The Official Weekly Magazine of NAKID WEEKLYBREW · You may also be asked to head ref if there aren’t enough “vets” around to do it. This means you MUST read the rules. For

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00UT $4.50 ET $5.00 Do you have

Boomerang Bus Syndrome?

THEWEEKLYBREWTh e O f f i c i a l Week l y Maga z i n e o f NAK ID

Midseason Party May 15!

Sunday Week 4

A Brew Whore speaks!

The Weekly Brew Spring 2010 - Week 4

NAKID - Sunday May 7, 2010 • 1

SWELTERING, humid temperatures (and perhaps Boomerang Bus hangovers?) encouraged some people to go home early,

but other kickballers closed down the bars on Sunday night! Sombreros, puff paint, and ties decorated the scene as general merriment (and ohmigod, I’m not getting close enough to make out with anyone; it’s too freaking hot!) dominated the mood. It’s only May, though, and bound to get hotter, so don’t let the heat keep you from your appointed task: to have tons of fun at kickball! If you go home early, the terrorists win!

This week Mike Lacy talks with a Brew Whore, and you all get a heads up on a new disease spreading

Kickballers melt, but reanimate at the barsthrough NAKID faster than the colds that seem to go around so often: Boomerang Bus Syndrome. At least it’s only temporary, unlike the beer that is ever-present on the bus!

The Brew has a quick reminder for everyone: While we are at our sponsor bars so much that they feel like home, we have to remember they aren’t—they’re businesses that rely on us to stay afloat. Please do not bring in outside alcohol to the bars. Have some cold Coors Light instead!

Read on for information on our upcoming events, and see what this week’s flip cup rankings look like!



report the game score to Dave Whalen, and all the refs need to pick up the field equipment and take it to Dave’s container! Then you go to MBP and have free beer. Simple? Yeah, we think so, too.

ASKNAKID ?Each week we will provide the answers to your most burning questions. Best one of the week wins a free pitcher of beer. Please send questions to [email protected].

Is cannibalism still practiced anywhere in

the world?We’ll assume you mean the ritual eating of human beings—not the band. (Remember “She Drives Me Crazy”? That song jammed!) Anyway, Daniel Diehl, coauthor of Eat Thy Neighbour, was able to list plenty of recent cases of cannibalism. “As late as the early 20th century, a member of the Dieri tribe of Australia was quoted discussing a funeral act of cannibalism,” Diehl begins. “In the 1950s, tribesmen of Papua New Guinea not only ate their dead enemies but even taunted the victims’ families about it.” While this case was 60 years ago, Diehl says, “Today, in parts of Africa, there are continuing accounts of insurgent armies eating their enemies to dehumanize their opposition.” So no nice Chianti, then?

?

Is it true that only two people know the Coke

formula?According to Coca-Cola spokeswoman Kerry Kerr, “Only a small, select number of people” know the formula. That’s as specific as she would get. Head honcho Ernest Woodruff reportedly instituted the rule in 1925—mostly for show—that only two executives can know the formula. (Not counting all the people on the factory floors.) So while the number is definitely

?

I’m reffing. What do I do?

When you get to the fields you’ll be sent to whatever game needs a ref. You may also be asked to head ref if there aren’t enough “vets” around to do it. This means you MUST read the rules. For the most part, they’re easy (baseball rules), but when you’re unprepared you WILL be faced with a controversial call and people will argue, so it’s a good idea to know what you’re talking about. If you’re not head ref, your job is to stand at a base and call people out or safe. You are crucial at these bases, because the head ref often cannot see them clearly and will rely on your call. At the end of the game, the head ref must

?

higher than two, all this mystery may be for naught, as many experts believe the formula published in 1993’s “For God, Country & Coca-Cola” is legit: two parts high-fructose corn syrup, one part eye of newt. Refreshing!



SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT

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Week 5 Games

Week 5 Games

Movie Night: Robin Hood

Week 5 Games

Caddies on Cordell Happy Hour!

Week 5 Games

Spring Midseason Party!

16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Week 6 Games

Week 6 Games

Week 6 Games

Week 6 Games

Movie Night: MacGruber

Boomerang Bus to Wine Fest! Unlimited wine-tasting and a sober ride home!

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Week 7 Games

Week 7 Games

Week 7 Games

Week 7 Games

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NO SUNDAY GAMES!!

Memorial Day! Week 8 Games

Week 8 Games

Week 8 Games

DC United Tailgate and Field Day! Kegs, hamburgers, soccer, and beer sports!

