SIMPLICITY-THEFORMULAFORSUCCESSFULCOMMUNlCAnONHave you ever felt the frustrationofnot being abletosayexactlywhat youmean?Doyoubecomeboggeddownin jargon thai makes your writingstale. heavy,clicheriddell-insteadofdirect andforceful?\Vou]dyouliketobepersuasive,to catchand holdtheattentionof your audience?hi this excitingbook, Dr. Rudell Fleschoutlines:I systematic progmrnlor self-expression.Followingastep-by-stepsequenceof lessons.usingspecificexamplesallddefiniterulcs,11CJICJpSyou tobuildasct ot mentalprocessesthat will result ill the habit ofcJcar tliinkingandeOectivccommuniC3tion.DR. RUDOLF FLESCH is a renowned authority onwriting improvement, a tc.1cher. a consultrlnt, and theauthor of many books and articles. Hisbooks, 3mongthemThe Art of Plain Talkand WhyJohnnyCan't Read&\Vhaf You Can DoAbout It, are nationwidebestsclleuandrecognizedclassics inthefieldofcommunication.CD SIGNET il!J) MENTORFOR YOUR REFERENCE SHELF(0451)o SlANG AND EUPHEMISMby Richard A. Spears. Abridged. FromslangterminologylIesefihingvarious bodily lunctionsand sexual aelstoIhecenturies-old cant of thieves and prostitutes 10 Ihe language 01 themoderndrugculture, hereare13,500 entriesand30,000definitions ofall Ihe words and expressions so carefully omitted Irom standarddictionariesand!lclile conversation. (149793--$4.951o THE LIVElYARTOFWRITINGby LucileVaughanPayne. An essential guidetoone of today'smost necessary skills. nilluminesIheuses-andmis WllrdS. sentences, paragraphs. andthemes, and provides expffifydesignedexercises toinsurethoroughundmlanding. (626168-$3.95)o HOW TOWRITE, SPEAK ANDTHINKMOREEFFECTIVELY by Rudolf Flesch.This renownedaulllolilyonwlitingoilersyoua complete,CDUlse for improvingyour thinking, writing, and speaking abilihes. Acompletecoulseintileart clcommunication. 041938-$4.50)o THE BASICBOOKOF SYNOHYMSAHDANTONYMSby laurenceUrdang,Expandyour vocabularywhileaddingvariety10yourwriling.....ithlhousands of tile most commonly used words in the English Alphabetically arrangedlorQUickandeasy use, thisindispensablegUideincludes sample sentenmfor eachword. (149874-$3.95)Prices slightly higherinCanadaBuy thtm at yOUl lecalDr UlllIIls clltl'Unllnl rer oldulna.NEWAMERICANLIBRARYP.O. SeQ 999.lle'IUlleld, Hew JI's.y 07621P1e.ne send me the boolls 1ha'o't! th1:ed abQ'II.1 am ennounsandhuman-interest wordsper 100wordsofyour text,you can check thedegree of humaninterest against thistable:Numberoj personal rejUe1lCes per 100wordsVERY EASY 19 or moreEASY 14FAIRLYEASY 10STA!'1DARD 6PAIRLYDIFFiCULT 4DIFFICULT 3VEAYDIFFICULT 2 orlessThestandard of 6personal references per 100words Ufound, (or instance, in(eaturearticles inpopular magazines.Veryeasyprose, for instancelovestoriesin pulpmagazines,runstoabout20suchwords in 100: that me:tns, everyfifthwordinsuch fictionrefers10 aperson. Very. difficult scientificm:tterial, of course, maybewritten without mentioning anypersons at all.EXERCISERewritetheresl of thearticleonimpregnatedwood10thehum'tIlinlereststandardofTime(about 8 personalrefcrcncesper 100 words):The product developed fromresearch begun by theU.S. Forest Products Laboralory. Theimpregnatingma-terial, calledmetbylolurea. ismade principallyfromtwocheap, plentiful chemicals-urea and formaldehyde-which aresynthesizedfromcoal, air and water. In theimpregnating process, wood is pressed and soaked inmethylolurea solution, whichisconvertedbythewood',acids inlO hard, insoluble resins. The wood becomesbrittle, but thisdisadvanlagecnn be parliyoffset byim-pregnating only the oUier part of Ihe wood, leavingaresilientcore.56 How'TO WRITE, SI'nAK, ANnTnrm: MORI! EFFECTtVELYImpregnated wood is socheap and versatile that OnPont claims it will compete with the much more expensiveplastics and light metllis. Moreover, the processwill makeusablevast resourcesof lillie-usedsoft woods-maples, poplars, gums. etc. The impregnationprocesssimplifies the makingof veneers anu plywoods, becausepressed and impregnated layers of wood need noglue.Chapter SixLNEWORDSYou nowknowthe recipe for simplicity: talk about peoplein short sentences wilh many root words. Here is an easytrickfor killing these three birds with one stone: Useverbs.Let me repeat thai: Use verbs.Nothing is as simple as a brief three-word sentence thatfollows the paUern: somebodydoessomething. Itistheverbthatgiveslife10 anysentence; it Iilerallymakes thesentencegBut we have setn that in Chinese, the simplest of alllanguages, there is no such thing as a verb (or noun oradjective, (or that matter). How, then, dotheChinesemaketheirsentences go?Well, lheexplanationissimple: onewordineach sentenceserves, so to speak, as its motor; for thisparticular sentence, it works as a verb. If a Chinese says"Manbitedog." theword bite, otherwiseunclassified, servesas a verb; that's why it has been putaftermanandbefore doC.lnmodernEnglish, whichgets moreandmore "Chinese,"we do that all the time and "appoint" a word to do verbservice by puning it in a certain place in a sentence. Wecan say "Raise your (acc" or "Facc your raise"; "Ship abook" or "Book a ship"; "Spot thecover" or "Coverthe SPOI:'There is 00 question that each of lhesc sentences has averbinit, andnoquestion whichis the verb.The point of all this is, of course, that I amtalkinghereonly of those words that are usedasverbs in11 senteoce. Theyarewhat thegrammarianscall the"finiteactive verbforms"and theyaretheonlyones that have life io them. Hearingof verbs. you probably think of passive participles and infinitives and gerunds and all the other fancy vnrieties thatbaveplagued your grammar-school days. Well, forget nboutthem: for all practical purposestheyarenot verbs, bUInouns"58 HowTO WRITI!, SPEAr, ANDTHINKMORE EpPEcnYELYor adjcctivcs-lifeless words that won't makeyour scntcnccsmovc. The verbsyouwant tousearc thosethat arcinactivebusiness doing verbwork; if you usc a verb in the passivevoiccor makc 8 participlcor nounout of it, you havc lostthe most valunble pari intheprocess: it's likecookingvegc-tables andthrowingawaythe water withall thevitaminsinit.If yougothrough anynewsp3per ormagazineandlookforllctive, kickingverbs inthesentences, youwill realizethat thislack of well-uscd "erbs is the main troublc with modernEnglish writing. Almost all nonfiction nowadays is wriuenin a SOrl of pale, colorless sauce of passives and infinitives,motionlcssandflataspaper. Listcntotbis, for instance(fromanessay byPaul SchreckerintheSaturday Review):Maybethegradual actualizationof thissolidarityW:1Sthe result of scientific and bence technological progrcsswhich caused distances to shrink and required ever-exp3nding markets. But it is a preconceived and en-tirely unwarranted idea to believe this technologicalunification tohave beena primary cause, and hence tooverlook the fact that its triumphant 3ppearanceon thcworldscene would' not have been possible without theprior existence of a potential world-civilization, TIleever-cxpandingsphereof influence ofliteraturc, science,andworks of art, which rarclyrespccts anynational orregional boundaries, cannot bc accountcd for by theintroduction of faster :mdeasier means of communica-tionor bythe improved tcehnological mcthods of manreproduction. The phenomenon rcvcals mankind's pre-plIredness to respond prompdy 10 incentives emergingfromthe ficlds of knowledge and the ans, irrcspcctiveoftheirnational andrcgional origin.Orhowabout this (from"MaryHaworth's Mail"):Morbid preoccupation withthoughts of sex gratifica-tion, alter one has att.lined tbe IIge of reason, is not asign of emotional precocity, as some may supposc; butjust the opposile. namely: evidence of II definitely in-fantile type of emotional egocentricity; wbat the psy-chologists call a state of arrestcd devclopment. Theuncomprchendinginarticulateinfant'ssenseof well-beingis wholly relatcd tobodilyfeelings,-of being well fed,comfortably clothed and bedded, fondly caressed, etc.His sole concern, insislently registered. is with physicalLtvSWOJU)S 59gratification. because instinct tells himthat pleasurablesensations, at his helpless level of development, aresynonymous with areassuring sufficiency of creature careandbealthysurvival.Now, if you look closely, you will notice that the only active,finiteverbs inthefirst passageare andfour mildlyactive verbs matched by27 passiveforms, infinitives, participles, verbs made into nouns, andforms of theauxiliaryverb 10Inthesecondpassage. wehavesuppose, co/l. and tells, against 32 inactive verb formsofvarious types.AndnowIe! uslookat thelanguageof Shakespeare ortheBible, forcontrast. Hereisa speechbyBrutus:No, not anoath; ifnot l:hefaceof men,Thesufferance ofoursouls, thetime'sabuse--If thesebemotivesweak, breakorrbetimes,And everyman hencetohisidlebed;Solethigh-sightedt}'Tl1nnyrangeon,Till each mandrop by lottery. But if these.As r amsuretheydo, bearfireenoughTokindlecowards, and-10steel withvalourThemelting spirits of women; then, countrymen.What needweanyspur, butourowncause,Toprickustoredress?whatotherhand,Thansecret Romans, that havespoke theword,Andwill oat palter?andwhat other oath,Thanhonestytohonestyengag'd,That Ihisshall be, orwewill fall for it?Swear priests, andcowlU'ds, and meneautclous,Oldfeeblecarrionsand suchsufferingsoulsThatwelcomewrongs; u_ntobadcausesswearSuch creaturesas mendoubt; but donolstainTheevenvinueofour enterprise,Northeinsuppressivcmettleof ourspirits,Tothinkthat orourcauseorourperformanceDidneedan oath; wheneverydropofbloodThat every Roman bears, andnobly bears,Isguillyofasevernl bastardy,If bedobreakthesmallest particleOfanypromisethat halhpass'd fromhim.Andthesearewordsof Job:60 HowTOWarrs. SP!!.U". "1'01) 1'n1laMaRl! EPFECT1\"ELYWherdore dothe wicked live, become old, yea, aremightyinpower?Their seedisestablisbed intheirsight withthem, andtheir offspringbeforetheireyes.Their houses nre snfefromfeu, neitber istherodofGoduponthem.Theirbull gendercth, and failethnot; their cow calvetb,andcastethnot bercalf.They sendforth their littleoncslikeaflock, andtheirchildrendance.They lake the timbrel and bllrp, and rejoice at tbesoundof the organ.Theyspendtheir daysinwealth, andinamoment godown 10thegrave.Therefore lhey say unto God, Depart from us; forwedesirenOt theknowledgeofthyways.What is theAlmighlY, that weshouldserve him? andwhat profitshouldwe have, if weprayuntohim?La, their goodis nOI intheirband: thecounsel ofthewickedisfar fromme.Howoft is thecandleofthe wickedput out! andhowoftcomeththeir destructionupontheml Goddistributelbsorrows inhisanger.Theyare asstubblebeforethewind, andaschaff thatthestormcarriethaway.Clearly, mostofthe power, movemenf, andbeauty ofthesepassages comes fromthe successionof active verbs: Shake-spearemakestyrannyrange, mendrop, and 11 causeprick liS10redress; the Biblemakes a bull gender. acowcalve. andchildren dance: There are 19live verbs in the Shakespearepassage against 11 passive verb forms, verbal nouns, eIC.;inthe Biblepassage theratiois 2010 II.MaybeyouwillsayIhat I amunfairinusingIheBibleandShakespeareasexamples. Afterall, newspapersandmagazinearticles are written tomeet adeadline, bywriters whodon'tdreamof beingliterarygeniuses; sowhycompare their stylewithall-time masterpieces? I admit I amalittlebiased here;but anybody can try 10 use aclive, workingverbs whereverpossible. It won't make