“THE TIME HAS COME”

April 2004

1

Mansur Geiger and friend in the jungle.

SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

Mansur Geiger, veteran of Subud’s min-ing exploration in Central Kalimantan has an important message to share… For some time I’ve had a wish to write a personal note on our mineral exploration project in Kalimantan. While there is plenty of information available on our web site www.kalimantan.com, I know many Subud members are always keen to hear a little more of what lies behind these devel-opments. My wish to write something goes back to July 2003 after I had an extraordinary trip to Baroi, the prospect we now believe will develop into a large copper, silver, gold mine. This momentous trip involved walk-ing approximately 50 kilometers in 5 days up and down 1000 meter mountains in magnificent leech-filled, primary Kaliman-tan jungle. The journey began from Rungan Sari where the night before departure I had an exceptionally strong latihan in which at the end I was shaken vigorously and then spoke the words “the time has come”. The following day, traveling up river I started to wonder what this meant. Was I going to die or was the project finally ready to develop? It has long been my understanding that we would be given the necessary components to turn one of our many mineral prospects into a mine, at a time when both Subud and the local people were ready to receive it. That is, receive it in a manner that will truly benefit mankind. The Ruler of the Jinns Several years ago, I had an experience with Ranjeng Suling, the leader of the

Jinns from this area. He is a 1000 meter tall giant and supports a beard. Sometimes he transforms himself into a saintly bibli-cal character with long white robes, turban and a snake-like staff. His 3rd form is that of an enormous snake about 100 meters long. Ranjeng has been a real supporter and help over the years. On this particular occasion Ranjeng appeared in my dream as the gi-ant. He said, “Mansur, when will Subud be ready to receive this mineral wealth that I’m guarding for you? Please try to make it soon, I’m getting tired and want to leave the earth. The only way I can and will be able to leave this place is through the de-velopment of Bapak’s mission here. So, please try to get Subud ready to receive this wealth of Bapak’s.” Although he is of the Jinn world, I have to admit I sympathize with Ranjeng. I too have felt a bit like a caretaker all these years waiting for the right time. So, are we ready? “Has the time come?” I believe so. Although it still needs to be proven, the richness of minerals contained in the Baroi prospect certainly has the potential to sup-port an economic mine. The main question is however whether we are capable of di-recting and influencing in a human man-ner, the development that will unfold as a result of this mine? The Challenge is Enormous Indeed the challenge is enormous, Bapak was clear about that and that the opportuni-ties were equally enormous. Undoubtedly the effort made in the 22 years to find this deposit, is nothing compared to what lies ahead.

I do believe we are ready, Central Kaliman-tan and its people are ready, plus the world definitely needs to see examples of devel-opment that is founded on human values, rather than driven by unmanaged material forces. That is, facilitating development based on human values that can sustain and maintain human happiness and welfare, rather than bringing about chaos and misery, which is often experienced in developing countries as a result of materially driven develop-ment. On the other hand what often exists in developed nations as a result of excessive materialism is a form of superficial well being, which rather than bringing happiness tends to result in a loss of humanity. We have an extraordinary opportunity to help guide this kind of development in Central Kalimantan. This is the immense challenge and opportunity, which requires our own nafsu to be extremely well guided. Allowing Gods Will to guide us rather than our own wishes is the big test. Facing this is a great reality in Kalimantan where wishes are often quickly crushed or trans-formed. The passions related to “do good-ing” environmentalism, etc are similar in nature to those of power-seeking. All the sustainable development, best prac-tice, environmentally-friendly conferences in the world are not going to change things unless there is a continual increase in awareness of why these issues related to establishing healthy development are im-portant. At the same time people’s human feelings need to be brought alive.

Continued on page 2.

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Continued from page 1. The latihan can clearly help in making these human issues a reality. Once we can show through really significant achieve-ments that Subud is working for humanity and that the latihan can provide a way of effectively doing so, then many people will wish to be opened, both here in Kaliman-tan and elsewhere. We still need the evi-dence. Why am I Encouraged? So why am I encouraged at this time? What has started to open up? Firstly, we have recently completed what I believe will go down in history as the Baroi discovery drill hole. The copper silver zinc and gold minerali-zation in this hole to the drill’s depth ca-pacity of 85 meters was of exceptionally high grade. This I’m confident will be repeated over the next few months, which should start the steps towards a feasibility study at Baroi. Actually, the market and members of the mining public have already started to real-ize something special is going on with KGC. Our share price has moved from 15 cents 6 months ago to as high as 70 cents recently. We will see a lot more activity with KGC stock in the near future. Most of the recent shares in KGC have been purchased by experts and professionals in the business of exploration companies. Subud members can still purchase KIC shares which are private shares not yet listed on the stock market. For those Subud members who have sup-ported this project for so many years I truly pray whatever material gains come to you now, that they will bring new and positive opportunities in your life. It would be great if this included support-ing future developments and projects in Kalimantan, which I believe is the whole purpose. I also hope as the potential of both the mineral project and Kalimantan become more evident, that more Subud members will move here. Why Else are We Ready? It has been acknowledged by several de-velopment agencies that KGC has an op-portunity to establish a pilot demonstration project related to a large mining project that demonstrates positive and healthy de-velopment. It also addresses the major im-pact issues well in advance of the first cash flows, and that creates linkages to other

sectors such as forestry, agriculture and small scale industry in a manner that deals with mine closure and the creation of other livelihoods that last beyond the mine’s lifetime. This acknowledgement from several UN bodies, the World Bank and governments is a result of our years of persistence and the close relationships that we have estab-lished with the local people and govern-ment. The development world, particularly re-lated to mining and the extractive indus-tries is desperate to find new and positive ways of directing development. If we can do this we will attract enormous interest and support. The development approach in itself will become a very valuable asset, one that others will wish to use. Another important component of why we are ready is the level of harmony we pres-ently share within the entire mineral devel-opment team. Bapak often reminded us that this difficult to achieve element is key to real success in Subud. Why? I guess it’s simply because if you have harmony it means the nafsu are in order and being well managed. Some Junglie stuff During the July trip I had a deep and pow-erful experience that was related to the Roh Ilofi (Holy Spirit). I will not go into this too much other than that I received some understanding of what Bapak told us that the Holy Spirit is the latihan. Once this can permeate our entire being then everything is bound together through God’s power and grace. We live God’s creation. We are his endless creation. There is effortlessness in this, as we follow God’s will and not our own. This experi-ence brought me to tears on a river bank one day, at which time a large green frog came and sat down beside me. He came to bear witness to this event and comfort me. I also had to tame a Jinn jungle spirit known as Tahi. This half-lion half-dog creature is that which delivers curses and black magic to humans. Many of the guys in camp had dreamed about him and Didi our geologist had fallen foul of someone’s evil spell. Actually, I was about to kill this Tahi when I was told, “Don’t do that, after all he is also a creature of God”. So, I let him go and now he is a tame and helpful monster. After such experiences one comes to un-derstand that the basis of many old folk stories and fairy tales are actually based on this crossover spirit world. To some all this may sound totally absurd. While others will say, “Yes, we knew it. Mansur has gone Tropicana… Talking to frogs and taming jinns’.”

I just wished to convey a taste of how it really is working in the Kalimantan jungle. Probably not much different to how it was in developed countries several hundred years ago. I believe things are about to change and move rapidly as they did a few hundred years ago in the West. The other day a helicopter, provided by some missionaries at greatly reduced charter rates and a major benefit to our operations, picked me up in Rungan Sari and flew me here in 40 min-utes. It will take me 3 to 4 days to walk, boat and jeep home. The same trip 20 years ago took 1 month. Things are chang-ing. Unfortunately this includes the rate at which the forest is being destroyed. This is not only disturbing to outsiders but also for local people.The reality is that locals cut down trees themselves to provide a bowl of rice for their family; they have no other available options. This is also why it’s time for our project to develop, to provide other less destructive livelihoods and make available revenues to allow the forest to be managed rather than destroyed. Perhaps the locals’ hope for change can best be illustrated by the statement of a young Dayak who was working on the drill rig the other day. After extracting meter after meter of solid copper and silver from the drill hole, he said to me, “ Do you think this will allow me to get married soon?” I replied that I certainly hoped so, since there were lots of pretty girls in Kaliman-tan. I thought this question was particularly appropriate, as it sums up the types of is-sues that are of importance to local folk. The Dayaks are great realists. They under-stand that life is never perfect nor is it meant to be so, however they like all of us hope for something better. What Does the Future Hold? What does the future hold ? - A very excit-ing and challenging adventure of discover-ing what human-based development is. For me? God willing, in addition to con-tinuing in the greater developments related to a major mine and exploring for Kali-mantan’s untouched mineral and diamond wealth; I’m going to become a farmer. Utami and I have purchased a nice size piece of farming land in Sei Gohong and have started to plant vegetables, coffee and fruit trees, in cooperation with the local farmers.

Continued on page 3.

SUBUD VOICE - April 2004 2

THE TIME HAS COME

Sachlan Fraval, who has been giving enterprise development in Australia a big boost, reports on the AGM of the Austra-lian charity Morningside CARE (which runs the project Sine Cera) at which it was decided to end Subud control… On 21st February 2004, a resolution was carried by Morningside CARE changing the constitution which had previously called for the Board to have a majority of Subud members. I feel it is important that we all understand, without any emotion, what has happened here in order for many to achieve closure in relation to the change. I have not had any history with Sine Cera and because of that I feel able to put a per-spective based on what I have seen in the enterprise experiment and what I have been told both by Munawaroh and others. Please forgive me if some of my “facts” are not accurate. Morningside began as an aged home started by Munawaroh and Labasir as-sisted by some $45,000 in loans and dona-tions from the Brisbane Subud Group (some of whom have now passed on). Another major contribution came from a Subud member who had a part ownership in a racehorse. Affinity had never won anything up to that point. The owner made a pledge that if it ever did win anything that he would give his proceeds to Morningside. In 1984 Affinity won one of Australia’s biggest races, the Caulfield Cup and the winnings went to Morningside Care. The old folks home was successfully run by Munawaroh and Labasir until it was sold for approximately $600,000. It is Munawaroh’s statement that much of this additional value was due to her efforts and the “content” given her by Almighty God. I believe this is the reason why there was little communication between the original supporters and Munawaroh in the applica-tion of the $600,000 to the purchase of Sine Cera. This caused angst in Brisbane at the time I have heard but do not know any details. After the Sine Cera property near Kyogle was purchased, the next major input from a Subud member was a donation to enable the beautiful Fahr Clinic to be built on the property. A house for Munawaroh was also included.

Many Subud members (this is not meant to ignore the efforts and time given by non-Subud members) have given considerable amounts of time and effort to the property. It is an enormous task not made any easier by its remoteness, a fact that is part of its attraction. Munawaroh and Labasir, themselves Subud members, gave their all to the pro-ject. Labasir passed away some three years ago leaving Munawaroh with all the bur-den of carrying the place. A string of Subud members have tried to work with her and have failed. Munawaroh blames all of them in one way or another. Munawaroh has told me that although she believes in Bapak and the “content” of the latihan she does not feel the same connec-tion/commitment to the Subud organisa-tion. Herein lies the crux of the issue. Sine Cera was not structured like other companies, that is, based on ownership but is a registered charity incorporated under the Incorporated Associations Act. Its members and the Board control it. If it is liquidated or ceases to exist, the assets cannot be distributed to anyone other than a registered charity with similar aims. The Sine Cera constitution was established with the clear aim to be an outward expres-sion of the Subud latihan. That is why Subud members supported Munawaroh’s efforts and why the byelaws contained a pre-requisite that the Board have a majority of Subud members. It is this byelaw that has been changed and the change reflects Munawaroh’s own changed attitude to the Subud organisation and Subud members. The resolution passed last Saturday paves the way for the direction of Morningside to become Glen’s (a non-Subud hard-working natural therapy entrepreneur) di-rection. Sine Cere is likely to become a showcase for his natural remedies and I am sure that he will make a material success of it. It, however, will no longer have latihan content (beyond Munawaroh). I once was told the story of a man who had bought a MacDonald franchise. The busi-ness went so very well that he went to the company and said: “Why am I paying all this money for a franchise fee, I can do it without you.” MacDonalds said to him:

“Go for it! – But of course you will have to take the yellow arches down, do away with the burger names, Ronald MacDonald etc.” He did not do it because he realised that even though he had worked hard and done very well that it was mainly because of the MacDonalds concept and backing that al-lowed for his success. The meeting last Saturday took the Subud sign down from the property. It was personally disappointing as it was the first of some 50 plus projects that I have put down as part of the “enterprise experiment” that has not worked out. I had said to myself at the beginning that some would not succeed but I was told that there would always be something to be learned. There is no “judgement” in anything I have said. I just believe that we should lay the case on the table to put in our understand-ing and move on. Sachlan Fraval, Melbourne.

