The Saga of Babafats v 1.0A SOCRATIC DIALOG ON DRUGS, ECONOMY AND EDUCATION

BY Gimmesomeroy

Creative Information

CC 3.o Share-alikeYou may remix, redo, reshare, recare, recylce, respect, return, rerun or whatever to this work. The cost of the book only represents

the time compensation for the anonymous author.

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This text is not copyrighted, and may be used in any way the reader sees fit. If you would like to support open-science and education publishing efforts, you may contact the publisher directly. This text contains potentially dangerous information, so please, do not feel like you have to relieve the authors life to find any sort of fulfillment.So re-mix, do not re-live.

This volume is a collaboration between the publishing group Next Generation Publishing Inc., the Neuro-Cloud Community, and the Colorado Safe Choices effort. This work is still under medical review, and will be updated accordingly. The publisher believes digital materials should be free, and any profit will go into production learning solutions outlined by the Next Generation Textbook Model.

The following 5 short essays on drugs, addicts, recovery and economy represent a great deal of personal research I have invested into the field of neuropharmacology over my lifetime in an attempt to legitimize the narrative experience of the addict. Over the centuries, our definitions of drugs shift with cultural perception and understanding. The goal of recovery and sobriety is the primary purpose of the rehabilitation therapist; however, personal experience has shown that addicts often learn quicker that their physicians. I believe this is due mostly to hyperactive memory though repeated stacked trauma in early childhood. This presents a familial model of drug addiction, where epigenetic corticosteriod disregulation is maternally inherited, suggesting that recovery best happens at the family model. When an addict seeks recovery, they are met with a variety of opinions and figures, which are a collective of suffers before them. Their experience has proven to be the only reliable source of trust in recovery, as abusive doctors and sanatoriums are a large part of drug culture. This work is meant to marry the neuroscience behind learning models with the addict culture we (addicts) can trust.

The primary audience for this piece is anyone currently treating addicts, however that may look. Rather than a stuffy and inaccessible medical journal, I hope to use the semantic poetry embedded in addict culture, passed through the ever-changing residential treatment centers, to guide practitioners into drug understanding. As an academic, I am hesitant to share some of these pieces, as I am not proud of the results. They do, however need to be shared for my own personal ideal of recovery. This is not meant to replace, change, or influence the choices of any addicts currently enslaved to

Preface

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I have compiled these short essays into an ebook format in an attempt to share my honest experience with a lifetime of recovery. Due to the nature of this work, I wish to remain anonymous under the pseudonym GimmeSomeRoy

a drug, but rather present an Orthodoxy when it comes to sobriety and recovery. If this volume is well-received, I would be happy to share more experience in a similar fashion. As a recovering addict in academia, funding has been difficult to obtain. I have found that good research is repeated over and over, yet these changes rarely reflect in policy changes that need to happen for both those addicted, and those wishing to help.

Before I go any further, I would like to anonymously qualify myself as both a neuroscientist and an addict. I was born into the family of a great physician and a loving nurse. My maternal Grandfather suffered from alcoholism, but was able to recover and die a good death. The trauma of his life created a pathological inheritance on my maternal side of the family. My father, on the other hand, was a physician who acted as chief of staff at several hospitals, all while raising 3 boys and building clinics across the world.

I am the youngest of the 3 boys, and appear to suffer from alcoholic addiction like my grandfather before me. While I am young, only 25 at time of publication, I have been able to see and do some truly

incredible things. This has also created an incredible sense of the need for me to give back, which often leads to my own demise. I am a life-long learner trying to help my comrades like my father helped people. In a high school I was at that closed down, a Liberian gave me a copy of Doctor Zhivago, which solidified my desire to serve. While I am not a medical doctor, I have found I can be just as, if not more useful as a researcher. I was fortunate enough to courses in college from some of the greatest biotech and pharmacy while earning a dual bachelor’s degree in Molecular, Cellular and Developmental Biology, and Neuroscience. I have been fortunate enough to work in the Lab’s of some greatest neuroscientists wishing to help improve the quality of life for addicts like me. I helped pioneer a technique known as ‘optogenetics’, and have been able to travel the world speaking on open knowledge independent of an institution. Over and over again, the infamous line from the film, “Bladerunner” plays in my head.

“If only you could see what I have seen with your eyes.”