himaShakespeare but it will milkehim write good. plain English. Here is, for instance, onemodernexample[romErniePyle:The company I was wilh gOI itsorders torest about5 one afternoon. They dug foxholes alongthehedgerows,LIVE WORDS 61orcommandeeredGermanonesalreadydug. Regardlessof how tired youmaybe, youalways dig inthefirst thing.Thentheysent somemenwithcanslookingforwater.They got more Krations up by jeep, !lnd sat on thegroundeatingthem.Theyhopedthey wouldstaythereall night, but theyweren't countingon it toomuch. Shortlyafter supper alieutenant came out of a farmhouse and told the ser-sellOts topassthewordtobereadytomove in 10min-utes. Theybundledontheir packsandstartedjust beforedark.Withinhalf anhour they hadnlnintoanewfight thatlasted all night. Theyhad had less than four hours' restinthreesolid daysof fighting. That's the waylife is illtheinfantry.There are 16 working verbs there and not a single verbformor nounthat could, orshould, beturnedintoanactive,finite verb. And nowcompare it with this sentence fromapopulararticleoneconomics:In somewhat over-simplified techniclll terms, innlltionis cllused by the existence, at any given time in aneconomicsystem, of anaggregateofeOectivepurchasingpowergreater thantheaggregateof thegoodsandservicesfor sale.What a definition! "Innation"iscausedbythe existenceofan aggregate thllt is greater thun another aggregate. Thisshows clearly howimpossible it is to describe a process-somethinghappening-without usinga singleactiveverb. Ob-viously the writer reali:z.cd that himself, because the neusentencereadslikethis:, ..Whenwendduptheamountsof cashandcreditofnil kindsat thedisposal ofevcrybodywhois readytobuysomething, nndfind that thesumis larger than thesumof all the things to be bought at existing prices,thcnprices arclikelytogoup.Nowthe verbs arein thcir proper ploces, and everythingbecomescrystalelear: First we addsomclhing, then we findthat it is larger than something else, nnd then prices willgolip. Thisistbeclassictypeof scientificcxplanation: If youdoXandY, what bappcns is Z. (Or, in theDe Kruif man62 HowTOWllrTe, Srn.u:. ANDTlllNXMORE EPFECTIVElYner: The great scientist did Xand Y, and whal happenedwasZ.)And now, let's get down 10 work and trY 10 rewrite a""verbless" passage ourselves. Here is another bit fromtheliteraryessayI quotedonpage 58:Integnued into Ihe circulation of national life muchmore complcldy than any othcr modern literature,American belles-lettres also give amuch more faithfuland adequate pictureof the entirecivilizationtowhichthey belong than literature abroad, whose very com-pliance with-or willful opposition to-traditions thathave long lost their anchorage in the depths of theirrespective national civilizations, renders themunable tokeepabreast of therejuvenatedspirit oftheirepoch.Hereisthesamesentencewiththenounsmndeintoverbs:American helles-letlTes circulate in Ihe nalional lifemuchmore thanother modemliteratures do; theypic-ture the entire civilization 10 which they belong moref:lithfully and adequalely. 1be spirit of the times hlUbecomeyoungagAin, andliteraturCJabroadcannot keepabreast withit becauseof certaintradilionstheycomplywithor willfullyoppose. Thesetraditions wereoncean-chored in the depths of their national civilizntions, butbavelost that anchoragelongago.Andnow r expect yOIl togoaheadandpepperyour speechandwritingwithactive verbs. But beforeyoustart usingthisrule of thumb. let mewarnyou. There isoneplnce whereitdoes not work: in wrillen dialogue. You know tbe sonofthingI mean:"Shc is, I think, a lady not known to Monsieur,"murmuredIhevalct ..."Show her OUI bere, Hippolytc." the Comte c o m ~m:mded .."Mydescenl uponyou is unceremonious," she began"Out Ral yourself, I begof you, MademoiRlIe,"criedIheComIc ..."BUl yes,"sheinsiSled ."Cenainlypeopleure wrong," agreed theComte LIVI!. WORDS 63"Perhaps,"hemurmured ."Thejewels!"she breathed Fowler, in his Dictionary0/ ModtrnUsage, saysthat Ihis mannerismwas slarted by George Meredith; wher-ever it comesfrom, it is nowadays anexcellent means totellabadnovel fromagoodone. Apparentlyall bad writers doit and all good writers dont. Look at the fearless way inwhich JohnHerseyrepeatsthe word $oid in ABell/or Adana:Zilosaid: "What is lhisLibertyBem"Major Joppolosaid: "Itis thebell theAmericansrangwhen they declared themselves free fromthe English."ZilOSaid: "Theidea is good. BUI would America bewillingtopartwiththisbell forAdana'?"MajorJoppolosaid: "We wouldhavetoget areplica.ZiIO."Zito said: "Describethis bel!."Major Joppolo said: "WeJl, it hangs in a tower inPhiladelphia. I think .."ImagineIhis withZito venturedandMajor loppoloremt-nisced ...Andnowfor yourEXERCISETranslate the two passages onpage58into plain Englishbymakingasmanywords aspossibleintoactiveworkingverbs.Ortryyourhandat this secondquotefrom"MaryHaworth'sMail":Asnearlyas r canmakeout, Ihisisn caseof deferredadolescence. Mentally you are abreast of your years ormaybeabit beyond. But emotionallyor psychologically,youareslill the fledgling 14 which you assiduously exemplifyinyourchosengarb. Thecommdrumis whetheryour unseasonablegreen-gourdpersonalityis directlyre-lated to organic or glandular subnormality,-which isstayingyour physical development more or less Ilt childlevel,--or whether it is, rather. theoUlpicturingof sub-consciousstubbornreluctance togrowupand thustakelasting leave of the special prerogatives and adulationyoumayhaveenjoyedasaCharmingchildprodigy.Clulptcr SevenCROWDEDWORDSVoltaireonce said: "The adjectiveisthe enemy of thenoun,"Thissentenceisoneofthemost famousepigramsabout lan-guage; manyyoungjournalistshave beenstartedoffwithitandt3ughtto hunt adjectives in their copy.It's agoodrule, but alittleconfusing, Thefact is, gram.rowans stiUcan't a g r ~ onwhat anadjectiveis.Ifyousay,for instance, "Aravishingmathteacher;' some ofthemwilltellyoutbatravishingandmathareadjectives; somewill saythat ravishingis a verb form; some others willinsist that mathisnnoun(iftheyadmit it is awordat all). Thebest thing(orusistoleave grammalical labelsbebindand seewbatthewordsdoinandtoasentence, Then, at once, wesee thatmalh definesteacher, andthat ravishingis acommenl onthemathteacher, Ln other words, therearetwokinds of so-calledadjectives: commentingnnddefining, NowwecanseewhatVoltairo meant: obviously he didn't mean that a definingadjectivcisthe cnemyofthenoun, becauseit rcallybelongstothe noun(What is sheteaching?-Math) in fact it is II. partof the nounand you could just as well writemath-teacher,with8 hyphen.Ontheotherhand, the commenting adjectiveis hostiletoandliterallykills thefollowingnoun: wbat werememberisthat sheisrnvishing, Dot that sheteachesmath.IT we want to "s:1ve" the nounfromthe commenting adjecth'e.we have towrite this descriptionintwosentences: "Sheisrovishing, Sheisteachingmath."Asyousee, thetroublewithcomment-whetheradjective,adverb. or anytbiog else-isthat it raiseshavocwithasen-tencewhereit doesn't belong, Inreallysimple language allsenlences are just subject-predicate sentences: "Man bite dog.""Manshort," "DoglolL"If youmllkeone sentenceout ofthree 8.Ddsticktwocommentsintothefirst simple sentence64CROVfDEO VVORDS 65("Short mAn bite tall dog"), you arc already on your waytowarddifficultyandsophistication. Youforce thereader, orlistener, 10 lakeinthreeideas inoncsentcnccandyoumakeunderstandingjust somuchharder. (James Joyce went evcnfurther andpacked severalideasintooneword, like"brooder-in-low" or "I was just thinkinguponthat.")Soour rulefor plain talkis: Don', trytosave asentencebystickingacomment intoanother. Reason: Twoshort sen-tencesareeasier 10understandthanonelongone, withextrastuffinit.I said in the beginning that newspapermen are nowbeingtaught that adjectives are Bad. The trouble is, theyare alsobeing taught tosavewords andso, aher awhile, theyforgetall aboutadjective buntingandbecome sentencc stuffers. Hereisamildcase:Married, heliveswithhiswifeAndthreesons inNewJersey.What be means is: "He is marriedand ..,"Sometimes the twoidasdon't match:The53-year-oldcornment;ltorlefthighschool tocarrycopyontheBrooklynTimes.Or:Kyser, bespectacled, wasbornthirty-eightyearsagoinRockyMount, N.C.Somewritershabituallyfill their sentencesuptothebrim.Hereisanextract fromabookreviewbyHarrisonSmithintheSalllrdtlyReview (I haveput all the commentsin italics):Thetwosisters, islandaristocrats, whose lijelongfatewas sealedwhenthey sawonemorninginSaint Piureahandsomeboy oj thirteen. whoseja/her, an IIn/idybut aheart-oJ-gold physician, hadillS/ retllmeda witlower tohis nativetown. Margucrite, tileyounger ojtlte sisters, ahappy, bllle-eyed, blomlechild, wins hislovc; Mariannc,dark, passionate, sel/-willed, determinedly molds his lifeuntil heleavestheisland, afierl/enan! in theRoyal Brit-ish Navy, boundJor Ihe Cl,inacoast. Theyoung ladiessit behindandwnit jrigidiyfor over tenyears for wordfromhim. William, inthe meantime, hadbeen luredby66 HowTOWlUTI!, Spnn. ANDTIIlNl: Moall EFFECTIVELYa half-caste girlina Chinese pOrtinto losinghisshipandone morning, penniless, hal/-naked, and drugged, findshimself aboardadippership, bound lorNewZealand,anexile.Sortedout, thisrcads:Marguerite and Marianne were sisters. They wereislandaristOCrlllS. Marguerile waslheyounger;shewasahappy, blueeyed, blonde child. Marianne was dark,passionateandself-willed.One morning, in Saint Pierre, they sawa handsomeboyof thirteen. Hisname WllSWilliamnndhe was Iheson of an unlidy physician with a heart of gold. Hisfather hadjust become II widower and relurned tohisnative town.ThaI moment sealed lhe lifelong fnte of the sisters:Marguerite wonthe boy's love, Mariannemolded hislife.Then, oneday, Williamleft theisland. HehadjoinedtheRoyal BritishNavyand becomea lieutenant. Now hewasboundfor tbeChinacoast ...etc. cle.OrleI'shavc nlook at our friend fromthe lasl chapter,MaryHaworth:Is il fine phl1osophic restraint or isit craven expediencyto 'adtlyanent. as )'ouhavedoneso far, to yourwifc'sollfre performance, when youareconfident it ispartofapallemof' infidelity? If it wereintruththelargereaetionof anoblymagnanimous mind, wouldit beaccompaniedonthe otherhandbyIheprimitivemale-egoistemotionll.1attitude that the marriage is wrecked for you, if she isindulginginapassingfnncy, asyoubelieve?Haveyou fenred sllbconrciollsly to force and fnee nshowdownlest theresultant disseclionofthe marital rela-tionship nnd her possible countcr-eharges confront youwithashrewdandmerciless delineationof yourself asone pallidly devoid of safient "airs of thorough mllS-eulinily?Nearly all lhckey ideas have been put intocommentingadjeclives and adverbs. Here is another, more sophislicated ex-ample(fromafilmreview by JamesAgeeinTheNation):VerybelatcdlyI want tosay thai ''ThcWatchontheCROWDED WORf)'l 67Rhine" seemed much betler on the screen than it did,almost identically, on the stage-though I still wishedHenryJames might havewril/enitj andthar f joinwithanyone whose opinion oLPaul Lukas' performance issuperlnlive. Alsothat asimple-hearted friendliness gen-eratedbetween audience and screen at "This Is theArmy" made that filmhappy to see even when it wmotherwise boring; though I am among an apparentminority which feels that Warner Brothers' cuddly-revercn/(altreatmcnt of President Roosevelt-in"Missionto Moscow," "This Is theArmy," and