The Oredigger Issue 05 - October 1, 2007

8/14/2019 The Oredigger Issue 05 - October 1, 2007

1/12

The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and EngineeringVolume 88, Issue 5 October 1, 2007

News - 2 Sports - 4 Features - 5 Fools Gold - 8 Editorials- 10

Inside The Oredigger

Sailing in the Right DirectionCSM President Evaluates Progress

We had the faculty and staffbreakfast on the Monday [before]

school started and I remindedpeople that I was entering mysophomore year as President, said

Colorado School of Mines Presi-dent Dr. Myles Bill Scoggins in an

interview last week. He continued,Weve gotten very comfortable

being here in Golden and beingat the Colorado School of Mines,

but like a lot of sophomores Imanxious now to get on with it.

Scoggins outlined some of the

upcoming challenges facing theschool; one of the things that

brought me here was being able tolook at the strategic plan that had

been produced. I said it was time forus to stop and do a re-calibration of

that plan. I didnt get that done lastyear and I think thats somethingwe need to get done this year.

The current Strategic Plan waswritten in 2004 under the supervision

of former President John U. Trefny.

With a horizon of ten years, the planoutlines seven crucial elements.The plans introduction states: With

rapidly escalating global demandsfor energy, technology, and natu-ral resources, Mines has both an

opportunity and a responsibilityto magnify its contribution to the

worldwide community by assertingits leadership position in areas of

expertise and reinforcing its longtradition of academic excellence.

Scoggins proled the nature ofupcoming changes to the Stra-

COURTESY MARSHA WILLIAMS / REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION

Congratulations: Colorado School of Mines President shares a laugh

with a recent graduate of the Guy T. McBride Jr. Honors Program.

Freshman Class

Statistics (Pg. 2)

Campus Diversity

Plan (Pg. 3)

Geek of the Week (Pg. 6)

SpamalotReview (Pg. 7)

Taser This!

Fools Gold (Pg. 9)

Duffys Corner (Pg. 10)

Whats Your Beef With

Mines? (Pg. 10)

tegic Plan, which includes an un-derstanding of the optimal size

of the institution and a realiza-tion of how to manage and grow

the schools research program.With a 10-year horizon, Scoggins

outlined some important points of in-

stitutional growth: signicant researchgrowth, expansion of infrastructure,

an increase in academic space, and

a transition to a residential universitywith the majority of students housedon campus. I really think a residen-

tial campus is a type of environmentthats best for Mines in the long term;itd help us attract more non-resi-

dents, women, underrepresentedminorities, and so on, he said.

In addition, revitalizing the cam-pus climate to be more inclusive and

inviting remains a top priority. Scog-gins added, I want the campus to

be more inclusive. I want the campusto participate more in campus-wide

events that maybe arent focused ontheir particular discipline area. Ourmission here is to educate people

that can go from School of Minesinto the world and make a difference;

that means theyve got to have greatcommunication skills, theyve got to

be able to work in teams, theyvegot to appreciate the world, the

diverse cultures, and so on and youjust dont get that in a classroom.

In the past year, Scoggins noted

that the schools nancial manage-ment has improved considerably:

From the administrative stand-point, getting our arms around the

finances and budget is a majorsuccess. He pointed out that the

school has made a transition to

a unified budget approach and

process, positioning people tomore ably look at the entirety of the

budget. For the rst time in severalyears, the operating budget is fullybalanced, Scoggins concluded.

As the school year progresses,Scoggins said that he hopes to

continue hearing from students ona regular basis. In considering how

best to provide feedback to CSMsadministration, he added, Theres

always letters to the newspaper andtheres always, everybody knows,the prez-ofce email address, but I

Zach Aman

Editor-in-Chief

think the most effective [method] for

me is through the student govern-ment. Associated with the student

government, you have Aprill Nelsonwho is Student Trustee on the Board.

As a sophomore administra-tor at Mines, Scoggins concluded,What I like about Mines students is

that, when I walk across the com-mons going to the Green Center,

they generally arent too shy aboutcoming up and introducing them-

selves and telling me whats goinggood and whats going not so good

I hope that atmosphere continues.

The Colorado School of Mines

Graduate Program has given birth

to a new graduate degree: Nu-

clear Science and Engineering.

The program is designed to be a

comprehensive degree program that

will train future nuclear engineering

professionals in todays world. One

of the largest selling points for thenuclear engineering degree at Mines

is that the focus of the program is

slightly different from that of other

schools. While others focus mostly

on reactor design and operations,

the program at CSM will focus on

the entire life cycle of nuclear tech-

nology, or from cradle to grave.

It is really an exciting program,

said Dr. Greife, an Associate Pro-

fessor in the Physics Department.

Dr. Greife observed that it was

especially an exciting feld due to

the growing concerns of energy in

current affairs. It is not too hard to

see why programs such as these

are appearingthe sum of all CO2

emissions from generating electric-

ity amounts to over 3 times that of

all automobiles. According to some

experts, nuclear energy is the only

viable large-scale energy source

that is carbon free. While it is well

know that nuclear energy also has

its drawbacks, the Nuclear Engi-

neering graduate program address-

es these concerns with required

courses dealing with the manage-

ment of radioactive materials.

Mines is offering a wide range

of options including PhD and MS

degrees, as well as Minor Pro-

grams and combined BS/MS

Degrees. The program is accept-

ing applications for admission for

those interested in applying. Visit

the Graduate School section of

Mines homepage and navigate

to the Nuclear Science and En-

gineering section for more details

on the degree, as well as require-

ments and application details.

The Nuclear Engineering Pro-

gram at Mines promises to be

road to an exciting and rewarding

career for those who are interested

in pursuing nuclear technology.

W h e n I r a n i a n p re s ide n t

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad began

his visit to attend the United

Nat ions Genera l Assembly

i n New York las t Monday ,

he was met with protesters

and d issen t ing Amer icans .

Ahmadinejad began his visit

with a controversial two-hour

speech to the s tuden ts a t

Columbia University, charg-

ing the United States with

promot ing te r ro r is t behav-

ior and criticizing the US as

hypocrites for attempting to

hinder Irans nuclear program.

We a re a peace- lov ing

nation We do not believe

in nuc lea r weapons . Pe r i -

od, said the president dur-

ing the Co lumbia speech .

President Ahmadinejad has

been known in the past to

Nuclear OptionRicky Walker

Staff Writer

openly deny the occurrence of

the Holocaust during World War

II and denounce the country of

Israel as a nation of ethnic dis-

crimination and usurpation.

The scheduled UN talks for

this week highlighted topics

ranging from human rights,

global climate change, and,

most notably, the suspicions

of some nations that Iran has

been work ing on c rea t ing

a nuc lear arsena l program.

In his speech to the other

delegates, Ahmadinejad fur-

ther expressed h is disda in

for the creation of the Israeli

state and his firm conviction

that the country of Iran will

not recognize Israel as a sepa-

rate nat ion, instead ca l l ing

it an illegal Zionist regime.

Ahmadinejad then went on

to cr i t ic ize the UN Secur ity

Council for its nuclear sanc-

tions on Iran, stressing that

the coun t ry had no in ten-

tions of creating dangerous

weapons w i th i ts u ran ium

enrichment program and that

i ts prog rams a re pe r fec t ly

lega l and sa fe . The Pres i -

dent also declared that the

International Atomic Energy

Agency would be monitoring

Irans nuclear energy progress.

How long should the people

of the world live with the night-

mare of nuclear, biological and

chemical weapons? reasoned

Ahmadinejad. While he did not

explicit ly crit ic ize the United

States or call it by name, Ah-

madinejad expressed his dis-

respect for US overseas poli cy.

Some [nations] seek to rule

the world relying on weapons

and threats, argued the Ira-

nian leader. In contrast, United

States President George W.

Bush spent h is t ime at the

podium addressing such is-

sues as literacy, poverty and

the fight for democracy in the

world. Surprisingly, Bush did

not mention the Iraq war in

his speech, and focused on

current human rights situa-

tions. However, the President

also denounced the cruelty

of the worlds dictators, cit-

ing North Korea, Syr ia and

Iran as examples of bruta l

g o v e rn m e n ta l l e a de rs h ip .

During his visit, Ahmadine-

jad expressed his interest in

paying respects for the Sep-

tember 11 th , 2001 t ragedy

by visiting ground zero. New

York police denied this request

early last week, asserting that

the president would not be

a l lowed anywhere near the

location. Aside from local re-

strictions, Ahmadinejad was

confined to a 25-mile radius

of Columbus Circle in Manhat-

tan under international law.

Iranian President Visits the WestEmily Trudell

Staff Writer

Met with Outrage at Columbia University in New York City


2/12

October 1, 2007

NewsPage 2

Emily Trudell, Staff Writer

VENEZUELA- After a con-

troversial visit to the United

States for a United Nations

meeting, Iranian President Mah-

moud Ahmadinejad traveled to

South America and met with

Venezuelan President Hugo

Chavez. The two leaders have

been allies in trade and demo-

cratic relations in recent years.

GREECE - After weeks ofcatastrophic res in August, envi-

ronmental protection ofcials from

WWF have announced that it will

take decades for the trees and

wildlife to recover from the res de-

struction. The res damaged over

400,000 acres in the Peloponnese

peninsula, and have also disrupted

and killed many rare species of

animals in the Grecian countryside.

DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC

OF THE CONGO - Since April,

over 170 people in the Demo-

cratic Republic of Congo have

died of hemorrhaging caused

by the Ebola virus. This has

been the rst magor resurgence

of the disease since 1995,

and an estimated 400 have

fallen ill with similar symptoms.

CHINA- Recent soil erosion,

landslides and water pollution at

the site of the Three Gorges Dam

in China have triggered the potential

for an environmental catastrophe

near the Dam. The Three Gorgesproject was begun in 1993 in or-

der to generate electricity from the

Yangtze river. The dam is sched-

uled to be completed in 2008.

INDONESIA - Nine Austra-

lian youths remain in a Bali jail

and are awaiting execution by

ring squad after attempting

to smuggle eight kilograms

of heroin out of the country in

2005. All appeals on the death

sentences have been rejected

by judges. The boys, between

the ages of 20 and 30, have

pleaded for their lives in the

hope that their confessions will

motivate a less severe penalty.

The week was full of various phys-

ics-related events, aimed at attracting

students to the Physics Department.

Freshman, who are required to

attend events from two of the various

departmental discipline weeks for their

CSM101 classes, were of particular

recruitment interest to the department.

Included in the weeks activities were

a bowling night at Golden Bowl,

co-hosted by the Physics Depart-

ment and the Society of Physics

Students (SPS), presenta-

tions for interested students

outside of Slate Caf, and

two open-house tours of

Mines physics facilities.

The presentations

outside of Slate

Caf occurred

every day last

week. Physics

Wonderful World of Physicsstudents and faculty demonstrated

various physics devices which dem-

onstrated audio and optic principles,

among others. Apart from that, the

physics curriculum at Mines was dis-

cussed and opportunities after gradu-

a t ion (such as graduate school and

work at technical and

engineering firms)

were present-

ed to those

interested.

T h eo p e n

house

Department Hosts Information and Activity WeekJake Rezac

Staff Writerand tour included a brief presentation

about many of the same things ad-

dressed by the presentations outside

of Slate Caf and was followed by a

tour of the physics department. Stops

included the General Research Lab as

well as labs and ofces in Meyer Hall.

Much of CSMs cutting-edge research

equipment was presented by physics

students and faculty; the reasons for

being an Engineering Physics major

at Mines were excitedly discussed.

According to SPS President RyanVeirs, the physics discipline week was

a second chance to get students

interested in physics and SPS after

Celebration of Mines. The bowling

night at Golden Bowl, in particular,

was a good way to show kids what

SPS is about a lot of freshmen arent

around Meyer [Hall], so theres hardly

any way to communicate [to them].

Freshman Abe Wareld was pres-

ent at many of the weeks physics

events. Undecided as to what he

wants to study, he came to explore

what is to be offered by the depart-

ments. Wareld said about the

physics discipline week, [it is] help-

ing me get to know the type of

people doing these majors. Fel-

low freshman, Sarah Hinnegan,who is also looking through

her options, said that the

bowling night showed that

the department cares

enough to let people

hang out and enjoy

themselves.

JAKE REZAC / OREDIGGER

Declared Majors forUndergraduate Students

Undeclared 272

Mechanical Engineering 129

Chemical Engineering 113

Petroleum Engineering 74

Civil Engineering 62

Electrical Engineering 53

Physical Engineering 47

Computer Science 37

Chemistry 15

Geological Engineering 12

Geophysical Engineering 12

Environmental Engineering 12

Metallurgy 12

Economics and Buisness 6

Mining Engineering 6

Math 4

New Undergraduates 866

Applications Received 6063

Applications Accepted 3692

% Acceptance Rate 61%

Average GPA 3.7

Average SAT Score 1250

Average ACT Score 29

Number of Ethnic/Racial Minority 113

Freshm

anClassStatistics


3/12

Page 3

Campus Diversity planOctober 1, 2007

Mission

To meet national and regional demands for engineer-

ing talent for the foreseeable future, Colorado School

of Mines will become a signicantly diversied STEM

institution, continuing to deliver a highly competitive

education and conduct world-renowned research on

a welcoming and embracing campus comprised of a

broader spectrum of stu-

dents, faculty, and staff.

Vision

Given shifts in the en-

gineering workforce and

global marketplace, the

engineer of the future must be culturally uent, socially

adaptable, technically sophisticated, and perennially

revising her/his competencies. To prepare graduates

for the global economy, Colorado School of Mines

must adapt its campus climate, expand its educational

opportunities, and broaden the prole of the students,

faculty, and staff who make up our campus community.

Guiding Principles

Colorado School of Mines must continue to recruit

highly qualied students, faculty, and staff, maintain

rigorous expectations, and retain, graduate, and employ

persons with signicant expertise in their areas of edu-

cation and responsibility. The campus community must

be a place that welcomes and fosters a broad range of

personal and cultural identity, belief, and practice, even

as it encourages academic and professional excellence.

Diversity Defned

At Colorado School of Mines, the principal of diversity

is dened as an openness to and tolerance for differences

of thought, opinion, and practice held by members of its

campus community. President Myles W. Bill Scoggins

has called for a change in the campus culture to make

it more welcoming, comfortable, and safe for anyone

who participates in the life of CSM. Stakeholders include

students, faculty, staff, alumni, industry employers,

the Board of Trustees, and the residents of Colorado.

Practically, who enrolls and seeks employment at

our institution is a factor in how campus community

members perceive their experience at the institution.

Historically, engineering has enrolled and employed

few women and minorities, and CSM is no exception.

CSM seeks to broaden its representation among women

and minoritiesAfrican Americans, Asian Americans,

Latinos/Latinas, and Native Americansand be sen-

sitive to and inclusive of age, ability, rst-generation

to college and socio-economic status, geography,

sexuality, nationality religion, and first languages.

Why Does Diversity Matter?

Quality of LifeA more diversied CSM will mean a more exible, toler-

ant, sustainable institution that maintains high standards

and expectations, while including a broader capacity for

the human experience of students, faculty, and staff.

Mentoring, Role Modeling, and Critical MassThe relative absence of women in teaching and deci-

sion-making capacities at CSM is problematic because

of the mentoring and role-model functions faculty serve,

as well as being the transmitters (through teaching) and

originators (through research) of knowledge. If there are

few women within an institution, it becomes more difcult

to recruit and retain female students because students

perceive that the institution does not look like them.

The same applies for minority students. If ethnic

and racial minorities are absent from the ranks of

faculty and administration, their voices feature less

prominently or not at all in critical delivery of and deci-

sion making about institutional priorities. Additionally,

if the institution is not culturally open and comfortable

to students of different identities and beliefs, they may

not choose to stay; instead, they may opt to transfer

to an educational environment that is more inclusive.

Institutional VitalityFailure to act strategically and immediately regarding

diversifying CSM will impair the institutions capacity

for future success. As internal research conducted

among potential students in Spring of 2007 indicated,

those who opt not to go to CSM are making highly

competitive decisionsto attend Stanford and UC

Berkley, among othersbased on academic options

and nancial resources offered by those universities. Be-

cause these institutions are aggressive and rigorous

and already focused on diversifyingCSM stands to

lose if it does not act now.

Diversifying for Excel-

lence This effort will require

developing sensitivity to the

needs of new populations,as well as the capacity to

meet those needs, even as we maintain high standards

and programs and a safe and comfortable transi-

tion for current members of our campus community.

Goals and measurable outcomes are essential to

success; however, numbers alone are not the answer.

Because this initiative is focused on quality, change

requires more than simply shifting percentages to

declare the job nished. Institutional change of CSMs

climate and culture will be essential to diversity success.

Where are we?

StudentsIt is no secret that CSM has a low enrollment of women

and racial and ethnic minorities, as do STEM disciplines

across the United States (although some institutionshave much higher representation of Asian Americans

than does CSM). CSMs enrollment percentages have

remained fairly static for a number of years, despite

numeric increases. Additionally, the majority of CSMs

student population is from the Denver metropolitan area.

Enrollment of women has ranged from 25.9

percent in Fall 2002 to 22.5 percent in Fall 2006.

Enrollment of all minority students at CSM has ranged

from 12.2 percent in Fall 2002 to 12.6 percent in Fall 2006

Between 2003 and 2006, more that 60 per-

cent of all CSM students arr ived on campus

from roughly a 75 mile radius from 1500 Illinois.

However, aggregated percentages do not really

capture the experience of the people on our campus.

In Fall 2006, four CSM academic departments

enrolled no African American undergraduate students.

I n F a l l 2 0 0 6 , s e v e n C S M a c a d e m -i c d e p a r tme n t s e n r o l l e d f e w e r t h a n t e n

As ian Amer ican unde rg radua te s tuden ts .

In Fall 2006, CSM enrolled a total of eight

Native American women in engineering majors;

none of them were juniors, only one, a senior.

Among graduate students in Fall of 2006, CSM had

neither an African American nor a Native American wom-

an enrolled out of a total 196 female graduate students.

Numbers such as these suggest the potential for

isolation and loneliness for women and minority stu-

dents. Furthermore, given the structure of laboratories

and research projects, opportunities for mentoring,

collaborative work, and learning from more senior

role models are sharply curtailed, if they exist at all.

