TheGame - Times Online - WBLG_ Three Lions on Safari

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World Cup FinalWin a trip to football heaven

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http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegameJune 15, 2010Three Lions on Safari

Stuart Higgins, form er editor of The Sun

It was the brow n furry arm of the frisky and screeching baboon jabbing at mytapestry curtain in my thatched cabin in a s teep ravine at 9.05am w hich reminded me Ihad chosen an alternative and less c onventional package f or England's openingmatch of the World Cup against USA in South Af rica.We had only arrived back at the at Entabeni Safari Park - three hours aw ay f romJohannesburg - at 5.15am after our disappointing 1-1 draw at Rustenberg before myunivited guest dropped by for br eakfast and reinforced the f act that I was notsleeping near the fan-zone.

The ever smiling housekeeper Salumi had w arned us of the dangers of nocturnalvisits from monkeys or baboons and their fondness for a 'party' if they got into theroom but I only learned later they could open a loose w indow to gain entry and cutthrough the telephone cables cutting off the lodges fr om the reception. My shoutingand scr eaming sent the baboon fleeing.There's thirty seven of us aboard f or the Three Lions Safari - just England's openingmatch - and w e all came w ith big expectations of seeing good show s f rom the BigFive in South A frica, Rooney, Terry, Lampard, Gerrard and Ashley Cole.

So our downc ast fac es, disappointmentafter the long and largely s ilent coach tripback to saf ari HQ in the Waterberg r egionof the Limpopo Province w as healthilyrestored when w ithin twelve hours of thedismal draw w e w ere on digital camerapointing terms w ith rhino, elephants andlions and w ithin a closer distance of theseats to the pitch on Saturday night.

Only tw o of the f amous Big Five w eremissing, the elusive and shy leopard - arare and apparently jaw droppinglyw onderful sight at Entebani - and thestern-f aced and particularly menacingbuffalo. It could be argued that England's'head ranger' Fabio Capello has s uff ered asimilar problem so f ar w ith those playersw ho have gone missing w hile on duty inSouth Africa.

The Three Lions on Safari adventure setout on match day f rom the Entabeni SafariConservancy 320kms north of theRustenberg venue at 11am aboard araucous coac h full of beer and mad keenEngland fans draped in St George's f lagsand w earing an assortment of historicfootball shirts fr om England's previous tournament CV.

Two hitherto shy and quiet chaps suddenly and proudly produced plastic Britishbobbies' helmets from their innocuous plastic bags like a Tommy Cooper trick andslipped into them as the venue's f loodlights came into sight for the f irst time - a signalfor unanimous dress ing up in as much patriotic garb as possible, including facepainting at the front of the coach.

Having returned to base at 5.15am our tw o 'policemen' companions, set offapparently undaunted 45 minutes later in search of more excitement at the Germany vAustralia match by coac h and plane to reach the other side of the country before kickoff. We haven't seen them since.

We'd enjoyed a pack lunch en route w ith a banana and a lamb roll and fulfilled the'must have a pint before kick off rule' by dropping in unexpectedly to the Bulls SportsBar for bottles of Castle beer w here the locals watc hed South Africa beating Franceat rugby and one rather unsteady and unshaven character tried to join our adventure.

On board the coac h our enthusiastic and energetic tour guide f rom Thomas CookSports, Adam Harw ood kindly and regularly reassured us w e w ould reach thestadium before kick off despite a strange dependency on the driver's sat nav, w hichof cour se has no antennae w hatsoever to pick up the nose to tail traff ic jams w hich





accompany every football match w here there is an expected attendance of over40.000.

The only youngster in our party came up with an ingenious ploy to beat his ow n journey boredom by announcing to the entire c oach - 'Who has the most f illings?'before shining his interrogative torch into the neares t passenger's mouth.

