The Pulse 10.36 » September 5, 2013

September 5

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Vol. 10 • No. 36 ArtS » StrolliNg the hop

ava gallery hop and fresh exhibits

MUSiC NeW froM the ShAh SCreeN loCAl yoUtUbe CoMedy teACh SpiderS & keVlAr

Going Gluten-Free Isn't

Always A Horror Story.

2 • The Pulse • september 5-11, 2013 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com • september 5-11, 2013 • The Pulse • 3

thiS Week SepteMber 5-11 iN THE PULSE

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Janis hashe • gary Poole

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Cartoonists & Illustrators max cannon • Jen sorensen • Tom Tomorrow

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THE FINE PRINT: the pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. the pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. the pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. the pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer media. all rights reserved.

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Books. Lots of books. And more.We buy, sell and trade.

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AAA GLIDDEN TOUR

Cool Old Cars Invade City!

While Gary Numan might have wanted to spend a little more time in his car than most of us, Americans have long had an obsession with automo-biles, for their speed, beauty, sensuality, and power. And some of the most beautiful cars of all are some of the oldest.

September 8-13, pre-WWII automobile lovers get the opportunity to attend the largest premier antique automobile tour-ing event in the world: the Revival AAA Glidden Tour. Chattanooga is lucky to host

the traveling Glidden Tour for the first time ever, with more than 225 antique cars from around the country, including marques that have all but faded from history en-

tirely, like P a c k a r d ,

Hudson, Auburn and Marmon. (The oldest vehicle in the show is a 1909 Pierce Arrow 48. Yowser!)

Of course, this kind of serious event has serious rules—the automobiles must not only be built before World War II, but also must be original and running. The cars have to be road-worthy, as their 500 own-ers will be driving them all over the area.

Tours will include trips to Rock City, Chickamauga, South

Pittsburg, Sewanee, Red Clay State Park and Cleve-land. So, in other words, prepare for a lot of really

cool car sightings.On Friday afternoon,

Sept. 13, you can see the cars on display in the park-

ing lot of Westwood Baptist Church in Cleveland from noon to 3 p.m.

—Chelsea Sokol

MOVIES AT CENTER PARk

Bueller? Bueller?

They’re baaack!Baseball, Matthew Broderick, Indy (and

his dad, who appears to be Sean Con-nery)…through the magic of Movies at Center Park (formerly Movies at the 700 Block), they’re all returning to Chatta-noogan filmgoers this September. If you’re feeling nostalgic, or maybe want to pass along favorite childhood memories, come to Center Park to watch popcorn classics “The Sandlot,” “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” and “Indiana Jones and the Last Cru-sade.” River City Company has invited lo-cal bands to play before the movies, so get ready for music, movies, food trucks, beer, and wine to hijack 728 Market Street these three Saturdays in September:saturday, september 7:

“The Sandlot.” 1993 film about baseball, childhood friendship and The Beast.saturday, september 21:

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Classic 1986 film in which a high school wise guy is determined to have a day off from school, despite the principal’s lack of enthusiasm.

saturday, september 28:

“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” Classic teaming of two of the last movie stars: Harrison Ford and Sean Connery.

The movies are free and start at 8:45 p.m., but bring chairs and blankies as early as 7 to listen to music and enjoy some food-truck chow.

—C.S.

STRIDE UP STRINGERS

Stringers Ridge Park Grand Opening

Lace up the hiking boots—the eagerly awaited opening of the new Stringers Ridge Park happens this Saturday. After contro-versy over the land use, a concerted effort by the Trust for Public Land, the Tennes-see River Gorge Trust and the City of Chat-tanooga Parks Department has made this new park possible. Eight miles of new trail, outdoor-inspired art, and some of the most spectacular views in the city are just some of the reasons to get out there. According to the Trust for Public Lands folks: “Parking is available at Renaissance Park and you can walk / bike 5-6 blocks to the Spears Avenue trailhead,” and/or “Parking is avail-able at Bell Ave/Pine Ridge Road (right across the street from Nikki’s Restaurant). If you park here, make sure you bring your bike and ride over to Spears Avenue Trail-head or just plan on a good 30-minute hike to Spears Trailhead.)"

10:30 a.m. Saturday, September 7, String-ers Ridge Park, Spears Ave. Trailheadtpl.org/what-we-do/where-we-work/ten-nessee/driving-directions-to-spears-trail-head.html

—Staff

CHATTANOOGA’S WEEkLy ALTERNATIVENEWS • COMMENTARy • BULLETINS& PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEEDFACebOOk/chaTTanoogaPulse • tWItter @chaTTaPulseemAIL loVe leTTeRs, aDVIce & TRash TalK To [email protected]

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• Got a tip for The Bowl? Send your tips, love letters, advice and trash talk to: [email protected]. Letters and feedback are always welecome!


Chattanooga’s Premier Comedy Club

SEPTEMBER 5-7SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT - PG-18

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FORMER FEMALE STAND UP COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR

3224 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga, TNAdvance Tickets: (423) 529-2233

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Thursday $11.00Friday & Saturday $16.00

THELISTPulse »PICkS• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

Laughter Heals

Pulse »PICk OF THE LITTER

The comedy community unites to help one of its own when Jerry harvey, Jessica carter, Ben Thomp-son, Red squirrel, andie lynne, James Victor cherry and Thomas Prunier all hit the stage at the com-edy catch to benefit comic christy eidson, who is recovering from open-heart surgery. good time for a good cause. benefit for Christy eidsonsunday, 7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd.(423) 629-2233.thecomedycatch.com

fri09.06THAT OLD MOUNTAIN MUSIC

the 35th mountaineer Folk Festival• Well worth the drive to see the fest begin tonight with leroy Troy Boswell, the Blue creek Ramblers, and more than 100 old-timey craft booths.6:30 p.m. • Fall creek Falls state Park. Pikeville, Tn, (423) 881-5298,tnstateparks.com/fallcreekfalls

WHAT'S BEHIND THAT WALL?

“the secret Garden” • The CTC kicks off its 90th (!) season with the musical adapted from a favorite childhood story.8 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage,400 River St. (423) 267-8538. theatrecentre.com

sAt09.07FEMININE MySTIQUE

“Women painting Women: (r)evolution 2013• New exhibit of work from female artists from across the country opens during the highly anticipated AVA Gallery Hop.2-8 p.m. • Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712. townsendatelier.com

BEASTS OF BURDEN

black Jacket symphony: “some Girls”• The Stones may be old, but they’re still rollin’…even into the symphony hall. “Some Girls” never gets old.8 p.m. • Tivioli Theater, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583. chattanoogasymphony.org

thu09.05TAXI, PLEASE!

moon taxi, black taxi • Will not be hard to find a roll ‘n roll ride in downtown Chattanooga tonight.9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. rhythm-brews.com

ACTING UP A STORM

“the tempest”• Set sail for a two-hour tour of William Shakespeare’s isle of magic, monsters and drunken sailors. 7:30 p.m. • Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd., (423) 602-8640. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com


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SANDRA kURTz

Overheard in conversation:“I’m here for my [green] busi-

ness, but there’s not a more im-portant issue than environment. I wanted to be with like-minded people.”

“I’m a former lobbyist. I want to get involved.”

“Do you know about National Plug-In Day?”

