TheHauntingofHillHouse

By

ShirleyJackson

-Contents-

Chapter1

1-2

1-3

1-4

1-5

Chapter2

2-2

Chapter3

3-2

3-3

3-4

3-5

Chapter4

4-2

4-3

4-4

4-5

4-6

Chapter5

5-2

5-3

5-4

Chapter6

6-2

6-3

Chapter7

7-2

7-3

7-4

Chapter8

8-2

8-3

8-4

8-5

8-6

8-7

8-8

Chapter9

9-2

9-3

9-4

Chapter1Noliveorganismcancontinueforlongtoexistsanelyunderconditionsof

absolutereality;evenlarksandkatydidsaresupposed,bysome,todream.HillHouse,notsane,stoodbyitselfagainstitshills,holdingdarknesswithin;ithadstoodsoforeightyyearsandmightstandforeightymore.Within,wallscontinuedupright,bricksmetneatly,floorswerefirm,anddoorsweresensiblyshut;silencelaysteadilyagainstthewoodandstoneofHillHouse,andwhateverwalkedthere,walkedalone.

Dr.JohnMontaguewasadoctorofphilosophy;hehadtakenhisdegreeinanthropology,feelingobscurelythatinthisfieldhemightcomeclosesttohistruevocation,theanalysisofsupernaturalmanifestations.Hewasscrupulousabouttheuseofhistitlebecause,hisinvestigationsbeingsoutterlyunscientific,hehopedtoborrowanairofrespectability,evenscholarlyauthority,fromhiseducation.Ithadcosthimagooddeal,inmoneyandpride,sincehewasnotabeggingman,torentHillHouseforthreemonths,butheexpectedabsolutelytobecompensatedforhispainsbythesensationfollowinguponthepublicationofhisdefinitiveworkonthecausesandeffectsofpsychicdisturbancesinahousecommonlyknownas"haunted."Hehadbeenlookingforanhonestlyhauntedhouseallhislife.WhenheheardofHillHousehehadbeenatfirstdoubtful,thenhopeful,thenindefatigable;hewasnotthemantoletgoofHillHouseoncehehadfoundit.

Dr.Montague'sintentionswithregardtoHillHousederivedfromthemethodsoftheintrepidnineteenth-centuryghosthunters;hewasgoingtogoandliveinHillHouseandseewhathappenedthere.Itwashisintention,atfirst,tofollowtheexampleoftheanonymousLadywhowenttostayatBallechinHouseandranasummer-longhousepartyforskepticsandbelievers,withcroquetandghost-watchingastheoutstandingattractions,butskeptics,believers,andgoodcroquetplayersarehardertocomebytoday;

Dr.Montaguewasforcedtoengageassistants.PerhapstheleisurelywaysofVictorianlifelentthemselvesmoreagreeablytothedevicesofpsychicinvestigation,orperhapsthepainstakingdocumentationofphenomenahaslargelygoneoutasameansofdeterminingactuality;atanyrate,Dr.Montaguehadnotonlytoengageassistantsbuttosearchforthem.

Becausehethoughtofhimselfascarefulandconscientious,hespent

considerabletimelookingforhisassistants.Hecombedtherecordsofthepsychicsocieties,thebackfilesofsensationalnewspapers,thereportsofparapsychologists,andassembledalistofnamesofpeoplewhohad,inonewayoranother,atonetimeoranother,nomatterhowbrieflyordubiously,beeninvolvedinabnormalevents.Fromhislisthefirsteliminatedthenamesofpeoplewhoweredead.Whenhehadthencrossedoffthenamesofthosewhoseemedtohimpublicity-seekers,ofsubnormalIntelligence,orunsuitablebecauseofacleartendencytotakethecenterofthestage,hehadalistofperhapsadozennames.Eachofthesepeople,then,receivedaletterfromDr.Montagueextendinganinvitationtospendallorpartofasummeratacomfortablecountryhouse,old,butperfectlyequippedwithplumbing,electricity,centralheating,andcleanmattresses.Thepurposeoftheirstay,thelettersstatedclearly,wastoobserveandexplorethevariousunsavorystorieswhichhadbeencirculatedaboutthehouseformostofitseightyyearsofexistence.Dr.Montague'slettersdidnotsayopenlythatHillHousewashaunted,becauseDr.MontaguewasamanofscienceanduntilhehadactuallyexperiencedapsychicmanifestationinHillHousehewouldnottrusthislucktoofar.Consequentlyhislettershadacertainambiguousdignitycalculatedtocatchattheimaginationofaveryspecialsortofreader.Tohisdozenletters,Dr.Montaguehadfourreplies,theothereightorsocandidateshavingpresumablymovedandleftnoforwardingaddress,orpossiblyhavinglostinterestinthesupernormal,oreven,perhaps,neverhavingexistedatall.Tothefourwhoreplied,Dr.Montaguewroteagain,namingaspecificdaywhenthehousewouldbeofficiallyregardedasreadyforoccupancy,andenclosingdetaileddirectionsforreachingit,since,ashewasforcedtoexplain,informationaboutfindingthehousewasextremelydifficulttoget,particularlyfromtheruralcommunitywhichsurroundedit.OnthedaybeforehewastoleaveforHillHouse,Dr.Montaguewaspersuadedtotakeintohisselectcompanyarepresentativeofafamilywhoownedthehouse,andatelegramarrivedfromoneofhiscandidates,backingoutwithaclearlymanufacturedexcuse.Anothernevercameorwrote,perhapsbecauseofsomepressingpersonalproblemwhichhadintervened.Theothertwocame.

1-2EleanorVancewasthirty-twoyearsoldwhenshecametoHillHouse.The

onlypersonintheworldshegenuinelyhated,nowthathermotherwasdead,washersister.Shedislikedherbrother-in-lawandherfive-year-oldniece,andshehadnofriends.Thiswasowinglargelytotheelevenyearsshehadspentcaringforherinvalidmother,whichhadleftherwithsomeproficiencyasanurseandaninabilitytofacestrongsunlightwithoutblinking.Shecouldnotremembereverbeingtrulyhappyinheradultlife;heryearswithhermotherhadbeenbuiltupdevotedlyaroundsmallguiltsandsmallreproaches,constantweariness,andunendingdespair.Withouteverwantingtobecomereservedandshy,shehadspentsolongalone,withnoonetolove,thatitwasdifficultforhertotalk,evencasually,toanotherpersonwithoutself-consciousnessandanawkwardinabilitytofindwords.HernamehadturneduponDr.Montague'slistbecauseoneday,whenshewastwelveyearsoldandhersisterwaseighteen,andtheirfatherhadbeendeadfornotquiteamonth,showersofstoneshadfallenontheirhouse,withoutanywarningoranyindicationofpurposeorreason,droppingfromtheceilingsrollingloudlydownthewalls,breakingwindowsandpatteringmaddeninglyontheroof.Thestonescontinuedintermittentlyforthreedays,duringwhichtimeEleanorandhersisterwerelessunnervedbythestonesthanbytheneighborsandsightseerswhogathereddailyoutsidethefrontdoor,andbytheirmother'sblind,hystericalinsistencethatallofthiswasduetomalicious,backbitingpeopleontheblockwhohadhaditinforhereversinceshecame.AfterthreedaysEleanorandhersisterwereremovedtothehouseofafriend,andthestonesstoppedfalling,nordidtheyeverreturn,althoughEleanorandhersisterandhermotherwentbacktolivinginthehouse,andthefeudwiththeentireneighborhoodwasneverended.ThestoryhadbeenforgottenbyeveryoneexceptthepeopleDr.Montagueconsulted;ithadcertainlybeenforgottenbyEleanorandhersister,eachofwhomhadsupposedatthetimethattheotherwasresponsible.

Duringthewholeundersideofherlife,eversinceherfirstmemory,EleanorhadbeenwaitingforsomethinglikeHillHouse.Caringforhermother,liftingacrossoldladyfromherchairtoherbed,settingoutendlesslittletraysofsoupandoatmeal,steelingherselftothefilthylaundry,Eleanorhadheldfasttothebeliefthatsomedaysomethingwouldhappen.ShehadacceptedtheinvitationtoHillHousebyreturnmail,althoughherbrother-in-lawhadinsisteduponcallingacoupleofpeopletomakesurethatthisdoctorfellowwasnotaimingto

introduceEleanortosavageritesnotunconnectedwithmattersEleanor'ssisterdeemeditimproperforanunmarriedyoungwomantoknow.Perhaps,Eleanor'ssisterwhisperedintheprivacyofthemaritalbedroom,perhapsDr.Montague-ifthatreallywashisname,afterall-perhapsthisDr.Montagueusedthesewomenforsome-well-experiments.Youknow-experiments,thewaytheydo.Eleanor'ssisterdweltrichlyuponexperimentsshehadheardthesedoctorsdid.Eleanorhadnosuchideas,or,havingthem,wasnotafraid.Eleanor,inshort,wouldhavegoneanywhere.

Theodora-thatwasasmuchnameassheused;hersketchesweresigned"Theo"andonherapartmentdoorandthewindowofhershopandhertelephonelistingandherpalestationeryandthebottomofthelovelyphotographofherwhichstoodonthemantel,thenamewasalwaysonlyTheodora-TheodorawasnotatalllikeEleanor.Dutyandconsciencewere,forTheodora,attributeswhichbelongedproperlytoGirlScouts.Theodora'sworldwasoneofdelightandsoftcolors;shehadcomeontoDr.Montague'slistbecause-goinglaughingintothelaboratory,bringingwithherarushoffloralperfume-shehadsomehowbeenable,amusedandexcitedoverherownincredibleskill,toidentifycorrectlyeighteencardsoutoftwenty,fifteencardsoutoftwenty,nineteencardsoutoftwenty,heldupbyanassistantoutofsightandhearing.ThenameofTheodorashoneintherecordsofthelaboratoryandsocameinevitablytoDr.Montague'sattention.TheodorahadbeenentertainedbyDr.Montague'sfirstletterandanswereditoutofcuriosity(perhapsthewakenedknowledgeinTheodorawhichtoldherthenamesofsymbolsoncardsheldoutofsighturgedheronherwaytowardHillHouse),andyetfullyintendedtodeclinetheinvitation.Yet-perhapsthestirring,urgentsenseagain-whenDr.Montague'sconfirmingletterarrived,Theodorahadbeentemptedandhadsomehowplungedblindly,wantonly,intoaviolentquarrelwiththefriendwithwhomshesharedanapartment.Thingsweresaidonbothsideswhichonlytimecoulderadicate;Theodorahaddeliberatelyandheartlesslysmashedthelovelylittlefigurineherfriendhadcarvedofher,andherfriendhadcruellyrippedtoshredsthevolumeofAlfreddeMussetwhichhadbeenabirthdaypresentfromTheodora,takingparticularpainswiththepagewhichboreTheodora'sloving,teasinginscription.Theseactswereofcourseunforgettable,andbeforetheycouldlaughoverthemtogethertimewouldhavetogoby;Theodorahadwrittenthatnight,acceptingDr.Montague'sinvitation,anddepartedincoldsilencethenextday.

LukeSandersonwasaliar.Hewasalsoathief.Hisaunt,whowastheownerofHillHouse,wasfondofpointingoutthathernephewhadthebesteducation,

thebestclothes,thebesttaste,andtheworstcompanionsofanyoneshehadeverknown;shewouldhaveleapedatanychancetoputhimsafelyawayforafewweeks.ThefamilylawyerwasprevailedupontopersuadeDr.Montaguethatthehousecouldonnoaccountberentedtohimforhis,purposeswithouttheconfiningpresenceofamemberofthefamilyduringhisstay,andperhapsattheirfirstmeetingthedoctorperceivedinLukeakindofstrength,orcatlikeinstinctforself-preservation,whichmadehimalmostasanxiousasMrs.SandersontohaveLukewithhiminthehouse.Atanyrate,Lukewasamused,hisauntgrateful,andDr.Montaguemorethansatisfied.Mrs.SandersontoldthefamilylawyerthatatanyratetherewasreallynothinginthehouseLukecouldsteal.Theoldsilvertherewasofsomevalue,shetoldthelawyer,butitrepresentedanalmostinsuperabledifficultyforLuke:itrequiredenergytostealitandtransformitintomoney.Mrs.SandersondidLukeaninjustice.Lukewasnotatalllikelytomakeoffwiththefamilysilver,orDr.Montague'swatch,orTheodora'sbracelet;hisdishonestywaslargelyconfinedtotakingpettycashfromhisaunt'spocketbookandcheatingatcards.Hewasalsoapttosellthewatchesandcigarettecasesgivenhim,fondlyandwithprettyblushes,byhisaunt'sfriends.SomedayLukewouldinheritHillHouse,buthehadneverthoughttofindhimselflivinginit.

1-3"Ijustdon'tthinksheshouldtakethecar,isall,"Eleanor'sbrother-in-lawsaid

stubbornly.

"It'shalfmycar,"Eleanorsaid."Ihelpedpayforit."

"Ijustdon'tthinksheshouldtakeit,isall,"herbrother-in-lawsaid.Heappealedtohiswife."Itisn'tfairsheshouldhavetheuseofitforthewholesummer,andushavetodowithout."

"Carriedrivesitallthetime,andInevereventakeitoutofthegarage,"Eleanorsaid."Besides,you'llbeinthemountainsallsummer,andyoucan'tuseitthere.Carrie,youknowyouwon'tusethecarinthemountains.

"ButsupposepoorlittleLinniegotsickorsomething?Andweneededacartogethertoadoctor?"

"It'shalfmycar,"Eleanorsaid."Imeantotakeit."

"SupposeevenCarriegotsick?Supposewecouldn'tgetadoctorandneededtogotoahospital?"

"Iwantit.Imeantotakeit."

"Idon'tthinkso."Carriespokeslowly,deliberately."Wedon'tknowwhereyou'regoing,dowe?Youhaven'tseenfittotellusverymuchaboutallthis,haveyou?Idon'tthinkIcanseemywaycleartolettingyouborrowmycar."

"It'shalfmycar."

"No,"Carriesaid."Youmaynot."

"Right."Eleanor'sbrother-in-lawnodded.".Weneedit,likeCarriesays."

Carriesmiledslightly."I'dneverforgivemyself,Eleanor,ifIlentyouthecarandsomethinghappened.Howdoweknowwecantrustthisdoctorfellow?You'restillayoungwoman,afterall,andthecarisworthagooddealofmoney."

"Well,now,Carrie,IdidcallHomerinthecreditoffice,andhesaidthis

fellowwasingoodstandingatsomecollegeorother-"

Carriesaid,stillsmiling,"Ofcourse,thereiseveryreasontosupposethatheisadecentman.ButEleanordoesnotchoosetotelluswheresheisgoing,orhowtoreachherifwewantthecarback;somethingcouldhappen,andwemightneverknow.EvenifEleanor,"shewentondelicately,addressingherteacup,"evenifEleanorispreparedtorunofftotheendsoftheearthattheinvitationofanyman,thereisstillnoreasonwhysheshouldbepermittedtotakemycarwithher."

"It'shalfmycar."

"SupposepoorlittleLinniegotsick,upthereinthemountains,with,nobodyaround?Nodoctor?"

"Inanycase,Eleanor,IamsurethatIamdoingwhatMotherwouldhavethoughtbest.Motherhadconfidenceinmeandwouldcertainlyneverhaveapprovedmylettingyourunwild,goingoffheavenknowswhere,inmycar."

"OrsupposeevenIgotsick,uptherein-"

"IamsureMotherwouldhaveagreedwithme,Eleanor."

"Besides,"Eleanor'sbrother-in-lawsaid,struckbyasuddenidea,"howdoweknowshe'dbringitbackingoodcondition?"

Therehastobeafirsttimeforeverything,Eleanortoldherself.Shegotoutofthetaxi,veryearlyinthemorning,tremblingbecausebynow,perhaps,hersisterandherbrother-in-lawmightbestirringwiththefirstfaintproddingsofsuspicion;shetookhersuitcasequicklyoutofthetaxiwhilethedriverliftedoutthecardboardcartonwhichhadbeenonthefrontseat.Eleanorovertippedhim,wonderingifhersisterandbrother-in-lawwerefollowing,wereperhapsevennowturningintothestreetandtellingeachother,

"Theresheis,justaswethought,thethief,theresheis";sheturnedinhastetogointothehugecitygaragewheretheircarwaskept,glancingnervouslytowardtheendsofthestreet.Shecrashedintoaverylittlelady,sendingpackagesinalldirections,andsawwithdismayabagupsetandbreakonthesidewalk,spillingoutabrokenpieceofcheesecake,tomatoslices,ahardroll."Damnyoudamnyou!"thelittleladyscreamed,herfacepushedupclosetoEleanor's."Iwas

takingithome,damnyoudamnyou!"

"I'msosorry,"Eleanorsaid;shebentdown,butitdidnotseempossibletoscoopupthefragmentsoftomatoandcheesecakeandshovethemsomehowbackintothebrokenbag.TheoldladywasscowlingdownandsnatchingupherotherpackagesbeforeEleanorcouldreachthem,andatlastEleanorrose,smilinginconvulsiveapology."I'mreallysosorry,"shesaid.

"Damnyou,"thelittleoldladysaid,butmorequietly."Iwastakingithomeformylittlelunch.Andnow,thankstoyou-"

"PerhapsIcouldpay?"Eleanortookholdofherpocketbook,andthelittleladystoodverystillandthought.

"Icouldn'ttakemoney,justlikethat,"shesaidatlast."Ididn'tbuythethings,yousee.Theywereleftover."Shesnappedherlipsangrily."Youshouldhaveseenthehamtheyhad,"shesaid,"butsomeoneelsegotthat.Andthechocolatecake.Andthepotatosalad.Andthelittlecandiesinthelittlepaperdishes.Iwastoolateoneverything.Andnow…"SheandEleanorbothglanceddownatthemessonthesidewalk,andthelittleladysaid,"Soyousee,Icouldn'tjusttakemoney,notmoneyjustfromyourhand,notforsomethingthatwasleftover."

"MayIbuyyousomethingtoreplacethis,then?I'minaterriblehurry,butifwecouldfindsomeplacethat'sopen-"

Thelittleoldladysmiledwickedly."I'vestillgotthis,anyway,"shesaid,andshehuggedonepackagetight."Youmaypaymytaxifarehome,"shesaid."Thennooneelsewillbelikelytoknockmedown."

"Gladly,"Eleanorsaidandturnedtothetaxidriver,whohadbeenwaiting,interested."Canyoutakethisladyhome?"sheasked.

"Acoupleofdollarswilldoit,"thelittleladysaid,"notincludingthetipforthisgentleman,ofcourse.BeingassmallasIam,"sheexplaineddaintily,"it'squiteahazard,quiteahazardindeed,peopleknockingyoudown.Still,it'sagenuinepleasuretofindoneaswillingasyoutomakeupforit.Sometimesthepeoplewhoknockyoudownneverturnoncetolook."WithEleanor'shelpsheclimbedintothetaxiwithherpackages,andEleanortooktwodollarsandafifty-centpiecefromherpocketbookandhandedthemtothelittlelady,whoclutchedthemtightinhertinyhand.

"Allright,sweetheart,"thetaxidriversaid,"wheredowego?"Thelittleladychuckled."I'lltellyouafterwestart,"shesaid,andthen,toEleanor,"Goodlucktoyou,dearie.Watchoutfromnowonhowyougoknockingpeopledown."

"Good-by,"Eleanorsaid,"andI'mreallyverysorry."

"That'sfine,then,"thelittleladysaid,wavingatherasthetaxipulledawayfromthecurb."I'llbeprayingforyou,dearie."

Well,Eleanorthought,staringafterthetaxi,there'soneperson,anyway,whowillbeprayingforme.Onepersonanyway.

1-4Itwasthefirstgenuinelyshiningdayofsummer,atimeofyearwhichbrought

Eleanoralwaystoachingmemoriesofherearlychildhood,whenithadseemedtobesummerallthetime;shecouldnotrememberawinterbeforeherfather'sdeathonacoldwetday.Shehadtakentowonderinglately,duringtheseswiftcountedyears,whathadbeendonewithallthosewastedsummerdays;howcouldshehavespentthemsowantonly?Iamfoolish,shetoldherselfearlyeverysummer,Iamveryfoolish;Iamgrownupnowandknowthevaluesofthings.Nothingiseverreallywasted,shebelievedsensibly,evenone'schildhood,andtheneachyear,onesummermorning,thewarmwindwouldcomedownthecitystreetwhereshewalkedandshewouldbetouchedwiththelittlecoldthought:Ihaveletmoretimegoby.Yetthismorning,drivingthelittlecarwhichsheandhersisterownedtogether,apprehensivelesttheymightstillrealizethatshehadcomeafterallandjusttakenitaway,goingdocilelyalongthestreet,followingthelinesoftraffic,stoppingwhenshewasbiddenandturningwhenshecould,shesmiledoutatthesunlightslantingalongthestreetandthought,Iamgoing,Iamgoing,Ihavefinallytakenastep.

Alwaysbefore,whenshehadhersister'spermissiontodrivethelittlecar,shehadgonecautiously,movingwithextremecaretoavoideventheslightestscratchormarwhichmightirritatehersister,buttoday,withhercartononthebackseatandhersuitcaseonthefloor,herglovesandpocketbookandlightcoatontheseatbesideher,thecarbelongedentirelytoher,alittlecontainedworldallherown;Iamreallygoing,shethought.

Atthelasttrafficlightinthecity,beforesheturnedtogoontothegreathighwayoutoftown,shestopped,waiting,andslidDr.Montague'sletteroutofherpocketbook.Iwillnotevenneedamap,shethought;hemustbeaverycarefulman."…Route39toAshton,"thelettersaid,"andthenturnleftontoRoute5goingwest.Followthisforalittlelessthanthirtymiles,andyouwillcometothesmallvillageofHillsdale.GothroughHillsdaletothecornerwithagasstationontheleftandachurchontheright,andturnlefthereontowhatseemstobeanarrowcountryroad;youwillbegoingupintothehillsandtheroadisverypoor.Followthisroadtotheend-aboutsixmiles-andyouwillcometothegatesofHillHouse.IammakingthesedirectionssodetailedbecauseitisinadvisabletostopinHillsdaletoaskyourway.ThepeopletherearerudetostrangersandopenlyhostiletoanyoneinquiringaboutHillHouse.

"IamveryhappythatyouwillbejoiningusinHillHouse,andwilltakegreatpleasureinmakingyouracquaintanceonThursdaythetwenty-firstofJune…"

Thelightchanged;sheturnedontothehighwayandwasfreeofthecity.Noone,shethought,cancatchmenow;theydon'tevenknowwhichwayI'mgoing.

Shehadneverdrivenfaralonebefore.Thenotionofdividingherlovelyjourneyintomilesandhourswassilly;shesawit,bringinghercarwithprecisionbetweenthelineontheroadandthelineoftreesbesidetheroad,asapassageofmoments,eachonenew,carryingheralongwiththem,takingherdownapathofincrediblenoveltytoanewplace.Thejourneyitselfwasherpositiveaction,herdestinationvague,unimagined,perhapsnonexistent.Shemeanttosavoreachturnofhertraveling,lovingtheroadandthetreesandthehousesandthesmalluglytowns,teasingherselfwiththenotionthatshemighttakeitintoherheadtostopjustanywhereandneverleaveagain.Shemightpullhercartothesideofthehighway-althoughthatwasnotallowed,shetoldherself,shewouldbepunishedifshereallydid-andleaveitbehindwhileshewanderedoffpastthetreesintothesoft,welcomingcountrybeyond.Shemightwandertillshewasexhausted,chasingbutterfliesorfollowingastream,andthencomeatnightfalltothehutofsomepoorwoodcutterwhowouldofferhershelter;shemightmakeherhomeforeverinEastBarringtonorDesmondortheincorporatedvillageofBerk;shemightneverleavetheroadatall,butjusthurryonandonuntilthewheelsofthecarwereworntonothingandshehadcometotheendoftheworld.

And,shethought,ImightjustgoalongtoHillHouse,whereIamexpectedandwhereIambeinggivenshelterandroomandboardandasmalltokensalaryinconsiderationofforsakingmycommitmentsandinvolvementsinthecityandrunningawaytoseetheworld.IwonderwhatDr.Montagueislike.IwonderwhatHillHouseislike.Iwonderwhoelsewillbethere.

Shewaswellawayfromthecitynow,watchingfortheturningontoRoute39,thatmagicthreadofroadDr.Montaguehadchosenforher,outofalltheroadsintheworld,tobringhersafelytohimandtoHillHouse;nootherroadcouldleadherfromwhereshewastowhereshewantedtobe.DrMontaguewasconfirmed,madeinfallible;underthesignwhichpointedthewaytoRoute39wasanothersignsaying:ASHTON,121MILES.

