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Pictorial Notes & The Other From The Rip Curl Pro Portugal
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The hole she left in my heart, big as it is, has been filled by
Raoni Monteiro and all things Rip Curl Pro Portugal. Distractions
are a wonderful thing when all you can think about is what
could have been. And this morning Raoni caused the biggest
distraction of all when he knocked out Kelly Slater giving a
breezy looking Parko even more room to breeze. Mick too would
no doubt be happy. John John Floz would be happy also. The
Word Title race had officially been thrown wide open by Raoni
and everyone cheered the Brazilian as he came up the beach. I
should say that I wasn’t hoping Kelly would lose. I want no man
to feel pain. That’s a side effect of getting dumped. Empathy.
When Kelly lost today with no score close to troubling the
four point range I wanted to hug him. I wanted to say, “Man
you know what? To heck with the ocean, man. She gives you so
much but she can take it away whenever she wants. It’s on her
terms, man. I get that. I really do. Let’s go get a bottle of
wine and some sardines and ride this out together. Love hurts
my brother. Love hurts.” But I didn’t. I just watched as Kelly
surfed four waves after his heat had ended at $500 per wave (a
fine stipulated in the ASP rulebook for guys who surf into the
next heat) and wondered which poor bastard from the ASP would
be giving him the invoice. – VB
THE PERFECT DISTRACTION
BROTHER WHERE ART THOU NO LONGER
Kolohe Andino’s euro leg has been a far cry from his board punching meltdown in Fiji. On the contrary, the grom has rediscovered his love for pro surfing and it was no more evident than on his first wave in the no-loser younglings heat of round four. Against John John and Gabby Medina, Kolohe got the first wave, sliced across open face before launching himself into a mondo extreme first turn air rev so monstrous that when he landed it Matt Wilkinson’s nipples started lactating. Although Gabby went on to win the heat and Kolohe lost in the very next round to Josh Kerr, it was wonderful to see Brother lose the shackles of expectation and do what he does best. Go surfing.
1. THE SURFEndless opportunities. It’s the sickest joint to get barrelled.
2. SARDINESI’ve never eaten one but the smell of Peniche reminds me of Matt Bemrose’s breath and he’s a good friend.
3. COASTLINEThe cliffs and the castles. They make me feel like some kind of William Wallace except that I’m in Portugal and not Scotland.
4. COFFEEThe coffee is outrageously strong here. Just one little short black in the morning and you’re flying all day. And the smell reminds of Bemmy’s armpits and he’s a good friend.
5. PEOPLEThere are so many good people here and they are all so enthusiastic about surfing. There’s a lot of passion and I have a lot of good friends. Everyone rules except for that thief they busted – he can suck a sardine.
KAI OTTON’S FIVE FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT PORTUGAL
DOUG GETS SLOTTED AGAIN
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking: “Everyday I
read the Sardine and every day
there’s a story about this Doug
character, and every day I wish
I could just quit my life and
be Doug. What a life that would
be! To be Doug!” And you’re
right to think that. Doug’s
life is way better than yours.
Sorry to say but it’s true.
Need more proof? Look at the
barrel he got this morning at
the comp only minutes before
Kelly Slater paddled out and
couldn’t get anything over a
3.6! Even Kelly Slater wants to
be Doug. Go on ask him. He’ll
say “I want to be Doug.” Don’t
worry Kelly. We all do.
OWEN VS MICK
Is there a word to describe the heat between
Rip Curl stablemates Owen Wright and Mick
Fanning yesterday afternoon? Yes there is:
Amazeballs. It was at this event in 2009
Mick and Owen were supposed to surf a semi,
but Owen hurt his neck and Mick got a walk
through to the final – which he then went on
to win. Conspiracy theories abounded. Parko
at that stage had a huge lead in the ratings
and there was chatter Owen had been forced
to throw the heat so Mick could get valuable
points. Yesterday, with the ratings looking
very similar to 2009, Mick and Owen met up in
Round Five. Mick started the heat in a flurry
and had Owen comboed before the halfway mark.
But then Owen got the wave of the day and
parked his caboose in a big hollow cave for a
perfect 10. And then a small priority error
by Mick gave Owen his choice of waves in the
remaining eight minutes which he used to pull
out a last minute victory. Did someone say
amazeballs? Yes, we did. And it was.
ROLL UP ROLL UP
“John John versus Joel Parkinson some time today. A World Title heat with wild implications. Getcha peanuts. Getcha hotdogs. Roll up roll up to the greatest show on earth!”
EVER WONDERED?Everyone knows what the
front of an event site
looks like, but have you
ever wondered what’s out
back? The Sardine brings
you this exclusive: The
backside of the Rip Curl
Pro Portugal.
DOWNLOAD THE FREE RIP CURL PRO APPCUSTOMISED NOTIFICATIONSFAVOURITE SURFER HEAT ALERTSLIVE WEB STREAMINGLIVE SCORES WITH LIVE AUDIOEVENT STATUS, RESULTS & NEWS UPDATESGALLERIES WITH SOCIAL SHARING
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12_NOV_SW_DPSv2.indd 1 17/9/12 5:43:25 PM
12_NOV_SW_DPSv2.indd 2 17/9/12 5:43:32 PM
ISSUE 09