The Program

Suzann Young

Abigail C. Cochrane

December2016

Can they escape?

Join Sloane and James as they fight for their memories.

"Are You Okay?"

The responce to the dreaded question. A Lie.

An indepth an analysis ofhow strong the novel actually is.

What character are you?Find out inside!

Depression: A Personal Portrait

Welcome

About the Editor

Abigail C. Cochranelives in Tucson,Arizona, working as ahigh school Englishteacher in Sahuarita.She graduated fromthe University ofArizona with anundergraduate degreein Creative Writing.

In her spare time sheenjoys a nice run orcurling up with abook that is goodenough to share withher students.

Her guilty pleasure iswatching too muchFood Network.

Letter to the Reader

Dear Reader,

In this magazine you will find a simplified version of reading TheProgram by Suzanne Young.

The novel, set in a near or alternative future where depressioninduced suicide has become an epidemic, centers around Sloane’sfight for survival and her past. Still stinging from the loss of herbrother, Brady, to suicide, Sloane and her boyfriend, James, createa support system for each other, and their friend, Miller. This triohas already lost one friend, and Miller’s girlfriend, Lacey, to theThe Program, their school system's answer to the suicides, andthey refuse to lose another. However, this may not be somethingthey can prevent. While they see The Program as a fate worse thantheir own death, their parents see the memory erasingorganization as the last great hope for their children’s lives. Evensome of their own peers believe in The Program’s ability to savelives, even while taking the memories that make them human, thatthey will work with The Program, aiding the Doctors, Handlers,and Nurses in their jobs.

The Program as an 100% survival rate, the graduates being cured,but are you really alive without the memories that created you?

I hope you will enjoy this journey through the novel, TheProgram, making your own decision as you read.

Sincerely,

Abigail C. Cochrane

Editor

Contents

"This is what Depression Feels like"

5

A teen's view of depresion andthe stigma around it.

What's my Type?

An analysis of The Program'scharacters.

"Parental Pressures"

Explore how parental pressurescan cause more harm tha good.

An Image of Depression

Meet depression, as invisionedby Rob Wolfset.

"The Truth behind Suicide statistics"

An analysis of the taboo arounddiscussing the rising staristics.

Character Map

A visual represention of thecharacter's relationships.

10 Signs You're

in a Codependent Relationship

Contents

"Are You Okay?"

5

A poem about the pressures ofappearing okay

"Pressure and Life"

6

An Analysis of The Program'sDepcition of Depression

Glossary

10

Important words from TheProgram

This Is What DepressionReally Feels Like

Elise Jamison 16-year-old from Canfield, OhioMar 02, 2014

Abstract:

Jamison delves into the ideas that surround a teen’s love for exaggeration,focusing on the highs and lows of day to day life. She discusses the idea ofdepression and how that term get co-opted by most teens to describe thesimplest of misfortunes. Her point for the article is to explain what depressiontruly is, and is not, in an attempt to educate her peer group on the realities ofclinical depression. To do this, she shares her own story, the definition ofdepression, and urges those reading her article to use the word depression asit is meant to be, not as an overly dramatic expression to express a moment ofunhappiness. At the end of the article, she gives the number and website for ahelp line, if indeed, the sadness is a long lasting emotion.

As teenagers, we love to exaggerate. Every good day is the best day ever. Everybad day was the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone, anywhere,ever. That girl in my third period totally cussed me out for like no reason atall. (Okay, she told me to stop talking so much, then rolled her eyes. hehe...)You guys get the point I’m sure. But as we become more educated as to whatmental illnesses are and who they impact, it seems like every teen with Twitterhas a PhD in psych.

The second we have too much caffeine before school and can’t focus in calc,we totes have ADHD. Oh, your friend doesn’t like when her room is messy?Oh my God, complete obsessive compulsive freak. God forbid we have a daywhere everything goes wrong. Clearly we are clinically depressed. Theseexaggerations may seem harmless but they are desensitizing us to, andsometimes even inadvertently making fun of, actual mental illnesses.

You may think you are just tweeting something in a moment of angst (we allhave them), but you could be hurting someone in the process. We need to getsome real info on this subject, and stop diagnosing ourselves and each other atthe drop of a hat. So let’s learn a little bit. I am going to talk about a disorder Ihave a lot of experience with. I have seen so many of my peers tweet abouthow depressed they are and they’re lives are so awful blah blah blah.

???

"There is a humongous differencebetween temporary sadness anddissatisfaction with your life, and thesinking desperation that is depression."