SUBUD CONTROL ENDS AT SINE CERA

Continued from page 2. We’re presently planting grass so we can bring our daughter’s horse which will be the first in Rungan Sari and the start of “Mansur’s Stud”. We also have the school to develop. So far this has been a real challenge. How-ever after a year it now seems we are ready to make progress and we intend starting a 1st grade for the community this year. This is something the local people and government really hope Subud will establish. Meanwhile our children here at Rungan Sari, all 9 of them, are flourishing under the guidance of Ibu Salamah Dick and several other teachers and parents. We do need a few more kids and some financial support to help this school grow. So much is actually possible here in Cen-tral Kalimantan. Every morning I wake up at sunrise and stand on my verandah awed by the beauty, the space, the peace, the dynamics, the fertility, my gratitude, the opportunity and humanness of Kali-mantan. I do believe “the time has come”. Mansur Geiger, Rungan Sari, Kalimantan.

3 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

THE TIME HAS COME

THE BIG ADVENTURE We were sitting in the clouds. Sixteen of us were sitting in a circle, up in the air on the second floor, windows around us, with snow falling outside. The snow was falling so fast and so thick that it shut out the sound coming from the street below. And it was like the cold air outside and the quiet inside created a graceful clarity that we could trust. We were able to see what it means to take care of children who live in desperate, inhuman, conditions. We were able to accept and be grateful for the imperfect efforts of each other, and of ourselves. We were able to discover that out of our true coming together, the noble human emerges. And so 2004 began with a wintry summit meeting about Fundacion Amor. We were at the Subud Center in Evanston, just outside of Chicago, at the end of Janu-ary 2004. I had asked people from around the world to jump on airplanes and fly into an adventure. The adventure was Colombia, a land of beauty and great difficulties. A country and people that Bapak always loved. The adventure was Fundacion Amor; a school in a Bogota slum that we thought was really wonderful ten years ago. We became so intoxicated with what it meant to us that we raised it to impossible heights; then when it fell and crashed many of us abandoned it, feeling betrayed. And yet, Fundacion Amor was still there, feeding 300 children with love, because there was no money to provide them with a small breakfast and a little lunch snack. The school was still there, providing an umbrella of care so that the children could do their lessons even when the rain dripped on them through the leaky roofs. Something was still strongly there to keep teachers teaching despite the fact that they often did not get paid. And so, the adventure was based on a sim-ple question that we were to test in prac-tice: Could we accept why we are in this world, and serve whom we are here to serve? What would happen if we made this our first priority? And the adventure was inspired by what we have witnessed in the last two years: That we are developing the ability to inten-tionally step into our big selves, feel and

follow the prompting of our souls, and function effectively in the Big Subud. The adventure was successful. We faced one of our most complicated and tangled legacies, and found resolution and re-birth. Not just in new understanding and good feeling, but also in a five-year plan, new responsibilities, practical commitments, and the confidence to apply this experi-ence to other projects. Sometimes we have meetings that end with wonderful feelings, but then some-how nothing happens. I am writing this almost two months after our meeting, and many things have happened --- all good. The roofs are fixed, the teachers are get-ting paid on time, the young people are being fed, the team is functioning, and Subud Colombia is rediscovering one of its treasures. If just 100 people in the Subud world sponsor a Fundacion Amor kid for a year for $300, the project will be on much more solid ground financially (if you are interested, you can do this online at http://www.susiladharma.org, or contact your national Susila Dharma network). This support from Subud members will make a crucial difference in addition to the support the project already receives from Susila Dharma organizations around the world and other generous supporters like the Guerrand Hermes Foundation. What do we learn on this adventure? We learn that we can be practical and pursue a vision at the same time. We learn how to be fueled by the fire of our inner cour-age and be effective and successful in its expression. It was a kind of confirmation that a month after our snowy summit, the newly elected leaders of the municipality of Soacha asked Sebastian if Fundacion Amor could take in 100 more children. These 100 young people are now in class at Fundacion Amor. The first version of the five-year plan we developed in January had a target of 600 students. There are 400 now. I can see the time when we will say: “We will work with projects in Colombia to feed more than 1,000 young people with love, education for life, and nutritious meals”.

We are getting close to being wide enough to do this. We are getting close to being wide enough to do the same thing in the Congo. You can go on this adventure, too. Just get together with a few people with whom you share a burning interest. Find the quiet core of your common commitment. Make it one of your top priorities --- something that you embrace and make part of your life. Sacrifice some of your time and other resources, but make the sacrifice without looking back. Check in with your big selves all the time, and keep going. Then, watch for the unexpected to hap-pen, and try hard to accept the blessing of being stretched into your true self. This is the Big Subud Adventure! Daniel Cheifetz daniel@web.net

4 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

Sri Lanka Germany Portugal Colombia Canada

England Austria

Brasil

USA

A compilation of the 68 recorded talks given by Bapak during his visits to nine countries in 1981

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Produced by the International Subud Committee in association with the Tape Preservation Unit.

talks on audio DVD

From: Susila Dharma International on behalf of the Susila Dharma Amor Sup-port Group. Outcomes from a Working Meeting on Fundacion Amor, Chicago, January 24-25, 2004... In recent years, there have been calls for more collaboration among Subud mem-bers, projects and organizations. Rather than create new projects at the interna-tional level, the idea has emerged to sup-port the existing projects and initiatives of Subud members that are already working and alive. One opportunity to try out this concept has presented itself with Funda-cion Educativa Amor in Colombia. Fundacion Educativa Amor has been working with Susila Dharma since 1988 when this education project in Soacha, a poor neighbourhood outside Bogotá, was created. The project ran into difficulty in 2000 for various reasons and nearly col-lapsed. Burdened by crippling debt, the stigma of poor management, and unrealis-tic expansion plans, Sebastian de los Rios, one of the co-founders, has struggled to maintain the services the school offers to the children and their families by cutting costs drastically and selling whatever as-sets he could spare in order to reduce the debt load to a manageable size. SD Germany, spearheaded by Renee Zimmer, and the Guerrand Hermes Foun-dation began to reconnect with the project in 2001 and to reset the course of a re-newed partnership. With their support, Sebastian was able to make the project viable again within three years and to re-gain the badly shaken trust of donors and supporters in Subud Colombia and interna-tionally. However, the debt load from the past, the economic and social crisis of Colombia, and unstable funding sources have been challenges that the Susila Dharma network alone has been unable to help him with. This has had a big impact on the ability of the project to deliver quality services to the children. The buildings are in a bad state of repair, the teachers’ salaries are vulner-able, the standard of education needs to stabilise. All this in an environment where poverty and violence are increasing as the civil war rages on and more and more refugees flood into Soacha to escape guer-rilla warfare in their rural home regions. Through the initiative of Daniel Cheifetz, some of the main stakeholders in this part-nership were brought together for a week-end meeting in Chicago. The purpose of the meeting was to seek new solutions in support of Fundacion Amor. The project, Subud Colombia, SDI, SD Germany, SD

USA, local Chicago Subud members in-cluding entrepreneurs, the international helpers and WSA were represented at this meeting. The idea was that if we could develop a collaborative model for Funda-cion Amor, we would be able to apply it to other projects in Colombia, and elsewhere. As a result of a weekend of interactions characterized by a willingness to look at past mistakes honestly, to put aside differ-ences, to remain open to seek new solu-tions and to trust in the Subud process, the following were agreed to: • A 5-year plan based on historical infor-mation and a qualitative needs assessment provided by Sebastian; • Annual re-evaluation and adjustment of this plan in view of limited resources and the dynamic nature of the environment; • Hiring a part-time administrator, psy-chologist, and social worker; • Stabilizing the project with bridge financ-ing individually guaranteed, but coming through a targeted fund established in MSF; • A collaborative fundraising approach; • A commitment to look at ways to im-prove sustainability, to find supporting services in the project and the Subud com-munity in Colombia, and to create profes-sional documentation about the project to broaden financial support beyond Subud in the future;

• A new relationship between Subud Co-lombia and Fundacion Amor; • Finding ways to start up appropriate en-terprise activities to provide training and other community services as well as to support the school Attendees: Sebastian de los Rios, Martin Fisco (Chair of Subud Columbia), Mateo Diabanza (English teacher at FE Amor and interna-tional helper), Kumari Beck, Rosanna Hille and Elias Dumit (from SDI), Renee Zimmer and Julia Frischeisen-Köhler from SD Germany, Serena Heaslip (Chair SD USA), Miranda Grisales (Chicago-area social worker, now Board member of SD USA), Daniel Cheifetz (WSA Chair), Meldan Heaslip (Vice-Chair WSC), Jason Buell (Chicago-area entrepreneur), Benja-min Boyce (observer, Portland), Daman-huri Alkaitis and Nasrudhin Hassani (international helpers). The following people have agreed to form an operational support group to facilitate the implementation of the plan and connect with supporters: Rosanna Hille, Renee Zimmer and Law-rence Fryer from SD Germany, Martin Fisco, Mateo Diabanza as administra-tor/communicator, Jason Buell to help with financial analysis, and Sebastian de los Rios as the General Manager of FE Amor. More information can be obtained from Rosanna Hille at rosanna@susiladharma.org or Renee Zimmer at czimmer@t-online.de

THE LATEST FROM FUNDACION AMOR

Pre-school group at Fundacion Amor.

SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

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6 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

We had just finished attending the Austra-lian national congress in Sydney. Instead of returning home to Melbourne, we were flying out to the Indian sub-continent for the Asian Zone gathering and the Indian national congress being held in Bangalore. Both Atika my daughter and I were asking each other why we were not bursting with excitement. I felt a quiet in the depth of my inner. Something very unusual was going on. I was returning to India after an absence of thirty odd years. For Atika, it was the first time she would be setting foot in the coun-try of her mother's origin and embracing her roots. This was indeed a spiritual jour-ney for both of us. At the end of a long and uneventful flight, we landed in Bangalore. My hungry eyes searched for familiar landmarks. I was get-ting confused as I found none. This should have prepared me for what was in store. We were met by a Subud brother, Vijayku-mar, but even as he guided us towards the car park, I found there was nothing I rec-ognised. Even the airport looked different. I was beginning to feel very disorientated. It was such a shock to my system. I had to ask God for forgiveness and surrender my longing for the past. I promised I would be just content and go with the flow. As we drove towards our Subud centre, I realized that the Bangalore that I knew and lived in had changed forever. Time had taken hold of it and turned it on its head. New high-rises, American and European companies setting up branches had turned it into a very affluent IT-savvy town. It is now the Silicon Valley of India. We took a long and tortuous way to the Subud centre. To me, all this was exciting. There were hundreds of auto rickshaws plying skillfully between traffic. Driving here is an art as in Jakarta. You can feel who is going to give way, whether or not it is his right of way. I had to laugh when I saw the familiar sight of cows still sedately crossing the roads. Traffic gingerly pulled up as the cows ‘felt’ their way safely across. They seemed well fed. They disap-pear in the evenings and are back on the roads early in the mornings. Vijaykumar was telling us that there were eighty-five members at the gathering. Six to eight from the United Kingdom, four from Israel, four from Australia counting the international helpers and ten from the island of Sri Lanka. Many of the Indian members from Delhi and Hyderabad joined the gathering.

drink. Subud had actually come into this land and the people were aware of the help they were getting from the group. In the afternoon, we walked miles through arid farmland to the school where we were to have our lunch. We were desperate to use the bathroom. As it was being “made ready”, we in our desperation, chose the bush! We collected plenty of burrs and thorns for our effort. As we washed and sat in the school room for lunch, in came the man with the ba-nana leaves - fresh and cut in plate sizes and bio degradeable. Our rice, dhal (lentils) and and vegetables were served on the banana leaf. It is an art to scoop all the food to the middle of the leaf and not allow it to flow down the sides! Curd (yoghurt) and lassi (butter milk ) are the usual accompaniment of a meal. Religion is like Breathing Most of the villages had beautiful temples where the locals worshipped. Religion was like breathing. I was fascinated be-cause we had a majority of Hindus in the Bangalore group. They were special in their understanding to open up in order to embrace the latihan. I remembered my first introduction to Bapak in 1969 in Cilandak. "Indian? Mus-lim? How is she in Subud"? Bapak asked. I had to say that I live in England, away

Continued on page 15.