“Teachers don’t get much, if any, developmental training about en-vironment and environment edu-cation.”

“I am impressed with the diver-sity and enthusiasm of the people I have met here. All seem to be working on air, land and water is-sues.”

Dr. John McFadden, the Coun-cil’s executive Director, greeted the crowd. “Natural resources are important to both community quality of life and the economy,” he said. He pushed for actions to preserve the environment, en-couraging use of solar power, en-ergy efficiency, and demand-side management through programs such as TVA/EPB’s Green Power

Switch. These last can lower the need for mountaintop-removal coal min-ing methods that hurt tourism jobs, he pointed out. He noted that the TEC also works to restore urban riv-ers and streams, including through the planting of trees. Last year, the TEC planted 25,000 trees across Tennessee.

McFadden introduced Tina Crawford, the new SE Tennessee Regional Director, now based in Chattanooga. Crawford has al-ready led an educational program for youth during the Alton Park Development Corporation Sum-mer Program. This youth group gained knowledge of city creeks as they tested for water quality, picked up trash, caught aquatic animals, planted trees, and en-joyed canoeing.

“I’m so honored to be able to be part of TEC’s work, “ said Craw-

ford. “I want to take your ideas and turn them into action for the benefit of the region’s environ-ment and us in it.”

Mayor Andy Berke expressed his approval of TEC’s heightened presence in the area.

“We live in one of the most amazing places in the world,” he stated. “We can see beauty in the heart of our city. We care about the environment around us. While there are only [a few] min-ers in Tennessee and while those jobs are important to them, there are about 150,000 jobs in tourism. We must take care of our environ-ment. “

The group was asked to list sug-gestions on what TEC could do to help the environment in Southeast Tennessee. Suggestions included:

• Fund selenium testing in mine drainage in Rock Creek drainage (North Hamilton County)

• Save our watersheds• Environmental education

for students and teachers • Progressive recycling and

composting programs for residential and commercial industries

• Better energy efficiency programs for businesses

• Inform the public about the real problems fracking causes

Why should TEC want to set up a special focus here in Chat-tanooga? After all, aren’t we the Environmental City, risen from ashes of America’s most-polluted city and leading the way for clean air, sustainable development and green building in Tennessee? Don’t people praise our city for our greenway system, outdoor rec-reation, fiber optics/Smart Grid technology, Climate Action work, increase of city tree canopy, and our “Chattanooga Way” long used to include citizen input in commu-nity planning?

As long as all our streams are still on the state “threatened and

impaired” list, our sewer system requires serious updating, we can’t easily walk or bike for daily sup-plies, our energy comes from un-healthy sources used inefficiently, we have food deserts, we are not adequately addressing the impact of climate disruption, and our na-tive biodiversity, floodplains, and forests are disappearing due to urban sprawl and development, there is still much work still to do.

Chattanooga may be ahead of other Tennessee cities, but from the global perspective, no place in the U.S. is sustainable. October 20, 2012 was Global Overshoot Day. That was the day when our demand on the planet’s resourc-es exceeded, or “overshot” what Earth can regenerate each year. According to annual ecological measurements tracked by Global Footprint Network, it now takes the Earth one year and six months to regenerate what we all used yearly. Rather than liquidating Earth’s resources, can our region model the way to more resource-efficient lifestyles? With the TEC in town, we have another leg-up helping us move in that direction.

The new TEC office is located at 302 West 6th Street in downtown Chattanooga. (423) 364-4619, [email protected]

Serious About The Scenic CityTennessee Environmental Council opens office downtown

IT WAS A FITTING LOCATION FOR A RARE EVENING. THE CROWD ARRIVED at The Crash Pad, the only LEED-certified “boutique hostel” in the world. A broad cross sec-tion of representatives from business, academia, government, environmental organizations and neighborhoods gathered outdoors for food, beverages and networking. They’d come to witness the launch of Tennessee Environmental Council (TEC)’s new satellite office for the SE Tennessee Region.

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MARC T MICHAEL

You Can Call Him Shah

LORD SUBLIMINAL—SHAHkIM—THAT BIG guy watching the door that you do not want to run afoul of...call him what you will, a few things are cer-tain: He’s an emcee, a poet and he has been an impor-

tant part of the local hip hop scene for almost two decades, working tirelessly to perfect and promote his art. And the local music scene is richer for it.

His first foray into music was back in 1987 in El Paso, where he and his cousin would write “silly rhymes” for the fun of it. For his cousin, it was an amusing pastime, but it struck a

deeper chord in Shah, who went on to study structure, arrangement and the mechanics behind writing and producing, while paying particularly close attention to the revolutionary N.W.A. and their emergent “gangsta rap” sound.This effort came to fruition upon his ar-rival in Chattanooga in 1994, when he met DeWayne Holloway and Vibe Tribe Entertainment, an affilia-tion that would soon see him performing onstage for the first time at the M.T.S.U. music hall.

For nearly a decade after that first perfor-mance, Shah stayed busy traveling, writing and performing, largely at community events, benefits, fundrais-ers, children’s gather-ings and neighborhood block parties.While putting in his time and paying his dues, Shah began amassing the material that would become his enormous catalog of original mu-sic, finding inspiration and spirituality in every new experience. The effect on his style was profound, a fact that become readily appar-ent when, in 2004, he finally entered the lo-cal music scene in full

force, making his second debut at The Local Performance Hall. Less than a year later, he would be presented with a Chatta-nooga Independent Artist award and from there it was “game on,” with a whirlwind of appearances at local venues including The Attic, Lamar’s, Ziggy’s and the Green Martian. More recently he can be found performing at J.J.’s Bohemia and Sluggo’s Vegetarian Café.

After his initial success, Shah spent a great deal of time on the road, a pilgrimage to various East Coast hip hop meccas from Miami to Chicago and on to New York, where he made what has proven to be one of his most important acquaintances, Popa Wu, mentor to the Wu Tang Clan and ex-pert on the philosophy of the Five Percent Nation. Brooklyn provided a treasure trove of new opportunities for Shah. While there, he opened for Whild Peach (the backing band for Outkast), made numerous guest

appearances on the albums of up-and-comers, and performed at pivotal venues like The Bowery Poetry, The Pyramid Club, the legendary Nuyorican and the Exit Club in Manhattan, before eventually bringing it all back home to Chattanooga.

I was fortunate to be there at some of Shahkim’s early performances in Chatta-nooga. Even then, his intensity and pas-sion were striking. Indeed, the ferocity of his live shows often belied the underlying complexity of his lyrics, whether they were tackling social issues, politics or spiritu-ality. There was a greater depth to what Shah was doing than was typical in the hip hop of the era. In the time since then, he has only managed to refine that approach, until now, with the upcoming release of his latest album, Shah-man, the music has reached a level of sophistication on par with the lyrics, always with the underly-ing theme of educating the people. Even a quick listen to the new track, “Let’s Get it On Ruffy” will confirm that his mastery of form has reached a new plateau, a place where he is equally comfortable in front of the mic or behind the mixing console. The maturity of his work has given him the ability to glide effortlessly between hip hop, R&B, soul, funk, electronica, and on into the realm of weird new fusion. It is the 21st century, after all. and the lines of distinction between musical genres have blurred. More crossovers and collabora-tions than ever before are the hallmark of this new hybrid style. And in this realm of almost limitless new possibilities, Shah-kim is one of the pioneers leading the way.