Faculty

The CSM faculty does not look that much different thanSTEM faculty across the U.S. Some institutions report

higher percentages of international faculty; a few STEM

programs report higher numbers of female faculty. Under-

represented minorities are scarce among STEM university

faculty. By and large, STEM faculty are white and male.

This is not simply a pipeline problem; it is a climate

problem for STEM elds in higher education. In fact,

the numbers of women and underrepresented minori-

ties graduating with advanced degrees in science and

engineering have steadily increased for two decades.

However, academia has been an unattractive career op-

tion for women and underrepresented minority Ph.D.s.

Furthermore, women and underrepresented minori-

ties tend to be clustered in the lower academic ranks,

among assistant and associate professors. Nationwide,

the fastest growth in teaching ranks is among alterna-

tive appointments, non-tenure track faculty; women

make up the majority of these ranks. Women in these

positions earn less and have less career stability than do

white men. Underrepresented minority faculty have lowerrates of tenure and job satisfaction than do white men.

Women and underrepresented minorities who

remain past tenure become highly sought after, and

universities frequently pirate competitors stars.

CSM cannot solve alone what is a systemic prob-

lem; however, focused attention and redirected re-

sources, along with attention to climate and culture

will be measurable strategies to shift the status quo.

Where Do We Go from Here?Recognizing the complexity of diversity within an

institution, it is important for CSM to develop strate-

gies that are based in present circumstances and

address current needs. To do so, decision mak-

ers need data and clear understanding of now to

be able to make institutional change for tomorrow.

Thus, President Scoggins sets the follow-ing priorities and timelines for diversifying CSM.

Climate Survey To drive change for the future, CSM will launch

a faculty/staff climate survey during AY 2007-2008.

Knowledge about current circumstances for fac-

ulty and staff is necessary to understand what we

need to do better to make CSM a highly desirable

employment opportunity, both for our existing com-

munity and for those we hope to recruit and retain.

The survey will be developed by an external rm

experienced in collecting qualitative data regarding

workplace and environmental issues. Topics about

which the Climate Survey will gather data include

H a v e a l l u n i t s i m p l e m e n t e d f a m -

i l y - f r i e n d l y s c h e d u l i n g c o n s i s t e n t l y ?

Do all employees feel they have access to ap-propriate redress to workplace concerns/complaints?

W h a t a r e c r i t i c a l w o r k / l i f e b a l -

ance concerns for CSM facu l ty and s ta f f?

How can CSM adapt to be a more tol-

e r a n t , n u r t u r i n g w o r k e n v i r o n m e n t ?

The results will be disseminated to the campus

community and will drive decision-making about

how to improve the quality of work-life at CSM.

By better understanding the quality of workplace

experiences and needs of CSMs present faculty and

staff, we will be able to address issues of attractive-

ness and retention. If CSM is a highly desirable em -

ployment option for highly qualied faculty and staff,

recruitment becomes easier; retention naturally follows.

Research into Best Practices

Because other institutions of higher educationhave focused resources and attention into diversify-

ing for as long as three decades, a body of literature

has emerged on successful practices for diversifying

universities. During AY 2007-2008, the Presidents

Diversity Initiative will conduct research into best

practices across higher education, concentrating on

peer institutions, to the best possible degree. A report

of ndings and recommendations for best practices

in higher education to foster and nurture a diverse

climate appropriate to CSMs needs and future goals

will be delivered to the CSM community in Fall 2008.

Institutional Diversity

Leadership CouncilPresident Scoggins has called for the develop-

ment of a Institutional Diversity Leadership Council

composed of decision makers from across CSM.During AY 2007-2008, the IDLC will meet for a fa -

cilitated two-day session, which will include training,

priority setting, and development of strategies for dis-

semination and implementation across the campus.

In collaboration with the Presidents Diversity Commit-

tee, this council will be charged with developing measur-

able goals and action items to serve as the foundation

for institutional objectives for diversifying CSM. The nal

outcome from the IDLC will be to develop a game plan for

CSM and strategies for implementing it at the unit level.

The engineer of the future must be

culturally fluent, socially adaptable,

technically sophisticated, and perenni-

ally revising her/his competencies.

Introduction from the Oredigger Editorials Board:

This plan was developed by Dr. Heidi Loshbaugh,

working directly under Colorado School of Mines

President Dr. Myles Bill Scoggins. It is a living docu-

ment and, as such, feedback from all members of the

CSM community has been requested. The Oredigger

will be accepting Letters to the Editor on this topic.

Readers may also attend ASCSM meetings and

e-mail campus administration to provide feedback.


4/12

Page 4

SportSOctober 1, 2007

If you havent been payingattention to the Rockies thisseason, here is what you missed:

The Rockies became the rst

team since the early 1960s tosweep both New York teams (in thiscase, the Yankees and the Mets) ina series in a single season. Theyalso won every series at CoorsField in a near 3 month span, start-ing in May and ending in August.

The Rockies had the best ERAin the NL from the All Star Breakto the end of August. This is inspite of the fact that the Rock-ies consistently are last in theleague in ERA. They are chasingthe record for team elding per-centage in a single season witha current .989 percentage (outof 1000 plays made, they havemade an average of 11 errors).

They have a strong contender

for National League Most ValuablePlayer in LF Matt Holliday and Rook-ie of the Year in SS Troy Tulowitzki.

The Rockies have also hadthe longest winning streak in theMLB this season with 11 straightwins. This also beats a franchiserecord of 9 straight wins set backin 1997. They also broke thefranchise mark for most wins ina season with 88 as of Saturday,with their previous record be-ing 83. But the most importantnumber in their repertoire is 1.

With the 4-3 win on Sundayagainst the Diamondbacks, theRockies are 1 game out of awildcard playoff spot. They alsohave lost 1 game in their past 14

games to put make a dramaticcomeback in the wild card race.

This team has united as one co-hesive unit to put together one ofthe greatest months in team his-tory. Their 11-1 win Saturday mayhave summed uptheir astoundingstretch the best.

S a t u r d a y sgame aga instt h e A r i z o n aDiamondbacksstarted with abang. P i tcherMark Redmanallowed a lonerun and struckout 6 batters in an impres-

s i v e 5 i n n i n g s p i t c h e d .Meanwhile, the Rockies gave

him support early, getting their rst

5 batters on base in the bottom ofthe rst inning and eventually scor-ing 4 runs while batting throughthe order. They never lookedback or let up after this inning.Rookie Troy Tulowitzki came upwith a few defensive gems fromshortstop and sealed the gamewith a grand slam in the 6th inning.Shortly after that, the backupscame in for both teams, signify-ing the Diamondbacks concedingdefeat. This was a dominating per-formance by the Rockies againstthe division leading D-Backs.

This is a huge turnaround

for the team. Just this past off-season, career Rockies pitcherJason Jennings was traded tothe Astros and the team acquireda speedy but unproven hitterWilly Taveras and rookie pitcherJason Hirsch. Taveras started atcentereld and hit leadoff for the

Rockies for most of this seasonwhile Hirsh showed a lot of prom-ise before becoming one of thethree starters the Rockies lost.

The 2007-2008 budget for

Club Sports is smaller than the

2006-2007 budget. This de-

crease is not a result of a lack

of funding, but a decrease in

the number of clubs; last year

there were 20 clubs receiving

funding, while this year there

are 14 clubs. The number of

clubs fluctuates from year to

year, due to student interest

Even if the Rockies do not makethe playoffs, the future is bright.

The Rockies are a young team.Todd Helton is the only veteran onan offense full of kids. Most of theRockies have a mere 3-4 years

of experience and they can growas they gain experience. Take theexample of Holliday, who has anextra year of experience comparedto RF Brad Hawpe and 3B Gar-rett Atkins. In that one year span,Holliday went from merely being agood player to statistically beingone of the best in the league. Hehas 36 home runs, 133 RBI, 118runs scored, 50 doubles, and a.340 batting average, all withinthe top 7 in the major leagues.

Hawpe, Atkins, and Hollidayall have over 20 home runs and100 RBI and any improvementis just icing on the cake. But theplayer with the most potential forimproving might be Tulowitzki. He

holds the best elding percentageamongst full time shortstops in themajor leagues. Hes shown timeand again that he can make playswith great range and has a rocketfor an arm. But his offensive skillsare as strong as his defense. Hebroke a record for home runs bya rookie shortstop with 24 andadded in 100 runs and 98 RBI.Hes tied for the most RBI amongstshortstops, fth in home runs, and

sixth in runs scored. For most play-ers, this would be a career year.For Tulowitzki, its merely his rst.

This adds up to the second mostruns scored in the National League.

On the pitching side, startingpitcher Jeff Francis has established

himself as the clubs ace with afranchise record-tying 17 winsthis season. They also have AaronCook, who has a slider describedas one of the nastiest in the majorleagues. One of the replace-ment Rockies, Franklin Morales,

t ied a c lubrecord with21 s t ra igh ti n n i n g s o f s c o r e l e s sb a s e b a l lp i tched. Ins h o r t , t h eR o c k i e sh a v e t h e i rbest p i tch-ing staf f in

t h e i r s h o r t h i s t o r y .The Rockies will play a shortplayoff with the San Diego Padresfor the wild card spot this after-noon. Regardless of the outcomeof this game, Rockies fans every-where have just become witnessesto the coming out party. The Rock-ies are relevant again. Whetherthey make it to the playoffs or not,they have made the statementthat they are pushovers no longer.