the forthcoming"Princess O'Rourke"-issubject tocharges certainlyofindecent exposure and, quite possibly, of alienation ofaffection.If youread this without theitalicizedwords, you will seethatit still makes sense;but the real point of [he whole passageis expressedinthose casually tucked-inadjcctivcs likc "simple-hearted" or "cuddly-revcrential." Mindyou, 1don't saythattbis is badwriting; but itisn'tplaintalkeither, bya longshot.Buebowabout descriptions, yousay; How canyoudescribeanything-a city, a landscape-without using descriptivc, com-menting adjectives?How canyou get away fromthe pattern of"the nowery summer meadows, the lush cow-pastures, thc quietlakes andthe singingstreams, the friendly accessiblemoun-tains"? Simple: put yourdescriptioninverbs, inpredicates, indefiningadjectives; don't commeut but describewhathappens;report, don't analyze.Hereis a description ofAmerica(fromII NewYorkTimeseditorial) :It issmall thingsremcmbcrcd, theIittlccornet'll oftholand, thehouses, thepeoplethateachoneloves. Weloveourcountrybecausetherewasalittletreeonahill, andgrass thereon, and a sweet valley below; because thehurdy-gurdy manC:lmealongon asunnymorningin acitystreet; because a beach or a farmor a lane or abousethat might not seemmuchtootherswasonce, foreach of us, mademagic.Itisvoices that arcrememberedonly, no longer hcard. It is parents, friends, the lazychato[strcct andstoreandonice, andthcease ofmindthat makes lifetranquil. ...It is sloriestold. Itisthe Pilgrimsdyingintheir firstdreadful winter. It is the MinuteMan standinghisgroundIlt Concord Bridge, nnd dying there. It is the army in rags,68 HowTOWRrrn, SPIlAK, ANDTmm: MOREEt'l'ElCTlVlU.Ysick, freezing, starvingatValleyForge. It is thewagonsand the menonfoot goingwestwardover CumberlandGap, floatingdownIhe greatrivers, rollingoverthe greatplains. It is the settler hackingfiercelyat the primevalf o r ~ t on hisnew, his ownlands. It is ThoreauatWaldenPond, Lincoln at Cooper Union, and Lee riding bomefromAppomattox.In short, if you wont togivedescriptivedetail Inplainlan-guage, dcscribe what you see, even using adjectives if youmust; but don't stuff your descriptions down the reader'sthroat, whether hewants themor not, byfilling all theoddcornersnndemptyspotsinyoursentenceswithlittledabs ofobservation.Which brings us, of course, to Time magazine. As youknow, the little descriptive adjcctives-"beadY--cyed, thin-lipped"-luethe hallmark ofTime; its editors say that theyhelpthereader get abetterpicture ofwbat'sgoingon intheworld. Well, Ict's have a look:Devinv. DevonErnest Devin, the bull elephant of Dritishlabor, lastweeksal bulkily silent, beadi/ywatch/ill, inthebackrowat acaucusof Parliament'sLaboritemembers. Thepro-posnl: to expel from the Party his homonym-pink,grizzledWelshmall Aneurin Bevon. Thecrime: LaboriteDevan's revoltagainstLabor MinisterDevinin the Houseof Commons.At tbetenseandtrollbledmeeting, AneurinBevanre-fusedtorecant. He argued thnt ifhewerebounced, 15otherLaboriteswhosidedWilh himwould alsohavetogo. All overBritain, hewarned, laborunionswererisingagainst tOllgh, truculctlt ErnieBevin's DefenseRegulationl-AA(fiveyearsinprisonfor strikefomenters).A!i Aneurin Bevan talked, Ernie Bevin restlessly shiftedhis weight, impll1;eatly nung his larm-hardened bandsabout in ge.f/llre.f Ire hadlong IIsed 10 brush aside op-ponents, sOllntJlessly worked hispudgy lips..This is the first part of a storyabout a British antistrikeregulation. But,because of theTimeformula, thereader is al-lowed onlya quickglimpseat thetopicina briefparenthesis.What hereallylearnsfromthisfirst thirdof thestoryisthatDevinandDevanhavesimilarnalnes (thisis madethehead-CROWDEDWORDS 69ing) and thnt Bevin, in contrast to Bevan, is a heavy man(this he getsfromfour commenlS, withslightvariationsuponthe theme, plustwo photographs of DevinandBevantoshowwhat tbeylooklike). What thetrouble isabout, orwhat thearguments are on eachside, he cannoteven guess atthis point.Now, psychologists havefoundthat one of the maintroublesinreadingisthe"overpotcncy" ofccrtainwords. Sinceweal-ways rend a fewwordslit n time, thosethat are specially live or colorful tendtoblotout the others. Theresultis oftenthat weget 11 wrongimpressionor, atlensr, readanemphasisintothetext that isn't there. Soit's quiteobviowthatrendersareapr toleamnlot about thefigures. bands.lips and eyes of worldlenders, but nre liable10 misread or slipwhat these people do,So, for plain talk, here is a special rule about Timestyleadjectives: Don't useuny, Peoplewill get youbetter withoutthem.Andnow, asyour

Rewrite, without commenting words, the rest of the passngeonpage6Snndthepassages onpages 65nnd66.CllaptcrEightTHEGLAMOUROFPUNCTUATIONSome timengo, Sylvin P. Porter, thefinancial reporter. wrotea Reeder's Digest:Lrticle on the income-tax nightmare. Amongotherthings, shesaid. "there's animprovement uponwhichall agree. And that is exilingfromWashington forever thewritersoftheincredible thingcalled income tax prose andmakingit mandatoryfor thenewauthors of taxinstructionsheets touse (I) short words, (2) short sentences. (3) nosemicolons and(4) noparentheses."The first two of these points are fine, of course;but thelasttwo just go to show that theaveragewriter considerspunctua4tionmarks no inventionof the devil that makes everythingmore complex and harder to understand.That'snnoddidea. After all, wbenpeoplestarted writing.they just put one word afterthe other; asfor punctuation, tbereaderwas onhisown. Only latcrwritersmarkedtheircopywithlittledots anddashes andstnrted togive the reader abreak. And now people complain that punctuation makesreadingbarderlIthink the reason must be tbat punctuation.10 most people,is a set of arbitraryandratbersilly rulesyoufindin printers'stylebooksandinthebackpagesof school grammars. Fewpeoplerealizethat it is themost important siogledeviceformaking thingseasier toread.Whenwearetalking.of course, wedon't useanypunctuationmarks. Weuseasystemof sborter or longerpauses~Iweenwords tojoinorseparate our ideas, andweraiseorlower our voices to makethings sound emphatic or ensunl. InOlher words, we make ourselves understood notonly by wordsbutalsobypausesllIldby stress orpitch.Punctuation gets pauses and stress(butnot pitch) down 00paper. Thesystemis simpletoget thehangof:70Normal pauseSnorter pauseLonger pauseNormal stressUnstressedS t r e ~ e dThEGUMOUROPPUNCTUATION 71Be/weenWords Between SentencesWhite space PeriodHyphen Semicolon(or colon)Dash ParagraphNormal type (or writing)Parentheses (or twodashes)Italics (or underlining)Letmee:tplainthislittletable: As longasyouusenormalpauses and normal suess in talking, don't use anything butperiods andcommasinwriting. Whenyou run twoor morewords togetherwithalmost nopausebetweenthem(becauseyou usetheminthatsentence asone word), hyphenate them.Whenyouusca longer pause-Watchout for the next word!-makeadash. Samewithsentences: Whenyouruntwoormore senlences together (because you use a string of sen-tences as one), use a semicolon or, if the fIrst sentence in-troducesthesecond, acolon. Whenyouuscalonger pause-Nowcomes somethingelse!-make a paragraph. And don'tforget to use itulics or parentheses for emphasis or casualmention.Whenyouput plaintalkinwriting, twopunctuationmarksareparticularlyimponant for you; hyphens and semicolons.Thereason)sthis: Thefewer emptywords you uscand themore you rely on wordorder, the moreimportant it isforyoutoshowwhichwords belongcloselytogether; thisyoudobyusinghyphens. Ontheother hand, inplaintalkyouoftenusetwo or morc shon sentences insteadof one longoneand showtheconnectionbysemicolons.Hereisforinstancea collection of hyphenatede:tpressionsfroma colloquial piece onWendell)Villkie:..thisnowyou-see-it-now-you-don't impression noLandon-like also-ran obscurity ... the big-shaggy-bearmanner ... the verbal giveand-takeof alawyer ...pag..sianfor face-to-facedebate ... thehalcyon, high-wide-and-handsomedaysof WallStreet ...afinancial-districtDemocrat ... n Willkie-packedaudience ...Steve Hannaganofbathing-beautyfame. :.tailoringhiswordstohis on-the-spot listeners ...it was a hcads-I-win-tails-you-loseproposition ... hisforty-ninc-dayjunket aroundtheglobe ...slow, unglamorous. personal-conlaet stuff..alwenticth-cenlUryHenryClay .72 HowTOWRIT!!, SPEAK, ANDTmNlC MORE EpPIJC'T'IVeLYAs yousee, hyphens comeinhandywhenyouwant just tohint at a general ideaorquicklydescribeanimpression, HereisagoodexamplefromWestbrook Pegler: , , oneof thoseeontinued-among-the-leather-belting-ads analysesinFortune, , Another fromaHarper'sarticleondeGautle:Churchill apparently succeededinexplainingawaytheno-longer-a-great-power clause in the Smuts speechandat thesametimepersuadingdeGaullethat itwastohisinterest tosuppOTt the bloc-ofWestern-Europe policyitannounced.And, ofcourse, thisjust-to-give-you-the-ideadeviceisaboonfor reviewers. Hereare twoexamples fromDavidLardner'sfilmreviews: , , theoldinvisible-mansetup, . oneofthoselost-patrol affairs. , AndthreefromWolcott Gibbs'stheaterreviews:Mr. Hammersteinisdealinginbasichumor, anexten-sionofthe snowball-and-silk-hat principle. , ,, ..Mr. Hart.putheroismonalheirs-but-to-do-or-diebasis, . .. thereis someconversationof a gallant, rueful, nndwon't-you-sit-downnature ...Thesemicolonalsohasitsspecial uses. Sinceit wiclds s e v ~enl facts inlOa singleevent, it isoneof Ihefavorile loolsofthenews digester. Here is John Lardner writing aboutGeneralMonlgomeryin Newsweek:I sawhiminReggiothefirst dayI spent inItaly;sawhim100 miles up the roadtalkingto troopsin a woodthenext day; andthedayafter that hiscllrSUddenlypulledup 100yardsfrommy; [nIckat apoint 30miles 10Ihecast.Andthis is atypical bitfromTime:Tile GLAMOUR OF PUNCTUATION 73No V-day?Untiewhistles; those boards off the windows;disband tnose put that bOllleof bonbackon theshelf-theremaybenoV-day.SosaidtheWar&NavyDepartmentslast weekinanOWl statement: V-day may be spreadgraduallydaysandweeks. Nogeneral surrender oftheGermanis expected; they may gradually disintegrate and surrenderpiece-meal. And the Allies' policy is not to accept sur-render from any hastily contrived substitute GermanGovernment; the Allies arc not looking for lIny NaziDadoglio;thewar withGermanywill befinallyover onlywhenallGermany hasbeenoccupied, townbytown.Also, semicolons, the short-sentence mortnr, are the trade-mark. of a good popularizer. For instance, Microbe Hunter1byPaul de Kruif literallyteemswithsemicolons. Thisis thepattern:Pasteur sl:uted hunting microbes of disease andpunchedinto a boil onthebackof theneckof oneof hisassistants and grew a germ fromit and was sure itwas thecauseof boils;hehurriedfromtheseexperiments tothehospital to findhis chain microbes inthe bodies of womendyingwithchild-bedfever; fromhereherushedout intothecountrytodiscover-but not toproveit preciscly-that earthworms carry anthrax bacilli {romthe deepburiedcarcassesofcallietolhesurfaceofthefields.... ..timefor thefalal final testdrewncar:the veryairof thelittlelaboratorybeCllmefinicky; thelautwork-erssnappedat eachother across the Bunsenflames .. .. One deadchildafteranotherLoeffierexamined;hepokedintoeverypart of eachpitiful body; hestainedahundred different slices of every organ; he tried-andquicklysucceededin-growingthosequeer barred. bacillipure ... ..Theywent