Theroad,herintimatefriendnow,turnedanddipped,goingaroundturns

wheresurpriseswaited-onceacow,regardingheroverafence,onceanincuriousdog-downintohollowswheresmalltownslay,pastfieldsandorchards.Onthemainstreetofonevillageshepassedavasthouse,pillaredandwalled,withshuttersoverthewindowsandapairofstonelionsguardingthesteps,andshethoughtthatperhapsshemightlivethere,dustingthelionseachmorningandpattingtheirheadsgoodnight.TimeisbeginningthismorninginJune,sheassuredherself,butitisatimethatisstrangelynewandofitself,inthesefewsecondsIhavelivedalifetimeinahousewithtwolionsinfront.EverymorningIswepttheporchanddustedthelions,andeveryeveningIpattedtheirheadsgoodnight,andonceaweekIwashedtheirfacesandmanesandpawswithwarmwaterandsodaandcleanedbetweentheirteethwithaswab.Insidethehousetheroomsweretallandclearwithshiningfloorsandpolishedwindows.Alittledaintyoldladytookcareofme,movingstarchilywithasilverteaserviceonatrayandbringingmeaglassofelderberrywineeacheveningformyhealth'ssake.Itookmydinneraloneinthelong,quietdiningroomatthegleamingtable,andbetweenthetallwindowsthewhitepanelingofthewallsshoneinthecandlelight;Idineduponabird,andradishesfromthegarden,andhomemadeplumjam.WhenIsleptitwasunderacanopyofwhiteorgandy,andanightlightguardedmefromthehall.Peoplebowedtomeonthestreetsofthetownbecauseeveryonewasveryproudofmylions.WhenIdied…

Shehadleftthetownfarbehindbynow,andwasgoingpastdirty,closedlunchstandsandtornsigns.Therehadbeenafairsomewherenearhereonce,longago,withmotorcycleraces;thesignsstillcarriedfragmentsofwords.DARE,oneofthemread,andanother,EVIL,andshelaughedatherself,perceivinghowshesoughtoutomenseverywhere;thewordisDAREDEVIL,Eleanor,daredevildrivers,andsheslowedhercarbecauseshewasdrivingtoofastandmightreachHillHousetoosoon.

Atonespotshestoppedaltogetherbesidetheroadtostareindisbeliefandwonder.Alongtheroadforperhapsaquarterofamileshehadbeenpassingandadmiringarowofsplendidtendedoleanders,bloomingpinkandwhiteinasteadyrow.Nowshehadcometothegatewaytheyprotected,andpastthegatewaythetreescontinued.Thegatewaywasnomorethanapairofruinedstonepillars,witharoadleadingawaybetweenthemintoemptyfields.Shecouldseethattheoleandertreescutawayfromtheroadandranupeachsideofagreatsquare,andshecouldseeallthewaytothefarthersideofthesquare,whichwasalineofoleandertreesseeminglygoingalongalittleriver.Insidetheoleandersquaretherewasnothing,nohouse,nobuilding,nothingbutthe

straightroadgoingacrossandendingatthestream.Nowwhatwashere,shewondered,whatwashereandisgone,orwhatwasgoingtobehereandnevercame?Wasitgoingtobeahouseoragardenoranorchard;weretheydrivenawayforeveroraretheycomingback?Oleandersarepoisonous,sheremembered;couldtheybehereguardingsomething?WillI,shethought,willIgetoutofmycarandgobetweentheruinedgatesandthen,onceIaminthemagicoleandersquare,findthatIhavewanderedintoafairyland,protectedpoisonouslyfromtheeyesofpeoplepassing?OnceIhavesteppedbetweenthemagicgateposts,willIfindmyselfthroughtheprotectivebarrier,thespellbroken?Iwillgointoasweetgarden,withfountainsandlowbenchesandrosestrainedoverarbors,andfindonepath-jeweled,perhaps,withrubiesandemeralds,softenoughforaking'sdaughtertowalkuponwithherlittlesandaledfeet-anditwillleadmedirectlytothepalacewhichliesunderaspell.Iwillwalkuplowstonestepspaststonelionsguardingandintoacourtyardwhereafountainplaysandthequeenwaits,weeping,fortheprincesstoreturn.Shewilldropherembroiderywhensheseesme,andcryouttothepalaceservants-stirringatlastaftertheirlongsleep-toprepareagreatfeast,becausetheenchantmentisendedandthepalaceisitselfagain.Andweshalllivehappilyeverafter.

No,ofcourse,shethought,turningtostarthercaragain,oncethepalacebecomesvisibleandthespellisbroken,thewholespellwillbebrokenandallthiscountrysideoutsidetheoleanderswillreturntoitsproperform,fadingaway,townsandsignsandcows,intoasoftgreenpicturefromafairytale.Then,comingdownfromthehillstherewillbeaprinceriding,brightingreenandsilverwithahundredbowmenridingbehindhim,pennantsstirring,horsestossing,jewelsflashing…

Shelaughedandturnedtosmilegood-byatthemagicoleanders.Anotherday,shetoldthem,anotherdayI'llcomebackandbreakyourspell.

Shestoppedforlunchaftershehaddrivenahundredmilesandamile.Shefoundacountryrestaurantwhichadvertiseditselfasanoldmillandfoundherselfseated,incredibly,uponabalconyoveradashingstream,lookingdownuponwetrocksandtheintoxicatingsparkleofmovingwater,withacut-glassbowlofcottagecheeseonthetablebeforeher,andcornsticksinanapkin.Becausethiswasatimeandalandwhereenchantmentswereswiftlymadeandbrokenshewantedtolingeroverherlunch,knowingthatHillHousealwayswaitedforherattheendofherday.Theonlyotherpeopleinthediningroom

wereafamilyparty,amotherandfatherwithasmallboyandgirl,andtheytalkedtooneanothersoftlyandgently,andoncethelittlegirlturnedandregardedEleanorwithfrankcuriosityand,afteraminute,smiled.Thelightsfromthestreambelowtouchedtheceilingandthepolishedtablesandglancedalongthelittlegirl'scurls,andthelittlegirl'smothersaid,

"Shewantshercupofstars."

Eleanorlookedup,surprised;thelittlegirlwasslidingbackinherchair,sullenlyrefusinghermilk,whileherfatherfrownedandherbrothergiggledandhermothersaidcalmly,"Shewantshercupofstars."

Indeedyes,Eleanorthought;indeed,sodoI;acupofstars,ofcourse.

"Herlittlecup,"themotherwasexplaining,smilingapologeticallyatthewaitress,whowasthunderstruckatthethoughtthatthemill'sgoodcountrymilkwasnotrichenoughforthelittlegirl.

"Ithasstarsinthebottom,andshealwaysdrinkshermilkfromitathome.Shecallsithercupofstarsbecauseshecanseethestarswhileshedrinkshermilk."Thewaitressnodded,unconvinced,andthemothertoldthelittlegirl,"You'llhaveyourmilkfromyourcupofstarstonightwhenwegethome.Butjustfornow,justtobeaverygoodlittlegirl,willyoutakealittlemilkfromthisglass?"

Don'tdoit,Eleanortoldthelittlegirl;insistonyourcupofstars;oncetheyhavetrappedyouintobeinglikeeveryoneelseyouwillneverseeyourcupofstarsagain;don'tdoit;andthelittlegirlglancedather,andsmiledalittlesubtle,dimpling,whollycomprehendingsmile[andshookherheadstubbornlyattheglass.Bravegirl,Eleanorthought;wise,bravegirl.

"You'respoilingher,"thefathersaid."Sheoughtnottobeallowedthesewhims."

"Justthisonce,"themothersaid.Sheputdowntheglassofmilkandtouchedthelittlegirlgentlyonthehand."Eatyouricecream,"shesaid.

Whentheyleft,thelittlegirlwavedgood-bytoEleanor,andEleanorwavedback,sittinginjoyfullonelinesstofinishhercoffeewhilethegaystreamtumbledalongbelowher.Ihavenotverymuch,farthertogo,Eleanorthought;I

ammorethanhalfwaythere.Journey'send,shethought,andfarbackinhermind,sparklinglikethelittlestream,atagendofatunedancedthroughherhead,bringingdistantlyawordorso;"Indelaythereliesnoplenty,"shethought,"indelaythereliesnoplenty."

ShenearlystoppedforeverjustoutsideAshton,becauseshecametoatinycottageburiedinagarden.Icouldlivethereallalone,shethought,slowingthecartolookdownthewindinggardenpathtothesmallbluefrontdoorwith,perfectly,awhitecatonthestep.Noonewouldeverfindmethere,either,behindallthoseroses,andjusttomakesureIwouldplantoleandersbytheroad.Iwilllightafireinthecooleveningsandtoastapplesatmyownhearth.Iwillraisewhitecatsandsewwhitecurtainsforthewindowsandsometimescomeoutofmydoortogotothestoretobuycinnamonandteaandthread.Peoplewillcometometohavetheirfortunestold,andIwillbrewlovepotionsforsadmaidens;Iwillhavearobin…Butthecottagewasfarbehind,anditwastimetolookforhernewroad,socarefullychartedbyDr.Montague.

"TurnleftontoRoute5goingwest,"hislettersaid,and,asefficientlyandpromptlyasthoughhehadbeenguidingherfromsomespotfaraway,movinghercarwithcontrolsinhishands,itwasdone;shewasOnRoute5goingwest,andherjourneywasnearlydone.Inspiteofwhathesaid,though,shethought,IwillstopinHillsdaleforaminute,justforacupofcoffee,becauseIcannotbeartohavemylongtripendsosoon.Itwasnotreallydisobeying,anyway;thelettersaiditwasinadvisabletostopinHillsdaletoasktheway,notforbiddentostopforcoffee,andperhapsifIdon'tmentionHillHouseIwillnotbedoingwrong.Anyway,shethoughtobscurely;it'smylastchance.

Hillsdalewasuponherbeforesheknewit,atangled,disorderlymessofdirtyhousesandcrookedstreets.Itwassmall;onceshehadcomeontothemainstreetshecouldseethecornerattheendwiththegasstationandthechurch.Thereseemedtobeonlyoneplacetostopforcoffee,andthatwasanunattractivediner,butEleanorwasboundtostopinHillsdaleandsoshebroughthercartothebrokencurbinfrontofthedinerandgotout.Afteraminute'sthought,withasilentnodtoHillsdale,shelockedthecar,mindfulofhersuitcaseonthefloorandthecartononthebackseat.IwillnotspendlonginHillsdale,shethought,lookingupanddownthestreet,whichmanaged,eveninthesunlight,tobedarkandugly.Adogsleptuneasilyintheshadeagainstawall,awomanstoodinadoorwayacrossthestreetandlookedatEleanor,andtwoyoungboysloungedagainstafence,elaboratelysilent.Eleanor,whowasafraidofstrangedogsand

jeeringwomenandyounghoodlums,wentquicklyintothediner,clutchingherpocketbookandhercarkeys.Inside,shefoundacounterwithachinless,tiredgirlbehindit,andamansittingattheendeating.Shewonderedbrieflyhowhungryhemusthavebeentocomeinhereatall,whenshelookedatthegraycounterandthesmearedglassbowloveraplateofdoughnuts."Coffee,"shesaidtothegirlbehindthecounter,andthegirlturnedwearilyandtumbleddownacupfromthepilesontheshelves;IwillhavetodrinkthiscoffeebecauseIsaidIwasgoingto,Eleanortoldherselfsternly,butnexttimeIwilllistentoDr.Montague.

Therewassomeelaboratejokegoingonbetweenthemaneatingandthegirlbehindthecounter;whenshesetEleanor'scoffeedownsheglancedathimandhalf-smiled,andheshrugged,andthenthegirllaughed.Eleanorlookedup,butthegirlwasexaminingherfingernailsandthemanwaswipinghisplatewithbread.PerhapsEleanor'scoffeewaspoisoned;itcertainlylookedit.DeterminedtoplumbthevillageofHillsdaletoitslowestdepths,Eleanorsaidtothegirl,"I'llhaveoneofthosedoughnutstoo,please,"andthegirl,glancingsidewaysattheman,slidoneofthedoughnutsontoadishandsetitdowninfrontofEleanorandlaughedwhen,shecaughtanotherlookfromtheman.

"Thisisaprettylittletown,"Eleanorsaidtothegirl."Whatisitcalled?"

Thegirlstaredather;perhapsnoonehadeverbeforehadtheaudacitytocallHillsdaleaprettylittletown;afteramomentthegirllookedagainattheman,asthoughcallingforconfirmation,andsaid,"Hillsdale."

"Haveyoulivedherelong?"Eleanorasked.I'mnotgoingtomentionHillHouse,sheassuredDr.Montaguefaraway,Ijustwanttowastealittletime.

"Yeah,"thegirlsaid.

"Itmustbepleasant,livinginasmalltownlikethis.Icomefromthecity."

"Yeah?"

"Doyoulikeithere?"

"It'sallright,"thegirlsaid.Shelookedagainattheman,whowaslisteningcarefully."Notmuchtodo."

"Howlargeatownisit?"

"Prettysmall.Youwantmorecoffee?"Thiswasaddressedtotheman,whowasrattlinghiscupagainsthissaucer,andEleanortookafirst,shudderingsipofherowncoffeeandwonderedhowhecouldpossiblywantmore.

"Doyouhavealotofvisitorsaroundhere?"sheaskedwhenthegirlhadfilledthecoffeecupandgonebacktoloungeagainsttheshelves."Tourists,Imean?"

"Whatfor?"Foraminutethegirlflashedather,fromwhatmighthavebeenanemptinessgreaterthananyEleanorhadeverknown."Whywouldanybodycomehere?"Shelookedsullenlyatthemanandadded,"There'snotevenamovie.

"Butthehillsaresopretty.Mostly,withsmallout-of-the-waytownslikethisone,you'llfindcitypeoplewhohavecomeandbuiltthemselveshomesupinthehills.Forprivacy."

Thegirllaughedshortly."Notheretheydon't."

"Orremodelingoldhouses-"

"Privacy,"thegirlsaid,andlaughedagain.

"Itjustseemssurprising,"Eleanorsaid,feelingthemanlookingather.

"Yeah,"thegirlsaid."Ifthey'dputinamovie,even."

"Ithought,"Eleanorsaidcarefully,"thatImightevenlookaround.Oldhousesareusuallycheap,youknow,andit'sfuntomakethemover."

"Notaroundhere,"thegirlsaid.

"Then,"Eleanorsaid,"therearenooldhousesaroundhere?Backinthehills?"

"Nope."

Themanrose,takingchangefromhispocket,andspokeforthefirsttime."Peopleleavethistown,"hesaid."Theydon'tcomehere."

WhenthedoorclosedbehindhimthegirlturnedherflateyesbacktoEleanor,almostresentfully,asthoughEleanorwithherchatterhaddriventhemanaway."Hewasright,"shesaidfinally.

"Theygoaway,theluckyones."

"Whydon'tyourunaway?"Eleanoraskedher,andthegirlshrugged.

"WouldIbeanybetteroff?"sheasked.ShetookEleanor'smoneywithoutinterestandreturnedthechange.Then,withanotherofherquickflashes,sheglancedattheemptyplatesattheendofthecounterandalmostsmiled."Hecomesineveryday,"shesaid.WhenEleanorsmiledbackandstartedtospeak,thegirlturnedherbackandbusiedherselfwiththecupsontheshelves,andEleanor,feelingherselfdismissed,rosegratefullyfromhercoffeeandtookuphercarkeysandpocketbook."Good-by,"Eleanorsaid,andthegirl,backstillturned,said,"Goodlucktoyou.Ihopeyoufindyourhouse.

1-5Theroadleadingawayfromthegasstationandthechurchwasverypoor

indeed,deeplyruttedandrocky.Eleanor'slittlecarstumbledandbounced,reluctanttogofartherintotheseunattractivehills,wherethedayseemedquicklydrawingtoanendunderthethick,oppressivetreesoneitherside.Theydonotreallyseemtohavemuchtrafficonthisroad,Eleanorthoughtwryly,turningthewheelquicklytoavoidaparticularlyviciousrockahead;sixmilesofthiswillnotdothecaranygood;andforthefirsttimeinhoursshethoughtofhersisterandlaughed.Bynowtheywouldsurelyknowthatshehadtakenthecarandgone,buttheywouldnotknowwhere;theywouldbetellingeachotherincredulouslythattheywouldneverhavesuspecteditofEleanor.Iwouldneverhavesuspecteditofmyself,shethought,laughingstill;everythingisdifferent,Iamanewperson,veryfarfromhome."Indelaythereliesnoplenty…presentmirthhathpresentlaughter…,"Andshegaspedasthecarcrackedagainstarockandreeledbackacrosstheroadwithanominousscrapingsomewherebeneath,butthengathereditselftogethervaliantlyandresumeditsdoggedclimb.Thetreebranchesbrushedagainstthewindshield,anditgrewsteadilydarker;HillHouselikestomakeanentrance,shethought;Iwonderifthesunevershinesalonghere.Atlast,withonefinaleffort,thecarclearedatangleofdeadleavesandsmallbranchesacrosstheroad,andcameintoaclearingbythegateofHillHouse.

WhyamIhere?shethoughthelplesslyandatonce;whyamIhere?Thegatewastallandominousandheavy,setstronglyintoastonewallwhichwentoffthroughthetrees.Evenfromthecarshecouldseethepadlockandthechainthatwastwistedaroundandthroughthebars.Beyondthegateshecouldseeonlythattheroadcontinued,turned,shadowedoneithersidebythestill,darktrees.

Sincethegatewassoclearlylocked-lockedanddouble-lockedandchainedandbarred;who,shewondered,wantssobadlytogetin?-shemadenoattempttogetoutofhercar,butpressedthehorn,andthetreesandthegateshudderedandwithdrewslightlyfromthesound.Afteraminutesheblewthehornagainandthensawamancomingtowardherfrominsidethegate;hewasasdarkandunwelcomingasthepadlock,andbeforehemovedtowardthegatehepeeredthroughthebarsather,scowling.

"Whatyouwant?"Hisvoicewassharp,mean.

"Iwanttocomein,please.Pleaseunlockthegate."

"Whosay?"

"Why-"Shefaltered."I'msupposedtocomein,"shesaidatlast.

"Whatfor?"

"Iamexpected."OramI?shewonderedsuddenly;isthisasfarasIgo?

"Whoby?"

Sheknew,ofcourse,thathewasdelightinginexceedinghisauthority,asthoughoncehemovedtounlockthegatehewouldlosethelittletemporarysuperiorityhethoughthehad-andwhatsuperiorityhaveIshewondered;Iamoutsidethegate,afterall.Shecouldalreadyseethatlosinghertemper,whichshedidrarelybecauseshewassoafraidofbeingineffectual,wouldonlyturnhimaway,leavingherstilloutsidethegate,railingfutilely.Shecouldevenanticipatehisinnocenceifhewerereprovedlaterforthisarrogance-themaliciouslyvacantgrin,thewide,blankeyes,thewhiningvoiceprotestingthathewouldhaveletherin,heplannedtoletherin,buthowcouldhebesure?Hehadhisorders,didn'the?Andhehadtodowhathewastold?He'dbetheonetogetintrouble,wouldn'the,ifheletinsomeonewasn'tsupposedtobeinside?Shecouldanticipatehisshrug,and,picturinghim,laughed,perhapstheworstthingshecouldhavedone.

Eyingher,hemovedbackfromthegate."Youbettercomebacklater,"hesaid,andturnedhisbackwithanairofvirtuoustriumph.

"Listen,"shecalledafterhim,stilltryingnottosoundangry,IamoneofDoctorMontague'sguests;hewillbeexpectingmeinthehouse-pleaselistentome!"

Heturnedandgrinnedather."Theycouldn'trightlybeexpectingyou,"hesaid,"seeingasyou'retheonlyone'scome,sofar."

"Doyoumeanthatthere'ssnooneinthehouse?

"NooneIknowof.Maybemywife,gettingitfixedup.Sotheycouldn'tbethereexactlyexpectingyou,nowcouldthey?"

Shesatbackagainstthecarseatandclosedhereyes.HillHouse,shethought,you'reashardtogetintoasheaven.

"Isupposeyouknowwhatyou'reaskingfor,cominghere?Isupposetheytoldyou,backinthecity?Youhearanythingaboutthisplace?"

"IheardthatIwasinvitedhereasaguestofDoctorMontague's.WhenyouopenthegatesIwillgoinside."

"I'llopenthem;I'mgoingtoopenthem.Ijustwanttobesureyouknowwhat'swaitingforyouinthere.Youeverbeenherebefore?Oneofthefamily,maybe?"Helookedathernow,peeringthroughthebars,hisjeeringfaceonemorebarrier,afterpadlockandchain."Ican'tletyouintillI'msure,canI?What'dyousayyournamewas?"

Shesighed."EleanorVance."

"Notoneofthefamilythen,Iguess.Youeverhearanythingaboutthisplace?"

It'smychance,Isuppose,shethought;I'mbeinggivenalastchance.Icouldturnmycararoundrighthereandnowinfrontofthesegatesandgoawayfromhere,andnoonewouldblameme.Anyonehasarighttorunaway.Sheputherheadoutthroughthecarwindowandsaidwithfury,"MynameisEleanorVance.IamexpectedinHillHouse.Unlockthosegatesatonce."

"Allright,allright."Deliberately,makingawhollyunnecessarydisplayoffittingthekeyandturningit,heopenedthepadlockandloosenedthechainandswungthegatesjustwideenoughforthecartocomethrough.Eleanormovedthecarslowly,butthealacritywithwhichheleapedtothesideoftheroadmadeherthinkforaminutethathehadperceivedthefleetingimpulsecrossinghermind;shelaughed,andthenstoppedthecarbecausehewascomingtowardher-safely,fromtheside.

"Youwon'tlikeit,"hesaid."You'llbesorryIeveropenedthatgate."

"Outoftheway,please,"shesaid."You'veheldmeuplongenough."

"Youthinktheycouldgetanyoneelsetoopenthisgate?Youthinkanyoneelse'dstayaroundherethatlong,exceptmeandmywife?Youthinkwecan'thavethingsjustaboutthewaywewantthem,longaswestayaroundhereand

fixupthehouseandopenthegatesforallyoucitypeoplethinkyouknoweverything?"

"Pleasegetawayfrommycar."Shedarednotadmittoherselfthathefrightenedher,forfearthathemightperceiveit;hisnearness,leaningagainstthesideofthecar,wasugly,andhisenormousresentmentpuzzledher;shehadcertainlymadehimopenthegateforher,butdidhethinkofthehouseandgardensinsideashisown?AnamefromDr.Montague'slettercameintohermind,andsheaskedcuriously,"AreyouDudley,thecaretaker?"

"Yes,I'mDudley,thecaretaker."Hemimickedher."Whoelseyouthinkwouldbearoundhere?"

Thehonestoldfamilyretainer,shethought,proudandloyalandthoroughlyunpleasant."Youandyourwifetakecareofthehouseallalone?"

"Whoelse?"Itwashisboast,hiscurse,hisrefrain.

Shemovedrestlessly,afraidtodrawawayfromhimtooobviously,andyetwanting,withsmallmotionsofstartingthecar,tomakehimstandaside."I'msureyou'llbeabletomakeusverycomfortable,youandyourwife,"shesaid,puttingatoneoffinalityintohervoice."Meanwhile,I'mveryanxioustogettothehouseassoonaspossible."

Hesnickereddisagreeably."Me,now,"hesaid,"me,Idon'thangaroundhereafterdark."

Grinning,satisfiedwithhimself,hestoodawayfromthecar,andEleanorwasgrateful,althoughawkwardstartingthecarunderhiseye;perhapshewillkeeppoppingoutatmeallalongthedrive,shethought,asneeringCheshireCat,yellingeachtimethatIshouldbehappytofindanyonewillingtohangaroundthisplace,untildark,anyway.ToshowthatshewasnotatallaffectedbythethoughtofthefaceofDudleythecaretakerbetweenthetreesshebegantowhistle,alittleannoyedtofindthatthesametunestillranthroughherhead."Presentmirthhathpresentlaughter…"Andshetoldherselfcrosslythatshemustreallymakeanefforttothinkofsomethingelse;shewassurethattherestofthewordsmustbemostunsuitable,tohidesostubbornlyfromhermemory,andprobablywhollydisreputabletobecaughtsingingonherarrivalatHillHouse.

Overthetrees,occasionally,betweenthemandthehills,shecaughtglimpsesofwhatmustbetheroofs,perhapsatower,ofHillHouse.TheymadehousessooddlybackwhenHillHousewasbuilt,shethought;theyputtowersandturretsandbuttressesandwoodenlaceonthem,evensometimesGothicspiresandgargoyles;nothingwaseverleftundecorated.PerhapsHillHousehasatower,orasecretchamber,orevenapassagewaygoingoffintothehillsandprobablyusedbysmugglers-althoughwhatcouldsmugglersfindtosmugglearoundtheselonelyhills?PerhapsIwillencounteradevilishlyhandsomesmugglerand…

Sheturnedhercarontothelaststretchofstraightdriveleadingherdirectly,facetoface,toHillHouseand,movingwithoutthought,pressedherfootonthebraketostallthecarandsat,staring.

Thehousewasvile.Sheshiveredandthought,thewordscomingfreelyintohermind,HillHouseisvile,itisdiseased;getawayfromhereatonce.