Rockies RollingMatthew Pusard

Staff Writer

To say this past NFL offseasonstarted off in the worst possibleway would be an understatement.

At 2:00 AM on New Years Day, just hours after the end of theregular season, Denver Broncocornerback Darrent Williams waskilled in a drive by shooting, al-legedly related to gang violence.

This incident acted as a catalystfor the dening policy in the NFL of

the past 9 months. NFL commission-

er Roger Goodell consulted a thinkt a n k o f NFLplayers,includingDarrentsf r i e n dand fel-low cornerback Dominique Fox-worth, and came up with a no-tolerance Personal Conduct Policy.

This document was intended tocurb off-the-eld shenanigans and

it appeared to be long overdue. The NFL had been plagued

with player arrests during theprevious season. The CincinnatiBengals were the worst offenderin this respect. In 2006 alone, the

team had 9 separate incidentswith the law, including WR ChrisHenry, who was arrested threetimes in 2006 and 4 times in thepast 2 years. The team had morearrests than wins that year andthe Bengals missed the playoffs,despite an abundance of talent.

The Personal Conduct Poli-cy has punished troublemakerstoughly and swiftly. Almost imme-diately after the policy was enacted

this April, Goodell suspendedHenry for 8 games and Titans cor-nerback Adam Pacman Jones fora full season. Jones was suspend-ed for ashootingthat oc-curred ina Las Ve-gas stripc l u b .

Also suspended under thisnew policy was Chicago Bearsdefensive tackle Tank Johnson,for multiple incidents including an

arrest for possession of unlicensedweapons, andMichael Vick, forrunning an ille-gal dog fightingring and i l legalgambling on said

ghts. The punishment for Johnson

was 8 games, but Vick, one ofthe most popular and marketablesuperstars in the NFL, received afull year suspension at minimum,but the door has been left openfor a lifetime ban. It is estimatedthat Vick may have lost hundredsof millions of dollars becauseof lost endorsement deals andthe possible voiding of his NFLcontract which was worth anNFL record of $130 million at thetime it was signed in late 2004.

Trouble dominated the offsea-son, but it also had its fair share oftragedy. Less than 2 months afterthe death of Darrent Williams, theBroncos lost another player, back-up running back Damien Nash.Nash had just played in a celebritybasketball game for his charit y, theDarris Nash Find A Heart Founda-tion. This foundation was named

Tales from the OffseasonMatthew Pusard

Staff Writer

The Good, the Bad, and the Sad in the NFL

No Play, No Pay for Club SportsLily Giddings

Content Managerin the clubs offered. This does

not mean, however, that someon-campus activities have been

eliminated; it means that some

former clubs changed status

to special interest groups.

Clubs at Mines are developed

as a counterpart to the Varsity

sports, in that they are competitive

leagues, but they are more devel-

opmental than the Varsity sports.

John Howard commented,

Club sports are chosen for

their lasting power. This refers

to sports that remain popu-lar, and those where the in-

volved students are interested in

competition with local schools.

Clubs are discontinued when

there is no opportunity for inter-

collegiate competition. The mens

rugby team engages in competi-

tion with local schools, such as

CSU and CU. The cheerleading

club, from last year, however, did

not participate in competitions,

so they have been changed

to a special interest group. All clubs are receiving the

same amount of funding, and

the club sports off ice was

able to purchase new equip-

ment for the benet of all the

clubs and intramural sports.

Some of this equipment in-

cludes portable scoreboards

and a field painter, as well

as paying for the hire of stu-

dents to actually paint the eld.

The Personal Conduct Policy

has punished troublemakers

toughly and swiftly.

Doctors performed the transplant

between the two Cowboys, a frst be-

tween two professional athletes.

for Damiens brother who had justrecently received a heart trans-plant. Damien Nash was founddead hours after the game and the

coronerbelievest h a t ah e a r ta i lm en twas t ob l a m e ,

although it was never conrmed.

But this past offseason was notall gloom. Former Dallas CowboyRB Ron Springs was in need of a

kidney transplant. He had Type 2diabetes, which led to his right footbeing amputated as well as a fewtoes on his left foot. He was ondialysis 3 times a week and waswheelchair bound. He had been onthe kidney transplant list for 3 years.

Then in came his former Cowboysteammate, CB Everson Walls. Theyhad met at the Walls rst Dallas

training camp and have been closefriends ever since, even being god-fathers to each others children.

Instead of letting Springs com-pete with an estimated 70,000people now awaiting kidney trans-plants, Walls offered up one ofhis after nding out that he and

Springs were a match. Doctorsperformed the transplant betweenthe two Cowboys, a rst between

two professional athletes. Springshas said of Walls, [He] is mygreatest friend right now, and Ihave to deal with him for 30 moreyears. So in spite of an offseasonthat football icon John Maddenhas described as 99% crap, re-member the good that permeatesthroughout the sport and remem-ber the lifelong bonds that it forges.

The Rockies are relevant

again. Regardless of the

outcome of [Mondays]

game, they have made the

statement that the Rockies

are pushovers no longer.

PHILANTHROPY IN ACTION: On Saturday the 15th, the ladies of Sigma Kappa and the gentle-

men of Phi Gamma Delta volunteered their morning to the memory walk in Denver, supporting

Alzheimers research. On the 22nd, the Sigma Kappas volunteered again at the Colorado

Railroad Museum for A Day Out with Thomas. Watch out in the student center for these ladies

selling lollipops to support Alzheimers research!

Courtesy Teresa Malesardi


5/12

Page 5

FeaturesOctober 1, 2007

As gas prices soar, construc-tion continues on US 6, and your93 Camry continues to just barelymake it to campus, the time is ripefor you to start usingyour bus pass. Withlast springs passage ofthe Intermodal Trans-portation Fee, you nowhave access to theentire RTD bus andLight Rail system in themetro area, and youmay not even know it.

Currently, Goldenbus service relies onfour regular routes andone regional route. The16, 17, 16Ltd, and 44Ltd can be picked up in downtownGolden and rode into surround-ing areas. The GS regional routeservices Golden to Boulder week-days from morning until evening.

You can leave Friday from Goldenat 6:34 PM, go wild all weekendin Boulder, and return to class-es Monday as early as 5:09 AM.

Trying to navigate Golden? Ifyou live near Golden Ridge, South

Dont Pass Up the OpportunityAkira Rattenbury

Student Council on Sustainability

You and Your New Bus PassGolden Road, or Colfax, the 16, 16Ltd, and 17 have regular times to getyou to and from class without ght-ing for that coveted CTLM parkingspace you arrive an hour early toget. You can even ride your bike to abus stop and take it on the bus. This

allows youto snoozein that ex-tra 5 min-utes afteryou stayedup all night s t u d y -ing. Also,instead ofthe hassleof driving inthe snowth is w in-ter, take a

r ide and f in ish your home-work on the warm buses.

Going to downtown Denver?RTD is a fun and safe ride downtownto a Rockies game (playoffs!), theclubs, or whatever else Denver hasto offer. By simply jumping on the16 or 16Ltd, you can get downtownwithout switching buses in underan hour. Instead of looking for andpaying for expensive parking, you

can relax on the bus and enjoy thecompany of your friends, or read thatbook youve been meaning to nish.

Looking to get to the airport? Whypay $5 to $20 a day to park yourcar at DIA when you can take theRTD Skyride to DIA from numerouslocations in the metro area? EachSkyride parking area is lighted withsecurity cameras so you dont haveto worry about thugs stealing yourcar stereo. If you would rather leavefrom Golden, start with the busesfrom downtown Golden to get to theairport in about an hour and a half.Skyride normally costs $18 roundtrip, but with your bus pass, its free!

Use RTD-denver.com to accessroute information, plan a trip, orwrite to the regional director of RTDto get more routes for Golden. Andremember, when you ride instead ofdrive, you save yourself money ongas, and you cut down on pollution.

Bus passes and route schedulesare still available to be picked upfor all undergraduates and gradu-ate students who paid for them atthe Student Activities Office. Sofar, only 2,017 students, or roughly50% of the student body, havepicked up their pass. You paidfor it, so come get yours today!

Looking to get to the

airport? Why pay $5 to

$20 a day to park your car

at DIA when you can take

the RTD Skyride to DIA

from numerous locations

in the metro area?

Despite prevailing attitudes that

forced many of our art and literature

teachers to insist that there is more

to life than science and math, many

of us still nd no more meaning

in a Pollock masterpiece than in

a kindergartners finger-painting.

However, some students find a

strong connection between the in-

genuity required to

solve an engineer-

ing problem and

the creativity neces-

sary to produce art.

The music scene on campus is

small, but is comprised of a dedi-

cated group of people searchingfor a creative outlet. The majority

of students on campus are even

unfamiliar with the success of

former-CSM band, No Fair Fights.

About four years ago, two guys

from Mines formed a band with a

few friends from the Golden area.

These four college students simply

wanted to continue playing music;

they did not have high expectations

for their band. After a few months,

the guys became more comfortable

playing and writing songs together.

No Fair Fights, as they named

their project, began to acquire

dedicated fans and play bigger

and better gigs. They entered, and

usually won, local battle of the

bands contests, and eventuallyearned the title of 106.7 KBPIs

Best Band in Denver-Top 18.