Yes. We all have bad days. I get it. Butdepression is defined as severedespondency and dejection, felt over aperiod of time and accompanied byfeelings of hopelessness andinadequacy.

There is a humongous differencebetween temporary sadness anddissatisfaction with your life, and thesinking desperation that is depression.It sucks when you don’t fit in and youare lonely, but that isn’t depression.Depression is the dark emptiness youfeel that makes you believe you cancontribute nothing to anyone oranything. You feel like your life meansnothing to anyone. My inspiration forthis article was frustration.

I was diagnosed at age 14 withdepression, and I am so frustrated withall of the people around me whocannot differentiate between angst,PMS and mental illness.

I have worked so hard in the lastcouple years to overcome this illnessand it is still a daily battle. It took meyears to even be able to acknowledgethat I mattered and realize that peoplecared about me.

There is nothing more frustrating thansomeone who says they are clinicallydepressed because they are feeling sadthat day.

???

It devalues the struggle I and so manyothers have endured. And to all of theincredibly ignorant people out therewho think just because someone has anice family, cushy home and prettybelongings does not mean they can’t bedepressed — they lack the chemicalserotonin in their brain. It has nothingto do with the fact that they wearFerragamos or Target flip-flops.

Essentially, my point is that we need torealize the severity of this and manyother mental disorders. They really dohurt people, so I implore you to stoptreating them so casually.Furthermore, if you recognize yourselfin this article, seek help.

If bad days turn into weeks, which turninto months, tell someone. But don’tfreak out over one daily mishap.

????

Which characterfrom The Program

are you?

Find out with a few questions

and a quick tally of your score!

That is,if youhaven�tbeenerasedeither�

1

You are facing something you fear, howdo you react? A. Cry. B. Put up a brave face but feel terrified. C. Work with the fear. D. Fight back.

2. You have just walked into a party, what is the firstthing you do? A. Find someone to introduce you. B. Walk right up and say hi. C. Flirt from across the room D. Say nothing.

3. Your parents are forbidding you from seeing yourcrush, what do you tell them to convince them it’sokay? A. Beg and plead. B. Nothing, they don’t have to know. C. Parents? D. Rational evidence.

4. A super creepy guy/girl has been eyeing you for afew weeks, how do you handle the situation? A. Try to avoid them. B. Say nothing. Just your imagination, right? C. Tell on them. D. Confront them.

5. Someone is threatening the someone you love, howdo you deal with them? A. Tell someone. B. Never let the loved one be alone. C. Punch him/her in the face. D. Run away with a loved one.

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6. You haven’t seen a your significantother for several weeks, and you’re notsure that you’re still together, what doyou do when they return? A. Go see them first possible moment.B. Wait, hoping the come to you. C. Give up on them. D. Leave notes.

7. You are away from your significantother and you’re feeling lonely. Thereis a person who clearly likes you, whatdo you do? A. Allow them to comfort you, but maintain you’re in a relationship. B. Ew, attachments. C. Nope. Go for it! You’re broken up, right? D. Push them away, you don’t need them.

8. You can protect someone you careabout, but you have to lie to them to doit. Which do you choose? A. Be honest, at least then you aren’t the one being dishonest. B. Tell them the whole truth up front. Lying isn’t your thing. C. Direct them away from the danger with the smallest lies possible. D. Do whatever is necessary. They will forgive you.

9. There’s a big mystery surroundingyou, that you are curious about, butcould get you in trouble, how do youdeal with your curiosity? A. Sneak around for answers. B. Bribe people. C. Work the system for answers. D. Hit it head on, taking no prisoners.

Results!

Mostly A: Sloane Sloane cares deeply for her friends andfamily, despite frustration at her parents being evident with theiracceptance of The Program. Despite this emotional attachment,she is not the best at caring for herself. She rely heavily on othersfor strength, even while attempting to take care of herself.

Mostly B: Lacey Lacey plays her feelings close to her chest.Often misleading people when she does show her truethoughts.She is stronger than she appears, despite being the firstof the friends to fall to her depression and enter The Program.

Mostly C: Realm Realm is in love with Sloane, despite knowinghe should not be, as their relationship starts as an assignment.He wants to protect her from herself, quickly growing to love herand her broken mind. He does not deal with his parents,being….. Saving the rest...

Mostly D: James James was the protector of the group, therock for everyone to lean on. He hides his own emotions well,believing that breaking down and feeling will make mattersworse. He blows hot and cold towards Sloane at the beginning oftheir relationship, not wanting to like her. James’ protectivenature can lead him directly into trouble.