A Sense of Humour As we arrived at the Indian Social Institue where the gathering was being held, we were welcomed by the smiling faces of Joe and Bella Rosario. These two members have given all their time to community welfare and building schools to provide a free education to the rural poverty stricken children. Women are trained to acquire skills which would, in future, help them earn a livelihood. Both Atika and I were shown to our rooms. Maurice Palfreyman from England was put in charge of all the visitors. His first comment to me was “I hear you are badgering these poor people for coat hang-ers”. As I was spluttering to defend my-self, he smiled and handed me a towel. He had a tremendous sense of humour. I now knew whom to approach if I needed any-thing. As we had arrived about four days before the commencement of congress, Joe and Bella took us to the villages to show us projects where Susila Dharma is active in establishing a school and helping the vil-lagers better their lives. The farmers were taught methods of permaculture and water-ing systems. The women understoood that they were being shown how they could improve their crop yield, educate their children and improve their own standard of living. As we sat under shade in the hot blazing sun, the women in their beautifully col-oured saris showed us how they reaped their harvest using their scythes. The women were prepared for our visit. Some took us by the hand to their homes and gave us fruit, peanuts from their land and

INDIA, MY BELOVED INDIA

Rohana Fraval and her daughter, Atika, in India.

7 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

did not feel I had the capacity to choose the right path myself and even still I resist, I like to live by my own decisions. The Kejiwaan sessions I feel are different. They give you the opportunity to get a feel about the movements of your Latihan and ask general questions that as a group can bring you a deeper level of understanding. I believe that we forget why we are all in Subud and that is to worship God and to “hopefully” (fingers crossed) receive puri-fication. Through the Kejiwaan days and spending time within the Indian culture I have broadened my understanding of the hard-ship that the Indian women go through and the strength that they have gained through their challenges. Each time that I would find myself getting a little impatient or intolerant at such things like, the pace of which things are done, the poverty or the lack of western toilet facilities, I would remind myself of the wonderful work that the Mithra Foun-dation is doing. They are working towards building a better India and one that be-lieves each child has the right to eat and be educated. The Child Labour Camp On the third Kejiwaan day I was asked quietly if I could attend, with a small group, to visit the child labour camp day at the Mithra School. The day had been planned for Susila Dharma representatives from the countries present and others who had an active role with the project. I did not know what to expect, as my Mum, Ro-hana, would normally have attended. When I think of child labour, images of mass factories with children sewing or working on a conveyor belt jump to mind. The reality was very different. The child labour camp invites children from the North East of Bangalore to come and enjoy a day of dancing, singing and being happy. Child workers are very common and it would be impossible for a camp to happen for all the children who are sent out to earn, instead of learning at school in India. Most of the children were 11 years and under with one or two that were 12 years old and removed from school at Year Four or Five. All sent out to work to support their families. Some worked in garages, building sites, fruit stalls, rolling bhajis for food stands, as domestic servants and quite a few took care of the house. The goals for these children are simple, to learn to read and write.

Continued on page 18.

For me coming to India was accepting a part of myself that I have always found difficult to understand. Having a mother who is Indian meant that I knew that I was half-Indian on the inside but having white skin on the outside was definitely part of my resistance to my culture. When planning the trip I was not excited like I might have been for a holiday down the coast but was quiet and very surren-dered. As if needing to prepare myself for this unexpected journey. Our first real day in India, after having a good sleep from the 20 hours of travel, began with more travel. A few hours out of Bangalore, away from where we are staying, we visited some rural villages. I have never seen anything like it before. The Mithra Foundation runs projects oper-ating in India to help the communities, especially in the slums and in rural vil-lages to bring the level of education up and to help to sustain themselves. They are helping them change their farm-ing techniques and they are in the middle of nowhere and are so amazed that people are interested in them. Some speak English and they are so welcoming and warm. They have nothing but want to share eve-rything. They introduced us to their family, showed us proudly their houses and fed us a beau-tiful traditional meal, served on banana leaf. We were taken into their school where most had not had contact with a white person before and I was surprised to be asked for my autograph! I think I was moved to tears by their kind-ness and generosity. All the women were dressed beautifully in their saris and the children in their uniforms from school. The school was no bigger than a small changing room block and had charts and animal posters on the walls. Such different lives. The experience shared with the peo-ple of the village is one that has given me the strength to witness and face a number of other ways of Indian life that usually I would find difficult to accept. Day Two... Mum had been going through some kind of shock to see what was once so familiar completely changed. For her this trip was going to be about taking and showing me places from her childhood, but not one recognizable landmark in sight. I also think that it is a big trip to make, internally and externally. There are so many assaults on the senses. Visually the

people are very different to me and are very curious about me and then you have the vast number of people. The sewage system is very primitive with a great number of the population still go-ing to the toilet on the side of the street! We visited a school, which is another pro-ject by Mithra in the slums, and they put on a performance and celebrated their last day of term. I felt very sad for the little they had but it is hard to be sad for people who seem so happy. It makes me think of how much we have. As the week proceeded Mum’s illness got worse and her temperature remained high. I didn’t like seeing her look so fragile and I became quite the enforcer of her bed rest. On a few occasions she had convinced me that she was getting better and I gave in and let her join the rest for activities, after which she would get weak again and then worse than before. The Kejiwaan Experience While Mum was taken out of action with a terrible illness I did my best to contribute on behalf of Subud Australia. During the previous week at the Australian congress in Sydney my helper’s cap was officially placed on my head and I was very happy to be tested in as a candidate helper. It seemed it was a role that I was already fulfilling as I had been responding to a number of questions asked by people of all ages (in and out of Subud) in regard to Subud, the latihan and Bapak. Who would have thought that one week later I would have the pleasure of witness-ing two openings? An Indian woman named Vidjaya Ashok and a British woman named Helen Dixon. The latter has become a great friend and travelling com-panion. So, here in India I attended the Kejiwaan sessions. We were addressing the main questions that Subud India and guests had proposed, where the general theme became how do we bring the Latihan into our daily lives. Also, we discussed the attitude to each other in Subud, to the Latihan and to test-ing and discussed if you are not prepared to follow the testing that you receive you should not test. It was said that we should not use God as our travel agent, real estate agent or career advisor and that our testing is only as good as out capacity to receive. I have always felt that I did not like testing unless I really was in a situation where I

AND A DAUGHTER’S RESPONSE...

8 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

You surprise even yourself because al-though you never studied something, yet you can do it. This in fact is what we call culture: something that is alive, something that grows because your soul is alive. So Subud is not just knowledge for after you die. It is an education for as long as you live in this world. So don’t think of Subud as a preparation for the next world… well, in truth, it is your prepara-tion for later on, but you still live in this world, and if God Wills, you will be here for a long time to come and you still have to go through many experiences. So if you don’t become accustomed to being guided by your soul, later you will regret the time you wasted. Why? Because the latihan, apart from helping you live life here, is also your preparation - the preparation of your whole body and all your senses. What for? So that every part of your body, every organ, will be alive.

When I say alive, of course some parts of you are alive and other parts are not alive yet. Maybe your head is alive, but your feet are not; or maybe your hands are alive, but your eyes are not. Why is that? Well, it’s because our body, or the differ-ent parts of our body, constantly interact with the world, and by interacting with the world they are affected or disturbed by the world and this leads to a deterioration in the quality of, for example, your eyes, or the other parts of your body. This is why we need to go through purifi-cation. Purification may occur within us one part at a time, but it all constitutes our preparation. Preparation for what? So that you can become aware of and understand what is happening inside you. But that is not all; it is also so that you can get to know how close you are to God. As you know, God… rather God’s Power, is inside you. But perhaps you don’t real-ise how close you are to that Power – in

Brothers and sisters whom I respect, good evening. Brothers and sisters, I have wit-nessed your latihan and testing and seen that most of you have a good latihan – I can say your latihan is alive. By alive I mean that your latihan has content, that it is moved from within. Even so, there are a few who cannot move yet. Now, whether they are new or long-time members, if a member cannot move, the helpers should attend to that member and assist them. By assist, I don’t mean that you try to force them to move, but you find a way to help them really feel the latihan and afterwards they can continue to do latihan on their own in the normal fashion. This is why I have advised that before you begin your latihan you should ask God for your latihan to be guided by the Power of God. It’s important that you make an inner intention to direct your worship towards God so that your low forces will not influ-ence your latihan and that you will experi-ence movements that are truly moved from within or, in other words, that come from your soul. Once you get into the habit of doing this, you won’t be disturbed by the group lati-han. Many members say they are disturbed by the group latihan – by the other mem-bers - and so they don’t want to do latihan with others. But if your latihan starts from within no amount of noise will disturb you. You are only aware of what is hap-pening inside you and you are oblivious to the other members. Awakening our Whole Body When we first experience the latihan we feel it in our physical body. This happens because the latihan spreads by awakening our whole body, every part of our body. We call this cleansing, or clearing out, so that our soul can penetrate our whole body. This is why when I test you, I always ask, “Where are your hands and what are they for? Where are your feet and what are they for?” This is so you can become aware of the difference between using your hand when it is alive and when there is no content – when it is alive it means it is guided by your soul. This is what you do in latihan, but if you want it to, your soul will keep on working during your daily activities. This is why we find that a mem-ber who could not draw before can sud-denly draw, or a member who could not sing before can suddenly sing – it is brought about by the action of the soul.

fact there is no separation. Why do I say that? Well, you can demonstrate this for yourself when you do latihan: the moment you remember God you feel something move, something expand inside you. If you pay attention to this, or you are aware of what happens when your latihan starts – you feel something grow inside you, you feel you are lifted up. It’s at that moment that you realise that God’s Power that is inside a human being manifests through the soul and then unites with God’s Power that is all around us. The growth of our soul also prepares us for how, and to what extent, we will receive or feel what God Wills. Of course, we cannot force this process of growth to happen, it all depends on the inner space you prepare and how you place yourself inwardly. Our task as a human being is to do things which can be called good and blessed by God. So for young people for example, if you are still studying, the latihan won’t be a burden, so just study in the normal way. By this I mean, don’t have a feeling that your studies are being forced on you. In-stead, look on your studies as your respon-sibility as a young person to gain experi-ence. Having that attitude will mean your studies will not impede your spiritual growth; rather they will open the way for you to be successful in your life. And I don’t just mean material success, but you will also succeed in achieving the spiritual growth that you will need for your life later on. Don’t have regrets later because you wasted your youth doing things that were not important, that did not prepare you for your life later on. If you lead a good life, a calm life, your spiritual growth will proceed by itself, and your worldly activities will not interfere with your growth. Suppose for example you want to go to latihan but you don’t have any money. Like it or not, that will block you – you want to go to latihan but you don’t have the money for a bus or taxi. So as a young person you should feel it’s your task to seek to attain the highest level of knowl-edge. Even though no one forces you to, you should feel responsible for your own life, because having that attitude will train you for the search of your real self. Now your stage of spiritual preparation will affect your receiving. Of course, I am referring to receiving from the Power of God. Your preparation goes through dif Continued on page 14.

THE THIRD SAN PEDRO TALK Ibu Rahayu’s Talk, August 13 2003, 03 SAO 3

San Pedro Brazil, Final Translation by Raymond Lee

‘So Subud is not just knowledge for after you die. It is an education for as long as you live in this world. ’

April 2004

INNER VOICE - April 2004 9

Editor Ilaine Lennard Email: ilaine@subudvoice.net

A LIFE IN SUBUD gives an intimate account of many of the most important moments in the development of Subud. As a young engineer searching for the meaning of life, Raymond van Sommers became a follower of Gurdjieff at Coombe Springs, England, where he supervised the building of that remarkable hall, the Djamichunatra. In 1957 he was among the first to receive the latihan. Two years later Bapak asked him to help establish the International Subud Centre at Cilandak where he designed the ten-room guesthouse which was Bapak's home until Bapak's own house was completed in 1966. Raymond was also a founding partner and director for ten years of the architectural and engineering firm, PT International Design Consultants, in Jakarta.These extracts from his book have in small part been shortened from the original. Talking with Sudarto In those early days at Cilandak, I would occasionally visit Sudarto, a member of Bapak's secretariat. He was always hospitable and kindly and often volunteered his advice on how we should benefit from being near Bapak: 'If we are ten per cent purified then we are taken care of by our guidance ten per cent, the remaining ninety per cent has to be dealt with by the passions. Sometimes Bapak may see that a purification will take a long time but he doesn't tell the member because it would only cause the person to feel discouraged. Instead Bapak indicates the direction and improvement possible bit by bit - like when one wants a child to cross the room one offers a series of attractions which will encourage the child across.' 'While undergoing purification it is better to find a job which you really understand and which satisfies your feelings.' A latihan experience In the months that followed our arrival in Cilndak I attended the general latihan three times a week and the extra latihans for men helpers with Bapak. In one of these I had a strong spiritual experience.