The pinnacle of No Fair Fights

career was at the 2003 Vans

Warped tour when, according to

CSM senior and member of the

Flying Dinosaur, Charlie Frost, they

opened for Unwritten Law. No Fair

Fights now enjoys recognition not

only state-wide, but also around

the country. Their success can be

attributed partially to the support

of the Golden community and

their humble beginnings at CSM.

Frost recalls that CSM hosted

a battle of the bands contest in

March of 2005. Five or six bands on

campus and from the surrounding

community competed for the title

of the Best Band at CSM and an

E-Days Contract. Frost claims that

it sparked interest among the stu-

dent body in the music scene on

campus. Unfortunately, the event,

a tradit ion of

many yea rs ,

did not return in

2006, or 2007.

A decrease

in interest over time has ensured

the demise of this tradition. MAC

found that the battle of bandscontest no longer had enough

support to be continued. Frost said

that he would have liked to have

seen more Battle of the Bands

competitions, they were unique

opportunities that allowed local

musicians and bands to gain the

support of the CSM community.

Chances to enjoy the music of lo-

cal bands do, however, still exist on

and off campus. Anonymous Right

Brains, a CSM club, hosts an Open

Mic Night at Higher Grounds every

other Thursday. The Blue Canyon

Bar and Grille hosts one every

Wednesday. Every other Friday, mu-

sicians, poets, and singers perform

in the Boettcher Room of Arthur

Lakes Library as part of the per-formance series, Concerts in the

Library. The Buffalo Rose provides

a convenient venue for local bands.

The CSM community includes

extremely talented musicians who

have become remarkably success-

ful in the past. The student body

should provide a springboard for

developing local acts. So, take a few

minutes to learn more about bands

around campus and town. You will

be surprised what you discover.

Creative Outlet

to FameDigger Daves Career Corner

Week of October 1, 2007

Where are the jobs? In DiggerNet! Be sure you know how to use DiggerNet

to the max before putting your valuable time and energy into other ways tosearch for full-time jobs or internships.

AND MORE IN DIGGERNET! ALWAYS CHECK FOR LAST-MINUTE CHANG-ES OF ROOM / DATE / TIME. WATCH OUT FOR RESUME DEADLINES!

CONTACT THE CAREER CENTER FOR HELP!

W W W . D I G G E R N E T . N E T

EMPLOYER INFO. SESSIONS!Plan your Networking Strategy! Check DiggerNet for any changes!

MONDAY, OCTOBER 1-TXU Information Session

12:00-1:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom DInterested in Civil, Mech., Elec., Chem E., Mining

-HALLIBURTON Information Session5:00-6:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom B

-CHEVRON CORPORATION Information Session6:00-7:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom A

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 2-EL PASO CORPORATION Information Session

5:00-6:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom B-HANSON BUILDING MATERIALS Information Session

5:00-6:00 PM, Brown Bldg. 201Interested in Civil, Mining

-BP Information Session

6:00-7:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom A

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3-BP: Society of Petroleum Engineers

11:30-1:30 PM, Friedhoff Hall-CONOCO PHILLIPS GEO Information Session

5:00-6:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom A-HENSEL PHELPS Information Session

6:00-7:00 PM, Brown Bldg. 201Interested in Civil, Env., Mech.

-CHESAPEAKE ENERGY Information Session7:00-8:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom A

-DOW CHEMICAL COMPANY Information Session8:00-9:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom DInterested in Met., Mech., ChemE., Elec.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4-EOG RESOURCES Information Session

5:00-6:00 PM, Alderson Hall 140Interested in PE., Geo.

-MILENDER WHITE Information Session5:00-6:00 PM, Brown Bldg. 204Interested in Econ., All Eng.

-SCHLUMBERGER Information Session6:00-7:00 PM, Stu. Ctr. Ballroom A

-SOUTHWESTERN ENERGY Information Session7:00-8:00 PM, Alderson Hall 140

-GRANITE CONSTRUCTION Information Session7:00-8:00 PM, Brown Bldg. 204Interested in E.E., Env., Civil, Mech.

Steven Bolger

Staff Writer

THE HOLDOUTS

Band Name: The Holdouts

Genre: Classic Rock/ Pop/ Blues

Band Website: theholdouts.net

Band Members:

Gretchen Kunz

Eric VielbigScott Wilson

Rod Switzer

Record Label: GoldenRod Re-

cords

Type of Label: Indie

Connection with CSM: drummer/

vocalist Rod Switzer is a professor

in the Department of Mathematical

and Computer Sciences at CSM

FLYING DINOSAUR

Genre: other

Band Website: myspace.com/

fyingdinosaurband

Band Members:

Charlie Frost,

Jeff Miller,Larry Forsythe,

Mike Ashiem

Elizabeth Hinkley

Record Label: none

Connection with CSM: Charlie

Frost is an undergraduate student

at CSM

BA

NDS@MINES

[They] wanted to con-

tinue playing music.


6/12

October 1, 2007

FeaturesPage 6

Institutions that Mines com-pares itself to are doing a better

job with diversity. So, if you wantto stay in that kind of company, youhave to do better, said Dr. Daryl E.Chubin, Director of the American

Association for the Advancement of Sci-ence Capacity Center.

In a series of lec-tures delivered latelast week, Chubin dis-cussed the necessity

of an inclusive collegeenvironment. Talkingabout diversity is verydifcult. Its emotion-ally wrenching, it forc-es people to addressthings explicitly that theywould rather leave implicit, saidChubin. With reference to diversityplanning, he added, If it succeeds,it will transform this campus.

Chubins presentations centered

around The Tipping Point a bookwritten by Malcolm Gladwell andmethods to implement its teach-ings in a collegiate environment.

In regard to Mines new fo-cus on diversity, Chubin noted;The biggest tragedy is when

people who are capable and areinterested are turned off and goelsewhere. He continued withhis personal denition of diversity,

MAC $168,600.00

Sports Club $80,000.00

IM Sports $55,000.00

Outdoor Rec $45,000.00

ASCSM $25,500.00

Oredigger $20,000.00IFC $9,000.00

Circle K $7,500.00

Panhellenic $5,500.00

Ballroom Dance $6,000.00

Other $83,524.60

Total Budget $505,624.60

Geek Weekofthe

...Darren Haines, Senior: Mechanical EngineeringSatira Tajdin-Labib

Staff Writer

Mines and The

Tipping PointDiversity in the Engineering Environment

Zach Aman

Editor-in-Chiefsaying that diversity means allsorts of differences that matter tothe community: disability, sexualorientation, first-generation col-lege attendance, and language, inaddition to the typical ones. Thepoint is whether you see the differ-ences as an asset or as a liability.

In explaining how to understanddiversity, Chubin ex-plained, You dont

do diversity for diver-sitys sake, you do it

because it makes theoutcomes better. Pro-fessors need to ask

themselves: Whatare my assumptionsabout students whodont look like me?

Chubin also explainedthat people tend to

become consumed withthe visible types of diversity, asopposed to the invisible types.

In addition, Chubin pointedout that engineering communi-ties tend to have a difcult time

with change: This is a set ofcommunities that do not learnvery well. They do themselvesa great disservice. Gatekeepercourses do a lot to remove peoplewho are good and capable.

At the end of his lecture, Chu-

bin was careful to note, We areoutsiders, which means I can saya bunch of stuff that you dont like,

then hop a plane and go home.

When did you first real-

i z e y o u w e r e a g e e k ?Well thats an easy question, see I

wear this watch, it is a Casio, andits got a calculator built in (it also

had a scheduler and other neatthings). Ever since I got this watchIve realized I was a geek. I saw all

these watches to choose from andthe only one I wanted was the onewith the calculator and that was7 or 8 years ago. I also have the1997 Pre-Taiwan issue Ti-83 plus.

D o y ou own H a l o 3 ?No, Im more into classic arcade

games like Atari 2600 and 5200. Iown a ColecoVision, who was put

out of business by Atari. I own theoriginal Nintendo. I rebuild themtoo; I call Nintendo and get spareparts to refurbish older Nintendosystems. I have a Super Nintendo;and a 3D0 which is the pre-Play-Station. Also the 3D Nintendo,which was probably the worstgame system ever built. It wasvery crude, everything was in red.

Whats the longest con-

s e c u t i v e t i m e y o u v e

spent on a video game?

Well, it wasnt just me alone but

there was this Atari contest.1981 Laser Blast by ActivisionContest: If you succeed in scor-ing the maximum of 1 millionpoints, you will be admitted to

the Activision Federation of LaserBlasters which entitles you toa certificate and small plaque.Four of my friends and I decidedto attempt this monumental task

on the Atari 5200 even though

it had expired nearly 23 yearsago. Armed with a single buttonjoystick and a case of Red Bullwe began at 7am one Saturdayand played in four hour shiftstill we reached the ultimatepoints level, thus granting usthe Status of Ultimate LaserBlasters, by 11pm that evening.

What is the geekiest

thing youve ever done?I once used a rock to calculatehow high I was on a mountaintop. I threw the rock off themountain and I calculated myvertical position from wherethe rock landed. I had a topo-graphic map with me but Ididnt know how to use it.

W h a t s t h e c o o l -est thing about science?

