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DISCLAIMER
The jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of The individual jokes found in This e-book. mosT of Them are, To The besT of our knowledge, in The public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The jokes wiThin The collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e-book, iT was noT willful. conTacT [email protected] and we will remove iT.
This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on This book. we are claiming an “ediTor’s” or “collecTion” copyrighT.
1Tintumon in Bus
Busil vadi kuthi nilkunna oru vayassan seatil irukkunna tintumonod “mon enne onnu sahayikkanam”
tintu: ”aa vadiyingu thannekoo,njan pidicholam”
2Dr.Tintumon
“MBBS” passaya Tintumon adhyamaayi operation cheyyan thudangumbol daivathod prarthichu:
“Joly kittiyathinte 1st gift itha njan angot ayakkunnu.sweekarikkane.”
3Frank Tintu
Teacher: Now tintumon, Tell me frankly. Do you say prayers before eating?
Tintumon: No sir, My mom is a good cook!!
4Chemistry genius
Tintumon : Eureka , I have found out the chemical TOILET
Calcium Cupric Sulphide…
To be precise , CaCuS ….
5Vazhipad
Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..
Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!
6
Pranayam
“Nashtappedam pakshe pranayikkathirikkaruth”-kamala surayya
“Pranayikkam pakshe thalayil aavaruth”-TINTU MON
7Tintu’s beach visit..
A man jumped into sea and never came out….
Nxt day, 2 men jumped into sea and never came out…
Tintumon after watching this concluded that:
MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER..!!
8Tintu’s Temple Visit
Tintumon: The youth nowaday is getting Worse!!
Friend: Y do u say that?
Tintu: I was in Temple, When a Guy next to me lit a Cigarette from the Aarathi. I was Shocked and almost dropped my Beer Bottle!!
9Strong Love
Tintumon to girlfriend:- “Theegolangal panju vannalum, Kodumkattu veeshi adichalum njan ninne swantham aakkum…..
Girlfriend:- naale varumo chetta?
Tintumon:- Nokkatte mazha illengil varam…
10Professor
A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”
professor: “i dont understand anything”
tintumon: “same 2 you”
11Sandwiches
One day tintumon went into a pub with his girlfriend Tintumol and after ordering two
drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.
So they exchanged their sandwiches…!!
12Similarity
Teacher: What is common between Gandhi, Budha, Krishna and Jesus…?
Tintumon: They were all born on public holidays
13New Boyfriend
Tintumon : My girl friend broke up with me and sent me pics of her with her new boy friend.
Appukuttan : Really bad.. what did u do??
Tintumon : I sent that pics to her dad :)
14SSLC
SSLC 10 vattam ezhuthi thotta Tintumon thante PEN, examination board nu ayachu koduthu.. Oppam oru kurippum:........“Aayudham vechu keezhadangunnu!” :D
15Group photo
Classinte Group photo eduthathinu sesham athu vangan kuttikale motivate cheyyunna teacher
Teacher: Ningal ellavarum valuthayikkazhinjal ningal ee photo nokki santhoshikkum. Appol mathrame ningalkithinte vila ariyoo..
Oral parayum.. ithu ramu.. ivan innu doctor aanu.. ithu kuttan… ivan ippol americayilanu…
Pinnilathe benchil ninnu Tintumon: Ithu teacher.. Iyal thattippoyi.
16Sangathi
Achan:Ethenthaadaa nee 5 kilo ulli vangikkondu vannathu?
Tintumon:Njaan naale pattu paadaan pokuvallai?
Achan:Athinenthinaada ulli?
Tintumon:Achan kettittillai Star Singeril sangathi ulleennu varanam eenu paranjathu..
17Water
Teacher:What is the formula of water?
Tintumon:H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)O
Teacher:What is this?
Tintumon: This is Corporation Water!
18Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!
19Mother!
Father to Tintumon: Why can you not think every woman as your mother?
Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?
20Petrol
Friend: Entha ithra vegathil angottum ingottum odunnath?
Tintumon: Brandiyanennu karuthi nhan petrol eduthukudichu. Athu oditheerkkukayanu!
21Goa
Teacher:Tintumon,Where is your native place?TintuMon: checkoslovakia.Teacher:Tell me the spelling…
(kure neram alochichathinu sesham tintumon)
Tintumon:Patticheeee…….!!!!!!my native place is GOA..
22Theater
Chicken Biriyani kazhichittu cinema kaanaan poya Tintumon veetil madangi vannu.
Tintumon : “Ini orikalum cinema kanan chicken thinnittu kerilla”
Didumol : “Enthu patti ?”
Tintumon : “Vayattilulla kozhi vare koovi …”
23Tintumon as god
Tintumon: appurathe veettukar enne daivamayitta kanunne.
Amma: athu ninakkengane manassilayi?