No release date has been set for Shah-man yet, and given the man’s attention to detail and penchant for experimentation, it may be early next year before the album is available, but there is no doubt it will be worth the wait. In the meantime, you can follow Shah in all the usual places on Face-book and Reverbnation and on the mic at Sluggo’s Café and J.J.’s Bohemia.

Local Lord of the hip hip scene due for new release


Between the Sleeves RECORD REVIEWS • ERNIE PAIk

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

honest music local and regional shows

Wed, Sep 4Thu, Sep 5Wed, Sep 11Thu, Sep 12

9pm9pm9pm9pm

Jason & The Punknecks with Get Hot or Go Home [$5]Turchi with Radio Bird and Hot Damn [$5]Corey Murdock, Al Holbrook, John Taylor Haston Band [$5]Sick/Sea with the Mailboxes [$3]

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm, Followed by Live MusicSunday, Sep 15 - Acoustic Showcase

With all the excessive retro revivalism of recent memory, this

writer is somewhat baffled by the fact that the British outfit Fam-ily Fodder, which began in the late-’70s post-punk era, still re-mains obscure. Alig Fodder is the group’s sole consistent member, and the band played like fear-less children in the middle of the street, at the intersection of pop music and avant-garde sound-love. They rubbed elbows with similarly off-center groups like Flying Lizards and This Heat,

and their music seems like the result of having to negotiate a million different intense tastes; rather than diluting the end out-put, this only seemed to magnify the proceedings and make them sound more unique. In a better world, they’d be enjoying number one hits, and if their animated, irresistible and somewhat nuts 1980 track “Savoir Faire” does nothing for you, then sorry, I can’t help you.

Family Fodder’s latest album, Variety, is a mid-fidelity record-ing that accompanies a series of

online films, and it features vocalist Dar-lini Singh-kaul, who is actually the daughter of original Family Fodder singer D o m i n i q u e Levillain. The opener “Déjà Déjà Vu” sports an irrepress-ible momentum and quotes from an earlier song “He a r t b e a t s ” while channel-ing the kinetic energy of some of the group’s

best numbers. There’s a pervasive Jamaican dub influence, heard on several tracks like “The Pain Won’t Go” and “Vampyre on My Mind,” featuring whispered spo-ken vocals, disorienting squeaks and synthetics and a reggae pulse—this writer goes back and forth between loving this song and thinking it’s completely ri-diculous. The instrumental “Blue Puppies” suggests the mystery of a detective skulking about, with thumb piano textures, and “It’s 1965” is a cheeky dose of glam and psychedelic rock with indul-

gent guitar wailing. The percus-sion and accordion-enhanced “Sitting in a Puddle” is a high-light, with a restless attitude, and other moments transport the listener to some bizarro-world outdoor European café. It’s not a perfect album, but for Family Fodder fans, it scratches an itch no one else can.

Once upon a time, the lit-erate Scottish pop band Belle and Sebastian had

perfected the EP as a recording format, with stand-alone 3-song or 4-song releases; these were appropriately sequenced with sensible song arcs, among them the career highlights Lazy Line Painter Jane and 3.. 6.. 9 Seconds of Light. As a sort of follow-up to the 2005 EP compilation Push Barman to Open Old Wounds, the new 1-CD, 2-LP collection The Third Eye Centre gathers b-sides and miscellanea from the past decade. Honestly, it’s a bit of a lovely mess—the song sequenc-es of the compiled EPs have been jumbled, and obsessive fans will be quick to note that it doesn’t include every non-album track since 2003’s Dear Catastrophe Waitress.

In its first several years, Belle and Sebastian had been pigeon-

holed as music for rimmed-glass-es-wearing, bookish, shy, cam-era-toting youngsters, but nev-ertheless, the band’s attention to song craft was remarkable; in the last decade, the group—perhaps feeling wanderlust or experienc-ing a fit of non-complacency—be-gan to offer more diversions and experiments. Perhaps the most extreme example of this is the fan-favorite soul-disco number “Your Cover’s Blown,” presented here in a dance-enhanced remix by Miaoux Miaoux, which trans-forms itself multiple times over its six-minute duration.

Globe-trotting selections in-clude the samba-infused “Love on the March,” the Jamaican in-fluenced “The Eighth Station of the Cross kebab House,” an Af-ro-pop version of “I’m a Cuckoo” remixed by The Avalanches, the faux-spy-soundtrack instrumen-tal “Passion Fruit,” and even a honky tonk number, “Stop, Look and Listen.” Crammed with oddi-ties, The Third Eye Centre offers convenience for non-completists, and while the tracks here aren’t allowed to breathe in their own spaces in a less cluttered release format, song-for-song, this writer finds the collection more charm-ing and satisfying than the last proper album, Write About Love.

Scratch your itch with Family Fodder or Belle and Sebastian

Family FodderVariety(state51 conspiracy)

Belle and SebastianThe Third eye centre(matador)

Brit Street Kids, Scot Indie Nerds


Chattanooga Live MUSIC CALENDAR

thursdAy 09.05

scenic City roots6 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929, track29.coJimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comthe Loop7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comturchi, radio birds, Hot Damn9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.comOpen mic with Hap Henninger9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn), (423) 634-9191 the Djanganooga9 p.m. Jack a's chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739. jackaschopshopsaloon.commoon taxi, black taxi9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

fridAy 09.06

35th Annual mountaineer Folk Festivalall day, Fall creek Falls, 2009 Village camp Rd. Pikeville. fallcreekfalls.orgJohnny Cash tribute show5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.comJimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.combrian Ashley Jones7 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad st. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.com.Caravan of Change7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.comWide Open Floor8 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. 423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.orgCaravan of Change Fundraiser 7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.comthe scott Little band8 p.m. acoustic café, 61

RBc Dr., Ringgold, ga.(706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.comHere Come the mummies9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 521-2929, track29.coLeverage9 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.comthe micks9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956,sugarsribs.comkate & Corey9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-919190 proof9 p.m. Jack a's chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.comDJ bree-Z9 p.m. Bart's lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Terr. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.comZoso: the Ultimate tribute to Led Zeppelin10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com3 and 2010 p.m. Raw, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919, facebook.com/raw.chattanoogaragdoll rocks buds sports bar

10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.commother of pearl10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240, tboneschattanooga.com

sAturdAy 09.07

35th Annual mountaineer Folk Festivalall day. Fall creek Falls, 2009 Village camp Rd. Pikeville. fallcreekfalls.orgJohnny Cash tribute show5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com starNight featuring Wilson phillips6 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st. (423) 649-2496, siskin.orgJimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comseven Handle Circus7 p.m. Riverfront nights, 21st century Waterfront Park. riverfrontnights.comrosedale remedy7 p.m. Palms Patio at The

scenic City roots the scott Little band

LIVE MUSIC

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All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, September 5: 9pmOpen Mic

with Hap HenningerFriday, September 6: 9pm

Kate & CoreySaturday, September 7: 10pm

Kara-Ory-OkeTuesday, September 10: 7pmServer/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics

