The Science of Happiness Dean Barley, PhD Associate Director of Clinical Services BYU Comprehensive Clinic 801.422.7818

The Science of Happiness

Dean Barley, PhDAssociate Director of Clinical ServicesBYU Comprehensive [email protected]

The Science of Happiness• What do we know

about happiness, resilience, prevention, or growth?

• How can we use what we know?

When do I need counseling?• When I’m starting to feel like a danger

to myself or others.

When do I need counseling?• When someone who loves me or

whom I respect says I should.

When do I need counseling?• What I’m doing isn’t working and

symptoms are interfering with life.

When do I need counseling?• When I need more help than my

support system can provide.

When do I need counseling?• When I’m just tired of suffering.

Where do I go for help?• Insurance

company• Physician• Ecclesiastical

authority• Friends

The Comprehensive ClinicBrigham Young University

How does counseling help?• Being heard, valued, understood• Chance to sort things out• Learn new skills

I don’t want to go.• 20% of the

population is diagnosable at any given time.

• I went with my family and it helped.

• You should consider it.

Back to Happiness

Desired Outcome• Change our lives• Do something…

differently

Sources

BYU Comprehensive Clinic

Happiness or Life Satisfaction

• Happiness = your genetic set range (50%) + circumstances (10%) + factors under voluntary control (40%).


Science of Happiness• Feelings are

determined by what we think,

• the way we see things,

• our “causal attributions.”


The Science of Happiness• To change the way we feel we must…• Change the way we think, see, or interpret

our world


Things we think will make us happy:

• “I will be happy when…”

• “I would be happy if ...”

• Money, Promotion, Youth, Bigger house, Newer Car, Beauty, Fame


Why Changing Circumstances Doesn’t Bring Lasting Happiness

• Hedonic Adaptation or Habituation

• We get used to it, and we return to baseline level of satisfaction.

• Raised expectations (the more we have, the more we want)

• Social Comparisons


Problem with focusing on improving circumstances:

• Changing circumstances brings a boost of positive emotion, but it doesn’t last due to habituation.

• It distracts us from focusing on other strategies that work better.


Cure to habituation• Optimal timing of

events• Introducing

variation to reduce habituation (boredom, tedium, burnout)


Science of Happiness• "Happiness consists more in small

conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, then great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom."-Benjamin Franklin

• If you had a large amount of money you would be happier if you spent it on numerous pleasant mood-boosting things occurring frequently rather than on one single big-ticket item.


Circumstances: Happiness does not come from…

• Money:– 22 lottery winners

returned to baseline happiness over time

– Forbes 100 people ($125 million average worth) only slightly more happy than the average American.


Circumstances: Happiness does not come from…• Physical attractiveness• Being young: Life satisfaction

goes up slightly with age.• Objective Health: What

matters is our perception of our health (chronic disabling conditions do lead to a decrease in life satisfaction)


Circumstances: Happiness does not come from (or correlate with)…

• Education, intelligence, climate, race, and gender.

• African-Americans and Hispanics have a lower rate of depression than Caucasians, but reported happiness is not higher


Happiness does correlate on the average with…

• Religion:– Religious people are less

likely to use drugs, commit crimes, divorce and commit suicide.

– Healthier and live longer.– More resilient under stress.– Somewhat happier and

more satisfied with life.– More hope and meaning in

life.


Circumstances: Relationships• 40% of married people are very happy, while 24% of single,

divorced, and separated say this.• Those in a not “very happy marriage” have lower happiness

than unmarried or divorced.• Securely attached children outperform peers in persistence,

problem-solving, and independence.


Summary on Circumstances and Life Satisfaction

• Live in wealthy democracy and not an impoverished dictatorship (strong effect)

• Get married (robust effect but may not be causal)• Have a rich social network (robust but maybe not

causal)• Avoid negative events and emotion (moderate)• Participate in a religion (moderate effect)• Together all these account for between 8 and 15% of

the variance in happiness. • There may be other things that aren’t as hard to

change.


Choosing Happiness Strategies• Choose a

particular activity if activity if

• it feels natural, • if you enjoy it, • if you value it.


