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The Frog Prince 2

THE FROG PRINCE By George Halitzka

The Frog Prince 3

CAST OF CHARACTERS FROG, who lives on a lily pad outside the palace

PRINCESS, a snobby teenager KING, father to the princess

SETTING The Royal Palace and a nearby pond on a warm summer day.

DEDICATION This one is for Joie—she knows why.

The Frog Prince 4

THE FROG PRINCE

(The FROG enters, speaking into his cell phone.)

FROG Hi, I’d like to order a large pizza for delivery. . . . Two toppings? Flies and spiders, please. . . . Yeah, this is Rupert J. Bullfrogg, second lily pad from the corner of . . . Whattayamean, you only serve my kind on a plate? Frog legs are murder, lady!

(He angrily flips his phone shut. The PRINCESS enters carrying a ball and wearing a tiara. When she sees the FROG, she immediately begins complaining.)

PRINCESS

Eewwww . . . I’m telling Daddy there’s a nasty frog in my pond again!

FROG Hey, what have I ever done to you?

PRINCESS You’re disgusting! I don’t want ugly things in my pretty pond.

FROG Ugly is only skin deep. I’m a nice frog: I eat flies, croak merrily at night—

PRINCESS I wish you’d croak—

FROG Ohh, just because you’re a “Princess”—

PRINCESS —I can get anything I want. And that means you out of my pond! I’m gonna play with my pretty ball over here where I can’t see you.

FROG Yeah? I hope you get warts!

(The PRINCESS pointedly turns her back on the FROG. He sighs and begins to sing—loudly and off-key.)

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, Nobody knows my sorrow . . .

The Frog Prince 5

(The PRINCESS throws up her ball and catches it, going higher each time. After a few throws, she finally gets fed up at the FROG’S singing and throws the ball at him! But she misses, and it flies offstage into the “pond.”)

PRINCESS

Oh, Mr. Froggy . . . nice, kind Froggy . . . Could you get my ball out of the pond?

FROG Hmm, let me think about that . . . HA! HA!

PRINCESS My Daddy will turn you into frog sushi!

FROG Sticks and stones may break my bones—

PRINCESS Pleeeeaase? Pretty please with sugar on top?

FROG You haven’t been a very nice princess lately—

PRINCESS I didn’t mean it and I’m really sorry. Pleeeeaase get my ball?

FROG Well . . . since you apologized—

PRINCESS Thank you, Froggy!

(The FROG retrieves the ball and brings it to the PRINCESS.) Um, would you mind rinsing it off?

FROG It was just in the water—

PRINCESS —But then you touched it, and you’re gross.

The Frog Prince 6

FROG (winding up to pitch the ball back into the pond)

Okay, that’s it—

PRINCESS I just asked you to rinse it—

FROG Maybe I’ll turn it into a lily pad—

PRINCESS Pleeeeaase can I have my ball? I’ll do whatever you want—

FROG Whatever?

PRINCESS Within reason—

FROG Then I want to go the palace with you, and eat from your plate, and sleep on your pillow, and get a big good-night smooch!

PRINCESS The frog thinks he’s a comedian—

FROG No smoochie, no ballie!

PRINCESS (sighing)

Okay, fine—whatever . . .

FROG So you’ll do it?

PRINCESS Sure.

FROG Then here’s your ball.

(The FROG hands her the ball.)

The Frog Prince 7

PRINCESS Thanks, Froggy—I mean, sucker!

(She runs offstage. The FROG calls after her.)

FROG We had a deal!

(shaking his head) Never trust a princess. I guess I’ll have to do this the hard way.

(The FROG leaps across the stage and knocks at an imaginary door.)

KING (disembodied voice; strong echo effect)

Who dares darken the door of the King’s Palace?

FROG Hi, Your Majesty. It’s me, down here—Rupert J. Bullfrogg.

KING And what boon do you seek from His Majesty?

FROG Well, I made a deal with your daughter. The snotty one who insults frogs?

KING Teenagers. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

FROG She promised that if I got her ball out of the water, I could live in the palace and eat from her plate and sleep on her pillow and get a big good-night smooch. Then she took off and left me up the pond without a paddle.

KING (thundering)

My daughter? Princess, get your royal booty in here!

PRINCESS (running onstage—she’s been listening in)

But Daddy, that thing is gross—

KING Did you make a promise to this frog?

The Frog Prince 8

PRINCESS I didn’t mean it—

KING No daughter of mine makes empty promises!

PRINCESS But Daddy—

KING Don’t “But Daddy” me! You take this frog to the royal kitchen right now and feed him from your plate—or you can forget going to the ball this weekend!

PRINCESS That’s not fair! He’s ugly—

KING Ugly is only skin deep.

PRINCESS (tantrum)

I don’t wanna—I don’t wanna!

KING (thundering)

NOW!

PRINCESS All right, Gross Frog . . . come with me.

(The PRINCESS takes the FROG over to a small table. She plops a plate of food in front of him rudely.)

Here.

(The FROG begins eating sloppily from the plate.)

