The Therapist in Mourning: From the Faraway Nearby -- excerpt

7/23/2019 The Therapist in Mourning: From the Faraway Nearby -- excerpt

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2/13

`jWrnguFW`nj

`j Whd nbbnw`je pkeds" wd rddft nj thd dxpdr`djfd n skgjdss kjg er`d kt

vkr`nus mnmdjts thrnuehnut thd b`d n k thdrkp`st* Ud spdf`fkbby kggrdss

snmd n thd kftnrs thkt mkad `t g`lfubt nr thdrkp`sts tn kfajnwbdged kjg

spdka konut thd strnje dmnt`njs thdy djfnujtdr nvdr thd fnursd n thd`r

prndss`njkb b`vds* Ud rdv`dw snmd n thd wkys prdv`nus wr`tdrs hkvd fnj-fdptukb`zdg thd prnfdss n er`d" kjg" jkbby" wd `jtrngufd thd jnt`nj n thd

m`ggbd-g`stkjfd ks k rkmdwnra nr fnjs`gdr`je thd dxpdr`djfd n er`d

kjg mnurj`je*

Uhkt krd snmd n thd fhkbbdjeds thkt mkad `t g`lfubt nr thdrkp`sts tn

kggrdss g`rdftby thd ddb`jes edjdrktdg oy thd mubt`tugd n bnssds wd dxpdr`-

djfd> @j pkrt`fubkr" ddb`jes n kttkfhmdjt" bnss" kjg snrrnw fkj od dbus`vd

kjg fnmpbdx* Ks thdrkp`sts" wd ndj djfnujtdr k pkrkgnx3 kbthnueh wd

spdjg nur wnra`je hnurs bkredby `j thd fnmpkjy n nthdrsthkt `s" w`th nurpkt`djtswd krd `j mkjy wkys kbnjd w`th nur thnuehts" nur ddb`jes" kjg

nur rddft`njs konut thd wnra* Ud hkvd" n fnursd" kmpbd nppnrtuj`ty tn

wnra kbnjes`gd nur fnbbdkeuds" fnjsubt w`th thdm" kjg bdkrj rnm thdm" out

`j thd fnjsubt`je rnnm" wd krd nj nur nwj* Ud gdf`gd whdj tn `jtdrvdjd"

whdj tn wk`t" whkt tn sky" kjg hnw tn sky `t* Kt thd skmd t`md" wd try tn pky

kttdjt`nj tn nur nwj sh``je dmnt`njkb stktds* Vufh k sdjsd n kbnjdjdss

fkj od pkrt`fubkrby pkbpkobd" dvdj ujodkrkobd" kt t`mds n dxtrdmd er`d nr

dmnt`njkb pk`j* Ks Korkhkm \drehdsd (;008" 67;) wr`tds3

Gdsp`td kbb nur erkjg snf`dt`ds" mdmodrsh`ps" dbbnwsh`ps dkfh w`th `ts

kjjukb guds kjg fdrt`fktds kjg fdrdmnj`kbs" wd krd hnrr`oby kbnjd* Wd

Fnpyr`ehtdg Mktdr`kb


3/13

? ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

gnftnrs wnrbg `s njd whdrd nur nwj ddb`jespkrt`fubkrby thnsd n pk`j

kjg hurtkrd jnt dks`by dxprdssdg" dvdj thnueh pkt`djts krd djfnurkedg

tn dxprdss thdm tn us* Ud trust nur fnbbdkeuds" wd shnw prnpr`dty kjg

rdf`prnf`ty" wd hkvd thd sf`djt`f ajnwbdged" wd bdkrj dmpkthy" out wdrkrdby dxpnsd nur nwj dmnt`njs*

Vn" tnn" thdrkp`sts rkrdby dxpnsd thd`r nwj ddb`jes* @j thd fnjsubt`je rnnm"

wd" tnn" djfnujtdr whkt \drehdsd fkbbs thd s`bdjt out tdrròbd fnbbus`nj tn

fnvdr up pk`j*

whdj Whdrkp`sWs pdrsnjkb kjg prnldss`njkb

wnrbgs Fnbb`gd

Ks thdrkp`sts" wd odb`dvd thkt jg`je mdkj`je" frdkt`je k fnhds`vd jkrrkt`vd"

kjg e`v`je vn`fd tn snrrnw" pk`j" kjg fnjus`nj kbb prnmntd hdkb`je kjg

rddgnm rnm `jhò`t`njs* W`s e`vds r`sd tn jdw" mnrd kgkpt`vd fnjstrufts"

mnrd `jt`mktd kjg ubbb`je rdbkt`njsh`ps" kjg k mnrd pns`t`vd v`dw n b`d*Pdt thdrd krd t`mds whdj dkfh n us strueebds tn mk`jtk`j snmd g`stkjfd"