As I stood with my eyes closed a bright light came towards me and entered me. I felt that it came from a high source. It filled my body so that for a few moments I was completely made of light. My whole body was transparent light. I was conscious within it and outside it and in all directions. It was a wonderful experience and the knowledge of it has never left me. An explanation from Bapak In those times we saw Bapak every day. We would also go with him when he went up to the hills on a Sunday. On one of these trips I was sitting with some visitors on the terrace. Bapak began to explain that when we have the latihan alive in us we can understand things through any part of our body. For example, 'Bapak's hand can read Lamaan's way of doing things.' [In those days my name was Lamaan.] He then let his hand move: up for a while, then across, up again, then across again. This way of acting: action, stand back, action, stand back, he said, was in my character. 'This means,' he said, 'that Lamaan starts something, then leaves it for a while and then goes on with it.' I was unaware of this and it was some time before I noticed the truth of it. Years later a secretary told me I had this pattern of behaviour, not knowing what Bapak had said to me. Experiences during Ramadhan Each year in Cilandak, I followed the month-long Ramadhan fast. For three consecutive years I found myself in an outer situation that reinforced the experience of the Fast. Each time, towards the end of the Fast, when fasting had made me feel more sensitive to people's condition, I found myself in a place where the human situation was desperate. These synchronistic conjunctions of outer and inner events had a strong impact. The first year I had to go to the slums of Jakarta because a servant was ill. I had never before been down the narrow walkways between the shacks built in the swamps. I felt moved with shame at the kindness and respect given to me by the family in the small and crowded servant's room.

The second year I was asked to go to a hospice to give advice on building improvements. Ibrahim, a Subud member, had begun to pick up the dying from the streets and take them to this primitive hospice. He had only just started and the conditions were still much as he had found them. Gaunt people lay dying in bamboo shelters with only a cloth for cover. I had never before had direct contact with such abject hopelessness. The third year I was called to Sumatra to prepare a feasibility study for the development of Medan harbour. The work was soil sampling on the tidal flats. This wide expanse of bare black mud, was home to the poor who couldn't find a shack in the city's slums. Dotted about in tiny temporary shelters, these were forgotten people. Yet these people had nowhere else to go. Still fasting, I worked the whole day deeply touched by their situation. I came away thankful to God for this experience of compassion. Bapak’s testing of helpers In June 1975, I attended the Fifth Subud World Congress in Wolfsburg, Germany. Bapak said that where Subud membership had fallen off, it was to some extent the responsibility of the helpers, so he would test how helpers should be. He asked us to receive: Q. How does a person who will make a good helper feel to you? Bapak said: 'Like a father to his children.' Q. How does a person who is not suitable to be a helper feel to you? Some helpers made a big noise in this test and Bapak said, 'If you test like that in front of an applicant you will frighten them.' Then Bapak asked us to test about ourselves as helpers: Q. How does it feel when you are acting with the correct attitude towards the members? Q. How do you actually feel towards the members?

Q. Feel the quality which attracts the members towards you as a helper.

Continued on page 10.

A LIFE IN SUBUD Extracts from the recently published book by Raymond van Sommers

10 INNER VOICE - April 2004

Continued from page 9. The testing of Leonardo In 1979 I attended the Sixth Subud World Congress in Toronto Canada, and remember this valuable incident: Bapak's testing of a member from Colombia made a strong impression on many I spoke with. Bapak had appointed several International Helpers and now showed us, by example, how they would fit into the helper organisation. After testing the talents of members from England and North America he asked if there was someone from South America. A man named Leonardo came forward. In reply to Bapak's questioning he said he had just lost his job as an accountant. He was a very cheerful fellow and immediately had our sympathy. Bapak asked him to test and show his true talent, but he didn't receive a clear indication. Bapak then asked for a helper from Leonardo's home group to test with him. The result was again unclear and Bapak now asked for a Regional or National helper. Someone was found but the testing remained inconclusive. Bapak then called one of the new International Helpers. His testing was able to show that Leonardo would no longer be satisfied working as an accountant and that he would be better working with his hands as a mechanic. Bapak asked Leonardo if he felt he could find work in the technical field. Leonardo didn't seem very confident. Bapak went on asking, 'What now? You can't leave a person in this situation. Subud Enterprise Services (SES) should be asked to give some practical assistance. The two should work together, the helpers and the experts.' The incident was very moving. Not only did Bapak show us what to do, but he showed us by example how to do it with the utmost concern, patience and perseverance. He was not content to finish until an answer was found and Leonardo was genuinely satisfied. You have to change your heart Bapak's talks always brought practical guidance to my life in Subud. In January 1981 I attended the Asian Zone Conference held in Cilandak. Bapak's final talk on 19th January contained this passage: "Brothers and sisters, you need to understand something: If you want to be helped by people, you must also help people. If you want people to love you, you must also love people. And if you want people to cooperate with you and assist you, then you must also have that attitude towards them. This is what is called human justice.

"Now in facing our human life, we should understand that we have received the latihan kejiwaan from the power of Almighty God. So there is no lack or shortage of advice, teaching, instruction or guidance for us in our everyday lives and for our everyday needs.

"Why is that? Because we have within us God's guidance and this guidance envelops our whole being inwardly and outwardly. And not only our own being but all of this created universe. God's knowledge and guidance are boundless and without boundaries. It encompasses the whole world and all God has made. "Bearing this in mind, brothers and sisters, why is it that you in Subud, still easily lose your way or come to the end of your tether, getting depressed with your life and your progress? How can this be when you have at your disposal the guidance of the power of Almighty God? "The duty of a Subud member is to create his own happiness. A Subud member may not in fact allow his life to sink into a state of disrepair, neglect or shortage. It is your duty as a Subud member to create that happiness, to create peace within yourself. Such is your responsibility to Almighty God. "Bapak takes the example of a bird. A bird when he leaves his nest in the morning can already sense which direction he has to fly in to find his livelihood, to find what he needs for food for himself and his family. It is as if he can already smell this before he leaves the nest. He senses where he has to go and what he has to do. Why then can't human beings be like the bird? Bapak doesn't say you have to be more than a bird. Bapak just means that you should be able to do at least like the bird does: You should be able to sense for yourself what direction you have to take for yourself in order for you to find your livelihood. That is the very least you should be able to do as a creature of Almighty God. "Bapak of course knows why you can't do that. The thing that stops you from

ever reaching even the level of an animal is your own nafsu. The nafsu which is always worried. The nafsu which is always worried about what will happen if you do this or that, the nafsu that always wants something for nothing, that always wants to get as much as possible and give as little as possible. It is our tendency always to calculate to our own advantage. We always like to get as much money as possible for as little work as possible. We always like being helped but we try to avoid as much as possible having to help. "On the other hand, we think to ourselves before we do something, 'Oh, if I do this, I'll fail.' "Don't precede everything you do with deciding what will happen afterwards. It is enough that you just follow. Follow what you receive or what you have to do within your life, your duty in your life. Then you will be given God's guidance. God provides man with everything he needs to fulfil his life in this world. God provides you with all the means of your livelihood each day of your life. That is why Bapak advises you: Don't put a curse on yourself through your own words. "Brothers and sisters, as Bapak has just told you, a Subud member is not allowed to let his life slide. It is his duty to form his own happiness, stability. But similarly, we are not allowed to let other people go short either. We are not allowed to have people around us who are poor or destitute. We have to help them. This is not only true of people who are in Subud but people who are outside of Subud as well. In order to do this, you have to be like Bapak: if you see a balance sheet, you only look at the expenditure. "Like Bapak, you have to know that the income will come to fit this expenditure. If you want to be able to help others, you have to have that attitude. And for that attitude, you have to have a change of heart. You have to change your heart from a heart that worries, from a heart that's small, to a heart that is great. "A Subud member who has received the grace of Almighty God may not have a heart full of worries. You have to have a heart (such as termed in Javanese ) that is as broad as the ocean. A heart that can truly contain the whole world. And this is something that, if you pray to God in Subud, you should pray for that thing. Pray to God to give you a heart as wide as the ocean." [Recording 81 CDK 3]

"The duty of a Subud member is to create his own happiness..” - BAPAK

How to be happy “I need to learn all over again, and methodically, how to be happy. This is a form of gymnastics, like exercise with dumbbells; it can be achieved.” - Andre Gide

INNER VOICE - April 2004 11

I don’t know how it is for you, but for me ageing doesn’t come as a gradual process. It comes rather in distinct well-defined stages. There I am, drifting along, more or less steady as she goes, when suddenly wham-bam-thank- you-m'am!!!! ageing delivers another crushing piledriver to the ribs. These ageing stages generally seem to first present themselves in terms of loss. Loss of hearing, sight, teeth, energy, memory, hope, physical prowess, breath, health, friends etc. But that is just the first appearance, and as we all know, underneath that there are many positives to be gained. Exchanging a Chevvie for a Merc I was very much cheered to read a recent article by Abdullah Pope. As some of you may know Abdullah has been writing a series of articles in Subud Voice about his memories of Bapak. In Part 6 of the series (printed in Subud Voice, December 2003), Abdullah wrote of Bapak’s meeting with an ambassador from Trinidad: Bapak received him in his office in Cilandak. After an exchange of pleasantries, the ambassador came out with his main concern: which was that, although only in his late ‘fifties, his memory was failing and his mind was not as sharp as it had been. Bapak answered him with a delightful word picture. “You are getting old, and you must not fight it. You have been riding in a Chevrolet and suddenly you find a fine new Mercedes draws up alongside you, and you are instructed to get out of the Chevrolet and into the Mercedes. Your new vehicle will of course be different, and much more suited to your journey to the next world.” Yes, I found this very cheering. So, it is not all loss! Indeed a superior vehicle is being prepared for me. It is just that I am reluctant to get out of the old one. We are always reluctant to leave the familiar for what is new, unknown, but reading that anecdote helped me make the move to the Mercedes, my vehicle for eternity. Of course it all makes sense. All these losses break our attachments to this material world and prepare us for the journey onwards. The “crossing of the bar” (as Tennyson put it). I was also interested to read some other words from Bapak on the subject of death in the Inner Voice section of Subud Voice

which is edited by Ilaina Lennard (see Subud Voice January 2004). Bapak mentions that he, like most of us, is afraid of death. “Bapak has experienced this himself. In what way? I will give you another example. Sometimes I feel very sad. My heart feels sad, sad and anxious. The message behind this feeling is: ‘You are going to die’. That is the message: that I am going to die. Imagine how that feels. You already feel anxious and on top of that you believe that you are going to die. What can you do? Who is not afraid of dying? Bapak himself is afraid to die. You die once and that is it. What can you do? If only you could die two or three times and live again….” Yes, if only we could have a couple of rehearsals before having to do it for real! Dying Well But it is often said that one of the benefits of the latihan is being able to die well and there are many examples of this. Patricia Lacey talked about this in a recent article in Subud Voice. (Excuse me if this essay is beginning to sound a bit like an advertisement for Subud Voice but these days just about the only reading I get time for is the articles that come to me for Subud Voice.) Patricia Lacey (now aged 85 not out) with her indefatigable energy, bawdy humour and gift for good works is of course herself tribute to the latihan and the ageing process. In December Subud Voice she wrote in article about Wisma Mulia… “The local doctors know us well. Whether they like us or not is another matter with all our quirky ideas and interests in alternative treatments. The old doctor (his son now looks after us) who died recently nevertheless commented, “You sure know how to die.” So that is a feather in our caps.” And the latihan is not only a training for death but for also the “retirement” years. Of course Subud members are not the only ones who live rich and productive ‘retirements’, and not all Subud members retire well but many do. There is often a late flowering. The residents of Wisma Mulia provide examples and I always think of Sofyan Armytage, a schoolteacher in Australia, who has blossomed into a fine poet in his “retirement”. This continuation of the latihan into old age also gives us hope that it really will continue to enliven us after death.

