Thirty-Two Clerihews for the 2010 UK General Election

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  • 8/9/2019 Thirty-Two Clerihews for the 2010 UK General Election

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    ...Butb

    ehone

    st,Iam

    lesspreachythanhew

    as,a

    ren'tI

    ?

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    *Affairs going public are, alas, no longer a cause for resignation.

    However, no-one should be forced to visualise Prescott in a discreet act ofattempted procreation.

    Itreallycouldn'thavebeen

    me

    ...Iwasonth

    e

    othe

    rsid

    eof

    town

    whe

    nithappened...Ihavewi

    tnesses

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    Weshallfightthemint

    hechamb

    er,int

    he

    corridorsand

    the

    committee

    rooms,

    weshall nevers

    urrender...

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    Myn

    extb

    ookw

    illbecalled

    'HowIW

    asRight

    AllAlong'

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    Th

    ey

    le

    ftam

    a

    nw

    ith

    no

    fu

    tureincharg

    eoftheBritishe

    conomy...thatm

    akesp

    erfe

    ctsense.

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    Iu

    suall

    ypay

    toclear

    upmyownactsofvandal

    ism...n

    ow

    I'mpaid

    toc

    lea

    ru

    psomeoneelse's...

    ECONOMY

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    Ikeepmydaggerinmysum

    merjacket,yousee.

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    Isaid

    was

    ...Imeantt

    hat...y

    ou'v

    et

    wistedm

    y

    word

    s...itw

    assecretlyreco

    rdeda

    ftera

    ll

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    ...andwhen

    Ishak

    eKimJo

    ngIl's

    ,I'llhavetheset

    ,you

    see

    .

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    Perha

    psIco

    uldhavephrasedth

    atalittl

    ebitbetter...

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    Remarkablehowsomanyofusingovernmenta

    reformerMarxists...

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    Look,it's

    quitea

    senio

    rpost

    ...

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    Itwaseithe

    rthiso

    rdoth

    at

    fancyd

    res

    sth

    ingonk

    ids'TV...

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    ...sonomorepistejokes,th

    en...

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    ...and

    Iha

    dthat

    barne

    y

    with

    Cleggonthetelly...

    *Apart from Campbell, Kennedy, Opik and poor Mark Oaten,

    The latter's execrable exploit is, however, best forgoatten.

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    Yous

    ee,

    someo

    fu

    shave

    to

    havemor

    eequ

    alitythanothers....

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    *The popular description of this scandal was obvious, I am thirty-five years

    too late,

    In asking lazy journalists to refrain from suffixing such events with '-gate'.

    ...

    It'

    safair

    copguv

    ,but

    societ

    y'sto

    blam

    e.

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    Thisisal

    lac

    omp

    lete

    loadof.

    ..it'sonth

    etipofmy

    ton

    g

    ue...

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    Iusedtodosta

    nd-

    up

    monol

    gu

    esonChannel4with

    Bad

    di

    el...

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    It'

    s

    on

    lyb

    ecau

    se

    I'm

    nota

    sgood-lookingashim

    ...

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    Fish

    y,fishy,f

    ishy,fish

    y,

    fis

    hy,fi

    sh.

    ..

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    *I apologise. Perhaps she has no desire to be a mother or a wife.

    She might even be cohabiting I have no insight whatsoever into her

    personal life.

    Busy

    ,b

    usy

    bee

    ,th

    at's

    me,

    that's

    me

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    *But before, on this, I start fielding some most unpleasant calls,

    She simply may not want to be described as 'Mrs Evey Balls'.

    Lesso

    ftheh

    andbag,

    matey

    an

    d

    more

    ofth

    e

    hoc

    ke

    ystic

    kknowha'a'mean,awright?

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    Youdidn'

    tmen

    tionthes

    hoes!Th

    eshoes!N

    obod

    yevergetsth

    eshoes!

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    *If this is not the case then up I will not be het,

    As on this topic I did perform a thorough search upon the internet.

    ...butI

    don

    'tthinkI

    've

    been

    scar

    redbyit

    ...

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    *To avoid a contempt of Parliament a clarification I feel I owe.

    It was the election outcome to which I referred and absolutely not MrBercow.

    Mayb

    enexttim

    e...but

    ...

    maybe...n

    ot.

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    Shabb

    a-ba

    bba-b

    oo-bo

    o-boo-oo

    laythatcrazyvibedownonme da

    ddy-o

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    *One wonders why he felt that, with us paying, only forty the job could do,

    When we would have clearly been better off had he bought, second-hand, a

    cathode-ray with only thirty-two.

    Youfo

    rget

    tomention

    th

    e

    cinemasoun

    ds

    ystem

    Igot...itreallybrin

    gs

    outthe

    film...

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    *It is to be hoped that this blatantly dishonest attempt at remuneration,

    Will permanently prevent for them a successful House of Lords nomination.

    Paul Timothy Horgan,

    For you, this humble offering he has organ-

    -ised. Aged forty-six, for twenty-five years a career in IT he enjoyed,

    Until the Dot-Com Bust and Credit Crunch, because of which he became

    quite unemployed.

    Any

    really

    bad

    newsy

    ouwa

    nttob

    ury?

    I'll

    ma

    ke

    th

    is

    your

    bestyearever,

    big

    boy...

    Me?

    HelpstartawarintheGulf?W

    ithmyreputatio

    n?

    Textma

    deava

    ilableun

    dera

    Crea

    tive

    Common

    sAttri

    bu

    tion

    2.5

    license.

    Images

    derived

    from

    Wikipe

    dia

    .Allrig

    htsac

    know

    ledge

    d