at it frantictosavelives; theygropedat it amongbizarrebutcheringsofcountlessguinea-pigs;intheevenings their laboratories wereshambleslikethebalilefields of old days when soldiers were mangled byspearsandpiercedbyarrows ... ..He shothis mixtureintonewinthree74 HowTOWRITE, SPEAK, ANDTUrNK MOREEPFiOcrIVELYdaystheygrewcold; whenhelaidthemon their backsandpokedthemwithhisfinger tbeydidDot budge.However, not all popularizers agreeonthis point. Oneofthem, Walter B. Pitkin, theauthor of Lite Begins at Forty,alwayswroteextremely short sentences, fromsix to ten words.Sincehedespisedsemicolons, hisstylereadlikethis:In J919 I began to work with sheil-shocked Armyofficers whowere having ntough time returning totheworldofbusiness. Here wnsonewhohadbrokenalmosteveryboneinhis bodyandhadlivedtoresumehisoldjob with hardly any mental upset. Here was anotherwhoseinjuries weretrivial. If hecarriedacanehe couldgetaroundeasily. But heloathedthecane. Heseemedtoregardit asapublic confession of weakness. He wasfor-evertryingtodowithoutit. Worse yet, hestrove towalkwithout alimp. ThestrainwasteITible, Heinsistedthatlifewasemptyforacripple. WithintwOyearshekilledhimself.I reachedtwoconclusions. Manypeoplearcbetteroffwithgrave handicaps than with triflingones. Thegravehandicapreleasescopiousenergies. Thetriflinghandicapseems toslir the person too feebly toopen upthe bigvalvesofnervous andmental power. Then, too, peopleoflcn try to mask lhe pClIy handicap, which leads tofurther complicationof thepersonality,Nowlet'sputinsemicolons;colons, dashes, and paragraphs:In 1919 r began 10 work with shell-shocked Armyofficers whowcre havinga toughtime returning totheworldofbusiness. Herewas onewhohadbrokenalmosteveryboneinhisbodyand hadlived10resume hisoldjoh with hardly any mental upset. Here was anOlherwhoseinjuries weretrivial: ifhecarrieda canehecouldgel aroundeasily. BUI heloathedthecane----heseemedtoregardil asapUblicconfessionofweakness. Hewasforever tryingto dowithoul it; worseyet, hestrove 10walkwithout a limp. Thestrainwas terrible; hcinsistedthat lifewas empty for acripple; within two ycars hekilledhimself.I reachedtwoconclusions:Manypeoplearcbetler olTwithgravehandicaps thanwith trifling ones: lhe grave handicap releases copiousTilE GLAMOUR OF PUNCTUATION 7Senergies, the trifling handicap seems to stirtheperson toofeebly10openupthe bigvalvesof nervousnnd mentalpower,Then, too, people often try to maskthepcttyhandicap,which lends to further complication of thepersonality.Seethedifference?In fact, without colonsand semicolonsnoonecouldimitatespokenlanguagein print. Asnnexample, listentoa littleeyewitness account froma detective story bythe British poct CecilDayLewis (NicholasBlake):"Iknowsmywayabout hereinthedarklike amole.)'d atorch, of course; but Ididn't want to uscitincaseitshould giveaway my position to Iheenemy. Apropernight attack-that's what I wanted to spring on theblighter. See?Well, I cameupstairs quiet. and just as Iroundedthecorner lit theotherendof Ihispassage 1 sawsome one outside the door of Mr. Dunnett's room.There'sahit of light comesinthrough theskylight justabovei not what you'dcall light but not as darkas thestairs: just enoughfor me to see a sonof figure. So Iclicks onmytorch: only, me standingclose against thewall, the movement hit the torchagainstitabout a secondbeforethelight went on: the bUllon'sabit stilT, yousee,Theblighterheard thesoundandit gavehimlimetonipround thecorner and be off; movedlike ableeding streakoflightning, hedid.If YOU'll pardontheexpression, justsawhistail light whiskingolI, asyoumight say. I goesafter him. thinking he'dbeboundtorun out bythefrontentrance, but seems like hedidn't."So, punctuationmarks are handygndgets inwritingplainlanguage. If you wantto, youcan evengofurtherandexplorethe fromiers of punctuation, so to speak: newpunctuationmarksare .always croppingup. Hereisonethat seems tohaveafuture: figures for enumeralion. Of course, figures haveal-waysbeenusedinoutlinesandsoon; but nowadays youcanwatchthembecominga punctuationmarkproper. Timeisaninveterate numberer:Britain's adherence10 unconditionalsurrender is basedon; l) IhedeterminationtoreformandreeducateGer-many; 2) the equal determination to avoid any truckwhatever withHitlerandhisgangi 3) theacceptanceof76 HowTOWRITE, SI'l!AK, ANDTlllmMORn EFFECTIVELYtheargumentthata war between ideas means aEuropeancivil warratherthanonebetweennations, ... . . But theNazisdidhavethesensetoinstall astheirNo. I puppet a Slovakwho commandsa realfollowing: acanny, bullet-headednnlionalist andpriest namedJosephTiso. Withpoliticalcraft andGermanaid, Tisohas: 1)fed his countrymen relatively well; 2) provided statejobs; 3) promoted Slovaks in government service; 4)suppressedpro-Czechs, bydeportingthemor threateningto. ". , CostaRica'sPresidential campaign, sobitler thatit threatened civil war, endedlast week in a comp'arativelypeacefulelection(two werekilledinaninteriorvillage).The winners: I)Teodoro Picado. candidate of incumbentPresident Rafael Calderon Gardia's Republicans andofthe Leftist Vangllardia Popular; 2) Costa Rica, whichkept itsstatus as the onlydemocracyindictator-riddenCeolraJAmerica, , .EXERCISEHere is, without punctuation,apicce fromLeoM. Cherne'sTheRest oj l'our Lile:The United States will not suffer a serious postwar flation because slowness of reconversion unemploymentboth business and public uncertainty will work againstthe dissavings that economists fear so mucb. we wonthave innationbecauseeverythingthatwill happentoyouwill compel you to holdon \0your moneyrather thanspendithereis tI preview of thekindofdenationary velopmentsthat will occur fimofall therewill benation unemployment secondly theres the absoluteeerlainty that take home pay will fall youll hold ontoyoursavingsmuchtighterwhenyour weeklypay velope is thinner nnd thinner it will be because of thereductioninhours lInd overtime thirdYOllre going to waitforpricesto come downwartime conditionsCorcedpricesupyoull besaying10yourselfandyouvewaitedsolongyoucan wait a lillielonger fourth youl! be waiting forthcnewproductsthat youreadaboutandbaventseeninthe shop windows why rushoul and get a radio whenthat swell FMtelevision standardshort waveTlII!. GUMOUROP PUNCTUATION 71tionmaybejust afewmonths awayfifthandmost im-portant theres the basic fae! of what !he war economydidnt dotoyou it didnt tighten your belt too uncom-fortablyandthere will benoreal pressurefor youto slipthestrap out ofthebuckleimmediatelyyouhavent beenstarvedenough sothat youll want torushout madlyandbuyif youhadbeengoingwithout shoes in p:ltcheduppantsinacalionovercoat as our allies have beendoingthencertainlyyoudlet looseinthegreatest buyingspreeof your life but nomailer howlong the W3r lasts youwont be brought todesperationfurthermore however in-sufficient our future production you will go into thestores andshopscertainthat youwill beable toget allyouneedforyour bodyscomfortevenifyoucant get allyou want for your hearts desireno we willnot be exclaim-ing after the war good grief howthe money rolls outpeoplewill not beleUinggoinsteadof aflight fromthedollar we willhave a desperate clingingto the dollar untilemployment begins to pick up again and job tenure beginstolookmorerealLookslike apagefromastream-of-eonseiousness novel thisway, doesn't it?Nowtranslate it intoasanc economic argu-ment bypunctuatingit uptothehilt. Herc are the first fewlines as a starter:TheUnitedStaleswill nOI SliDer a seriouspostwar in-fla/ion because:(1) slownessof reconversion;(2) unemployment;(3) bothbusiness andpublicIInccrlainty-will work ogainst the"dis-savings" thnt economists fearsomuch.We won't have inflation because evaylhinR Ihat willhappen to yall will compel youto hold ontoyOllrmOlleyrather tlian s p ~ n d il.Here is apreviewof the kind of "de-flationary" de-velopmentsthat will occur:First of all, there will be /ermination IInemploy-,nent .Cllrlpter NineCiINSCIENCEBEEXPLAINED?When people talk about something Ihal's difficult to read,theyareapt 10 sayit's"tootechnical."Theordinaryperson,when he gets bogged downin a hook or article, wouldn't thinkof saying, ''The author of this can't write"; he will say, "A laymanlikemewiUneverunderstandthis"lindlet it goat that.Inother words, mostpeoplethinkIhal some subjects arceasyandsome difficultandit hardly matterswhat languageisusedinexplainingthem.I don't agree with those people. The principles of simple Jnn-guagearc just asimportant, ormaybemoreso, inexplaining,say, biochemistry, thanthey are for a news broadcast. Theonly difference is this: When youuse simple hmguageforany-thingthat is notscientificortechnical, youCllnexplainit toanybody; but whenyousimplifyscience, you will find thatonlypart ofit will be understandable 10thelayman, andanother part, however simply stated,will be clear onlytopeoplewho havesome training inthai brnneh of science. Thereisnoscientificdiscoveryor theorythai cannot hepopulariz.ed-uptoapoint; theimportant thingistoknowjust what canbeexplainedtothe ordinary person andwhat cant.Letmeshowyouanexampleof what I mean: Sometimeago International Business Machines Corporation working withDr. HowardS. AikenofHarvardUnive.rsitydevelopedaso-calledmathematical robot, that is, an automatic calculatorthat cansolvetremendous, otherwise insolublemathematicalproblenu. Nowbowcananybodyexplainthisincrediblema-chinetonlaym:m?At first sight, youwouldthinkit'simpos-sible; but thaI isn't so. Infacl, themachine i ~ beingoperatedbylaymen; they get a codebook preparedbya mathematicianandall theyhavetodoistofollowthecodeandpunch. holesina tape. Sotbe opcrazion.'i ofthemnchinecanbeexplained7BCA.N SCIRNCE BEEXt'LAlNl!D? 79very simply; the book probably says something like "Firstpunchbole A6; thenpunch holeC3 t"andso on.But youcan alsogoonestepfurther andexplaintoalay-manwhat mMondDr.Menwere about when they werebuildingthat machine: youcan tell what tbe problemwas,for what purpose the machinewas going to be used, whattheorytheyhadinmindand howthey put it intopractice,andfinallywhat teststheyusedtobe suretheworked. Allthiscan be toldin simple, ordinary language, andif it'sproperlydramatizedandmadeinteresting, it will goalongwaytowardexplainingthemeaningofthisscientific de-velopment: not exactlywhat wasdone, but whyand howitwas done. It willgive the layman an explanation he canunder-stand, andusually that will beall hewants.Thereis, ofcourse, athirdkindof explanation, amathe-matical explanationofthemachinefor mathematicians. This,too, can beput insimple language, that is, short sentences,simplewords andsoon, and that will save mathematicianstimeandeffort inreading their professional journals. But-let's faceit-thelaymanwill ncver understand the formulasandgraphs, Tounderstandexactlywhat IBMandDr. Aikenhavedone, youbavetohaveso-aod-somnnyyearsofhigbermathematics, and tbat'sthat.Or let's take another example that happens to be handy,How canthescientificyardstickformulaofthis bookbeex-plained? The answer is exactly the same. Again, there arethreelevels of explanation, twofor laymen, onefor scientisl5only.First, thereistheoperationoftheformula: that canbeexplainedbythesimple set ofdirectionswhichyouwill findintheback ofthebook. Second, thereisthemeaningoftheformula: toexplainthat propcrly, I would have to gointothehistoryof