Tintumon: Njan avarude veetilekk chennappol avaru parayukaya……
“DAIVAME, NEE PINNEYUM VANNO…!!!”
24Stupid
Tintumon went to his Dad’s Friend’s home late night.
Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby’s room.
Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.
Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,
Tintumon : Who are you?
The girl replied,”I am Baby and You??”
Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!! :p
25Dosa
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintumon: Dosa
26Tintumonoda kali
To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Aaha angane vittal pattuo..Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..
27Sign Board
Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote“Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers”
28Exam
Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….
Kurach divasam kazhinju…..
Achan: Enthayeda result???
Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!
29Sleep with dad
Tintu: Im sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night..tintu: appo njan urangikazhinjayirikkum teacher vannath alle..?
30Achante upadesham
Achan: Daivam thamburan Molinnu vilichal nammalellavarum ponam tintumone….
Tintumon: Daivam thamburan molinnu vilichal moli mathram poya pore acho…??
31Mandan
Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu nilku”
Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon ezhunnettu.
Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?”
Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol sankadam thonni”
32Motta
Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu?
Tintumon jumped and said:“Physics missEnglish missMaths missSocial miss!!”
33Tintumon’s Diary
14-11-2009: Nhan avalod oru poo chodichu.
Aval oru poochedi thannu.
15-11-2009: Avalod oru page chodichu.
Aval oru book thannu.
16-11-2009: Avalod oru umma chodichu.
Umma mathramalla…….
uppayum angalamarum koodi nallonam thannu……
34Chandranil vellamundu
Vartha..” Chandranil vellamundu-ISRO”
TINTUMON: pedikkenda, athu pandu NEIL ARMSTRONG kulichappo oorivacha mundaayirikum…edukkan marannu kanum!!!
35Cigarette
Achante munpil ninnu cigaratte valikunna tintumonodu achan.
“Enthada ithu ? Achante munpil ninnano cigarette valikunnathu ? ”
Tintumonte cool marupadi – “Achanalle … petrol pump onnum allallo ! “
36Tintumon in classroom
Classil urangunna tintumonodTeacher: uushmav alakkunna upakaranam etha?
Tintumon: Chatukam
Teacher: nhan entha chodichath?
Tintumon: uppumav ilakkunna upakaranamalle teacher….
37Puli
Tintumon went to forest with his friend ,
pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!!
friend puliyude kannil mannu variyittu.
Friend: oodikko??
Tintumon: njan ethina odunne nee alle mannu vaary ittathu..!!!
38Red Beautiful
Teacher: nigalude achande name englishil parayamo?
Tintumon: RED BEUTIFUL UNDERWEAR
Teacher: Appol,Entha Achande Sharikula name
Tintumon: SUDERLAL SHETTI
39PTA meeting
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !
40Traffic sign board
Teacher : entha classil ethan vaikiyathu?
Tintumon: Traffic sign board kaaranam.
Teacher : Enthu sign board?
Tintumon : road side il ezuthi vachathu “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
41Indicator
caril pokunna achan tintumonod:”indicator kathunnundo?onnu nokku”
tintumon:”undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…”
42Medical shop
Tintumon in medical shopTintumon:- chetta! chumakulla oru marunnu tha.
Shopkeeper:- tonikkano?
Tintumon:- ‘Tony’kalla ente ammakkaa…
43Rajesh
Tintumon: a rajesh enne thalli,ini thaliyal njan shemichu enu varilla
Achan: nee mashodu paranjille?
Tintu: Hmmm…………avan thanneyanu ee rajesh!
44Revenge
Achan: eda tintuve…..nhan ninne vazhaku parayumbol ninaku feel aaville..appol nee ninte vishamom mattan enthu cheyum ?
Tintumon: njan veetile toilet nallapole vrithi aakum
Achan: athu kond ninte vishmom engane marana??
Tintumon: Nhan Toilet vrithi aakunath Achante toothbrush kond aanu!!!
45Good News
Tintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu!
Achan : Entha ?
Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!!
Achan : Uvvu !!!
Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?
46Auto
Autoyil ninnirangiya tintumon:ethrayayi
Driver:100 roopatintu mon 50 roopa koduthu,appol choodaya driver:ivide vare sughich irunnallo ennit 50 roopayo
Tintu:thaanum ivide vare sughich irunnathalle,thante paisa enthina njan tharunnath
47Chemistry Class
Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ?
Ramu : Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ?
Tintumon : “Filomina”
48Tintumonte Kalyanam
Tintumon: Njan ninte veetil poyirunnu,nammude kalyanam nadakkumennu thonnunnilla …
Tintumol :Endha, Achane kando ?
Tintumon: illa, ninte aniyathiye kandu.
49Tintumon and bus conductor
Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Chillara”, Is your father a Beggar ??
50Tintumonte Budhi
Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka
“Kriyathmagam”
Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!!
Tintumonoda Kali…
www.tintumon.com