THE STORY OF TOM BRENNAN:

EXPLANATORY NOTES

From Beginning to END

Ideas and Insp ira tions Page 3

Planning Page 4

Ma in Charac ters Page 4

Periphera l Charac ter Page 5

Researc h Page 6

The Ed iting Proc ess Page 7

Crea tion of Mood Page 7

Opening Quota tions Page 9

CONTENTS

IDEAS & INSPIRATION

Authors use a variety of sourc es of insp ira tion for c harac ters, p lot ideas and settings for their novels.

Burke’s ‘ insp ira tions’ were kep t together in a sma ll notebook tha t she c a rried with her everywhere. In this notebook she wrote notes as ideas c ame to her, pasted in a rtic les, p ic tures and any other b its and p iec es she found tha t might have been useful to her when writing the novel.

Some examples of items used for insp ira tion for The Story of Tom Brennan inc lude:

Her own c hildhood experienc es of Ca tholic educ a tion (Slide 15);

Newspaper a rtic les (Slide 16);

Bra instorm of possib le c harac ters and names (Slide 17).

ACTIVTY 1

Using Slide 15, have students write down whic h sa int’ s pa inting appeared in whic h room of The Grandmother’ s house. Read ing the slide (notes about eac h sa int,) have students write down why they think tha t sa int was c hosen for tha t pa rtic ula r spot.

ACTIVITY 2

Using a b lank notebook, have students c rea te their own ideas sc rapbook. Eac h time they find insp ira tion for a story idea , they c an write or paste it into this notebook. (You might want to set up the notebooks a t the sta rt o f term, have students add to them throughout the term a t home then c hec k the notebooks a t the end of the term).

PLANNING

ACTIVITY 1

Bra instorm with the students wha t they think is involved in writing a novel.

To quote Burke, “ writing isn’ t about sitting there with a bottle of sc otc h a t two in the morning .” Ra ther, it is a method ic a l and c arefully p lanned p roc ess.

When writing The Story of Tom Brennan, Burke kep t many notebooks, folders and c ompleted a number of d ra fts before the fina l p roduc t was ac hieved .

To ensure she had effec tively developed the p lot, Burke c rea ted a list o f events to be inc luded in the novel (Slide 23).

MAIN CHARACTERS

One of the very first things Burke d id when p lanning her novel was to have a c lear idea of wha t her ma in c harac ter would be like. Slide19 shows her very first notes on Tom; wha t he is like as a person, his age, appearanc e and so forth.

However, the ma in storyline in the novel is Tom’s emotiona l journey, so this was a lso important to have c lear in her head . Slide 20 c onta ins a t-c hart from Burke’s notebook, outlining the positive and negative steps in Tom’s emotiona l journey.

ACTIVITY 1

Using Slide 19, have students find examples from the novel whic h show this tra it/ experienc e.

Have students c rea te a simila r list for the ma in c harac ter in their own stories.

ACTIVITY 2

Write on the boa rd the steps shown in the t-c hart on Slide 20, mudd ling up the order. Have students put the steps into a t-c hart of their own, exp la ining why tha t step was either positive or nega tive.

Onc e they have finished , show students Slide 20, and d isc uss their responses.

PERIPHERAL CHARACTERS

One of the ha rdest pa rts of ed iting is dec id ing wha t to leave out. For example, Burke inc luded a c harac ter, Matt, as Tom’s best friend . Her intention in inc lud ing Matt was to show the reader tha t Tom was ‘norma l’ and inc luded some sc enes where Tom and Matt were having c onversa tions about the ac c ident and how life ‘ suc ks’ .

The ed itor, however, had other ideas. The ed itor felt the novel was c entra lly about Tom’s journey and Matt d idn’ t help with this. In turn, Burke had to c hange Matt’ s c ha rac ter to reflec t more about Tom; his role in the story should be to show us how Tom had emotiona lly ‘ shut down’ in the way he no longer ta lked to Matt. The ed itor’ s notes in this regard a re c onta ined in Slides 10A, SLIDE 10b , SLIDE 10C and SLIDE 11.

Examples of keep ing the novel foc used on Tom’s emotiona l journey a re a lso shown in the ed itor’ s c omments about ‘ sec rets’ and the c orrec t p lac e to revea l this sort of informa tion about the other c harac ters.

ACTIVITY 2

Disc uss with the students the role periphera l c harac ters p lay in a novel or story (ie, their role is to tell us more about the p rotagonist).

Have students list the c harac ters in The Story of Tom Brennan and exp la in what role they fulfil/ wha t they tell us about Tom.

