The One Where Joey Speaks French

7/23/2019 The One Where Joey Speaks French

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The One Where Joey Speaks French

Joey: Well anyway, I'm glad you're back, I really _____________________.

Phoebe: Oh, why? What's up?

Joey: I have an audition or this play and or some o it I haveto speak !rench. Which, ________________________, I'mluent in.

Ross: "oey, you _______________________ on your r#sum#.

Monica: $eah, you really shouldn't. %to &oss, sarcastically (ythe way, how was that _____________ dig in )airo?

Ross: %whispering It was ok...

Rachel: I did not know you ________________.

Phoebe: Oui, bien sur *e parle !ran+ais -u'estce /ue tu penses alors?

Rachel: Oh... you're so _______________

Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really _____________ inthis play.

Phoebe: 0ure 1out le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami.

Rachel: 0eriously stop it, or I'm gonna ________on ya

[Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so

she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.

Phoebe: 2ll right, it seems pretty simple. $our irst line is34y name is )laude3, so, __________________________.3"e m'appelle )laude3.

Joey: "e de coup )low.

Phoebe: Well, *ust... let's try it ______________.

Joey: Ok.

Phoebe: "e m'appelle )laude.

Joey: "e depli mblue.

Phoebe: 5h. It's not... quite what ________________.

Joey: &eally? It sounds e6actly the______________.

Phoebe: It does, really?

Joey: $eah.

Phoebe: 2ll right, let *ust try it again. ____________________.

Joey: 7ot it.

Phoebe: %slowly "e m'appelle )laude.

Joey: "e te louppe !li.

Phoebe: Oh, mon 8ieu

Joey: Oh, de u

!rica: 1hank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't

believe I'm here

Joey: Welcome to 9ew $ork )ity Or _________________3ghe deu loo 9ew $ork )ity3?

Chandler: Why would you say that?

[Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.

Phoebe: "e m'appelle )laude.

Joey: "e do call blue

Phoebe: 9oooo Ok, maybe i we *ust ___________________ Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? 0o repeat ater me.3*e3.

Joey: *e.

Phoebe: m'ap

Joey: mah

Phoebe: pelle

Joey: pel.

Phoebe: 7reat, ok aster 3*e3

Joey: *e.

Phoebe: m'ap

Joey: mah

Phoebe: pelle

Joey: pel.

Phoebe: "e m'appelle

Joey: 4e pooh pooh

Phoebe: Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you

Joey: What are you doing?

Phoebe: I, I have to go beore I put your head through a wall.%she leaves

Joey: %he goes out calling her 8on't move 8on't go I needyou 4y ______________________ 0hah blue blah 4e lah

peeh Ombrah %he gives up. ooh.



[Joey's apartment. "e is sitting on the barcalo#nger

holding a French st#dy book and listening to a French

learning tape.

$ape: We will now count rom one to ive. 5n, deu6, trois,/uatre, cin/.

Joey: ;uh, un, blu, bla, lu, lenk

$ape: 7ood *ob.

Joey: 1hank you.

%hoebe enters

Phoebe: ;ey "oey.

Joey: ;ey

Phoebe: <isten, I eel ____________________ aboutyesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I

_____________. 0O lets try it again.

Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked onit mysel and I _______________, I am pretty good

Phoebe: &eally, can I hear some o it.

Joey: 0ure, sure. Ok, %clears his throat and starts to read romhis script. ;e starts talking in a ake !rench accent, makinggestures with his hands 3(leu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu3%hoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, "oey seemsvery proud though 0ee?

Phoebe: Well, you're not, %she tries to smile and contain heranger, but loses it $ou're not... you're not... again, you're not

___________________________

Joey: %oended Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'mdeinitely ___________________________.

Phoebe: ;ow could you possibly think that?

Joey: !or one thing, the guy _____________________ said Iwas doing a good *ob

$he theatre where Joey is a#ditioning. Phoebe enters when

Joey's on stage and she sits down. "e hasn't seen her.

%irector: Whenever you're ready "oey.

Joey: &ight. %clears his throat 8*a bu bu )laude. 5h, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo.

Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on?

Joey: 8ude, come on ______________________

%irector: "oey, do you speak !rench?

Joey: 1outes la smore (u bluay bloo blah ooh oo

%irector: $ou know what. I think this _______________________ %"oey looks disappointed, butunderstands.

Phoebe: %in a !rench accent 5h, e6cuse me. 5h, I am &egin#

hilange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the ________________________ o my !rench town o =st#e<auder.

%irector: $ou really think this man is speaking !rench?

Joey: 0asasaw

Phoebe: >coute, *e vais vous dire la v#rit#. )'est mon petitr@re. Il est un peu retard#. %1ranslation: <isten, I will tell youthe truth. ;e's my little bother. ;e's a bit retarded.

%1he director looks at "oey and he nods.

Phoebe: 2lors, si vous pouvie *ouer le *eu avec lui...%1ranslation: 0o, would you please *ust humor him?

%irector: %to "oey 7ood *ob, little buddy. 1hat was somereally good !rench. (ut I think we're gonna go

________________________ or the part.

Joey: 2h. 2ll right. (ut my !rench was good?

%irector: It was great.

Joey: %to hoebe Ohhoh ;ahah 0ee

Phoebe: %to the director 4erci. 2u revoir. %1ranslation:1hanks, goodbye.

Joey: $eahhah. 1outedeleruit.

[Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are

&#pdating& Joey's res#m.

Phoebe: Okay, can you really _____________?

Joey: 9o.

Phoebe: It's o the resum#. %she strikes it through with a pencil

Phoebe: _________________?

Joey: 9o.

Phoebe: ;orseback riding?

Joey: Would all ____________________.

Phoebe: $ou can drink a ___________________ in ABseconds?

Joey: That I can do.

Phoebe: )ome on $ou can drink a gallon o milk in ABseconds?

Joey: 2ll right, _____________ %he takes a ull container omilk rom the ridge Okay, you time me. &eady?



Phoebe: &eady... 7O

%"oey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts todrink. 4ost o the milk gushes rom the bottle down his chinand over his clothes to the loor. ;e keeps 3drinking3 and allo a sudden he lits it up and hal the bottle o milk pours outin an instant. ;e then continues to drink the rest. ;e then puts

the empty container down on the counter.

Phoebe: %checking her watch $ou did it

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The One Where Joey Speaks French