tn addp nur thdrkpdut`f stkjfd* Wdsd mnmdjts ndj fnmd whdj wd ddb

ujhdbpub nr hdbpbdss `j thd kfd n k thdrkpdut`f prnfdss thkt hks odfnmd

fhknt`f" ujwnrakobd" fnjus`je" nr nut n fnjtrnb* Uhdj wd jn bnjedr ddb

wd hkvd kjyth`je thdrkpdut`f tn ndr nur pkt`djts" wd ddb bnst* V`m`bkrby"

whdj wd bnsd k pkt`djt" wd fkjjnt hdbp out wnjgdr whkt wdjt wrnje* Mkjy

whn fnjtròutdg tn th`s vnbumd nujg thdmsdbvds wnjgdr`je" Uhkt mnrd

fnubg @ hkvd gnjd> Uh`bd rkt`njkbby ajnw`je thkt wd g`g thd odst wd fnubg"wd krd jnjdthdbdss bd w`th nur nwj mus`jes kjg ujkjswdrkobd qudst`njs*

Wd ujdxpdftdg bnss nr gdkth n k pkt`djt" nr k pdrsnjkb bnss" `s kj dxpdr`-

djfd thkt fkj djedjgdr sufh ddb`jes n hdbpbdssjdss* Vn" tnn" fkj pdrsnjkb

fhkjeds thkt kdft nur ko`b`ty tn ujft`nj" sufh ks `bbjdss" ke`je" nr phys`fkb

`jfkpkf`ty*

Uhdj wd wnra w`th nur pkt`djts" thdy tkad up rds`gdjfd `j nur `jtdrjkb

wnrbg `j k pkrt`fubkr wky thkt `s uj`qud tn nur sdb-ks-thdrkp`st* Nur wnra-

`je sdbvds gdvdbnp krnujg thd `jtdrjkb mdkj`jes thkt nur pkt`djts hkvd nr

us* Wdy odfnmd" `j k sdjsd" k sèj`fkjt kfdt n nur nwj `jjdr bkjgsfkpd*

Dvdry t`md k pkt`djt bdkvds kjg" pdrhkps dspdf`kbby" whdj thd gdpkrturd `s

suggdj nr njd-s`gdgwhdthdr thd pkt`djt jn bnjedr wkjts thd thdrkpy"



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` j t r n g u F t ` n j 6

gdf`gds tn mnvd" bnsds `jtdrdst `j thd wnra" nr jn bnjedr bàds thd thdrkp`st

`t rdsnjktds `j k pkrt`fubkr wky nr thd thdrkp`st" ks k fdrtk`j rderdt nr hnb-

bnwjdss" ` njby mnmdjtkr`by* Ud fnjt`jud nj" nthdr pkt`djts fnmd kjg en"

out wdvd bnst kj `jtderkb pkrt n whn wd krd3 jnt njby thd kftukb pkt`djt outwhkt thd pkt`djt hks fnmd tn rdprdsdjt nr us*

Nvdr thd fnursd n nur prndss`njkb b`vds" wd `mmdrsd nursdbvds `j thd

wnra `j wkys thkt krd jnt tkueht tn us out thkt gdvdbnp kjg gddpdj nvdr

t`md ks wd dxpdr`djfd kjg bdkrj mnrd w`th kjg konut nur pkt`djts* Wus" ks

thdrkp`sts" wd fkrry dvdry bnss w`th us `jtn thd fnjsubt`je rnnmwhdthdr

thd gdkth n k pkt`djt" k pdrsnjkb bnss wd krd mnurj`je" nr k fktkstrnph`f

dvdjt thkt hks ebnokb `mpkft* Ud er`dvd nr thd pdrsnj" thd pbkfd" kjg thd

wnrbg wd njfd ajdw thkt `s jnw enjd" out wd kbsn er`dvd nr thkt kspdft n

nur wnra`je sdb thkt hkg dx`stdg `j rdbkt`nj tnnr ks k ujft`nj nthkt

pkrt`fubkr pdrsnj nr pbkfd*

Hnw thd thdrkp`st wnras thrnueh sufh dxpdr`djfds mky od" `j snmd

wkys" uj`qud tn nur prndss`nj kjg snmdwhkt kpkrt rnm thd fnmmnj r`tds

wd nosdrvd `j nur fubturd* @j thd gky-tn-gky wnrbg" km`b`kr r`tukbs sufh ks

ujdrkbs sdrvd tn mkra thd bnss kjg tn kfajnwbdged thd snrrnw thkt kffnm-

pkj`ds gdkth* Ud tdbb stnr`ds tn rdmdmodr kjg tn pky tròutd* K bèht-hdkrtdgcnad" k wkrm mdmnry" kj nutpnur`je n kdft`nj kbb sndj thd dgeds n nur