The coolest thing about sci-ence would have to bethe Mandelbrot set, because itphysically represents inf inity.

What are your passions in life?Im a Classic English car restora-tion enthusiast, and I happen tohave one in my pocket right now. Idrive around in a Classic mini. Youcant miss it; its blue and white.

What is your geek joke?Q: How many Microsoft engineersdoes it take to change a light-bulb?

A: None - they just declare dark-ness to be industry standard.

W h a t s t h e g e e k i e s t

thing youve seen at Mines?

Those posters (pointing to theposters in the Digger Den), theengineering schematics of a skierand an ice cream sundae. Thosethings, by far. Ive heard and seen

many things at Mines but thosethings are physical represen-tations of geekiness at Mines.

What geeky club are you in?Im part of the WOW Addicts

Anonymous. Theres a club I

wanted to create The SpinningCylinders, where we basicallythrow cylinders across campus.If you take a piece of paper andfolded it in a cylinder and shootit like a paper airplane. They justgo like these fascinating things.

(He d em o n s t r a t ed f o r

me; I never knew cylinders

could fly. It was pretty neat.)What do you want to do af-ter you graduate from Mines?Rapid proto-typing, which is 3Dmodeling and injection modeling.

ALL DAY MONDAY

Half-price Calzones withpurchase of beverage

or side salad

WEDNESDAY 8 10PM

Play Buzz Time Triviaand win great prizes

$6.99 pitchers of beer

Specials valid at OC Wheat Ridge only. Must be 21 to consume alcohol.

CHECK OUT OUR

GREAT DAILY SPECIALS!

THURSDAY 9PM CLOSE

$1.50 American Draft Beers

3250 Youngfeld 32nd & Youngfeld behind Applejacks Liquor 303.237.7414

Eat. Drink. Be Yourself.TM

COURTESY DARYL CHUBIN

Geek Pose: Darren Hainesnamed Geek of the Week.

MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER

Club Funding

Breakdown

The ASCSMs tota l bud-get for the current year was$505,624.60. Roughly athird of this money wentto MAC. They spend iton bringing special eventsto campus, Movie Night,Friday Afternoon Club, andE-Days. 16% of the money wentto club sports, and 11% went toIntramural sports. This money

Melinda Bartel

Staff Writergoes towards sports equipment

like portable score boards anda f ield painter in addit ion to

compet i t ion fees. The rest

o f

HILARYBROWN/O

REDIG

GER

the money wentt o t h e Ou t d o o rRecreation Center (9%),

ASCSM (5%), the Ore-digger (4%), IFC (2%),

Circle K (1%), Panhel-lenic (1%), and Ballroom

Dance (1%). Other orga-nizations received the

17% of the remainingfunds. The top 10 re-ceivers of the allocatedmoney got $422,100.00.


7/12


8/12

October 1, 2007

SatirePage 8

Nationally recognized author, _______________, released her

new book ______ weeks ago and it is already a _________

seller. The book, __________ in the ________, has made

readers pleased selling ______ copies its first day. The plot

is complex, but inviting. A ________ man and his ________

travel to _________ for __________. On their way, they meet

____________, a _________ woman who loves ________. To

say the least, they get into trouble. They ______ off a train,

_______ through a river, and in chapter ______, ___________

gets to _____ her enemy. This book will ______ your mind in

___________s twisted and _______ world.-Mike Stone

Mad Mines-You become the reporter!Proper Noun 1

Number Adjective

Number

NounInfnitive

Adjective

Verb

Adjective Noun

Proper Noun 2

Location

Infnitive

Plural NounBrett Favre

Microsoft and Bungie Stu-

dios re leased the th i rd and

final installment of the Halo

trilogy last week breaking sale

records in the entertainment

industry. Only one week since

the re lease, s ide ef fects of

h u m a n

b e h a v -

i o r b y

the v id -

eo game

have a l-

r e a d y

been feltth roughout the nat ion and

wor ld. The main s ide ef fect

of compulsive Halo 3 usage

appears to be a decrease in

the spread of communicable

diseases. Reported cases of

the common cold, f lu, rabies,

chickenpox, hantavirus, tur-

keypox, and a slew of other

diseases have dropped dra-

matically since Halo 3.

Wh i le a sma l l po r t ion o f

med ica l p ro fess iona ls c i te

self-seclusion from normal

act iv i ty and human contact

as t h e m a in r e su l t o f

Halo 3 CureS Common ColdTim Weilert

HypochondriacHalo 3, a much larger section

of the medical world believes

w h a t h a s b e c o m e k n o w n

as HD Immune System En-

h an cem en t . S t u d i e s h ave

found during extended peri-

ods of high definit ion images

and sounds, the human body

natura l ly produce excessive

amounts of white blood cells,

w h i c h i n t u r n b o o s t s i m -

mune system

responses*.

In addit ion

to cur ing the

common cold,

Halo 3 has a

variety of oth-er non-enter ta inment uses.

Phys ics ma jo rs on campus

at Mines have found Halo 3

useful as a disc for the daily

u l t im a t e f r i sb ee g am es o n

Kafadar Commons. Ha lo 3

can also be used as a fair ly

effective coaster for a variety

of beverages, hot or cold.

*The only known side ef-

fects of HDISE are blindness,

deafness, social anxi-

ety, excessive body

odor, tooth decay,

and arthrit is.

Aside from in-depth

knowledge of Scrubs tr ivia

and being Flip Cup cham-

pion of the Western Hemi-

sphere (I took second at

the world championships to

a guy from Singapore that

should have been checked

for steroids), I am a connois-

seur of zombie movies. I love

zombie movies. Nothing is

better than just hanging out

and watching a group of bad

actors running away from

some of the most entertain-

ing f i lm monsters in exis-

tence. On the up side, I have

been able to do research into

what we can all expect in

the case of an actual zombie

attack. Most people know

the basics about surviving a

zombie situation, but there

are some overlooked t idbits

you need to know.

1. Zombie attacks are

a great way to pick up

womenI know it is shallow. I

know it is crude. But as a

guy, I can personally vouch

for the fact that regardlessof the catastrophe going on

around us, we are st i l l trying

to get tai l. From my exten-

sive research on the topic,

there are always at least

two attractive women in any

random group of people that

band together for survival.

Out of those two, one of

them wil l be the sweet,

strong-wil led type that is

perfect dating material while

the other wil l normally be a

downright [ lady of i l l repute].

Five Things about Zombies That You Should KnowOliver Todd

Zombiologist

Verb

Number Proper Noun 2

Verb

Proper Noun 1

Verb

Adjective

...the human body naturally pro-

duce excessive amounts of white

blood cells...

Zombie Nurse...

nice.

It is a win-win situation. This

combined with the adrenaline

of ki l l ing zombies is enough

to get anyones hormones

racing. The only f law is the

stress your relat ionship wil l

be under from being forged

in such awkward circum-

stances. Oh, and the fact

that freaking zombies are

attacking you.

2. Dont be richThis is the one situation

where I wouldnt want to

have moolah and trust me,

Ive been hoping to become

rich enough to hire a troupeof break dancing midgets to

follow me around. In almost

every zombie movie, there

is at least one r ich jerk that

seems to forget that zombies

dont care if he has a BMW

or a country club member-

ship. This guy wil l almost

always try to argue with ev-

eryone and point to the fact

that he is r ich to justify why

he is important. Luckily this

lasts for al l of 20 minutes

before he tr ies to run away

and becomes zombie food.

To be honest, I feel bad for

the zombies that have to eat

him. If this guy is a r ich tool

when he is al ive, just imag-ine what he would be l ike

as a r ich zombie tool. Poor

zombies.

3. Dont be RussianZombies l ike vodka.

Enough said. You know it is

true.

4. Zombies cant swimI dont really understand

this, but from everything

Ive seen it is an indisput-

able fact-- Zombies hate

the water. I could moon a

zombie from ten feet away

as long as Im standing in

the shallow end of the pool.

It doesnt make any sense!

This means your chance of

survival during a zombie at-

tack is much greater if you

live near large bodies of

water. This also means that

anyone in Kansas is totally

boned. But honestly, does it

really matter? Russians l ive

in Kansas.

5. Your best friend will

become a zombieI know zombie uprisings

sound l ike all fun and games,

but they are very emotionallydraining as well. In al l my

experiences with zombies,

the best fr iend always gets

screwed over in the end.

It normally happens when

freedom is within everyones

grasp and out of nowhere

your buddy gets bitten. As

the best fr iend, it is your

duty to be the one to put

them out of their misery.

I frequently tel l my close

fr iends (as well family mem-

bers, pets, teachers, and

the occasional fast food

worker) that if they become a

zombie, I wil l not hesitate to

do what needs to be done.

John: you really shouldnthave eaten my Pizza Bagels.

In todays society, a zom-

bie attack seems inevitable.

Everything is so messed up

already that an undead up-

rising would just be a cherry

on top of the proverbial sun-

dae. Well, that and voting for

Hillary Clinton. But really, are

those two things different?

Think you have

what it takes to

Take Your Best

Shot?Emai l your joke about

B re t t Favre to o red ig@

mines.edu with the heading

Take your best shot, your

name, and your major or class

you teach.


9/12

Page 9

SatireOctober 1, 2007

CSU Student Tasered after Inflammatory Article

Taser This!