I have worked for some of the most powerful men and companies on the planet, and now only wish to help those

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so they do not have to see what I have seen. The addict world only gets darker if one does not pursue recovery. In my opinion, the ultimate failure of a treatment protocol for mental health is suicide, and while I have played with the idea myself, I will do anything to make it just a thought. It is always a choice, free will for addicts must come 3 moves ahead of the bullet or, in my case, the drink. Please feel free to reach out to any healthcare provider for more information on addiction and recovery, and only take these words with a grain of salt. Hopefully the embedded glossary will provide you with a translation between neuropharmacology and street-drug lingo.

-- Gimmesomeroy@icloud.com

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There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy... He was nothin' like me or you,'cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.

As a kid, he sat in the cellar...sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.

Introduction

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CHAPTER 1

This volume is based off an anonymous poem rumored to have written by Shel S. after his son overdosed and passed away. The goal of these works is to spare drug users the frustration of living in ones own skin, while helping practitioners understand the addict brain. I found this poem in the middle of the desert, and hope it finds you well.

But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night, and the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.

He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat...lived high up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. "Well, hell!" says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,Till I find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."

So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff...back down again he'd slide . . .He'd sit and cry, then climb some more, pursuing the perfect high.

Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.

"What's happenin', Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz . . .I hear you're hip to the perfect trip... Please tell me what it is. "For you can see," says Roy to he, "I'm about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "Another burned out soul, Who's lookin' for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn't in a dealer's stash, or on a druggist's shelf... Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive mother-fucker!" says Roy, "I climbed through rain and sleet,I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet! I braved the lair of the

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polar bear, I've tasted the maggot's kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?

My ears, before they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn't climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn't climb up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Okay...okay," says Baba Fats, "You're forcin' it outta me... There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.

Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West sky,And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave...hits like the blazin' sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don't never come.

But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high, And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea, There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu tree."

"Well, to hell with your witches and giants," says Roy, "To hell with the beasts of the sea-- Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms for me."And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursuing the perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. "Yes, Lord, it's always the same...old men or bright-eyed youth... It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to tell them the truth."

----

Adapted from Dr. Legume via Subgenius.com

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For some, living sober means drinking a beer an hour until bedtime, while others use pharma cocktails that are now becoming a part of social medicine. This large gap in definition across the spectrum of the population has been, and is becoming more and more a point of contention amongst global recovery community. As a personal healthcare practitioner, I have found the best scale of sobriety to be the homeostatic interactions between the body and ones surroundings. The human body has a remarkable ability to adapt to even the most troubled situations while the heart

still beats, however, that does not mean that addicts need to conform to these chaotic situations. Homeostatic sobriety is a lifestyle choice when addicts start to take personal responsibility for their own lives, families and surroundings. This lifestyle requires great discipline,

Defining Sobriety

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CHAPTER 2

In the last 100 years of western medicine, the term sobriety has been difficult to understand due to societal perceptions about drugs and alcohol. The term 'sober-minded' is particularly hard to define, as it appears to be a personal choice that varies drastically across the population. As we are now entering a second resonance of street-drugs, sober living is once again becoming a cornerstone of public health.

An attempt to categorize sobriety in new drug culture

while also offering great freedom. But, what does it practically entail?

This is where I may only speak on my own personal experience, because I believe I literally have a drinking problem, I over consume all liquids. For me personally, a beer an hour is an impossibility, but that doesn't mean I believe I need to spare myself from the ease and comfort of the effect of alcohol. Rather, I am learning how to be sober-minded in all situations in accordance with my body rhythms. Without a doubt, a regular sleep/wake schedule has provided me with the greatest feeling of control over my life, but a nervous brain has trouble resting. Benzodiazepines and Z class drugs safely mimic the effect of alcohol, but become a problem if I am not waking up at the same time, as effects and metabolites bleed into the new day.

A few years ago, I was given Mg’s of alprazolam a day for what was described as panic disorder. In retrospect, the high dose benzo treatment protocol ended up causing more problems, as it was not a sustainable solution. At this time, I was employed as an officer of the law, and found myself falling asleep at the wheel for my early morning shifts. While my

will was strong, the homeostatic component of my sleep/wake life was out of sync.

Earlier, in a public high school, I was taking very large doses of seroquil at night, while being promised that the sedative effect would diminish. It did not, and my doctor resorted to the DARPA drug modafinal to alienate my frustration. Other important homeostatic cycles I have personally found useful for recovery include GI regularity, CO2/O2 balance, and the least understood, hormonal regulation. Ultimately, sobriety needs to be a personal choice where one is able to account for his or her experience well.