er`d kjg mkad `t mnrd odkrkobd* Lnr dxkmpbd" kt thd ujdrkb n thd kthdr

n njd n thd fndg`tnrs" kj nbg kjg gdkr r`djg spnad dbnqudjtby konut hdr

bnje r`djgsh`p w`th h`m" wh`fh spkjjdg twn fnjt`jdjts" k fktkstrnph`f

wkr" twn Jdw Pnra F`ty onrnuehs" mkrr`keds" km`b`ds" kjg fnujtbdss mdkbs

n k Ynb`sh fnjfnft`nj ajnwj njby ks ekbkrdtk" k erdkt kvnr`td* Njby bktdr

wks `t g`sfnvdrdg thkt kbb thnsd ydkrs" shdg oddj sdrv`je fkb s nnt cdbby+

Uhdj thd r`djg stdppdg gnwj rnm thd pngùm" shd tr`ppdg nj thd ont-tnm stdp* Vtdkgy`je hdrsdb kek`jst thd fksadt" shd sm`bdg* dkrs spkrabdg `j

hdr dyds ks shd sk`g" Wdrd ynu krd" nbg r`djg" kbwkys fktfh`je md whdj

@ kbb* Wd rnnm n mnurjdrs druptdg `jtn wkrm bkuehtdr" rdmdmodr`je

h`s strdjeth kjg prdsdjfd n m`jg* @t wks ks ` hdr rdmkra hkg rdsurrdftdg

h`m thdj kjg thdrd* Wd nrfd n thd fnbbdft`vd mdmnry hkg fnjcurdg

h`m up*

@j th`s wky" whdj snmdnjd wd bnvd g`ds" sufh r`tukbsthd ujdrkb" thd

wkad" km`by v`s`ts" mnurjdrs prkydrssdrvd ks sfknbg`je nr nur er`d*

Km`g thd f`rfbd n er`dvdrs" thdsd ujdrkb r`tukbs prnv`gd k wky tn fnjtk`j

kjg tdmpdr nvdrwhdbm`je ddb`jes n bnss kjg er`d" tn rdfnjst`tutd k sdjsd

n stko`b`ty kjg fnhds`nj `j thd kfd n suggdj fhkjeds" kjg tn hdbp thd



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7 ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

mnurjdr ddb hdbg" suppnrtdg" kjg kobd tn put wnrgs tn pnwdrub kjg gdstk-

o`b`z`je dmnt`njs* Vufh r`tukbs" pdrhkps bàd kjy r`td n pkssked" sustk`j thd

odrdkvdg* Uhdj wd krd rdd tn mnurj `j puob`f kjg nur dxprdss`njs n er`d"

rked" kjg gdspk`r krd ujgdrstnng kjg kffdptdg" thd prnfdss n er`dv`je kjgfnm`je tn tdrms w`th bnss fkj ode`j `ts bnje" erkgukb ujurb`je*

Lnr thdrkp`sts er`dv`je k bnss" thdsd km`b`kr r`tds n er`d kjg mnurj-

`je krd ndj jnt kvk`bkobd* Odfkusd n thd `jtr`fkf`ds n nur wnra`je sdbvds

kjg thd fnmpbdx jkturd n nur t`ds tn nur pkt`djts" wd prnfdss nur er`d

nj mubt`pbd bdvdbs* Nur mnurj`je `s fnmpb`fktdg oy thd `g`nsyjfrks`ds n

nur wnra* Lnr dxkmpbd" k thdrkp`st mky kttdjg thd ujdrkb n k pkt`djt" kjg

hd nr shd w`bb bàdby dxpdr`djfd k obdjg n dmnt`njs thdrd* @t `s ndj ks `

wd krd `jv`sòbd kmnje thd mnurjdrs" whn krd kosnrodg `j thd`r er`d" thd

sdrv`fd" kjg thd pr`vkfy n thd`r bnss* Mnst n thdm gn jnt ajnw us* Ud s`t

kmnje thdm out fkjjnt shkrd nur nwj rdfnbbdft`njs" rdmdmorkjfds n" kjg

rdbkt`njsh`p tn thd gdfdksdg* Ud mky wnjgdr whdthdr nur pkt`djts km`by

`s kobd tn tkad snbkfd kjg fnmnrt rnm nur prdsdjfd* Gn wd odbnje thdrd"

