The Impact of Neglect and Abuse on Young Children¡Bienvenidos! Empezaremos en un momento Actividad...
49
¡Bienvenidos! Empezaremos en un momento Actividad de Apertura Por favor piense sobre alguna vez que realmente se haya divertido mucho con uno de sus hijos. ¿Qué fue lo que sintió en ese entonces? ¿Qué cree que sentía su hijo o hija? Early Start Plus
The Impact of Neglect and Abuse on Young Children¡Bienvenidos! Empezaremos en un momento Actividad de Apertura Por favor piense sobre alguna vez que realmente se haya divertido mucho
Actividad de Apertura Por favor piense sobre alguna vez que
realmente se haya divertido mucho con uno de sus hijos.
¿Qué fue lo que sintió en ese entonces? ¿Qué cree que sentía su hijo o hija?
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
This is used as a welcome slide so that as people arrive they begin thinking about what the meeting will be about. It is also something that they will have a chance to share later.
C o n s e j o s p r á c t i c o s p a ra a p o ya r u n d e s a r ro l l o e m o c i o n a l y s o c i a l s a l u d a b l e s.
Fa m i l y Re s o u rc e C e n t e rs N e t w o rk o f C a l i fo r n i a E a r l y S t a r t P l u s
( R e d d e C e n t r o s d e R e c u r s o s p a r a l a s F a m i l i a s d e E a r l y S t a r t P l u s d e C a l i f o r n i a )
Prevenir problemas de conducta a través de una
paternidad positiva
Presenter Name Will Go Here
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Welcome to Preventing Behavior Problems through Positive Parenting! We are so glad you are here with us. Introduce yourself briefly {NOTE TO TRAINER: Information in italics and brackets is intended for your information only, and is not intended to be part of the presentation. Please read the Trainer notes on this page and the next page for directions about use of the material. This PowerPointTM and accompanying notes were developed by Linda Brault for use in training and educational settings The content was reviewed and approved by the California Department of Developmental Services The information, as well as the website links, were accurate at the time of distribution Modification of the content on the actual slide is not permitted. Presenters my modify the trainer notes to match their style so long as the information does not conflict with the slide content. Users may add their agency logo and information to the PowerPoint and Handouts where indicated (such as above) Users are free to duplicate this material in its entirety, with appropriate credit, for educational purposes only}
Objetivos de la sesión
Early Start Plus
Proporcionar información sobre desarrollo social-emocional y sobre el comportamiento infantil.
Describir los consejos útiles para una paternidad positiva que ayude a apoyar un desarrollo social-emocional saludable y para prevenir un comportamiento problemático.
Compartir folletos, opciones y recursos locales en línea que pudieran ser útiles para ustedes como familiares.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Here is what we hope to accomplish during this session. {Read Goals} {Use of the Notes Pages The notes are included to provide clarification, additional information, and examples for those presenting this information to others. Presenters are encouraged to review the notes and background articles as they prepare to share the PowerPointTM slides. When sharing these slides with the audience, it is likely that questions will be raised that cannot be answered given the information contained in the notes. It would be helpful to have local resource information, including referrals, available for those who would like additional information or to address individual issues. While these slides present basic information and possible ideas for parenting, some individuals may have had different experiences personally. Presenters are encouraged to listen with empathy, yet reinforce that the slides represent an overview; and that individual experiences may vary. Presenters are welcome to add activities or information to the presentation that assist their audience in understanding and implementing the concepts. For example, having participants engage in a role play between parent and child can help provide some ideas for taking the ideas home.}
Expectativas comunes
Early Start Plus
Somos amigables y nobles Paso hacia delante/Paso atrás. No se salga del tema. Apoye al grupo.
Estamos seguros y saludables Póngase cómodo o cómoda.
Somos respetuosos La información compartida entre el grupo es
confidencial. Valore las ideas de todos y cada uno de nosotros. Apague o ponga su celular en modo silencioso
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Here are some expectations to help tonight go smoothly. We will talk more about Expectations later. I’ve listed some possible examples of ways that we will be friendly, respectful, and safe in this group. One that you may not be familiar with is “Step Up and Step Back. This is to help us ensure that everyone has a chance to talk during the sessions. In other words, if you find that you are doing a lot of sharing, it may be time for you to “step back” and let someone else “step up”. Is there anything else anyone would like to add?
Compartiendo el contenido de la actividad de apertura
Early Start Plus
Todo niño o niña necesita de
alguien que lo quiera con locura
—Urie Bronfenbrenner
Presenter
Presentation Notes
I hope you had a chance to think about our opening questions. {Opening activity Questions are repeated here} Please think of a time when you really had fun with one of your children What were you feeling then? What do you think your child was feeling? Would anyone like to share what you were feeling when you were having fun with your child? How about sharing how you think your child was feeling?� {Have people share some of what they were feeling, then some of what they think that their child was feeling.} {Click to reveal the quote} Listen to this quote “Every child needs one person who is crazy about him or her.” It is so important for every child to feel that someone enjoys him or her, has fun with them, and is “crazy” about them.
¿Qué es el desarrollosocial-emocional?
La habilidad de desarrollo y culturalmente apropiada para: Experimentar, expresar,
y manejar emociones. Entablar relaciones positivas positive and
y provechosas con otros.