RESEARCH

Even though The Story of Tom Brennan is a work of fic tion, a g rea t dea l of researc h was involved . This helps make the story rea listic and therefore more interesting to the reader. For example, Burke researc hed Daniel’ s sentenc ing , as well as wha t p rison visits a re like.

Slide 12a & 12b is an e-ma il written by Burke, researc hing sentenc ing periods for c rimes simila r to tha t c ommitted by Daniel.

Slide 13 is Burke’s researc h notes on p rison visits.

ACTIVITY 1

Have students c rea te a list/ d isc uss whic h a reas of The Story of Tom Brennan they think might have been researc hed .

Compare their answers to Slide 14, whic h is Burke’s list o f top ic s she felt needed to be researc hed .

ACTIVITY 2

Have students go over one of their own stories. Wha t a reas c ould be researc hed more thoroughly to g ive the story g rea ter p lausib ility?

THE EDITING PROCESS

To quote Burke, ‘writing isn’ t sitting there with a bottle of sc otc h a t two in the morning ’ . It is a method ic a l and c a refully p lanned proc ess.

ACTIVITY 1

Slide 7a ,b ,c is a letter from the ed itor, suggesting c hanges for the novel. This would be an exc ellent resourc e to d isc uss the p roc ess of writing and seeking feedbac k.

ACTIVITY 2

Slide 8 inc ludes the first, sec ond and fina l d ra fts of the Prologue. Have students trac k the c hanges in eac h d ra ft and write or d isc uss why they think the c hanges were made. Disc uss or write if there a re any c hanges they would make to the Prologue and why.

Another example is Slide 9a & b , whic h is the novel’ s end ing.

You might a lso w ish to use Slide 21 & Slide 22.

CREATION OF MOOD When writing a novel, it is important for authors to c onvey the c orrec t mood / tone. This is espec ia lly important when writing rites of passage, as the c harac ter’ s journey is essentia l to the story.

In The Story of Tom Brennan, Burke c ompleted a number of d ra fts to c rea te the

right mood . One way she d id this was to c rea te a Mood Chart for Tom (see Slide 1, and Slide 2), highlighting how he should have been feeling a t eac h pa rtic ula r part of the story and making the language and tone of the text reflec t this.

ACTIVITY 1

Step One:

Either in pa irs or ind ividua lly, have students c rea te a timeline of events in The Story of Tom Brennan. You c ould a lso jot these down yourself and c rea te a ‘ c ut and paste’ ac tivity for the students.

Step Two:

Using a highlighter or d ifferent c oloured pens, have students trac k the c hanges in Tom’s mood . You might wish to have them trac k his feelings of grief/ hopelessness, c ompared to happ iness/ hope.

Step Three:

Have students share their responses with the c lass.

Step Four:

Show students Burke’s orig ina l ‘Mood Chart’ (Slide 1) whic h she used when writing and ed iting her novel. Disc uss.

ACTIVITY 2

Using Slide 2, have students find quotes/ examples of the mood in eac h c hap ter. An example has been p rovided for you.

ACTIVITY 3

Slide 3 is the orig ina l c onc lud ing pa ragraph to Chap ter 2 written by Burke. Compare this to the pub lished version on Slide 4.

Disc uss with students the d ifferent moods c rea ted in the two versions. Do they think the fina l version was the most effec tive? Why or why not?

Another examp le is Slide 5 and Slide 6. Aga in, c ompare and d isc uss the mood c rea ted by the d ifferent versions.

OPENING QUOTATIONS

Many authors like to open their novels with a signific ant quote. Suc h quotes range from lyric s to a pop song , or words of wisdom from a philosopher and c an be extremely useful to set the tone of the novel.

The Story of Tom Brennan c onta ins no opening quote. (moved from below)

ACTIVITY 1

The Story of Tom Brennan c onta ins no opening quote – DELETE THIS LINE. Have students researc h and c ome up with a quote tha t c ould be used a t the sta rt of the novel to effec tively set the tone.

ACTIVITY 2

In The Story of Tom Brennan, there is no opening quote. However, Burke toyed with this idea in the d ra fting stages –DELETE THIS LINE. Add instead : In the d ra fting stages of writing the novel, Burke toyed with the idea of inc lud ing a quote.

Her opening quote ideas for The Story of Tom Brennan a re shown in Slide 18.

Disc uss these unused quotes with the students.

Whic h of the three quote ideas would they use and why?

Why do you think she c hose to do something unusua l and quote the novel’ s p rotagonist, even though he is fic tiona l?

Would the novel be better with an opening quote? Why or why not?