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The Band Raven

Chattanooga Live MUSIC CALENDAR

Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202 (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.combrian Ashley Jones7 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad st. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.comseXy beast8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Dr. Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.commatthew kahler8 p.m. charles and myrtle’s coffeehouse, 105 mcBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org90 proof9 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.comthe band raven9 p.m. Jack a's chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.comDJ bree-Z9 p.m. Bart's lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.comthe micks9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comkara-Ory-Oke10 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191

Griz, state trooper, Dollabill10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.comFive 4010 p.m. Raw, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919, facebook.com/raw.chattanooga

sundAy 09.08

35th Annual mountaineer Folk Festivalall day, Fall creek Falls, 2009 Village camp Rd. Pikeville. fallcreekfalls.orgVeronika Jackson12:30 p.m. chattanooga market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 carter st. chattanoogamarket.comJohn Lathim & michelle Young2 p.m. chattanooga market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 carter st. chattanoogamarket.comOpen Improv Jam3 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.orgChattanooga traditional Irish music session5 p.m. moccasin Bend Brewing company, 4015 Tennessee ave. (423) 821-6392,bendbrewingbeer.com

elise Davis7 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com

mondAy 09.09

big band Night7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comsouthside Casual Classics7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.comCarbon Denominator, the Nim Nims, H-beam, skinny Ill9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

tuesdAy 09.10

tim starnes & Friends7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com

WednesdAy 09.11

Jimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comDan sheffield7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comprime Cut House band8 p.m. The lounge at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comCourtney Daly with Ivan Wilson8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Dr., Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.comCarey murdock, Al Holbrook, John taylor Haston band9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com2nFro & Frenz9 p.m. Pokey’s sports Bar, 918 sahara Dr. cleveland. (423) 476-6059rosco bandana9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

brian Ashley Jones John Lathim & michelle Young

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].


But the desire to go gluten free now includes many others: People with Crohn’s disease and IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), those who have

self-diagnosed as being “gluten sensi-tive,” those who think it will aid weight loss, and those who believe, like the car-diologist who wrote Wheat Belly, that genetically modified wheat is simply un-healthful.

David katz, M.D., director of the Yale Prevention Research Center, published a 2011 Huffington Post article in which he wrote, “Studies based on blood kept in storage clearly indicate that actual rates of celiac disease have risen over recent decades, as much as four-fold in the past half a century. There is more to this story than better detection.”

Yet Dr. katz does not tout going gluten free as a magic bullet for all that ails ya, cautioning, “…it is still quite hard [to go fully gluten free], given the widespread use of gluten in packaged foods, under a

wide variety of aliases. The effort is well justified for those who are truly gluten-sensitive, but potentially much ado about nothing for others just caught up in the trend.”

But many people have found relief of ongoing symptoms by adopting a gluten-free diet, including those who have con-ditions other than celiac disease.

Thirteen-year-old Errin Foster is the son of well-known local radio personal-ity Eric Foster. When Errin was 11, he began repeatedly throwing up and losing weight. “One day, when he stepped out of the shower, I realized how much weight he had lost,” Foster recalls. “We imme-diately took him to a pediatrician, who diagnosed him with Crohn’s disease [an inflammatory bowel disease].”

Errin was put on prednisone, a ste-roid that often causes a whole other set of symptoms. The Fosters wanted to find a different solution, so they found Dr. Youhonna Al-Tawil, director of East Tennessee Children’s Hospital Pediatric

Gastroenterology and Nutrition Servic-es. Besides prescribing Remicade, com-monly used to treat Crohn’s, Dr. Al-Tawil suggested an almost gluten-free diet for Errin.

Now the entire Foster family eats a nearly gluten-free diet. “Errin has to stay away from anything with seeds. Fast food is limited to some choices at Subway. And as a young man, that has been difficult at times,” says Foster. But, he says, Errin’s symptoms are now under control, and he has embraced his role as an educator about his condition. “And my wife and I also feel much healthier,” Foster says.

Chattanooga State theatre arts profes-sor Jeffrey Parker was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was 18, and has been coping with the condition ever since. “The symptoms can be pretty seri-ous. I have been on every regimen over the years,” he says. A theatre colleague introduced him to the Specific Carbohy-drate Diet (SCD), created in the 1920s by Dr. Sidney V. Hass, and popularized by

Giving Gluten the Boot

A BOOk CALLED WHEAT BELLY IS ON THE NEW YORk TIMES BESTSELLER LIST, focusing on claims that eating wheat is a health hazard.

Early in August, the FDA released a new set of standards for the labeling of “gluten-free” products, which have soared in popularity—and profitability—partly due to increased knowl-edge about celiac disease, an autoimmune disease in which the body reacts to the gluten pro-tein found in grains by attacking it, causing inflammation and a whole range of symptoms. How many Americans have celiac disease is in dispute. FDA figures put it at 3 million.

Why are so many going gluten free? And should they?

by Janis Hashe

» P. 19


Where To Go Gluten Free

Information about the medical and nu-tritional aspects of celiac disease and the various incarnations of gluten in-tolerance are easy to find (see “Giving Gluten the Boot” in this issue). But

one aspect of gluten-free foods that is not discussed as freely is taste. If you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of encounter-ing mass-produced, low-quality, gluten-free bread or one of those circular affronts to hu-manity called a gluten-free bagel, then you may be under the impression that eating glu-ten free means tossing your taste buds under the bus. The absence of gluten can certainly have an effect on the taste and texture of many foods—but recent innovations prove it will take a lot more than a lifelong, inherited autoimmune condition to stop us from eating delicious cupcakes and crunchy baguettes.

Gluten is a sticky protein that makes pizza dough stretchy, helps pasta hold together and works to trap gas within baked goods, giv-ing them their light, airy structure. Baking or cooking without gluten’s assistance means finding substitutes that can provide those

stretchy, sticky, airy properties we all love, while maintaining the flavors we expect.

A wide variety of gluten-free flours, starch-es and baking aids, such as xanthan gum, eggs, and rice flour can be used to produce high-quality baked goods and pasta—but taste and texture were a tragic casualty in many early attempts, often resulting in tex-tures indistinguishable from the packaging they came in and aftertastes more bitter and off-putting than Taylor Swift fresh from a breakup. Now, however, there are gluten-free options appearing all over town that are al-most indistinguishable from their gluteneous brethren.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that I am not gluten intolerant. I can toler-ate enough gluten to fill the stockroom at an Olive Garden. However, I do have a growing number of friends and family members that are, so I periodically find myself sampling gluten-free items that they always swear are “as good as the real thing.” Most of the time I politely smile and try not to react like Tom Hanks eating caviar, but there are times

when good taste, good texture and gluten free all miraculously come together.

Crave Cafe and Bakery's Turkey and Cran-berry sandwich is a great example of how you can have a flavorful, quick, 100 percent glu-ten-free lunch. Tender roasted turkey, lettuce and tomato are piled on Crave's house-made bread and topped with their from-scratch cranberry sauce for a comfort food win. The folks at Crave have done a good job of creating gluten-free breads and baked goods that have excellent flavor and don't crumble like last year's fruitcake. The great news is they serve equally tasty breakfast, soups, salads and desserts that are all 100 percent gluten free.

