Tim Clinton, Ed.D.Gary Sibcy, II, Ph.D.

Joshua Straub, Ph.D.

Mind

Relationship

Brain

Neural Networks—based on experience The Brain as a “social organ” Neural Plasticity Neural Integration Gene Expression Enriched Environments

How the brain grows◦ Bottom to top; right to left

Integrated, regulated brain◦ Top to bottom; left and right

Finding the Zone—◦ Support—safe, regulated◦ Challenge—emotional activation◦ Think—label, communicate, problem solve◦ Relate—attend, back-and-forth, collaborative

Brain wires itself based on experience Asks several questions:

◦ Is the world a safe place?◦ Can I count on my caregiver’s to help me in time

of need?◦ Can I get the care I need when I need it?

Care = Love

Implicit Memory—◦ Present at birth◦ Includes behavioral, emotional, perceptual, body◦ Mental models—states become traits◦ Conscious attention not required for encoding◦ No sense of recollection when memories recalled◦ Does not involve hippocampus—mostly amygdala

and limbic-motoric

Explicit Memory◦ Emerges in second year of life◦ Sense of recollection when recalled◦ If autobiographical, sense of self and time present◦ Includes semantic (factual) and episodic

(autobiographical)◦ Requires conscious attention◦ Involves hippocampus—converts to context◦ If autobiographical—involves prefrontal cortex

Sensitive, timely responses to child’s distress

Enhance regulation, brain stem, limbic system◦ Stimulate integration of these systems, ultimately

through integration of these systems with the middle prefrontal cortex

The Big FiveSeeks Proximity in times of trouble

Safe Haven ExperienceSecure BaseExplorationSeparationanxiety/angerLossGrief

Secure Base

Self-Confidence/Exploration

Perceived Threat

Felt security

Attachment System

Signaling

Proximity Seeking

Safe Haven

Caregiver’sSignal detection

The middle prefrontal cortex◦ Anterior cingualate◦ Orbital prefrontal cortex◦ The mediate prefrontal◦ Ventral lateral◦ All work together as a team

Body regulation-- Attuned communication-- Emotional balance-- Response Flexibility-- Insight— Empathy

Mindsight

Fear modulation Accessing intuition Morality

Inconsistent/Role reversal

Responsive/Attuned

Avoidant

Ambivalent

Disorganized

Secure

Frightening/Threatening/Dissociated

Rejecting/disengaged/overly Intrusive

Parent Responses Themes Attachment Style

AAI Classifications

of Pre-term Mothers in Third

Trimester of Pregnancy Child Strange

Situation Classification

At Twelve –Months

AAI Classification 16 To 20

Years Later 

70% ACCURACY

75% TO 78%

ACCURACY

The Sacred Romance -- “Lover of our Soul”

Love and Marriage -- Genesis 2:18-25; SOS;

Matt.19; I Cor. 7; I Cor. 13; Eph.5:21 ff; I

Peter 3:1-10

The Family -- Deut. 6:6-9, Psalm 127; I Tim. 5:8

Self Other

•Am I worthy? •Am I capable?•Am I willing?

•Are you trustworthy?•Are accessible?•Are you capable?•Are you willing?

SECURE

Comfortable with intimacy and

autonomy

PREOCCUPIED

Preoccupied with relationships and

abandonment

DISMISSING

Downplays intimacy, overly

self-reliant

FEARFUL

Fearful of intimacy, socially avoidant

OTH

ER

SELF

Posi

tive V

iew

Lo

w

Avoid

an

ce

Negati

ve

Vie

w H

igh

Avoid

an

ce

Positive View Low Anxiety

Negative View High Anxiety

Figure 1.Bartholomew’s model of self and other

Secure AttachmentSecure AttachmentSelf DimensionSelf DimensionI’m worthy of loveI’m worthy of loveI’m capable of getting the love I needI’m capable of getting the love I need

Other DimensionOther DimensionOthers are willing and able to love meOthers are willing and able to love meI can count on you to be there for meI can count on you to be there for me