kmnje thd mnurjdrs" sdda`je tn snnthd thd`r pk`j kjg er`d ks wdbb ks" pdr-

hkps" nur nwj>

Ks thdrkp`sts" wd krd tkueht tn od wkry bdst nur `jtdrjkb stktds `jtrugd`jtn thd kjkbyt`f spkfd kjg jtdrdrd w`th thd `jtder`ty n nur wnra* Ud try tn

mk`jtk`j thd prdfkr`nus okbkjfd odtwddj od`je kwkrd djnueh n nur ob`jg

spnts w`thnut kbbnw`je thkt kwkrdjdss tn s`gdtrkfa nr m`sbdkg us* @ wd krd

bufay" thdj wd fkj usd whkt wd ajnw n nur sh``je `jtdrjkb stktds tn shdg

bèht nj thd thdrkpdut`f wnra* @ wd krd fkrdbdss" thdj wd fkj od bdg kstrky

oy thd `jtdjs`ty n nur nwj ujfnjsf`nus rdspnjsds tn k pkt`djt nr k p`dfd n

thd prnfdss*

@j nur wr`t`je kjg `j whkt wd shkrd w`th nur fnbbdkeuds `j k puob`f n-rum" wd krd tkueht tn sdda g`sfrdt`nj" tn jnt rdvdkb tnn mufh n nursdbvds

d`thdr `j thd fnjsubt`je rnnm nr nuts`gd n `t* Hnwdvdr" thdrd `s k fnst tn

mk`jtk`j`je tnn s`jeubkr k nfus nj kvn`g`je sdb-dxpnsurd* K g`skpprnv-

`je nr fnjgdmjktnry stkjfd kmnje fnbbdkeuds fnubg sèj`fkjtby `jtdrdrd

w`th nur ko`b`ty tn shkrd nur nrg`jkry prndss`njkb bnssds kjg tn bdkrj rnm

njd kjnthdr konut hnw wd odkr thdrkpdut`f bnss* Ks Vkjgrk Oudfhbdr (?999"

87) wr`tds" Ud wnubg od ujbàdby" ` k fnbbdkeud" nr r`djg" nr rdbkt`vd g`dg

nr pdrmkjdjtby bd" tn dxpdft nursdbvds tn mnvd nj w`thnut er`dv`je* Out

odfkusd" `j snmd ujgkmdjtkb sdjsd" nur rnbd djfnurkeds thd gdj`kb n thd

pdrsnjkb `mpkft n nur rdbkt`njsh`ps w`th pkt`djts" wd kbsn gdjy thd pdr-

snjkb mdkj`je n thd`r gdkth nr gdpkrturd*



6/13


W`s sdjsd n `snbkt`nj kjg bnjdb`jdss ubt`mktdby drngds nur fkpkf`ty tn

odkr er`d kjg tn en nj od`je hdbpub* Ks Vyo`b Hnubg`je wr`tds `j hdr fhkp-

tdr" W`s wks thd th`rg t`md k pkt`djt hkg g`dg `j vd ydkrs" kjg @ wnjgdrdg

` @ hkg thd psyfh`f djdrey tn gn thd wnra n mnurj`je* Out whkt fhn`fdg`g @ hkvd> @ dbt t`rdg kjg nj snmd bdvdb rdsdjtub thkt th`s hkg hkppdjdg

kek`j* * * * @ kbsn ajdw konut thd tnbb kjg trkcdftnry n mnurj`je k pkt`djt njd

hks bnst tn gdkth* En`je thrnueh thd prnfdss n mnurj`je fkj gdpbdtd us

psyfh`fkbby kjg phys`fkbby* Hnwdvdr" odkr`je `t kbnjd" w`th thd vkeud sdjsd

thkt wd krd ddb`je mnrd thkj wd nueht tn od nr ddb`je th`jes wd fkjjnt

npdjby g`sfuss w`th nur fnbbdkeuds" rujs thd r`sa n nvdrtkx`je nur ko`b`ty

tn gn nur wnra wdbb* Wd prnfdss n er`dv`je kjg wnra`je thrnueh bnss `s

fnmpbdx*

er`dl kjg odrdkvdMdjW3 kj nvdrv`dw

Nvdr thd bkst y ydkrs" thd b`tdrkturd nj er`d kjg odrdkvdmdjt hks prnb`dr-

ktdg* Yrkft`t`njdrs hkvd dxkm`jdg thd jkturd n odrdkvdmdjt kfrnss k ornkgspdftrum n humkj dxpdr`djfd" rnm bns`je k bnvdg njd tn wnra`je `j djg-

n-b`d fkrd* @jgddg" thd dbg n odrdkvdmdjt hks gdvdbnpdg `jtn `ts nwj krdk

n spdf`kbty" w`th hujgrdgs n krt`fbds kjg onnas kggrdss`je dvdry kspdft n

gdkth kjg gy`je* Uh`bd wd fkjjnt hnpd tn fnvdr thd ordkgth kjg rkjed n

th`s tnp`f" wd ndr hdrd k or`d nvdrv`dw n thd h`stnr`fkb fnjtdxt kjg fur-

rdjt th`ja`je konut bnss kjg er`d*;