Places like Artisan Bakery in Hixson and the eateries at the Bluff View Arts District use their extensive knowledge and dedicated gluten-free spaces to produce some of the best GF breads and pastas you'll find anywhere. As a self-described carbonara aficionado, I was pleasantly surprised at the richness and creaminess of Tony's Pasta Shop and Trat-toria's gluten-free spaghetti carbonara—and how it left no gritty aftertaste like so many

IF YOU’VE SET FOOT INSIDE A GROCERY STORE, FARMER’S MARkET OR been within earshot of Gwyneth Paltrow in the past five years, then you’ve heard the phrase gluten free. You’d think that in a city like Chattanooga, where the majority of residents were weaned on buttermilk biscuits and red velvet cake, that such a high lev-el of continued exposure would render most residents as immune to gluten intolerance as Miley Cyrus to criticism. But the Scenic City has its share of gluten-intolerant folks, and businesses offering gluten-free foods are showing up in every corner of the city.

Chattanooga’s restaurants offer increasing alternatives

by Mike McJunkin

» P. 19


Arts JANIS HASHE

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Many top Hop destinations are back on the map, and, as usual, there are some new ones as well, says AVA’s Lauren Goforth. “Both Chattanooga Work Space and

Open Press are new this year,” she said. Chattanoo-ga Work Space, at 302 W. 6th Street, is a new collective artists’ studio, and Open Press, at 1271B Market Street, is a new

print art collective. As usual, a number of galler-

ies will be using the Hop to open new exhibits, including AVA with its always-anticipated FRESH

(see sidebar for details).Meanwhile, a very popular fea-

ture introduced last year is back, says Goforth—the “Win An In-stant Art Collection” drawing. “Each participating gallery, stu-dio or space has donated either a piece of art or a gift certificate,” she explains. “Hoppers are given a ‘bingo card,’ and those who visit at least 10 stops qualify for the drawing.”

Also back is the Hop bro-chure, which features a map and

a description of each gallery and studio, and will be available at all participating galleries. This enables you to create your own route and ensures you don’t for-get about that one place you real-ly, really wanted to see. The Hop offers the rare chance for most folks to actually meet the artists, talk to them about their work, and in some cases, watch demos of their processes.

This year’s Gallery Hop line-up includes: AVA, Artifact, Ate-

lier 18, Art at the INCubator, Art Connections, Area 61, Chambliss' Art Connection, Chattanooga Workspace, Gallery 1401, Graf-fiti, H*ART Gallery, Ignis Glass, In-Town Gallery, Miki Boni Stu-dio, Open Press, Plum Nelly, Riv-er Gallery, Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, Tanner Hill Gallery, Townsend Atelier, UTC Cress Gallery of Art and Winder Binder Gallery & Bookstore. More infor-mation: avagalleryhop.com/

All the Cats And Chicks Get Their Kicks At the Hop

NOT TOO SURE ABOUT “SLOP,” BUT YOU CAN definitely rock, roll and stroll at one of Chattanooga’s favorite art events, the annual AVA Gallery Hop. From 2 to 8 p.m. this Saturday, cats and chicks of all ages will be roaming the streets in search of the galleries and art studios on this year’s roster.

Well, you can rock it you can roll it

You can slop and you can stroll it at the hop

Nonstop hopping happens Saturday

Gallery Hop: Miki Boni Studios, 1611 Mitchell Avenue, Southside"Rhoda of the Dendrums" 40x 40 oil on canvas

»


GOFORTH IS ALSO ENTHUSIASTIC about this year’s FRESH Emerging Artist Exhibit, which opens the day of the Hop and will have its opening reception during that evening. FRESH showcases new pri-marily young artists “from throughout the Southeast,” she says. “As always, we have a great mix of types of work, both 3D and 2D, and this year, we are featuring drawings as well.”

AVA continues to maintain its core com-mitment to supporting “young and emerg-ing artists,” and FRESH allows this group to both show their work and gain impor-tant professional experience. The exhibit is juried, so only top new artists are selected each year. They do not have gallery repre-

sentation and have not had solo shows, and for many, this will be the first time their work is widely seen—and for sale. “There are only a few pieces in the show that are not for sale,” Goforth says, meaning it’s a prime opportunity for collectors to find a promising newcomer.

Among the artists featured are Chatta-noogans ken Herrin, Michelle kimbrell, Turry Lindstrom and Stephen Nemecek, and from Collegedale, Marc Boyston.

“FRESH: Emerging Artists Exhibit 2013,” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.orgOpens Sept. 7, continues through Oct. 25.

Work by Ariel Lavery

Work by Turry Lindstrom


thursdAy 09.05

painting Workshop: “two birds at sunset”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.compainting Workshop: Choose your “Owl team”7 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com“the tempest”7:30 p.m. ensemble Theatre of chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchatta-nooga.cometta may 7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

fridAy 09.06

pre-k Day: Fall Harvest10 a.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.orgpainting Workshop: Daytime “Fruit”2 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.compainting Workshop: “sugar skull”7 p.m. uptown art, 2

cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.compainting Workshop: “blue Forest”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.cometta may7:30 & 9:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com“the tempest”7:30 p.m. ensemble Theatre of chattanooga,5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchatta-nooga.comWide Open Floor8 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org“the secret Garden”8 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.comstand-up Comedy: Luke Francis Ashlocke9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sAturdAy 09.07tennessee Valley railfest10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad museum, 4119 cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, tvrail.comsilk painting Workshop

10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Townsend atelier, 201 W. main st. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.comriver market Yoga10 a.m. chattanooga River market, Tennessee aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad st. (423) 648-2496, chattanoogarivermarket.comFootball at the Fallsnoon - 6 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.comDoggie paddle pool partynoon - 3 p.m. Warner Park Pool, 1254 east Third st. mckameyanimalcenter.orgGeorgia Winery: 30th Anniversary party2 p.m. - 7 p.m. georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy, Ringgold, ga.(706) 937-WIne, georgiawines.com“the secret Garden”2, 8 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.comChattanooga Cruise-In2 p.m. coker Tire company, 1317 chestnut st. (423) 265-6368, chattanoogacruise-in.comAVA’s 7th Annual Gallery Hop2 p.m. - 8 p.m. galleries in the chattanooga area. avagalleryhop.comroll, stroll, & ride4 p.m. - 7 p.m. mystery Dog Ranch, 975 Wooten Rd. (423) 778-2222, boehmbdc.com

siskin Children’s Institute’s starNight 20136 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st. (423) 649-2496, siskin.orgpainting Workshop: “Flip Flop beach”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.compainting Workshop: “elephant”7 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100 (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com“the tempest”7:30 p.m. ensemble Theatre of chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchatta-nooga.comCsO/black Jacket symphony: “some Girls”8 p.m. Tivoli Theater, 709 Broad st. (423) 267-8583,chattanoogasymphony.orgmes presents: “Computer Chess”8:30 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.orgetta may7:30 & 9:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.comstand-up Comedy: Luke Francis Ashlocke10:30 p.m. Vaudeville café,

etta may Wide Open Floor

Arts Entertainment& EVENTS CALENDAR

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sundAy 09.08

Harvest run 8k7 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 carter st. chattanoogamarket.comHarvest Festival11 a.m. - 4 p.m. chattanooga market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 carter st. chattanoogamarket.comtennessee Valley railfest10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad museum, 4119 cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, tvrail.comFootball at the Fallsnoon - 6 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com“the tempest”2:30 p.m. ensemble Theatre of chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd.(423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchatta-nooga.compainting Workshop: “Funky Owls”4 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.compainting Workshop: “Dirt road”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

benefit for Christy eidson7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.comOpen Improv Jam8 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.orgstand-up Comedy: Luke Francis Ashlocke10:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st., (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

mondAy 09.09

painting Workshop: “American safari” Family Night5:30 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.compainting Workshop: “Funky Flowers”7 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com

tuesdAy 09.10painting Workshop: Art After school “puppy Love”4 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.compainting Workshop: “Fleur de Lis”7 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.compainting Workshop: “second base”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.comComedy: Friendship explosion from Nashville9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