Chapter2Nohumaneyecanisolatetheunhappycoincidenceoflineandplacewhich

suggestsevilinthefaceofahouse,andyetsomehowamaniacjuxtaposition,abadlyturnedangle,somechancemeetingofroofandsky,turnedHillHouseintoaplaceofdespair,morefrighteningbecausethefaceofHillHouseseemedawake,withawatchfulnessfromtheblankwindowsandatouchofgleeintheeyebrowofacornice.Almostanyhouse,caughtunexpectedlyoratanoddangle,canturnadeeplyhumorouslookonawatchingperson;evenamischievouslittlechimney,oradormerlikeadimple,cancatchupabeholderwithasenseoffellowship;butahousearrogantandhating,neveroffguard,canonlybeevil.Thishouse,whichseemedsomehowtohaveformeditself,flyingtogetherintoitsownpowerfulpatternunderthehandsofitsbuilders,fittingitselfintoitsownconstructionoflinesandangles,reareditsgreatheadbackagainsttheskywithoutconcessiontohumanity.Itwasahousewithoutkindness,nevermeanttobelivedin,notafitplaceforpeopleorforloveorforhope.Exorcismcannotalterthecountenanceofahouse;HillHousewouldstayasitwasuntilitwasdestroyed.

Ishouldhaveturnedbackatthegate,Eleanorthought.Thehousehadcaughtherwithanatavisticturninthepitofthestomach,andshelookedalongthelinesofitsroofs,fruitlesslyendeavoringtolocatethebadness,whateverdweltthere;herhandsturnednervouslycoldsothatshefumbled,tryingtotakeoutacigarette,andbeyondeverythingelseshewasafraid,listeningtothesickvoiceinsideherwhichwhispered,Getawayfromhere,getaway.

ButthisiswhatIcamesofartofind,shetoldherself,Ican'tgoback.Besides,hewouldlaughatmeifItriedtogetbackoutthroughthatgate.

Tryingnottolookupatthehouse-andshecouldnotevenhavetolditscolor,oritsstyle,oritssize,exceptthatitwasenormousanddark,lookingdownoverher-shestartedthecaragain,anddroveupthelastbitofdrivewaydirectlytothesteps,whichledinaforthright,no-escapemannerontotheverandaandaimedatthefrontdoor.Thedriveturnedoffoneitherside,toencirclethehouse,andprobablylatershecouldtakehercararoundandfindabuildingofsomekindtoputitin;nowshefeltuneasilythatshedidnotcaretocutoffhermeansofdeparturetoocompletely.Sheturnedthecarjustenoughtomoveitofftooneside,outofthewayoflaterarrivals-itwouldbeapity,shethoughtgrimly,foranyonetogetafirstlookatthishousewithanythingsocomfortingasahuman

automobileparkedinfrontofit-andgotout,takinghersuitcaseandhercoat.Well,shethoughtinadequately,hereIam.

Itwasanactofmoralstrengthtoliftherfootandsetitonthebottomstep,andshethoughtthatherdeepunwillingnesstotouchHillHouseforthefirsttimecamedirectlyfromthevividfeelingthatitwaswaitingforher,evil,butpatient.Journeysendinloversmeeting,shethought,rememberinghersongatlast,andlaughed,standingonthestepsofHillHouse,journeysendinloversmeeting,andsheputherfeetdownfirmlyandwentuptotheverandaandthedoor.HillHousecamearoundherinarush;shewasenshadowed,andthesoundofherfeetonthewoodoftheverandawasanoutrageintheuttersilence,asthoughithadbeenaverylongtimesincefeetstampedacrosstheboardsofHillHouse.Shebroughtherhanduptotheheavyironknockerthathadachild'sface,determinedtomakemorenoiseandyetmore,sothatHillHousemightbeverysureshewasthere,andthenthedooropenedwithoutwarningandshewaslookingatawomanwho,iflikeevermeritedlike,couldonlybethewifeofthemanatthegate.

"Mrs.Dudley?"shesaid,catchingherbreath."I'mEleanorVance.I'mexpected."

Silentlythewomanstoodaside.Herapronwasclean,herhairwasneat,andyetshegaveanindefinableairofdirtiness,quiteinkeepingwithherhusband,andthesuspicioussullennessofherfacewasamatchforthemaliciouspetulanceofhis.No,Eleanortoldherself,it'spartlybecauseeverythingseemssodarkaroundhere,andpartlybecauseIexpectedthatman'swifetobeugly.IfIhadn'tseenHillHouse,wouldIbesounfairtothesepeople?Theyonlytakecareofit,afterall.

Thehallinwhichtheystoodwasoverfullofdarkwoodandweightycarving,dimundertheheavinessofthestaircase,whichlaybackfromthefartherend.Abovethereseemedtobeanotherhallway,goingthewidthofthehouse;shecouldseeawidelandingandthen,acrossthestaircasewell,doorsclosedalongtheupperhail.Oneithersideofhernowweregreatdoubledoors,carvedwithfruitandgrainandlivingthings;allthedoorsshecouldseeinthishousewereclosed.

Whenshetriedtospeak,hervoicewasdrownedinthedimstillness,andshehadtotryagaintomakeasound."Canyoutakemetomyroom?"sheaskedatlast,gesturingtowardhersuitcaseonthefloorandwatchingthewavering

reflectionofherhandgoingdownanddownintothedeepshadowsofthepolishedfloor,

"IgatherI'mthefirstonehere.You-youdidsayyouwereMrs.Dudley?"IthinkI'mgoingtocry,shethought,likeachildsobbingandwailing,Idon'tlikeithere…

Mrs.Dudleyturnedandstartedupthestairs,andEleanortookuphersuitcaseandfollowed,hurryingafteranythingelsealiveinthishouse.No,shethought,Idon'tlikeithere.Mrs.Dudleycametothetopofthestairsandturnedright,andEleanorsawthatwithsomerareperceptionthebuildersofthehousehadgivenupanyattemptatstyle-probablyafterrealizingwhatthehousewasgoingtobe,whethertheychoseitornot-andhad,onthissecondfloor,setinalong,straighthailtoaccommodatethedoorstothebedrooms;shehadaquickimpressionofthebuildersfinishingoffthesecondandthirdstoriesofthehousewithakindofindecenthaste,eagertofinishtheirworkwithoutembellishmentandgetoutofthere,followingthesimplestpossiblepatternfortherooms.Attheleftendofthehailwasasecondstaircase,probablygoingfromservants'roomsonthethirdfloordownpastthesecondtotheserviceroomsbelow;attherightendofthehailanotherroomhadbeensetin,perhaps,sinceitwasontheend,togetthemaximumamountofsunandlight.Exceptforacontinuationofthedarkwoodwork,andwhatlookedlikeaseriesofpoorlyexecutedengravingsarrangedwithunlovelyexactnessalongthehailineitherdirection,nothingbrokethestraightnessofthehailexcepttheseriesofdoors,allclosed.

Mrs.Dudleycrossedthehailandopenedadoor,perhapsatrandom."Thisistheblueroom,"shesaid.

FromtheturninthestaircaseEleanorassumedthattheroomwouldbeatthefrontofthehouse;sisterAnne,sisterAnne,shethought,andmovedgratefullytowardthelightfromtheroom.

"Hownice,"shesaid,standinginthedoorway,butonlyfromthesensethatshemustsaysomething;itwasnotniceatall,andonlybarelytolerable;itheldenclosedthesameclashingdisharmonythatmarkedHillHousethroughout.

Mrs.DudleyturnedasidetoletEleanorcomein,andspoke,apparentlytothewall."Isetdinneronthedining-roomsideboardatsixsharp,"shesaid."Youcanserveyourselves.Iclearupinthemorning.Ihavebreakfastreadyforyouat

nine.That'sthewayIagreedtodo.Ican'tkeeptheroomsupthewayyou'dlike,butthere'snooneelseyoucouldgetthatwouldhelpme.Idon'twaitonpeople.WhatIagreedto,itdoesn'tmeanIwaitonpeople."

Eleanornodded,standinguncertainlyinthedoorway.

"Idon'tstayafterIsetoutdinner,"Mrs.Dudleywenton."Notafteritbeginstogetdark.Ileavebeforedarkcomes."

"Iknow,"Eleanorsaid.

"Weliveoverinthetown,sixmilesaway."

"Yes,"Eleanorsaid,rememberingHillsdale.

"Sotherewon'tbeanyonearoundifyouneedhelp."

"Iunderstand."

"Wecouldn'tevenhearyou,inthenight."

"Idon'tsuppose-"

"Noonecould.Noonelivesanynearerthanthetown.Nooneelsewillcomeanynearerthanthat."

"Iknow,"Eleanorsaidtiredly.

"Inthenight,"Mrs.Dudleysaid,andsmiledoutright."Inthedark,"shesaid,andclosedthedoorbehindher.

Eleanoralmostgiggled,thinkingofherselfcalling,"Oh,Mrs.Dudley,Ineedyourhelpinthedark,"andthensheshivered.

2-2Shestoodalonebesidehersuitcase,hercoatstillhangingoverherarm,

thoroughlymiserable,tellingherselfhelplessly,journeysendinloversmeeting,andwishingshecouldgohome.BehindherlaythedarkstaircaseandthepolishedhallwayandthegreatfrontdoorandMrs.DudleyandDudleylaughingatthegateandthepadlocksandHillsdaleandthecottageofflowersandthefamilyattheinnandtheoleandergardenandthehousewiththestonelionsinfront,andtheyhadbroughther,underDr.Montague'sunerringeye,totheblueroomatHillHouse.It'sawful,shethought,unwillingtomove,sincemotionmightimplyacceptance,agestureofmovingin,it'sawfulandIdon'twanttostay;buttherewasnowhereelsetogo;Dr.Montague'sletterhadbroughtherthisfarandcouldtakehernofarther.Afteraminuteshesighedandshookherheadandwalkedacrosstosethersuitcasedownonthebed.

HereIamintheblueroomofHillHouse,shesaidhalfaloud,althoughitwasrealenough,andbeyondallquestionablueroom.Therewerebluedimitycurtainsoverthetwowindows,whichlookedoutovertheroofoftheverandaontothelawn,andabluefiguredrugonthefloor,andabluespreadonthebedandabluequiltatthefoot.Thewalls,darkwoodworktoshoulderheight,wereblue-figuredpaperabove,withadesignoftinyblueflowers,wreathedandgatheredanddelicate.PerhapssomeonehadoncehopedtolightentheairoftheblueroominHillHousewithadaintywallpaper,notseeinghowsuchahopewouldevaporateinHillHouse,leavingonlythefaintesthintofitsexistence,likeanalmostinaudible,echoofsobbingfaraway…Eleanorshookherself,turningtoseetheroomcomplete.Ithadanunbelievablyfaultydesignwhichleftitchillinglywronginallitsdimensions,sothatthewallsseemedalwaysinonedirectionafractionlongerthantheeyecouldendure,andinanotherdirectionafractionlessthanthebarestpossibletolerablelength;thisiswheretheywantmetosleep,Eleanorthoughtincredulously;whatnightmaresarewaiting,shadowed,inthosehighcorners-whatbreathofmindlessfearwilldriftacrossmymouth…andshookherselfagain.Really,shetoldherself,really,Eleanor.

Sheopenedhersuitcaseonthehighbedand,slippingoffherstiffcityshoeswithgratefulrelief,begantounpack,atthebackofhermindthethoroughlyfemaleconvictionthatthebestwaytosootheatroubledmindistoputoncomfortableshoes.Yesterday,packinghersuitcaseinthecityshehadchosenclotheswhichsheassumedwouldbesuitableforwearinginanisolatedcountryhouse;shehadevenrunoutatthelastminuteandbought-excitedatherown

daring-twopairsofslacks,somethingshehadnotworninmoreyearsthanshecouldremember.Motherwouldbefurious,shehadthought,packingtheslacksdownatthebottomofhersuitcasesothatsheneednottakethemout,needneverletanyoneknowshehadthem,incaseshelosthercourage.Now,inHillHouse,theynolongerseemedsonew;sheunpackedcarelessly,settingdressescrookedlyonhangers,tossingtheslacksinto.thebottomdrawerofthehighmarble-toppeddresser,throwinghercityshoesintoacornerofthegreatwardrobe.Shewasboredalreadywiththebooksshehadbrought;Iamprobablynotgoingtostayanyway,shethought,andclosedheremptysuitcaseandsetitinthewardrobecorner;itwon'ttakemefiveminutestopackagain.Shediscoveredthatshehadbeentryingtoputhersuitcasedownwithoutmakingasoundandthenrealizedthatwhilesheunpackedshehadbeeninherstockingfeet,tryingtomoveassilentlyaspossible,asthoughstillnesswerevitalinHillHouse;sherememberedthatMrs.Dudleyhadalsowalkedwithoutsound.WhenshestoodstillinthemiddleoftheroomthepressingsilenceofHillHousecamebackallaroundher.Iamlikeasmallcreatureswallowedwholebyamonster,shethought,andthemonsterfeelsmytinylittlemovementsinside."No,"shesaidaloud,andtheonewordechoed.Shewentquicklyacrosstheroomandpushedasidethebluedimitycurtains,butthesunlightcameonlypalelythroughthethickglassofthewindows,andshecouldseeonlytheroofoftheverandaandastretchofthelawnbeyond.Somewheredowntherewasherlittlecar,whichcouldtakeherawayagain.Journeysendinloversmeeting,shethought;itwasmyownchoicetocome.Thensherealizedthatshewasafraidtogobackacrosstheroom.

Shewasstandingwithherbacktothewindow,lookingfromthedoortothewardrobetothedressertothebed,tellingherselfthatshewasnotafraidatall,whensheheard,farbelow,thesoundsofacardoorslammingandthenquickfootsteps,almostdancing,upthestepsandacrosstheveranda,andthen,shockingly,thecrashofthegreatironknockercomingdown.Why,shethought,thereareotherpeoplecoming;Iamnotgoingtobehereallalone.Almostlaughing,sheranacrosstheroomandintothehall,tolookdownthestaircaseintothehallwaybelow.

"Thankheavenyou'rehere,"she'said,peeringthroughthedimness,"thankheavensomebody'shere."SherealizedwithoutsurprisethatshewasspeakingasthoughMrs.Dudleycouldnothearher,althoughMrs.Dudleystood,straightandpale,inthehall."Comeonup,"Eleanorsaid,"you'llhavetocarryyourownsuitcase."Shewasbreathlessandseemedunabletostoptalking,herusual

shynessmeltedawaybyrelief."Myname'sEleanorVance,"shesaid,"andI'msogladyou'rehere."

"I'mTheodora.JustTheodora.Thisbloodyhouse-"

"It'sjustasbaduphere.Comeonup.Makehergiveyoutheroomnexttomine."

TheodoracameuptheheavystairwayafterMrs.Dudley,lookingincredulouslyatthestained-glasswindowonthelanding,themarbleurninaniche,thepatternedcarpet.HersuitcasewasconsiderablylargerthanEleanor's,andconsiderablymoreluxurious,andEleanorcameforwardtohelpher,gladthatherownthingsweresafelyputawayoutofsight."Waittillyouseethebedrooms,"Eleanorsaid."Mineusedtobetheembalmingroom,Ithink."

"It'sthehomeI'vealwaysdreamedof,"Theodorasaid."AlittlehideawaywhereIcanbealonewithmythoughts.Particularlyifmythoughtshappenedtobeaboutmurderorsuicideor-"

"Greenroom,"Mrs.Dudleysaidcoldly,andEleanorsensed,withaquickturnofapprehension,thatflippantorcriticaltalkaboutthehousebotheredMrs.Dudleyinsomemanner;maybeshethinksitcanhearus,Eleanorthought,andthenwassorryshehadthoughtit.Perhapssheshivered,becauseTheodoraturnedwithaquicksmileandtouchedhershouldergently,reassuringly;sheischarming,Eleanorthought,smilingback,notatallthesortofpersonwhobelongsinthisdreary,darkplace,butthen,probably,Idon'tbelonghereeither;IamnotthesortofpersonforHillHousebutIcan'tthinkofanybodywhowouldbe.Shelaughedthen,watchingTheodora'sexpressionasshestoodinthedoorwayofthegreenroom.

"GoodLord,"Theodorasaid,lookingsidewaysatEleanor.

"Howperfectlyenchanting.Apositivebower."

"Isetdinneronthedining-roomsideboardatsixsharp,"Mrs.Dudleysaid."Youcanserveyourselves.Iclearupinthemorning.Ihavebreakfastreadyforyouatnine.That'sthewayIagreedtodo."

"You'refrightened,"Theodorasaid,watchingEleanor.

"Ican'tkeeptheroomsupthewayyou'dlike,buttheresnooneelseyoucouldgetthatwouldhelpme.Idon'twaitonpeople.WhatIagreedto,itdoesn'tmeanIwaitonpeople."

"ItwasjustwhenIthoughtIwasallalone,"Eleanorsaid.

"Idon'tstayaftersix.Notafteritbeginstogetdark."

"I'mherenow,"Theodorasaid,"soit'sallright."

"Wehaveaconnectingbathroom,"Eleanorsaidabsurdly.

"Theroomsareexactlyalike."

GreendimitycurtainshungoverthewindowsinTheodora'sroom,thewallpaperwasdeckedwithgreengarlands,thebedspreadandquiltweregreen,themarble-toppeddresserandthehugewardrobewerethesame."I'veneverseensuchawfulplacesinmylife,"Eleanorsaid,hervoicerising.

"Liketheverybesthotels,"Theodorasaid,"oranygoodgirl'scamp."

"Ileavebeforedarkcomes,"Mrs.Dudleywenton.

"Noonecanhearyouifyouscreaminthenight,"EleanortoldTheodora.Sherealizedthatshewasclutchingatthedoorknoband,underTheodora'squizzicaleye,unclenchedherfingersandwalkedsteadilyacrosstheroom."We'llhavetofindsomewayofopeningthesewindows,"shesaid.

"Sotherewon'tbeanyonearoundifyouneedhelp,"Mrs.Dudleysaid."Wecouldn'thearyou,eveninthenight.Noonecould."

"Allrightnow?"Theodoraasked,andEleanornodded.

"Noonelivesanynearerthanthetown.Nooneelsewillcomeanynearerthanthat."

"You'reprobablyjusthungry,"Theodorasaid."AndI'mstarvedmyself."Shesethersuitcaseonthebedandslippedoffhershoes."Nothing,"shesaid,"upsetsmemorethanbeinghungry;Isnarlandsnapandburstintotears."Sheliftedapairofsoftlytailoredslacksoutofthesuitcase.

"Inthenight,"Mrs.Dudleysaid.Shesmiled."Inthedark,"shesaid,andclosedthedoorbehindher.

AfteraminuteEleanorsaid,"Shealsowalkswithoutmakingasound."

"Delightfuloldbody."Theodoraturned,regardingherroom.

"Itakeitback,thataboutthebesthotels,"shesaid."It'salittlebitlikeaboardingschoolIwenttoforawhile."

"Comeandseemine,"Eleanorsaid.Sheopenedthebathroomdoorandledthewayintoherblueroom."Iwasallunpackedandthinkingaboutpackingagainwhenyoucame.

"Poorbaby.You'recertainlystarving.AllIcouldthinkofwhenIgotalookattheplacefromoutsidewaswhatfunitwouldbetostandoutthereandwatchitburndown.Maybebeforeweleave…"

"Itwasterrible,beingherealone."

"Youshouldhaveseenthatboardingschoolofmineduringvacations."Theodorawentbackintoherownroomand,withthesenseofmovementandsoundinthetworooms,Eleanorfeltmorecheerful.Shestraightenedherclothesonthehangersinthewardrobeandsetherbooksevenlyonthebedtable."Youknow,"Theodoracalledfromtheotherroom,"itiskindoflikethefirstdayatschool;everything'suglyandstrange,andyoudon'tknowanybody,andyou'reafraideveryone'sgoingtolaughatyourclothes."

Eleanor,whohadopenedthedresserdrawertotakeoutapairofslacks,stoppedandthenlaughedandthrewtheslacksonthebed.

"DidIunderstandcorrectly,"Theodorawenton,"thatMrs.Dudleyisnotgoingtocomeifwescreaminthenight?"

"Itwasnotwhatsheagreedto.Didyoumeettheamiableoldretaineratthegate?"

"Wehadalovelychat.HesaidIcouldn'tcomeinandIsaidIcouldandthenItriedtorunhimdownwithmycarbuthejumped.Look,doyouthinkwehavetositaroundhereinourroomsandwait?I'dliketochangeintosomething

comfortable-unlesswedressfordinner,doyouthink?"

"Iwon'tifyouwon't."

"Iwon'tifyouwon't.Theycan'tfightbothofus.Anyway,let'sgetoutofhereandgoexploring;Iwouldverymuchliketogetthisroofofffromovermyhead."

"Itgetsdarksoearly,inthesehills,withallthetrees..Eleanorwenttothewindowagain,buttherewasstillsunlightslantingacrossthelawn.

"Itwon'tbereallydarkfornearlyanhour.Iwanttogooutsideandrollonthegrass."

Eleanorchosearedsweater,thinkingthatinthisroominthishousetheredofthesweaterandtheredofthesandalsboughttomatchitwouldalmostcertainlybeutterlyatwarwitheachother,althoughtheyhadbeencloseenoughyesterdayinthecity.Servesmerightanyway,shethought,forwantingtowearsuchthings;Ineverdidbefore.Butshelookedoddlywell,itseemedtoherasshestoodbythelongmirroronthewardrobedoor,almostcomfortable."Doyouhaveanyideawhoelseiscoming?"sheasked."Orwhen?"

"DoctorMontague,"Theodorasaid.Ithoughthe'dbeherebeforeanyoneelse."

"HaveyouknownDoctorMontaguelong?"

"Nevermethim,"Theodorasaid."Haveyou?"

"Never.Youalmostready?"

"Allready."TheodoracamethroughthebathroomdoorintoEleanor'sroom;sheislovely,Eleanorthought,turningtolook;IwishIwerelovely.Theodorawaswearingavividyellowshirt,andEleanorlaughedandsaid,"Youbringmorelightintothisroomthanthewindow."

TheodoracameoverandregardedherselfapprovinglyinEleanor'smirror."Ifeel,"shesaid,"thatinthisdrearyplaceitisourdutytolookasbrightaspossible.Iapproveofyourredsweater;thetwoofuswillbevisiblefromoneendofHillHousetotheother."Stilllookingintothemirror,sheasked,"I

supposeDoctorMontaguewrotetoyou?"

"Yes."Eleanorwasembarrassed."Ididn'tknow,atfirst,whetheritwasajokeornot.Butmybrother-in-lawcheckeduponhim."

"Youknow,"Theodorasaidslowly,"upuntilthelastminute-whenIgottothegates,Iguess-IneverreallythoughttherewouldbeaHillHouse.Youdon'tgoaroundexpectingthingslikethistohappen."

"Butsomeofusgoaroundhoping,"Eleanorsaid.

TheodoralaughedandswungaroundbeforethemirrorandcaughtEleanor'shand."Fellowbabeinthewoods,"shesaid,"let'sgoexploring."

"Wecan'tgofarawayfromthehouse-"

"Ipromisenottogoonestepfartherthanyousay.DoyouthinkwehavetocheckinandoutwithMrs.Dudley?"

"Sheprobablywatcheseverymovewemake,anyway;it'sprobablypartofwhatsheagreedto."

"Agreedtowithwhom,Iwonder?CountDracula?"

"YouthinkhelivesinHillHouse?"

"Ithinkhespendsallhisweekendshere;IswearIsawbatsinthewoodworkdownstairs.Follow,follow."

Theyrandownstairs,movingwithcolorandlifeagainstthedarkwoodworkandthecloudedlightofthestairs,theirfeetclattering,andMrs.Dudleystoodbelowandwatchedtheminsilence.

"We'regoingexploring,Mrs.Dudley,"Theodorasaidlightly.

"We'llbeoutsidesomewhere."

"Butwe'llbebacksoon,"Eleanoradded.

"Isetdinneronthesideboardatsixo'clock,"Mrs.Dudleyexplained.

Eleanor,tugging,gotthegreatfrontdooropen;itwasjustasheavyasitlooked,andshethought,Wewillreallyhavetofindsomeeasierwaytogetbackin."Leavethisopen,"shesaidoverhershouldertoTheodora."It'sterriblyheavy.Getoneofthosebigvasesandpropitopen."

Theodorawheeledoneofthebigstonevasesfromthecornerofthehall,andtheystooditinthedoorwayandrestedthedooragainstit.Thefadingsunlightoutsidewasbrightafterthedarknessofthehouse,andtheairwasfreshandsweet.BehindthemMrs.Dudleymovedthevaseagain,andthebigdoorslammedshut.

"Lovableoldthing,"Theodorasaidtothecloseddoor.Foramomentherfacewasthinwithanger,andEleanorthought,Ihopesheneverlooksatmelikethat,andwassurprised,rememberingthatshewasalwaysshywithstrangers,awkwardandtimid,andyethadcomeinnomorethanhalfanhourtothinkofTheodoraascloseandvital,someonewhoseangerwouldbefrightening."Ithink,"Eleanorsaidhesitantly,andrelaxed,becausewhenshespokeTheodoraturnedandsmiledagain,"IthinkthatduringthedaylighthourswhenMrs.DudleyisaroundIshallfindmyselfsomeabsorbingoccupationfar,farfromthehouse.Rollingthetenniscourt,perhaps.Ortendingthegrapesinthehothouse."

"PerhapsyoucouldhelpDudleywiththegates."

"Orlookfornamelessgravesinthenettlepatch."