California Infant/Toddler Learning and Development Foundations, 2009
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
This definition is taken straight from the California Infant Toddler Foundations because it is very simple and works across all ages. Social-emotional development = developmentally and culturally appropriate ability to: {Read Slide} While there is a hyphen between social and emotional, they are two separate areas of development. The first part is for emotional development. The second part is the social or relational piece. Those are things that we want to see in our children and in our young adults.
La palabra clave esdesarrollo
Las habilidades sociales y emocionales se desarrollan conforme van creciendo los niños.
Todo niño depende de relaciones seguras y que les respondan para desarrollarse en cualquier ámbito.
Las habilidades sociales y emocionales pudieran desarrollarse de formas diferentes y a ritmos distintos. Sin embargo, depende de las experiencias, las interacciones y de los adultos alrededor de cada niño.
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Just like any other part of development, social and emotional skills blossom over time as children age and grow. These skills will progress in different ways and at different rates, and this progress is highly influenced by the experiences and the interactions that we provide within the educational setting. What we do for and do with children helps them on that path to becoming the young adults that we want to see. All children depend on responsive, secure relationships in order to develop and learn in any domain, but this is especially true when it comes to social and emotional skills.
Todo sobre los niñosallaboutyoungchildren.org
D e s a r ro l l a d o p o r e l D e p t . d e E d u c a c i ó n d e C a l i f o r n i a
Contiene información y vídeos sobre todas las áreas de desarrollo como el
desarrollo social-emocional. ¡Se encuentra en ocho idiomas!
Early Start Plus
Recursos en línea para mayor información
Presenter
Presentation Notes
You can get information on all aspects of development on this helpful website. We will be sharing a handout on social-emotional development from that site with you. It is very important to understand what development of all kinds, including social and emotional skills, looks like in children so that we can have appropriate expectations for their abilities. We will talk more on this in a few minutes. {Share the appropriate age handout. You will need to download and print these handouts ahead of time. On the website, select the language for the materials, select the age range, select social-emotional development, in the upper right hand side of the section, select the Download a PDF version of this print resource.}
Los familiares usan lo que pueden controlar para criar a los niños y que contribuyan positivamente a la familia y a la comunidad.
La paternidad positiva se centra en criar ADULTOS, ¡no niños!
El ser positivo no quiere decir ser pelele o fácil de convencer.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Our focus for this session is to help you engage in Positive Parenting. This is a style of parenting that understands how to be clear and consistent; firm and kind. You may worry that by being positive we mean that you lose control of your children. Actually, today we will be focusing on what you CAN control so that you raise children with healthy social and emotional development into wonderful adults. Did you ever realize that we aren’t raising children, we are raising adults!
Alentadores y claros
Early Start Plus
La paternidad positiva se centra en: Mantenerse en calma y
reflexivos. Conectarse
profundamente con su hijo o hija.
Alentar el comportamiento que uno desea.
Establecer límites claros sin hacerlos sentir culpables y sin castigarlos.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
{NOTE: You may read slide content, particularly if you are concerned about literacy levels in the participants. You can also simply pull out one or two of these bullet points} There is a great deal of research that shows that these parenting practices will result in children who are well-behaved and accomplished at school. They tend to be emotionally healthy, resourceful, and socially-adept. – {The research is available at: http://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-styles.html#sthash.WyHQgCv8.dpuf} Many of the ideas in this workshop are grounded in ideas developed more fully by several current parenting “experts”. More information is provided on the Aha Parenting Website and books, or through Positive Discipline materials at the websites listed at the end of this presentation. {Note to presenter: Some of the information in your background materials can introduce you to some of the content.}
¿Qué es lo que los adultos pueden controlar?
Talvez queramos controlar a los niños pero en realidad no podemos.
Lo que PODEMOS controlar podría influenciar a los niños. Nuestro propio comportamiento. Nuestras interacciones con nuestros niños y otros
familiares. Las estrategias que podemos usar se basan en lo
que sabemos sobre nuestros hijos.
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
{Before clicking to show the first bullet point, have the participants do the following activity} Please work with one person (pairs) to do this activity. Please decide who is person A and who is person B Ok, person A, please make a fist and place your fist in front of person B. Person B, you have 15 seconds to open the fist of person A without harming them. Ready, set, go! {time the 15 seconds} Time is up! Was anyone successful? Who tried to use force?, What about tickling or some other distraction?, What about bribery: money, food, etc.? How many just asked person A to open his or her fist? {Click to show the first bullet} It is tempting to think we can control our children. After all, they are smaller than we are! But we can’t. {Click to show the second bullet, then read each one as you click} We need to focus on those things we CAN control: Our own behavior, our interactions, and strategies we can try
Las características que necesitamos
Ser cuidadores primarios consistentes, enriquecedores, cariñosos, emocionalmente receptivos.
Tener un entendimiento del desarrollo infantil y de cómo aprenden los niños.
Tener una idea del comportamiento de los niños como una expresión de cómo los niños hacen frente al mundo.
El aceptar la urgencia de las necesidades de los niños.
Ser cuidadores equilibrados emocionalmente, lo cual permite que los niños predigan nuestra conducta.
Poulsen, M. K., USC
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Dr. Marie Poulsen, a psychologist who has worked with children and families for many years lists some characteristics that are good for us to think about. Children respond best when we are consistent and respond to them emotionally Understanding how children learn and what they are able to do as they develop is important Behavior is communication, especially in young children. Sometimes we forget that they don’t see the world like we do. For them, everything is “right now”! We can acknowledge that, even if we can’t act on it. For example, when your child is saying “Look at this!” and you are in the middle of putting away groceries, you can say “I hear you! I know you want me to look at something. I’ll be there as soon as I finish.” We need to be sure that we are taking care of ourselves so that we can be emotionally balanced and predictable. It is confusing to children if one time we smile and respond, and the next time we ignore.