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Parental pressure maycause

more harm than good

AbstractKates dives into themodern concept ofparental pressures ontheir children, and howthose pressures arestarting younger andyounger. He discusseshow when a child’s self-identity and self-esteemis contingent on solelythe success in anycertain activity, be itacademic, fine arts, orsport, they do not have adesire to learn via takingrisks because failure,and thus a loss of self,becomes too intimating.Undue pressure fromparents can also lead toa heightened rate ofanxiety and depression.Kates goes on further toargue that when aparent is so hyperfocused on the area ofsuccess their overallrelationship with theirchild plummets due tostrain on therelationship anddiffering views of whateach wants out of thefuture. He ends withquestioning whatparents truly want fortheir child, a success onpaper, or a roundedhuman who can standup to life’s challenges.

R

Recently, my wife and I took ourdaughter to her kindergartenorientation. We were amazed by howadvanced these four- and five-year-oldswere in their reading and writing skills:I’m pretty sure we weren’t so far along

when we were in kindergarten. But the teachershrugged it off: “Oh, yeah, they all start early now.” Herparting recommendation was that we ensure ourdaughter knows how to write her name by the time shestarts school – a minor task, sure. But it was the firsttime we felt some need to apply the pressure. And,given that she hasn’t even begun her classes yet, Idoubt it will be the last. Don’t get me wrong: we valueour children’s education.

We want to equip them with the tools they need tosucceed, whether in school or in life. We already workhard to ensure that their home environment is full ofeducational resources and activities, whether throughbooks, toys, games or art supplies. We want them to beinquisitive, talented and well-rounded. But when doesencouragement cross the line into parental pressure?And how much of the latter is a good thing? It’s easy tosee how some pressure can be beneficial.

If it helps to keep your kids organized and on track intheir studies and extra-curriculars, that’s great. But it’simportant that that pressure does not come beforeother, more fundamental parenting responsibilities. “Ifa good foundation of support has been laid,” writes Dr.Paul Stricker for the American Academy of Pediatrics,“the house of self-esteem is sturdy and not easilyhuffed, puffed, and blown by windy big bad wolfpressures or shaken by stormy win-loss results.”

Parents need to instill in their kids a foundationalsense of self-worth. Without it, Stricker warns, kidswho face pressure to succeed risk becoming defined bythat activity and their ability to perform. “Adolescents

David Kates June 3, 2015

“If their identity becomes significantly associated with thesport or activity and they fail, however, their identity alsocan fail.”

who are struggling for identity amongtheir siblings or classmates may find aunique area of improvement andaccomplishment in an activity such asa certain sport, musical instrument, orartistic performance, which causestheir self-confidence to blossom,” hesays. We have to ask what we reallywant for our kids. Do we want them tobe happy? Do we want them to feelempowered, to have social lives andagency in their life decisions?

There are, then, significantconsequences to parents placing toomuch pressure on their kids and theexpectations placed on them are toohigh. One recent study out of Arizona

State University found that childrenwho faced relentless pressure fromtheir parents to succeed were twice aslikely to suffer from anxiety anddepression than their less-pressuredpeers.

Perhaps a broader issue is the fact thatwhen parents become so focused ontheir kids’ achievement, their overallrelationship suffers. “We can beoverinvolved in the wrong things, andunder involved in the right things,”writes parenting author MadelineLevine.

David Kates June 3, 2015

In other words, a parent might attendall their kids’ games or recitals, butthey’re not necessarily spending thequality time to get to know them –listening to them, joking with them, oreven just eating dinner together. Thesemight seem like small things, butthey’re not: our kids need to see thatwe love them for who they are, not justfor what they can do. Consideringthese negative impacts, we need to stepback and reflect upon some of usparents are pushing our kids so hard.It may be, in fact, for all the wrongreasons.

Perhaps we pressure them because weourselves feel pressured by otherparents. Or it’s because we want to livevicariously through our kids’achievements. Or it may simply be thatwe fear they’ll behind the crowd ifwe’re not constantly pushing them tokeep up.

Whatever the case may be, as we filltheir schedules with team practices,tutoring sessions, extra-curricularsand music lessons, we need to askourselves: are we doing it for them?

And ultimately, we have to ask whatwe really want for our kids. Do wewant them to be happy? Do we wantthem to feel empowered, to have sociallives and agency in their life decisions?Are we enabling them to find andpursue their passions? Just what is ouridea of success? And is it necessarilyone that is right for that child?