Happiness Strategies• And if you're not

doing it because of guilt or because someone is making you do it


Happiness Strategies• Today will focus on those strategies which: • Have a high pay off value immediate and

long-lasting• Are easy –

– don’t require lots of self-discipline, only awareness;

– are in my control – don’t require lots of cooperation from others,

– won’t take (much) additional time


Happiness Strategies• 1. Expressing and experiencing gratitude*• 2. Cultivating Optimism*• 3. Avoiding over thinking, social comparison

(rumination)• 4. Practicing acts of kindness• 5. Nurturing relationships*• 6. Developing strategies for coping (dealing

with trauma and adversity)


Happiness Strategies• 7. Learning to forgive• 8. Get in the flow*• 9. Savoring life’s joys*• 10. Committing to goals• 11. Practicing religion and spirituality• 12. Taking care of your body


Gratitude• Gratitude assignment: Think of someone to whom

you have never expressed full thanks. Write it on one page. Do it face-to-face. Bring laminated copy as a gift. Read it slowly with eye contact. Let them react unhurriedly.


Gratitude Activities• Gratitude correlates with all the good

stuff: energy, hope, empathy, connection with others, increased forgiveness, reduced depression, anxiety, loneliness, and envy.


Gratitude Activities• Gratitude journal or lists of things you

take for granted or which go unappreciated


Gratitude Fights Habituation• Discuss your blessings with a partner.• “What do you look forward to today?”• “Tell me something good that happened

today.”


Optimism

• Can change feelings by changing thoughts


Optimism vs. Pessimism• Pessimistic people interpret bad events

as permanent; • will undermine everything they do; • and it’s their fault.


Pessimism• Permanent,

pervasive, and personal

• (It’s going to last forever, it’s going to undermine everything, and it’s my fault.)


Pessimism• A good event is temporary• Very specific (doesn’t help much)• Due to something outside of their control

(impersonal)• A one-time, lucky, temporary fluke.


Pessimists

• Eight times more likely to become depressed when bad events happen.

• Do worse at school, sports, jobs, have shorter lives and worse physical health, and worse relationships.


Optimism• Optimistic people interpret a bad event as

temporary (instead of permanent)• Controllable (instead of out of my

control), and• Specific (not pervasive).


Optimism vs. Pessimism• Optimists interpret a good event as

permanent, as being due to their personal behaviors, and general (permanent, personal, and pervasive).

• Life is generally good, I’m good at what I do, most of the time things work out.


Increase Optimism

• Disputing pessimistic thoughts.• Find permanent and universal causes for

good events (I’m good at what I do)• Find temporary and specific causes for

misfortune (I got laid off because the company is in a temporary, understandable slump).


Increase Optimism

• ABCDE– Adversity– Beliefs– Consequences– Disputation (examine evidence, see

alternative multiple causes, decatastrophize, examine pros and cons of holding on to the belief, keep a disputation record)

– Energize


Practice

• Think of one debilitating pessimistic thought that you tell yourself.

• Write it down. • “Sometimes I tell myself ….but the truth is…”


Example:

• “Sometimes I tell myself that my best days are behind me, but the truth is that may not be true, or

• I don’t know that, or • I’m going to continue enjoying each day as it

comes and relish the happy memories from the past.”


Savoring• Healthy

pleasures – sensory (taste, sights, sounds, touch – mainly reflexive and require little thought)


Savoring

• D & C 59: 15 And inasmuch as ye do these things with athanksgiving, with bcheerful chearts and countenances…

• 16 Verily I say, that inasmuch as ye do this, the afulness of the earth is yours, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which climbeth upon the trees and walketh upon the earth;

•


Savoring

• 17 Yea, and the herb, and the agood things which come of the earth, whether for food or for braiment, …

• 18 Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the abenefit and the buse of man, both to please the eye and to cgladden the heart;

•


Savoring

• 19 Yea, for afood and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to bstrengthen the body and to enliven the soul.

• 20 And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used, with judgment, not to aexcess, neither by extortion.


Remember habituation• Habituation – (tolerance) neurons respond to

novel events and do not fire as much to repeated events. Pleasant events can cause a craving for repeated events that are less satisfying (addiction).


Remember habituation• Means that

pleasures need to be spread out to a maximum time interval for maximal pleasure.


Savoring • The slowed down conscious

awareness of the moment • Sharing it with someone


Savoring

• Could use surprise with a partner to pace positive events and prevent habituation.


Savoring• Look forward

to it • Take mental or

real photographs, or physical souvenirs


Savoring• Imagine a free day to savor your

favorite simple pleasures• What you would you do from

hour to hour. Write it down.• Carry out the plan.


Savoring• Remember the bitter sweetness – good things do

end• Everyday small events are precious. • Savor them.