La jerarquía del desarrollo del cerebroCEREBRO SUPERIOR
Auto comprensiónLógicaToma de decisionesControl de impulsosRegulación del cuerpo y emociones(Habilidades de función ejecutiva)
PREENCÉFALOCórtex
“Centro Ejecutivo”
CEREBRO LÍMBICO“Centro Emocional”
METENCÉFALOCerebelo y tallo cerebral
“Centro de Alarmas”
CEREBRO INFERIORPelear, huir o congelarseApego emocionalMemoriaReactividad emocionalReacciones visceralesRegulación motrizEquilibrioLatidos del corazón/RespiraciónMotivaciónPresión arterialTemperatura corporal
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
To understand behavior, you need some basic knowledge of how the brain works. This is a rough diagram of what is in your brain’s various lobes and centers. The things that happen automatically like breathing and our emotional reactions all happen in what can be thought of as “the downstairs brain”. Our higher level thinking occurs in our “upstairs brain” with what is often called our “executive center”
Cerebro superior e inferior
Early Start Plus
El Dr. Dan Siegel concibió la idea de describir nuestro cerebro con una parte superior y una inferior.
La parte superior es donde se lleva a cabo nuestro pensar lógico y racional.
La parte inferior es donde: Nuestras reacciones emocionales y experiencias
suceden, nuestras respuestas como el pelear, huir o congelar.
Donde suceden nuestras actividades que sustentan la vida.No tenemos que pensar sobre nuestro respirar o el
palpitar de nuestro corazón.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Dr. Dan Siegel (http://www.drdansiegel.com/) has written some really good books for parents, including the Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline. He also has a great way to help us understand our brain. {Read the slide} What is interesting is that the upstairs brain is the last to develop. In fact, many of the important functions like impulse control, problem-solving etc. don’t fully develop until we are young adults in our mid-twenties Now I’m going to show you a video of Dr. Siegel using his “hand model of the brain” to help us understand how our brains work.
Representación con mano del cerebro
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
TEXT ON GRAPHIC: El destape de emociones (Representación con mano del cerebro) Cierre la mano en forma de puño con su dedo pulgar debajo de sus dedos. Este es el modelo de su cerebro. Dedo pulgar = mesencéfalo (Tallo cerebral y cerebro límbico) = cerebro emocional. Este es el lugar donde se desencadena el pelear, huir y congelarse. Dedos = corteza cerebral = el cerebro racional contiene nuestra capacidad para pensar y razonar. Uñas de los dedos = corteza prefrontal = solución de problemas Cuando algo nos altera , somos propensos a acelerarnos, lo cual quiere decir el córtex prefrontal (uñas de los dedos) tiene una conexión muy débil con el mesencéfalo (el dedo pulgar) y no somos capaces de acceder a la parte lógica, de solución de problemas de nuestro cerebro. Nuestras emociones sobrepasan nuestra habilidad para pensar claramente. —Dr. Dan Segal Figura 1. Una representación de nuestro cerebro. Figura 2. El destape de las emociones In a stressful situation {Give example like someone cutting you off on the freeway}, you flip your lid. {Flip fingers up} Meaning, the rational and logical part of the brain, in that stressful moment, disengages --You are not in your upstairs, thinking brain. You’re down here in the downstairs brain-- emotional center where you react strongly. When a child does something annoying, or something happens and you become upset, you flip your lid! And your child might be flipping their lid too! You need to RECONNECT {Close fingers back over} before you can access and process your knowledge and logic that is in this part, the upstairs brain.
Primero permanecer en calma
Early Start Plus
Cuando estamos calmados nuestro cerebro en su totalidad se encuentra listo para actuar.
Podemos actuar desde la parte superior de nuestro cerebro.
Cuando no estamos calmados tendemos a destaparnos o desencadenarnos y reaccionar desde la parte inferior nuestro cerebro.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
This explains why one of the best strategies we can use for changing our child’s behavior is Staying Calm ourselves!! {Read or discuss the points on the slide} Staying calm is not always easy, right?
¿Cuáles son sus desafíos?
Algunas formas de comportamiento nos irritan.
El comportamiento depende de la perspectiva con que se mire.
No a todos nos irrita lo mismo.
Piense sobre lo que le irrita y desarrolle ideas para ACTUAR en lugar REACCIONAR.
Early Start Plus
Elevator being repaired
Presenter
Presentation Notes
{Each bullet point appears with a click. The information below will help you talk about each one. Each bullet point accompanies the bullet point on the slide.} This photo is of an elevator that is out of service because it is being upgraded. But it does make us cranky when people push our buttons! We usually aren’t very calm then. And our children are especially good at it, right? We probably can all think of things our child does that push our buttons. But have you ever noticed that what bothers you isn’t even seen as a problem by someone else, even your spouse or close friend! It’s actually handy that we don’t all have the same buttons. We can help each other out when one of us flips our lid Figuring out what pushes our buttons can help us be ready when it happens so that we can take a deep breath and stay calm. Then we can act from our upstairs brain instead of reacting from the downstairs brain.