Most importantly, is pressuring themto perform in one area or another, inways that they may or may not trulycare to perform, the best way to helpthem achieve that success andhappiness? Because a lot of the time,for all of these parents’ best intentions,they may not be so helpful after all.

David Kates June 3, 2015

The Truth Behind The SuicideStatistic For Older Teen Girls

A

bstract: presents research on the decline of maternaldeaths for young women and the rise of suicidedeaths. She discusses the change ins statistics citingmultiple sources, among the most prominent beingthe World Health Organization (WHO). The inherentproblem with looking at suicide statistics,

she argues, is the stigma around admitting a loved one took their own life.Along with this cultural taboo, there is the fact that many of the stilldeveloping countries do not track births or causes of death closely. The articledefinitely focuses on female suicide rates, mentioning males only toacknowledge that female suicides outweigh males in her research. Nearing theend, they discuss the social economic levels and its correlations.

For years, Suzanne Petroni, senior director at the International Center forResearch on Women, would speak — backed by mountains of evidence shestudies — about the number one cause of death among women around theworld: maternal mortality. Then, in September, 2014, the World HealthOrganization released its report on "Health for the World's Adolescents: ASecond Chance in the Second Decade." "I read the report, and there was oneline tucked away," says Petroni. The line addressed females age 15 to 19. "Thenumber one cause of death had changed," she says. "It was suicide." Thatfinding made headlines around the world last month after it was cited at a Bill& Melinda Gates Foundation event. Petroni checked and rechecked, evenmade some phone calls to friends at WHO, and confirmed that it was true.

The number one cause of death around the world for older teen girls hadshifted from maternal mortality to "self-harm." Self-harm can refer to anyform of violence to oneself: cutting, drug overdosing. Some self-harm issurvivable. But when the term ends up in a column labeled "mortality" in aWHO report, it means suicide.

But curiously, the shift doesn't reflect a sudden increase in self-harm.

What it does reflect is a bit of good news: Maternal mortality has beendropping. The number of women dying from pregnancy and childbirthcomplications has dropped for women of all ages by almost 50 percentbetween 1990 and 2013, according to WHO. And in the age range of 15 to 19,the rate of death from maternal conditions fell from 15.74 per 100,000 in2000 to 9.72 in 2012.

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Rates of suicide have also beendropping in that same time period, butthe rate is still high enough to outpacematernal mortality among females 15to 19. The suicide rate in that agegroup fell from 15.85 per 100,000 in2000 to 11.73 per 100,000 in 2012.

It's also worth noting that suicide inthe 15-to-19 age range already hadpassed maternal deaths by the year2000 by fractions of percentage points.But the trend wasn't noticed until therelease of the 2014 report.

The suicide statistic is propelled byextraordinarily high rates in SoutheastAsia, a WHO-designated region that

includes Bangladesh, Bhutan,Democratic People's Republic ofKorea, India, Indonesia, Maldives,Myanmar, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Thailandand Timor-Leste. There, the rate ofdeath by suicide is 27.92 per every100,000 females between 15 and 19,more than twice the global rate in thatgroup.

"Those numbers make peoples' headsturn," says Petroni. "Clearly, SoutheastAsia is the predominant driver." Therate there is about five times higherthan in Europe or the Americas.

Numbers on suicide are not easy tocompile. WHO acknowledges gapingseek to cover up suicide as a cause of

"But the organization stands by the data as anaccurate representation of suicide."

death. But the organization stands bythe data as an accurate representationof suicide. Each year, WHO asks its194 member nations to report oncauses of death for their population.Not every country can comply. "Wecan say that there are 90 countrieswho report on an annual basis onsuicide," says Alexandra Fleischmann,a project coordinator for WHO's"Preventing Suicide" report, based onthe same statistics used in theorganization's adolescent report. Ofthose, 60 countries are deemed byWHO to have good quality vitalstatistics on suicide, and 28 countrieshave a national strategy for suicideprevention.

But some countries don't evenofficially register births and deaths. Inthose cases, WHO relies on country or

regional surveys and other publisheddata, and extrapolates to a nationallevel. "Suicide is still a taboo issue, andyes, there is some underreporting,Withthose caveats in mind, Petroni says thestatistics on suicide among older teengirls ring true. "In South and East Asia,there are very stark gender differencesin expectations," she says. "You seegirls excluded from education, forcedinto marriage, being victims ofviolence, abuse, trauma, socialisolation.