No Regrets What will we regret when we face death? In my case, it will be all my unfinished projects. I am 61 now, and even if I live for another 25 years, it is hard to believe I will finish all the books, films, songs, operas that I currently have in production and “pre-production”. And of course if I do live for that further 25 years, those years will no doubt generate many more projects, so that even if I was to complete the ones currently in hand, I will never catch up. But of course this will not really be a matter for regret. One can only do as much as one can, as much as energy allows. Besides, Swedenborg, the Swedish mystic, who claimed many times to have passed over to the other side, says that in heaven all you have to do is think of something and it is instantly done. So any projects I do not complete on earth, I can presumably carry over to heaven to instantly complete there. It takes the pressure off feeling I have to get everything done here. Heaven and Hell Swedenborg claimed to have visited heaven and hell on many occasion and brought back detailed reports of conditions there like some supernatural foreign correspondent. His reports are extraordinarily detailed and vivid. His reports make all other reports look vague and insubstantial. Other descriptions might be compared to someone who says, “There is a country called America”. Whereas Swedenborg says, “There is a country called America, and on its east coast there is a great city called New York, and in New York there is a great square called Times Square, and running off Times Square is a street called 42nd Street, and on 42nd Street there is a recently renovated theatre, and in one of these you will find a play called The Lion King playing, and some of the features of this production are etc. etc. etc…” Of course, many of you will be disposed not to take Swedenborg literally and will regard his most famous book, Heaven and Hell, as a work of fiction or imagination. I am however, inclined to believe it is literally true. There is much objective evidence of his psychic gifts – once having dinner with some friends he

Continued on page 12.

ON AGEING, DEATH, HEAVEN AND HELL - Harris Smart

12 INNER VOICE - April 2004

Continued from page 11. suddenly announced that his house 500 miles away had caught fire. There is also much evidence that he was neither deluded nor dishonest. And his accounts of heaven and hell have a feeling of veracity and a very fine moral tone Furthermore, Subud members will find many resonances between what Swedenborg has to say and some things that Bapak said. But even if you are not disposed to believe Swedenborg’s reports as objective descriptions of heaven and hell, you will find that they can be read as extremely insightful metaphors for the way life works on this material plane. For instance, he says that the people in hell are extremely ugly but they have no sense of this and believe themselves to be fine and beautiful. Isn’t this precisely how things are here where we make mistakes and bring upon ourselves wretched, hellish conditions? Our pride always demands that we justify our situation, which is of course what keeps us imprisoned in it. Our conviction of being right enables us to keep behaving badly. Think of an extreme case, like a heroin addict. No matter how degraded they may appear to someone else, they maintain an image of themselves as being quite OK, otherwise they could not continue in the state they’re in. Human beings can rationalise absolutely anything to themselves so that it appears good and fine. Sex in Heaven Some of you will be stimulated to know that according to Swedenborg there is sex in heaven. Unencumbered by our gross material bodies, our spirits come together in an incandescent blinding flash. I have had experiences, perhaps you have too, of how death is really a liberation, freeing us from the cage of the physical body. I had a good friend in Subud, a man of great sincerity and commitment, whose life was yet dogged by failure. The success he longed for – to do something really outstanding for Subud – eluded him. And despite his many fine qualities, there was a flaw in his character: he harboured deep, dark, long-standing resentments. He pretended not to, but they were there.

When he died, I felt his spirit released. It was as if his spirit had been cramped, constricted and deformed by its imprisonment in a physical body on this material plane. Now it was released to become fully itself. And Marriage too Swedenborg also says there is marriage in heaven. If it happens that we have married the right partner on earth, then we will stay together in heaven. But if we are not right for each other, we will just gradually, painlessly, drift apart and eventually link up with a right companion soul. Bapak several times described the process of judgement after death. He says that the nafsu are paralysed and it will no longer be possible for us to lie to ourselves or others. The various parts of the body are compelled to own up to the interrogating angel about what they have done. Bapak mentioned an actress whose cheeks are required to confess to the many kisses they have received. And Bapak adds, “And that was just the cheeks!” Swedenborg’s account is similar. He says that people are not sent to heaven or hell by a harsh judgemental God. Rather they just incline to one place or another according to how they have lived. The people in hell are not sent there; they go of their own free will, it is their choice. They prefer hell to heaven. Indeed they would not feel comfortable in heaven and like it much better in hell. Again, even supposing that Swedenborg did not really “pass over”, we recognise the truth of this observation in its application to our life here on earth. It is as if you or I were invited to have tea with the queen in Buckingham Palace. We would probably feel rather shy and stiff, unnatural and constrained, and really we would much prefer to be at home flopped on the couch with our shirt hanging out. This reminds me of a statement of Bapak's about hell. He says that hell is like a nightclub and if you are the kind of person who likes nightclubs you’ll be quite happy in hell.

Extract from an article titled ‘We are Being Prepared to Die’, by K. Mangoendjaja. Published in the SUDUD JOURNAL Autumn 1968 ..As it is impossible for man to surrender completely all at once, he is taught to surrender little by little according to his ability. .. One afternoon I was writing a letter to a member in Japan, when suddenly a feeling of loneliness came over me. I was hardly able to finish my letter. I felt so lonely and alone as if I were alone in the whole world. This feeling was so intense that cold sweat broke out. I could not understand this feeling of loneliness as I was not alone in the house: my wife and children were having their afternoon nap. The loneliness became so unbearable that I wanted to awaken my wife to keep me company. However, I still did not carry out my intention as I thought it was very silly of me to have such a feeling in the day time when the sun was shining brightly outside. I decided to do the latihan. In the latihan this uneasy feeling began to subside and later it disappeared altogether. Then my inner voice said: “Mangoen, you felt lonely because you cannot surrender yet. The feeling of loneliness, worry or fear that a man may have in the face of death is caused by the fact that he can’t surrender yet. Therefore many people when they are dying want to be surrounded by their kinsfolk or friends, because they feel lonely. The dying man realises that although there are people around him, he is dying alone, and this makes him feel lonely. But if you can surrender to God’s divine Will and accept it with true faith and sincerity, you wont feel lonely.” ..Bapak’s advice can be summed up in one word: Surrender! Just surrender, surrender, and once more surrender. That’s what I am going to try, to surrender as best I can. I don't know when God will call me away; however each day given to me, I am learning to surrender. God the All Wise knows that it is impossible to demand complete surrender from me at this time because it goes hand in hand with my spiritual development and purification. Mangoen, one of the earliest Indonesian helpers, died some time ago. - Ed.

IN THE FACE OF DEATH

HEAVEN AND HELL Swedenborg’s insightful metaphors

Harris Smart, at work in the study of SV’s former editor, Ilaina Lennard

So often do we hear debate about the growth of Subud, so often do we hear of initiatives that merely scratch the surface, of remedies that do not treat the cause. And the cause of the lack of growth in Subud is simply us. After that South Afri-can conference when Sjarif tested, the an-swer came “Not Subud enough.” We are not Subud enough. If we can bear to face this truth, if we can bear to accept the fact that even among the helpers there is too much mixing, then perhaps Subud will grow. We read too much of therapies and crystals and regres-sion techniques and coloured lights and so on and so forth. When we were opened we received a Gift from God. We were awakened from the Dead. If we do not believe that, if we do not understand that, then we have missed entirely the significance of Subud and the Latihan Kejiwaan, the exercise of the Jiwa. What did Bapak reply to John Bennett when he resigned as a Helper? But, Bapak does not know why, but he feels that it is a great pity that such a member still does not understand the truth of the Latihan Kejiwaan of Subud which exists by the Grace of Almighty God. If we ourselves do not understand that there is no way that we can add to Surren-der to Almighty God, that there is no way that we can supplement His Will with our wills, then that too is a pity. Of course we all fail, because “Our adver-sary the Devil roameth about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.” Even though we are in Subud the satanic forces still roam about within us. But we believe, we have evidence of the almighty power of God, in spite of all our failures. So it is clear that the transmission to other people of this infinite life force you have received is an unconditional obligation, willed by God for the accomplishment of an order in human society in which happi-ness and harmony may be established. So it is that we are obliged, we are obli-gated to pass on what we have received. Now many people have written books and the truth is that they are all inadequate, but they are the best we have. We know that nothing whatsoever can adequately convey the truth of Subud to a person until they are opened, and even then how many of us fail to recognise the real significance of what has happened not simply to us as individuals, but also to us as part of the history of mankind.

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We are bound to share this gift, but we cannot persuade anyone to accept it, we cannot sell it and package it, we cannot cry it from the housetops, even though some-times we feel the urge to do just that. Even my own initiative to get Subud books into Bookshops I recognise by my own definition to be but a paltry move. How-ever some among you have been kind enough to applaud this initiative. We know that if Subud Books circulate amongst Subud members only, then those outside of Subud who hunger and thirst after finding a true way to Right Living according to the Will of God will not come across them. It is but a small thing, but somehow we need to let the good news, that there is a special new dispensation of Grace in the world today, be ‘available’ to all mankind. That is why some of us have written books to bear witness to the most extraordinary event that has taken place in our lives. That is why we have sought to make clear that it is completely unlike any other discipline that requires concentration of the mind, samadhi or any other techniques of medita-tion, like the reciting of mantras. We don’t do that. We surrender, or rather we are surrendered. (I have just been interrupted by a call from a young Muslim from Wellingborough who was directed to me by Peter Harrison of Watkins Bookshop!). Now that Watkins has stocked “A Life in Subud” (at this moment in time completely sold out) and “A Reporter in Subud” the aim is to ask the Brotherhood to forward me their orders, particularly for the latter. The key to getting the bookshops to stock is to ensure that they get orders from us within the Brotherhood. Then those same books become ‘available’ to the world out-side. This same principle can be applied worldwide. Let us make sure that Boston, New York and Washington DC have Subud Books in their central esoteric bookshop; likewise, LA, Frisco and Seattle. Next I hope to follow with the Autobiogra-phy of Bapak Muhammad Subuh Sumo-hadiwidjojo. What better than the experi-ences of the founder of Subud itself? There are some 500 copies in store. Let us get them on the bookshops of the world. Once we have done that it will be easy to follow with other titles. If I am wrong in what I here propose, if what I have said about mixing should offend anyone, then of course I beg forgiveness from all my Brothers and Sisters in Subud. Anthony Bright-Paul, UK.

BOOKS AND GROWTH A LIFE IN SUBUD A Life in Subud is a new book from Raymond van Sommers. It is an intimate account of many of the most important moments in the development of Subud. Raymond was one of the original partners of the architectural and engineering firm PT International Design Consultants (IDC) which was a pioneering and successful enterprise in Jakarta. The memoir records spiritual experiences of great interest, and is illustrated with 115 photographs, most of which have never been published before. The Australian writer, Blanche d'Alpuget, comments: 'A fascinating story that begins in a painter's studio in Australia and finds it way through the jungles of New Guinea and Africa, to Europe and Indonesia, A Life in Subud recounts, without any shout-ing, the adventurousness of a man fully living the spiritual life. ‘Raymond van Sommers, in a disarmingly gentle voice, has written a book that Subud members will find inspiring, as will many others who have never experienced the latihan.' HOW TO ORDER The price is AUD$30 posted anywhere in the world. There is a 10% discount for Subud Voice subscribers, bringing the price to AUD$27. People ordering from within Australia: Should direct their orders by mail to DAWN BOOKS, PO Box 531, Northbridge, NSW 1560, Australia, en-closing a cheque or money order. People ordering from outside Australia: Can order and pay by credit card through our web site - www.subudvoice.net. Click on the SUBUD VOICE BOOKS AND VIDEOS tag on our home page to access the ordering facility. Or fax your order (an order form can be downloaded from the ordering facility) including return address and credit card information to +61 2 4262 1725. Card information should include Card Type (VISA or MASTERCARD), Card Num-ber, Expiry Date, Name on Card and Sig-nature. Or mail your order to: PO Box 311, Dapto, NSW 2530, Australia, enclosing interna-tional bank cheque or money order. (No personal cheques please.) Make sure to include return address.

self. If you try to force yourself to receive something you can lose your inner bal-ance. This can lead to what we call a crisis and most of you are afraid to have a crisis. A crisis happens when your desire to re-ceive exceeds your capacity – then you have a crisis because you are out of bal-ance – the soul goes beyond the body’s capacity. However, God will not let you endanger yourself even when you are in crisis. That said, the helpers still need to stay with someone in crisis and not leave them alone. To accompany them does not mean you do latihan with them. Instead, you pray to God for the strength to help that member surrender. You need to do this because a person’s crisis may be pure to start with, in that it is guided by the soul – this why the person in crisis is fully aware of what is going on and who is with them – but as the crisis proceeds, it be-comes a clearing out of that person’s be-ing – everything has to come out. This is why it can take a long time for someone to return to normal. So brothers and sisters, the latihan is not just a matter of making movements and feeling things – the latihan encompasses every aspect of human life. As such, as God’s creatures, we must always keep in mind the words that symbolise Subud: Susila Budhi Dharma. Remembering these words, as Subud members we are of course concerned to see other Subud members live under op-pression, who cannot live as we do, such as members in Cuba. I have read from their letters that the situation in their coun-try is deeply oppressive, and when it comes to spreading Subud or worshipping God through the latihan, they must do this in secret. But if you live in conditions like the members from Cuba, don’t be sad, instead you should feel prihatin, which means we surrender the situation to God. If you are sad you will be overwhelmed by your sadness and that helps neither you nor your country. But with an attitude of prihatin and full faith in God, then God Willing, although we don’t know when, we hope God will open the way for our members in Cuba. So as fellow human beings, when we do latihan there’s nothing wrong if in our prayers we pray for members who live in such conditions. And, brothers and sisters, if we pray sincerely, then God willing these members will be given the inner re-lief they need to face their difficult lives. With that brothers and sisters, I conclude my talk and I hope that we will all be granted long life and good health in mind and body so that we can meet again and can strengthen the bonds of community and closeness between us. Thank you.