Avoidant AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentSelf DimensionSelf DimensionI’m worthy of love (false pride)I’m worthy of love (false pride)I’m capable of getting love I want and need I’m capable of getting love I want and need (false sense of mastery)(false sense of mastery)

Other DimensionOther DimensionOthers are incompetentOthers are incompetentOthers are untrustworthyOthers are untrustworthy

Ambivalent AttachmentAmbivalent AttachmentSelf DimensionSelf DimensionI am not worth of love (I feel flawed)I am not worth of love (I feel flawed)I’m not able to get love I need without being I’m not able to get love I need without being angry or clingyangry or clingy

Other DimensionOther DimensionCapable but unwilling (bc my flaws)Capable but unwilling (bc my flaws)May abandon me (bc my flaws)May abandon me (bc my flaws)

Fearful AttachmentFearful AttachmentSelf DimensionSelf DimensionI’m not worthy of loveI’m not worthy of loveI’m unable to get the love I needI’m unable to get the love I need

Other DimensionOther DimensionOthers are unwillingOthers are unwillingOthers are unableOthers are unableOthers are abusive, I deserve itOthers are abusive, I deserve it

Other

Sel

f

+

_

+ __

Secure AttachmentSecure Attachment Full rangeFull rangeGood controlGood controlSelf-soothesSelf-soothesShares feelingsShares feelingsOk with others’ feelingsOk with others’ feelingsCapable of accurate empathyCapable of accurate empathy

Avoidant AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentRestricted RangeRestricted RangeToo much controlToo much controlUses things to soothe self, prone to Uses things to soothe self, prone to addictionsaddictionsKeeps feelings at a distanceKeeps feelings at a distanceDoesn’t share feelingsDoesn’t share feelingsRestricted empathyRestricted empathy

Ambivalent AttachmentAmbivalent AttachmentFull rangeFull rangePoor controlPoor controlCan’t self sootheCan’t self sootheShares Feelings too muchShares Feelings too muchOverwhelms others with their feelingsOverwhelms others with their feelingsUses feelings instrumentally to gain Uses feelings instrumentally to gain proximityproximity

Disorganized AttachmentDisorganized AttachmentFull Range, but few positive feelingsFull Range, but few positive feelingsPoor controlPoor controlCan’t self-sootheCan’t self-sootheCan’t really share with othersCan’t really share with othersOverwhelmed by others feelingsOverwhelmed by others feelingsDissociates when in face of strong emotionDissociates when in face of strong emotion

Secure AttachmentSecure AttachmentComfortable with closenessComfortable with closenessShares feelings and dreamsShares feelings and dreamsWilling to commitWilling to commitBalances closeness and distanceBalances closeness and distance

Avoidant AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentNot comfortable with closenessNot comfortable with closenessWithholds feelings and dreamsWithholds feelings and dreamsDifficulty with commitmentDifficulty with commitmentDistances Distances

Ambivalent AttachmentAmbivalent AttachmentDesires closeness, but never seems to Desires closeness, but never seems to have enoughhave enoughWants to merge with otherWants to merge with otherPreoccupied with abandonmentPreoccupied with abandonmentClings and criticizesClings and criticizesCrisisCrisisattachmentattachment

Disorganized AttachmentDisorganized AttachmentDesires closeness, but fears and avoids Desires closeness, but fears and avoids ititWants to merge, then wants to Wants to merge, then wants to distancedistanceTerrified of abandonmentTerrified of abandonmentSabotages closenessSabotages closenessAttracted to people who victimizeAttracted to people who victimize

Kirkpatrick◦ Reframes attachment within religious context

Christian conception of God satisfies Ainsworth’s attachment criteria:Seeks closeness in times of troubleSafe Haven ExplorationSeparationanxiety/angerLossGrief

Christian Attachment Therapy 27

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness

be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(NIV)

Ps 17:6-10I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings from the wicked who assail me, from my mortal enemies who surround me. They close up their callous hearts, and their mouths speak with arrogance.(NIV)

Christian Attachment Therapy 28

Ps 46:1-4God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah

Christian Attachment Therapy 29

-Research shows people seek God for a safe haven and secure base during times of stress.