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Philip K Dick wrote about a future drug dystopian world in his iconic work, "A Scanner Darkly" characterized by a dichotomy of straits and addicts. I first came across this story in Vietnam, where I was able to purchase a bootleg pre-screener for 1 USD. I find it ironic that

years later I would have an opportunity to reconcile these 2 worlds in my own life through open-science.

3 years after the film was released, I found myself in a dimly lit coffee shop

When Straits And Addicts Share Notes

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CHAPTER 3

2 models for open-drug policy reform in sciences

basement for an illegal fundraiser. The city I was living in, Denver, did not allow for syringe exchanges, despite their ever-growing needle drug using population. The city of Boulder, on the other hand, had declared a public health crisis in the late 80's due to the rise of hepatitis and AIDs within it's homeless community. USED, or the Underground Syringe Exchange of Denver, had put together a short film detailing how clean needles were the secret to building trust within the alienated drug world, and how clean needles allow for addicts to be alive, if they choose recovery. I witnessed with my own eyes how needle drug users could get clean if they were given the choice from trusted friends.

A few years later I found myself working in a molecular neuroscience lab with needles of my own. While we were performing optogenetic stereotactic surgeries, I was struck by the contrast between the two worlds, and their approach to promote sobriety. We had to work hard to get the rats addicted to the drug. Rats in cages tend to live very boring empty lives, with the synthetic cocaine given during train being the only bright spot of their day. It seemed very unnatural, though painfully interesting.

While it is impossible to known what actions effect change, the state of Colorado had gone through remarkable changes in it's drug policy over the same time period. I am happy to say that USED is no longer around, instead they have joined forces with a larger harm-reduction coalition group. It is also no secret that the legalization of recreational pot has allowed for an air of freedom when we engage in an open discourse on drug policy reform. On the strait side, however, we are seeing a new beast on the streets characterized by the same neurological effects of heroin, but in pill form. Sadly, addicts are starting to equate pills with safety, and the new medical research campus might be the gateway for their passage onto the streets.

During my time as an undergrad, I was able to take a course titled, 'biotech entrepreneurship' where I learned that biotech almost inevitably gets bought out by big pharma, who ultimately controls the pills available for suffering addicts. I continue to be shocked by the growing returns of big pharma, while somebody must know that they are selling too many. When addicts and straits share there research notes, we get to reconcile 'street smarts' with 'book

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smarts'. I recently attended a recovery conference where an anonymous young speaker shared how his perceived back pain, turned out to be organ pain. As a strait, I started to think about referred pain and nerve endings, yet I have not been able to read anything about this concept in my academic tenure. Maybe it is out there, but behind a pay wall. Maybe it is out there, but in an un-indexed departmental repository. We will never know, until we all start to share notes.

Update:

I awoke to find that the US Government has launched the #openfda, I believe this to be a great step forward in drug transparency research, and will work faithfully with this group to ensure that the ideals contained in this document are manifested in real change that benefits all those who suffer from drug abuse and dependence.

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Recently, I came across a small vial of

LSD, which is a significant finding in today's drug world. Finding any sort of information devoid of government mk ultra experimentation is difficult, and the nefarious groups who control liquid acid today are difficult to safely seek. The founder of AA, Bill W., is said to have used acid to treat his own alcoholism, and several harm reduction

groups out of Portland have had success treating methamphetamine abuse with MDMA.

The low-doses of LSD needed to induce visual stimulus may make it a prime drug for inducing extra-sensory experiences, while minimizing the unwanted side effects of "party drugs". The key to successful acid experiences again remains to be trust in the source. Based on personal experiences, the rush

Acid Made Him See The Light...

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CHAPTER 4

But he couldn’t remember it long; The use of general dissociatives for inducing spiritual experiences to treat addiction

and feeling of personal power manifests itself physically, as total body control seems possible. The dosing needed for successful 'trips' remains elusive, as it cannot be measured via traditional methods. Rather the slang term, dropping, is the most measurable dosing information available, but this tends to vary greatly based on the size of the "dropper" and perhaps even the make-up of the rubber, as the "acid" may react with certain plastics and rubbers, neutralizing the compound.