Theywerestandingbytherailoftheveranda;fromtheretheycouldseedownthedrivetothepointwhereitturnedamongthetreesagain,anddownoverthesoftcurveofthehillstothedistantsmalllinewhichmighthavebeenthemainhighway,theroadbacktothecitiesfromwhichtheyhadcome.Exceptforthewireswhichrantothehousefromaspotamongthetrees,therewasnoevidencethatHillHousebelongedinanywaytotherestoftheworld.Eleanorturnedandfollowedtheveranda;itwent,apparently,allaroundthehouse."Oh,look,"shesaid,turningthecorner.

Behindthehousethehillswerepiledingreatpressingmasses,floodedwithsummergreennow,rich,andstill.

"It'swhytheycalleditHillHouse,"Eleanorsaidinadequately.

"It'saltogetherVictorian,"Theodorasaid."Theysimplywallowedinthiskind

ofgreatbillowingoverdonesortofthingandburiedthemselvesinfoldsofvelvetandtasselsandpurpleplush.Anyonebeforethemorafterwouldhaveputthishouserightupthereontopofthosehillswhereitbelongs,insteadofsnugglingitdownhere."

"Ifitwereontopofthehilleveryonecouldseeit.Ivoteforkeepingitwellhiddenwhereitis."

"AllthetimeI'mhereI'mgoingtobeterrified,"Theodorasaid,"thinkingoneofthosehillswillfallonus."

"Theydon'tfallonyou.Theyjustslidedown,silentlyandsecretly,rollingoveryouwhileyoutrytorunaway."

"Thankyou,"Theodorasaidinasmallvoice."WhatMrs.Dudleyhasstartedyouhavecompletednicely.Ishallpackandgohomeatonce."

Believingherforaminute,Eleanorturnedandstared,andthensawtheamusementonherfaceandthought,She'smuchbraverthanIam.Unexpectedly-althoughitwaslatertobecomeafamiliarnote,arecognizableattributeofwhatwastomean"Theodora"inEleanor'smind-TheodoracaughtatEleanor'sthought,andansweredher."Don'tbesoafraidallthetime,"shesaidandreachedouttotouchEleanor'scheekwithonefinger.

"Weneverknowwhereourcourageiscomingfrom."Then,quickly,sherandownthestepsandoutontothelawnbetweenthetallgroupedtrees."Hurry,"shecalledback,"Iwanttoseeifthere'sabrooksomewhere."

"Wecan'tgotoofar,"Eleanorsaid,following.Liketwochildrentheyranacrossthegrass,bothwelcomingthesuddenopennessofclearspacesafterevenalittletimeinHillHouse,theirfeetgratefulforthegrassafterthesolidfloors;withaninstinctalmostanimal,theyfollowedthesoundandsmellofwater."Overhere,"Theodorasaid,"alittlepath."

Itledthemtantalizinglyclosertothesoundofthewater,doublingbackandforththroughthetrees,givingthemoccasionalglimpsesdownthehilltothedriveway,leadingthemaroundoutofsightofthehouseacrossarockymeadow,andalwaysdownhill.AstheycameawayfromthehouseandoutofthetreestoplaceswherethesunlightcouldstillfindthemEleanorwaseasier,althoughshecouldseethatthesunwasdroppingdisturbinglyclosertotheheapedhills.She

calledtoTheodora,butTheodoraonlycalledback,"Follow,follow,"andrandownthepath.Suddenlyshestopped,breathlessandtottering,ontheveryedgeofthebrook,whichhadleapedupbeforeheralmostwithoutwarning;Eleanor,comingmoreslowlybehind,caughtatherhandandheldherbackandthen,laughing,theyfelltogetheragainstthebankwhichslopedsharplydowntothebrook.

"Theyliketosurpriseyouaroundhere,"Theodorasaid,gasping.

"Serveyourightifyouwentdivingin,"Eleanorsaid."Runninglikethat."

"It'spretty,isn'tit?"Thewaterofthebrookmovedquicklyinlittlelightedripples;ontheothersidethegrassgrewdowntotheedgeofthewaterandyellowandblueflowersleanedtheirheadsover;therewasaroundedsofthillthere,andperhapsmoremeadowbeyond,and,faraway,thegreathills,stillcatchingthelightofthesun."It'spretty,"Theodorasaidwithfinality.

"I'msureI'vebeenherebefore,"Eleanorsaid."Inabookoffairytales,perhaps."

"I'msureofit.Canyouskiprocks?"

"Thisiswheretheprincesscomestomeetthemagicgoldenfishwhoisreallyaprinceindisguise-"

"Hecouldn'tdrawmuchwater,thatgoldenfishofyours;itcan'tbemorethanthreeinchesdeep."

"Therearesteppingstonestogoacross,andlittlefishswimming,tinyones-minnows?"

"Princesindisguise,allofthem."Theodorastretchedinthesunonthebank,andyawned."Tadpoles?"shesuggested.

"Minnows.It'stoolatefortadpoles,silly,butIbetwecanfindfrogs'eggs.Iusedtocatchminnowsinmyhandsandletthemgo."

"Whatafarmer'swifeyoumighthavemade."

"Thisisaplaceforpicnics,withlunchbesidethebrookandhard-boiled

eggs."

Theodoralaughed."Chickensaladandchocolatecake."

"LemonadeinaThermosbottle.Spilledsalt."

Theodorarolledoverluxuriously."They'rewrongaboutants,youknow.Therewerealmostneverants.Cows,maybe,butIdon'tthinkIeverdidseeanantonapicnic."

"Wastherealwaysabullinafield?Didsomeonealwayssay,'butwecan'tgothroughthatfield;that'swherethebullis'?"

Theodoraopenedoneeye."Didyouusetohaveacomicuncle?Everyonealwayslaughed,whateverhesaid?Andheusedtotellyounottobeafraidofthebull-ifthebullcameafteryouallyouhadtodowasgrabtheringthroughhisnoseandswinghimaroundyourhead?"

Eleanortossedapebbleintothebrookandwatcheditsinkclearlytothebottom."Didyouhavealotofuncles?"

"Thousands.Doyou?"

AfteraminuteEleanorsaid,"Oh,yes.Bigonesandlittleonesandfatonesandthinones-"

"DoyouhaveanAuntEdna?"

"AuntMuriel."

"Kindofthin?Rimlessglasses?"

"Agarnetbrooch,"Eleanorsaid.

"Doesshewearakindofdarkreddresstofamilyparties?"

"Lacecuffs-"

"ThenIthinkwemustreallyberelated,"Theodorasaid."Didyouusetohavebracesonyourteeth?"

"No.Freckles."

"Iwenttothatprivateschoolwheretheymademelearntocurtsy."

"Ialwayshadcoldsallwinterlong.Mymothermademewearwoolenstockings."

"Mymothermademybrothertakemetodances,andIusedtocurtsylikemad.Mybrotherstillhatesme."

"Ifelldownduringthegraduationprocession."

"Iforgotmylinesintheoperetta."

"Iusedtowritepoetry."

"Yes,"Theodorasaid,"I'mpositivewe'rerecousins."Shesatup,laughing,andthenEleanorsaid,"Bequiet;there'ssomethingmovingoverthere."Frozen,shoulderspressedtogether,theystared,watchingthespotofhillsideacrossthebrookwherethegrassmoved,watchingsomethingunseenmoveslowlyacrossthebrightgreenhill,chillingthesunlightandthedancinglittlebrook."Whatisit?"Eleanorsaidinabreath,andTheodoraputastronghandonherwrist.

"It'sgone,"Theodorasaidclearly,andthesuncamebackanditwaswarmagain."Itwasarabbit,"Theodorasaid.

"Icouldn'tseeit,"Eleanorsaid.

"Isawittheminuteyouspoke,"Theodorasaidfirmly."Itwasarabbit;itwentoverthehillandoutofsight."

"We'vebeenawaytoolong,"Eleanorsaidandlookedupanxiouslyatthesuntouchingthehilltops.Shegotupquicklyandfoundthatherlegswerestifffromkneelingonthedampgrass.

"Imaginetwosplendidoldpicnic-goinggirlslikeus,"Theodorasaid,"afraidofarabbit."

Eleanorleaneddownandheldoutahandtohelpherup."We'dreallybetterhurryback,"shesaidand,becauseshedidnotherselfunderstandhercompelling

anxiety,added,"Theothersmightbetherebynow."

"We'llhavetocomebackhereforapicnicsoon,"Theodorasaid,followingcarefullyupthepath,whichwentsteadilyuphill.

"Wereallymusthaveagoodold-fashionedpicnicdownbythebrook."

"WecanaskMrs.Dudleytohard-boilsomeeggs."Eleanorstoppedonthepath,notturning."Theodora,"shesaid,"Idon'tthinkIcan,youknow.Idon'tthinkIreallywillbeabletodoit."

"Eleanor."Theodoraputanarmacrosshershoulders."Wouldyouletthemseparateusnow?Nowthatwe'vefoundoutwe'recousins?"

Chapter3Thesunwentdownsmoothlybehindthehills,slippingalmosteagerly,atlast,

intothepillowymasses.TherewerealreadylongshadowsonthelawnasEleanorandTheodoracameupthepathtowardthesideverandaofHillHouse,blessedlyhidingitsmadfaceinthegrowingdarkness.

"There'ssomeonewaitingthere,"Eleanorsaid,walkingmorequickly,andsosawLukeforthefirsttime.Journeysendinloversmeeting,shethought,andcouldonlysayinadequately,"Areyoulookingforus?"

Hehadcometotheverandarail,lookingdownattheminthedusk,andnowhebowedwithadeepwelcominggesture,"'Thesebeingdead,"'hesaid,"'thendeadmustIbe.'Ladies,ifyouaretheghostlyinhabitantsofHillHouse,Iamhereforever."

He'sreallykindofsilly,Eleanorthoughtsternly,andTheodorasaid,"Sorryweweren'theretomeetyou;we'vebeenexploring."

"Asouroldbeldamewithafaceofcurdswelcomedus,thankyou,"hesaid."'Howdy-do,'shetoldme,'IhopeIseeyoualivewhenIcomebackinthemorningandyourdinner'sonthesideboard.'Sayingwhich,shedepartedinalate-modelconvertiblewithFirstandSecondMurderers."

"Mrs.Dudley,"Theodorasaid."FirstMurderermustbeDudley-at-the-gate;IsupposetheotherwasCountDracula.Awholesomefamily."

"Sincewearelistingourcastofcharacters,"hesaid,"mynameisLukeSanderson."

Eleanorwasstartledintospeaking."Thenyou'reoneofthefamily?ThepeoplewhoownHillHouse?NotoneofDoctorMontague'sguests?"

"Iamoneofthefamily;somedaythisstatelypilewillbelongtome;untilthen,however,IamhereasoneofDoctorMontague'sguests."

Theodoragiggled."We,"shesaid,"areEleanorandTheodora,twolittlegirlswhowereplanningapicnicdownbythebrookandgotscaredhomebyarabbit."

"Igoinmortalterrorofrabbits,"Lukeagreedpolitely."MayIcomeifIcarrythepicnicbasket?"

"Youmaybringyourukuleleandstrumtouswhileweeatchickensandwiches.IsDoctorMontaguehere?"

"He'sinside,"Lukesaid,"gloatingoverhishauntedhouse."

Theyweresilentforaminute,wantingtomoveclosertogether,andthenTheodorasaidthinly,"Itdoesn'tsoundsofunny,doesit,nowit'sgettingdark?"

"Ladies,welcome."Andthegreatfrontdooropened."Comeinside.IamDoctorMontague."

3-2Thefourofthemstood,forthefirsttime,inthewide,darkentrancehallof

HillHouse.Aroundthemthehousesteadiedandlocatedthem,abovethemthehillssleptwatchfully,smalleddiesofairandsoundandmovementstirredandwaitedandwhispered,andthecenterofconsciousnesswassomehowthesmallspacewheretheystood,fourseparatedpeople,andlookedtrustinglyatoneanother.

"Iamveryhappythateveryonearrivedsafely,andontime,"DoctorMontaguesaid."Welcome,allofyou,welcometoHillHouse-althoughperhapsthatsentimentoughttocomemoreproperlyfromyou,myboy?Inanycase,welcome,welcome.Luke,myboy,canyoumakeamartini?"

3-3Dr.Montagueraisedhisglassandsippedhopefully,andsighed.

"Fair,"hesaid."Onlyfair,myboy.TooursuccessatHillHouse,however."

"Howwouldonereckonsuccess,exactly,inanaffairlikethis?"Lukeinquiredcuriously.

Thedoctorlaughed."Putit,then,"hesaid,"thatIhopethatallofuswillhaveanexcitingvisitandmybookwillrockmycolleaguesbackontheirheels.Icannotcallyourvisitavacation,althoughtosomeitmightseemso,becauseIamhopefulofyourworking-althoughwork,ofcourse,dependslargelyuponwhatistobedone,doesitnot?Notes,"hesaidwithrelief,asthoughfixingupononeunshakablesolidityinaworldoffog,"notes.Wewilltakenotes-tosome,anotunbearabletask."

"Solongasnoonemakesanypunsaboutspiritsandspirits,"Theodorasaid,holdingoutherglasstoLuketobefilled.

"Spirits?"Thedoctorpeeredather."Spirits?Yes,indeed.Ofcourse,noneofus…"Hehesitated,frowning."Certainlynot,"hesaidandtookthreequickagitatedsipsathiscocktail.

"Everything'ssostrange,"Eleanorsaid."Imean,thismorningIwaswonderingwhatHillHousewouldbelike,andnowIcan'tbelievethatit'sreal,andwe'rehere."

Theyweresittinginasmallroom,chosenbythedoctor,whohadledthemintoit,downanarrowcorridor,fumblingalittleatfirst,butthenfindinghisway.Itwasnotacozyroom,certainly.Ithadanunpleasantlyhighceiling,andanarrowtiledfireplacewhichlookedchillinspiteofthefirewhichLukehadlightedatonce;thechairsinwhichtheysatwereroundedandslippery,andthelightcomingthroughthecoloredbeadedshadesofthelampssentshadowsintothecorners.Theoverwhelmingsenseoftheroomwaspurple;beneaththeirfeetthecarpetingglowedindimconvolutedpatterns,thewallswerepaperedandgilt,andamarblecupidbeamedfatuouslydownatthemfromthemantel.Whentheyweresilentforamomentthequietweightofthehousepresseddownfromallaroundthem.Eleanor,wonderingifshewerereallyhereatall,andnot

dreamingofHillHousefromsomesafespotimpossiblyremote,lookedslowlyandcarefullyaroundtheroom,tellingherselfthatthiswasreal,thesethingsexisted,fromthetilesaroundthefireplacetothemarblecupid;thesepeopleweregoingtobeherfriends.Thedoctorwasroundandrosyandbeardedandlookedasthoughhemightbemoresuitablyestablishedbeforeafireinapleasantlittlesittingroom,withacatonhiskneeandarosylittlewifetobringhimjelliedscones,andyethewasundeniablytheDr.MontaguewhohadguidedEleanorhere,alittlemanbothknowledgeableandstubborn.AcrossthefirefromthedoctorwasTheodora,whohadgoneunerringlytothemostnearlycomfortablechair,hadwriggledherselfintoitsomehowwithherlegsoverthearmandherheadtuckedinagainsttheback;shewaslikeacat,Eleanorthought,andclearlyacatwaitingforitsdinner.Lukewasnotstillforaminute,butmovedbackandforthacrosstheshadows,fillingglasses,stirringthefire,touchingthemarblecupid;hewasbrightinthefirelight,andrestless.Theywereallsilent,lookingintothefire,lazyaftertheirseveraljourneys,andEleanorthought,Iamthefourthpersoninthisroom;Iamone'ofthem;Ibelong.

"Sinceweareallhere,"Lukesaidsuddenly,asthoughtherehadbeennopauseintheconversation,"shouldn'twegetacquainted?Weknowonlynames,sofar.IknowthatitisEleanor,here,whoiswearingaredsweater,andconsequentlyitmustbeTheodorawhowearsyellow-"

"DoctorMontaguehasabeard,"Theodorasaid,"soyoumustbeLuke."

"AndyouareTheodora,"Eleanorsaid,"becauseIam.Eleanor."AnEleanor,shetoldherselftriumphantly,whobelongs,whoistalkingeasily,whoissittingbythefirewithherfriends.

"Thereforeyouarewearingtheredsweater,"Theodoraexplainedtohersoberly.

"Ihavenobeard,"Lukesaid,"sohemustbeDoctorMontague."

"Ihaveabeard,"Dr.Montaguesaid,pleased,andlookedaroundatthemwithahappybeam."Mywife,"hetoldthem,"likesamantowearabeard.Manywomen,ontheotherhand,findabearddistasteful.Aclean-shavenman-you'llexcuseme,myboy-neverlooksfullydressed,mywifetellsme."HeheldouthisglasstoLuke.

"NowthatIknowwhichofusisme,"Lukesaid,"letmeidentifymyself

further.Iam,inprivatelife-assumingthatthisispubliclifeandtherestoftheworldisactuallyprivate-letmesee,abullfighter.Yes.Abullfighter."

"IlovemylovewithaB,"Eleanorsaidinspiteofherself,"becauseheisbearded."

"Verytrue."Lukenoddedather."ThatmakesmeDoctorMontague.IliveinBangkok,andmyhobbyisbotheringwomen."

"Notatall,"Dr.Montagueprotested,amused."IliveinBelmont."

TheodoralaughedandgaveLukethatquick,understandingglanceshehadearliergivenEleanor.Eleanor,watching,thoughtwrylythatitmightsometimesbeoppressivetobeforlongaroundonesoimmediatelyintune,soperceptive,asTheodora."Iambyprofessionanartist'smodel,"Eleanorsaidquickly,tosilenceherownthoughts."Iliveamad,abandonedlife,drapedinashawlandgoingfromgarrettogarret."

"Areyouheartlessandwanton?"Lukeasked."Orareyouoneofthefragilecreatureswhowillfallinlovewithalord'ssonandpineaway?"

"Losingallyourbeautyandcoughingagooddeal?"Theodoraadded.

"IratherthinkIhaveaheartofgold,"Eleanorsaidreflectively.

"Atanyrate,myaffairsarethetalkofthecafés."Dearme,shethought.Dearme.

"Alas,"Theodorasaid,"Iamalord'sdaughter.OrdinarilyIgocladinsilkandlaceandclothofgold,butIhaveborrowedmymaid'sfinerytoappearamongyou.ImayofcoursebecomesoenamoredofthecommonlifethatIwillnevergoback,andthepoorgirlwillhavetogetherselfnewclothes.Andyou,DoctorMontague?"

Hesmiledinthefirelight."Apilgrim.Awanderer."

"Trulyacongeniallittlegroup,"Lukesaidapprovingly.

"Destinedtobeinseparablefriends,infact.Acourtesan,apilgrim,aprincess,andabullfighter.HillHousehassurelyneverseenourlike."

"IwillgivethehonortoHillHouse,"Theodorasaid."Ihaveneverseenitslike."Sherose,carryingherglass,andwenttoexamineabowlofglassflowers."Whatdidtheycallthisroom,doyousuppose?"

"Aparlor,perhaps,"Dr.Montaguesaid."Perhapsaboudoir.Ithoughtwewouldbemorecomfortableinherethaninoneoftheotherrooms.Asamatteroffact,Ithinkweoughttoregardthisroomasourcenterofoperations,akindofcommonroom;itmaynotbecheerful-"

"Ofcourseit'scheerful,"Theodorasaidstaunchly."Thereisnothingmoreexhilaratingthanmaroonupholsteryandoakpaneling,andwhatisthatinthecornerthere?Asedanchair?"

"Tomorrowyouwillseetheotherrooms,"thedoctortoldher.

"Ifwearegoingtohavethisforarumpusroom,"Lukesaid,"Iproposewemoveinsomethingtositon.Icannotperchforlongonanythinghere;Iskid,"hesaidconfidentiallytoEleanor.

"Tomorrow,"thedoctorsaid."Tomorrow,asamatteroffact,wewillexploretheentirehouseandarrangethingstopleaseourselves.Andnow,ifyouhaveallfinished,IsuggestthatwedeterminewhatMrs.Dudleyhasdoneaboutourdinner."

Theodoramovedatonceandthenstopped,bewildered.

"Someoneisgoingtohavetoleadme,"shesaid."Ican'tpossiblytellwherethediningroomis."Shepointed."Thatdoorleadstothelongpassageandthenintothefronthall,"shesaid.

Thedoctorchuckled."Wrong,mydear.Thatdoorleadstotheconservatory."Herosetoleadtheway."Ihavestudiedamapofthehouse,"hesaidcomplacently,"andIbelievethatwehaveonlytogothroughthedoorhere,downthepassage,intothefronthall,andacrossthehallandthroughthebilliardroomtofindthediningroom.Nothard,"hesaid,"onceyougetintopractice."

"Whydidtheymixthemselvesupso?"Theodoraasked."Whysomanylittleoddrooms?"

"Maybetheylikedtohidefromeachother,"Lukesaid.

"Ican'tunderstandwhytheywantedeverythingsodark,"Theodorasaid.SheandEleanorwerefollowingDr.Montaguedownthepassage,andLukecamebehind,lingeringtolookintothedrawerofanarrowtable,andwonderingaloudtohimselfatthevalanceofcupid-headsandribbon-buncheswhichtoppedthepanelinginthedarkhall.

"Someoftheseroomsareentirelyinsiderooms,"thedoctorsaidfromaheadofthem."Nowindows,noaccesstotheoutdoorsatall.However,aseriesofenclosedroomsisnotaltogethersurprisinginahouseofthisperiod,particularlywhenyourecallthatwhatwindowstheydidhavewereheavilyshroudedwithhangingsanddraperieswithin,andshrubberywithout.Ah."Heopenedthepassagedoorandledthemintothefronthall."Now,"hesaid,consideringthedoorwaysopposite,twosmallerdoorsflankingthegreatcentraldoubledoor;"Now,"hesaid,andselectedthenearest."Thehousedoeshaveitslittleoddities,"hecontinued,holdingthedoorsothattheymightpassthroughintothedarkroombeyond."Luke,comeandholdthisopensoIcanfindthediningroom."Movingcautiously,hecrossedthedarkroomandopenedadoor,andtheyfollowedhimintothepleasantestroomtheyhadseensofar,morepleasant,certainly,becauseofthelightsandthesightandsmelloffood."Icongratulatemyself,"hesaid,rubbinghishandshappily."IhaveledyoutocivilizationthroughtheunchartedwastesofHillHouse."

"Weoughttomakeapracticeofleavingeverydoorwideopen."Theodoraglancednervouslyoverhershoulder."Ihatethiswanderingaroundinthedark."

"You'dhavetopropthemopenwithsomething,then,"Eleanorsaid."Everydoorinthishouseswingsshutwhenyouletgoofit."

"Tomorrow,"Dr.Montaguesaid."Iwillmakeanote,Doorstops."Hemovedhappilytowardthesideboard,whereMrs.Dudleyhadsetawarmingovenandanimpressiverowofcovereddishes.Thetablewassetforfour,withalavishdisplayofcandlesanddamaskandheavysilver.

"Nostinting,Isee,"Lukesaid,takingupaforkwithagesturewhichwouldhaveconfirmedhisaunt'sworstsuspicions."Wegetthecompanysilver.

"IthinkMrs.Dudleyisproudofthehouse,"Eleanorsaid.

"Shedoesn'tintendtogiveusapoortable,atanyrate,"thedoctorsaid,peeringintothewarmingoven."Thisisanexcellentarrangement,Ithink.Itgets

Mrs.Dudleywellawayfromherebeforedarkandenablesustohaveourdinnerswithoutheruninvitingcompany."

"Perhaps,"Lukesaid,regardingtheplatewhichhewasfillinggenerously,"perhapsIdidgoodMrs.Dudley-whymustIcontinuetothinkofher,perversely,asgoodMrs.Dudley?-perhapsIreallydidheraninjustice.Shesaidshehopedtofindmealiveinthemorning,andourdinnerwasintheoven;nowIsuspectthatsheintendedmetodieofgluttony."

"Whatkeepsherhere?"EleanoraskedDr.Montague."Whydosheandherhusbandstayon,aloneinthishouse?"

"AsIunderstandit,theDudleyshavetakencareofHillHouseeversinceanyonecanremember;certainlytheSandersonswerehappyenoughtokeepthemon.Buttomorrow-"

Theodoragiggled."Mrs.DudleyisprobablytheonlytruesurvivingmemberofthefamilytowhomHillHousereallybelongs.IthinksheisonlywaitinguntilalltheSandersonheirs-that'syou,Luke-dieoffinvarioushorribleways,andthenshegetsthehouseandthefortuneinjewelsburiedinthecellar.OrmaybesheandDudleyhoardtheirgoldinthesecretchamber,orthere'soilunderthehouse."

"TherearenosecretchambersinHillHouse,"thedoctorsaidwithfinality."Naturally,thatpossibilityhasbeensuggestedbefore,andIthinkImaysaywithassurancethatnosuchromanticdevicesexisthere.Buttomorrow-"

"Inanycase,oilisdefinitelyoldhat,nothingatalltodiscoveronthepropertythesedays,"LuketoldTheodora."TheveryleastMrs.Dudleycouldmurdermeforincoldbloodisuranium."

"Orjustthepurefunofit,"Theodorasaid.