So, w ho are these odd people w ho chose to juxtapose their Rooney w ith their rhino,their Lampard w ith their lion and the Gerrard w ith their giraffe? It's a truly mixedbunch w ith a w eird and purely coincidental nucleus of Bristolians - myself included -w here w e pondered the for tunes of the city's tw o teams Rovers and City over thelast 30 years under v arious managers and an assortment of players.

Our bonding w as for med under the bright winter sunshine of Entabeni w here w eshared breakfast on the law n - at a distance less than a goal-kick from a friendlyfamily of w arthogs and a female rhino w ith her four w eek old baby and later overdrinks in the bar, w here w e w atched the other group matches on a giant screen w ith

our genial hosts cheering every move.

Our post-match quiz - hosted by Adam, now aff ectionately dubbed Alan after AlanPartridge - tested and challenged our combined intellect w ith strongly related f ootballquestions such as w hat w as Elvis's middle name, w ho w as the first Spice Girl tohave a baby and w ho played the brother and sister characters in Friends. We camethird out of three.

It's ragtag group brought together only by its love of football but also by theirfasc ination and curiousity w ith the South Af rica nation and its people - its clear star-

jumbled skies and the outstretched and w elcoming hands and hospitality of our hostssaying thank you for c oming to their country w ith a traditional song and dance and acocktail.

Our day of arr ival was Bob's 50th birthday - he cancelled a big hotel knees up inBristol w ith band to do the World Cup trip. Mike, 54, reminisced w armly but sadlyabout the loss of tw o pals around his ow n age that he had lost through illness butw ho w ould have loved to have been here w ith him.

Our only two A mericans - thanks heavens they didn't win the sw eepstake - in factno-one did - w ore their flags and hats loudly and proudly and w ere inappropriatelydelighted to hear of the News of the World 's Saturday night headline verdict 'Stars

and Tripe.' There wer e relaxing massages on the law n and those w ho chose to jogw ere accompanied by staff for saf ety reasons.

To them, it w as all 'aw esome' from the remarkable wildlife to the saf ari type noisesmade by the 'orc hestra' of vuvuzelas to the dark-maned male lion w ho sat ser enely inour path in the w ay w e expect John Terry to stand magnificently against his opposingstriker.

Thankfully, w e've still got a couple of days left of our short Three Lions on Safariadventure and s till a chance of seeing the Big Five in all their glory and together. Sohas Fabio, I suppose. A nd I must s tay aw ake in case my baboon pal is joining me for





dinner tonight........All photographs by Dave Markham

in TheGame, World Cup | Permalink

CommentsStuart,I loved your article. We, as a charity, fight for lions which are facing extinctionin the wild.You conjure up the magic of seeing the wi ldlife in i ts natural habitat and yourthrill of maybe seeing the "big 5" is something m ost people mus t be able toidentify with.So, the news that the canned hunting industry in SA is al ive and well andoffering World Cup fans a two for one deal where you can shoot a m ale anda female l ion for a dis count price of $22,000, is heartbreaking.The only way to stop this practice in its tracks is for European nations as astart to ban the import of ALL lion products – trophies, skins , claws. It can bedone and m aybe with all the publi city we can give it now whils t SA is in thespotlight, we might jus t start to make a difference.http://www.lionaid.org/ Posted by: LION AID | 15 Jun 2010 18:58:28StuartYour trip must be the envy of every fan back home having to wa tch eventsunfold on TV. Great photographs.Peter -watching from hom ePosted by: Peter Stephenson | 15 Jun 2010 22:18:30It was a pless ure to have host such a brill iant group and Ravineside Teamand Management they would like to pas s their thanks for s haring thismarvelous time with them and that you have left their hearts with warmmemories.We wish that you have left with paw prints on your heart from Entabeni.RegardsDonald DikobeLodge ManagerRavineside LodgeEntabeni Safari Concervacy.Posted by: Donald Dikobe | 16 Jun 2010 10:51:47Awesome photography!Posted by: Erin Robson | 16 Jun 2010 11:20:57

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TheGame - Times Online - WBLG_ Three Lions on Safari