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Last life syndrome. (from MESSAGES FROM THE EDGE) The last life has a special resonance and we may find ourselves propelled into expiatory circumstances to round the sequence off and finish up what has been left undone. It is a kind of tidying up - sensing the conclusion of something that cannot now be changed. We do not want to leave a mess behind us, and the pressure to get it right at last may be enormous. Also the sense of privilege at having been allowed to undertake this extraordinary journey in the first place, and a real feeling of reconciliation: of homecoming without the grief of departure.
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This is your last trip they said
This is your last trip they saidAnd we strongly advise against it
It is too soon
You are still depleted from the last time round
And have not got the strength
It cant be helped I said
This soul that was my child has married foolishly
And is at riskI have to go to her and be her baby
You cannot help they said
She has chosen a path of suffering
And is deluded
She will sacrifice herself in vain
Nevertheless I will do what I can I said
I will have a go
Make the best of it you knowPut on a brave face and cheer her up a bit
You are a fool they said weak and rebellious You always have been volatile and reckless
You have made enemies who will target you
And now you are in dangerNothing new there then I saidCant sit around all day you know
Have to get moving
Show him I know who he isThen this is your last chance they saidTo try to get it right
Well display the available options
And you must choose blindfoldCarry on Old Sport I said
Display away
Ill probably make a hash of it
I usually do
Then over here is worldliness they said
It will make you successful rich and famous
Keep you in the public eye
And always on the tele
OK I said that looks a lot of fun
Bit of a strain too though I should imagine
Always on show rather an effort that
High maintenance you know what I mean
This is more in keeping with your temperament they said
It is Exploration Adventure Soldiering the Outdoor Life
But youre so depleted after the last time round
You havent got the strength and are rather ill
Thats a shame I saidI should have enjoyed that
But maybe I can have adventures in a wheel-chair
Whizzing about a bit you know
You ought to stop larking about they said
For you will be consistently at risk
Targeted and assailed by unseen forces Wounded by those you trust implicitly
And powerless to resist because you love themYoull attract weak and helpless men they said
Because you need the injured to ease your suffering
You will know more than can be of use to you
And not enough of what serves your interests best
For you look into the eyes of others and see their painYou will try several times to come back they said
But will not succeed
For you will live much longer than you planned for
In hopes of achieving the unachievableThough this is unlikely they said
For in our view you have not the qualities to survive
Let alone achieve
And we repeat we advise against this journey
Blindfold you chose your gifts they said
The bare necessities needed to survive
And these are the options you have chosenTENACITY FORTITUDE HONESTY and COMMON SENSE
We are happy with these options they said
And believe you have chosen wisely
For in spite of all we have said we love you dearly
And wish you Bon Voyage
As this is your final trip they said
You are offered a BONUS gift
Which is not chosen and cannot be exchanged
You may open this gift at the moment of departure
Thats great I said Im very grateful
Im sure it will prove most useful
And as the voyage was underway
I opened up the bonus to look inside
The gift was RAPTURE(from MESSAGES FROM THE EDGE copyright E. J. Ward 2015)