Mnurj`je `s thd prnfdss n er`dv`je thd rupturd n kjy mdkj`jeub kt-

tkfhmdjt" whdthdr thd gdkth n k s`ej`fkjt pdrsnj nr thd bnss n k pbkfd nrdvdj njds sdjsd n sdb*? Yrnnujg er`d `s k jnrmkb kjg fnmpbdx dxpdr`djfd

thkt mkj`dsts ks gdvkstkt`je skgjdss* @ts fnursd `s gdtdrm`jdg oy k jumodr

n kftnrs" `jfbug`je thd t`m`je n thd gdkth" thd s`ej`fkjfd n thd pdrsnj

bnst" thd gdvdbnpmdjtkb t`mdrkmd" prdv`nus bnssds" thd mnurjdrs den ujf-

t`nj`je" thd fubturkb fnjtdxt `j wh`fh thd gdkth nffurrdg" thd prdsdjfd n k

suppnrt`vd fnmmuj`ty" thd pdrsnjkb mdkj`je n thd bnss" kjg nthdr kftnrs*

Wd dkrby stked n gddp bnss `s fhknt`f kjg nvdrwhdbm`je* @t `s k o`nbne`-

fkbby rkw stktd thkt fkj `jfbugd shnfa" jumojdss" kjg g`snrekj`zkt`nj* _kp-

`gby sh``je dxpdr`djfds n `jtdjsd dmnt`nj mky `mmdrsd thd `jg`v`gukb `j

ujprdg`ftkobd kjg `jtdjsd oursts n `jfnjsnbko`b`ty nr ddb`jes n gdkgjdss

kjg g`ssnf`kt`nj* Uddp`je" bnje`je" sdkrfh`je" rr`tko`b`ty" kjedr" kjg kjx`dty



7/13

< ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

mky kbb od prdsdjt* Ndj thdrd `s sbddpbdssjdss" kt`eud" phys`fkb pk`j" kjg

bnss n kppdt`td* Vkmudb Cnhjsnj gdsfr`ods `t ks k stktd n wkjgdr`je" bnst kjg

g`sfnjjdftdg rnm thd wnrbg3 @ hkvd dvdr s`jfd sddmdg tn mysdb ornadj

n rnm mkja`jg1 k a`jg n snb`tkry wkjgdrdr `j thd w`bg n b`d" w`thnutkjy g`rdft`nj" nr xdg pn`jt n v`dw3 k ebnnmy ekzdr nj thd wnrbg tn wh`fh

@ hkvd b`ttbd rdbkt`nj (Onswdbb ;50;" ?


8/13


njdsdb rnm thd pdrsnj njd hks bnst* Lrdugs `gdk `s thkt thd wnra n

mnurj`je `s `jtdrjkb rkthdr thkj nfusdg nj thd kftukb gdkth kjg thd bnss

n thd rdbkt`njsh`p*

@j Mnurj`je kjg Mdbkjfhnb`k" Lrdug g`drdjt`ktds odtwddj jnrmkber`d kjg mnurj`je" nj thd njd hkjg" kjg thd mnrd pkthnbne`fkb" gdprds-

s`vd stktd n mdbkjfhnb`k" nj thd nthdrthd stktd n ujrdm`tt`je er`d wd

rddr tn konvd* Hd gdsfr`ods hnw thd er`dv`je prnfdss `s fnmprnm`sdg whdj

thdrd `s ujrdsnbvdg kjedr kt thd bnvdg njd" wh`fh fnmpnujgs bnss w`th g`s-

kppn`jtmdjt" rdsubt`je `j ddb`jes n eu`bt" sdb-rdprnkfh" kjg k bnss n sdb-

dstddm* @j Lrdugs thdnry" wd ujgdrstkjg thd mnurjdrs sdb-gdprdfkt`nj ks

g`spbkfdg kjedr kjg kmo`vkbdjfd* @jstdkg n w`thgrkw`je thd kttkfhmdjt

rnm thd bnvdg njd" thd kjedr kjg kmo`vkbdjfd krd rdg`rdftdg rnm thd bnst"

g`skppn`jt`je bnvdg njd kjg turjdg kek`jst thd sdb* Kffnrg`je tn Lrdug"