What we do know about acid is that it seems to disable the serotonin-based perception filter. The initial success of SSRIs leading to hippocampal growth leads me think that depression and anxiety are memory disorders, where individuals cannot recall with diffident force the truth about their lives. My goal with the small blue vial I can across was to habituate my brain to feeling the sense of control induced by the drug. Based off of the success of the recent ketamine trials, I was hoping to counter my own anxiety/depression, however, what I found was the truth I already know, and perceiving it better only further alienated me from my peers. The reason why? I don't know. Not everyone

wants to see the light, and I have found that I struggle with sound more than light. Old wisdom says that the tongue is the hardest muscle to train, and it has the power to push away more than just depression. Ultimately, I feel like I suffer from loneliness, and the intensity of an acid "trip" is an experience that most cannot handle. While dissociative drugs may be effective, their administration and control remains their biggest problem. Most people cannot be trusted with even a small amount of acid, for an untrained mind will try to fly without wings, and without a trusted "squatter", the therapeutic value remains limited. While it may be effective for short bursts of "brain-training" it's true value seems redundant within the recovery community. If an individual cannot be responsible for their own air, they do not deserve more light.

While I cannot speak for Bill W, I imagine he came across the same conclusion. The drug can be extremely divisive by further alienating the suffer-er from reality. Extreme care needs to be given when practitioners enter the realm of these drugs, as they tend to cause more problems than they solve. Honestly, the whole experience damaged more relationships in my life, and I only

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share this because of the social contract of science. Hopefully you can spare yourself from your own blue vial, as it will likely cause your own ego to improperly inflate, before you realize that you are only full of hot air.

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Ever since the infamous declaration of

"The War on Drugs", 2 clear models of drug education have arisen. The first, is the public education dare program, while the latter, "Drug Warz" emerged as a result of the rationalization of the

DARE generation. Because the former is so familiar in generalized society, I will instead focus on the "Drug Warz" program that emerged as a countering result. Drug Warz was an old DOS computer game where the player took

Drug Warz Vs DARE

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CHAPTER 5

2 models of generational drug education rationalizing drug economies

control of a criminal wanting to build a drug empire.

I first found this DOS gem around 1999 whilst digging for freeware to relieve my own childhood. At that point, my experience with the DARE program ended with me physically assaulting 'McGruff the drug dog' in second grade after going on a tirade about how not all

drugs are bad. Needless to say, I was a prime target consumer for the simple command prompt based game that became the next step in my drug education. Later iterations of the game included GUI's and shoot outs with various forms of global law enforcement. Today, the only way you would learn about the truth of global drug trafficking is through violent pop-culture depictions most children and serious learners do not have access to.

However, the message of Drug Warz was far more thorough a life a lesson in drug economies over the short papers required for 5th grade Dare graduation. Here we see the true cost of drugs, both

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legal and illegal. Now that we lived in a society with socialized health care, global drug economies may become a strong indicator of public health. While I was in a dark period of my undergraduate studies, I was drinking heavily while trying to manage mental illness with my doctor. The sense of ease and comfort that came with a 4$ copay for Zolipdam far outweighed the 24.99 I had to pay for a fifth of whiskey I wasn't embarrassed to buy. Historically, drugs have always been taxed in accordance to the desirability of the drug, from caffeine to alcohol. With the generic prescription drug act, we have seen addicts less willing to go to dangerous places to get drugs. Sadly, this has created a 2 tier addict world, where the rich often do not ever need to pursue treatment. The overflow of prescription drugs and it's effect on long term health is all too apparent. We are now forced reconcile with the fact that the vast majority of humans do not dare to abstain, and since we consistently worship the eye on the dollar bill drug addiction is everyone's problem. Personal accountability for prescription drugs needs translate to community responsibility fueled by fiscal incentive. As for the future of childhood drug

education, recovered addicts need to be heard next to the cops who busted them.

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While this final essay is the least

rooted in hard science, my personal experience has lead me to believe that it may also be the most important. I have had many doctors, caretakers, therapists, consolers and sponsors in the course of my recovery and I believe that the relationship between a therapist and an addict to be one of the most important cornerstones of sobriety. Most

addicts grow up like rats in cage, whether that cage be literal, emotional or spiritual. This creates a familiar sense of institutionalism that can follow the addicted mind to all corners of the planet. Sobriety is truly about finding freedom in between the ears, not outside of whatever physical walls will inevitably surround everyone. However, when an addict seeks help, it is easy for him/her to be placed back into that scary

The Genius And The Rat

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CHAPTER 6

The relationship between the addict and the doctor

Rodent experiencing neural stimulation with light

childhood state where walls seem real. For me personally, this manifests in feelings loneliness when I no longer have distractions. Getting to sleep can be just as hard as waking up for some addicts, and sleeping well is always the challenge.