WednesdAy 09.11painting Workshop: spirit Wednesday - “roll tide!”7 p.m. uptown art, 2 cherokee Blvd., suite 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.compainting Workshop: “Watermelon”7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Terrace, (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

on goingmagic tree House traveling exhibit10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-sun. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org“Whitfield Lovell: Deep river”10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Thur., 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Fri.-sat, noon - 5 p.m. sun. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View ave.(423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org

“Journeys”10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-sat, 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. sun. River gallery, 400 e. 2nd st. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com“Iconic Chattanooga”10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-Fri. Reflection gallery, 6922 lee hwy. (423) 892-3072, reflectionsgalleryTn.comFor All the World to see: Visual Culture and the struggle for Civil rights10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-Fri., noon- 4 p.m. sat. Bessie smith cultural center, 200 e. martin luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org“FresH”11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- sat. aVa gallery, 30 Frazier ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org“Jennie kirkpatrick: Flavor of the market”11 a.m. - 6 p.m., mon-sat, 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. sun. In-Town gallery, 26a Frazier ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.comrock City raptors11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-sat, Rock city, 1400 Patten Rd., lookout mtn, ga. seerockcity.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

"the tempest" Harvest Festival

Arts Entertainment& EVENTS CALENDAR


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Local Yucks On YouTube

Joel Ruiz, creator of Evatt & Bloom Productions, hopes to do the same with for comedy in Chattanooga. His most recent project is a collection of short comedy sketches, featuring local actors and film production, which will be released every Monday through the end of September on their YouTube Channel.

“The comedy scene has grown immensely in the last four years,” Ruiz says.“I started to run a comedy show out of JJ’s four years ago that has turned into two different monthly showcases: Friendship Explosion [bringing in regional comics from around the Southeast], and the Com-edy Buffet [bringing national

touring headliners] along with a weekly open mic every Wednes-day at JJ’s Bohemia.”

Ruiz continues, “I feel the change has come with the resur-gence of stand-up in pop culture, as well as the access to stand-up. For the longest time, there was only place to see stand-up in town, and they cater to a cer-tain stand-up audience. We try and bring comics from all styles of stand-up with one reccur-ring theme—they are funny.” Like the music and film scenes before it, the key to developing comedy in Chattanooga is to create an en-vironment that is attractive to co-medians. Ruiz and company have brought major names in comedy

to Chattanooga during the past four years, such as Doug Stan-hope and James Adomian. These type of events show that there is a receptive and eager audi-ence for comedy in Chattanooga, which will only serve to boost the emerging comedy scene.

The sketch pieces are a new direction for Evatt & Bloom, one that utilizes a solid set of col-laborators in the local film com-munity. “I am a Chattanooga native,” Ruiz says, “so I wanted to help grow the film and comedy scene with these sketches. I love to see this town grow every week with great shows and events oth-ers put on. I feel with each new show someone puts on, it makes more people want to come here. We do a lot of work with Mise En Scenesters and 423 Bragging Rights, two other locally based companies. The film and com-edy scene could very easily grow together, and I hope that is what results from this.”

The first sketch features local actors Lora Chatman and Ste-phen Carignan in an amusing routine about text messaging. All of the sketches are written and directed by Ruiz, with talent be-ing drawn from organizations like Theater For the New South

and Mise En Scenesters. The first sketch appeared on August 26, and a new one will be released ev-ery Monday until September 23.

Comedy is likely the most dif-ficult of art forms. Laughter tends be rooted in surprise, in the un-

expected, and people come to stand-up shows expecting to laugh. That expectation can be an obstacle for the comedian. The difficulty lies in overcoming the audience’s preconceptions about the show, and encouraging them to set aside expectation in the hopes of delivering an honest ex-perience. Ruiz has shown in his first sketch that he and his pro-duction company are emerging talents in the field and should be watched closely. It’s a good time to be a comedy fan in Chatta-nooga.

more information on evatt & bloom can be found on Facebook: facebook.com/EvattBloom

Upcoming comedy shows:

• Sept. 10: Friendship Explosion (Nashville)

• Sept. 24: Comedy Buffet with Shane Mauss and Joe DeRosa

• Sept 25: Comedy Open Mic featuring Ben kronberg (New York)

• Oct. 1: Comedy Buffet with Derek Sheen, Bryan Cook and Heather Thomson

• Oct. 15: Friendship Explosion (Athens, GA)

In the time I’ve lived in Chattanooga, the arts scene has in-creasingly become deeper and more diverse. When I was in college, there were only a handful of live music venues, mostly featuring Southern rock cover bands or adolescent punk. Mov-ies were devoutly multiplex experiences, featuring only the lat-est Hollywood vehicles for Johnny Depp or Adam Sandler. Strictly speaking, there wasn’t a lot that featured any real artistic merit. But then things began to change—more music venues opened, real artists started appearing in town, and a genuine indie movie scene started to form. Now, Chattanooga can boasts acts like Sara Bareilles and we can see films by Ter-rence Malick.

“His most recent

project is a

collection of short

comedy sketches,

featuring local

actors and film

production, which

will be released

every Monday

through the end of

September on their

YouTube Channel.

Evatt & Bloom releases collaborative comedy sketches


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Cycle by biochemist Elaine Gottschalk. SCD, which is gluten free, also restricts many other types of foods.

“It’s essentially a two-year plan. After that, you can try reintroducing certain foods,” says Parker. “So far, I have found it to be incredibly effective.” The idea is to give the body time to heal itself and “detox,” he explains. “I feel better than I have in years.” (It’s worth noting that many doctors remain suspicious of the SCD, and many people find the diet’s re-strictions too onerous.)

In 2007, local graphics designer Robin Seaman began noticing skin and joint problems and “foggyheadedness.” A cousin suggested she try removing certain foods from her diet, and she did, for a year. “When I began adding foods back in, especially ones with wheat, the symptoms began to return,” she says. “I didn’t associate it specifically with glu-ten.” Then, last Christmas, when she was making a family-tradition braided bread, her hands “started to feel like they were on fire.” She immediately cut out all foods with wheat gluten.

“I have not been diagnosed with celiac disease,” she says, “but I have gluten in-tolerance.”

Like Foster and Parker, Seaman notes that it’s now far easier for those try-ing to avoid gluten to eat out and find products in mainstream grocery stores. “For example,” she says, “5 Guys Burg-ers and Fries is very careful to avoid cross-contamination. I can eat fish ta-cos, and there are sushi restaurants now that have gluten-free soy sauce. More and more restaurants have gluten-free menus or items on their regular menus that are gluten free.”