Paternidad positiva
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
TEXT ON GRAPHIC: ¿Buscas a quien echarle la culpa o buscas soluciones? Think about this statement. If you are looking for Blame, what part of your brain do you think you are in? {show hand with flipped lid} Yes, you are in your downstairs, emotional brain. As long as we focus on blame, we stay in that flipped lid state and can’t access our thinking brain. And that upstairs, thinking brain is where our solutions will be found! This is why getting calm and remaining calm is the most important first step.
Ocho consejos útiles para padres de pequeños con
comportamiento problemático
Early Start Plus
Folleto de Soluciones Positivas para las Familias
Presenter
Presentation Notes
The rest of this session is focused on some Positive Solutions that we can use to prevent problems from happening. These tips are great even if your child DOESN’T have challenging behavior. They are just really good, positive parenting strategies.
Soluciones positivas para las familias
Tips from the “Positive Solutions for Families”Brochure
Resource list at the end of this handout There are a number of wonderful websites filled with
good ideas There are many good books and workshops on
positive parenting and positive discipline
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
TEXT ON GRAPHIC: Consejos del folleto “Soluciones Positivas para las Familias”. Lista de recursos al final de este material informativo. Existen muchos sitios electrónicos con muchas ideas muy buenas. Existen muchos libros y talleres muy buenos sobre la paternidad positiva y la disciplina positiva. There are eight practical tips and we will explore them all. But there is always more to learn. Many helpful resources are on the internet and we have some listed at the end of this session. Do use the internet with caution, however. As I’m sure you know, things can look very “official” and really just be trying to sell something!
Consejo # 1: Mantenga sus expectativas realistas
Conozca y entienda las habilidades y limitaciones de sus hijos.
Aprenda el comportamiento y desarrollo normal en las diferentes edades.
Piense en cómo sus hijos actúan en situaciones similares.
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
One of the things that can really cause problems is having unrealistic expectations. You know your child best. If you know your child spends most of his time making loud noises, don’t expect him to be quiet in the restaurant. If your child loves throwing everything, she will throw grandma’s coasters. Use what you know about your child in similar situations. The website mentioned earlier – All About Young Children – can also provide some information about development. For example, babies can enjoy books, but they may enjoy them by chewing on them or ripping the paper pages. Find some books that are sturdy and save the more fragile books for a later time.
Consejo # 2: Planee con anterioridad
Early Start Plus
Planee antes para que sus hijos tengan éxito en el futuro.
Espere lo mejor pero planee como si fuera a pasar lo peor.
Los niños también son capaces de generar opciones e ideas que se pueden llevar a cabo.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
One great outcome of having realistic expectations is that you can plan ahead. So, if you know that your child is in a throwing stage, you can bring along lots of safe things to throw so that she might leave Grandma’s coasters alone. Have any of you had your children come up with an idea? Older children especially like to “plan ahead”. If you know that the dentist office often has a long wait, ask your child what things they would like to take along to stay entertained. Some families have created a special “traffic” bag that has some books that haven’t been read for a while, a puppet or two, and some snacks that come out only when there is a traffic delay.
Consejo # 3: Exprese claramente sus expectativas con anterioridad
Sus hijos no pueden leer su mente.
Diga a sus hijos lo que usted QUIERE que hagan.
En lugar de pensar en reglas, piense en lo que usted espera de ellos.
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Clearly state expectations for behavior in advance. This is such an important idea, we are going to spend some time on it. In a gift store, I overheard a parent of a young child saying, “That’s right. Hands in your pocket, look with your eyes.” as they walked by some very colorful figurines. By telling him what to do, he was able to follow through. She taught him that way of “looking with his eyes” when he was younger, and now she can rely on it. Think how much clearer that is then “Don’t Touch” And here is why {Next Slide}
¡Dime lo que debo de hacer!
Early Start Plus
Dígales a sus hijos lo que hagan en lugar de lo que no deben de hacer.
Los niños se concentran en las palabras más importantes e ignoran cuando usted les dice “no”, “no lo hagas”, “detente”.
Enséñele a sus hijos por medio de la demostración, modelando o al usar una imagen en acción.
Simple y claramente dígale a sus hijos lo que espera de ellos.
¡Lo siguiente es responder a sus acciones con cometarios y opiniones positivas!
Veremos un folleto más adelante.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Children focus on the main words when you give them a command. So if you say “don’t run in the STREET” they focus on STREET and may end up there. If you say “Stay on the SIDEWALK” you are more likely to have the child look up at you from the sidewalk! Other times, we tell our child what to do, but they don’t understand. Like the example of “looking with your eyes”. You might need to demonstrate how your hands are NOT INVOLVED in looking with your eyes. And if your child doesn’t have pockets, you can demonstrate (and say), “fold your hands, look with your eyes.” This is so important that there is a wonderful handout we are going to give you. It lists lots of things that parents (and teachers) sometimes say to NOT do, with alternative ways of telling the child what TO DO. It also has suggestions for following up with positive feedback when they do what you tell them to do! We will have a chance to work with it in a few minutes.
Expectativas de la conducta
Early Start Plus
Las expectativas también puede ser un buen marco para conductas que espera de todos en casa: Niños, jóvenes, padres y otros adultos.
Las expectativas comunes son: Somos respetuosos. Estamos seguros y saludables. Somos generosos. Contribuimos a la familia (nos ayudamos los unos a
los otros).