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Continued from page 8. ferent stages. Some of you can only re-ceive with your physical body, but as your latihan is alive it will go deeper and later you will receive in your feelings. And once your preparation goes further, you will be able to receive complete with understand-ing and awareness. It’s because of these various stages of preparation that in practice the answers you receive when you test may be wrong or unclear. But, those of you whose prepa-ration has gone further will feel what you receive in your feelings, and if you pro-gress further still, you will understand what your receiving means. What I mean by physical receiving is that you just move - you move forwards or backwards, or nod for ‘yes’, or shake your head for ‘no’. But if you can feel your re-ceiving in your feelings, then you can re-ceive why the answer is ‘yes’ or why it’s ‘no’, why you move forward or why you move back. If your receiving has reached your consciousness or understanding, then when you receive ‘yes’ or ‘no’, you will also receive the best thing to do – you find that in your feelings there is also under-standing. So the way we receive is not how you might imagine – that God is in front of you and it’s as if you talk to God. No! God will give a receiving to you through your own being, through the parts of you that are ready to receive. If your mouth is ready you will receive from God through your mouth; you will say something you had not thought of before. When you explain things to other people, if your mouth or voice is filled by the Power of God, people will hear what you say very differently from when you just speak from your low forces. This is not easy to do, especially for the helpers, because you have to deal with the members, members who do lati-han and who may be able to receive more than the helpers. So I want to urge the helpers that when you give explanations, when you help other Subud members, don’t just say the first thing that comes into your head, don’t just reiterate the views and opinions of others. This is a good moment to inform you that my replies to members’ letters can now be read on the internet. But don’t take them as the answer to your particular problem. Even though your problem may be the same, the root of the problem will differ. So when you look at my letters, you should feel them with your feelings and not just use them blindly.

Take marital problems for example: couples should not get divorced! But this doesn’t mean that a couple should never get divorced, because one couple’s prob-lems will differ from another’s. We have to understand the cause. The helpers need to feel this when they answer the members’ questions. So my replies are just examples for you as to how to approach a problem. And receiving can progress even further, you can have a much purer receiving. This kind of receiving you have is an experi-ence in which you feel that you have left this world. All you are aware of is yourself and the Power of God. This is what can be called true receiving. But this only happens if God wills it. You don’t need to look for this kind of receiving; you don’t need to isolate yourself in a deserted place, or avoid other people. No matter where you are, if God wants you to receive some-thing, you will. This is why we need to keep doing latihan. It is not true that you don’t need to come to latihan, as some of you who only come to latihan once or twice a year think. Yes, it’s true that when you do come you feel your latihan is still the same. But what you don’t know is what happened to your soul in the interim. It may be that for the six months or the year that you didn’t come to latihan your soul went to sleep. So your soul didn’t grow and you let the low forces within you do as they please. So you must be diligent in your latihan. Don’t just do latihan when there is a large gathering and then you turn up for latihan, but normally you never go to latihan. Don’t do that. Our purpose in worshipping God is not to be seen by others, or to meet our friends, no! Your worship is between you and God. So when it comes to seeing a result from your latihan – seeing the proof – that’s your job to achieve that. It is not the help-ers’ job; it is not my job, nor Bapak’s job. You have to find your proof for yourself on your own path. All we can do is point you in the right direction. The latihan is the training of the soul and the only one who can train the soul is God. So when you hear other people’s stories, you don’t need to believe them, or emulate their experiences. You must search for yourself and discover your own proof, be-cause if we claim that Subud is real there must be proof and you must find that proof yourself. And you look for it in your lati-han, by following what your soul wants you to do in latihan. We cannot predict what we will receive or what God’s Grace for us will be, we cannot anticipate this. You might receive something in your sleep, or when you eat. You could be do-ing anything when it happens. The main thing, as I said, is don’t try to force your-

SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

IBU RAHAYU’S TALK

Continued from page 6. from the Islamic community, even though I was opened in India in 1964. The Muslims find it very hard to join Subud because as far as the community is concerned, “there is no need for any crutch”, as my brother used to say. All through our journey, both Atika and I were asked to explain “the Subud movement. Do you still say your normal prayers" they often asked. Here we were, Hindus, Mus-lims, Christians and Jews maybe Buddists and Jains gathered under one roof in Ban-galore for the sole purpose of worshipping God. Congress Begins The opening of congress was full of mean-ing and great depth of feeling. As we ap-proached the door to the hall, each one of us was sprinkled with real rose water from a silver container. Another sister dotted our foreheads with a symbolic auspicious red dot. There were six from England who had come on a tour organised by Maurice Pal-freyman. Lydia was the only member from Singapore. Indra van Hein and Virginia Al Said were visiting Bangalore with a view to finding suitable accommodation for Ibu. Banga-lore has beautiful hotels, old and new. It will be such a boost if more people from abroad come to see Ibu in September. Fever Strikes As the congress progressed, I found my-self floundering. I developed a high fever and had to be confined to bed. I found that very hard, but found it even harder to get out of bed. I kept asking God how it was made possible for me to come all the way to India for this congress, but was kept out of the kejiwaan session! I immediately put myself on antibiotics that my Australian doctor had prescribed for just such an emergency. All to no avail. I was still burning with fever. I was one of the kejiwaan facilitators, but the day be-fore, I lost my voice. I became aware that it was an inner experi-ence. I asked to be shown a little of what it meant. I realized this was also Atika's spiritual journey. She was just tested in as helper at the Sydney congress a week be-fore. I had to lie low. It was so lovely to see her coming into her own. The roles were reversed. She was now caring for me, and accompanying me to the hospital for all the tests. Secretly, it

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crossed my mind that I might have con-tracted SARS. Thank God, It just turned out to be an up-per respiratory infection. I had to be quiet and my caring brothers and sisters saw to it that I was doing just that. I felt like a puppy dog being shooed into its kennel every time they saw me step out of my bedroom! Cultural Activities The Indian groups had laid on cultural activities every evening. The one that I was able to attend was a state organised cultural dance and music evening. Most of the artists were new and were encouraged to perform. This was their big debut. Some of them were exquisite. At one event at the gathering, local Subud children gave vent to their artistic talents. Some of them were stunning. There was one fourteen year old who reminded me of Charlotte Church. With a good agent, her God-given talent could storm the world. A little six year old boy played the Indian drums like a professional. All this talent hidden in the dust bowls of a country that is experiencing a three year drought. Whilst I languished in bed, the rest of the visitors left on a three day safari to the Mysore tiger country. They also visited Ootacamund, a picturesque hill station and the famous Brindavan gardens in Mysore. As soon as the party left, my temperature came down to normal. Murphy's Law. As Atika was bonding with the people, I understood that I had a role to play during my stay in Bangalore. Iljas Jamieson was preparing to train the staff in screen print-ing at the Mitra school. I asked Bella if I could train the girls to learn seated mas-sage. This is a good Chinese technique to relieve stresses and strains from the head and neck area and also the shoulders and back. Clothes are kept on and pressure applied on the acupuncture points. The results are tremendous. It helps clear headaches, fatigue, and myriad other ills. I had a batch of ten in the first group. They were good learners. I felt if these poor girls had a second skill, they could earn money for their families. I am sure Bella will see that at least a few of them have their chairs on the ready for the next business seminar she organises anywhere in Bangalore. So my three days were gainfully employed much to my delight. In Bangalore, the Mithra School premises are used for latihans only on the second and fourth week of the month. Madras has purchased land with a view to putting up their house. Subud Colombo volunteered to help as they are in the process of com-pleting their new Subud house. This was all very exciting stuff.

One of the members said he was an archi-tect from Israel and would volunteer his services for the planning of the house. For me, an ‘NRI'’ as I am called, (non resident Indian) I feel such a surge of emotion. I love these people and wish for them the Subud as I understand exists in the West. They are all so dedicated and committed. They receive strongly, but they lack a venue. As both Bapak and Ibu have said, the only way to progress is to latihan, lati-han and latihan regularly. One suggestion was for them to hire a church/school hall twice a week for lati-han. Of course, you can only hire by the month. What is more important than going to latihan regularly? This is how you bond with one another. This is how the helper network can work efficiently. Without this, there is no structure that is tangible. We in the West take Subud for granted. Here, there are no places where they can meet regularly, unless there are gatherings like the current one. As it was in the Beginning… As it was in the beginning, so was the closing; full of content. Jose Rosario was tested in as the incoming chairman for Subud India. Basheer is the new chair for Madras. Basheer was “volunteered” by his forward wife Zarina when candidates were asked to step forward for testing. Vijaykumar is now chairman for the Ban-galore group. Each one of us was asked to say a few words. The love and hospitality extended by the host country was over-whelming. Joe and Bella were exemplary. Thank you for your kind hospitality. Atika and I stayed back with six other English members to tour India. We hired a mini bus and drove up to Pondicherry - the French enclave by the sea. We were there for seven days. Using this as base, we drove up to a place called Mahabalipuram, where the temples dating back from 800 AD built by the Pallava dynasty still stand as sentinels on the sea shore. Six of them have been claimed by the sea. Sometimes, you can see the top of the temple when the sea is rough. Like the Twelve Aspostles in Australia, these are on the heritage list. I do not know where else our adventures are going to take us as we travel in the Subud bus. I bid you goodbye, and for those of you who shared this journey with us and experienced the congress this year, please come again, maybe when Ibu is here. It is a country with such diversity. You will either love it or hate it, but you will never forget it. Rohana Fraval, Melbourne.

MY BELOVED INDIA

Prihatin is not a monopoly of Subud. It would be safe to say, that most Javanese would have exercised prihatin for some period at some stage in their lives. It is essentially an exercise of cutting down on worldly pleasures, such as sleep, food, sex and other forms of self-gratification. It is not my intention in this forum to write an in-depth meaning of prihatin. Like fasting during the month of Ramadhan, prihatin is essentially a spiri-tual exercise for the taming of nafsu. Receiving for my Second Child Each one of my spiritual experiences is unique and special to me and this one is no less special than those of earlier or sub-sequent ones. But it is probably the most difficult one to express in words to other people, because of its out of the ordinariness and strange-ness, also because of the inadequacy of language to describe the various human emotions and feelings. Readers of Subud Voice would probably still remember from my previous story, in Subud Voice of February 2004 edition, that my wife and I had to wait for almost 5 years after marriage before God the Almighty bestowed on us a child. It was indeed to our surprise when my wife discovered that she was expecting a baby again nine months after the arrival of our first child. I can't remember why, but then I decided to do a little bit of prihatin. My prihatin was devoid of any "nafsual" wish, as since I was in SUBUD my attitude to life has always been one of PASRAH BONGKOKAN, a Javanese expres-sion for total and unconditional sur-render. PASRAH means surrender and BONGKOKAN literally means a tied bundle. So PASRAH BONGKOKAN means to surrender as if one gives oneself in like a tied bundle, or to leave one's life or affairs entirely and unconditionally in the hands of God. So, in the positive knowledge that my wife was expecting a baby, I decided to exer-cise some prihatin. Every night after my wife had gone to sleep I would do a SUJUD or a quiet lati-han in the grandfather chair beside the bed, very often until early in the morning, or at least until midnight, regardless of week-days or weekends.