"Yes,"Eleanorsaid,"butwhyarewehere?"

Foralongminutethethreeofthemlookedather,TheodoraandLukecuriously,thedoctorgravely.ThenTheodorasaid,"JustwhatIwasgoingtoask.Whyarewehere?WhatiswrongwithHillHouse?Whatisgoingtohappen?"

"Tomorrow-"

"No,"Theodorasaid,almostpetulantly."Wearethreeadult,intelligentpeople.Wehaveallcomealongway,DoctorMontague,tomeetyouhereinHillHouse;Eleanorwantstoknowwhy,andsodoI."

"Metoo,"Lukesaid.

"Whydidyoubringushere,Doctor?Whyareyouhereyourself?HowdidyouhearaboutHillHouse,andwhydoesithavesuchareputationandwhatreallygoesonhere?Whatisgoingtohappen?"

Thedoctorfrownedunhappily."Idon'tknow,"hesaid,andthen,whenTheodoramadeaquick,irritatedgesture,hewenton,"Iknowverylittlemoreaboutthehousethanyoudo,andnaturallyIintendedtotellyoueverythingIdoknow;asforwhatisgoingtohappen,Iwilllearnthatwhenyoudo.Buttomorrowissoonenoughtotalkaboutit,Ithink;daylight-"

"Notforme,"Theodorasaid.

"Iassureyou,"thedoctorsaid,"thatHillHousewillbequiettonight.Thereisapatterntothesethings,asthoughpsychicphenomenaweresubjecttolawsofaveryparticularsort."

"Ireallythinkweoughttotalkitovertonight,"Lukesaid.

"We'renotafraid,"Eleanoradded.

Thedoctorsighedagain."Suppose,"hesaidslowly,"youheardthestoryofHillHouseanddecidednottostay.Howwouldyouleave,tonight?"Helookedaroundatthemagain,quickly."Thegatesarelocked.HillHousehasareputationforinsistenthospitality;itseeminglydislikeslettingitsguestsgetaway.ThelastpersonwhotriedtoleaveHillHouseindarkness-itwaseighteenyearsago,Igrantyou-waskilledattheturninthedriveway,wherehishorseboltedandcrushedhimagainstthebigtree.SupposeItellyouaboutHillHouse,andoneofyouwantstoleave?Tomorrow,atleast,wecouldseethatyougotsafelytothevillage."

"Butwe'renotgoingtorunaway,"Theodorasaid."I'mnot,andEleanorisn't,andLukeisn't."

"Stoutly,upontheramparts,"Lukeagreed.

"Youareamutinousgroupofassistants.Afterdinner,then.WewillretiretoourlittleboudoirforcoffeeandalittleofthegoodbrandyLukehasinhissuitcase,andIwilltellyouallIknowaboutHillHouse.Now,however,letustalkaboutmusic,orpainting,orevenpolitics."

3-4"Ihadnotdecided,"thedoctorsaid,turningthebrandyinhisglass,"howbest

topreparethethreeofyouforHillHouse.Icertainlycouldnotwriteyouaboutit,andIammostunwillingnowtoinfluenceyourmindswithitscompletehistorybeforeyouhavehadachancetoseeforyourselves."Theywerebackinthesmallparlor,warmandalmostsleepy.Theodorahadabandonedanyattemptatachairandhadputherselfdownonthehearthrug,cross-leggedanddrowsy.Eleanor,wantingtositonthehearthrugbesideher,hadnotthoughtofitintimeandhadcondemnedherselftooneoftheslipperychairs,unwillingnowtoattractattentionbymovingandgettingherselfawkwardlydownontothefloor.Mrs.Dudley'sgooddinnerandanhour'squietconversationhadevaporatedthefaintairofunrealityandconstraint;theyhadbeguntoknowoneanother,recognizeindividualvoicesandmannerisms,facesandlaughter;EleanorthoughtwithalittleshockofsurprisethatshehadbeeninHillHouseonlyforfourorfivehours,andsmiledalittleatthefire.Shecouldfeelthethinstemofherglassbetweenherfingers,thestiffpressureofthechairagainstherback,thefaintmovementsofairthroughtheroomwhichwerebarelyperceptibleinsmallstirringsoftasselsandbeads.Darknesslayinthecorners,andthemarblecupidsmileddownonthemwithchubbygoodhumor.

"Whatatimeforaghoststory,"Theodorasaid.

"Ifyouplease."Thedoctorwasstiff."Wearenotchildrentryingtofrightenoneanother,"hesaid.

"Sorry."Theodorasmiledupathim."I'mjusttryingtogetmyselfusedtoallofthis."

"Letus,"saidthedoctor,"exercisegreatcautioninourlanguage.Preconceivednotionsofghostsandapparitions-"

"'Thedisembodiedhandinthesoup,"Lukesaidhelpfully.

"Mydearboy.Ifyouplease.Iwastryingtoexplainthatourpurposehere,sinceitisofascientificandexploratorynature,oughtnottobeaffected,perhapsevenwarped,byhalf-rememberedspookystorieswhichbelongmoreproperlytoa-letmesee-amarshmallowroast."Pleasedwithhimself,helookedaroundtobesurethattheywereallamused."Asamatteroffact,myresearchesoverthepast

fewyearshaveledmetocertaintheoriesregardingpsychicphenomenawhichIhavenow,forthefirsttime,anopportunityoftesting.Ideally,ofcourse,yououghtnottoknowanythingaboutHillHouse.Youshouldbeignorantandreceptive."

"Andtakenotes,"Theodoramurmured.

"Notes.Yes,indeed.Notes.However,Irealizethatitismostimpracticaltoleaveyouentirelywithoutbackgroundinformation,largelybecauseyouarenotpeopleaccustomedtomeetingasituationwithoutpreparation."Hebeamedatthemslyly."Youarethreewillful,spoiledchildrenwhoarepreparedtonagmeforyourbedtimestory."Theodoragiggled,andthedoctornoddedatherhappily.Heroseandmovedtostandbythefireinanunmistakableclassroompose;heseemedtofeelthelackofablackboardbehindhim,becauseonceortwicehehalfturned,handraised,asthoughlookingforchalktoillustrateapoint.

"Now,"'hesaid,"wewilltakeupthehistoryofHillHouse."IwishIhadanotebookandapen,Eleanorthought,justtomakehimfeelathome.SheglancedatTheodoraandLukeandfoundboththeirfacesfalleninstinctivelyintoacompletelyraptclassroomlook;highearnestness,shethought;wehavemovedintoanotherstageofouradventure.

"Youwillrecall,"thedoctorbegan,"thehousesdescribedinLeviticusas'leprous,'tsaraas,orHomer'sphrasefortheunderworld:aidaodomos,thehouseofHades;Ineednotremindyou,Ithink,thattheconceptofcertainhousesasuncleanorforbidden-perhapssacred-isasoldasthemindofman.Certainlytherearespotswhichinevitablyattachtothemselvesanatmosphereofholinessandgoodness;itmightnotthenbetoofancifultosaythatsomehousesarebornbad.HillHouse,whateverthecause,hasbeenunfitforhumanhabitationforupwardsoftwentyyears.Whatitwaslikebeforethen,whetheritspersonalitywasmoldedbythepeoplewholivedhere,orthethingstheydid,orwhetheritwasevilfromitsstartareallquestionsIcannotanswer.NaturallyIhopethatwewillallknowagooddealmoreaboutHillHousebeforeweleave.Nooneknows,even,whysomehousesarecalledhaunted."

"WhatelsecouldyoucallHillHouse?"Lukedemanded.

"Well-disturbed,perhaps.Leprous.Sick.Anyofthepopulareuphemismsforinsanity;aderangedhouseisaprettyconceit.Therearepopulartheories,

however,whichdiscounttheeerie,themysterious;therearepeoplewhowilltellyouthatthedisturbancesIamcalling'psychic'areactuallytheresultofsubterraneanwaters,orelectriccurrents,orhallucinationscausedbypollutedair;atmosphericpressure,sunspots,earthtremorsallhavetheiradvocatesamongtheskeptical.People,"thedoctorsaidsadly,''arealwayssoanxioustogetthingsoutintotheopenwheretheycanputanametothem,evenameaninglessname,solongasithassomethingofascientificring."Hesighed,relaxing,andgavethemalittlequizzicalsmile."Ahauntedhouse,"hesaid."Everyonelaughs.IfoundmyselftellingmycolleaguesattheuniversitythatIwasgoingcampingthissummer."

"ItoldpeopleIwasparticipatinginascientificexperiment,"Theodorasaidhelpfully."Withouttellingthemwhereorwhat,ofcourse."

"Presumablyyourfriendsfeellessstronglyaboutscientificexperimentsthanmine.Yes."Thedoctorsighedagain."Camping.Atmyage.Andyetthattheybelieved.Well."Hestraightenedupagainandfumbledathisside,perhapsforayardstick."IfirstheardaboutHillHouseayearago,fromaformertenant.HebeganbyassuringmethathehadleftHillHousebecausehisfamilyobjectedtolivingsofaroutinthecountry,andendedbysayingthatinhisopinionthehouseoughttobeburneddownandthegroundsowedwithsalt.IlearnedofotherpeoplewhohadrentedHillHouse,andfoundthatnoneofthemhadstayedmorethanafewdays,certainlyneverthefulltermsoftheirleases,givingreasonsthatrangedfromthedampnessofthelocation-notatalltrue,bytheway;thehouseisverydry-toapressingneedtomoveelsewhere,forbusinessreasons.Thatis,everytenantwhohasleftHillHousehastilyhasmadeanefforttosupplyarationalreasonforleaving,andyeteveryoneofthemhasleft.Itried,ofcourse,tolearnmorefromtheseformertenants,andyetinnocasecouldIpersuadethemtodiscussthehouse;theyallseemedmostunwillingtogivemeinformationandwere,infact,reluctanttorecallthedetailsoftheirseveralstays.Inonlyoneopinionweretheyunited.Withoutexception,everypersonwhohasspentanylengthoftimeinthishouseurgedmetostayasfarawayfromitaspossible.NotoneoftheformertenantscouldbringhimselftoadmitthatHillHousewashaunted,butwhenIvisitedHillsdaleandlookedupthenewspaperrecords-"

"Newspapers?"Theodoraasked."Wasthereascandal?"

"Oh,yes,"thedoctorsaid."Aperfectlysplendidscandal,withasuicideand

madnessandlawsuits.ThenIlearnedthatthelocalpeoplehadnodoubtsaboutthehouse.Iheardadozendifferentstories,ofcourse-itisreallyunbelievablydifficulttogetaccurateinformationaboutahauntedhouse;itwouldastonishyoutoknowwhatIhavegonethroughtolearnonlyasmuchasIhave-andasaresultIwenttoMrs.Sanderson,Luke'saunt,andarrangedtorentHillHouse.Shewasmostfrankaboutitsundesirability-"

"It'shardertoburndownahousethanyouthink,"Lukesaid.

"-butagreedtoallowmeashortleasetocarryoutmyresearches,onconditionthatamemberofthefamilybeoneofmyparty."

"Theyhope,"Lukesaidsolemnly,"thatIwilldissuadeyoufromdiggingupthelovelyoldscandals."

"There.NowIhaveexplainedhowIhappentobehere,andwhyLukehascome.Asforyoutwoladies,weallknowbynowthatyouareherebecauseIwroteyou,andyouacceptedmyinvitation.Ihopedthateachofyoumight,inherownway,intensifytheforcesatworkinthehouse;Theodorahasshownherselfpossessedofsometelepathicability,andEleanorhasinthepastbeenintimatelyinvolvedinpoltergeistphenomena-"

"I?"

"Ofcourse."Thedoctorlookedathercuriously."Manyyearsago,whenyouwereachild.Thestones-"

Eleanorfrowned,andshookherhead.Herfingerstrembledaroundthestemofherglass,andthenshesaid,"Thatwastheneighbors.Mymothersaidtheneighborsdidthat.Peoplearealwaysjealous."

"Perhapsso."ThedoctorspokequietlyandsmiledatEleanor.

"Theincidenthasbeenforgottenlongago,ofcourse;IonlymentioneditbecausethatiswhyIwantedyouinHillHouse."

"WhenIwasachild,"Theodorasaidlazily,"-'manyyearsago,'Doctor,asyouputitsotactfully-Iwaswhippedforthrowingabrickthroughagreenhouseroof.IrememberIthoughtaboutitforalongtime,rememberingthewhippingbutrememberingalsothelovelycrash,andafterthinkingaboutitveryseriouslyI

wentoutanddiditagain."

"Idon'trememberverywell,"Eleanorsaiduncertainlytothedoctor.

"Butwhy?"Theodoraasked."Imean,IcanacceptthatHillHouseissupposedtobehaunted,andyouwantushere,DoctorMontague,tohelpkeeptrackofwhathappens-andIbetbesidesthatyouwouldn'tatalllikebeingherealone-butIjustdon'tunderstand.It'sahorribleoldhouse,andifIrenteditI'dscreamformymoneybackafteronefastlookatthefronthall,butwhat'shere?Whatreallyfrightenspeopleso?"

"Iwillnotputanametowhathasnoname,"thedoctorsaid."Idon'tknow."

"Theynevereventoldmewhatwasgoingon,"Eleanorsaidurgentlytothedoctor."Mymothersaiditwastheneighbors,theywerealways'againstusbecauseshewouldn'tmixwiththem.Mymother-"

Lukeinterruptedher,slowlyanddeliberately."Ithink,"hesaid)"thatwhatweallwantisfacts.Somethingwecanunderstandandputtogether."

"First,"thedoctorsaid,"Iamgoingtoaskyouallaquestion.Doyouwanttoleave?DoyouadvisethatwepackupnowandleaveHillHousetoitself,andneverhaveanythingmoretodowithit?"

HelookedatEleanor,andEleanorputherhandstogethertight;itisanotherchancetogetaway,shewasthinking,andshesaid,

"No,"andglancedwithembarrassmentatTheodora."Iwaskindofababythisafternoon,"sheexplained."Ididletmyselfgetfrightened."

"She'snottellingallthetruth,"Theodorasaidloyally."Shewasn'tanymorefrightenedthanIwas;wescaredeachothertodeathoverarabbit."

"Horriblecreatures,rabbits,"Lukesaid.

Thedoctorlaughed."Isupposewewereallnervousthisafternoon,anyway.ItisarudeshocktoturnthatcornerandgetaclearlookatHillHouse.''

"Ithoughthewasgoingtosendthecarintoatree,"Lukesaid.

"Iamreallyverybravenow,inawarmroomwithafireandcompany,"Theodorasaid.

"Idon'tthinkwecouldleavenowifwewantedto."Eleanorhadspokenbeforesherealizedclearlywhatshewasgoingtosay,orwhatitwasgoingtosoundliketotheothers;shesawthattheywerestaringather,andlaughedandaddedlamely,"Mrs.Dudleywouldneverforgiveus."Shewonderediftheyreallybelievedthatthatwaswhatshehadmeanttosay,andthought,Perhapsithasusnow,thishouse,perhapsitwillnotletusgo.

"Letushavealittlemorebrandy,"thedoctorsaid,"andIwilltellyouthestoryofHillHouse."Hereturnedtohisclassroompositionbeforethefireplaceandbeganslowly,asonegivinganaccountofkingslongdeadandwarslongdonewith;hisvoicewascarefullyunemotional."HillHousewasbuilteighty-oddyearsago,"hebegan."ItwasbuiltasahomeforhisfamilybyamannamedHughCrain,acountryhomewherehehopedtoseehischildrenandgrandchildrenliveincomfortableluxury,andwherehefullyexpectedtoendhisdaysinquiet.UnfortunatelyHillHousewasasadhousealmostfromthebeginning;HughCrain'syoungwifediedminutesbeforeshefirstwastoseteyesonthehouse,whenthecarriagebringingherhereoverturnedinthedriveway,andtheladywasbrought-ah,lifeless,Ibelieveisthephrasetheyuse-intothehomeherhusbandhadbuiltforher.Hewasasadandbitterman,HughCrain,leftwithtwosmalldaughterstobringup,buthedidnotleaveHillHouse."

"Childrengrewuphere?"Eleanoraskedincredulously

Thedoctorsmiled."Thehouseisdry,asIsaid.Therewerenoswampstobringthemfevers,thecountryairwasthoughttobebeneficialtothem,andthehouseitselfwasregardedasluxurious.Ihavenodoubtthattwosmallchildrencouldplayhere,lonelyperhaps,butnotunhappy."

"Ihopetheywentwadinginthebrook,"Theodorasaid.Shestareddeeplyintothefire."Poorlittlethings.Ihopesomeoneletthemruninthatmeadowandpickwildflowers."

"Theirfathermarriedagain,"thedoctorwenton."Twicemore,asamatteroffact.Heseemstohavebeenunluckyinhiswives.ThesecondMrs.Craindiedofafall,althoughIhavebeenunabletoascertainhoworwhy.Herdeathseemstohavebeenastragicallyunexpectedasherpredecessor's.ThethirdMrs.Crain

diedofwhattheyusedtocallconsumption,somewhereinEurope;thereis,somewhereinthelibrary,acollectionofpostcardssenttothetwolittlegirlsleftbehindinHillHousefromtheirfatherandtheirstepmothertravelingfromonehealthresorttoanother.Thelittlegirlswereleftherewiththeirgovernessuntiltheirstepmother'sdeath.AfterthatHughCraindeclaredhisintentionofclosingHillHouseandremainingabroad,andhisdaughtersweresenttolivewithacousinoftheirmother's,andtheretheyremaineduntiltheyweregrown

"IhopeMama'scousinwasalittlejollierthanoldHugh,"Theodorasaid,stillstaringdarklyintothefire."It'snotnicetothinkofchildrengrowinguplikemushrooms,inthedark."

"Theyfeltdifferently,"thedoctorsaid."ThetwosistersspenttherestoftheirlivesquarrelingoverHillHouse.Afterallhishighhopesofadynastycenteredhere,HughCraindiedsomewhereinEurope,shortlyafterhiswife,andHillHousewasleftjointlytothetwosisters,whomusthavebeenquiteyoungladiesbythen;theoldersisterhad,atanyrate,madeherdebutintosociety."

"Andputupherhair,andlearnedtodrinkchampagneandcarryafan…"

"HillHousewasemptyforanumberofyears,butkeptalwaysinreadinessforthefamily;atfirstinexpectationofHughCrain'sreturn,andthen,afterhisdeath,foreitherofthesisterswhochosetolivethere.SomewhereduringthistimeitwasapparentlyagreedbetweenthetwosistersthatHillHouseshouldbecomethepropertyoftheolder;theyoungersisterhadmarried-"

"Aha,"Theodorasaid."Theyoungersistermarried.Stolehersister'sbeau,I'venodoubt."

"Itwassaidthattheoldersisterwascrossedinlove,"thedoctoragreed,"althoughthatissaidofalmostanyladywhoprefers,forwhateverreason,tolivealone.Atanyrate,itwastheoldersisterwhocamebackheretolive.Sheseemstohaveresembledherfatherstrongly;shelivedherealoneforanumberofyears,almostinseclusion,althoughthevillageofHillsdaleknewher.Incredibleasitmaysoundtoyou,shegenuinelylovedHillHouseandlookeduponitasherfamilyhome.Sheeventuallytookagirlfromthevillagetolivewithher,asakindofcompanion;sofarasIcanlearnthereseemstohavebeennostrongfeelingamongthevillagersaboutthehousethen,sinceoldMissCrain-asshewasinevitablyknown-hiredherservantsinthevillage,anditwasthought

afinethingforhertotakethevillagegirlasacompanion.OldMissCrainwasinconstantdisagreementwithhersisteroverthehouse,theyoungersisterinsistingthatshehadgivenupherclaimonthehouseinexchangeforanumberoffamilyheirlooms,someofconsiderablevalue,whichhersisterthenrefusedtogiveher.Thereweresomejewels,severalpiecesofantiquefurniture,andasetofgold-rimmeddishes,whichseemedtoirritatetheyoungersistermorethananythingelse.Mrs.Sandersonletmerummagethroughaboxoffamilypapers,andsoIhaveseensomeofthelettersMissCrainreceivedfromhersister,andinallofthemthosedishesstandoutastherecurrentsoresubject.Atanyrate,theoldersisterdiedofpneumoniahereinthehouse,withonlythelittlecompaniontohelpher-therewerestorieslaterofadoctorcalledtoolate,oftheoldladylyingneglectedupstairswhiletheyoungerwomandalliedinthegardenwithsomevillagelout,butIsuspectthattheseareonlyscandalousinventions;Icertainlycannotfindthatanythingofthesortwaswidelybelievedatthetime,andinfactmostofthestoriesseemtostemdirectlyfromthepoisonousvengefulnessoftheyoungersister,whoneverrestedinheranger."

"Idon'tliketheyoungersister,"Theodorasaid."Firstshestolehersister'slover,andthenshetriedtostealhersister'sdishes.No,Idon'tlikeher."

"HillHousehasanimpressivelistoftragediesconnectedwithit,butthen,mostoldhouseshave.Peoplehavetoliveanddiesomewhere,afterall,andahousecanhardlystandforeightyyearswithoutseeingsomeofitsinhabitantsdiewithinitswalls.Afterthedeathoftheoldersister,therewasalawsuitoverthehouse.Thecompanioninsistedthatthehousewaslefttoher,buttheyoungersisterandherhusbandmaintainedmostviolentlythatthehousebelongedlegallytothemandclaimedthatthecompanionhadtrickedtheoldersisterintosigningawaypropertywhichshehadalwaysintendedleavingtohersister.Itwasanunpleasantbusiness,likeallfamilyquarrels,andasinallfamilyquarrelsincrediblyharshandcruelthingsweresaidoneitherside.Thecompanionsworeincourt-andhere,Ithink,isthefirsthintofHillHouseinitstruepersonality-thattheyoungersistercameintothehouseatnightandstolethings.Whenshewaspressedtoenlargeuponthisaccusation,shebecameverynervousandincoherent,andfinally,forcedtogivesomeevidenceforhercharge,saidthatasilverservicewasmissing,andavaluablesetofenamels,inadditiontothefamoussetofgold-rimmeddishes,whichwouldactuallybeaverydifficultthingtosteal,whenyouthinkaboutit.Forherpart,theyoungersisterwentsofarastomentionmurderanddemandaninvestigationintothedeathofoldMissCrain,bringingupthefirsthintsofthestoriesofneglectandmismanagement.Icannot

discoverthatthesesuggestionswereevertakenseriously.Thereisnorecordwhateverofanybutthemostformalnoticeoftheoldersister'sdeath,andcertainlythevillagerswouldhavebeenthefirsttowonderiftherehadbeenanyoddnessaboutthedeath.Thecompanionwonhercaseatlast,andcould,inmyopinion,havewonacaseforslanderbesides,andthehousebecamelegallyhers,althoughtheyoungersisternevergaveuptryingtogetit.Shekeptaftertheunfortunatecompanionwithlettersandthreats,madethewildestaccusationsagainsthereverywhere,andinthelocalpolicerecordsthereislistedatleastoneoccasionwhenthecompanionwasforcedtoapplyforpoliceprotectiontopreventherenemyfromattackingherwithabroom.Thecompanionwentinterror,seemingly;herhouseburgledatnight-sheneverstoppedinsistingthattheycameandstolethings-andIreadonepatheticletterinwhichshecomplainedthatshehadnotspentapeacefulnightinthehousesincethedeathofherbenefactor.Oddlyenough,sympathyaroundthevillagewasalmostentirelywiththeyoungersister,perhapsbecausethecompanion,onceavillagegirl,wasnowladyofthemanor.Thevillagersbelieved-andstillbelieve,Ithink-thattheyoungersisterwasdefraudedofherinheritancebyaschemingyoungwoman.Theydidnotbelievethatshewouldmurderherfriend,yousee,buttheyweredelightedtobelievethatshewasdishonest,certainlybecausetheywerecapableofdishonestythemselveswhenopportunityarose.Well,gossipisalwaysabadenemy.Whenthepoorcreaturekilledherself-"

"Killedherself?"Eleanor,shockedintospeech,halfrose."Shehadtokillherself?"

"Youmean,wasthereanotherwayofescapinghertormentor?Shecertainlydidnotseemtothinkso.Itwasacceptedlocallythatshehadchosensuicidebecauseherguiltyconsciencedrovehertoit.Iammoreinclinedtobelievethatshewasoneofthosetenacious,uncleveryoungwomenwhocanholdondesperatelytowhattheybelieveistheirownbutcannotwithstand,mentally,aconstantnaggingpersecution;shehadcertainlynoweaponstofightbackagainsttheyoungersister'scampaignofhatred,herownfriendsinthevillagehadbeenturnedagainsther,andsheseemstohavebeenmaddenedbytheconvictionthatlocksandboltscouldnotkeepouttheenemywhostoleintoherhouseatnight-"

"Sheshouldhavegoneaway,"Eleanorsaid."Leftthehouseandrunasfarasshecouldgo."