Las expectativas se llevan a cabo de diferentes formas en las distintas edades.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
The word Expectations is one that can be useful in other ways as well. If we think of expectations as the “why” behind the rules, it is nice to introduce those words and concepts to your children. We all probably have some rules in our homes. Can anyone tell me a rule at your house? {Take a few ideas and see if you can connect them to one of the Expectations below} If you asked your children what the rules are, could they tell you? Does everyone who lives in the house have the same rules? Probably not. We have found that most “rules” fall into one of these four categories. We are Respectful We are Safe and Healthy We are Kind We Contribute to the Family The nice thing about these expectations is that they work for everyone in the home: children, adults, teenagers, etc.
Las expectativas necesitan de ejemplos
Early Start Plus
Provea de ejemplos que sean positivos; qué es lo que ve cuando la conducta es la esperada.
Nuestra familia es amistosa y generosa. Deja que tu hermana lea también el libro. Ayuda a tu mami a poner la mesa.
Nuestra familia es respetuosa Pregunta antes de usar algo que le pertenece a alguien más.
Nuestra familia es segura y saludable Vete a dormir a la hora.
En nuestra familia nos ayudamos todos Ayudamos a limpiar nuestros juguetes.
¡Ahora es su oportunidad de pensar en algunos ejemplos!
Presenter
Presentation Notes
By introducing Expectations to your children, you can provide examples that are really similar to rules. Work with a partner to come up with an example or two for one of the Expectations. We’ve provided a couple of ideas for you. {Provide the handout which you can print on your own letter head. You can divide the group up and assign each small group one of the 4 expectations, or have pairs do the activity} Let’s hear a few of your examples. Think about how you can use expectations as a way of letting your child know what to do. Posting them at home with visuals really can be powerful.
Consejo # 4: Ofrezca opciones limitadas y razonables
Early Start Plus
Todo mundo aprecia el tener opciones.
El dar a los niños opciones evita las luchas por el poder.
Las opciones que se les den deben de ser limitadas (empiece por dos) y que sean verdaderas opciones. ¿Quieres tomar mi
mano derecha o la izquierda en el estacionamiento?
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Don’t we all appreciate choices? Think about what it would be like if you were never given a choice! Children have very little real power, yet starting with their first “NO” they get a little taste of power. If you give them opportunities to experience power by choosing whether to eat their broccoli or the applesauce first, you are satisfying that need to have power. Beware of the false choice! How many times have you found yourself saying “Do you want to come inside now?” when really, the child is going to need to come inside. This isn’t a real choice. Sometimes we state what we want “It’s time to come inside.” and then add “OK?” which again provides a false choice. If coming inside is not a choice, provide a clear statement and then you can offer a secondary choice. Such as “It’s time to come inside now. Do you want to carry in your toy cars or do you want me to carry them?”
Consejo # 5: Use palabras como cuando…entonces
Early Start Plus
Una palabra como cuando…entonces es una instrucción sencilla que les dice a sus hijos qué hacer para que obtengan el resultado deseado. CUANDO te pongas
los zapatos, sólo ENTONCES puedes jugar con Aldo.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Another good way to avoid power struggles are using “When…Then” statements. In these cases you can state something that your child has to do before he or she can do what he wants to do. This is done by stating the two things together in a very factual way. This is sometimes called a contingency statement. Doing the second, desireable task is dependent upon doing the first less desireable task. “When you have washed your hands, then you may eat the snack.” “When your pajamas are on, then we can read a story.” You can also use First...Then together when something is part of a schedule or routine. “First you will take a nap, then we can go to the park.”
Directrices para usar cuando/entonces
Early Start Plus
Cuando use palabras: cuando/entonces: Déle un enfoque positivo. Dígalo sólo una vez. Ponga un tiempo limite razonable. Asegúrese de que se lleva acabo. Esté preparado/a para lo que le responden sus
hijos, podría ser un “NO”.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
These guidelines are in the brochure to help you be successful with contingency statements. {Read the list} How to be respond to a no? Follow-through means that the second task doesn’t happen. “You didn’t put your jacket on, so we will stay inside.” Do not use this technique if the second task is not desired by the child. For example, “When your pajamas are on, then you can go to bed.” works only if your child loves going to bed! However “When your pajamas are on, then we can read a story.” holds out something more enjoyable, and something that is an option. For older children, you can offer the time limit with some information to help them understand “When your pajamas are on, then we can read a story. I’ll check back in five minutes so there will be enough time to read a story.” Be careful not to use If…Then statements. Those seem like you are negotiating. “If you put on your jacket, then you can go outside” is less clear than “When you put on your jacket, then you can go outside.”
Consejo # 6: Atrape a sus hijos cuando hacen algo bueno
Early Start Plus
Acepte y haga comentarios cuando sus hijos cumplen con sus expectativas, hacen lo que deben de hacer. Los dos están haciendo
dibujos juntos y comparte el mismo cuaderno. ¡Hacen un equipo fantástico!
Encuentre el momento para hacer comentarios positivos específicos y atentos al comportamiento que usted espera de sus hijos.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
How often do we find ourselves “looking for trouble”? When children act out or do something unacceptable, we are usually quick to comment. Sometimes, if your child has been too quiet you might suspect that he or she is doing something wrong. And yet, when they are doing “the right thing” and behaving well, we typically ignore them. One of the best ways to increase behavior is to notice it and comment on it. So if we do that with positive behavior, we will be happy to see more of that behavior. Children are not born knowing what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. When we notice and comment one it, using descriptive language, that really teaches them what behavior to use. In fact, Catching your child “being good” is a great way to change behavior!