language simplifying, the relationship betwccnlanguage and understanding, the readability formulas that weredevelopedby otherresearchers, thedifferencesbetweenthoseformulasandthisonc, andso on, ThenI coulddramatizethewhole story andthatwouldprobablygivemost peopleall theexplanationtheywant. However, thereisstill thethirdlevel,that ofthe:icienti/icexplanation; and here I would havetoget into statistical regression formulasnndmultiple corrclationnod whatnot, andnobody who hasn't hada course in statisticswould knowwhat I amtalkingabout.Nowlet's see howthe principles of language simplifyingapplytothesethreetypesof scientificexplanation. First, let'stake alookat the languageof operation sheets, dircctions,shopm:lOuals, popular mechanics. lbeliteraturethattcllshow80 HowTOWkIT1l, SI'I!AX, ANDTIIINKMaRSEpPECTIVELYto do atechnical job. Here is an example Ipickedat randomfromII book onpapermaking::Inthe event of there being morethanone screen serv-ingthe machine (asisusuallythe case) it isnecessarytowatchcarefullytheoperationofthescreens withrefer-encetothe stock suppliedthem, andeachvalve'houldbe opened or closedinproportiontothe capacityofthescreen it is feeding. If there is any difference in the capaci.ties of the screens, it is probably due tothecams ortoe-blocks being worn, or some other thing affecting theoscillation ofthe diaphragm.Nowobviouslythisisnotveryreadable. Dut what aretheobstaclesthereader has to face? Certainlynot thetechnicalterms; in facl, any reader interesledinpapermilking machinesisapttoknowwhat a camor atoe-blockis. and tf not, willhave no trouble finding out. But Ihat technical knowledgewon't make it anyeasier for himtowork his way through"intheevent oftherebeing"or "withreferencetothestocksupplied them" or "in proportiontothecllpacity." The simplefactisthatpeoplewhoknowsomethingaboutcertaintechni-cal operations are usually those least equipped for writingabout themorexplainingwhat theyknowtosomebodyelse.Not solongagoa New York TimaSlory described theexcellent instructionmanualsput out byBell Telephone Lab-oralories for the ArmyandNavy.Letme quote one sentence:"The companyhasdiscoveredthat il is easiertohireaquali-fiededitor andteachhimwhat heneeds to knowabout thetechnical terms involvedthanit wouldbe tolakeII qualifiedengineerandteachhimwhat he wouldneed 10knowabouttheart ofediting ..."Ifthosepnpermakers hadfollowedthe sameprinciple, ourpassage would probablyreadsomewhat likethis:Usually the machineis served by more than one screen.If so, wntch carefully how much stock goesthrough each.Tokeepthefloweven, just openor closethevalves. (Ifyouwant tomakethe screens workevenly, lookfirst forworncamsor toeblocks. Most oftenthnl's what makesthe difference.)In Olher words, allwriting of the operalionsheet type shouldaddress therender directly, andshouldtell himstepbystepwhat to do. It's as simpleasthat. Anybodywhowrites how1o-CANSCIIONCB BE EXPUINED? 81doprose sbouldstart off byreadingagoodcookbook; here,for instance, isamodel paragraphfromFannieFarmer:Apple Pic,Line pie plate withpastry. Pare. core, andcut apples ineighths, put rowaround plate Jh incb fromedge, andworktowMdscenter until plateiscovered; thenpileonremainder. Mix sugar, nutmeg, salt, lemon juice, andgratedrind, andsprinkleover apples. Dot over withbut-ter. Wet edgesofundercrust. cover withupper crust. andpress edgestogether. Prick several places withfork. Bake.Anybody canunderstandthat. andanybodycan understandanykindof technical directions that arewritten inthesamestyle.When we come tothesecondlevelof scientificexplanation,we find, oddlyenough, that thereis alsoonesinglestandardformula. The reason is simple: Since the meaning of anymodern scientificfactcanonly be explainedbythemethodofits discovery, andsincethe scientificmethodistbesameinallbranches of science. any such explanation will be the storyof ascientist. or several scientists, going through the classicfour stnges of modern scientific method: observation, hy-pothesis, deduction, and experimental verification. So thistype of popularization will showhowa scientist got curiousabout certain faclS, thought up a theory to explain them.devisedexperiments10provethe tbeory, nndfinallytested itand found that it worked. If two scientists working on thesameproblemcnn be shown, so much the better: this willmake thereader appreciatenot only tbescientificmethod, butalsothe fnct that modern science is never none-man nffair.Popular science written bythis standard formula is prob-ably the most educationaltype of writingthereis: it'stheonlywayof makinglaymenappreciatescientificmethod. But let'Snot get intothis; let merather showyou nclassic example.This is fromaReader'sDigest article onpenicillin byI. D.RaiCliff:Thestoryofpenicillinbeginsin1929, whenDr. Ale",ander Fleming ...was examining nglass culture platemilky with millions of bacterin. His sharp eye detectedsomething. Therewasn neckofgreenmoldontheplnte,andaroundthis fleckwns ahnlo of cleMIluid. Sometlling82 HowTOWJ.JT'E. Sl'EAC. ANDTruNK MaRl!. E!PPI!.CTlVI!.LYwar dtstroyinCthebacterial Amoldthat haddroppedinfromtheair wascawingtheir suddendeathon anun-precedented scale ..Dr. Fleming fished out the mold but researchonitstoodstill for tenyears....Then thesulfadrugscamealongtoreawnkeninterest inthisfield.The sulfa drugs were amozing perConners againstsomebacterial diseaSC!; sorry failuresagainst others. Somethingbt:tter was needed.... Dr. HowardFlorey ofOxCordre-memberedFleming's work. Thai greenmoldwas poisontobacteriaonculture plales. Might it not alsoworkinthebodiesofmen?Floreyand his colleague! .. deeided toinvestigate.They settoworkat thetedious. taskof growingthegreenmold ineanhen-wnre flasks. When the mold hudgrownintoahard, rubberymllt thechemiststookover.Hiddensomewhereinthemoldwusabacteriakiller.By' a stowprocess of elimination, the cbemists dis-carded chemical components of the mold that had noantibacterial elTeet. Inthe endtheyturned upwith theminutest pinch of ayellow-brown powdery stuff. Thismight be the bacteriamurderer.Thefirst trialsof theyellowpowder wererunintesttubes. ItappearedIhatas linleas one panin160 millionwould slowthe growth of bacteria!. This lookedsplendid. But there was still a big hurdle to overcome. TIlestuff somehow poisoned microbes. Might it not alsopoisonmen?Floreyandhis helpers ...shot huge doses of surestreptococcus. death into SOmice. Then the miceweredividedinto two groups of 2S cacho One group would getnofurtherattention; the other wouldget penicillin.Within 17hoursnil the unprotected mice weredead . Hundreds of other micetrials followed, with similarlyfavorable results.At laslFloreywas ready10 carryhisworkfrommiCeto men..And50on. Thisissciencefor laymen at itsbest, andit',writtenintypical ReDder'sDigest manner, sothat anaveragepersonCllI1 understandit. But I hopeyourealizethat it is apiece of what might be called science appreeilltion, not ofscientific explnnntion. It does not even have the chemicalCANSCIENCEDeEXPLAINED? 81fonnula (orpenicillininit. Inshort, (romascientist's pointof view, it offersnoexplanationat all.Toexplainsciencefully, asIsaidbefore. youwill havetouseathirdlevel ofexplanation, andthisiswherethelaymanwillnever beable tokeepupwith you. Suppose, for instance,youareasked for aneltplanationof what retene is, and !.he5nc)'c1apaedia Britannicagivesyouthefollowingclue:RETENI!, an aromatic hydrocarbon occurring in woodtarsIUld obtainedby distilling resinous woods. Il crystallisesincolourlessplatesmeltingat 98.50Cand boilingat 3940C. Chromic acid oltidises !.he hydrocarbon to retenequinone (an ortlrodiketone) and permanganate oxidisesthe quinone to 1-hydroltyjsopropyldiphenyl-l: I ':2'-tricarboxylic acid. These reactions showthat retene ismethyl-isopropylphenanthrene,ClllHu ,with!.headjacentstructural formula.Plainly, there is no wayof really telling nlayman whatreleneis. Tounderstand it, withor without simplelanguage.youhave 10beachemist, andIhat'sthat.Thereisonlyonebit of advice1 canoffer inthisbusinessofgiving laymen an exact scientific explanation: don't try.It is farbeller to be asfrankas BertrandRussell inhis popularexplanation of the relativity!.hoory, who saysat onepoint: . this part can be expressed by the method of"tensors.';Theimportanceof thismethodcanhardly beexaggerated; it is, however, quile impossible toexplainit in non-mathematical terms.Or, if youarcunfortunateenough tobe assigned tosuchanimpossiblejob, you might add somesort of apology, thewayGaveHambidgedidinlhe 1941 Yearbook 0/ Agricul-ture:.. The editorwouldliketo pointout that to visualizeeventhemore elementaryaspects of atmospheric circula-tionover tbeearthisnot easy,since youhavetoimaginethat youarcamileor lWO upill the air, on yourstomachwith your head toward the North Pole, nclocknearbylyingonits backsoyoucanreadilytell which is clock-wise and whichcounter-clockwise rotation-also a mirrorsoyou canseeboweverythingwouldbereversed ifyou84 HowTOWarm, S p ~ . ANDTnrm: MOREEP'PI!.CllVELYwere in the SoUlhem instead of the Northem Hemisphere,andyouhaveto rememberCOMlantlythat asouthwindisanorthward-movingwind, aneast wind 11 westward-moving wind,and viceversa.Cllapter Ten.Il FORREADABILITYAndnowlei'Sget downtobrasslacks.Supposeyou are facingsomcbread-andbuller writingjob-liketheEmployee ManuIII of the Wondrous Widget Com-pany-and you wllnt 10 apply wbat I'veloldyousofar inthisbook.Here is what you do:First, make sure youknowfor whom youarc writing. Ha.ve8look at your prospective readers. Talkto Ihem. Find outwhat theyknow, what theydon't know, andwhat theywant10 know. Takeyour ownprivate opinionpoll onthe queslionsandanswerstheyhave intheirminds. Usethe results: wrileCor your readersandnobodyelse.Now collect your material. Get allihe informationyou need;pay special attention to lillie tbings that will add color andbumanLook out for humanlouches likethefact thatoldChristopherCrusty, thefounderof thefum, was laidupwithpoisonivywhenthe millionth Wondrous Widget rolledoff the assemblylinc.Then, whenyou haven11 the Sluff you need, SlOpforawhileanddo somethingelsc. Calchup wilhyourorworkonanQ(hernssignmentfor II couple ofdays. Giveyourunconscious achance.When you are ready tostart writing, youwill probably haveat least oneideafor an"angle"or a"piaL" Maybe youcanbuildyourmanual aroundthelifeof MatthewMumble, whobasjust finished his fiflieth year as assislant bookkeeper; oryou can describe the first day at work of BellyBrandnewwhohas just beenhiredasa typisl. Or mnybe that sort of thingdoesn't suit your purposc; but rome kind of bnsic structurewill. Theremust benwayfor youtowritesomethingpeoplearcgoingto read-notjust aheapoffacts.8S86 HowTOWIUTt!, Srux, .umTUINe MORIl EFFECTIVELYOnceyouhavegottenthat far, itwill beeasytofigureoutwhat shouldcome ftrst llnd what last. Don't makethat oldmistakeandstart your EmployeeManual with four pagesonhowthecompanygot off toaslowslart in 1853. Start withsomethinginterestingandpromising; windupwithsomethingthe reader will remember.Asyouwrite, makesurethere's plentyof narrativeandIIgooddeal of dialogue. Thereshould belivepeople inyourbooklet. When youtalkaboutthe company, saywe; when youtalk about theemployee, say YOII. There's noexcusefor theItis-expected-that-Employees-of-the-Company-shaUschool ofmanualwriting.And