"Ineffect,shedid.Ireallythinkthepoorgirlwashatedtodeath;shehanged

herself,bytheway.Gossipsaysshehangedherselffromtheturretonthetower,butwhenyouhaveahouselikeHillHousewithatowerandaturret,gossipwouldhardlyallowyoutohangyourselfanywhereelse.Afterherdeath,thehousepassedlegallyintothehandsoftheSandersonfamily,whowerecousinsofhersandinnowayasvulnerabletothepiercestinsoftheyoungersister,whomusthavebeenalittledementedherselfbythattime.IheardfromMrs.Sandersonthatwhenthefamily-itwouldhavebeenherhusband'sparents-firstcametoseethehouse,theyoungersistershoweduptoabusethem,standingontheroadtohowlatthemastheywentby,andfoundherselfpackedrightofftothelocalpolicestation.Andthatseemstobetheendoftheyoungersister'spartinthestory:fromthedaythefirstSandersonsentherpackingtothebriefnoticeofherdeathafewyearslater,sheseemstohavespenthertimebroodingsilentlyoverherwrongs,butfarawayfromtheSandersons.Oddlyenoughinallherranting,sheinsistedalwaysononepoint-shehadnot,wouldnot,comeintothishouseatnight,tostealorforanyotherreason."

"Wasanythingeverreallystolen?"Lukeasked.

"AsItoldyou,thecompanionwasfinallypressedintosayingthatoneortwothingsseemedtobemissing,butcouldnotsayforsure.Asyoucanimagine,thestoryofthenightlyintruderdidagooddealtoenhanceHillHouse'sfurtherreputation.Moreover,theSandersonsdidnotlivehereatall.Theyspentafewdaysinthehouse,tellingthevillagersthattheywerepreparingitfortheirimmediateoccupancy,andthenabruptlyclearedout,closingthehousethewayitstood.Theytoldaroundthevillagethaturgentbusinesstookthemtoliveinthecity,butthevillagersthoughttheyknewbetter.Noonehaslivedinthehousesinceformorethanafewdaysatatime.Ithasbeenonthemarket,forsaleorrent,eversince.Well,thatisalongstory.Ineedmorebrandy."

"Thosetwopoorlittlegirls,"Eleanorsaid,lookingintothefire.

"Ican'tforgetthem,walkingthroughthesedarkrooms,tryingtoplaydolls,maybe,inhereorthosebedroomsupstairs."

"Andsotheoldhousehasjustbeensittinghere."Lukeputoutatentativefingerandtouchedthemarblecupidgingerly."Nothinginittouched,nothingused,nothingherewantedbyanyoneanymore,justsittingherethinking."

"Andwaiting,"Eleanorsaid.

"Andwaiting,"thedoctorconfirmed."Essentially,"hewentonslowly,"theevilisthehouseitself,Ithink.Ithasenchainedanddestroyeditspeopleandtheirlives,itisaplaceofcontainedillwill.Well.Tomorrowyouwillseeitall.TheSandersonsputinelectricityandplumbingandatelephonewhentheyfirstthoughttolivehere,butotherwisenothinghasbeenchanged."

"Well,"Lukesaidafteralittlesilence,"I'msurewewillallbeverycomfortablehere."

3-5Eleanorfoundherselfunexpectedlyadmiringherownfeet.Theodoradreamed

overthefirejustbeyondthetipsofhertoes,andEleanorthoughtwithdeepsatisfactionthatherfeetwerehandsomeintheirredsandals;whatacompleteandseparatethingIam,shethought,goingfrommyredtoestothetopofmyhead,individuallyanI,possessedofattributesbelongingonlytome.Ihaveredshoes,shethought-thatgoeswithbeingEleanor;IdislikelobsterandsleeponmyleftsideandcrackmyknuckleswhenIamnervousandsavebuttons.IamholdingabrandyglasswhichisminebecauseIamhereandIamusingitandIhaveaplaceinthisroom.IhaveredshoesandtomorrowIwillwakeupandIwillstillbehere.

"Ihaveredshoes,"shesaidverysoftly,andTheodoraturnedandsmiledupather.

"Ihadintended-"andthedoctorlookedaroundatthemwithbright,anxiousoptimism-"Ihadintendedtoaskifyouallplayedbridge?"

"Ofcourse,"Eleanorsaid.Iplaybridge,shethought;IusedtohaveacatnamedDancer;Icanswim.

"I'mafraidnot,"Theodorasaid,andtheotherthreeturnedandregardedherwithfrankdismay.

"Notatall?"thedoctorasked.

"I'vebeenplayingbridgetwiceaweekforelevenyears,"Eleanorsaid,"withmymotherandherlawyerandhiswife-I'msureyoumustplayaswellasthat."

"Maybeyoucouldteachme?"Theodoraasked."I'mquickatlearninggames."

"Oh,dear,"thedoctorsaid,andEleanorandLukelaughed.

"We'lldosomethingelseinstead,"Eleanorsaid;Icanplaybridge,shethought;Ilikeapplepiewithsourcream,andIdroveherebymyself.

"Backgammon,"thedoctorsaidwithbitterness.

"Iplayafairgameofchess,"Lukesaidtothedoctor,whocheeredatonce.

Theodorasethermouthstubbornly."Ididn'tsupposewecameheretoplaygames,"shesaid.

"Relaxation,"thedoctorsaidvaguely,andTheodoraturnedwithasullenshrugandstaredagainintothefire.

"I'llgetthechessmen,ifyou'lltellmewhere,"Lukesaid,andthedoctorsmiled.

"Betterletmego,"hesaid."I'vestudiedafloorplanofthehouse,remember.Ifweletyougooffwanderingbyyourselfwe'dverylikelyneverfindyouagain."AsthedoorclosedbehindhimLukegaveTheodoraaquickcuriousglanceandthencameovertostandbyEleanor."You'renotnervous,areyou?Didthatstoryfrightenyou?"

Eleanorshookherheademphatically,andLukesaid,"Youlookedpale."

"Iprobablyoughttobeinbed,"Eleanorsaid."I'mnotusedtodrivingasfarasIdidtoday."

"Brandy,"Lukesaid."Itwillmakeyousleepbetter.Youtoo,"hesaidtothebackofTheodora'shead.

"Thankyou,"Theodorasaidcoldly,notturning."Irarelyhavetroublesleeping."

LukegrinnedknowinglyatEleanor,andthenturnedasthedoctoropenedthedoor."Mywildimagination,"thedoctorsaid,settingdownthechessset."Whatahousethisis."

"Didsomethinghappen?"Eleanorasked.

Thedoctorshookhishead."Weprobablyoughttoagree,now,nottowanderaroundthehousealone,"hesaid.

"Whathappened?"Eleanorasked.

"Myownimagination,"thedoctorsaidfirmly."Thistableallright,Luke?"

"It'salovelyoldchessset,"Lukesaid."Iwonderhowtheyoungersister

happenedtooverlookit."

"Icantellyouonething,"thedoctorsaid,"ifitwastheyoungersistersneakingaroundthishouseatnight,shehadnervesofiron.Itwatches,"headdedsuddenly."Thehouse.Itwatcheseverymoveyoumake."Andthen,"Myownimagination,ofcourse."

InthelightofthefireTheodora'sfacewasstiffandsulky;shelikesattention,Eleanorthoughtwiselyand,withoutthinking,movedandsatonthefloorbesideTheodora.BehindhershecouldhearthegentlesoundofchessmenbeingsetdownonaboardandthecomfortablesmallmovementsofLukeandthedoctortakingeachother'smeasure,andinthefiretherewerepointsofflameandlittlestirrings.ShewaitedaminuteforTheodoratospeak,andthensaidagreeably,"Stillhardtobelieveyou'rereallyhere?"

"Ihadnoideaitwouldbesodull,"Theodorasaid.

"We'llfindplentytodointhemorning,"Eleanorsaid.

"Athometherewouldbepeoplearound,andlotsoftalkingandlaughingandlightsandexcitement-"

"IsupposeIdon'tneedsuchthings,"Eleanorsaid,almostapologetically."Thereneverwasmuchexcitementforme.IhadtostaywithMother,ofcourse.AndwhenshewasasleepIkindofgotusedtoplayingsolitaireorlisteningtotheradio.InevercouldbeartoreadintheeveningsbecauseIhadtoreadaloudtoherfortwohourseveryafternoon.Lovestories"-andshesmiledalittle,lookingintothefire.Butthat'snotall,shethought,astonishedatherself,thatdoesn'ttellwhatitwaslike,evenifIwantedtotell;whyamItalking?

"I'mterrible,aren'tI?"TheodoramovedquicklyandputherhandoverEleanor's."Isithereandgrouchbecausethere'snothingtoamuseme;I'mveryselfish.TellmehowhorribleIam."Andinthefirelighthereyesshonewithdelight.

"You'rehorrible,"Eleanorsaidobediently;Theodora'shandonherownembarrassedher.Shedislikedbeingtouched,andyetasmallphysicalgestureseemedtobeTheodora'schosenwayofexpressingcontrition,orpleasure,orsympathy;jwonderifmyfingernailsareclean,Eleanorthought,andslidherhandawaygently.

"Iamhorrible,"Theodorasaid,good-humoredagain."I'mhorribleandbeastlyandnoonecanstandme.There.Nowtellmeaboutyourself."

"I'mhorribleandbeastlyandnoonecanstandme."

Theodoralaughed."Don'tmakefunofme.You'resweetandpleasantandeveryonelikesyouverymuch;Lukehasfallenmadlyinlovewithyou,andIamjealous.NowIwanttoknowmoreaboutyou.Didyoureallytakecareofyourmotherformanyyears?"

"Yes,"Eleanorsaid.Herfingernailsweredirty,andherhandwasbadlyshapedandpeoplemadejokesaboutlovebecausesometimesitwasfunny."Elevenyears,untilshediedthreemonthsago."

"Wereyousorrywhenshedied?ShouldIsayhowsorryIam?"

"No.Shewasn'tveryhappy."

"Andneitherwereyou?"

"AndneitherwasI."

"Butwhataboutnow?Whatdidyoudoafterward,whenyouwerefreeatlast?"

"Isoldthehouse,"Eleanorsaid."MysisterandIeachtookwhateverwewantedfromit,smallthings;therewasreallynothingmuchexceptlittlethingsmymotherhadsaved-myfather'swatch,andsomeoldjewelry.NotatalllikethesistersofHillHouse."

"Andyousoldeverythingelse?"

"Everything.JustassoonasIcould."

"Andthenofcourseyoustartedagay,madflingthatbroughtyouinevitablytoHillHouse?"

"Notexactly."Eleanorlaughed.

"Butallthosewastedyears!Didyougoonacruise,lookforexcitingyoung

men,buynewclothes…

"Unfortunately,"Eleanorsaiddryly,"therewasnotatallthatmuchmoney.Mysisterputhershareintothebankforherlittlegirl'seducation.Ididbuysomeclothes,tocometoHillHouse."Peoplelikeansweringquestionsaboutthemselves,shethought;whatanoddpleasureitis.Iwouldansweranythingrightnow.

"Whatwillyoudowhenyougoback?Doyouhaveajob?"

"No,nojobrightnow.Idon'tknowwhatI'mgoingtodo."

"IknowwhatI'lldo."Theodorastretchedluxuriously."I'llturnoneverylightinourapartmentandjustbask."

"Whatisyourapartmentlike?"

Theodorashrugged."Nice,"shesaid."Wefoundanoldplaceandfixeditupourselves.Onebigroom,andacoupleofsmallbedrooms,nicekitchen-wepainteditredandwhiteandmadeoveralotofoldfurniturewedugupinjunkshops-onereallynicetable,withamarbletop.Webothlovedoingoveroldthings."

"Areyoumarried?"Eleanorasked.

Therewasalittlesilence,andthenTheodoralaughedquicklyandsaid,"No."

"Sorry,"Eleanorsaid,horriblyembarrassed."Ididn'tmeantobecurious.

"You'refunny,"TheodorasaidandtouchedEleanor'scheekwithherfinger.Therearelinesbymyeyes,Eleanorthought,andturnedherfaceawayfromthefire."Tellmewhereyoulive,"Theodorasaid.

Eleanorthought,lookingdownatherhandswhichwerebadlyshaped.Wecouldhaveaffordedalaundress,shethought;itwasn'tfair.Myhandsareawful."Ihavealittleplaceofmyown,"shesaidslowly."Anapartment,likeyours,onlyIlivealone.Smallerthanyours,I'msure.I'mstillfurnishingit-buyingonethingatatime,youknow,tomakesureIgeteverythingabsolutelyright.Whitecurtains.IhadtolookforweeksbeforeIfoundmylittlestonelionsoneachcornerofthemantel,andIhaveawhitecatandmybooksandrecordsand

pictures.EverythinghastobeexactlythewayIwantit,becausethere'sonlymetouseit;onceIhadabluecupwithstarspaintedontheinside;whenyoulookeddownintoacupofteaitwasfullofstars.Iwantacuplikethat."

"Maybeonewillturnupsomeday,inmyshop,"Theodorasaid.

"ThenIcansendittoyou.Somedayyou'llgetalittlepackagesaying'ToEleanorwithlovefromherfriendTheodora,'anditwillbeabluecupfullofstars."

"Iwouldhavestolenthosegold-rimmeddishes,"Eleanorsaid,laughing.

"Mate,"Lukesaid,andthedoctorsaid,"Ohdear,ohdear."

"Blindluck,"Lukesaidcheerfully."Haveyouladiesfallenasleeptherebythefire?"

"Justabout,"Theodorasaid.Lukecameacrosstheroomandheldoutahandtoeachofthemtohelpthemup,andEleanor,movingawkwardly,almostfell;Theodoraroseinaquickmotionandstretchedandyawned."Theoissleepy,"shesaid.

"I'llhavetoleadyouupstairs,"thedoctorsaid."Tomorrowwemustreallystarttolearnourwayaround.Luke,willyouscreenthefire?"

"Hadwebettermakesurethatthedoorsarelocked?"Lukeasked."IimaginethatMrs.Dudleylockedthebackdoorwhensheleft,butwhatabouttheothers?"

"Ihardlythinkwe'llcatchanyonebreakingin,"Theodorasaid.

"Anyway,thelittlecompanionusedtolockherdoors,andwhatgooddiditdoher?"

"Supposewewanttobreakout?"Eleanorasked.

ThedoctorglancedquicklyatEleanorandthenaway."Iseenoneedforlockingdoors,"hesaidquietly.

"Thereiscertainlynotmuchdangerofburglarsfromthevillage,"Lukesaid.

"Inanycase,"thedoctorsaid,"Iwillnotsleepforanhourorsoyet;atmyageanhour'sreadingbeforebedtimeisessential,andIwiselybroughtPamelawithme.Ifanyofyouhastroublesleeping,Iwillreadaloudtoyou.IneveryetknewanyonewhocouldnotfallasleepwithRichardsonbeingreadaloudtohim."Talkingquietly,heledthemdownthenarrowhallwayandthroughthegreatfronthailandtothestairs."Ihaveoftenplannedtotryitonverysmallchildren,"hewenton.

EleanorfollowedTheodoraupthestairs;shehadnotrealizeduntilnowhowwornshewas,andeachstepwasaneffort.SheremindedherselfnagginglythatshewasinHillHouse,buteventheblueroommeantonly,rightnow,thebedwiththebluecoverletandthebluequilt."Ontheotherhand,"thedoctorcontinuedbehindher,"aFieldingnovelcomparableinlength,althoughhardlyinsubjectmatter,wouldneverdoforveryyoungchildren.IevenhavedoubtsaboutSterne-"

Theodorawenttothedoorofthegreenroomandturnedandsmiled."Ifyoufeeltheleastbitnervous,"shesaidtoEleanor,"runrightintomyroom."

"Iwill,"Eleanorsaidearnestly."Thankyou;goodnight."

"-andcertainlynotSmollett.Ladies,LukeandIarehere,ontheothersideofthestairway-"

"Whatcolorareyourrooms?"Eleanorasked,unabletoresist.

"Yellow,"thedoctorsaid,surprised.

"Pink,"Lukesaidwithadaintygestureofdistaste.

"We'reblueandgreendownhere,"Theodorasaid.

"Iwillbeawake,reading,"thedoctorsaid."Iwillleavemydoorajar,soIwillcertainlyhearanysound.Goodnight.Sleepwell."

"Goodnight,"Lukesaid."Goodnight,all."

AssheclosedthedooroftheblueroombehindherEleanorthoughtwearilythatitmightbethedarknessandoppressionofHillHousethattiredherso,andthenitnolongermattered.Thebluebedwasunbelievablysoft.Odd,shethought

sleepily,thatthehouseshouldbesodreadfulandyetinmanyrespectssophysicallycomfortable-thesoftbed,thepleasantlawn,thegoodfire,thecookingofMrs.Dudley.Thecompanytoo,shethought,andthenthought,NowIcanthinkaboutthem;Iamallalone.WhyisLukehere?ButwhyamIhere?Journeysendinloversmeeting.TheyallsawthatIwasafraid.

Sheshiveredandsatupinbedtoreachforthequiltatthefoot.Then,halfamusedandhalfcold,sheslippedoutofbedandwent,barefootandsilent,acrosstheroomtoturnthekeyinthelockofthedoor;theywon'tknowIlockedit,shethought,andwenthastilybacktobed.Withthequiltpulleduparoundhershefoundherselflookingwithquickapprehensionatthewindow,shiningpalelyinthedarkness,andthenatthedoor.IwishIhadasleepingpilltotake,shethought,andlookedagainoverhershoulder,compulsively,atthewindow,andthenagainatthedoor,andthought,Isitmoving?ButIlockedit;isitmoving?

Ithink,shedecidedconcretely,thatIwouldlikethisbetterifIhadtheblanketsovermyhead.Hiddendeepinthebedundertheblankets,shegiggledandwasgladnoneoftheotherscouldhearher.Inthecitysheneversleptwithherheadunderthecovers;Ihavecomeallthiswaytoday,shethought.

Thensheslept,secure;inthenextroomTheodoraslept,smiling,withherlighton.Fartherdownthehailthedoctor,readingPamela,liftedhisheadoccasionallytolisten,andoncewenttohisdoorandstoodforaminute,lookingdownthehail,beforegoingbacktohisbook.Anightlightshoneatthetopofthestairsoverthepoolofblacknesswhichwasthehail.Lukeslept,onhisbedsidetableaflashlightandtheluckypiecehealwayscarriedwithhim.Aroundthemthehousebrooded,settlingandstirringwithamovementthatwasalmostlikeashudder.

SixmilesawayMrs.Dudleyawakened,lookedatherclock,thoughtofHillHouse,andshuthereyesquickly.Mrs.GloriaSanderson,whoownedHillHouseandlivedthreehundredmilesawayfromit,closedherdetectivestory,yawned,andreacheduptoturnoffherlight,wonderingbrieflyifshehadrememberedtoputthechainonthefrontdoor.Theodora'sfriendslept;sodidthedoctor'swifeandEleanor'ssister.Faraway,inthetreesoverHillHouse,anowlcriedout,andtowardmorningathin,finerainbegan,mistyanddull.

Chapter4Eleanorawakenedtofindtheblueroomgrayandcolorlessinthemorning

rain.Shefoundthatshehadthrownthequiltoffduringthenightandhadfinishedsleepinginherusualmanner,withherheadonthepillow:Itwasasurprisetofindthatshehadsleptuntilaftereight,andshethoughtthatitwasironicthatthefirstgoodnight'ssleepshehadhadinyearshadcometoherinHillHouse.Lyinginthebluebed,lookingupintothedimceilingwithitsremotecarvedpattern,sheaskedherself,halfasleepstill,WhatdidIdo;didImakeafoolofmyself?Weretheylaughingatme?

Thinkingquicklyovertheeveningbefore,shecouldrememberonlythatshehad-musthave-seemedfoolishly,childishlycontented,almosthappy;hadtheothersbeenamusedtoseethatshewassosimple?Isaidsillythings,shetoldherself,andofcoursetheynoticed.TodayIwillbemorereserved,lessopenlygratefultoallofthemforhavingme.

Then,awakeningcompletely,sheshookherheadandsighed.Youareaverysillybaby,Eleanor,shetoldherself,asshedideverymorning.

Theroomcameclearlyalivearoundher;shewasintheblueroomatHillHouse,thedimitycurtainsweremovingslightlyatthewindow,andthewildsplashinginthebathroommustbeTheodora,awake,suretobedressedandreadyfirst,certaintobehungry."Goodmorning,"Eleanorcalled,andTheodoraanswering,gasping,"Goodmorning-throughinaminute-I'llleavethetubfilledforyou-areyoustarving?BecauseIam."DoesshethinkIwouldn'tbatheunlesssheleftafulltubforme?Eleanorwondered,andthenwasashamed;Icameheretostopthinkingthingslikethat,shetoldherselfsternlyandrolledoutofbedandwenttothewindow.Shelookedoutacrosstheverandarooftothewidelawnbelow,withitsbushesandlittleclumpsoftreeswoundaroundwithmist.Fardownattheendofthelawnwasthelineoftreeswhichmarkedthepathtothecreek,althoughtheprospectofajollypicniconthegrasswasnot,thismorning,soappealing.Itwasclearlygoingtobewetallday,butitwasasummerrain,deepeningthegreenofthegrassandthetrees,sweeteningandcleaningtheair.It'scharming,Eleanorthought,surprisedatherself;shewonderedifshewasthefirstpersonevertofindHillHousecharmingandthenthought,chilled,Ordotheyallthinkso,thefirstmorning?Sheshivered,andfoundherselfatthesametimeunabletoaccountfortheexcitementshefelt,whichmadeitdifficulttorememberwhyitwassooddtowakeuphappyinHillHouse.

"I'llstarvetodeath."Theodorapoundedonthebathroomdoor,andEleanorsnatchedatherrobeandhurried."Trytolooklikeastraysunbeam,"Theodoracalledoutfromherroom."It'ssuchadarkdaywe'vegottobealittlebrighterthanusual."

Singbeforebreakfastyou'llcry'beforenight,Eleanortoldherself,becauseshehadbeensingingsoftly,"Indelaythereliesnoplenty…

"IthoughtIwasthelazyone,"Theodorasaidcomplacentlythroughthedoor,"butyou'remuch,muchworse.Lazyhardlybeginstodescribeyou.Youmustbecleanenoughnowtocomeandhavebreakfast."

"Mrs.Dudleysetsoutbreakfastatnine.Whatwillshethinkwhenweshowupbrightandsmiling?"

"Shewillsobwithdisappointment.Didanyonescreamforherinthenight,doyousuppose?"

Eleanorregardedasoapylegcritically."Isleptlikealog,"shesaid.

"SodidI.IfyouarenotreadyinthreeminutesIwillcomeinanddrownyou.Iwantmybreakfast."

Eleanorwasthinkingthatithadbeenaverylongtimesinceshehaddressedtolooklikeastraysunbeam,orbeensohungryforbreakfast,orarisensoaware,soconsciousofherself,sodeliberateandtenderinherattentions;sheevenbrushedherteethwithanicenessshecouldnotremembereverfeelingbefore.Itisalltheresultofagoodnight'ssleep,shethought;sinceMotherdiedImusthavebeensleepingevenmore'poorlythanIrealized.

"Aren'tyoureadyyet?"

"Coming,coming,"Eleanorsaid,andrantothedoor,rememberedthatitwasstilllocked,andunlockeditsoftly.Theodorawaswaitingforherinthehall,vividinthedullnessingaudyplaid;lookingatTheodora,itwasnotpossibleforEleanortobelievethatsheeverdressedorwashedormovedorateorsleptortalkedwithoutenjoyingeveryminuteofwhatshewasdoing;perhapsTheodoranevercaredatallwhatotherpeoplethoughtofher.

"Doyourealizethatwemaybeanotherhourorsojustfindingthedining

room?"Theodorasaid."Butmaybetheyhaveleftusamap-didyouknowthatLukeandthedoctorhavebeenupforhours?Iwastalkingtothemfromthewindow."

Theyhavestartedwithoutme,Eleanorthought;tomorrowIwillwakeupearlierandbetheretotalkfromthewindowtoo.Theycametothefootofthestairs,andTheodoracrossedthegreatdarkhallandputherhandconfidentlytoadoor."Here,"shesaid,butthedooropenedintoadim,echoingroomneitherofthemhadseenbefore.

"Here,"Eleanorsaid,butthedoorshechoseledontothenarrowpassagetothelittleparlorwherelastnighttheyhadsatbeforeafire.

"It'sacrossthehallfromthat,"Theodorasaid,andturned,baffled."Damnit,"shesaid,andputherheadbackandshouted."Luke?Doctor?"

Distantlytheyheardanansweringshout,andTheodoramovedtoopenanotherdoor."Iftheythink,"shesaidoverhershoulder,"thattheyaregoingtokeepmeforeverinthisfilthyhall,tryingonedoorafteranothertogettomybreakfast-"

"That'stherightone,Ithink,"Eleanorsaid,"withthedarkroomtogothrough,andthenthediningroombeyond."

Theodorashoutedagain,blunderedagainstsomelightpieceoffurniture,cursed,andthenthedoorbeyondwasopenedandthedoctorsaid,"Goodmorning."

"Foul,filthyhouse,"Theodorasaid,rubbingherknee."Goodmorning."

"Youwillneverbelievethisnow,ofcourse,"thedoctorsaid,"butthreeminutesagothesedoorswerewideopen.Weleftthemopensoyoucouldfindyourway.Wesathereandwatchedthemswingshutjustbeforeyoucalled.Well.Goodmorning."