• CraveCafeandBakery 1110 Market St. (423) 531-1060

• ArtisanBakery 5228 Hixson Pike. (423) 876-1922

• BluffViewArtsDistrictRestaurants 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033

• 212Market 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212

• Lupi’sPizzaDowntown 406 Broad St. (423) 266-5874

• Lupi’sPizzaEastBrainerd 1414 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-4104

• Lupi’sPizzaHixson 5504 Hixson Pike (423) 847-3700

• GoodDog 34 Frazier Ave. (423) 475-6175

• MellowMushroomDowntown 205 Broad St. (423) 266-5564

• MellowMushroomWaterside 2318 Lifestyle Way (423) 468-3737

GF pastas do. These are certainly not the only res-

taurants and bakeries in town offering gluten-free items, and they are far from the only ones producing flavorful and pleasantly textured GF food. Restau-rants such as 212 Market, Lupi’s, Good Dog and Mellow Mushroom do a superb job of being gluten-free friendly, Chefs in most of the locally owned, fine-dining restaurants around town can create or adjust dishes to accommodate gluten-free diners. If you prefer a Pioneer Mom approach, you can buy everything you’ll ever need to make your own gluten-free grub at the well-stocked Mimi's Low Carb Market in Hixson.

If you are one of the thousands of Chat-tanoogans with celiac or Crohn’s disease, or are gluten intolerant, you no longer have to just order a salad or suffer the in-dignity of eating a bowl of what appears to be shredded cardboard posing as pas-ta or sandwiches made on dry, flavorless slices of old carpet backing. Gluten free can be delicious , too!

« P. 13« P. 12


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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his “Song of the Open Road,” Walt Whitman wrote some lyr-ics that I hope will provide you with just the right spark. Even if you’re not embarking on a literal journey along a big wide high-way, my guess is that you are at least going to do the metaphori-cal equivalent. “Henceforth I ask not good fortune—I myself am good fortune,” said Uncle Walt. “Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing. Strong and content, I travel the open road.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Mys-tical poet St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) was one of Spain’s greatest writers. But not all of his work came easily. When he was 35, a rival religious group imprisoned him for his mildly heretical ideas. He spent the next nine months in a ten-foot by six-foot jail cell, where he was starved, beaten, and tortured. It was there that he composed his most renowned poem, “Spiritual Canticle.” Does that provide you with any inspiration, Libra? I’ll make a wild guess and speculate that maybe you’re in a tough situation yourself right now. It’s not even one percent as tough as St. John’s, though. If he could squeeze some brilliance out of his predicament, you can, too.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The American naturalist John Bur-roughs (1837-1921) traveled widely and wrote 23 books. “I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,” he testified, “all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.” Let’s make that long-ing for abundance serve as your ral-lying cry during the next two weeks, Scorpio. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you have a cosmic mandate to push to the limits—and sometimes beyond—as you satisfy your quest to be, see, and do everything you love to be, see, and do.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Punk icon Henry Rollins did an inter-view with Marilyn Manson, rock and roll’s master of the grotesque. It’s on Youtube. The comments section beneath the video are rife with spite and bile directed toward Manson, driving one fan to defend her hero. “I love Marilyn Manson so much that I could puke rainbows,” she testified. I think you will need to tap

into that kind of love in the coming days, Sagittarius: fierce, intense, and devotional, and yet also playful, funny, and exhilarating. You don’t necessarily have to puke rainbows, however. Maybe you could merely spit them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you want to know a secret, I talk less crazy to you Capricorns than I do to the other signs. I tone down my wild-eyed, goddess-drunk shape-shifting a bit. I rarely exhort you to don an animal costume and dance with the fairy folk in the woods, and I think the last time I suggested that you fall in love with an alien, an-gel, or deity was...never. So what’s my problem? Don’t you feel taboo urges and illicit impulses now and then? Isn’t it true that like everyone else, you periodically need to slip away from your habitual grooves and tamper with the conventional wisdom? Of course you do. Which is why I hereby repeal my excessive caution. Get out there, Capricorn, and be as uninhibited as you dare.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Ger-many’s Ostwall Museum displayed a conceptual installation by the artist Martin Kippenberger. Valued at $1.1 million, it was called “When It Starts Dripping from the Ceiling.” Part of it was composed of a rubber tub that was painted to appear as if it had once held dirty rainwater. One night while the museum was closed, a new janitor came in to tidy up the premises. While performing her tasks, she scrubbed the rub-ber tub until it was “clean,” thereby

damaging the art. Let this be a cautionary tale, Aquarius. It’s important for you to ap-preciate and learn from the messy stuff in your life—even admire its artistry—and not just assume it all needs to be scoured and disinfected.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In her novel White Oleander, Janet Fitch suggests that beauty is something to be used, “like a hammer or a key.” That’s your assignment, Pisces. Find practical ways to make your beauty work for you. For example, invoke it to help you win friends and influ-ence people. Put it into action to drum up new opportuni-ties and hunt down provoca-tive invitations. And don’t tell me you possess insufficient beauty to accomplish these things. I guarantee you that

you have more than enough. To un-derstand why I’m so sure, you may have to shed some ugly definitions of beauty you’ve unconsciously ab-sorbed from our warped culture.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “No regrets? Really?” asks author Rich-ard Power. “I have regrets. They are sacred to me. They inform my character. They bear witness to my evolution. Glimpses of lost love and treasure are held inside of them; like small beautiful creatures sus-pended in amber.” I think you can see where this horoscope is going, Aries. I’m going to suggest you do what Powers advises: “Do not avoid your regrets. Embrace them. Listen to their stories. Hold them to your heart when you want to remember the price you paid to become who you truly are.” (Find more by Rich-ard Power here: tinyurl.com/Rich-ardPower.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):Urban-dictionary.com says that the newly coined word “orgasnom” is what you call the ecstatic feelings you have as you eat especially delec-table food. It’s derived, of course, from the word “orgasm.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are in an excellent posi-tion to have a number of orgasmic-like breakthroughs in the coming week. Orgasnoms are certainly among them, but also orgasaurals, orgasights, and orgasversations—in other words, deep thrills result-ing from blissful sounds, rapturous visions, and exciting conversations. I won’t be surprised if you also expe-

rience several other kinds of beauti-ful delirium.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you were about to run in a long-distance race, you wouldn’t eat a dozen doughnuts. Right? If you were plan-ning to leave your native land and spend a year living in Ethiopia, you wouldn’t immerse yourself in learn-ing how to speak Chinese in the month before you departed. Right? In that spirit, I hope you’ll be smart about the preparations you make in the coming weeks. This will be a time to prime yourself for the ad-ventures in self-expression that will bloom in late September and the month of October. What is it you want to create at that time? What would you like to show the world about yourself?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): he Constitution of the United States is the supreme law of the land. It’s the foundation of the most politically powerful nation on the planet. And yet when it originally went into ef-fect in 1789, it was only 4,543 words long—about three times the length of this horoscope column. The Bill of Rights, enacted in 1791, added a mere 462 words. By contrast, In-dia’s Constitution is 117,000 words, more than 20 times longer. If you create a new master plan for your-self in the coming months, Cance-rian—as I hope you will—a compact version like America’s will be exactly right. You need diamond-like lucid-ity, not sprawling guesswork.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): There are two scientific terms for tickling. “Knismesis” refers to a soft, feath-ery touch that may be mildly plea-surable. It can be used to display adoring tenderness. The heavier, deeper kind of tickling is called “gargalesis.” If playfully applied to sensitive parts of the anatomy, it can provoke fun and laughter. Given the current planetary alignments, Leo, I conclude that both of these will be rich metaphors for you in the coming days. I suggest that you be extra alert for opportunities to symbolically tickle and be tickled. (P.S. Here’s a useful allegory: If you do the knismesis thing beneath the snout of a great white shark, you can hypnotize it.)