whdj thd mnurjdr `s kobd tn kfajnwbdged sufh eu`bt kjg sdb-rdprnkfh" hd `s

odttdr kobd tn rdg`rdft h`s kdft`nj dbsdwhdrd*

Hnwdvdr" Lrdugs thdnrdt`fkb stkjfdthkt bnss rdqu`rds gdtkfhmdjt rnm

thd bnvdg njd kjg thd suost`tut`nj n k jdw bnvd nocdft`s `j stkra fnjtrkst

tn h`s pdrsnjkb dxpdr`djfd n mnurj`je thd ujt`mdby gdkth n h`s gkueh-

tdr Vnph`d* @j k ;0?0 bdttdr fnjsnb`je k fnbbdkeud whnsd snj hkg g`dg" hdwrntd3

Kbthnueh wd ajnw thkt kdr sufh k bnss thd kfutd stked n mnurj`je w`bb

suos`gd" wd kbsn ajnw wd shkbb rdmk`j `jfnjsnbkobd kjg w`bb jdvdr jg k

suost`tutd* Jn mkttdr whkt mky bb thd ekp" dvdj ` `t od bbdg fnmpbdtdby"

`t jdvdrthdbdss rdmk`js snmdth`je dbsd* Kjg kftukbby th`s `s hnw `t shnubg

od* @t `s thd njby wky n pdrpdtukt`je thd bnvd wh`fh wd gn jnt wkjt tn

rdb`jqu`sh*(Lrdug ?996" 68


9/13

8 ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

Mdbkj`d Abd`js (;079k" ;079o) nocdft rdbkt`njs thdnry prdsdjtdg k g`dr-

djt pdrspdft`vd nj mnurj`je* Abd`j pbkfdg bdss dmphks`s nj gdtkfhmdjt

rnm thd bnst bnvdg njd" `jstdkg h`ehb`eht`je thd jddg nr rdpkrkt`nj* @j hdr

v`dw" gdkth dvnads pk`jub kjg gdstruft`vd kjtks`ds tnwkrg thd gdkg3 thdwnrbg prdv`nusby dxpdr`djfdg ks enng kjg skd `s jnw `jusdg w`th keerds-

s`vd kjg rkedub ureds* Abd`j thnueht n mnurj`je ks k t`md n rdpk`r" gur`je

wh`fh ujbdkshdg gdstruft`vd kjtks`ds krd rdfkpturdg kjg k pns`t`vd `jtdrjkb

rdbkt`njsh`p w`th thd bnst nocdft `s rddstkob`shdg*

Wd Or`t`sh kjkbyst Cnhj Onwboy (;0


10/13


k pkrdjt" fh`bg" nr spnusd* Wdy nujg thkt thd prdgnm`jkjt ddb`je wks jnt

gdprdss`nj" g`sodb`d" nr dvdj kjedr out `jstdkg ydkrj`je*

Wd dkrby v`dw n mnurj`je ks k prnfdss n erkgukb gdtkfhmdjt gnds

jnt hnbg trud nr mnst fnjtdmpnrkry thdnr`sts kjg fb`j`f`kjs* Cnhj Okadr(?99;" 59) wr`tds" K fnjt`ju`je `jtdrjkb rdbkt`njsh`p fkj fndx`st w`th thd

gdvdbnpmdjt n jdw nocdft rdbkt`njsh`ps" wh`fh `j turj djr`fh thd `jjdr

wnrbg `j thd`r nwj uj`qud wkys" Qbdkg`je tn thd] * * * fndx`stdjfd n `j-

jdr kttkfhmdjts `j thd mnurj`je `jg`v`gukb" dvdj bnje kdr thd gdkth

n thd bnvd nocdft* _nodrt Ek`jds (;005) fnjfd`vds n mnurj`je jnt ks

gdfkthdft`jeordka`je thd onjgs odtwddj thd surv`vnr kjg bnvdg

njdout `j tdrms n frdkt`je fnjt`ju`ty* Hd wr`tds thkt thd mnurjdrs

fkpkf`ty tn prdsdrvd k fnjjdft`nj w`th thd gdfdksdg bnvdg njd prntdfts

thd mnurjdr rnm mdbkjfhnb`k" nr pkthnbne`fkb mnurj`je* @jgddg" @rv`j

Pkbnm kjg Mnrtnj B`dodrmkj (;00;) fnjfbugd thkt thd dxpdr`djfd n prn-

nujg er`d gnds jnt bdssdj thd bàdb`hnng n jg`je mdkj`je kdr thd bnss

kjg n suosdqudjtby dxpdr`djf`je hdkb`je kjg pdrsnjkb ernwth* V`m`bkrby"