Those risk factors are higher for girlsin many parts of the world, puttingthem at higher risk for suicide."Indeed, one study of Nepali girls andyoung women found suicide theleading cause of death in womenbetween 15 and 34. The suicide ratewas 22 per 100,000 in 1998; it rose to

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28 per 100,000 by 2009.

Those most vulnerable, according tothe study, were socially isolated, poor,rural women. They often marry youngand are victims of domestic abuse.Wives are often considered theirhusbands' property and "becometrapped in a perennial cycle ofdependence which may lead some toview suicide as their only option," thestudy says.

The recent earthquakes could wellincrease suicides in Nepal.Displacement, in this case due to anatural disaster, increases suicide ratesfor men and women of all ages,according to the study.

The overall rate of suicide among girlsand young women has fallensomewhat in the years studied byWHO. In 2000, the worldwide ratewas 15.85 per 100,000; it fell to 11.73per 100,000 in 2012, though itremains the leading cause of death infemales 15 to 19.

The report doesn't explain the drop,but efforts by a few countries offersome clues.

"China is just one major example. Ithas brought down youth suicide rates,especially in women in the past tenyears, through a range ofinterventions," says Vikram Patel,professor of International MentalHealth at the London School ofHygiene and Tropical Medicine. "Bothsocial interventions, such as improvingemployment opportunities in ruralareas, and improving mental healthcare."

India, too, has made changes afternoticing that some young people,under great stress to do well in school,resorted to suicide if they felt they didpoorly. "In South India, they observedhigher suicide rates after exam periodsamong schoolchildren who failed,"says Fleischmann. "Then theyintroduced the possibility of redoingthe exams, and that reduced thesuicide." That information wasreported to WHO from a collaboratingcenter in India.

And there are proven preventiveefforts that can help reduce suicidearound the world. "Irrespective of thevariations between nations, there areuniversal strategies which will work inall societies, such as means restrictionand improving access to mental healthcare for young people," says Patel. By"means restriction" he is referring toreducing access to the methods ofsuicide.

In high-income countries, hanging isthe leading method of suicide,accounting for half of suicide deaths,followed by 18 percent due to firearms(led by the Americas, where firearms

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account for 46 percent of suicides.) Inlow- and middle-income countries,methods are less clear, though WHOestimates that about 30 percent ofglobal suicides are due to pesticidepoisoning, mostly among men andwomen of all ages in poor, rural areas.

But it's easier to restrict access topesticides than to address the culturaland societal issues cited as risk factorsfor suicide: young girls being forced tomarry or seeing educationalopportunities closed to them, forexample.

"Changing a society, and how equal ornot equal it is, is more difficult thanchanging, say, the harmful use ofpesticides," says Fleischmann."Fighting poverty, fighting for equality— certainly that plays an important

role. That, however, takes more time."

It will also take time to tease outadditional information about self-harm. In a report whose scope is thecause of death for every adolescent onearth, there are findings buried deepwithin the data.

"Actually, in the suicide preventionreport," says Fleischmann of WHO,"among the key messages was that[self-harm] was the second leadingcause of death for both sexes. Thismight be even a stronger point."

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10 Signs You're In ACodependent Relationship

A

bstract: Jennifer discusses how codependentrelationships can stint personal growth and growth asa couple. To do this, she cites her own experiencewith a codependent relationship, admitting she wasnot even aware she was in one until the relationshipfell apart. According to her, there are several different

aspects to a codependent relationship, the most important being the commonfear of being alone and the longing for any kind of love that fear creates. Shealso argues that codependency is the largest hurtle couples face inrelationships, losing themselves to the “couple” instead of staying their ownpart of a whole. To finish off the articles, she dives into “ten common ways toidentify” a codependent relationship along with a short explanation as to whatexactly she means and inspiration to change so that the relationship canbecome more symbiotic than parasitic.

If there's one area of our lives that we tend to care most about, relationshipsmight be it. In Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love, she describes her friend, apsychologist, who is asked to offer counseling to Cambodian refugees.Daunted by the task of helping people who have suffered such harrowingjourneys, she discovers all they wanted to talk about were their relationships.Relationships bring us our greatest joys and our greatest challenges. From aspiritual perspective, relationships are assignments for the purpose of growthopportunities. It is in the context of a relationship with another individualwhere we see the places in which we need to heal, based on our triggers,blocks and patterns. Codependency is arguably one of the biggest challengesmost of us face in relationships — that feeling that we can't exist without theother person, that their existence and validation is required for us to feelhappy, even complete. Codependency blocks us from accessing our best selves,and also blocks the potential for further growth in the relationship.