"Kippers,"Lukesaidfromthetable."Goodmorning.Ihopeyouladiesarethekipperkind."

Theyhadcomethroughthedarknessofonenight,theyhadmetmorninginHillHouse,andtheywereafamily,greetingoneanotherwitheasyinformality

andgoingtothechairstheyhadusedlastnightatdinner,theirownplacesatthetable.

"AfinebigbreakfastiswhatMrs.Dudleycertainlyagreedtosetoutatnine,"Lukesaid,wavingafork."Wehadbeguntowonderifyouwerethecoffee-and-a-roll-in-bedtypes."

"Wewouldhavebeenheremuchsoonerinanyotherhouse,"Theodorasaid.

"Didyoureallyleaveallthedoorsopenforus?"Eleanorasked.

"That'showweknewyouwerecoming,"Luketoldher."Wesawthedoorsswingshut."

"Todaywewillnailallthedoorsopen,"Theodorasaid."IamgoingtopacethishouseuntilIcanfindfoodtentimesoutoften.Isleptwithmylightonallnight,"sheconfidedtothedoctor,"butnothinghappenedatall."

"Itwasallveryquiet,"thedoctorsaid.

"Didyouwatchoverusallnight?"Eleanorasked.

"Untilaboutthree,whenPamelafinallyputmetosleep.Therewasn'tasounduntiltherainstartedsometimeaftertwo.Oneofyouladiescalledoutinhersleeponce-"

"Thatmusthavebeenme,"Theodorasaidshamelessly.

"DreamingaboutthewickedsisteratthegatesofHillHouse."

"Idreamedabouthertoo,"Eleanorsaid.Shelookedatthedoctorandsaidsuddenly,"It'sembarrassing.Tothinkaboutbeingafraid,Imean."

"We'reallinittogether,youknow,"Theodorasaid.

"It'sworseifyoutrynottoshowit,"thedoctorsaid.

"Stuffyourselfveryfullofkippers,"Lukesaid."Thenitwillbeimpossibletofeelanythingatall."

Eleanorfelt,asshehadthedaybefore,thattheconversationwasbeing

skillfullyguidedawayfromthethoughtoffear,soverypresentinherownmind.Perhapsshewastobeallowedtospeakoccasionallyforallofthemsothat,quietingher,theyquietedthemselvesandcouldleavethesubjectbehindthem;perhaps,vehicleforeverykindoffear,shecontainedenoughforall.Theyarelikechildren,shethoughtcrossly,daringeachothertogofirst,readytoturnandcallnamesatwhoevercomeslast;shepushedherplateawayfromherandsighed.

"BeforeIgotosleeptonight,"Theodorawassayingtothedoctor,"IwanttobesurethatIhaveseeneveryinchofthishouse.Nomorelyingtherewonderingwhatisovermyheadorunderme.Andwehavetoopensomewindowsandkeepthedoorsopenandstopfeelingourwayaround."

"Littlesigns,"Lukesuggested."Arrowspointing,readingTHISWAYOUT."

"OrDEADEND,"Eleanorsaid.

"OrWATCHOUTFORFALLINGFURNITURE,"Theodorasaid."We'llmakethem,"shesaidtoLuke.

"Firstweallexplorethehouse,"Eleanorsaid,tooquicklyperhaps,becauseTheodoraturnedandlookedathercuriously.

"Idon'twanttofindmyselfleftbehindinanatticorsomething,"Eleanoraddeduncomfortably.

"Noonewantstoleaveyoubehindanywhere,"Theodorasaid.

"ThenIsuggest,"Lukesaid,"thatwefirstofallfinishoffthecoffeeinthepot,andthengonervouslyfromroomtoroom,endeavoringtodiscoversomerationalplantothishouse,andleavingdoorsopenaswego.Ineverthought,"hesaid,shakinghisheadsadly,"thatIwouldstandtoinheritahousewhereIhadtoputupsignstofindmywayaround."

"Weneedtofindoutwhattocalltherooms,"Theodorasaid.

"SupposeItoldyou,Luke,thatIwouldmeetyouclandestinelyinthesecond-bestdrawingroom-howwouldyoueverknowwheretofindme?"

"YoucouldkeepwhistlingtillIgotthere,"Lukeoffered.

Theodorashuddered."Youwouldhearmewhistling,andcallingyou,whileyouwanderedfromdoortodoor,neveropeningtherightone,andIwouldbeinside,notabletofindanywaytogetout-"

"Andnothingtoeat,"Eleanorsaidunkindly.

Theodoralookedatheragain."Andnothingtoeat,"sheagreedafteraminute.Then,"It'sthecrazyhouseatthecarnival,"shesaid."Roomsopeningoutofeachotheranddoorsgoingeverywhereatonceandswingingshutwhenyoucome,andIbetthatsomewheretherearemirrorsthatmakeyoulookallsidewaysandanairhosetoblowupyourskirts,andsomethingthatcomesoutofadarkpassageandlaughsinyourface-"Shewassuddenlyquietandpickeduphercupsoquicklythathercoffeespilled.

"Notasbadasallthat,"thedoctorsaideasily."Actually,thegroundfloorislaidoutinwhatImightalmostcallconcentriccirclesofrooms;atthecenteristhelittleparlorwherewesatlastnight;aroundit,roughly,areaseriesofrooms-thebilliardroom,forinstance,andadismallittledenentirelyfurnishedinrosecoloredsatin-"

"WhereEleanorandIwillgoeachmorningwithourneedlework."

"-andsurroundingthese-Icallthemtheinsideroomsbecausetheyaretheoneswithnodirectwaytotheoutside;theyhavenowindows,youremember-surroundingthesearetheringofoutsiderooms,thedrawingroom,thelibrary,theconservatory,the-"

"No,"Theodorasaid,shakingherhead."Iamstilllostbackintherosecoloredsatin."

"Andtheverandagoesallaroundthehouse.Therearedoorsopeningontotheverandafromthedrawingroom,andtheconservatory,andonesittingroom.Thereisalsoapassage-"

"Stop,stop."Theodorawaslaughing,butsheshookherhead."It'safilthy,rottenhouse."

Theswingingdoorinthecornerofthediningroomopened,andMrs.Dudleystood,onehandholdingthedooropen,lookingwithoutexpressionatthebreakfasttable."Iclearoffatten,"Mrs.Dudleysaid.

"Goodmorning,Mrs.Dudley,"Lukesaid.

Mrs.Dudleyturnedhereyestohim."Iclearoffatten,"shesaid."Thedishesaresupposedtobebackontheshelves.Itakethemoutagainforlunch.Isetoutlunchatone,butfirstthedisheshavetobebackontheshelves."

"Ofcourse,Mrs.Dudley."Thedoctorroseandputdownhisnapkin."Everybodyready?"heasked.

UnderMrs.Dudley'seyeTheodoradeliberatelyliftedhercupandfinishedthelastofhercoffee,thentouchedhermouthwithhernapkinandsatback."Splendidbreakfast,"shesaidconversationally."Dothedishesbelongtothehouse?"

"Theybelongontheshelves,"Mrs.Dudleysaid.

"Andtheglasswareandthesilverandthelinen?Lovelyoldthings."

"Thelinen,"Mrs.Dudleysaid,"belongsinthelinendrawersinthediningroom.Thesilverbelongsinthesilverchest.Theglassesbelongontheshelves."

"Wemustbequiteabothertoyou,"Theodorasaid.

Mrs.Dudleywassilent.'Finallyshesaid,"Iclearupatten.Isetoutlunchatone."

Theodoralaughedandrose."On,"shesaid,"on,on.Letusgoandopendoors."

Theybeganreasonablyenoughwiththedining-roomdoor,whichtheyproppedopenwithaheavychair.Theroombeyondwasthegameroom;thetableagainstwhichTheodorahadstumbledwasalowinlaidchesstable("Now,Icouldnothaveoverlookedthatlastnight,"thedoctorsaidirritably),andatoneendoftheroomwerecardtablesandchairs,andatallcabinetwherethechessmenhadbeen,withcroquetballsandthecribbageboard.

"Jollyspottospendacarefreehour,"Lukesaid,standinginthedoorwayregardingthebleakroom.Thecoldgreensofthetabletopswerereflectedunhappilyinthedarktilesaroundthefireplace;theinevitablewoodpanelingwas,here,notatallenlivenedbyaseriesofsportingprintswhichseemed

entirelydevotedtovariousmethodsofdoingwildanimalstodeath,andoverthemanteladeer-headlookeddownupontheminpatentembarrassment.

"Thisiswheretheycametoenjoythemselves,"Theodorasaid,andhervoiceechoedshakilyfromthehighceiling."Theycamehere,"sheexplained,"torelaxfromtheoppressiveatmosphereoftherestofthehouse."Thedeer-headlookeddownonhermournfully."Thosetwolittlegirls,"shesaid."Canwepleasetakedownthatbeastupthere?"

"Ithinkit'stakenafancytoyou,"Lukesaid."It'snevertakenitseyesoffyousinceyoucamein.Let'sgetoutofhere."

Theyproppedthedooropenastheyleft,andcameoutintothehall,whichshonedullyunderthelightfromtheopenrooms.

"Whenwefindaroomwithawindow,"thedoctorremarked,"wewillopenit;untilthen,letusbecontentwithopeningthefrontdoor."

"Youkeepthinkingofthelittlechildren,"EleanorsaidtoTheodora,"butIcan'tforgetthatlonelylittlecompanion,walkingaroundtheserooms,wonderingwhoelsewasinthehouse."

Luketuggedthegreatfrontdooropenandwheeledthebigvasetoholdit;"Freshair,"hesaidthankfully.Thewarmsmellofrainandwetgrasssweptintothehall,andforaminutetheystoodintheopendoorway,breathingairfromoutsideHillHouse.Thenthedoctorsaid,"Nowhereissomethingnoneofyouanticipated,"andheopenedasmalldoortuckedinbesidethetallfrontdoorandstoodback,smiling."Thelibrary,"hesaid."Inthetower."

"Ican'tgointhere,"Eleanorsaid,surprisingherself,butshecouldnot.Shebackedaway,overwhelmedwiththecoldairofmoldandearthwhichrushedather."Mymother-"shesaid,notknowingwhatshewantedtotellthem,andpressedherselfagainstthewall.

"Indeed?"saidthedoctor,regardingherwithinterest."Theodora?"Theodorashruggedandsteppedintothelibrary;Eleanorshivered."Luke?"saidthedoctor,butLukewasalreadyinside.FromwhereshestoodEleanorcouldseeonlyapartofthecircularwallofthelibrary,withanarrowironstaircasegoingupandperhaps,sinceitwasthetower,upandupandup;Eleanorshuthereyes,hearingthedoctor'svoicedistantly,hollowagainstthestoneofthelibrarywalls.

"Canyouseethelittletrapdoorupthereintheshadows?"hewasasking."Itleadsoutontoalittlebalcony,andofcoursethat'swheresheiscommonlysupposedtohavehangedherself-thegirl,youremember.Amostsuitablespot,certainly;moresuitableforsuicides,Iwouldthink,thanforbooks.Sheissupposedtohavetiedtheropeontotheironrailingandthenjuststepped-"

"Thanks,"Theodorasaidfromwithin."Icanvisualizeitperfectly,thankyou.Formyself,Iwouldprobablyhaveanchoredtheropeontothedeerheadinthegameroom,butIsupposeshehad'somesentimentalattachmenttothetower;whataniceword'attachment'isinthatcontext,don'tyouthink?"

"Delicious."ItwasLuke'svoice,louder;theywerecomingoutofthelibraryandbacktothehallwhereEleanorwaited."IthinkthatIwillmakethisroomintoanightclub.Iwillputtheorchestraupthereonthebalcony,anddancinggirlswillcomedownthatwindingironstaircase;thebar-"

"Eleanor,"Theodorasaid,"areyouallrightnow?It'saperfectlyawfulroom,andyouwererighttostayoutofit."

Eleanorstoodawayfromthewall;herhandswerecoldandshewantedtocry,butsheturnedherbacktothelibrarydoor,whichthedoctorproppedopenwithastackofbooks."Idon'tthinkI'lldomuchreadingwhileI'mhere,"shesaid,tryingtospeaklightly.

"Notifthebookssmelllikethelibrary."

"Ihadn'tnoticedasmell,"thedoctorsaid.HelookedinquiringlyatLuke,whoshookhishead."Odd,"thedoctorwenton,"andjustthekindofthingwe'relookingfor.Makeanoteofit,mydear,andtrytodescribeitexactly."

Theodorawaspuzzled.Shestoodinthehallway,turning,lookingbackofheratthestaircaseandthenaroundagainatthefrontdoor."Aretheretwofrontdoors?"sheasked."AmIjustmixedup?"

Thedoctorsmiledhappily;hehadclearlybeenhopingforsomesuchquestion."Thisistheonlyfrontdoor,"hesaid."Itistheoneyoucameinyesterday."

Theodorafrowned."Thenwhycan'tEleanorandIseethetowerfromourbedroomwindows?Ourroomslookoutoverthefrontofthehouse,andyet-"

Thedoctorlaughedandclappedhishands."Atlast,"hesaid.

"CleverTheodora.ThisiswhyIwantedyoutoseethehousebyday.Come,sitonthestairswhileItellyou."

Obedientlytheysettledonthestairs,lookingupatthedoctor,whotookonhislecturingstanceandbeganformally,"OneofthepeculiartraitsofHillHouseisitsdesign-"

"Crazyhouseatthecarnival."

"Precisely.Haveyounotwonderedatourextremedifficultyinfindingourwayaround?Anordinaryhousewouldnothavehadthefourofusinsuchconfusionforsolong,andyettimeaftertimewechoosethewrongdoors,theroomwewanteludesus.EvenIhavehadmytroubles."Hesighedandnodded."Idaresay,"hewenton,"thatoldHughCramexpectedthatsomedayHillHousemightbecomeashowplace,liketheWinchesterHouseinCaliforniaorthemanyoctagonhouses;hedesignedHillHousehimself,remember,and,Ihavetoldyoubefore,hewasastrangeman.Everyangle"-andthedoctorgesturedtowardthedoorway-"everyangleisslightlywrong.HughCrammusthavedetestedotherpeopleandtheirsensiblesquared-awayhouses,becausehemadehishousetosuithismind.Angleswhichyouassumearetherightanglesyouareaccustomedto,andhaveeveryrighttoexpectaretrue,areactuallyafractionofadegreeoffinonedirectionoranother.Iamsure,forinstance,thatyoubelievethatthestairsyouaresittingonarelevel,becauseyouarenotpreparedforstairswhicharenotlevel-"

Theymoveduneasily,andTheodoraputoutaquickhandtotakeholdofthebalustrade,asthoughshefeltshemightbefalling.

"-areactuallyonaveryslightslanttowardthecentralshaft;thedoorwaysareallaverylittlebitoffcenter-thatmaybe,bytheway,thereasonthedoorsswingshutunlesstheyareheld;Iwonderedthismorningwhethertheapproachingfootstepsofyoutwoladiesupsetthedelicatebalanceofthedoors.Ofcoursetheresultofallthesetinyaberrationsofmeasurementaddsuptoafairlylargedistortioninthehouseasawhole.Theodoracannotseethetowerfromherbedroomwindowbecausethetoweractuallystandsatthecornerofthehouse.FromTheodora'sbedroomwindowitiscompletelyinvisible,althoughfromhereitseemstobedirectlyoutsideherroom.ThewindowofTheodora’sroomis

actuallyfifteenfeettotheleftofwherewearenow."

Theodoraspreadherhandshelplessly."Golly,"shesaid.

"Isee,"Eleanorsaid."Theverandaroofiswhatmisleadsus.IcanlookoutmywindowandseetheverandaroofandbecauseIcamedirectlyintothehouseandupthestairsIassumedthatthefrontdoorwasrightbelow,althoughreally-"

"Youseeonlytheverandaroof,"thedoctorsaid."Thefrontdoorisfaraway;itandthetowerarevisiblefromthenursery,whichisthebigroomattheendofthehallway;wewillseeitlatertoday.Itis"-andhisvoicewassaddened-"amasterpieceofarchitecturalmisdirection.ThedoublestairwayatChambord-"

"Theneverythingisalittlebitoffcenter?"Theodoraaskeduncertainly."That'swhyitallfeelssodisjointed?"

"Whathappenswhenyougobacktoarealhouse?"Eleanorasked."Imean-a-well-arealhouse?"

"Itmustbelikecomingoffshipboard,"Lukesaid."Afterbeinghereforawhileyoursenseofbalancecouldbesodistortedthatitwouldtakeyouawhiletoloseyoursealegs,oryourHillHouselegs.Coulditbe,"heaskedthedoctor,"thatwhatpeoplehavebeenassumingweresupernaturalmanifestationswerereallyonlytheresultofaslightlossofbalanceinthepeoplewholivehere?Theinnerear,"hetoldTheodorawisely.

"Itmustcertainlyaffectpeopleinsomeway,"thedoctorsaid.

"Wehavegrowntotrustblindlyinoursensesofbalanceandreason,andIcanseewherethemindmightfightwildlytopreserveitsownfamiliarstablepatternsagainstallevidencethatitwasleaningsideways."Heturnedaway."Wehavemarvelsstillbeforeus,"hesaid,andtheycamedownfromthestairwayandfollowedhim,walkinggingerly,testingthefloorsastheymoved.Theywentdownthenarrowpassagetothelittleparlorwheretheyhadsatthenightbefore,andfromthere,leavingdoorsproppedopenbehindthem,theymovedintotheoutercircleofrooms,whichlookedoutontotheveranda.TheypulledheavydraperiesawayfromwindowsandthelightfromoutsidecameintoHillHouse.Theypassedthroughamusicroomwhereaharpstoodsternlyapartfromthem,withneverajangleofstringstomarktheirfootfalls.Agrandpianostoodtightlyshut,withacandelabraabove,nocandleevertouchedbyflame.Amarble-

toppedtableheldwaxflowersunderglass,andthechairsweretwig-thinandgilded.Beyondthiswastheconservatory,withtallglassdoorsshowingthemtherainoutside,andfernsgrowingdamplyaroundandoverwickerfurniture.Hereitwasuncomfortablymoist,andtheyleftitquickly,tocomethroughanarcheddoorwayintothedrawingroomandstand,aghastandincredulous.

"It'snotthere,"Theodorasaid,weakandlaughing."Idon'tbelieveit'sthere."Sheshookherhead."Eleanor,doyouseeittoo?"

"How…?"Eleanorsaidhelplessly.

"Ithoughtyouwouldbepleased."Thedoctorwascomplacent.Oneentireendofthedrawingroomwasinpossessionofamarblestatuarypiece;againstthemauvestripesandfloweredcarpetitwashugeandgrotesqueandsomehowwhitelynaked;Eleanorputherhandsoverhereyes,andTheodoraclungtoher.

"IthoughtitmightbeintendedforVenusrisingfromthewaves,"thedoctorsaid.

"Notatall,"saidLuke,findinghisvoice,itsSaintFranciscuringthelepers."

"No,no,"Eleanorsaid."Oneofthemisadragon."

"It'snoneofthat,"saidTheodoraroundly;"it'safamilyportrait,yousillies.Composite.Anyonewouldknowitatonce;thatfigureinthecenter,thattall,undraped-goodheavens!-masculineone,that'soldHugh,pattinghimselfonthebackbecausehebuiltHillHouse,andhistwoattendantnymphsarehisdaughters.Theoneontherightwhoseemstobebrandishinganearofcornisactuallytellingaboutherlawsuit,andtheotherone,thelittleoneontheend,isthecompanion,andtheoneontheotherend-"

"IsMrs.Dudley,donefromlife,"Lukesaid.

"Andthatgrassstuffthey'reallstandingonisreallysupposedtobethedining-roomcarpet,grownupalittle.Didanyoneelsenoticethatdining-roomcarpet?Itlookslikeafieldofhay,andyoucanfeelitticklingyourankles.Inback,thatkindofoverspreadingapple-treekindofthing,that's-"

"Asymboloftheprotectionofthehouse,surely,"Dr.Montaguesaid.

"I'dhatetothinkitmightfallonus,"Eleanorsaid."Sincethehouseissounbalanced,Doctor,isn'ttheresomechanceofthat?"

"Ihavereadthatthestatuewascarefully,andatgreatexpense,constructedtooffsettheuncertaintyoftheflooronwhichitstands.Itwasputin,atanyrate,whenthehousewasbuilt,andithasnotfallenyet.Itispossible,youknow,thatHughCramadmiredit,evenfounditlovely."

"Itisalsopossiblethatheusedittoscarehischildrenwith,"Theodorasaid."Whataprettyroomthiswouldbewithoutit."Sheturned,swinging."Adancingroom,"shesaid,"forladiesinfullskirts,androomenoughforafullcountrydance.HughCram,willyoutakeaturnwithme?"andshecurtsiedtothestatue.

"Ibelievehe'sgoingtoaccept,"Eleanorsaid,takinganinvoluntarystepbackward.

"Don'tlethimtreadonyourtoes,"thedoctorsaid,andlaughed."RememberwhathappenedtoDonJuan."

Theodoratouchedthestatuetimidly,puttingherfingeragainsttheoutstretchedhandofoneofthefigures."Marbleisalwaysashock,"shesaid."Itneverfeelslikeyouthinkit'sgoingto.Isupposealifesizestatuelooksenoughlikearealpersontomakeyouexpecttofeelskin."Then,turningagain,andshimmeringinthedimroom,shewaltzedalone,turningtobowtothestatue.

"Attheendoftheroom,"thedoctorsaidtoEleanorandLuke,"underthosedraperies,aredoorsleadingontotheveranda;whenTheodoraisheatedfromdancingshemaystepoutintothecoolerair."Hewentthelengthoftheroomtopullasidetheheavybluedraperiesandopenedthedoors.Againthesmellofthewarmraincamein,andaburstofwind,sothatalittlebreathseemedtomoveacrossthestatue,andlighttouchedthecoloredwalls.

"Nothinginthishousemoves,"Eleanorsaid,"untilyoulookaway,andthenyoujustcatchsomethingfromthecornerofyoureye.Lookatthelittlefigurinesontheshelves;whenweallhadourbacksturnedtheyweredancingwithTheodora."

"Imove,"Theodorasaid,circlingtowardthem.

"Flowersunderglass,"Lukesaid."Tassels.Iambeginningtofancythis

house."

TheodorapulledatEleanor'shair."Raceyouaroundtheveranda,"shesaidanddartedforthedoors.Eleanor,withnotimeforhesitationorthought,followed,andtheyranoutontotheveranda.Eleanor,runningandlaughing,camearoundacurveoftheverandatofindTheodoragoinginanotherdoor,andstopped,breathless.Theyhadcometothekitchen,andMrs.Dudley,turningawayfromthesink,watchedthemsilently.

"Mrs.Dudley,"Theodorasaidpolitely,"we'vebeenexploringthehouse."

Mrs.Dudley'seyesmovedtotheclockontheshelfoverthestove."Itishalf-pasteleven,"shesaid."I-"

"-setlunchonatone,"Theodorasaid."We'dliketolookoverthekitchen,ifwemay.We'veseenalltheotherdownstairsrooms,Ithink."

Mrs.Dudleywasstillforaminuteandthen,movingherheadacquiescently,turnedandwalkeddeliberatelyacrossthekitchentoafartherdoorway.Whensheopenedittheycouldseethebackstairsbeyond,andMrs.Dudleyturnedandclosedthedoorbehindherbeforeshestartedup.Theodoracockedherheadatthedoorwayandwaitedaminutebeforeshesaid,"IwonderifMrs.Dudleyhasasoftspotinherheartforme,Ireallydo."

"Isupposeshe'sgoneuptohangherselffromtheturret,"Eleanorsaid."Let'sseewhat'sforlunchwhilewe'rehere."

"Don'tjoggleanything,"Theodorasaid."Youknowperfectlywellthatthedishesbelongontheshelves.Doyouthinkthatwomanreallymeanstomakeusasoufflé?Hereiscertainlyasoufflédish,andeggsandcheese-"

"It'sanicekitchen,"Eleanorsaid."Inmymother'shousethekitchenwasdarkandnarrow,andnothingyoucookedthereeverhadanytasteorcolor."

"Whataboutyourownkitchen?"Theodoraaskedabsently."Inyourlittleapartment?Eleanor,lookatthedoors."

"Ican'tmakeasoufflé,"Eleanorsaid.

"Look,Eleanor.There'sthedoorontotheveranda,andanotherthatopensonto

stepsgoingdown-tothecellar,Iguess-andanotherovertheregoingontotheverandaagain,andtheonesheusedtogoupstairs,andanotheroneoverthere-"

"Totheverandaagain,"Eleanorsaid,openingit."Threedoorsgoingoutontotheverandafromonekitchen."

"Andthedoortothebutler'spantryandonintothediningroom.OurgoodMrs.Dudleylikesdoors,doesn'tshe?Shecancertainly"-andtheireyesmet-"getoutfastinanydirectionifshewantsto."