¿Qué comportamiento queremos?
Early Start Plus
Si sus hijos se comportan de alguna o varias formas que no le gustan, escríbalas.
Ahora, piense cuidadosamente acerca de cómo quiere que sus hijos se comporten, en la misma situación y escríbalo.
¡Estos son los tipos de comportamiento que usted quiere que ellos tengan!
¡El hablar positivamente sobre los tipos de comportamiento que quiere es casi una manera “mágica” de que tengan una conducta apropiada!
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Now we are going to do an activity using the Handout “Catch Me Being Good”. This helps us to focus on what we want our child to do so that we can look for that behavior and comment on it. First, we will think of some behaviors your child may do that you do NOT want. Then you will need to think of a behavior that you would want to see instead. Let’s look at the next slide to see what I mean.
¡Atrápenme portándome bien!Conducta
ProblemáticaEl
comportamiento que usted
quiere
Qué decir cuando usted ve el comportamiento deseado
Reconocimiento descriptivo y positivo
Pegarle a la hermana
Jugarcooperando
• Estás jugando con tu hermana tan bonito. Le diste una vuelta en tu carro.
• Se ve que han encontrado la manera de que los dos quepan en el triciclo. A eso se le llama cooperación.
Correr por la casa con comida
Comer caminando o sentado
• Mira nada más sentadito mientras comes. Te ves muy bien y cómodo.
• Te llevaste el plato con comida desde la cocina hasta la mesa. ¡Y estas limpio!
Ella obtiene lo que quiere gritando
Ella le señala lo que quiere
• ¡Wow! Señalaste al refrigerador. Debes de querer algo de ahí dentro. Vamos a ver juntas lo que hay.
• Cuando levantas los brazos, sé que quieres que te abrace. ¡Eso es maravilloso!
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Here are some pretty common issues that come up and some ideas for the acceptable behavior you want instead. Notice that the behavior you want usually is something that is easy to see and probably happens occasionally. {Read the examples} Now that you have a desired behavior to be looking for, you want to “catch them being good”! This is when you want to comment and acknowledge the desired behavior.
Mejor dime qué hacer
Hay algunas ideas para el comportamiento deseado en el folleto: “Mejor dime qué hacer”.
Trabaje con alguna otra persona y vean si los dos pueden: Exhibir un comportamiento
desafiante. Comportarse como ustedes
quisieran que se comporten sus hijos.
Desarrollar formas de cómo reconocer ese comportamiento apropiado que ustedes quieren ver en sus hijos.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Now we can try doing this yourself! Think about one behavior that is challenging. You can look at the “Tell Me What To Do Instead” handout for some ideas of positive behavior you want to see. That handout also has some ideas for how to provide Positive Descriptive Acknowledgement when you see the desired behavior happening. {Give the group a few minutes to work. Have a couple of partners share. Sometimes people can think of the challenging behavior (throwing blocks), but their only idea for desired behavior is an absence of that behavior (don’t throw blocks). That response isn’t as useful for this activity. If time, maybe people could think of alternative behaviors if someone is unable to.}
Ser deliberados
Early Start Plus
Concéntrese en que quiere que sus hijos hagan. Reconozca e fomente ese comportamiento en ellos. El elogiar a alguien es bueno ocasionalmente, sin
embrago, tiende a incrementar la motivación externa. ¡Me hace sentir feliz cuando compartes tus juguetes
con tu hermanita! ¡Eres un hermano mayor fantástico!
El reconocer y el alentar desarrollan la motivación interna. ¡Estas realmente haciendo un gran esfuerzo para compartir
con tu hermanita! ¡Eres un hermano mayor fantástico¡
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Catching your child being good is something new for many of us. It is really powerful! In fact, it’s as close to “magic” as you might be able to find! It’s about being intentional. Ok, everyone please close your eyes. Now, without opening your eyes, point to someone in the room who is wearing red. {or some other bright color if no one is wearing red}. Now, open your eyes and see if you were right. Ok, close your eyes again. Point to someone in the room who is wearing…{pause a short time} red! {say the same color as before}. It was much easier this time, wasn’t it? All because you knew what you were looking for! You might have been able to point to a few other colors as well. Being intentional and acknowledging your child’s appropriate behavior will influence them much more than correcting them or commenting on what they shouldn’t be doing. {Read the praise and acknowledgement bullets} See how you can say the same thing, but give more of the credit to the child? Research shows that this type of commenting is very helpful in changing behavior and helping children learn. {There is another page of notes that is optional with the same slide showing}
Ser deliberados
Early Start Plus
Concéntrese en lo que quiere que sus hijos hagan. Reconozca e fomente ese comportamiento en ellos. El elogiar a alguien es bueno ocasionalmente, sin
embrago, tiende a incrementar la motivación externa. ¡Me hace sentir feliz cuando compartes tus juguetes
con tu hermanita! ¡Eres un hermano mayor fantástico!
El reconocer y el alentar desarrollan la motivación interna. ¡Estas realmente haciendo un gran esfuerzo para compartir
con tu hermanita! ¡Eres un hermano mayor fantástico!