Savoring• What am I missing by not taking time to

savor and appreciate?• I can choose to do something different today.


Flow• Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Cheeks sent me

high) – wanted to study the key to human beings at their best.

• Discovered flow in studies using experience sampling method (ESM )

• Person carries a pager, randomly notified, write down what they are doing, who they are with, what they are thinking and feeling


Flow– Task is challenging and requires skill– Concentration– Clear goals– Immediate feedback– Deep effortless involvement– Sense of control– Sense of self vanishes– Time stops


Flow• When does time stop for you?• When do you find yourself doing

exactly what you want to be doing, and not wanting it to end?

• This is when you are in flow.


Flow and Signature Strengths• Flow often means using one of your

Signature Strengths.


Signature Strengths• something I’m good at

– Sense of ownership and authenticity– Excitement and joy while displaying it– Rapid learning curve– Want to find new ways to use it– Feeling of inevitability while using it (try and

stop me)– Invigoration rather than exhaustion while

using the strength


Examples of Strengths and Virtues

• Wisdom and Knowledge– Curiosity– Love of learning– Judgment– Ingenuity– Social intelligence– Perspective



• Courage– Valor– Perseverance– Integrity

• Humanity and Love– Kindness– Loving



• Justice– Citizenship– Fairness– Leadership

• Temperance– Self-control– Prudence– Humility



• Spirituality and Transcendence– Appreciation of beauty– Gratitude– Hope– Spirituality– Forgiveness– Humor– Zest


The Good or Engaged Life

• The good or engaged life is getting in flow with Signature Strengths as often as possible in work, play, and relationships.


To Utilize Strengths

• Take the survey on www.authentichappiness.org

• Think about your strengths and how to use them every day in work, play, and in relationships.


Nurturing Relationships• John Gottman: Seven Principles for

Making Marriage Work• Five hours/week together and talking

(schedule time together as a dedicated ritual)


Nurturing Relationships• Five minutes/day expressing gratitude for

specific behaviors• 5/1 ratio of positive to negative affect

(comments)


Nurturing Relationships• In the morning find one thing your

partner will do that day.• In the evening have reunion conversation

and LISTEN (focus on things that produce gratitude

• “Yes, and…” instead of “Yes, but…”)


Nurturing Relationships• Michelangelo effect: invoking the best in each

other• Idealizing each other, positively biased

perceptions


Nurturing Relationships

• List attributes that initially attracted you to your partner and what you appreciate now.

• Come up with an episode that illustrates those attributes.

• Write about good times in the marriage.• If spouse does something upsetting, write a

charitable explanation for his/her behavior• Write about shared goals/values, beliefs


Nurturing Relationships• In good relationships, the partner reacts

with enthusiasm and interest when something good happens to partner.


Nurturing Relationships• Manage conflict better (Unhappy couples

have: accusation, personal criticism, contempt, defensiveness, refusing to talk).


Nurturing Relationships• Happy couples do something in a conflict

to reduce tension and to reconcile (humor, affection, “I see your point.”)


Nurturing Relationships• Weekly do one thing that supports your

partner’s roles and dreams.


Nurturing Relationships• Singles: frequent contact with long-term

friendships (rituals)• Show interest and encouragement• Self-disclosure


Nurturing Relationships• Express affection and admiration.• Affirm their successes• Loyalty, keep secrets, reciprocate favors


Nurturing Relationships• Physical affection• Those assigned to

give more hugs had an increase in life satisfaction over four weeks.


Review• Change feelings by changing thoughts• Circumstances only account for 10% of

variance in life satisfaction• Manage habituation with pacing, variety,

and gratitude


Review• Frequency of positive events is more

important than intensity (do daily small things rather than a big event every three months)


ReviewGratitudePessimism: permanent, pervasive,

and personal causal attributions when bad events happen

Increasing optimism with ABCDE Disputation (examine evidence, see alternative multiple causes, decatastrophize)


Review

• Increasing positive feelings in the present– Savoring – slow down, notice, and

share


Review

• Discovering Signature Strengths

• Using them to create flow in work, play, and relationships


Review

• Nurture Relationships– Schedule time together– Talk about gratitude building things– Improve conflict patterns– Highlight the good in your partner

• If single, do similar things with your friendships.


Desired Outcome

• Do something….differently.

Documents

The Science of Happiness Dean Barley, PhD Associate Director of Clinical Services BYU Comprehensive Clinic 801.422.7818