Strangely, most of us don't even know we're enacting codependent patterns inour relationships. Why? Because we've been taught to believe certain mythsabout how relationships work, especially romantic relationships. Many ofthese myths foster codependency. I was living in codependent relationshipsfor two decades and didn't even know it. When I hit a rock-bottom in abreakup a few years ago, it was all revealed to me; my fears came rushing inand my patterns rose to the surface for me to finally see them clearly. My fearsof being alone, my deep longing for the love and attention outside of me, thefact that I had placed my power in another person making them the source of

Jennifer 15, 2015

my love and happiness, all came intomy awareness and there was noturning back. I was finally ready to dothings differently. Knowing there mustbe a better way, I stepped onto myspiritual path and experienced aradical transformation from the insideout, beginning with the relationshipwith myself. First step was awareness— recognizing the ways in which I hadbeen living in codependentrelationships and letting fear run theshow, which was not love. A lot of thetime codependency looks like intenselove, but "needing" another personoften stems from fear, not love.

Here are ten common ways to identifyif you're in a codependent relationship(and might not even know it):

1. You can't live without the otherperson. I know, this is supposed to beromantic, but it's not, it's attachmentwhich is different from connection. It'snot sexy and it's not fulfilling. Recognize your wholeness andcompleteness so that you can trulyenjoy the other person in your liferather than being half of a person whois incomplete without someone else;you are the cake — everything else isthe icing.

“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, si dici consectetuer adipisci elit integre.”

2. The other person must behavein a certain way. In order for you to feel loved or for youto love them, the other person must bewho we need them to be. This isconditional love (as opposed tounconditional love), which doesn'tallow the other person to be who theyreally are: in other words, yourhappiness is dependent on them beinghow you want them to be.

3. You blame others for how youfeel. We are actually responsible for how wefeel and it's not someone else'sresponsibility to make us happy. Wemake ourselves happy first so thatothers can make us happy.

4. You play caregiver. A healthy relationship is between twoadults, not two children or one childand one parent. When we aremothering or taking care of someonewho is not taking care of themselves,it's disempowering for both people.When we spiritually grow up, we learnhow to take care of ourselves sosomeone else doesn't have to do it forus and we can live in our highest truth,not as a child or a victim or helpless.We are all capable. 5. You're controlling outcomesand situations. When we are controlling the otherperson or how things are unfolding, weare living in fear not in love. Surrenderthe relationship, surrender the otherperson's process and what theirchoices are and trust that everythingwill unfold perfectly when allowed.

Jennifer 15, 2015

6. You give from a place of lack. We might be putting ourselves last andfocusing on the other person morethan we do ourselves and we loseourselves in the relationship. Thispattern comes from a lack of self-loveand when we try to give from an emptywell, anger and resentment can buildbecause we are not filling ourselves up

first and giving from a place ofabundance

7. You think your happiness ispredicated on the other person. It's not. Our happiness is within andwhen we stop searching for it in ourpartner, and instead connect withourselves in a daily practice, weconnect to our true source within andthat happiness can overflow to theother person, rather than making themour only source.

8. You don't feel free. Love is freedom. Rules andconstrictions are fear. We must dowhat we want to do, not what otherpeople want us to do.

9. You're waiting to be saved. No, this isn't a conscious choice andyes, it's rampant in our collectivepsyche. Save yourself. Be your ownknight in shining armor, the heroine ofyour own story and then he can beexactly who he needs to be, without

"Be your own knight in shining armor, theheroine of your own story"

having to rescue you.

10. You think you need to get thelove you want. Giving love is more important thangetting love. You have an unlimitedsource within you. It will come back toyou tenfold.

Jennifer 15, 2015

"Are You Okay?"

"

Are you okay?”

The words ring,Echoing though the morning air,Reverberating through the hall.

I nod, Offering a smile that only curls one side of my lips,Hoping it is enough to stop the next question of,“What’s wrong?”

It’s not.You ask the words,A small forward,And slightly to the right,Tilt of your head.

Your eyes tell me I will not be able brush this off,With merely a slightly more convincing smile,And a small shrug of the shoulders.So, I lie.And, sometimes it scared me how easily these lies come.

“I’m tired.”“I’m thinking.”“I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Anything that will appease your good intentions.Because, I’m not okay.