N A K I D E V E N T S

http://www.meetup.com/nakidkickball






Andy D., Morally CasualAndy Dykes takes it for the second week in a row! Unfortunately, the Brewer’s memory card (on her camera) ran out before he took shots with the bartenders and she somehow missed it when girls were “reeling him in” with his tie to make out with him. However, he was clearly very drunk and was one of the last people at the bar (the Brew would say one of the last people standing, but reference this photo with Daniel. He wasn’t always standing!). Congrats, Andy!

Congrats, Andy! This season LOTWs not only get the NAKID Lush bandana to proudly wear during games, at the bar, or whenever else they want, they also win two passes on the Boomerang Bus!

Disappointed you didn’t get a Boomerang pass? Well, every NAKID gets 20 percent off any Boomerang Bus trip. You will need the promo code, so please contact the Weekly Brew at [email protected] for that. Check out the Boomerang and its trips at www.ridetheboomerang.com.

Please don’t get alcohol poisoning trying to win LOTW. The Brewers would like to encourage you to drink responsibly!

http://www.ridetheboomerang.com



FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? To meet people2. What’s the most extreme thing you’d do for $1,000? Let someone shoot an apple off my head3. What is your best NAKID moment? Dancing with Lacy while she was singing karaoke4. What fictional character are you most attracted to? Jessica Rabbit5. Cup size? Jumbo slice

Chris,Irish Woody

Chris

A public health announcement from NAKID:Boomerang Bus Syndrome, aka Drinkus Inexcessus, commonly known as “bus boozing” - Topic OverviewCommon symptoms of Boomerang Bus Syndrome include:

credit card entries from places with names like “Looney’s”hooking up with someone (most often someone you have never met before or an ex)possibly an STD from the previous symptom See also: AIDS, herpes, crabs.severe bruisingcutsblackoutsmockery from others about things you don’t recalllosing items such as credit cards or sunglassesgibberish textinggibberish phone callsstrange search history in portable devicesevere hangover the day after going on boomerang busothers being mad at you/ in love with you the next dayconfusionfar too much money spent at bars

Most cases of Boomerang Bus Syndrome are caused by:Boarding a Boomerang Bus and asking for a beer

Prevention: Don’t go on Boomerang Bus. Drink lots of water if you must.Treatment: Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Boomerang Bus syndrome. There are treatments for some of the symptoms, but a cure for the syndrome itself has not been found.



FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? To expand my group of friends2. What’s the most extreme thing you’d do for $1,000? Run naked through the National Mall3. What is your best NAKID moment? Being totally not awesome at flip cup.4. What fictional character are you most attracted to? Edward Cullen5. Cup size? Large-er

Moira, Morally Casual

Moira

Caddies on Cordell Happy Hour!More booze, please!

Wednesday, May 12, 6 p.m.Join us for a nice little mid-week happy hour at a really awesome place, Caddies on

Cordell! Caddies is a two-level sports bar with tons of tvs and the largest patio in Bethesda. Wednesday happy hour specials include:

All Day Specials:Rail Drinks $5.00Bucket Specials - 5 Bottles of Non-Premium Beer for $12.00Bucket Specials - 5 Bottles of Premium Beer for $15.00Non Premium Pints $3.00Premium Pints $5.00All “BOMB” drinks (car, jager, cherry, etc) $5.00

Specials from 4PM – 7PMAll Appetizers are ½ priceBLUE MOON, STELLA, and BASS drafts for $3.00

We’ll start our formal happy hour at 6pm, but feel free to show up earlier!



Kickball Ramblings

Mike Lacy’s

Those of you who have read the Weekly Brew for the past few seasons will have noticed that certain people seem to appear in multiple pictures in every issue. It isn’t just a coincidence. These people actively seek out exposure in the Brew, and appropriately enough, refer to themselves as the Brew Whores.

But who are these Brew Whores and what is their story? To try and learn more about them, I tracked down Kenna, one of the more prominent Brew Whores, and asked her a few questions.So who exactly are the Brew Whores?The Brew Whores are NAKIDs who love having their photo taken - whether or not the picture was intended to be taken of them - in the hope that their face will appear in the Weekly Brew!Who is in the core group of Brew Whores, and how did this group get together?The group originated in Fall 2009 with Matt Howard, Matt Pesesky, Elizabeth Shope and myself. After a couple nights at the bar we discovered Danielle, who we called the “Brew Lady,” was taking pictures. We asked

her to take a picture of us and the following week we made it on the cover of The Weekly Brew. It became an obsession and the rest is history!