Presenter
Presentation Notes
{This next part of the script below does a bit more to explain the Positive Descriptive Acknowledgement. If you do not feel as though you have enough information to share this technique, you may skip this part and hide this slide.} You will notice that we don’t use typical “Praise” like “Good Job!” or “I like the way you did that”. Praise puts the focus on us. How many of you drive differently when you see a highway patrol on the road? Well, we don’t want to be the highway patrol for our children. We want them to think for themselves. That is why we emphasize the tool of Positive Descriptive Acknowledgement. It puts the focus on exactly what the child is doing and becomes their internal voice. So instead of thinking “I’m a good job!” which means nothing, they think “I know how to share. I’m a terrific big brother.” So think of praise like a sprinkle of sugar. Good occasionally, but not as healthy!
Usando comentarios y estímulos positivos
Usted también puede usar comentarios positivos y motivaciones no verbales. Usted puede desarrollar una seña especial si sus hijos
necesitan mucho estímulo.
Individualice el uso positivo de comentarios y estímulos en base a las necesidades y preferencias de sus hijos. Algunos niños prefieren estímulos discretos y sutiles.
Invite a todos en la familia a usar comentarios y estímulos positivos. Los niños pueden aprender a elogiar (¡y lo disfrutan!)
Early Start Plus
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Words are not the only way to encourage your child. In fact, if your child is aware of his or her challenging behavior and is struggling to change, you might want to set up a signal so that you can give encouragement where ever you are and what ever he or she is doing. A child who often grabs toys from a younger sibling is really trying to use words or trade instead. Let her know that you have noticed how hard she is working and when you see her using words and asking for trades, you will give her a thumbs up. Then be watching carefully so that you can “catch her being good”. One mother noticed that her 4 year-old, who spent much of his time “tattling” on his 5 year-old brother really changed once she was focused on commenting on and noticing appropriate behavior. She realized that the 4 year-old had only been telling her what he thought was important – all of the negative behavior she usually noticed and commented on. Since shifting to noticing the positive behavior, that was what he noticed and told her too!
Haciendo depósitos emocionales
Early Start Plus
Piense en uno de sus hijos abrazando un puerquito de ahorros muy grande.
¡Cada una de las interacciones positivas es como el hacer un depósito emocional en el banco!
Necesitamos muchos depósitos antes de que podamos hacer algún retiro.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Part of Positive Parenting is paying attention to your child’s emotional/attentional piggy bank. If you imagine that your child has a large piggy bank an his or her chest, you can be reminded to keep making deposits. The fuller your child’s bank, the easier it will be when you have to ask her to do something more difficult, like coming to dinner when she is in the middle of playing, or to wait quietly while you finish talking on the phone. Children really respond so well to our time and attention. In fact, that is the one thing they want the most! That is because children’s brains NEED adult attention and interaction in order to grow and learn. You could say that getting our attention IS THEIR JOB! So, if we can give more attention to them when things are calm and going well, they may have enough deposits to handle the times that we can’t give them the attention.
Haciendo depósitos en el hogar
Early Start Plus
Usted puede desarrollar una actividad, especialmente con los niños mayores.
Decore su bolsa de almuerzo y tiras de papel que usted puede usar para hacer depósitos emocionales.
En el papel puede escribir el nombre de la persona, sus elogios, estímulos, las cosas que aprecia de la persona en su familia.
Deje que su hijo o hija dibuje o le dicte los suyos a un niño mayor o una persona adulta.
¡Ponga el papel en la bolsa y léalos una vez a la semana (o más seguido) en la cena o el desayuno!
Presenter
Presentation Notes
This can be a fun activity to make the idea of “deposits” more visible. {Read the activity} What is important to remember is that children really don’t need “stuff” like toys or stickers for deposits. They need positive attention and interaction with you!
Consejo # 7: Mantenga la calma
Early Start Plus
Recuerde que sus hijos pueden llegar a irritarle. ¡No pierda los estribos!
Mientras su hijo o hija pierda más el control , usted tiene que exhibir un mayor control.
Necesitamos cuidarnos a nosotros mismos para que podamos permanecer calmados y ayudar al retorno de nuestros hijos a un comportamiento apropiado.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
It’s funny that this Tip is #7, since this is probably the most important tip! Staying calm is so easy when you are well-rested, not in a hurry, and feeling good yourself. That isn’t always the case, right? It can be really helpful to find a few things you can do to “get calm” when needed. Some people take a couple of really deep breaths, count to 10, and aome find a saying they can repeat to themselves (like “I’m the adult, I can do this” or “Step away from the edge…get calm”), or other strategies. Deep breaths are a great strategy, as it brings oxygen to the brain which helps us keep from “flipping our lid”. Let’s try that one, shall we? Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose, now breath out through your mouth. Again, in through your nose, out through your mouth. How do you feel? It is calming, isn’t it? What ever strategy you try, practice it when things are going well so that you have gotten good at it when you need it!
Consejo # 8: Use el tiempo neutral
Early Start Plus
Busque el tiempo neutral, “momentos aleccionadores”antes o después de un problema.
Cuando nosotros (niños o adultos) estamos en “la sección emocional” en la parte inferior del cerebro y no somos capaces de resolver problemas o actuar de una manera más madura o apropiada.
Ayude a sus hijos a reflexionar. Cuando algo anda mal, pregunte: “Qué puedes hacer diferente la próxima vez?