nowdosomething about your sentences and words.Short sentencesareeasytowrite. Remember that compoundsentences-thosc withandsand buts-arenot sobad; goafterthecomplex sentences. Lookforthe joints wheretheconjunc.!ions arc--il, becallse, 41'. llnd so on-nndsplityoursentencesup. If youfeel thismakesyour styletoochoppy, changethepunctuation. There'salot that canbedone withsemicolons,for instance. "I have raised the semicolon to its zenith,"AlCJl:ander Woollcoll oncewrole. CllnyOll say thesame?Shortwordsarchardertomanage. Again, it'snot thelongwordthat'sthetrouble, but the complexword. Lookout forprefixes andsuflixcs-syl1ableslikepre. re, or de, andality.Ollsness. or ization. Words with these syllablesarc those to splitor replace. Doit consistentlyand you'll besurprisednt theresults.Prohablyit won't beeasy for you to express yourself inshort, simplewords. You:ray themeveryday, but theydon'tcometoyouwhenyousit downtowrite, This is whereyouneedhelp--deviccs, tricks, rules. Herearea few:Firstofall, getyourself a dictionaryof 'simple synonyms. Idon't mean anordinary bookof synonyms, nnd I certainlydon't menDRoget's Thesaurus. (Ifyoupicksynonymsoul ofRogel, youwill poisonyourstyleinnotime.) What I meanis a dictionnrywhere words are explainedbythesimplest pos-sible definitions. Ordinary dictionariesdon'tdothat; the oneIrecommend 10 you is the Thomdike-Barnharl High SchoolDictionary.Let'ssayyouwant touscThorndike10 improve this sen-tence in your manual: "The CompanycncoUnlges the con-tinuededucationofstaffmembersofall rankstosupplementthe practical training and experience acquired duringofficehours."R FOk READARIUTY 87LookupthekeywordsinthissentenceinThorndike. Youwill find: urgecontinue keepupsupplelnent add 10acquire gel orgainNowuse Ihesesimpler wordswith weand)'OU: "Weuraeyoutokeepupyoureducationandaddtothepractical trainingandexperienceyougetduringofficehours."Thisgives youa fair idea what Thorndike will dotoimprove your style.But youdon't even have to use Thorndike to find simplDsynonyms. I shallgiveyou11 sort of miniatureThorndike rightberellndnow.Mysimplewordfindercomesinthreeparts-threelistsofwords. Ifyouuse these three lists conscientiously and fully,your slylewill soonlose itsheaviness andbegintolooklikethegirl in aSuccess School advertisement otter.Thefirst list consists of"empty words." Thesearcpanicles-prepositions.conjunctions. adverbs. elc.-thalbelongtotheSlnlcture of the language. When you remember that tbesewordsmakeup more than 50per cent of all the words youusc, youwill understandthat it makes atremendous differencewhether they aresimpleor elaborate. Followtherulethat ingeneral one"empty"word is better thantwo or three. and ashanoneisbellerthanalongone.Ifyoucanget ridofthe"empty"wordaltogether, somuchthebetter, of course. Hereis myJist:Too bell\-")' prepositions and conjunctionsolongthe lines 0/: likeasto: about (or leaveout)lorpurpose0/: forlorretuon 11101: since, becausefromtilepoint ofview0/:forinasmuchas: since, becausein favor of: for, toin ordu to: 10inaccordancew;t": by, underinthe case0/: ifintlteevenl tltal: ifint"eflalUre0/:likein'''eneighborhood0/: about88 HowTOWRITE, SPEAJ:, A!'o1) nlfmc MaRl! EFFECTIVELYin terms of: in, for(or leaveout)onIhebasisof:byontilegrollndsIhat:since, becauseprior to: beforewithaview/0:towith reference to: about (or leaveout)wilhregard/0: about (orleaveout)withIherCJ1I11 thai: SOthatToo heavyconnectivesaccordingly: socOlIScqllently:50forthis reason: sofurthermore: thenhence: soinaddition: besides,alsoindeed: infactlikewise:and, alsomort! specifically: forinstance,forexamplemoreover: now, nextnevertheless: but, howeverthat is10 :ray: inotherwordsthllS: sotobeSlIre: of courseAnd here are three more words that are almost alwayss u p e r ~fluous:concernedillvolvedrespectively(Example; "Theemployees concerned should consult thesupervisorsinvolved, respectively.")My second list consists oC auxiliary verbs. Thisone works onthe principlethat themorenaturnlllndidiomatic EnglishgelS,the more it expresses ideas by auxiliary verbs, Take, for instance, thispassagefromanemployeemanual: "Withaview10 broadening the indh'iduar5 training and increasing hisknowledge of the Company's organization, operations andservice, membersof lhestall areselectedperiodicallyfor ad-vancedtraining. Theselrainingprogramsarcdesignedtogivethe individual anopportunity, . ," etc. What youwouldsay~ something like this: "We'd like to help )'011 add to yourB FOIt RUDJr.DIU1Y 89training and get to know the company better ... Our advancedtrainingprogramsare meant 10 giveyouIhe opportunity ..."etc. Soyouseethat ordinarilyyouusea10lof suchwordsaslike10, Bet 10, and m ~ a n 10. Hereismylist:aim10b ~ apt tobeboundtobeknown10besupposedtocare10claim/0gel to (got to)happen10hate10havetohelp --ingkup --ingliketomean tomind-ingpfantoseem10SlOP --ingIISt(d) towant 10Mythirdlist isthe longest. Maybeitneedsa little explana-tion. It'salist of simple verbsthaI describemovemen\Sof thehumanhody, witha lislof adverbsthat cnnbecombinedwiththem. Verb-adverbcombinations are aspecillityof the Eng-lishlanguage; it's whnt thelanguage naturally uses when itneedsanewe:tpressionforanewidea. Thinkof thewar andof breaklhroughs, blackouts and pinup girls. Or think ofsportsandofline,"p, strike-out, andlouchdown. Or thinkoftryout andstandin, walk-on and close.up, checkoDand S;I-down.Of course all kindsof verbs canbe combincd withall kindsofadverbs, but most important areagroupofshort Anglo-Saxonverbs thaI deal with movements of Ihe humanbody.Theyllt"ethemOSt idiomalicwordsinthelanguage; Ibereisatheory that they are also the oldest-those all others stemfrom. \Vhetber that'strue ornol, thefact remainsthat prac-tically all abstraci ideas can be expressed by one of theseverbs, either by itself or combined withanadverb. Translatingbigh-soundingabstractions intosuch words asset upor 1011throughisafascinatinggame.Mylist conHlinsfiftyverbsandtwentyadverbs. Not everyverbcanbecombinedwitheveryadverb, orcoursc;but whatwith different meanings in different contexts, the lisl coversabout a thousand abstract ideas. So it really is a miniatureThorndikedictionlit)'.90 HowTOWRITE,SPEAK, ~ N D TIIlNKMORI! EpPECTNELYVerbs AdverbsbearCOslip ahom forthblowllimg split across illbreakholdstand aheadoUbringkeepslay along 00callloySlick opuff 0111carry'"slfike around over, ~ ,look takeasidethroughcalchmaketalk away logethercome picktetlf hack IInder'a'pull throw down opdoPllSh liedrawpmtouclldriverllnflITndrop'"walkfail shakewearC"showworkgiveskipThis list will nOI onlymake your words s'impler but willforce you tostreamline your senlences loa. You'll learntorelyonverbs rather thannouns and adjectives. Psychologistshaveusedthenlliobetweenadjectivesnndverbsfor years10measure the forcefulness of writing; writingICllchers have beenpreaching thegospel of thc active verbever since anybodycanremember.Themaintrouble withmost current writingis thai it con-sistsof nothingbut nounsandadjectives, gluedtogetherwithprepositions or withis, was, are, and were. Here are a fewrandomexamples:Ahistorian: "His[CharlesA. Beard's)atlackontheconse-quences of interventionis notaccompaniedbyanydemonstra-tionof thefeasibilityofisolation."Aneconomist: "Aproblemwhichhasdeadlockedtopcor-porate and union officials with no prospect of satisfactorysolution is the determination of the appropriate subjects forcollectivebargainingandthedefinition of spheresof authoritywhich are of sole concern to management. Rulings of theNational Labor Relations Board have not been helpful indrawing alineof demarcation between those matters whichare bargainableand thosewhichremainthesolefunctionofman:lgement."AnEnglishteacher: "Marcel Proust's vividdescriptionofnFOR READADrLITY 91the longtrainofrecollectionsinvokedbythetasteandsmellof a little cake dipped in tea, in Remembrance of TlIingsParI, istheultimate expressionofthe tremendously importantroleplayedby associative processes arising fromre-experienc-ing asensory impressionwhichwasoriginally associatedwitha powerful emotion."A biologist: "Modem taxonomy is the product of increasingaWllJ'eness amongbiologistsoftheuniqueness of individuals,and the wide range of variation which may occur in anypopulationof individuals. The taxonomist is, therefore, pri.marilyconcerned withthemeasurement of variationin serie!of individuals which stand asrepresentatives ofthespeciesinwhichheis interested."(This last exampleistakenfromthe Kinseyreport SexualBehavior inIheHumanMale-whichseemstoprovethat itwasn't exactly readability thatmadeit abest-seller.)Nowletmedoa littletranslating with myverbadverblist:"He lakes asland against intervention and what il bringsabout, butbe doesn't show bow wecouldhave gal alongwilhisolation."-"Management andlaborhave beentrying tosetdownrules for what shouldbeworkedOUI bycollectivebar-gainingandwhat shouldslayundertheauthority ofmanage-ment alone. But they aredeadlocked and it doesn't lookas if areal solutionisgoingtoturnliP soon..."etc.H sohappens that these four passages alsocontain excellentexamples on twoother points. One is the question of theprepositionat theendofthesentence. Take"thespeciesinwhichheisinterested."People don't talkthat way. Theysay"the species he's interested in." Putting prepositions at theend of sentencesis one ofthe thingsthatwill unfailinglyturnstiff prose into idiomatic English.Thepreposition at theendis one of thegloriesof Englishprose. Originally itwasattackedby grammariansfor thesillyreasonthat preposifio, in Latin,means something that "comesbefore"; andwhenpeoplerealizedthat Latinrules don't always work in English. they defended the oldrule for theeqUally silly reasonthat a preposition gets too muchemphasi5attbe end of a sentence. Thetruthis, of course,that theEng-lishlanguageis capableof fusingaprepositionandanotherwordtogetherwhenevertheyarccloselyjoined bythemean-ingof thesentence. Thewordin, inthe sentence[romtbeKinseyreport, maybegrammaticallypart of thephrase inwhich, but for the speaker of thesentence it is part of theexpressioninterestedin.Which is why the President of the National Council of92 HowTOWIlI11!t SPEAK, M1l TulNX MORBEpPI!CTfVIlU'Teachers of Englishrecently called a"a good wordtoend a sentence wilh" and why Winston ChurchiJI, whensuch an "error"waspoinledout tohim, answered: 'Thisisthe Iype of arrant pedllnllY. up wi!b which 1shallnot pUL"Andwhat would Englishprose be without senlences like Hewasanexecutive whoknewwhal he war talkingabout. Hecouldtllusbe arguedwith, not mutleredat or The averageAmericanhar afixedideathat liverandironaresubstancuheought tobe gettingmoreof?ThefOUf passages onpages90, 91, arealsogoodell:amplesfor Ihe difference belween thaI tlOd which. There are eightwlllchn in Ihose senlences-all of themmisused. In good,idiomaticEnglishitshouldbeAproblemthat has deadlockedandspheres0/ authority rlwt oreand those matUrs that areandthosetllat remainandasensoryimpression tll"ot wasandIhe wide ranee 0/ wJriation tltal may and individuals thatslnndand, ofcourse, thespecies heisinterestedin. Theruleis this: Whichshould be usedin a "nonrestriclive" clause tbatcould, without damage, be lefl OUI orpUI between p3fcmheses;whenever you can't do that, !be clauseis.. aodyoushouldusethat.Nowyou will saythat after