Most researched area of attachment theory in the context of religion

In times of emotional distress or loss, it has been found that people:

-turn to prayer rather than the church -grieving persons tend to increase their faith and

religious devotion-soldiers pray more frequently in combat -times of death and divorce -fears associated with serious illness -emotional crises-relationship problems-other negative events

As substitute attachment figure (Kirkpatrick, 1992)

Provides “felt security” (Sroufe, 1977)

More similar to parent-child relationship but moderate and consistent link to romantic attachment (Kirkpatrick, 1992, 1999; Rowatt & Kirkpatrick, 2002)

Measured on two dimensions: Anxiety and Avoidance

(Beck & McDonald, 2004)

THE ATTACHMENT TO GOD INVENTORY(Beck and McDonald, 2004)

The Experiences in Close Relationships scale

(Brennan et al. 1998)-Avoidance of Intimacy-Anxiety about Abandonment

Increased Avoidance

A reluctance to communicate

Avoidance of emotionality

Obsessive self-reliance

Increased anxiety of abandonment

Preoccupation and worry

Angry protest

Increased jealousy

Resentment

Concerns that they are lovable

Fears of abandonment in love relationship with God

Attachment style impacts how God is viewed◦Secure: He is there, I can count on Him. He will

accepts me, in spite of my flaws◦Avoidant: He isn’t there for me when I need

Him. I will have to go at life alone. I don’t really need Him.

◦Ambivalent: I’m too flawed; God is sure to reject me. I probably committed the unpardonable sin

◦Disorganized: I’m flawed, beyond repair. God will strike me down if I turn toward Him. He will surely reject or punish me.

Christian Attachment Therapy 34

-God may serve as a compensatory attachment figure for individuals displaying insecure attachment patterns (Kirkpatrick & Shaver, 1997, 1998).

--avoidant attachment types had higher incidents of sudden conversions. These results indicate that God may serve the role of a substitute attachment figure (emotional compensation), compensating for the distant, unresponsive care-giving style they experienced in infancy and childhood. This hypothesis is based upon Ainsworth’s (1985) findings that those with insecure attachment styles seek substitute objects of attachment.

-proposes that individuals with secure attachment styles are more likely to sustain a future belief and relationship with God because a foundation has been established throughout childhood. This hypothesis is based on Bowlby’s (1969) idea that relationship permanence and stability stem from stable working models of attachment (Kirkpatrick & Shaver, 1997, 1998).

According to this hypothesis--the explanation to the root of

religiousness in securely attached individuals may be derived “from

without”, or socialization processes, whereas the religiousness of the

insecurely attached individual may be derived “from within”, or

emotional regulation (Granqvist & Hagekull).

The connection between attachment insecurity and sudden religious conversion

may be considered the most robust and corroborated finding from the research on

attachment and religion…This interpretation is in line with ambivalents’ observed tendency to desperately seek

care and easily fall in love, and may be a continuation of the inconsistency in

parental caregiving that has been shown to be characteristic of parents in

ambivalent dyads

Factual

Emotional

Volitional

Secure Childhood

Insecure Childhood

Insecure Adult/Romantic

Secure Adult/Romantic

Insecure God

Secure God

Trauma/Loss

Corrective Relational Experience

Warmth and security—responsiveness and attunement

Regulation so child is not overwhelmed Relatedness and engagement Back and forth emotional signaling and

gesturing Problem solving Using ideas in meaningful and functional

way Thinking and reasoning

Step I: Remember Your Story – Narrative Recall

Step II: Recognize Your Pain and Need for Healing – “Can’t heal what you don’t feel”

Step III: Reframe the Meaning of Your StoryStep IV: Repair Your Story – ‘forgiveness,

grace and acceptance’Step V: Reconnect – deepening emotional

strands of safety, trust and intimacy; able to accept influence from others.