The Princess and the PeaBy: Heather Robbins

Once upon a time there was a prince, and he wanted a real princess to… Wait a minute, who wrote this? This isn’t a true story at all. If you want to know the truth then I must say, you are in for a real shocker. Here goes…

Once upon a time, there was the prince of Butler University. He wasn’t just any old prince though, he was the most desperate prince there was.

All he wanted was a wife,

he didn’t care if it was a princess

or not.

He traveled across Butler University looking for a wife;

but no girl would have him

due to his overbearing mother.

You see, this prince was a momma’s boy and she only wanted the best for her son.

After this long, hard journey he finally returned home to his dorm.

Did I mention he lived there with his mother?

One evening, there was a tornado that blew through Indiana

and it was raining cats and dogs.

The next thing the prince knew, there was a knock on the door.

Standing on the other side of the door was a girl, but not just any girl, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was dressed in high heels, a miniskirt, and a shirt that barely covered her body.

Hey there

The only problem was, she was covered in fur from all the cats and dogs falling from the sky.

The girl told the prince that she was the homecoming queen,

even though she did not look much like one. The prince did not care, never the less, because he would take any girl at all, especially one so gorgeous.

The only problem standing between the prince and his homecoming queen was his overprotective mother, who did not believe the girl was the homecoming queen at all.

The mother decided that she would find out if the girl was telling the truth.

To test the girl she placed a can of peas under her mattress, thinking that only a real homecoming queen would not be able to feel a lump under her one mattress.

The girl tossed and turned all night

until she finally gave up and slept on the floor.

When asked in the morning why she did not sleep on the bed that was made up for her, she gave the mother a dirty look and told her, “That bed was so uncomfortable that there was no way I would ever sleep on that lumpy thing!”

Because of the attitude and ungratefulness that the girl showed the prince’s mother, she knew that the girl was telling the truth and was really a homecoming queen.

Since the girl was not scared of the prince’s mother, she asked the prince to marry her

and they ruled the school together.

Oh yeah, and the prince gained a spine and was no longer letting his mother rule his life, that was his new wife’s job.

Now that is the true story of the “Princess and the Pea”. Yeah yeah, I know it was a misleading name, but I didn’t name it… or did I?