ridiculingother grammaticalrules I suddenly turn into a stickler for tbe that-andwhichrule. But wait aminute. That'sexactlytbemistakethe"pro-gressive" gnunmari4tUare mmng. They see th:n which isused insteadoflhat all over theplaceand sotheyproclaimthai the ruleshould be thrown into lhe ashcan with all theother outmoded rules.DUIthe situationhereIs quite different. Thisisn't a cllseof ngrass roots movement agllinst nstrict grammlllical rule. It'sexactlytheotherwayround. Thenatural idiomistousetllalfor "restrictive"clauses; il always has beenandstill is. Theuseof which insteadof that has beendragged into the lan-gullgebythewriters, Iheliterati, lbeclerks.in hisEssentials0/ EnglishGrammar, says: "Which, .. has beengaininggroundat theexpenseof that, chieflyinlbe IllSt fewcenturiesandin themon: pretentiouskindsofliterature. QDeofthe reasonsfor thispreferencewas prob:ably th:at [which]reminded classical scholars of thecorresponding Latin pro-noun. WhenAddisoninthe Spectator complainsoftheinjurydonerecently10 ..whichbythe'Jacksprat' lhat, he turnsall historical truthtopsy-lurvy, for lllat wasre:allythefavoriterelativeword in literature fromthe MiddleAges on; but indeferencetohis erroneousviewof thehistorical developmentR FOR READABIUTY 93hecorrectedmanya natural rhat into II less natural which,whenheeditedthe Spectator in book-form."WhenI readthis, I naturallylookedtbematter upinAd-dison. Sureenough, Jespersenwas right: theoriginal versionssound morenaturalin everysinglecase. Hereis one example:A screeeh-owl at midnighthasnlllrmedafllmilymorethan D. bandof robbers; nay, thevoiceof n cricket hathstruck morelerror than the roaringof alion. Thereisnothingsoinconsiderable that maynot appear dreadfultoanimaginationthat isfilled withomensandprognos-tics.That's thewayit originallyappearedintheSpectator: inthebook edition Addison left it imagination that is filled butchangedit to tzothil11: so inconsiderable. whichmaynot appeardread/ufo Heshouldn't have; the sentence was perfect as itstood.Addison, however, WliS anexception. Usuallywriters. liketheauthors of thefour examples J quoted, pepper their sen-tences with unnatural whiehes rightfromthestart. Whentheydofindout about thedistinction. it isoften areal revelationto themand they tum into determined wllieh-hunters andthat-fans. WilsonFollelt,forinstance, who once rana columnon'1be Stateo[ the Language" in the Atlantic. wrote thathewas a which-writer until lale in life, when he was "con-verted"and"sawIhelight." AndH. W. Fowler tells us thatLord Morley, when he prepared a revisededition of his works,"was particularlykeenon having the word which, whereverthere was the possibility, exchanged for that . ,"After readingall this, youwill sturtwllicll-lmntingyourself,I hope. You willfindita pleasant andrewardingindoorsport.Chapter ElevenDEGREESOFPLAINTALKPopularizalionis ... myslerious business.InNovember, 1941, theJOllrnal 0/ theAmericanMedicalAssocIallon printed apaper by Drs. Rovenstine ond Wertheim,inwhich the aUlhors reported ona newkind of anesthesiacalled "therapeuticnerveblock."Thiswasobviouslyofinter-est todoctors, but nobodybotheredtotell thegeneral publicaboutiLThenerveblockwas not thenconsiderednews.Six years later, thepopular magazines broke outintn a rashof nerve-block articles. On October 25, 1947, Tire New Yorkerbeganathree-panprofileof Dr. Rovenstine; twodays later,LI/epublished a four-pagepicture-sloryof his work. Othermagazines followed. Suddenly, the nerve block bad becomesomethingeverybodyougbt toknowabout.I cameacrossthis mysterywhenI waslookingfor agoodexampleof what populariUltion does to language and style.The nerveblock articles Bre perfect specimens. On its wayfromtheA.M.A. JOllrtlnlto Li/elind The NewYorker, thencwmethod of anesthesia underwent a completechangeofcoloring, lone, andstyle. Astudyof Ihethreellrticles is acomplctecourseinreadabilitybyitself.Onthefollowingpages are excerpts[romthethreearticles.Nothinghasbeen changed:butto show clearlythe differencesin sentence length, I have put I between thesentences,andtoshowthedifferences inhumaninterest, I have put the ' ~ r .sonal words" (see page ]O]) in boldface and the "personalsentences" (seep. ]04, 30S) initalics. (You will notice. thedifference in word length without my pointingit up.)This is the beginning of "Therapeutic Nerve Block" byE. A. Rovenstine, M.D., andH.M.Wertheim, M.D. (Journal01theAmtricanMedical Assocja/Ion, vol. 117, no. 19, Nov.8,1941):94DECiRl!ESOFPUtN TAU 95"Therapeutic nerve block" is but one of the manyramifications of regional analgesia.! The hisloryof theintroductionanddevelopment ofperineural injectionsofanalgesic and neurolyticagents fortherapy coincides withthat of similartypesof injectionstocontrol thepainas-sociatedwithsurgical procedures.! Theuse of surgicalanalgesic nerve blocks has eclipsedby far similar pro-cedures employedtocureor alleviatepainor symptomsresultingfromdiseaseor injury .. JThe paper ends asfollows:The moslinteresting and probably more promising nndfruitful results fromtherapeutic nerve blockingare thetechnics for interrupting sympathetic pathways withanalgesic or neurolytic solutions.! This reeeot practicehas alreadygainedwideapplicationandproducedmanyfa.vorable reports.! Acomparison of the value of thechemical destruction of sympatheticpathways or surgicalsectioncannot bemadenccuratelywith present knowl-edge andexperience, but there are indications tbat formany conditions theformer aretobepreferred.!Interruption of the sympatheticpathways al the stellateganglionis used10cure hyperhidrosis of Iheupper ex-tremity.! Iti5useful 10relievesympathalgiaofthefaceand causalgia.!It has been employed successfully to treatposHraumatiespreadingneuralgia, thepainofamputa-tionstumps andvasomotor disturbances.! Thetreatmentofanginapectoris after medical remedieshavefailed 10relieve painisnow concededtoinclude alcoholinjectionsof theupper thoracicsympatheticganglions.! Thesameprocedurehasbeeneffectiveincontrollingor alleviatingthedistressingpain fromananeurysmoCthearch orthedescending aona.!Interruption of the tmbar sympathetic pathways isin-dicatedCor conditionsinthelowerextremitiessimilartothoseenumeratedfortheupperextremities.! Thisthera-peutic nerve hlock has been employed also to treatthrombophlebitis of the lower extremity.! The resultsfromthese injections have been dramaticand largely suc-cessrulJ Not onlyis the painrelievedimmedialely butthe whole procCS! subsides promptly.! This remedyrepre-sents somuchof animprovement over previous thera-peutic efJons that il sbould be used whenever theconditiondevelops.!96 HowTOWRI'I'E, SPEAK. ANDTlIINK: MOREEFFEcnv.ELYIn Life (October 27, 1947) the article about the nerveblockcarriedtheheadingPAIN-CONTROL CLINICNew York doctors ense suDering byblocking00 nerves wi/h drugs.Eightpictureswereaccompaniedbythefollowing text:Except in thefieldof surgery, control of pain is stillverymuchintheprimitivestages.! Countless thousandsof patientssufTerthe tortures ofcancer, angina pectorisandother distressingdiseaseswhile their physicians arcbelpless to relieve tJlem.! Abig step toward help forthese sufferers is now being made with a treatmentknown as nerve-blocking.! This treatment, which con-sists of putting a "block" between the source of painandthe brain, is not anewtherapy.! But its potentiali-tiesarejust nowbeingrealized.! Usingbetterdrugsandawiderknowledgeofthe mechanicsofpain gaineddur-ing and since the war, Doctors E. A. Rovenstine andE. M. Papller of the NewYork University College ofMedicine hnve been able to helptwo-thirds of thepatientsacceptedfor treatment intJleir"painclinic"al BellevueHospital.!The nerve-block treatment is comparatively simpleand doesnot have serious aftereffects.! It merely involvestheinjectiono[nnanestheticdruglllongthepatho[ thenerve carrying pain impUlses fromthe diseased or in-juredtissue tothe bmin'! Although its action issimilartothai ofspinal ane'sthesiausedinsurgery, nerveblockgenerallylastsmuchlonger andisonlyoccllsionally usedfor operations.! The N.Y.V. doctors have found it erfective in II wide range of diseases, including anginapectoris, sciatica, shingles, neuralgia llndsomeforms orcancer.! Relief is not alwayspermanent, but usuallytheinjection canberepeated.! Some anginapectorispatientshavehadrelief for periodsranging fromsix months totwo years.! While recognizing Ihat nerve block is nopaDllcea, the doctors feel that results obtained in caseslike thatof MikeOBlrQich(next page) willmeana muchwider application inthe near future.!DEGREESOFPU,rNT.... u: 97TheNewYorker (October 25, 1947) inits profileofDr.Rovcnstinedescribesthenerve block like this:....Recently, he [Rovenstine} devoted a fewmin-utes torelievinga free patient inDellevueof a paininanarmtbat hadbeencut off several yearsbefore.! Thevictimof thisphantompainsaidthat tbetendons achedandthat hi, fingerswereclenchedsobardbecouldfcelhi. nails digging into hie palm.! Dr. Rovemtine'. a,s..sistant, Dr. E. M. Pllpper. reminded Rovenstine that abundredandfiftyyearsagothecurewouldhavebeentodigupthemao'l:um, if itsburial placewasknown, andstraighten out tbe hand.! Rovenltine smiled.! "/ tellyou," he said.! "We'll use a two-per-t;cnt solution 01p r o c a i ~ , andif it works, inacouple0/wukswe'Ugoon withanalcohol solution.! Procaine, youknow, lastsa couple 0/ weeks, alcollol six months or 10llger.! Inmosl cases01 Ihissorr, [ lisetilenerveblockoriginatedbyLabal around1910 andimproved oninNewOrleansabout tenyeanback, plusone or twoimprovisations0/myown.'" (Nerveblockingisamethod ofanesthetizinganervethai is transmiuingpain.) Rovenstinedoes littleanesthetizing himedf these days, except when be isdemonstrating hiBmethods at hie lectures.! He carriesonlya small practice outsideBellevue.! Ifbeiscalledinonroutine cases, beasksextremelyhighfees.! He pro-ceedsontheprinciplethat a personwhowanls bimtobandlea routineoperationought topaywell for bim.!Ifhe is askedtoapplyhiBspecialized knowledge toanunwual case, lie doesn't care what the fee is.! Like agreat manyother doctors, he feels that onlymillionairesandindigenlsget decent medical care.! Peopleof thesetwoclassesareIheonlyoneswhofeel that theycancallontbeleadingsurgeonsandRovenetine.The monwiththepain in Ihe non-existcnt handwasan indigent, andRoven&linewasworkingbeforealargegallery of student anesthetists and visilors whenbe ex-orcised lhe ghoststhat werepaining him.! Some of thespectators, though they felt awed, also felt inclined togiggle.! Eventrainedanesthetistssometimesgel intothisstate during nerve-block demonstrations because of thetensenesssuchfeats of magic induce inthem.! Thepa-FromanBrticleby MarkMurphyinThe NewYorlur. Copyriahl1941ThBNewYorker Mll.8wneInc.98 HowTOWJ.JTE. SPEAI, ANDTnn.'l: MoRS. EFFECTMU.Ytient. thin, starknalced, andanobvious product ofpov-ertyandcheapginmills, WIl5 DervOUSandratherapolo-getic wbenbe WIl5 brought intotheoperating: theatre.!He lay face downon the operating table.! R017enstinllhas an easy manner wilhpatlent$, and (U his thick, $tubbyhands roamed over the man's back, he gently asked,"HowyoudoinlJ?"