Do you go out of your way to find the camera, or does the camera find you?

Both! The camera always seems to find us but I have to admit we’ve gone of multiple excursions to find the “Brew Lady”Have you received any animosity or jealousy from anyone in the league?

Anyone who wonders “Why are the same people in the Weekly Brew every week?”No, I know I never have. Everyone loves the Brew Whores! We get along with everyone and love taking pictures with new people! (Key word: with)

Interview with a Brew Whore



Do you ever worry that the wrong person (family, bosses) will come across the Brew and see you doing something they might consider inappropriate?Personally, no. Everyone at my work knows me and all about my kickball league. I tend to talk about it a lot! Although I had to explain to my father that I am actually not a whore.Any advice for any aspiring Brew Whores out there?Never be afraid to draw attention to yourself and if you see a camera, SMILE, you might

just be the next face of The Weekly Brew.

Kickball haiku!

The sun is shiningAnd kickballs are flying farCan you make the catch?

Random Piece of Advice: Beware of large breasted personal trainers

Link that may (or may not) be porn: http://tinyurl.com/mvc5bq

Power Rankings: Nastassia W, Jay N, Bryan K, Laura B, Noah C

Free NAKID Movie Screenings!NAKID receives free screener tickets to movies before they come out, so go to the Meetup site and RSVP! The movies start at 7:30, but we recommend getting to the theater between 5:30 and 6:30. Other groups also get passes, so the earlier you get to the theater, the more likely it is you will get in to see the movie. Please remember that entry is not guaranteed! Upcoming movies:

Tuesday, May 11, at 7:30pm at AMC Mazza Gallerie:

Robin Hood

Thursday, May 20, at 9pm at AMC Mazza Gallerie:

MacGruber




GameRECAPS

Holy guacamole, it was hot out this week! Here’s how you all did, despite melting a little bit:

In the early games, Tar-heeled Kickballers absolutely destroyed Sex Panthers, in a 20–0 blow-out! Booze on First also had a big win over Paratroop, winning 16–3. Flipadelphia and Ballsagna played to an 8–8 tie, while MMFos took down WAD, 7–1. I’m With Coco fell to Midgets in Action, 8–3, and The Guards beat up on

Harmless Puppies (again with beating the puppies?), winning 16–4.

In the late games, Neuticals won a low-scoring game against Xtacles, 3–1, while Chuggernauts ran all over Rural Jurors, winning 12–4. DC Hoos had another win over Green Monsters, 8–3, and I’d Kick That squeaked by Just Beans, 8–6. Don’t Run...Just Take It! had a tie game with Alcoholkicks, 2–2, and finally, SMAC had a big win over Barry’s Ballerz, winning 14–2. Here’s next week’s schedule:

FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? I have a deep seated love for nudity and joined before I knew it was a kickball league.2. What’s the most extreme thing you’d do for $1,000? Two chicks at the same time3. What is your best NAKID moment? Robbing a bank bc of the shocked and awed expressions on the female customers4. What fictional character are you most attracted to? The question’s too challenging bc I just read dictionaries & encyclopedias, occasionally a thesaurus for variety.5. Cup size? Big Gulp, beyotch

Dan, Green Monsters

Dan

Early SundayWeapons of Ass Destruction v. Premature Inebriation 3:00 PMIrish Woody v. The Guards 3:00 PMMidgets in Action v. Tar-heeled Kickballers 3:00 PMBallsagna v. MMofos 3:00 PMSex Panther v. Chaos 3:00 PMParatroop v. Harmless Puppies 3:00 PMReferees: Booze On First & Flipadelphia 3:00 PMReferees: Im With Coco 3:00 PMLate SundayXtacles v. Just Beans 4:00 PMSMAC v. Morally Casual 4:00 PMNeuticals v. Hung Jury 4:00 PMDont Run... Just Take It! v. Green Monsters 4:00 PMBarrys Ballerz v. Chuggernauts 4:00 PMAngry Dragons v. Alcoholkicks 4:00 PMReferees: The Rural Jurors & DC Hoos 4:00 PMReferees: Id Kick That 4:00 PM



The Weekly Brew

1) Premature Inebriation – What do you mean by premature, before 5 o’clock, before getting to the bar? Either way, the Brew approves of inebriation. *insert Brew stamp of approval*2) Midgets in Action – Who doesn’t love a midget? *insert Chelsea Handler stamp of approval*3) Neuticals – The Sunday Brew reporter found out what this team name means this weekend. Google it. It’s awesome.4) Hung Jury – We are assuming that “hung” is meant to be a double entendre. Double entendres are always the best.5) Ballsagna – This sounds like a word that you might find in urbandictionary.com that means something really disgusting, like the same thing as shmegma. That’s actually what I thought of when I first saw this word. Normally, that would be an automatic low ranking, but it’s just so inventive of a name!6) Chuggernauts – Oh, yes! I think I saw a special on the Discovery channel about them; they explore the world of chugging. Awesome!