Changing into Another Person It was on one night in July 1971, in the seventh month of my wife's pregnancy that as usual I was still up, in the grand-father chair in a quiet latihan after mid-night. At about 2.0 o'clock in the morning, a most strange experience happened to me. I was observing myself changed into another person, according to my under-standing a man of nobility or high priest in a very ornate cardinal white robe. I can swear that I was totally sober and awake and fully conscious. My consciousness was telling me that this person is of much higher and nobler soul than mine. I was firmly transfixed in the grandfather chair and totally envel-oped in the following novel, exotic and splendiferous potpourri of mystic feel-ings and emotions: humility, eeriness, awe, thankfulness and a tranquil and se-rene joy. I was mildly scared, and yet revelling in the privilege of the experience, the like of which I had never encountered before. It was the most unusual experience I ever had. I wanted time to stop. But there is an end to all good things. What seemed to be a few minutes was probably only a few seconds. That ‘noble’ person departed from me, and disappeared into my wife’s womb. My wife was fast asleep in bed in front of me. I then went to bed myself beside my wife. The first thing that I did in next morning was to say to my wife; “Darling you will be given a son and he will have a higher soul than mine and he should be given the name Bima with a second name of Rachman”, and I told my wife of the experience I had the previous night. This time I did not have to wait for 29 days before his name came to me, unlike when I was waiting to receive the right name for our first child. My wife liked the names, so that was easy. Who is Bima? Bima is a character in the Mahabarata, a Hindu-Javanese epic mythology. He is second of the five brothers in the Pan-dawa family. In the mythology The Pan-

dawa family embodies all human goods while the Kurawa represents the antipode of all human goods. Bima is the pillar, protector and van-guard of the Pandawa family, and has the following qualities: A man of few words, with forthrightness, sense of justice and honesty, loyalty, speaks truth and always in plain language. His magical power resides in his “Kuku Ponconoko” (Razor-sharp Elongated Right Hand Thumbnail). He also has the power to create a storm so powerful that it can flatten huge trees and open up a jungle. Rachman is an Arabic-Indonesian word, which means soft in heart and compas-sionate. Somehow, I already knew, even before the child was born, that he was going to be the only person who will and can judge me fairly as a person and as a fa-ther. Bima was born exactly, one and a half years to the day after his sister Ria, on Sunday 13th September 1971. Bima is now a mature 32 1/2 years’ old young man, an industrial engineer. In my observation he is indeed imbued with all the characters of Bima of the Pendawa family. He might be my son, but I look up to him. [Note: Incidentally The Birth of Bima (”Bima Bungkus”) and Dewa Ruci are Bapak’s most favourite Wayang Epi-sodes, The first one is about the birth of Bima, he was brought to earth wrapped in a tough shell , so tough that it rolled around in the forest for years until an Elephant by the name of Sena came around and using its tusk to break open the shell. And the moment Bima came out of the shell into the world, Sena dis-appeared into Bima’s body. Hence Bima’s adult name is Bratasena. The latter is an Episode where Bima after a long search of Tirtapawitra (A Sanskrit word for Magical Water of Knowledge that can bring one close to God - in Ara-bic it is Ma’rifat) eventually encountered Dewa Ruci, a diminutive double of Bima who in fact was Bima’s own true INNER SELF]. No wonder Bima Bungkus and Dewa Ruci are Bapak’s two best-loved epi-sodes of Mahabarata. Subagio, Adelaide, Australia.

THE BIRTH OF BIMA

16 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

NEWS IN BRIEF IBU RAHAYU IN JAPAN Subud Japan is pleased to announce that Ibu Rahayu will attend our Kejiwaan Gathering and 45th National Congress to be held from 1st to 5th May in Chiba, approx. 40 minutes by train from Narita Airport. This event will be combined with the Subud Japan National Congress. To apply, please fill in the registration form. To get the form and for any other enquiries contact Ichiro Nakamura (email:arumakan@big.or.jp) or Subud Japan, 1-9-22 Saginuma, Miyamae-ku, Kawasaki-shi, Japan. Fax: 81-44-855-0290 email:sam@bekkoame.ne.jp HAMMOND WINS OSCAR Hammond Peek from New Zealand and colleagues who worked on the sound of the Lord of the Rings trilogy were awarded the Oscar (Academy Award) for the final film in the trilogy. Congratula-tions Hammond! The film received a total of eleven Oscars including Best Film and Best Director. ASIAN ZONE MEETING Mardijah Simpson, Area 1 International Helper writes… “The next Asia-Pacific Zone meeting will be in KL in early June just prior to the WSC to be held at Rungan Sari. This will end just before 22nd to enable those that wish to go over to Jakarta for Bapak's birthday. Susila Dharma International will hold its AGM in KL at the same time as the Zone 1 meeting – Kumari’s sugges-tion. When we tested how this would be it was exceptional!” NEW LATIHAN PLACE IN LISBON Heidi writes from Portugal… ”I have some very stimulating and fresh news about Lisbon group: we just rented, with the option to buy it within 3 years, a new place for latihans in Lisbon. It is big with good facilties and centrally located. “Susila Darma Portugal is our partner in this and has projects for promoting activi-ties there for older and younger people. SIHA Portugal was asked to give some contribution, promoting health and treat-ments activities and consultations. ”After a less active period we finally are moving and growing. Isn't it wonderful? This very afternoon we will have an open national council meeting to discuss projects to implement, and will visit the new place.”

KEJIWAAN WEEKEND IN FRANCE Kejiwaan weekend in May at the Char-treuse de Valbonne in the Ardèche, South of France; Afternoon Fri 14th, Sat 15th , Sun 16th After lunch. Contact Er-ica Sapir e-mail ericasapir@wanadoo.fr. Tel (00 33 )466 5O 88 O3. Mélinda Lassalle e-mail leonard.lassalle@wanadoo.fr Tel (00 33 )490 65 12 42 LOVE, MARRIAGE & SEX Dominic Rieu I originally wrote this booklet in 1979. Other books and articles of mine are full of my profound seriousness and deep frivolity. This booklet is different, it is devoid of any ego: not an idea or phrase in it of mine; everything is Bapak’s. The booklet has been long out of print and I felt that it was time for it to be re-printed. The last passage alone "Marriage and the act of love", a superb panegyric of 'love as the bliss of our being,' would be worth publishing alone. And Ibu Ra-hayu has been giving many talks about the subject. I want to thank Leonard Hurd, Manager of SPI (Subud Publications International) for seeing the booklet through to press, and Marcus Bolt for designing the witty front cover. It made me laugh when I first saw it. All proceeds from the sale of this booklet go to SPI. 'Love, Marriage & Sex' - £2.00 UK. £2.15 Europe £2.50 rest of world (inc p&p) or buy 5 for £9.00 UK. £10.00 Europe £11.50 rest of world. available from: Subud Publications International Loudwater Farm, Loudwater Lane Rickmansworth Herts WD3 4HG Tel: +44 1727 762210 Fax: +44 1727 858080 e-mail: spi@subudbooks.co.uk SKY BOUNCE WINS AWARD Deanna Miller who lives in Virginia and works in D.C. has won the Religion Communicators Council's 2004 Wilbur Award for her book Sky Bounce. There's more info. About Deanna on the “About the Author” page of her web site: www.deannamiller.com/skyauthor.html. Sky Bounce, a fantasy for ages 10 and up written by Deanna Miller, has won the Religion Communicators Council's 2004 Wilbur Award for fiction. RCC is an

interfaith organization of professional religion communicators, and the Wilbur Awards are given in various categories to “recognize excellence in the commu-nication of religious issues, values, and themes in the secular media,” as stated at www.religioncommunicators.org/competitions.html. Deanna Miller, Deanna6200@aol.com TIME OUT IN THE CENTRAL AUSTRALIAN DESERT

Ever since we started taking young Subud members on the inner and outer adventure we call the Yes Quest, we have had older members pleading with us: “Why not do one for us? We need that too.” Well, if you are over 30 and want to ex-perience the remarkable red centre of Australia and explore some of your own stuff, now is your chance. Between May 5 – 19, we are taking a group of 15 members out into the deserts of Central Australia for the time of their lives. You will be looked after by a group of professionally qualified Subud facilita-tors and be given that increasingly rare opportunity: time out - from your family, your job, perhaps even your Subud group (!!) - to really focus on your own needs for a while. You will have the chance to reflect on your past, vision the future and share the whole experience with Subud brothers and sisters from around the world - fresh insights, new life options, spectacular scenery in a world heritage environment, some physical challenge, and a great deal of love and support. Bookings can be made on line at http://www.yesquest.org/ or by email at info@yesquest.org. Bookings close 25 April but, if you get in early and book before 26 March, you will receive a 10% discount off the AUD2,200 price (excludes air fares). Be warned though, this may change your life. Are you up for it? And for the younger ones, don’t forget the great Ka-limantan Quest coming up 6 – 19 July. Freeman Wyllie, Australia.

17 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

18 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

Letters Continued from page 7. Twice a week they are invited to come to the school but some are afraid of going to school as they might not fit in and they may lose the earning that they would not receive if they attended. The average earn-ing is 10 Rupees (30c) per day and the average wage is 150-200 Rupees (roughly between 4 – 5 Australian dollars) per month. The children are sent out to earn for their families and have no choice. One girl Reia gets up very proudly to demonstrate that she has learnt how to write her name, she is 11 years old. The rest of the small group of 10 children get up one by one and intro-duce themselves by saying their name, their age and where they work. Some don’t work and just hang around the street or go with their mothers while they work. It was a holiday in India on the day I visited, Republic Day. It meant more than a day off from work for the child labourers in Bangalore. We visit another small room were a differ-ent group of girls the same age have or-ganised a play with their teachers. They explain that one of the characters is a dead girl but for the play she will be speaking. It is performed in their local language Tamil and translated for us. One child, who is actually disabled, asks “God why did you make me disabled and also so ugly”. The other dead character replies, “At least you are alive. Because I was a girl I was killed”. The issue portrayed in the play and that the children in India face are shocking but the real message that was given is that the children like to go to school to learn and feel alive. The trip ended with the donation of gifts for the children that included saris and new clothes. The joy and the smiles that came from the children in our thanks for performing and their thanks for our presence is an image that I must hold with me. I must remember what is important and not to get caught up in things that interfere with my own devel-opment and with my efforts to help others develop. My journey through India is far from over and I feel as though I have been here much longer than I have. I am sure I will see many more things that will add to my overall experience but for now I thank you for sharing my experience and peace and happiness to you all. Atika Fraval, Australia.

WORLD LATIHANS I have asked our regional helper to put forward to the international body a pro-posal to have World Latihans every Sun-day. There must be others like myself who de-cide they will do the World Latihan the next Sunday it is due and then for one rea-son or another find it has come and gone and has been missed yet again. And of course there must be many mem-bers who are not even aware that World Latihans take place – never mind when! If a timetable could be prepared covering a twelve-month period I am sure that many more members would manage at least a few Sundays in the year. Timetables could be distributed to all members by group secretaries who could pick up the informa-tion from the Subud website. That on any Sunday of the year, Subud members from all parts of the world are joining together in the Latihan has a real appeal to me. How do other members feel about the idea? Jill Flanders, South Devon Group, England. jill.flanders@virgin.net APOLOGY TO SOFYAN BRUGGER Thank you for the excellent editions of Subud Voice that arrive regularly. We look forward to the publications as there are many articles of great interest that are also enjoyable to read. It helps us feel connected to the Subud organization and reminds us of our own experiences in doing the latihan, our good fortune to have lived near Bapak in Cilan-dak, and how lucky we are to have re-ceived this grace from God. I am also pleased that you are printing more talks from Bapak. The early talks are very deep and of great interest. The talk from Vol. 1 reprinted in the February edition is my husband, Sofyan Brugger’s translation. There is no mention of his name as transla-tor in the Subud Voice which is not consis-tent with your general practice. I would be grateful if you would print an apology for the omission. Sofyan has translated 121 of

the talks contained in Volumes 1-8, and possibly more. It was decided by ISP to omit the name of individual translators at the end of each talk beginning with Vol-ume 2. This is rather unfortunate because in fact all 22 of the talks in Volume 2 are Sofyan’s translations. Two years ago ISP promised an insert to Volume 2 to correct this rather serious oversight, but to date we have never seen one. In Vol-umes 3-8 which contain about 90 of Sofyan’s translations, he is mentioned in the foreward. Congratulations, again on your success-ful publications of Subud Voice. Halimah Brugger, Boise, Idaho, USA hbrugger@boisestate.edu Editor’s Note: We thank Halimah for drawing this to our attention. Of course at the time of publication we did not know the translation was by Sofyan.