_nodrt Jd`mdydr (?99;) gdsfròds thkt mnv`je thrnueh er`d rdqu`rds

mdkj`je rdfnjstruft`nj" thkt `s" mk`jtk`j`je njds t`ds tn thd bnvdg njd

kjg kt thd skmd t`md rdou`bg`je njds pdrsnjkb jkrrkt`vd kjg `jtderkt`jethd rdkb`ty n thd bnss*

@j fhkptdr ; n th`s vnbumd" Adrry Mkbkw`stk kjg B`jgk Akjddbg hèh-

bèht thkt thd tksa n jnrmkb mnurj`je `s tn prdsdrvd rkthdr thkj tn sdvdr

thd `jtdrjkb rdbkt`njsh`p* @j nthdr wnrgs" thd odrdkvdg jddgs tn hnbg nj tn

thd mdmnry n thd bnvdg njd kjg" kt thd skmd t`md" rd`jvdst `j jdw enkbs*

Mnurj`je `s k fnmpb`fktdg tksa thkt rdqu`rds thd b`v`je tn kss`m`bktd thd

bnss" mk`jtk`j k pns`t`vd `jtdrjkb fnjjdft`nj tn thd bnst pdrsnj" kjg fnj-

t`jud tn jg mdkj`je `j nthdr krdks n b`d* Ks \`ftnr Lrkjab (;087) dxpbk`js"nur surv`vkb `j s`tukt`njs n bnss gdpdjgs nj nur ko`b`ty tn jg mdkj`je

`j nur er`d* Wrnueh thd prnfdss n mnurj`je" wd sdda tn odfnmd w`sdr"

strnjedr" mnrd dmpkth`f" kjg mnrd fnmpkss`njktd*

Fubturd" km`by h`stnry" kjg pdrsnjkb odb`ds pnwdrubby `judjfd thd od-

rdkvdg `jg`v`gukbs uj`qud dxpdr`djfd n mnurj`je* Lnr dxkmpbd" `j snmd

fubturds" er`d `s trdktdg ks k pr`vktd dvdjt* Dmnt`njs krd dxpdftdg tn od s`-

bdjtby fnjtk`jdg" kjg k hèh prdmùm `s pbkfdg nj mnv`je nj" oufa`je

up" kjg putt`je `t odh`jg ynu* @j nthdr fubturds" er`d `s hèhby dmnt`njkb"

gdmnjstrkt`vd" kjg puob`f* Lnr mkjy" rdbè`nus odb`ds kjg r`tukbs krd k fdj-

trkb fnmpnjdjt tn thd prnfdss n er`dv`je kjg fkj hdbp frdktd k snnth`je kjg

fnmprdhdjsòbd jkrrkt`vd*



11/13

; 9 ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

@j thdsd r`tukbs" wd fkj sdd thkt mnurj`je `s k h`ehby snf`kb prnfdss* Vup-

pnrt`vd nthdrs hdbp kmdb`nrktd thd ddb`jes n st`emk kjg `snbkt`nj thkt stdm

rnm thd uj`qud f`rfumstkjfds n dkfh gdkth (Lnwbads ;00;" Hkemkj ;00


12/13

` j t r n g u F t ` n j ; ;

mnurjdr fkj kt t`mds ddb vdry fbnsd tn thd bnst njd* Bàd k phkjtnm b`mo"

thd bnss `s dxpdr`djfdg mnrd ks kj kfutd sdjsd n kj `jv`sòbd prdsdjfd* Ud

th`ja wdvd eb`mpsdg thkt pdrsnj cust krnujg thd fnrjdr1 wd mkad k fup n

tdk nr h`m1 wd fkjt wk`t tn edt hnmd tn tdbb h`m hnw ujhkppy wdvd oddjs`jfd hd g`dg* V`mubtkjdnusby" wd krd suocdftdg tn er`d thkt fkj tkad us uj-

kwkrds* Vufh er`d wkshds nvdr us `j wkvds kjg bdkvds us eksp`je `j `ts wkad*

Lnr thd fb`j`f`kj" th`s prnfdss hks odkr`je nj nur sdjsd n sdb-ks-thdrk-

p`st* Bnss kjg er`d ujnbg nj mubt`pbd pbkjdsthd m`ggbd-g`stkjfd tn od

trkvdrsdg `s" `j k sdjsd" `jhko`tdg oy thd mdmnry trkfds n thnsd pdnpbd"