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ACROSS1 Baylor University city5 Far from slack9 Surgeon on daytime TV13 Airline that flies to Tel Aviv14 Nintendo franchise15 Awfully bloody16 “Brave New World” drug17 Place where cuts are part of the profit18 Bad sign, maybe19 “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots” band22 Roosted23 Dye family24 Box cover25 Uplifting company?27 Brit’s submachine gun29 Chiding sound32 It’s made with a lot of folding and chewing36 India.___ who covered “Imagine”37 DMV issuance38 Flight org. (anagram of CIAO)

39 Item for an exhaustive search, so to speak44 Gave grub to45 Woody Allen animated film46 Big name on 5th Avenue47 “Crouching Tiger” director Lee48 Work undercover49 Modest shelter52 “Unique New York” and “Cinnamon aluminum linoleum”57 Albert of sportscasts58 Aquarium buildup59 Exile for Napoleon60 50% of sechs61 Cowboy’s controls62 Banned fruit spray63 “How ___ is that?”64 Dict. entries65 Some employee data, for short

DOwN1 Bridge positions

2 Hawaii, the ___ State3 Was thought of4 “Lemony Snicket” evil count5 “I love you,” in a telenovela6 “You’re ___ Need to Get By”7 Japanese wheat noodle8 Knotty sort?9 iPhone rival10 Access for a wheelchair11 Galena and bauxite, for two12 Kind of Buddhism14 Gabor who slapped a cop20 Villain’s den21 “The Mod Squad” role26 Oh-so-precious27 1972 Olympics star Mark28 Texas or Georgia follower29 They may be crunchy or soft30 “The King and I” country

31 Drawer handle32 Big fishhook33 “Ugly Betty” actor Michael34 Piece of land35 The ___ from French Lick (Larry Bird)40 Orange drink on some of Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts41 Vigilant against attack42 Catches sight of43 Weekly septet47 Blacksmith’s block48 Gift on the seventh day of Christmas50 Citified51 1917 marked their end52 Hawaiian root53 Cookie that can be “Double Stuf”54 “Waiting for the Robert ___”55 “At last, the weekend!”56 Afternoon social activities57 1600, to Caesar

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From the Sumerians to the In-dus…the Aegeans to the Chinese (to their present Dirty-Ass Com-mie credit, the longest consistent civilization in the human story), the Romans to Lookout Moun-tain…they’ve all had armies for national (external) defense, and cops for civil (internal) order. And the entire lot of them have spent the last 5,100 freakin’ years with rotten bastards trying to poke holes in them with items ranging from pointy rocks to the good ol’ seven-six-two millimeter 148-grain full-metal jacket.

Just imagine: Just as I now sip coffee leaning against the edge of a counter in a kangaroo gas station wondering if some crack-head son-of-a-bitch is going to come in and spray the place with a MAC-10, some poor Sumerian bastard once had to lean against a rock or slave while sipping on fermented berries and honey,

wondering if some nimrod north-ern Iranian Elamite was going to come in and pelt him with stones or feces or whatever they used on the “street” (dusty trail?) back

then. I find the parallel comfort-ing, yet disturbing at the same time…but I digress.

To avoid this, soldiers used thick animal skins for leather armor, and in countries where animals were scarce and armies large, they used

thick woven reeds. (Yup: grass armor.)

Wooden shields would supple-ment this, then metal armor be-came the choice where available, made famous by the Greeks and Romans, and the knights of the Middle Ages.

Firearms changed this, of course, and the body-armor in-dustry effectively started over when a very clever chick named Stephanie kwolek was let out of the kitchen in 1965 just long

enough, apparently, to develop “kevlar” for the DuPont Corpo-ration, by spinning fiber from liquid crystalline solutions. (This was specifically mentioned for later reference.) Until this point in life, I thought the only danger-ous chick from the ’60s was the one that ran over the guy’s foot in the office with a John Deere lawnmower in an episode of “Mad Men,” but I totally stand corrected.

It was originally intended to re-place steel belting in vehicle tires, but 10 years later, it was field test-ed with cops as armor, and that’s where the pulse of modern ballis-tic protection started beating.

And now in 2013, it’s skipped a beat. Literally.

Scientists, probably men due to the nature of the investigation, have known for years that spider silk is generally about five times stronger than steel and seven times stronger than kevlar. It’s also more flexible, despite its size and weight, particularly for something that goes from a soft goo in the gut of a spider to the solid thread it becomes when it leaves its body.

Its key is its elasticity; just as kevlar stretches to allow dis-persal of the energy of a bullet, so does a spider’s thread dis-tribute the stress if an impact to the same effect, yet with greater

capacity than that lucky chick’s work for DuPont.

But the difference? DuPont is a multi-national conglomerate, while spiders are the very bas-tions of Evil on this Earth, scien-tifically established to climb up our bodies and with sharp fangs plant egg sacks in our necks, which will inevitably erupt in a burst of baby spiders, which will swarm our bodies and begin the cycle anew. Scientists know this shit, folks. Why aren’t you on-board?

Smart people since the begin-ning of time (time pre-dating “civilized” societies) have had the freakin’ common sense to stomp on the dirty sons-of-bitches or throw heavy things at them on first sight, but now that we’ve discovered an advantage, those same smart people are now try-ing to crack the genome profile of spider silk to synthesize the silk-making protein, and devis-ing mass-manufacture methods to produce it in volume.

Tomato plants (via seeds), bac-teria, yeast, and even goats have been used as genetic vehicles. Silkworms are the newest vehicle for mass production, and while it’s affected the way I view ketch-up, veal and bread in day-to-day life, that is now beside the point.

You see, scientific efforts have recently been redoubled with the

discovery of a new spider in 2010 on the island of Madagascar (known as Darwin’s Bark Spider, or C. darwini) that spins a web of nearly 2.8 square meters in diameter, with anchor strands of up to 75 feet in length that are up to 10 times stronger than kevlar. The biggest spider webs in the world. (Shudder.)

Never mind this feat of bio-logical engineering; think of the poor bastard that was in or near a river and discovered that sumbitch of a spider web nearly nine feet in diameter across the waterway. It isn’t the advance-ment in armor that would have come to my mind, but rather a practical way to incinerate that entire island regardless of its di-verse and unique life, just to be sure that shit didn’t escape and make landfall somewhere. Didn’t he see a single “Alien” movie?

Five thousand, one hundred years of advancement, and we’re using spiders for body armor pro-duction. kind of puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? It does for the poor bastard soldier and cop, anyway…but it beats grass reeds and chains, I suppose.

Here’s to “Civilization.” And an end to people trying to poke stuff into cops and soldiers … because if we’re down to spiders for pro-tection, should we even really be here?

Soldiers and cops have historically had two things in common: Shitty pay and the risk of perforation. Throughout history (civilized history, that is) they have existed, and not by coincidence, for there would be no civilization without them.

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The Pulse 10.36 » September 5, 2013