FROG Mmm . . . better than flies! Aren’t you having any?

PRINCESS (pouting)

I’m not hungry.

The Frog Prince 9

FROG Okay, more for me!

(The FROG eats some more, then wipes his mouth on his sleeve.) Now where’s this princess pillow of yours? I can’t wait to try it out!

(The PRINCESS slams a pillow onto the table.)

PRINCESS Here.

FROG (laying his head on it)

Ahhhh . . . thanks; I’ll try not get too much pond scum on it.

PRINCESS Could be hard when you are pond scum.

FROG Now, Princess . . .

PRINCESS Anything else before bed, Your Grossness?

FROG Just my good-night smooch.

PRINCESS No way!

FROG You promised—

PRINCESS I told you, I didn’t mean it—

FROG So the princess is a liar?

PRINCESS No, I just hate gross things—

The Frog Prince 10

FROG Should I get Daddy?

PRINCESS Go ahead! He won’t make me do Frog Kiss Torture!

FROG (calling off)

Oh, your Majesty . . .

PRINCESS No, don’t tell—

FROG Then I get my smoochie?

(The PRINCESS takes a moment to weigh her options.)

PRINCESS If you give me warts, I’ll see you on a plate!

FROG Rrrrribbit! Pucker up, baby!

PRINCESS Eewwww . . .

(The FROG gives the PRINCESS a big dip-kiss. As they dip, she pulls off his frog mask, and he’s human again.)

FROG

Did it work?

(The PRINCESS spits and wretches with her back turned to the FROG.)

PRINCESS I’m gonna be sick—

FROG Princess, look at me! Did it work?

PRINCESS I’m PUKING! Is that what you wanted, you slimy little—

The Frog Prince 11

(She turns to see the FROG without the mask—now, he’s handsome!)

PRINCESS (cont’d) Hello—you’re cute!

FROG Hallelujah, it worked!

PRINCESS Where did you come from?

FROG I’m the frog!

PRINCESS No, seriously—

FROG I was a prince until this evil witch put a spell on me—

PRINCESS He’s a prince; I think I’m in love—

FROG —And it could only be broken if somebody kissed my frog puss.

PRINCESS Are you serious?

FROG Do frogs like flies?

PRINCESS Then I have to introduce you to Daddy! And we’ll dance at the ball, and fall in love, and send out wedding invitations, and—

FROG Whoa! Slow down, Princess—

PRINCESS You’re a prince, right?

FROG Yeah—

The Frog Prince 12

PRINCESS

And I broke your spell, right?

FROG Sure—

PRINCESS So what’s left besides Happily Ever After?

FROG How do I know you mean it?

PRINCESS What?

FROG Happily Ever After. What if you run off with another frog?

PRINCESS As long as you’re hot, we’re good—

FROG You didn’t take me to the palace when you promised—

PRINCESS Of course not—you were disgusting!

FROG Well . . . I can’t trust somebody who’s only nice to get what she wants.

PRINCESS But I didn’t know you were cute!

(The FROG shakes his head and sighs.)

FROG Princess, ugly is only skin deep.

PRINCESS You sound like Daddy.

FROG But kindness? That lasts forever.

The Frog Prince 13

(PRINCESS flashes him the “whatever” sign.)

FROG (cont’d)

Seeya around the pond, Princess.

PRINCESS Wait—what about the Royal Ball?

(The FROG exits. The PRINCESS calls after him—) This was much easier when you were gross!

(singing dejectedly) Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen, Nobody knows my sorrows . . .

(Blackout.)

THIS IS A SAMPLE SCRIPT.

It is provided for personal reading and evaluation purposes only. You may not perform this play until you have purchased a

licensed copy of the script from www.dramabygeorge.com.

Copyright © 2011 George Halitzka. All rights reserved.

The Frog Prince 14

PRODUCTION NOTES

Synopsis: A snotty Princess wants nothing to do with the palace pond’s resident Frog. Of course, that’s before he turns into a prince. But this version of the story doesn’t end happily ever after—instead of a date for the ball, the Princess gets her just desserts! Character Education Connections: Judging based on appearances, kindness, the consequences of our actions. Running Time: 8 minutes. Cast: 2 males, 1 female (one of the male roles is an offstage voice). Staging Requirements: One side of the stage represents a pond; the other side, the interior of the palace. The frog sits on some sort of lily pad. In the palace, there’s a table covered with a rich-looking cloth. Lighting & Sound Requirements: No special lighting effects. You’ll need a door-knocking sound effect when the Frog arrives at the palace. The King should deliver his lines from an offstage mic with reverb (echo effect). Costumes: The FROG wears a rubber full-face frog mask (until the PRINCESS pulls it off to turn him into a human again). His apparel should be fairly nice—he is, after all, a prince. The PRINCESS wears a fashionable dress, expensive-looking jewelry, and a tiara. Props: Cell phone (FROG), pink ball (PRINCESS), ornate plate containing finger food, pillow in satin case (on the table in the palace kitchen).