A f t e r w r i t i ng an i n -

c e n d i a r y f r e e - s p e e c h

ed i to r ia l fo r the Co lo-

r a d o S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y

student paper, the au-

t h o r w a s t a s e r e d i n

h i s apa r tmen t by two

sec re t se r v i ce agen ts

on Thursday. The div i-

s ive art ic le that ign i ted

a ruck us was en t i t l ed

Taser Th is! and con-

t a i n e d t h e m e s s a g e

[Expletive De-

l e ted ] Bush .

Th i s i n i t i a t ed

a vast debatea b o u t F i r s t

A m e n d m e n t

rights versus good judg-

ment of the press when

regard ing obscen i t ies .

T h e s e c r e t s e r v i c e

agents, James Bauer ,

34, and Patr ick Snow,

36, f lew into Colorado

spec i f ica l l y fo r the ta -

ser ing. On the evening

o f S e p t e m b e r 2 7 t h ,

the two men broke into

the ed i to rs apa r tmen t

a t 7 :52pm and saw a

m a n s l e e p i n g o n t h e

c o u c h . T h e y i m m e d i -

a te l y zapped h im . I t

w a s l a t e r f o u n d t h a t

he was the roommate

o f t h e e d i t o r i a l w r i t -

e r , k n o w n a s S t e v e .

S teve men t ioned tha t

he was peeved abou t

be ing shocked, but he

p la yed pos-

s u m a t t h e

t ime. Didnt

wan t to see

mysel f at the

wrong end ofa Guantanamo Bay tr ip.

T h e s e c r e t s e r v i c e

agents soon found their

way to the wri ters room

a n d f o u n d h i m a l s o

as leep. They tu rned up

the voltage from 10,000

to 15 ,000 vo l t s . They

fe l t th is wou ld de l i ve r a

near fata l b low and get

the i r message ac ross.

By do ing so , they de-

creased the amperage

s o w h e n t h e y f i n a l l y

zapped the wr i te r , he

woke up, saw what they

w e r e d o i n g , l a u g h e d ,

and f i re proceeded to

b low ou t o f h i s nose .

T h e f i r e q u i c k l y

spread to h is bed and

end table, break ing up

the scene . The wr i te r ,

a g e n t s , a n d f o r m e r l y

p resumed-dead S teve

f l e d t h e a p a r t m e n t .

The agen ts ended up

m a k i n g a c l e a n g e t -

a w a y f r o m t h e s c e n e

be fore the f i re f igh te rs

a r r i v e d , d o u s e d t h e

f i re , and found Snows

c r e d e n t i a l s l y i n g o n

t h e b e d r o o m f l o o r .

We caught up to the

b o l d m e m b e r s o f t h e

secret serv ice at Den-

ver Internat iona l Airport

to ask them about the

inc ident. When inquired

ton the ir purpose, Bau-

e r r e s p o n d -

e d , T h e a r -

t ic le sounded

l i k e a d a r e . S n o w a d d -

e d , I t i s n t

l i k e w e w e r e n e e d e d

around the White House

anyway. We just gave

Cheney a shotgun and

no one has come with in

a f e w b l o c k s o f t h e

bu i ld ing s ince we le f t .

The on l y downs ide i s

the dead squirre l p i les

o n t h e W h i t e H o u s e

l a w n . W h e n C h e n e y

g e t s h i s g u n , t h i n g s

tend to d ie in swarms

Here at the Oredigger,

th is was a very impor-

tant issue. One anony-

m o u s a n d s t u n n i n g l y

handsome Fools Gold

wr i te r had th is to say

about the controversy:

I w a s o f f e n d e d b y

t h e e d i t o r i a l . I t s n o t

because it was obscene

nor am I

a B u s h

a p o l o -

g i s t . I

was o f -

f e n d e dbecause i t wasnt or ig i-

na l . The best you can

c o m e u p w i t h i s a n

obscen i t y to desc r ibe

Bush? I m pretty sure

t h a t s b e e n s a i d m i l -

l i ons o f t imes i n New

Y o r k C i t y a l o n e . I n

fac t , I hear tha t s l i ke

a g ree t i ng i n NYC. I

k n o w a l o t o f h u m o r

sur round ing the pres i -

dent has been recyc led

t h e s e d a y s , b u t t h i s

was not a s tep in the

r i g h t d i r e c t i o n . L i k e

h i m o r n o t , e v e r y o n e

k nows Bush p rov ides

a p r o v e r b i a l t r e a s u r e

trove of jokes with h is

g a f f s a n d m a l a p r o p -

isms. The editor prob-

ably deserved a l itt le bit

of zapping for this crime

a g a i n s t j o u r n a l i s m .

Mathew Pusard

Shocking Reporter

I was offended

by the editorial.

Didnt want to see myself

at the wrong end of a Guan-

tanamo Bay trip.

H o w m a n y t i m e s

c a n o n e m a n s a v e

the wor ld? I say , not

e n o u g h . W h a t t r a i n -

ing is requ i red fo r such

a job? C lose quar te rs

comba t , bomb de fus-

ing , ca r s l id ing , weap-

ons t ra in ing , and ho ld-

i ng you r b rea th . . . i ng .

Who are Jack Bauers

heroes? MacGyver and

Walker Texas Ranger.

Does Jack l i ke you?

H e t h i n k s y o u a r e a

t e r r o r i s t a n d h e l l d o

anyth ing to ge t you to

admit youre a terror ist .

D id I run out o f ques-

t ions to ask? Yes.

A scanda l has e rupt-

ed a round our be loved

h e r o o f h e r o e s . J a c k

B a u e r h a s b e e n a c -

Jack Bauer is My HeroA Manifesto Against the Lies

Mike Stone

CTU agent #4, episode 53

cused o f Dr iv ing Under

t h e I n f l u e n c e b y t h eU.S. Government . Th is

g r i e v o u s a n d t e r r i b l e

a c t o f j e a l o u s y h a s

come d i rec t ly f rom the

Pres iden t a f t e r a h i s -

to r y o f d rug use was

recent ly w iped o f f h is

record. Jack Bauer had

n e v e r a n d w i l l n e v e r

d r i ve unde r t he i n f l u -

e n c e o f a n y t h i n g b u t

bad-assery .

On the n igh t in ques-

t i o n , J a c k k i l l e d f i v e

te r ro r is ts , had two car

c h a s e s , i n t e r r o g a t e d

th ree peop le , c racked

o n e c o d e , s a i d t h e

w o r d s , W h o d o y o u

work fo r? e igh t t imes,

t o r t u r e d a c h i l d a n d

b a k e d a b u n t c a k e .

There s imp ly wou ldn t

b e e n o u g h t i m e f o r

d r i n k i n g , l e t a l o n e

s l e e p i n g o r g o i n g t o

t h e r e s t r o o m . I f h ehad gone to s leep, he

wou ld have been gone

for th ree ep isodes. I n -

s t e a d , h e p u t s o m e

b e e r c a n s s u s p e c t e d

of te r ro r ism in h is back

sea t .

I f you do no t k now

w h o t h e g r e a t J a c k

B a u e r i s , t h e r e i s a

c h r o n i c l e o f h i s l i f e

p i e c e d t o g e t h e r f r o m

c o n v e n i e n t l y p l a c e d

s e c u r i t y c a m e r a s o n

the Fox Network eve ryyear in m id- fa l l . I t i s

c a l l e d 2 4 f o r h o w

many t imes Jack Bauer

h a s s a v e d t h e w o r l d .

Our na t iona l he ro can

b e s e e n M o n d a y s a t

7 p m . I w o u l d g l a d l y

have Jack Bauers ba-

b ies.


10/12

October 1, 2007Page 10

Iranian president Mahmoud Ah-madinejad addressed a Columbia

University audience last week inwhat lived up to the expectation ofa three-ring circus that the Americanpublic had been promised. Whilemost support the idea of an intel-lectual debate, the opportunity tograndstand on an American campushas done more to further legitimizeAhmadinejads authoritarian rule thanto increase international cooperation.

The case has long been made thatAhmadinejad is a dangerous man.His bizarre diatribes against Jews,indels, and homosexuals are quoted

almost weekly. Often underreportedis the fact that violent persecutionsare regularly carried out, in a MiddleEastern fashion, against these groups.

The Western world, however, does

not immediately become alarmed atthe idea of a radically fundamentaldespot. Many governments aroundthe globe operate with openly heldand institutionalized forms of racialand religious prejudices of one avor

or another. Only when a country be-comes powerful enough to act on suchextremism does the world take note.

Herein lies the crux of Ahmadine-jads game with the world community.

Duffys CornerAhmadinejads Trip to Columbia Univ. Turns Heads

He is facing a populace that is feelingincreasingly disenfranchised. Iranianpeople are growing weary of the ex-treme Islamic rule cast over the countrysince the 1979 overthrow of the Shah.

Therefore, the fallback position for anyruler in this situation is to concentrateon increasing the legitimacy of theruling party.