BRING ON THE LATIHAN

I'm 28, nearly 29, still young, quite new in Subud and still learning. Whilst chat-ting to my brother about the benefits of the latihan, I realized that we only do latihan twice a week for half an hour at a time. Which means that we only do lati-han, on average 4 hours a month, which = 48 hours which equates to 2 days a year.

So by the time I’ve been in Subud for 10 years, it would mean that I’ve only done latihan for 20 days and like some of our older members who’ve been in Subud for 40 years, do you realize that you would have only done latihan for 80 days?, that is, only if you’ve diligently attended latihan twice a week!

It doesn’t seem like much does it? espe-cially if you compare it to Bapak’s 1000 nights of latihan, but we shouldn’t com-pare...

Then my brother pointed out that helpers have extra latihan sessions and better still, if you attend any National or Inter-national Subud Gathering you spend most of your day doing latihan and test-ing. And when you listen to talks you’re usually also in a state of latihan.

The moral of my story is that I, for one, will be attending the next International Congress and although it is quality and not quantity that counts, I still feel that I have lots and lots to learn and a lot of necessary latihan to do.

Eesa Rafiq Sadien, South Africa

DAUGHTER’S RESPONSE

19 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

In the last issue we published a statement by PT S Widjojo regarding the dispute with the BSB Trust, In the interest of fairness, in this issue we include these different points of view… From Bank Susila Bakti Residual Assets Trust February 25, 2004

In February 1998, following twelve years of complex offers and counter-offers, PT S. Widjojo (PTSW) purchased from the BSB Residual Assets Trust (BSBT), for a sum of US$3,060,000, BSBT’s ownership rights to the S. Widjojo Centre Bank Floor and 144,960 shares of Kalimantan Invest-ment Corporation stock. The mortgage loan from BSBT, by which PTSW financed their purchase, required a small amount of interest (0.57 % per year for 5 years), and that was paid as agreed. But in December 2002, the loan principal came due and payable, and went unpaid and into default. Under the terms of the loan agreement, PTSW has since that time been required to pay BSBT additional in-terest of 18% per annum, and only about a quarter of that has been paid.

In October 2003, PTSW, with no prior notification to BSBT, obtained a ruling from a South Jakarta District Court judge to terminate the BSBT-PTSW loan agree-ment without requiring payment to BSBT. PTSW has since sent a fifteen-page defence of their actions to each BSBT Trustee, BSBT Beneficiary, and PTSW Shareholder. BSBT's reaction is clearly expressed by BSBT’s attorney, William Benjamin (Hale and Dorr LLP - Boston), in his De-cember 2003 letter to the PTSW attorney, Timothy Manring:

“The ruling of the District Court of South Jakarta which was issued on October 16, 2003 was apparently obtained by PT S. Widjojo based on fraudulent misrepresen-tations and omissions concerning the status of the subject Loan Agreement and the related Transfer of Right and Interest. BSB Residual Assets Trust intends to challenge this ruling through all legal means at its disposal and have its Security Interest reinstated.

You are hereby put on notice that any at-tempt by PT S. Widjojo to sell or encum-ber the property without regard to the Se-curity Interest held by BSB Residual As-sets Trust will lead to further damages for which BSB Residual Assets Trust will hold PT S. Widjojo fully responsible.”

PTSW asserts they have been forced into this situation – “cornered” – by the threat of the BSBT loan in default. This is simply not true. At Spinkhill, UK, in August 2002, BSBT offered to extend their loan for two more years with little or no interest. That offer was ignored by PTSW, and during the fourteen months between Spinkhill and the present action, not a single inquiry was made by PTSW of BSBT as to their intentions. And dur-ing the twelve months of default, BSBT has never attempted in any way to fore-close on PTSW property. Copies of several pertinent documents will be posted online: http://www3.telus.net/open/bsbrat/. BSBT beneficiaries ONLY may obtain others, which are not public documents, by email: michaelirwin@shaw.ca . Please write in English and include your full name and phone number. The fiduciary requirements of BSB Trust Co., Ltd. leave its directors no choice but to defend the assets of the BSBT benefici-aries. But it is sad indeed that the remains of Bapak’s two fine enterprises are ex-pending their dwindling resources in a fight with one another. We sincerely hope the Directors of PTSW will reconsider their position, and reinstate the BSBT-PTSW loan agreement and mortgage with-out forcing BSBT to incur further legal expense. Marzuki Andujar, Director Robert Coker, Director Valentine Goebel, Director Michael Irwin, Director Bachtiar Lorot, Director George H. Helmer, Consultant Indonesian and Wisma Subud residents wish to circulate this letter regarding the PTSW and BSB Trustees discussion. Dear Laurencio In the situation that we now face concern-ing the claims of the BSB Trustees against PTSW, we, as a group, remember Bapak's words that he spoke to us and the feelings accompanying them: "You are Subud and Subud is you". We know that the history of these claims between BSB Trustees and PTSW are complex. What is clear is that all investors in PTSW have suffered financial losses, some more than others, but all are fortu-nate to have been beneficiaries of the lati-han kejiwaan of Subud - an incalculable benefit to each one of us.

We are shocked and dismayed at the pros-pect of a legal battle between these two Subud enterprises of Yang Mulia Bapak and we strongly recommend that the two parties seek arbitration within our Subud family and not in the courts. We should like to remind you of Bapak's words again concerning enterprises, given in his talk on 11 June, 1977 at the S.Widjojo Centre on the occasion of the selamatan for BSB when they moved into the Mezzanine floor: "Bapak is always urging you to work and run enterprises. But there are dangers and obstacles for people who run enterprises, brothers and sisters, and in particular for all of you. These obstacles lie in your lack of harmony in doing what you do. For if you are to have strength beyond the ordi-nary, the strength to able to actualize what has been envisaged, it will only be because of people who are in harmony and who respect one another, love one another and help one another. When there is a question of mistakes or of whom is to blame, there is no human being who does not make mistakes. The only one who does not make mistakes is Almighty God." Let us remember those words of advice and act upon them. Muchtarudin and Tati Siregar Riduan Tompkins Amaliya Lerrigo Sjamsudin Arifin Sulastri Rusli Alif Abdurachman and Rohana Mitchell Maryam Kibble Asikin Alwi M.Aisjah Roberts From Ir.Haryono Sumohadiwidjojo, Indonesia, comments on the path taken by S. Widjojo To me the resolving is legally right, but morally very wrong. I would like to re-mind everybody here that the transactions between Subud fellow members and Subud fellow institution/companies were not pre-conditioned to have a “water tight” legalisation, and so having some legal weaknesses. These transactions are mostly carried out based on good faith and noble intention. In the past we used to do what Bapak told us to do, and we never anticipate failure. So morally I am convinced that ex.BSB shareholders’ claim on the Mezaninne Floor is genuine and one that has reality.

S WIDJOJO AND BSB TRUST IN DISPUTE

20 SUBUD VOICE - April 2004

EVENTS

APRIL 2-4: Subud Switzerland National Con-gress at Ruegel by Lenzburg. For details contact Elisa Leuthold at: elisa.leuthold@bluewin.ch 5-11: Zone 3 Meeting at São Domingos de Rana, near Lisbon, Portugal. Contact muchtarmartins@mail.telepac.pt for details. 21-29: Ibu Rahayu visiting Christchurch and Aukland, New Zealand 24-25: Subud Norway's Annual General Meeting in Oslo 29-May 7: Ibu Rahayu visiting Tokyo, Japan JUNE 4-6: Dutch National Congress, to be held in Schoorl, Netherlands, 4-6 June. Contact: Simone.vanbeek@wanadoo.nl

24-July 2: International Youth Gather-ing at Amanecer in Colombia. Contact subudworldyouthgathering@hotmail.com 25–27: Hiking in the Alps . Markus Baumann-Bilger leads the way from

Editor’s Note: Recently, I have heard rumours that the Indonesian Government had shut down several mines in Kaliman-tan including our Subud mining operation. I rang Rahman Connelly, CEO of Kali-mantan Gold, to ask him if this was true. He replied… “The Indonesian Government recently announced new legislation which confirms that all existing mineral concessions (Contracts of Work) will be honored. “At the same time it was announced that 13 mining companies with proven com-mercial mineral deposits and whose min-ing proposals had been subject to stringent environmental checks would be exempted from forestry protection laws that had been preventing them from proceeding to mine. “Kalimantan Gold sees this as very posi-tive because it confirms that Contracts of Work will be honored and that there is a process of review on environmental mat-ters at the point a company is ready to pro-ceed to mining (which is not yet the case for Kalimantan Gold).”

KALIMANTAN GOLD

Althausen (Germany) for a day hike in beautiful surroundings. Contact: lorabilger@gmx.de 27-July 3: Zone 4 Meeting in Oslo. Contact: subudnorge@subud.no AUGUST 1-6: Baroque Tour - Pieter Killes and Markus Baumann-Bilger take you on a cycling tour in Oberschwa-ben, Germany. Contact: lorabilger@gmx.de 24-31: Creating New Visions for Education. The third Varindra T. Vittachi International Conference at the Pearson Peacekeeping Centre in Nova Scotia, Canada. Contact: info@transformedu.org

MUSIC BY SUBUD ARTISTS

Robert Millard ‘Piano Recital’ £11.00 Hamilton Camp ‘Mardi’s Bard’ £12.50 Mira’nda ‘So Bravely Human’ £12.50 Marius Kahan ‘Tomorrow’s Memories’ £10.00 Isles Theatre Co ‘The Isles’ £10.00 Hamish Barker ‘Natural Culture’ £10.00 Malarky ‘The Band that Plays at Night’ £10.00 Lucas Hille ‘Lost and Found’ £10.00 Musica - ‘The SICA CD’ £10.00 The DJC Collection - 16 Track Sampler £5.00 NEW CDs: Robert Millard ‘Piano Recital 2 (Chopin)’ £11.00 Adrienne Thomas ‘Speaking In Tongues’ £11.00 Harlan Cockburn ‘Ship Without Rudder’ £11.00 COMING SOON: Yamba Yamba Orchestra - ‘Rainstorm’

Prices include postage anywhere. DJC Records, 104 Constitution Hill, Norwich, NR34 BB UK. clague@paston.co.uk www.djcrecords.co.uk

SUBUD VOICE is published monthly.

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WORLD LATIHANS

April 4: 4:00 (CET) - 3:00 (GMT) May 2: 12:00 (CET) - 10:00 (GMT)

To find the corresponding time in your part of the world go to:

www.timeanddate.com/worldclock

A compilation of 53 talks given by Bapak during Ramadan, 1968 - 1987

Digitally re-mastered, these talks are available

on a single audio DVD that can be treated as a convenient library resource by an individual or by a group where each talk may be copied onto

regular CDs for the use of group members

A computer with a DVD player and mp3 software is required to play the talks

All profits from the sale of this DVD are being used

to support the Tape Preservation Unit and the ongoing effort to make Bapak’s talks available

to more members

For more information and to order online visit www.subud.net/53talks

Produced by the International Subud Committee

in association with the Tape Preservation Unit.

Got ideas for future Talk compilations ? Email: congressinitiatives@subud.net

PRICE (Incl p&p) UK £13 · Europe £14 · Other £16 ·

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Pay by UK Bank cheque or Credit Card: Subud Publications International Loudwater Farm, Loudwater Lane, Rickmansworth, Herts, WD3 4HG, UK Tel: 44 (0) 1727 762210 Fax: 44 (0) 1727 858080

e-mail: spi@subudbooks.co.uk

11 B A P A K ’ S T A L K S

VOLUME AVAILABLE NOW