The Smarts That Matter Most!

Building Your EQ to

Develop Positive Relationships

Cedar Valley APICS

January 10, 2012

August 5 – October 10, 2010

Presentation Objectives

Identify the four elements of emotional intelligence (EQ)

Assess personal strengths and weaknesses relative to demonstrating EQ

Discuss practical techniques to build EQ

EQ Skills What I See

(Recognition)

What I Do

(Regulation)

Personal Competence

(Self)

Self-Awareness Self-Management

Social Competence

(Others)

Social Awareness Relationship Management

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions and your skill at using this awareness to manage yourself and your relationship with others.

A Case Study

Maya Angelou

People will forget what you did. People will forget what you said. They will never forget how you made them feel.

Top 5 Amygdala Triggers in the Workplace

1. Condescension and lack of respect

2. Being treated unfairly

3. Being unappreciated

4. Feeling that you are not being listened to or heard

5. Being held to unrealistic deadlines

Source: The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights by Daniel Goleman, 2011

EQ Trends: True or False

EQ is a personality trait that cannot be developed.

70% of managers and team members do not handle stress well.

Women tend to score lower in social awareness than men.

70% of leaders who scored high in EQ also ranked among the most skilled decision makers.

With practice, people who are low in EQ can work to improve a specific skill within two months.

IQ, EQ and Personality

What About You?

Which EQ Skill is a Strength?

Self-Awareness

- Understand your emotions as they happen- Confident- Admit your shortcomings- Recognize the impact your behavior has on others- Clearly understand your values

Self-Management

-Handle stress well-Tolerate frustration without getting upset- Don’t speak or act when it won’t help- Don’t do things you regret when you are upset- Look for the best in a bad situation- Focus on what you can control

Social Awareness

- Open to feedback- Recognize other people’s feelings- Active listening- Focused and attentive- “Walk in another’s shoes”- Pick up on others’ moods- Pay attention to body language and vocal tone

Relationship Management

-Communicate clearly and effectively-Directly address people in difficult situations-Take time to get to know other people -Demonstrate accountability-Keep a positive attitude-Inclusive-Show appreciation

Self-Awareness

Self-Management

Social Awareness

Relationship Management

Building EQ

Educate and assess

Get MOTE-ivated

6 months of focused practice

One EQ skill at a time

Don’t do it alone – ask for feedback

Prepare for setbacks – “How Fascinating!”

Building Your Individual EQ(Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradberry and Greaves)

Self-Awareness:Identify “hot buttons”Lean into your discomfortFeel your emotions physicallySlow down and be “in the moment”Visit your values

Self- Management:Count to 10 – “pause button”Get enough sleep and exercisePositive self-talkTake a break - relaxFocus on what you can controlMeditation and mindfulness

Social Awareness: Practice active listening Step into their shoes Eliminate distractions Test for accuracy – paraphrase See the whole picture

Relationship Management:Be vulnerable and openTake feedback wellWhen you care, show itAvoid giving mixed signalsBe a “bucket filler”Get good at conflict

Always remember…..

“People high in emotional intelligence have been leaning into their discomfort, making mistakes, practicing, and getting better at their skills for

years. It won’t take much time from your day to day work on the skills you’ve learned today, and improved emotional intelligence will carry over

into everything you do.”

Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greaves

Authors, The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook, 2005

Great Resources

Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups by Vanessa Druskat and Steven Wolff, Harvard Business Review, 2001.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, TalentSmart, 2009.

Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers by Adele Lynn, AMACOM, 2007.

Putting Emotional Intelligence to work: Equip Yourself for Success by Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle, ASTD Press, 2007.

PeopleSmart: Developing Your Interpersonal Intelligence by Mel Silberman and Freda Hansburg, Berrett-Koehler, 2000.