As I personally abstain from alcohol, the ease of a few glasses of wine for my health is outside of the question. Left to my own devices, I tend to spend restless nights and work 18 hour days on 2 hours of sleep with 4 hours of misery. Recently, when seeking to repair a family relationship where I had been in the wrong, I was accosted and sent away with threats. This manifested for me as an emotional breakdown until my aunt could pick me up. Because alcoholic pathology tends to be familial, it was not a very safe place to be.

While this family relationship is paramount in my mind, it also reinforces the institutionalization thinking that prevents me from developing my own healthy habits. I have been working over the last 6 months to use my knowledge of pharmacology to improve my life, and I have. Sadly, I could not remember this in the emotional turmoil. It is known that emotion plays a large role in

memory, and for addicts these memories can lead to cycles of experience. When these cycles manifest, it discourages all involved in recovery as it feels like no progress has been made. This is where it is the addicts responsibility to take care of their own mind so that they do not shake under any trauma, past, present or future. The addict can manifest as an experiment when medical intervention heavy handed and swift. Medicine should never be used as a tool of control, but the natural advanced understanding of pharmacology of the addict can take a well-meaning doctor and turn him into an evil genius projected by the perception of the rat.

I recently had to go in for dental work, which has been a nightmare of mine since I can remember. I was convulsing in panic until the Dentist allowed me NO to help. After a few minutes, I remember how I would operate on rats using isofloraine and ketamine as the anesthetics. I remembered how carefully I would monitor the rodents breathing, while drilling through the skull. At once, I felt at peace. I felt like I could trust my dentist as long as I could control my breathing. I never lost a rat on the table, but several peers did and watching them

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allowed me to learn the critical mistakes that I did my best not to repeat. Trust was the key. Trust is the key, in my humble opinion. As soon as an addict does not trust the cure, it is poison. Establishing trust with an addict is not a quick or fun process, as it often involves witnessing the highs and the lows they go through while being helpless to get them off the ride. That being said, a good heart and honest desire can combat the deepest rooted paranoia and allow for new memories of self-confidence and love to manifest. Again, this is not for the faint of heart, but if you are working with an addict now, there is a reason.

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• Books

I. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition

II. The Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, Second Edition

III. The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales

IV. Neuro-Cloud’s An Introduction to Neuroscience

• Tools and web learning

V. http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/

VI. http://harmreduction.org

VII. http://www.neuro-cloud.net

VIII. https://open.fda.gov

Check online for local support groups if you feel like they would benefit your health. I have personally found a great community around the world, and would not be alive without them.

Additional Resources

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CHAPTER 7

This work is not meant to be thorough, in fact, quite the opposite. I am merely attempting to share my experience strength and hope as it relates to academia and addiction. This section will provide readers with additional information and on going treatment groups for support.

AcidLSD, very little is known academically about the effects of this drug, but it appears to mimic speed and act to inhibit the 5-HT serotonin filter.

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Index

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Airplane glueAn insulfated drug known as an inhalant. Often abused by kids or accidentally by working in poorly ventilated areas

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BoozeThe most interesting drug from a historical perspective, some cultures evolved to need it, while other evolved to die from it.

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Coca-ColaThe history and use of soda, specifically Coca-Cola, leads it to be a large part of drug culture on a modern economic scale.

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Cocaine-RoseCocaine has a deep a varied history, but in the last 50 years it has been associated with power and money leading to increasingly high street price.

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GrassSlang term for the cannibus plant, generally refers to chronic or indica strains.

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HashConcentrated form of THC suspended in fat or butane rather than carbon.

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HighThe effect of a drug that raises mood or euphoria

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MushroomsNaturally occurring psychedelic, the conditions in which they are grown and ingested often leads to emeisies.

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PCPDissociative anesthetic

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PharmaSlang term for drugs that are legally manufactured and distributed for the purpose for legitimatized medicine.

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PoppersAn inhalant version of speed

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QuaaludesPharmaceutical that has been off the market globally for several decades.

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SmackSlang term for heroin or any similar grade narcotic

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SmokedMight sound silly, but again, the route of administration is suflation however the drug is generally hydrocarbon based.

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SpeedThis is broad term that applies to pill form uppers and can be diet pills, ADD medication, or over the counter drugs that mimic amphetamines and work by increasing synaptic dopamine.

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Stonedslang term for being lazy and laid back as a result of cannabinoids

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