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Finally, the same concept of practicing when you don’t need the skill is true with children as well. If you are trying to help your child learn how to be gentle with the new kitten, it is easier to practice gentle touches on a stuffed animal or even on your arm. With practice during that “neutral time” your child will be in the thinking part of his brain, and be able to take in the information. Then, when the real kitten is there and the excitement creates a little of a flipped lid moment, he can reconnect to his experiences and practice in his “upstairs” brain.
Ideas para los próximos pasos
Early Start Plus
Obteniendo apoyo cuando le preocupa el comportamiento de
sus hijos
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Some of you may have questions about your child’s specific behavior. Others may simply want more information. I am going to share a few ideas for next steps and can certainly talk with any of you individually if you would like following the session. {If you offer additional support for children with challenging behavior, you can be sure to include that information here.}
Para niños con un IFSP
Early Start Plus
Si su hijo o hija tiene un Plan de Servicio Familiar Individualizado (IFSP) o un Plan de Educación Individualizada (IEP), usted puede preguntar a su coordinador de servicios para que le ayude a encontrar la evaluación e intervención por el comportamiento problemático.
A usted le podrían ofrecer servicios a través de IFSP, proporcionados por alguien de una agencia, un centro regional o un programa para niños, que trabaja para su familia actualmente.
Su hijo o hija podría no calificar o reunir los requisitos para servicios especializados en el área social-emocional.
Este Centro de Recursos para la Familia también puede ayudar.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
Some of your children may be receiving services through Early Start {or what ever early intervention services are called in your area} in which case you have an IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan). For children over age 3 years, the plan is known as an IEP (Individual Education Plan). If you have concerns about your child’s behavior, you can ask your service coordinator to help you find assessment and possible intervention for the behavior. If your child qualifies, he or she may be offered services as part of the IFSP or IEP. Sometimes your child may not qualify for services, but you would still like some support.
Cómo obtener ayuda fuera de un IFSP
Early Start Plus
Si su hijo o hija no reúne los requisitos para obtener servicios para un mejor comportamiento o desarrollo social-emocional, hay otras opciones a explorar. Los seguros privados pudieran ofrecer apoyo a servicios
para mejorar el comportamiento, sicológicos o psiquiátricos.
Muchas comunidades cuentan con asesores de salud mental infantil que podrían ayudar con servicios a familias y niños, muchas veces en guarderías para niños y oficinas de desarrollo.
Quizá haya grupos de apoyo y de educación para padres de familia que ofrezcan ayuda en la crianza de niños con comportamiento problemático.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
There are other possibilities. {This is the time to have information about services in your community.}
Recursos locales
Early Start Plus
Este es el punto donde los coordinadores de recursos para la familia (FRC) podrían agregar recursos locales específicos.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
{You can add in local resources here.}
Aprendiendo más sobre el temperamento
Early Start Plus
Un área a explorar es el temperamento de los niños.
Las particularidades de los temperamentos muchas veces pueden ayudarle a entender qué es lo que está haciendo que sus hijos se porten mal y de cómo podría hacer que esto chocara con su temperamento.
Existen varios recursos en línea y algunos libros que le pueden ayudar a aprender más acerca de lo anterior.
Temperament Traits are things that each of us are born with like activity level, intensity of reaction, biological rhythms and so on. These traits really influence the behaviors we have. For example, those of you with a highly active temperament trait probably have figured out ways to sit in meetings like this one by wiggling your foot, chewing gum, doodling, or some other movement activity. Young children with an active temperament will just get up and run around! They haven’t learned how to manage these internal messages. There was a study done several years ago that compared parents concerns about behavior in their children when they had been educated about Temperament and when they did not receive this information. The findings were clear. Parents who understood temperament had many fewer concerns and complaints about their child’s behavior! Especially when they understood how their temperament interacted with that of the child. This is an area with many resources you can access right away! {If you have internet, you may want to show some of the websites, share some of the booklets, or books. Offering a class for families on temperament is a good next step also.}
Existe un folleto que se encuentra diseñado para ayudar a las familias que elijen cuidado de niños en guarderías cuando sus hijos tienen comportamientos problemáticos.
Existen consejos de qué es lo se debe buscar en la gente, el trabajo y el programa.
Presenter
Presentation Notes
TEXT ON GRAPHIC: Manéjese con cuidado: El elegir el cuidad de niños en guarderías cuando los hijos tienen un comportamiento problemático. One parent put together a brochure that some family members may find helpful when seeking child care for a child with some behavior challenges, even if they are mainly driven by temperament!
Las palabras rigen nuestras vidas
Early Start Plus
Lo cierto es que cualquier forma de pensar sobre la paternidad, por lo menos en mi mente, es la realización
de que no hay una manera que podamos decir es la correcta de criar a los hijos. Los niños son únicos, las
experiencias y los valores son muy distintos uno del otro y las personas que se unen para criar a los hijos
desarrollan un ambiente muy particular. Es el momento de darse cuenta de que la paternidad
consiste en tener un poco de sentido común, un poco de flexibilidad y cierto sentido del humor para mantener que todo funcione, lo mismo que ir acumulando todo conforme uno avanza y sin perder la esperanza en un
By now you have probably figured out that parenting is not a simple task. Let me read you this quote {Read the quote} There are MANY right ways to parent, and I hope that you have some ideas to take home to help you have more fun and more positive experiences with your child!
Sitios electrónicos conectan a la información, libros y recursos
Early Start Plus
Aha Parenting “Paternidad Aha” (Laura Markham)www.ahaparenting.com