/ "Myhand, it u0/1dosedtogetller,Doc," Ihe man arr.rwered, $tarzledand evidently a littleploud01theattentionheWtu senins./ "You'UbeO.K,soon," RoveTUtine $oid. and lurned 10 the audience.!"One 01mygreotest contributions tomedicoi $ciencehas been the use 01'he ~ e b r o w pencil," he$Qid./ Betookonefoomthepocket of bit whitesmockandmadea series of marks onthe patient'S back, Dearthe shoulderof the o.mputated o.rm, so Ihal thespectators could seeexactly where he was going to work.! With a syringeandneedleberaisedfour smo.lI wealsontheman'Rbackandthenshovedlongneedlesinlotheweals.! Themanshuddered but said be fclt no pain:/ RovenBtinc thenattached asyringe 10the first needle, injected the pro--cainesolution, unfastenedthesyringe, attachedit tothenext needle, injectedmoreof thesolution, and soon.!The patient'sfacebegantorelillt alittle'! "Lord, Doc."he said. "My hand is loosenins up abit already."/ "You'llbe all rishl by tonisht, JtlJink," Rovelutinc said.! HowaTUlNK MORE EFFECTIVELYthat you are going to write it all over 3gain. Pretendthat whalyouwrileis justllnote, 11 fragment, anOibing.Only getstarted.Thisis rehu:ed "'riling. Look :tr thewonderfulllrtistry wilh whichLeacockproducesthe quol:trion "He wrotea fine History of Greece theother day." There it is, in themiddleof apar:lgCllph, havingjust popped out of nowhereinto StephenLeacock'smindand llsed immediately to brightenthe whole page. Imagine yourself trying to "work in" suchan anecdote. You would take three paragraphs for it, awk-wardlybeginningwith"Thisremindsme of .. :' :mdwindingupwith alame"Thus wesee...."Or look at Ihecontent of these three parngrnphs. If youSlOp to analyze it, Leacock was actunlly sidctracked. Hestartedtogive advice on howto begin, then got off on a tangentabout his academic frienth who drenmed of vast scholarlyprojects. and thcn had 10 backtrack tohis originnl subject.But does it mailer?That's Iheway theoldmanwould hnveexplained the business 10an amateur writer whohad cometo seehim, andhisramblingthreeparagraphsonhow10 startapiece of writing arc still meatier and more valuable thananythingtenlimesascompact that youwould findinatext-book.For still another example, here is seventy-three-yenr-oldMark Twnin. writing, writing, wriling, fillinghis autobiographywith whatever happcn5 to interest him. One part of it iscalled"IsShakespcnre Dead?" and deals with the perennialquestionofwhowrote the plays. MarkTwain wasconvincedthntdid nOl. Here is one chapter of his argu-ment. (Thiswill bethelongest quotntionin Ihis book, but Ifeel it'sworthwhiletogiveyouafewpagesof MarkTwain.Tolearnthe an of leisurelywriting, you oughl 10do. someleisurelyreading.)When Shakespe:tre died. in 1616, gTCal lilerary pro-ductionsanribuled10 himasauthorhadbeenbeforeIhelondonworld and in high favor for twenty-four years.Yet his death was nOI an evenl. It made nostir, it at-tracted no anemion. Apparently his eminent literarycontemporariesdidnOI realizethaia celebr, SPEAK, ANDTJllNICMORI! EFFI!CTIVI!tylife in thevillage where hewas bornand renred, Wll!lable to slip out of this world and leave that villngevoiceless and gossipless behind him-utterly voiceless,utterlygossipless? And permanently so1 I don't believeit has happened inanycaseexcept Shakespeare's. Andcouldn't and wouldn't have happenedinhis case if hehadbeenregardedasa celebrity at the time ofhisdeath.WhenI examinemy own case-but letus do that, andseeif it will not be recogniznbleasexhibitingaconditionoftbingsquite likely10 result, most likelytoresult,indeedsubstantiallysuretoresult inthecaseofacele--hratedperson, a benefactor ofthe humanrace. Like me.My parents brought me to the village of Hannibal,Missouri, on the banks of theMississippi, whenI wastwoandahalfyears old. I enteredschool at fiveyearsof age, anddriftedfromonescbool toanother in thevillage during nine and a half years. Then my fatherdied, leaving his family in exccedingly straitenedcumstances; whereforc my book-cducation came to /lstandstill forever, and I became a printer's npprenticc,onboardandclothes, andwhcntheclothesfniledIgotahymn-bookinplaceofthem. This for summer wear,probably. I lived inHannibal fifteen and nhalf years,nllogether, thenran away, accordingtothe customofpersonswhoarcintendingtobccomccelebrated. [neverlivedthcre afterward.Four yearslatcr 1 became a"cub"on a Mississippi steamboat in the St. Louis and NewOrleanstrade, nndafterayearandahalfofbardstudyandhardworkthe U.S. inspectors rigorouslyexaminedme through a couple oflongsiltings anddecidedthatI kneweveryinchofthe Mississippi-thincenhundredmiles-in the darkandin theday-aswell as a babyknows the way to its molber's paps dayor night. Sotheyliccnsedmeasapilot-knightedme, so10 speak-and I rose up clothed with authority, a responsibleservant oftheUnitedStates Government.Now then. Shakespeare died young-he was only fi{ty-tv.'o. Hehadlivedinhisnalivevillagetwenty-sixyears,oraboul that. Hediedcelebrated(ifyoubelievethingyoureadinlhebooks).Yet whcnhediednobodythereorelsewheretookany notice of it; and{or sixtyyears afterwardno townsmanremembered tosaythingabouthimor aboutbislifein Stratford. Whentheinquirercameat last hegot but onefact-no, Icgend-nndgOlthat one at secondhand, {roma person whobadHowTOBE. AF1.UI!NTWI\ITEJl 131onlyheardit as arumor anddido't claimcopyright init as a productionof his own. He couldnt, very well,foritsd:1teantedatedhisownbirth-date. But necessarilya number of persons were stiUalive in Stratford who,inthedaysof their youth, hadseenShakespearenearlyevery day in the laslfiveyears ofbi, life, andthey wouldhavebeen able10 tell thatinquirer somefirsthandthingsabout bim ifbehadinthD5Clast years becnacelcbrityand apersonof interest 10the villagers. Whydidnot theinquirer hunt themupand interviewIhem?Wasn't it worth while? Wasn't the matter of sufficientconsequence?Had the inquirer anengagement toseeadog-fight andcouldn't spare the time?It all seems tomean tbat he never had any literarycelebrity, thereorelsewhere, andnoconsiderablereputeasactoror manager.Now then, Iamawayalongin !ife-myseventy.thirdycar being already well behindme-yet of m}'Hannibal schoolmatesare still aliveloday, and can tell-anddo tell-inquirersdozensanddozensofincidentsoftheir young lives and mine together; things thai hap-penedtousinthemorning of life, intheblossomofouryouth, inthegooddays, thedenr day" "thedays whenwe wenl gypsying, a long time ago," Most of themcreditable to me, too. OnechildtowhomI paidcounwhen she was five years old and I eight still lives inHannibal, andshevisitedmelast summer, traversingthenecessarytenor twelve hundred miles of railroadwith-out damage to her patience or 10 her old-young vigor,Anotherlittle lnssieto whom IpaidlluentioninHannibalwhenshewasnineyearsoldandIthe same, isstillalive-inLondon-andhale and hearty, just as I am. Andon thefewsurvivingstearnboats--thoselingeringghostsandremembrancers of greatfleetsthnt pliedthehig riverin Ihe beginning of my water-eareer-which is exactlyas long ago as the whole invoice of the life-years ofShakespeare numbers-there are still findahle two orthree river-pilots who sawme do credilable things inthoseancient days; and several white-headed engineers;and several roustabouts and mates; nnd several deckhands wboused to heave thelead for me andsend upon thestill nigbt air the "Six-feet--scQntl" that mademe shudder, aod the "Ma-r-k-twainl'" Ihal took theshudderaway, andpresentlythedarling"Bythed-e-e-p-Iourt" that lifted me 10 heaven lor joy. They know138 HowTOWRIT!!, SPEAK, ANDTUINKMaRl! EfFECTlVELYabout me,and can tell. And so do printers. from St. Louisto New York; and so do newspaper reporters, fromNevada to San Francisco. And so do the police. IfShakespeare had really been celebrated, like me, Stratfordcouldhavetoldthings about him; andifmyexperiencegoesforanything. they'dhave done it.Isn't this beautiful?Doyouunderstand nowwhyI calledit a prose masterpiece?Didyounoticehowtheoldmangoesonat his ownmeasuredpace, slowlysettingforth his argument, seeminglywanderingfromthepoint,rambling, digress.ing, reminiscing. andyetnailingdownhisargument sothatitbecomes enormouslypowerful?Whenhe is through buildingup his case, he simply stops and starts 11 newparagraph.Instead of worrying about a smooth, elegant transition, hesimply says: "Nowthen."Later,he hastostart llDother paragraph, containingtheclimaxof his argumelll, andagain hesays: "Nowthen." That's all; but the reader is right therewithhint, taking ineverywordthatisthere, listeningto whattheoldmanbastosay, and-perhaps-gettingconvinced.Nowthen(toborrow a phrase). What Itriedtoshowyouwith theseexamples is the essenceof the natural. "spoken"style ofwriting, thekindthat is producedbysimplytalkingto your reader across thesheet of paper between you-talkingslowly, leisurely, butwithoutawkwardsilences, withoutgoingback to reformulllte II sentence, without ever losing touchwiththe readerat the other end oftheline of communication.This is thekindofwritingyouhavetolearn, andyoucan'tlearnit as longasyOll a ~ shy, nervous, inhibited. afraidofputtingyour ideas onpaper.Soyou'll have topractice. Youcanovercome these inhibitionsofyoursonlybypracticein writing, just as youcanlearnpublic speakingonlybypracticeinspeaking. Theexer-cise that followsis therefore abso/luely essential if youwanttoget full valueout ofthis book. -EXERCISEThis exercisewill betheframeworkfor thenext exercisesinthisbook.During theperiodof one month (two months would beevenbetter) write adaily SOD-word letter toaclosefriendor relative. Pick someone wholives ata distance andis willingto help you improve your writing-your mother, brother,HowTOBE AFLUENT WRITER 139aunt, ex-roommate, or whoever else is the most obviouschoice. Write to that personand tell himor her about thisdaily-letter plan. so that you'ij be committed to it. (Don'tsubstitutemake-believe lettersor diary entries for this exer-cise;it is essential that you actuallysendoff leitersto someoneelse.)Herearcthe rules of thegame:1. Writeat least 500words everyday. At first, count thewords; later you'll be ableto estimatethenumber of words oneachpage,2. Set yourself a timelimit of half an hour, Makeeveryeffort towrite your 500 words during that half hour. Thatmeans, do not stop to tllink.3. Knowwhat youwant to saybefore youstart writing,Youcanthinkof whatshouldBointoyour lettcr at oddmo-mcnts during thcday. Makesureyou haveenough materialbeforeyoubegin. Asa rule, report ontheeventsof theday.4, Always write infonnl1l1y. Usc as many contractions a!possible. Underlinefreely for emphasis. Use parentheses forcasual mention.5. Don't beafraid todigress,Cllapter SixteenFIRSTPERSONSINGULAROneof the most important events in the historyof writinghappened on February 28, 1571. On that day Michel deMontaigne, a 38-year-old French nobleman who up to thattime hadn't shown any signs of unusual literary ambilions,suddenlyquit publiclife, left Paris andthe Royal Court forgood, andretiredtothelibrary of his COUntryhouse10 devotethe resl of his life to writing. Thai country house with itslibrarystill stands and, for all I know, tourists can go theretounyonsightsccingbuscs, Therethey canlooktit aninscrip-tion on the wall that reads (in Lntin): "InIheyear of ourLord 157 I, at Ihe age of Ihirty-eighl, on the last day ofFebruary, beingtheanniversaryofhisbirth, Michel de Mon-taigne, longwearyof theserviceof IheCourt andof publicemployments, whilestill in his full vigor, betook himself tothe bosomof thelearned virgins;