The Ode of the Moderately-Competent Twitter-Activist

By Justin Escher Alpert

Good morning. Gosh, its early. The kids are still asleep.

Oh, what trouble may I get into this morning?

Open browser. Mail. Control-T. Facebook. Control-T. Twitter. Control-T. News.

Wait a second Coffee. Pod-Cup-Close-Button. Slurp.

Back to News.

Oh, this is interesting. This could change what they were talking about before. I could get in the middle of them. I could determine the outcome. The entire course of the Universe could change because of me.

Control-Shift-Tab.

Party A Party Beeeeee Welcome Meeeee, Party C Now we are three. Hmmn lets see

Have you considered this brilliant point in 144 characters?... And becomes &. in 142 characters?... They will becomes theyll. in 140 Characters? Yes. Re-read. Its good. Tweet.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Look at me! I get done more before sunrise than most people do aaaaall day. Im awesome.

Get fourth cup of coffee. Fourth cup? Really? Already? Howd that happen?!?

Wow. The time really flew. I hear the kids getting up now.

Quickly check Facebook.

Close laptop.

This job doesnt pay me nearly enough.