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Chap ter 1 – not verba lly c ommunic a tive – eg ‘ I nodded ’ ‘ I shrugged ’

• Chapter 2 – no point ta lking– ‘Wha t was the point in saying anything to her, or anyone for tha t matter?’ / no hope/ monosyllab ic – eg ‘ huh’ ‘ yeah’ / fea r ‘ I held my brea th’ / hole in guts

• Chapter 3 – nervous/ anti c hic ks/ c onfusion ‘Daniel c rossed a line tha t night, a line I d idn’ t know my brother was c apab le of c rossing.’ / Kylie says to Tom ‘You don’ t ever want to ta lk about the – the stuff I want to ta lk about.’ / Tom feels there’s nothing to ga in from ta lking .

• Chapter 4 – memories suc k Tom into a long b lac k tunnel/ he ha tes the past and present/ c an’ t even c ontac t Ma tt, his best friend / not hungry/ anti soc ia l . (p63) Gran says to Tom ‘ I hope you’ve made some friends this week….it’ s important to try… there a re lots of nic e lads a t the sc hool…’ I felt like sp itting my beans bac k into the bowl.’

• Chapter 5 – guts turning/ not wanting to ta lk exc ept on sa fe top ic s only/ reluc tanc e in speaking to Fin/ tense (p75) / introduc tion of Tom’s identity and who he thought he was (p76) ‘ ..everything I thought I knew about who I was and who the Brennan’s were c hanged forever.’

• *Chapter 6 – emotiona lly exhausted ‘ .. seeing Fin took up every ounc e of energy.’ / unsa tisfying time with Mum/ panic (p85) ‘The knowledge made me want to tear my insides out.’ / Kylie ac c uses Tom of having no friends and being ‘ shut down’ / still not c ontac ted Matt/ d isinterest in Rory and footy/ panic / fighting not to be suc ked into b lac k tunnel/ (p93) a t Coghill pool * a sma ll taste of enjoyment*

• Chapter 7 – Diffic ulty keep ing c onversa tion up when he does c ontac t Matt/ c onfusion/ da rkness (p99) ‘ I c urled myself into a little ba ll, hid my head in my knees and let the da rkness suc k me deep into its belly.’ / despondent/ retrospec tive from Mumbilli

• Chapter 8 – despondent about fitness and p laying footy a t St Bennie’s (p114) ‘For me, p laying footy would never be the same. Here in Coghill, it would just be something to fill in the time –the end less, end less time.’ / no appetite

• Chapter 9 –melanc holy/ avoid ing footy selec tion exc itement/ reminisc ing about footy with Daniel/ retrospec tive from Mumbilli

• ***Chap ter 10 – Depersona lisa tion of mother - ‘ pa lm felt rubbery’ ‘ d irty na ils’ / non c ommunic a tive with Brendan/ denia l about who the Brennan’s have bec ome (p134) ‘ Didn’ t they rea lise we weren’ t like anyone else’ / *Seeing Brendan help Daniel/ the idea of good pa in/ *sta rts running with Brendan/ *hungry/ fight with Kylie. She ac c uses Tom ‘… loc ked away in your da rk room in one of your dark moods…’

• *****Chap ter 11 – Ta lk of Fin ‘ zapped away my appetite/ * (p157)Seeing the positive in Mum being out of bed .‘Us Brennans had a lot to ask for and not muc h reason to g ive thanks. But I was thankful. Mum was up .’ / *p lan to make a sc rapbook for Daniel/ *appetite returned / *interest in Chrissy/ *finds Gran’s sc rapbook/ THEN finds ‘ ac c ident a rtic le’ . (p164) ‘The whac k c ame hard and fast and I wasn’ t p repared .’

• ***** Chapter 12 – *Ab le to go bac k to Gran’s sc rapbooks a c oup le of days la ter/ *c onc ep t of a future. ‘ If he had to fac e a future, then so d id I.’ / * ‘ sta rving ’ / *sta rting to feel positive about Bennies and the boys/ ta lk of Brianna tightens the knot in Tom’s gut/ growing pa ranoia / nega tive reac tion to Kylie’ s speec h YET feels defiant ‘ she’s not taking us down with her/ fea r of c onsequenc es yet the fea r amounts to nothing / *feeling impa tient – a desire to move from the past

• ***Chap ter 13 - *Feeling lighter as their sec ret is out. This releases Tom from one of his greatest fea rs/ * ta lking with Kylie/ Tom’s d isc omfort a t Fin’ s b irthday ‘ the debt was overwhelming/ *happy to be leaving the past and Fin and returning to Coghill

• ***Chap ter 14 - *running/ *interest in Chrissy ‘ d inner was fun’ (p203)/ revea ling c onversa tion with his dad a t footy c amp. *Tom turned it into a positive ‘ I ac c ep ted his c ha llenge and turned it up .’

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FINAL DRAFT

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FINAL ENDING

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ORIGINAL ENDING

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