But, I can’t say that.

I can’t tell you I’m sad.I can’t tell you I want to disappear.I can’t tell you I want it all to stop,Because you will still ask,“What’s wrong?”

Abigail C. Cochrane

And I won’t be able to give you ananswer.“I don’t know,”Is not acceptable,Even my students know that,But it’s the only one I have.

Even as I lean against my door,Cheek cooled by the fake wood,Even as I hug my arms to myself in aneffort to stay warm,I don’t know.

I don’t know how, Or what,Or why.

All I do know is that I’m not okay.

I am sad. I do want to disappear. And I do want it all to stop, But I couldn’t even tell you what “it” iseither.

So, Tomorrow morning, When you ask if I’m okay,I’m going to lie,

Not because I don’t trust your help,But because I don’t want you to feel ashelpless as I do.

Abigail C. Cochrane

Pressure and Life: AnAnalysis of The Program'sDepiction of Depression

D

epression presents a serious topic for discussion thatno one wants to bring up, unless it is a joking manner.The Program by Suzanne Young dives into the darkside of how deeply and irrevocably depression canchoke a human’s soul. Through fictionalizing thehorrors of this mental disorder,

Young creates a safe place for her teen-aged readers to explore the warningsigns of depression as well as one of its ultimate consequence, suicide. In theworld she creates, suicide has become an epidemic, and depression acommunicable disease, with The Program, where infected memories aredeleted, being the only solution. The Program skillfully demonstratesthemany ways depression, and the fact that it is a taboo subject to openly discuss,affects teens and their mental abilityto face the pressures of their world. The novel centers around Sloane Barstow, a seventeen year old who lost herbrother, Brady, to the suicide epidemic several years prior to the start of thebook. Through Sloane, Young illustrates how depression-induced suicidealters the mindset of those left behind. Brady’s loss sent her family into adownward spiral that only placed more strain on an already struggling family.It is also this pain of losing a child that prompted Sloane’s mother to call TheProgram on her daughter “in the first place” (Young, 353). Even her fatheropenly admits that he is willing to “call The Program” if it will ensure thatSloane “doesn’t die” (Young, 105). The responsibility of keeping anotherhuman happy while personally drowning with “no way… [to] hide … [the]despair” is overwhelming. She does not feel like she can discuss her painbecause of the pressures of being healthy placed on her by society as a whole,and most importantly, her parents. David Kates explores this idea of parentalpressure in his article “Parental Pressure may cause more Harm than Good”,when he details how it is “important that [it] … does not come before other,more fundamental parenting responsibilities” like always being thereemotionally for the child no matter what the topic or cause (Kates, 1). It isobvious through The Program that Sloane, and the rest of her peers, do notfeel this unconditional support and acceptance, adding just another layer totheir already thick and confusing emotions.The fear of The Program has taught the children and teens in the world Youngcreates to hide all emotions except the happy ones, not how to deal with grief,pain, stress, and loss. This adds to the stigma around depression so heavilythat what is normally only a taboo subject has been turned into a sort of deathsentence. While it is clear that the teens of The Program take depression very

Abigail C. Cochrane

"In her article, “This is What Depression Really FeelsLike”, Jennifer explores how today’s teens tend to over-

simplify depression"

they also do not feel they can speak toanyone about “the dark emptiness …that makes you believe you cancontribute nothing” that is depressiondue to the fact that most friends whoended up in The Program were placedthere by parents (Jennifer,1). In herarticle, “This is What DepressionReally Feels Like”, Jennifer exploreshow today’s teens tend to over-simplifydepression, “desensitizing” themselvesto what the mental illness actually is by“diagnosing … [themselves] and eachother at the drop of a hat” (Jennifer, 1).This idea of quick diagnosis is alsoseen in The Program but on the parentside of things. Just as those not goingthrough the sadness and anxiety ofdepression cannot completelyunderstand the thoughts of the person

is, the parents in the novel cannot seethat their savior, and hope for theirchild’s future, is“ killing” them in theeyes of those actually threatened byThe Program (Young, 97). Because ofthis great threat of The Program, theteens are not able to receive, or evenask for, help with their suicidalthoughts for fear of being “erase[d]”(Young, 203). The ideas that “suicide[and the depression that leads to it,] isstill a taboo issue” is prevalent in thereal world, creating a society in whichsuicide is “underreport[ed]” andoverlooked as a credible threat (Brink,1). The ever changing pressures ofemotions a teen must travel throughare difficult enough, adding thestressor that if the wrong emotion isshown it can get one “flagged”, leaving