OOh Magic 8-Ball, what’s the meaning of life?Magic 8-Ball says “Your mother’s a whore.”The 8-Ball doesn’t sound like it’s in the best of moods, so once again it’s going by team name (though not as judged by the lame-o):

7) Booze on First – Drinking is often confusing enough without adding in a confusing little Abbott and Costello joke, but the pun is fun.8) Weapons of Ass Destruction – This sounds almost illegal. Which means the team is probably really fun. Plus, you have a cool flag!9) Sex Panther – This sounds like another phrase that should be in urbandictionary. If someone called me a “Sex Panther,” I would take it as a compliment.10) Xtacles - Apparently, the first half of this team name was rated too high to say. Awesome!11) Irish Woody – I mean, this sounds like ANOTHER urbandictionary phrase. Like, “Well, yeah, she wasn’t going to go home with me, but then I gave her the Irish Woody, and no girl can resist that.”12) MMMofos – I kind of feel like with a name like that, you might kick my bbbutt if I ranked you any lower.13) (M)orally Casual – I mean, most people in NAKID should probably be on this team, right? How many people in NAKID aren’t casual with their morals?14) SMAC – only this high because I assume SMAC is an acronym for SO MUCH ALCOHOL CONSUMED15) Green Monsters – Ok, fine, Red Sox reference, whatev, but if you like the Patriots too, I’ll rank you last next time.16) Harmless Puppies – I mean, they are PUPPIES! and HARMLESS! They’d be ranked higher if I didn’t get scratched under the eye when I was a child by a mother poodle of new puppies.17) I’m with Coco – I really like Letterman, actually, but Conan is much better than Jay.18) Paratroop – Paratroopers do have really cool jobs, but I fail to understand how parachutes help you win flipcup.



19) Dont Run... Just Take It! – I don’t even know what this means.20) Chaos – Nothing about the spelling of this word makes sense other than the s. Therefore, you must be ranked lowly.21) The Guards – I’m assuming you are lifeguards. I can’t swim so you may have to save my life someday, but until then, I hold a grudge against the lifeguard who LAUGHED at me instead of saving my life when I almost drowned in 4 feet of water despite being over 5 feet tall.22) Angry Dragons – Why are you so angry? I like friendly dragons, but I don’t really like angry ones. Like Puff the Magic Dragon or Norbert from Harry Potter.23) Flipadelphia – I hear I’d like “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” but due to Comcast’s suckiness, I can’t see it. Your team name reminds me of this.24) I’d Kick That – As I write this, I have many bruises from the Boomerang bus day and I’m unsure why. Did you kick me? I bet so. Fail.

25) DC Hoos – My favorite Senator went to law school at UVA! However, because SO MANY Senators have gone to law school there, I wouldn’t have been able to get into UVA law with my LSAT score and I decided to join kickball instead. Boo for not increasing my income!26) The Rural Jurors – Yeah, I know it’s a 30 Rock reference, but it is so hard to say!27) Barrys Ballerz – The issue here is which Barry? Barry Manilow? Barry Obama? Barry Bonds? Barry Goldwater?28) Just Beans – Under what circumstance would you just choose beans over everything else? This seems impractical.29) Tarheeled Kickballers – I have had an issue with North Carolina since 1993 when I had Michigan in the 5th grade NCAA pool and North Carolina beat us in the basketball finals and I didn’t win whatever it was I was I would have won if Michigan had won.30) Alcoholkicks – It’s a TERRIBLE idea to kick the alcohol. It will probably spill.

Can we Boomerang to an AA meeting?

Nastassia, Irish Woody

There’s something

wrong with your crotch.

Nastassia, Irish Woody

She hasn’t hit me in the balls all day today.

Jeff, Morally Casual

Documents

The Official Weekly Magazine of NAKID WEEKLYBREW · You may also be asked to head ref if there aren’t enough “vets” around to do it. This means you MUST read the rules. For