This socialstrife withinIran is one ofthe primarypurposes ofAhmadine- jads quest

for nuclearpower capable of refinement intoatomic warheads. By simultaneouslyannouncing to the world both Iransnuclear ambitions and his fanaticalpersonal rhetoric, he accomplishes twothings. First, he looks brave in the eyesof Iranians, who now falsely perceive

him as struggling against the West forelectrical power. Second, he increasesIranian national pride as Ahmadinejadengages the country in a quest for a

seat in the so-called nuclear club.With this in mind, it is not hard to

understand why his visit to ColumbiaUniversity failed to do anything besidesallowing him to make a mockeryof Americas long-held faith in freespeech. Academia mentality allowed

Columbia President, Lee Bollinger,to welcome Ahmadinejad with openarms. And although critics claimBollingers remarks at the event wereoverly insulting, this is exactly what

the Iranian president was expecting.He was given the perfect introduc-tion in which to stage his diatribe.

And while to theAmerican peoplethe Columbia eventis but a blip in theradar screen, theIranian people areled to believe that Ahmadinejad isagain bravely facing

the West for the good of the Iran. Forproof of this, look no farther then thewelcoming language of the Daily IranNews: By fearlessly and courageouslywalking into the Lions Den ... he issure to become even more of a heroin the Arab-Muslim street than before.

The tragedy is that Mr. Bollingerplayed Irans game and has seem-ingly lost. As much as a universitysuch as Columbia believes it existsin the academia bubble, the realityis that their decisions can play justas much of a role in current worldpolitics as the US State Department.Unfortunately for the American public,responsibility and discretion weresorely absent from Bollingers decision.

Kevin Duffy

Content Manager

Beef: Trailhead is the biggest pain.Response: Youre not alone on this one.

This sentiment is generally acceptedacross campus. The administrationis examining the benets and pitfalls

of the program and assessing itsimpact on our campus. As of rightnow, thats all I can say. Well justhave to get through this one together.

Beef:Whats with the parking fee? We

didnt vote on it, and didnt the cityof Golden outlaw CSM from charg-

ing fees to park on city streets?Response:The parking fee was set up to cre-

ate another stream of auxiliary incometo support a bond for building a parkinggarage. The money is in place andthe planning under way right now.This fee did not have to be approvedby a student body vote because it isan optional fee. Students can opt outof paying it, but they will risk getting

Whats Your Beef With Mines?ASCSM President Casey Morse Answers Your Questions

ticketed if they park on campus. As forthe issue with Golden, the city passedlegislation to restrict charging a studentfee for parking on city streets, but thedecision was overturned almost im-mediately. The parking policy detailedon the CSM website is still in effect.

Beef:Does any of my tuition go towards

paying for free tutors for the athletes?Response:No, none of your tuition dol-

lars go towards paying forthe athletes to get free tutors.

Beef: T h e M i n e s w e b -

site needs some seri-

ous improvements.Response:

T h e w e b s i t eis under renova-tion right now. If youhave any specic com-plaints or suggestions, Ican pass them on to the ap-propriate people for consideration.

Beef: T h e R e c . C e n t e r i s

nice, but i t costs too much.Response:

There is a $55 fee that shows up onyour tuition in addition to a $30 fee. The$55 is used as in income stream to payoff debt on the bond that was issuedabout 5 years ago to raise money tobuild the Rec. Center. Students 5 yearsago voted to approve the $55 fee, whichwe will be paying for about 25 moreyears. The $30 is used to cover operat-ing costs, which is actually a reasonableprice considering the available facilities.

Beef:W h y d o

we have bells betweenclasses? This isnt high school.

Response:

I will be approaching several otherstudent and faculty group to receive

more input from them. If there is ageneral sentiment that we can dowithout the bells, I will talk to Facili-ties Management and do my best tohave them discontinued. Please letme know if this becomes an issue.

Beef:

Why is out-of-state tuition so high?Response:

Out-of-state tuition is calculatedbased on the operating costs of pro-viding a student with an engineeringdegree. Essentially, thats how muchit costs CSM to provide you with yourdegree. The reason in-state tuition islower than that is because the state issupposed to make up the difference.Private schools like RPI and MIT have

signicantly higher tuition because theyare not regulated by the state. Also,they can use this extra cash ow to

help subsidize growth on campus.Rest assured that the out of state tuitioncant go much higher because it woulddiscourage out of state students fromattending this institution. Our currenttuition rate is actually an attractive sell-ing point for many out of state studentscomparing us to private schools.

Casey Morse

ASCSM President

A new campus diversity plan

has been in the works for sev-

eral months, and it has been sent

to faculty and staff for review and

feedback. The Jena 6 have been

in the news of late. Last spring, radio

host Don Imus lost his job for a rac-

ist remark, and racism continues to

be a highlighted issue in America.

It has been nearly 40 years since

Lyndon Baines Johnson signed the

Civil Rights Act into law. Last Tuesday

was the 50th anniversary of the forced

desegregation of Little Rock Central

High School. And yet, racial segrega-

tion continues to persist, and racism

fueled by lack of exposure to diversityoccurs in the public spotlight every day.

Afrmative action is the practice

of mandating that diversity quotas be

met through any means necessary.

In other words, having public institu-

tions give preference in employment

or admission to people because of

their race, gender, national origin, etc.

Now, I agree that diversity is a nec-

essary element in any environment. It

is an admirable goal to have the group

Whats Wrong With

Affirmative Action?

of people in every societal environ-ment be representative of our diverse

country. This is an especially desirable

goal in an educational community.

But, like it or not, afrmative action is

not the way to accomplish that goal.

At one point in time, affirma-

tive action was the preferred way

to encourage diversity. This was

because people in charge of public

institutions were not receptive to the

idea of choosing applicants regard-

less of personal characteristics. It

was also apparent that the general

public was not ready to accept the

famous words of our Founding Fa-

thers: All men are created equal.

This was certainly true in the case of

the Little Rock Nine, who are famous

as a part of the forced racial integra-tion of Little Rock Central High School

in Arkansas in 1957. President Dwight

Eisenhower had to send in federal

troops to escort them past an angry

white mob, just so they could go to

school alongside their fellow students.

Now, however, this is not the case.

We live in a time where diversity is

valued, at least publicly, by all. The

preferred way to increase the diver-

sity of companies as well as public

colleges and universities should be

to make diverse applicants more

attractive. Priority in employment

or admission should in no circum-

stances be given to anyone because

their personal characteristics would

advance diversity. The idea that

being black or Hispanic or Asianor from a foreign country or even

female would give you an advantage

in being hired by an employer or

admitted to college is preposterous.

Afrmative action is the easy way

out. It is the cowards way of xing

the problems of unqualied applicants

and an unsatisfactory pool of pro-

spective students. If you want more

diversity as an institution, make your

school more attractive. Market your-

self to students whose demographic

is lacking at your respective college.

Support work that promotes the

subjects that your school promotes.

Under no circumstances should you

alter standards to satisfy diversity.

I dont believe the justification

that says afrmative action in highereducation is necessary because

students in a certain demographic

dont do as well in academics. That

is bull. If that is the issue, the prob-

lem is in primary education and not

in college admissions standards.

Diversity More than Just StatisticsAndrew AschenbrennerEditorials Editor

SEE STANDARDS PAGE 11

Only when a country be-

comes powerful enough to

act on such extremism does

the world take note.


11/12

Page 11

Op-EdOctober 1, 2007

Why would you invite a Is-rael-hat ing madman to ourcountry as a guest speaker?

This thought was on the mindsof many Americans last Mondaywhen the Iranian President Mah-moud Ahmadinejad nally arrived

in the USA. This is the sameMahmoud Ahmadinejad who isfamous for wanting to blow Is-rael off the map and who sendslengthy letters to President Bush.He was invited by the presidentof Columbia University, Lee C.Bollinger, to answer questionsabout the Iranian presidency.

When the Iranian presidentarrived Monday in New York, hewas met by a massive crowdof raging citizens; he was alsogreeted with a string of insultsfrom Bollinger. Is this why Bollingerinvited Ahmadinejad, to insult himfor 2 hours? The next day Iraniancitizens displayed their anger. Theydemanded that Bollinger come totheir country for an interview, sayingthat due to their culture, they wouldtreat him with nothing but respect.

During Ahmadinejads ad-dress to Columbia University, hewas faced with questions aboutIsrael, the Holocaust, and histreatment of homosexuals. Hesaid the Holocaust did not haveenough documentation. Fur-thermore, he denied executinghomosexuals because that phe-nomenon does not exist in Iran.

Afterwards, Ahmadinejad feltthat the talk was a positive move

for Iran. I also think this is true.It gave him a chance to talk to America without the influenceof subjective media. He couldportray himselfas somethingo t h e r t h a nthe cruel andinsane dicta-tor touted bythe med i a .

N o d a ypasses with-ou t peop l ebeing kil led,wounded ordisplacedwhile [the po-litical leadersof America]do not evenhave the cour-age to declarethei r defeatand exit Iraq.

These are Ira-nian PresidentMahmoud Ah-madinejadswords, trans-lated from Far-si, at his UNappearanceon Tuesday. So who is MahmoudAhmadinejad, and what exactlyhe is he trying to accomplish?

I believe the Iranian presidentis a great leader trying to put agreat country back on the map.He has done many things for hiscountry in the public eye. In anIslamic country like Iran, the major-ity would praise him for eliminatingthe gay population. Iran has taken

Satira Tajdin-Labib

Staff Writer

Isnt Ahmadinejad Entitled to Freedom of Speech?a turn for the better in religion andpolitics since

Documents

The Oredigger Issue 05 - October 1, 2007