Abigail C. Cochrane

little wonder that suicide is soprevalent in the world of The Program(Young, 49). Parents play a background role in TheProgram in terms of characters, buttheir influence is felt very heavilythrough the pressures they place ontheir children. Sloane was turned intoThe Program by her mother, and this“realization hit” her hard, even whileshe “know[s] [her] … mother loves”her (Young, 387). A parent’s fear fortheir child’s well being is a fact that allparents face as their child grows. InThe Program these fears are for theliteral life of the teen, while most of thefears faced in reality have to do withthe child’s happiness and later success.

Kates discusses this idea and how itbecomes a “broader issue” whenparental pressure on “achievement”overshadows the “overall relationship”between parent and child (Kates,1).Interestingly, he continues to point outthat while attending “games orrecitals” are powerful supports, it isnot “necessarily” the kind of “qualitytime” children need “to see that[parents] … love them for who theyare” instead of for “just what they cando” (Kates, 1). This idea of loving one’schild for their abilities instead of theirhumanity is seen in The Programthrough the lens of how the parents ofthe suicidal teens are willing to literallybreak the teens down to build them

"Parents do this today with huge amounts of pressure placedon grades and monetary success rather than the actual life of

the child, however the pressure still mounts."

into new humans, as long as it meansthey will live. Parents do this todaywith huge amounts of pressure placedon grades and monetary success ratherthan the actual life of the child,however the pressure still mounts. Thespirit of the child can be broken andchanged extraordinarily easily oncethey notice that a parent’s pride inthem is contingent on their academicsuccess as teens. Sloane’s mother’sdesire to keep her daughter alive onlyserves to alienate Slone from hermother, creating a rift in therelationship that adds to the problemsthey are both facing. Sloane’s attempts at staying alive forher family and friends is not anuncommon theme among thedepressed and subsequently suicidal.Even her ideas about how she has let“everyone … down” echos real life

(Young, 101). Solane and James’srelationship is incredibly codependent;while in one sense, this isunderstandable, as they are workingtogether to keep each other alive, inanother, it is detrimental to theirmental health. James is constantlypromising not to “let anything happen”her, or himself, but in the end this is apromise he cannot keep as they “did leteach other down” when they were bothsent to The Program (Young, 20 &387). Such a dependent relationshipcan be seen as symbiotic, but whenmost of the pressure is on one person,it becomes toxic to both participants.Jeniffer details multiple ways arelation can be categorized ascodependent, beginning with the ideathat it is supposedly “romantic”(Jennifer, 1). Going on to say that “it’snot sexy and it’s not fulfilling” and that

Abigail C. Cochrane

one should “recognize [their]...wholeness and completeness” withoutanother human being, she leaves nodoubt in her message (Jennifer, 1).Sloane is not able to deal with thepressures of her world and theemotions it creates on her own. She isconstantly either relying on James totake care of her and make everything“okay” or Realm to be there as a“lifeline” (Young, 37 & 198). Nearingthe end of the book, Sloane states she“want[s] to figure out how to take careof” herself, but her codependentrelationships have had a majorinfluence on her character, thusmaking it difficult for her to breakfrom the supports she has expected tobe there in one form or another(Young,251). Despite not having Jamesand Realm as close as there earlier inthe book, she is still rather dependenton them, getting upset at James whenhe does act how she wants, and usingRealm for closeness, even when sheknows she does not love him. As muchas she may want to, she is notequipped to face the pressures of the

world without ample supports that sheis not always able to reciprocate. There is no argument that teens, bothin The Program and the real word,experience immense pressures andhigh strung emotions. This is a naturalpart of growing up and learning whothey want to be as adults. Suchcrushing emotions, without the abilityto discuss them openly, can fester intothe dark thoughts that preempt truedepression. Young uses her novel toimpress this idea of forced silence, andthe danger it poses to teens upon thereader. Depression cannot be ignored,written off as teen angst, or simplyaccepted as word used to describe arough day, if society is ever going tomove past the shadows that lurkwithin it as a topic so open discussioncan flourish. The only way to ease thepressures of living is to support oneanother without judgment orhesitation. Young’s novel is admirablein giving a platform to use as aconversation starter, but this does littlegood if the taboo of depression andsuicide is so strong that no one iswilling to take responsibility and openthe discussion in the first place.

Abigail C. Cochrane