pbkfds" kjg pkrts n nursdbvdsn nur thdrkp`st-sdbvdsjnw bnst tn us*

L`jg`je thd wnrgs tn fkpturd th`s fnmpbdx dxpdr`djfd kjg ode`jj`je tn rd-

wnra thd jkrrkt`vds n nur sdbvds krd dssdjt`kb tn mnurj`je*

@j snmd wkys" wd `jhko`t thd krkwky jdkroy ks k t`mdbdss pbkfd thkt kb-

bnws nr thd erkgukb rdfnjst`tut`nj n k wnrbg `j wh`fh thd bnss `s s`mubtk-

jdnusby kosdjt kjg nmj`prdsdjt* @j th`s psyfh`f spkfd" thd mnurjdr fkj

ode`j tn `jtderktd thd rdkb`ty kjg jkb`ty n thd bnss `j smkbb gnsds thkt doo

kjg nw `j kjg nut n nur kwkrdjdss* Ud en konut nur gky mnmdjtkr`by

sh``je nur kwkrdjdss rnm thd prnfdss n mnurj`je tn thd nrg`jkry wnra

n gky-oy-gky b`v`je kjg okfa kek`j* W`s rhythm `s `mpnrtkjt odfkusd `thdbps t`trktd thd rdfnej`t`nj n thd bnss kjg thus prntdfts rnm nvdrwhdbm-

`je ddb`jes n gdspk`r* W`s `s thd rdksnj thkt wd ndj prddr tn rdturj tn

wnra ks snnj ks pnssòbd kdr k bnsstn jg nursdbvds kek`j `j thd km`b`kr

pkttdrjs n whn wd krd kt wnra* Vnmdt`mds" hnwdvdr" wd strueebd tn rdnr`djt

nursdbvds `j k wnrbg thkt `s km`b`kr ydt pdrmkjdjtby fhkjedg*

@ njd rdmk`js tnn gddpby `j thd `bbusnry wnrbg nr rdtrdkts tnn hkst`by

rnm thd spkfd n mnurj`je w`thnut snmd erkgukb rdfnej`t`nj n thd rdkb`ty

n thd bnss" thdj njd mky b`vd w`th k pdrmkjdjt grdkg n fnjrnjt`je thdgdkth* Kt t`mds" wd jg wd krd bnkth tn e`vd up thd pk`j n bnss odfkusd `t

o`jgs us st`bb tn whnm nr whkt wdvd bnstonth k b`db`jd kjg k rdsurrdft`nj

w`sh* Ud must bdkrj" nvdr t`md" tn tnbdrktd snmd kwkrdjdss n thd pk`j n thd

bnss `j nrgdr tn en nj b`v`je kjg tn jg rdjdwdg pbdksurd `j b`d*

Wnwkrg k jdw g`kbneud

@j thd pkeds thkt nbbnw" ks wd dxkm`jd pdrsnjkb dxpdr`djfds n er`d

kjg odrdkvdmdjt" wd `jv`td ynu tn dxpbnrd w`th us thd bkjgsfkpd n thd



13/13

; ? ` j t r n g u F t ` n j

m`ggbd-g`stkjfd* Ud grkw nj thd `mked n thd krkwky jdkroy ks k wky

tn nrekj`zd nur ujgdrstkjg`je n thd thdrkp`sts dxpdr`djfd n bnss* Ud

hkvd snueht tn `jusd b`d `jtn sufh dxpdr`djfds" snmd n wh`fh fnjt`jud

tn hkujt us kjg tn `jnrm nur wnra tngky* Mnst `mpnrtkjtby" wd hnpd tnnpdj thd gnnr tn k fkjg`g g`kbneud konut whkt wd thdrkp`sts th`ja kjg

ddb whdj wd krd `j fkueht `j thd `jdv`tkobd prnfdss n mnurj`je*

jnWds

;* Lnr rdkgdrs `jtdrdstdg `j gdbv`je gddpdr `jtn th`s tnp`f" wd g`rdft ynu tn sdvdrkb

bdkg`je onnas thkt wd hkvd `jfbugdg `j nur o`ob`nerkphy*

?* Ynrt`njs n th`s fhkptdr kppdkrdg `j Mkbkw`stk" Kgdbmkj" kjg Kjgdrsnj (?9;;)*

rdldrdjFds

Krfhdr" C* ;000* Wd Jkturd nl Er`dl* Jdw Pnra3 _nutbdged*

Okadr" C* D* ?99;* Mnurj`je kjg thd rkjsnrmkt`nj n Nocdft _dbkt`njsh`ps3 Dv`gdjfd

nr thd Ydrs`stdjfd n @jtdrjkb Kttkfhmdjts* Ysyfhnkjkbyt`f Ysyfhnbney;83 4456*

Onswdbb" Ckmds* ;50;* Wd B`ld nl Vkmudb Cnhjsnj* Jdw Pnra3 Ydjeu`j" ?998*

Onwboy" C* ;0

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The Therapist in Mourning: From the Faraway Nearby -- excerpt