Eleanorturnedabruptlyandwentbacktotheveranda."IwonderifshehadDudleycutextradoorsforher.Iwonderhowshelikesworkinginakitchenwhereadoorinbackofhermightopenwithoutherknowingit.Iwonder,actually,justwhatMrs.Dudleyisinthehabitofmeetinginherkitchensothatshewantstomakesurethatshe'llfindawayoutnomatterwhichdirectionsheruns.Iwonder-"

"Shutup,"Theodorasaidamiably."Anervouscookcan'tmakeagoodsoufflé,anyoneknowsthat,andshe'sprobablylisteningonthestairs.Letuschooseoneofherdoorsandleaveitopenbehindus."

Lukeandthedoctorwerestandingontheveranda,lookingoutoverthelawn;thefrontdoorwasoddlyclose,beyondthem.Behindthehouse,seemingalmostoverhead,thegreathillsweremutedanddullintherain.Eleanorwanderedalongtheveranda,thinkingthatshehadneverbeforeknownahousesocompletelysurrounded.Likeaverytightbelt,shethought;wouldthehouseflyapartiftheverandacameoff?Shewentwhatshethoughtmustbethegreatpartofthecirclearoundthehouse,andthenshesawthetower.Itroseupbeforehersuddenly,almostwithoutwarning,asshecamearoundthecurveoftheveranda.Itwasmadeofgraystone,grotesquelysolid,jammedhardagainstthewoodensideofthehouse,withtheinsistentverandaholdingitthere.Hideous,shethought,andthenthoughtthatifthehouseburnedawaysomedaythetowerwouldstillstand,grayandforbiddingovertheruins,warningpeopleawayfromwhatwasleftofHillHouse,withperhapsastonefallenhereandthere,soowlsandbatsmightflyinandoutandnestamongthebooksbelow.Halfwayupwindowsbegan,thinangledslitsinthestone,andshewonderedwhatitwouldbelike,lookingdownfromthem,andwonderedthatshehadnotbeenabletoenterthetower.Iwillneverlookdownfromthosewindows,shethought,andtriedtoimaginethenarrowironstairwaygoingupandaroundinside.Highon

topwasaconicalwoodenroof,toppedbyawoodenspire.Itmusthavebeenlaughableinanyotherhouse,buthereinHillHouseitbelonged,gleefulandexpectant,awaitingperhapsaslightcreaturecreepingoutfromthelittlewindowontotheslantedroof,reachinguptothespire,knottingarope.

"You'llfall,"Lukesaid,andEleanorgasped;shebroughthereyesdownwithaneffortandfoundthatshewasgripingtheverandarailtightlyandleaningfarbackward."Don'ttrustyourbalanceinmycharmingHillHouse,"Lukesaid,andEleanorbreatheddeeply,dizzy,andstaggered.Hecaughtherandheldherwhileshetriedtosteadyherselfintherockingworldwherethetreesandthelawnseemedsomehowtiltedsidewaysandtheskyturnedandswung.

"Eleanor?"Theodorasaidnearby,andsheheardthesoundofthedoctor'sfeetrunningalongtheveranda."Thisdamnablehouse,"Lukesaid."Youhavetowatchiteveryminute."

"Eleanor?"saidthedoctor.

"I'mallright,"Eleanorsaid,shakingherheadandstandingunsteadilybyherself."IwasleaningbacktoseethetopofthetowerandIgotdizzy."

"ShewasstandingalmostsidewayswhenIcaughther,"Lukesaid.

"I'vehadthatfeelingonceortwicethismorning,"Theodorasaid,"asthoughIwaswalkingupthewall."

"Bringherbackinside,"thedoctorsaid."It'snotsobadwhenyou'reinsidethehouse."

"I'mreallyallright,"Eleanorsaid,verymuchembarrassed,andshewalkedwithdeliberatestepsalongtheverandatothefrontdoor,whichwasclosed."Ithoughtweleftitopen,"shesaidwithalittleshakeinhervoice,andthedoctorcamepastherandpushedtheheavydooropenagain.Inside,thehallhadreturnedtoitself;allthedoorstheyhadleftopenwereneatlyclosed.Whenthedoctoropenedthedoorintothegameroomtheycouldseebeyondhimthatthedoorstothediningroomwereclosed,andthelittlestooltheyhadusedtoproponedooropenwasneatlybackinplaceagainstthewall.Intheboudoirandthedrawingroom,theparlorandtheconservatory,thedoorsandwindowswereclosed,thedraperiespulledtogether,andthedarknessbackagain.

"It'sMrs.Dudley,"Theodorasaid,trailingafterthedoctorandLuke,whomovedquicklyfromoneroomtothenext,pushingdoorswideopenagainandproppingthem,sweepingdrapesawayfromwindowsandlettinginthewarm,wetair."Mrs.Dudleydidityesterday,assoonasEleanorandIwereoutoftheway,becauseshe'drathershutthemherselfthancomealongandfindthemshutbythemselvesbecausethedoorsbelongshutandthewindowsbelongshutandthedishesbelong-"Shebegantolaughfoolishly,andthedoctorturnedandfrownedatherwithirritation.

"Mrs.Dudleyhadbetterlearnherplace,"hesaid."IwillnailthesedoorsopenifIhaveto."Heturneddownthepassagewaytotheirlittleparlorandsentthedoorswingingopenwithacrash.

"Losingmytemperwillnothelp,"hesaid,andgavethedooraviciouskick.

"Sherryintheparlorbeforelunch,"Lukesaidamiably."Ladies,enter"

4-2"Mrs.Dudley,"thedoctorsaid,puttingdownhisfork,"anadmirablesoufflé."

Mrs.Dudleyturnedtoregardhimbrieflyandwentintothekitchenwithanemptydish.

Thedoctorsighedandmovedhisshoulderstiredly."Aftermyvigillastnight,Ifeeltheneedofarestthisafternoon,andyou,"hesaidtoEleanor,"woulddowelltoliedownforanhour.Perhapsaregularafternoonrestmightbemorecomfortableforallofus."

"Isee,"saidTheodora,amused."Imusttakeanafternoonnap.ItmaylookfunnywhenIgohomeagain,butIcanalwaystellthemthatitwaspartofmyscheduleatHillHouse."

"Perhapswewillhavetroublesleepingatnight,"thedoctorsaid,andalittlechillwentaroundthetable,darkeningthelightofthesilverandthebrightcolorsofthechina,alittlecloudthatdriftedthroughthediningroomandbroughtMrs.Dudleyafterit.

"It'sfiveminutesoftwo,"Mrs.Dudleysaid.

4-3Eleanordidnotsleepduringtheafternoon,althoughshewouldhavelikedto;

instead,shelayonTheodora'sbedinthegreenroomandwatchedTheodoradohernails,chattinglazily,unwillingtoletherselfperceivethatshehadfollowedTheodoraintothegreenroombecauseshehadnotdaredtobealone.

"Ilovedecoratingmyself,"Theodorasaid,regardingherhandaffectionately."I'dliketopaintmyselfallover."

Eleanormovedcomfortably."Goldpaint,"shesuggested,hardlythinking.WithhereyesalmostclosedshecouldseeTheodoraonlyasamassofcolorsittingonthefloor.

"Nailpolishandperfumeandbathsalts,"Theodorasaid,asonetellingthecitiesoftheNile."Mascara.Youdon'tthinkhalfenoughofsuchthings,Eleanor."

Eleanorlaughedandclosedhereyesaltogether."Notime,"shesaid.

"Well,"Theodorasaidwithdetermination,"bythetimeI'mthroughwithyou,youwillbeadifferentperson;Idislikebeingwithwomenofnocolor."Shelaughedtoshowthatshewasteasing,andthenwenton,"IthinkIwillputredpolishonyourtoes."

Eleanorlaughedtooandheldoutherbarefoot.Afteraminute,nearlyasleep,shefelttheoddcoldlittletouchofthebrushonhertoes,andshivered.

"Surelyafamouscourtesanlikeyourselfisaccustomedtotheministrationsofhandmaidens,"Theodorasaid."Yourfeetaredirty."

Shocked,Eleanorsatupandlooked;herfeetweredirty,andhernailswerepaintedbrightred."It'shorrible,"shesaidtoTheodora,"it'swicked,"wantingtocry.Then,helplessly,shebegantolaughatthelookonTheodora'sface."I'llgoand-washmyfeet,"shesaid.

"Golly."Theodorasatonthefloorbesidethebed,staring."Look,"shesaid."Myfeetaredirty,too,baby,honest.Look."

"Anyway,"Eleanorsaid,"Ihatehavingthingsdonetome."

"You'reaboutascrazyasanyoneIeversaw,"Theodorasaidcheerfully.

"Idon'tliketofeelhelpless,"Eleanorsaid."Mymother-"

"Yourmotherwouldhavebeendelightedtoseeyouwithyourtoenailspaintedred,"Theodorasaid."Theylooknice."

Eleanorlookedatherfeetagain."It'swicked,"shesaidinadequately."Imean-onmyfeet.ItmakesmefeellikeIlooklikeafool."

"You'vegotfoolishnessandwickednesssomehowmixedup."Theodorabegantogatherherequipmenttogether."Anyway,Iwon'ttakeitoffandwe'llbothwatchtoseewhetherLukeandthedoctorlookatyourfeetfirst."

"NomatterwhatItrytosay,youmakeitsoundfoolish,"Eleanorsaid.

"Orwicked."Theodoralookedupathergravely."Ihaveahunch,"shesaid,"thatyououghttogohome,Eleanor."

Isshelaughingatme?Eleanorwondered;hasshedecidedthatIamnotfittostay?"Idon'twanttogo,"shesaid,andTheodoralookedatheragainquicklyandthenaway,andtouchedEleanor'stoessoftly."Thepolishisdry,"shesaid."I'manidiot.Justsomethingfrightenedmeforaminute."Shestoodupandstretched."Let'sgolookfortheothers,"shesaid.

4-4Lukeleanedhimselfwearilyagainstthewalloftheupstairshall,hishead

restingagainstthegoldframeofanengravingofaruin."Ikeepthinkingofthishouseasmyownfutureproperty,"hesaid,"morenowthanIdidbefore;Ikeeptellingmyselfthatitwillbelongtomesomeday,andIkeepaskingmyselfwhy."Hegesturedatthelengthofthehall."IfIhadapassionfordoors,"hesaid,"orgildedclocks,orminiatures;ifIwantedaTurkishcornerofmyown,IwouldverylikelyregardHillHouseasafairylandofbeauty."

"It'sahandsomehouse,"thedoctorsaidstaunchly."Itmusthavebeenthoughtofaselegantwhenitwasbuilt."Hestartedoffdownthehall,tothelargeroomontheendwhichhadoncebeenthenursery."Now,"hesaid,"weshallseethetowerfromawindow"-andshiveredashepassedthroughthedoor.Thenheturnedandlookedbackcuriously."Couldtherebeadraftacrossthatdoorway?"

"Adraft?InHillHouse?"Theodoralaughed."Notunlessyoucouldmanagetomakeoneofthosedoorsstayopen."

"Comehereoneatatime,then,"thedoctorsaid,andTheodoramovedforward,grimacingasshepassedthedoorway.

"Likethedoorwayofatomb,"shesaid."It'swarmenoughinside,though."

Lukecame,hesitatedinthecoldspot,andthenmovedquicklytogetoutofit,andEleanor,following,feltwithincredulitythepiercingcoldthatstruckherbetweenonestepandthenext;itwaslikepassingthroughawallofice,shethought,andaskedthedoctor,"Whatisit?"

Thedoctorwaspattinghishandstogetherwithdelight."YoucankeepyourTurkishcorners,myboy,"hesaid.Hereachedoutahandandhelditcarefullyoverthelocationofthecold."Theycannotexplainthis,"hesaid."Theveryessenceofthetomb,asTheodorapointsout.ThecoldspotinBorleyRectoryonlydroppedelevendegrees,"hewentoncomplacently."This,Ishouldthink,isconsiderablycolder.Theheartofthehouse."

TheodoraandEleanorhadmovedtostandclosertogether;althoughthenurserywaswarm,itsmelledmustyandclose,andthecoldcrossingthedoorwaywasalmosttangible,visibleasabarrierwhichmustbecrossedinorder

togetout.Beyondthewindowsthegraystoneofthetowerpressedclose;inside,theroomwasdarkandthelineofnurseryanimalspaintedalongthewallseemedsomehownotatalljolly,butasthoughtheyweretrapped,orrelatedtothedyingdeerinthesportingprintsofthegameroom.Thenursery,largerthantheotherbedrooms,hadanindefinableairofneglectfoundnowhereelseinHillHouse,anditcrossedEleanor'smindthatevenMrs.Dudley'sdiligentcaremightnotbringheracrossthatcoldbarrieranyoftenerthannecessary.

Lukehadsteppedbackacrossthecoldspotandwasexaminingthehallcarpet,thenthewalls,pattingatthesurfacesasthoughhopingtodiscoversomecausefortheoddcold."Itcouldn'tbeadraft,"hesaid,lookingupatthedoctor."Unlessthey'vegotadirectairlinetotheNorthPole.Everything'ssolid,anyway."

"Iwonderwhosleptinthenursery,"thedoctorsaidirrelevantly."Doyousupposetheyshutitup,oncethechildrenweregone?"

"Look,"Lukesaid,pointing.Ineithercornerofthehall,overthenurserydoorway,twogrinningheadswereset;meant,apparently,asgaydecorationsforthenurseryentrance,theywerenomorejollyorcarefreethantheanimalsinside.Theirseparatestares,capturedforeverindistortedlaughter,metandlockedatthepointofthehallwheretheviciouscoldcentered."Whenyoustandwheretheycanlookatyou,"Lukeexplained,"theyfreezeyou."

Curiously,thedoctorsteppeddownthehalltojoinhim,lookingup."Don'tleaveusaloneinhere,"Theodorasaid,andranoutofthenursery,pullingEleanorthroughthecold,whichwaslikeafastslap,oraclosecoldbreath."Afineplacetochillourbeer,"shesaid,andputouthertongueatthegrinningfaces.

"Imustmakeafullaccountofthis,"thedoctorsaidhappily.

"Itdoesn'tseemlikeanimpartialcold,"Eleanorsaid,awkwardbecauseshewasnotquitesurewhatshemeant."Ifeltitasdeliberate,asthoughsomethingwantedtogivemeanunpleasantshock."

"It'sbecauseofthefaces,Isuppose,"thedoctorsaid;hewasonhishandsandknees,feelingalongthefloor."Measuringtapeandthermometer,"hetoldhimself,"chalkforanoutline;perhapsthecoldintensifiesatnight?Everythingisworse,"hesaid,lookingatEleanor,"ifyouthinksomethingislookingatyou."

Lukesteppedthroughthecold,withashiver,andclosedthedoortothenursery;hecamebacktotheothersinthehallwithakindofleap,asthoughhethoughthecouldescapethecoldbynottouchingthefloor.Withthenurserydoorclosedtheyrealizedallatoncehowmuchdarkerithadbecome,andTheodorasaidrestlessly,"Let'sgetdownstairstoourparlor;Icanfeelthosehillspushingin.

"Afterfive,"Lukesaid."Cocktailtime.Isuppose,"hesaidtothedoctor,"youwilltrustmetomixyouacocktailagaintonight?"

"Toomuchvermouth,"thedoctorsaid,andfollowedthemlingeringly,watchingthenurserydooroverhisshoulder.

4-5"Ipropose,"thedoctorsaid,settingdownhisnapkin,"thatwetakeourcoffee

inourlittleparlor.Ifindthatfireverycheerful."

Theodoragiggled."Mrs.Dudley'sgone,solet'sracearoundfastandgetallthosedoorsandwindowsopenandtakeeverythingdownfromtheshelves-"

"Thehouseseemsdifferentwhenshe'snotinit,"Eleanorsaid.

"Emptier."Lukelookedatherandnodded;hewasarrangingthecoffeecupsonatray,andthedoctorhadalreadygoneon,doggedlyopeningdoorsandproppingthem."EachnightIrealizesuddenlythatwefourarealonehere."

"AlthoughMrs.Dudley'snotmuchgoodasfarascompanyisconcerned;it'sfunny,"Eleanorsaid,lookingdownatthedinnertable,"IdislikeMrs.Dudleyasmuchasanyofyou,butmymotherwouldneverletmegetupandleaveatablelookinglikethisuntilmorning."

"Ifshewantstoleavebeforedarkshehastoclearawayinthemorning,"Theodorasaidwithoutinterest."I'mcertainlynotgoingtodoit."

"It'snotnicetowalkawayandleaveadirtytable."

"Youcouldn'tgetthembackontherightshelvesanyway,andshe'dhavetodoitalloveragainjusttogetyourfingermarksoffthings."

"IfIjusttookthesilverwareandletitsoak-"

"No,"Theodorasaid,catchingherhand."Doyouwanttogooutintothatkitchenallalone,withallthosedoors?"

"No,"Eleanorsaid,settingdownthehandfulofforksshehadgathered."IguessIdon't,really."Shelingeredtolookuneasilyatthetable,atthecrumplednapkinsandthedropofwinespilledbyLuke'splace,andshookherhead."Idon'tknowwhatmymotherwouldsay,though."

"Comeon,"Theodorasaid."They'veleftlightsforus."

Thefireinthelittleparlorwasbright,andTheodorasatdownbesidethe

coffeetraywhileLukebroughtbrandyfromthecupboardwherehehadcarefullysetitawaythenightbefore.

"Wemustbecheerfulatallcosts,"hesaid."I'llchallengeyouagaintonight,Doctor."

Beforedinnertheyhadransackedtheotherdownstairsroomsforcomfortablechairsandlamps,andnowtheirlittleparlorwaseasilythepleasantestroominthehouse."HillHousehasreallybeenverykindtous,"Theodorasaid,givingEleanorhercoffee,andEleanorsatdowngratefullyinapillowy,overstuffedchair.

"NodirtydishesforEleanortowash,apleasanteveningingoodcompany,andperhapsthesunshiningagaintomorrow."

"Wemustplanourpicnic,"Eleanorsaid.

"IamgoingtogetfatandlazyinHillHouse,"Theodorawenton.HerinsistenceonnamingHillHousetroubledEleanor.It'sasthoughsheweresayingitdeliberately,Eleanorthought,tellingthehousesheknowsitsname,callingthehousetotellitwhereweare;isitbravado?"HillHouse,HillHouse,HillHouse,"Theodorasaidsoftly,andsmiledacrossatEleanor.

"Tellme,"LukesaidpolitelytoTheodora,"sinceyouareaprincess,tellmeaboutthepoliticalsituationinyourcountry."

"Veryunsettled,"Theodorasaid."Iranawaybecausemyfather,whoisofcoursetheking,insiststhatImarryBlackMichael,whoisthepretendertothethrone.I,ofcourse,cannotendurethesightofBlackMichael,whowearsonegoldearringandbeatshisgroomswitharidingcrop."

"Amostunstablecountry,"Lukesaid."Howdidyouevermanagetogetaway?"

"Ifledinahaywagon,disguisedasamilkmaid.Theyneverthoughttolookformethere,andIcrossedtheborderwithpapersIforgedmyselfinawoodcutter'shut."

"AndBlackMichaelwillnodoubttakeoverthecountrynowinacoupd'état?"

"Undoubtedly.Andhecanhaveit."

It'slikewaitinginadentist'soffice,Eleanorthought,watchingthemoverhercoffeecup;waitinginadentist'sofficeandlisteningtootherpatientsmakebravejokesacrosstheroom,allofyoucertaintomeetthedentistsoonerorlater.Shelookedupsuddenly,awareofthedoctornearher,andsmileduncertainly.

"Nervous?"thedoctorasked,andEleanornodded.

"OnlybecauseIwonderwhat'sgoingtohappen,"shesaid.

"SodoI."Thedoctormovedachairandsatdownbesideher.

"Youhavethefeelingthatsomething-whateveritis-isgoingtohappensoon?"

"Yes.Everythingseemstobewaiting."

"Andthey"-thedoctornoddedatTheodoraandLuke,whowerelaughingateachother-"theymeetitintheirway;Iwonderwhatitwilldotoallofus.Iwouldhavesaidamonthagothatasituationlikethiswouldneverreallycomeabout,thatwefourwouldsitheretogether,inthishouse."Hedoesnotnameit,Eleanornoticed."I'vebeenwaitingforalongtime,"hesaid.

"Youthinkwearerighttostay?"

"Right?"hesaid."Ithinkweareallincrediblysillytostay.Ithinkthatanatmospherelikethisonecanfindouttheflawsandfaultsandweaknessesinallofus,andbreakusapartinamatterofdays.Wehaveonlyonedefense,andthatisrunningaway.Atleastitcan'tfollowus,canit?Whenwefeelourselvesendangeredwecanleave,justaswecame.And,"headdeddryly,"justasfastaswecan

"Butweareforewarned,"Eleanorsaid,"andtherearefourofustogether."

"IhavealreadymentionedthistoLukeandTheodora,"hesaid.

"Promisemeabsolutelythatyouwillleave,asfastasyoucan,ifyoubegintofeelthehousecatchingatyou."

"Ipromise,"Eleanorsaid,smiling.Heistryingtomakemefeelbraver,she

thought,andwasgrateful."It'sallright,though,"shetoldhim."Really,it'sallright."

"Iwillfeelnohesitationaboutsendingyouaway,"hesaid,rising,"ifitseemstobenecessary.Luke?"hesaid."Willtheladiesexcuseus?"

WhiletheysetupthechessboardandmenTheodorawandered,cupinhand,aroundtheroom,andEleanorthought,Shemoveslikeananimal,nervousandalert;shecan'tsitstillwhilethereisanyscentofdisturbanceintheair;wearealluneasy."Comeandsitbyme,"'shesaid,andTheodoracame,movingwithgrace,circlingtoarestingspot.Shesatdowninthechairthedoctorhadleft,andleanedherheadbacktiredly;howlovelysheis,Eleanorthought,howthoughtlessly,luckilylovely."Areyoutired?"

Theodoraturnedherhead,smiling."Ican'tstandwaitingmuchlonger."

"Iwasjustthinkinghowrelaxedyoulooked."

"AndIwasjustthinkingof-whenwasit?daybeforeyesterday?-andwonderinghowIcouldhavebroughtmyselftoleavethereandcomehere.PossiblyI'mhomesick."

"Already?"

"Didyoueverthinkaboutbeinghomesick?IfyourhomewasHillHousewouldyoubehomesickforit?Didthosetwolittlegirlscryfortheirdark,grimhousewhentheyweretakenaway?"

"I'veneverbeenawayfromanywhere,"Eleanorsaidcarefully,"soIsupposeI'veneverbeenhomesick."

"Howaboutnow?Yourlittleapartment?"

"Perhaps,"Eleanorsaid,lookingintothefire,"Ihaven'thaditlongenoughtobelieveit'smyown."

"Iwantmyownbed,"Theodorasaid,andEleanorthought,Sheissulkingagain;whensheishungryortiredorboredsheturnsintoababy."I'msleepy,"Theodorasaid.

"It's'aftereleven,"Eleanorsaid,andassheturnedtoglanceatthechessgamethedoctorshoutedwithjoyfultriumph,andLukelaughed.

"Now,sir,"thedoctorsaid."Now,sir."

"Fairlybeaten,Iadmit,"Lukesaid.Hebegantogatherthechessmenandsetthembackintotheirbox."AnyreasonwhyIcan'ttakeadropofbrandyupstairswithme?Toputmyselftosleep,orgivemyselfDutchcourage,orsomesuchreason.Actually"-andhesmiledoveratTheodoraandEleanor-"Iplantostayupandreadforawhile."

"AreyoustillreadingPamela?'Eleanoraskedthedoctor.

"Volumetwo.Ihavethreevolumestogo,andthenIshallbeginClarissaHarlowe,Ithink.PerhapsLukewouldcaretoborrow-"

"No,thanks,"Lukesaidhastily."Ihaveasuitcasefullofmysterystories."

Thedoctorturnedtolookaround."Letmesee,"hesaid,"firescreened,lightsout.LeavethedoorsforMrs.Dudleytocloseinthemorning."

Tiredly,followingoneanother,theywentupthegreatstairway,turningoutlightsbehindthem."Haseveryonegotaflashlight,bytheway?"thedoctorasked,andtheynodded,moreintentuponsleepthanthewavesofdarknesswhichcameafterthemupthestairsofHillHouse.

"Goodnight,everyone,"Eleanorsaid,openingthedoortotheblueroom.

"Goodnight,"Lukesaid.

"Goodnight,"Theodorasaid.

"Goodnight,"thedoctorsaid."Sleeptight."

4-6"Coming,mother,coming,"Eleanorsaid,fumblingforthelight."It'sallright,

I'mcoming."Eleanor,sheheard,Eleanor."Coming,coming,"sheshoutedirritably,"justaminute,I'mcoming."

"Eleanor?"

Thenshethought,withacrashingshockwhichbroughtherawake,coldandshivering,outofbedandawake:IaminHillHouse.

"What?"shecriedout."What?Theodora?"

"Eleanor?Inhere."

"Coming."Notimeforthelight;shekickedatableoutoftheway,wonderingatthenoiseofit,andstruggledbrieflywiththedooroftheconnectingbathroom.Thatisnotthetablefalling,shethought;mymotherisknockingonthewall.ItwasblessedlylightinTheodora'sroom,andTheodorawassittingupinbed,herhairtangledfromsleepandhereyeswidewiththeshockofawakening;Imustlookthesameway,Eleanorthought,andsaid,"I'mhere,whatisit?"-andthenheard,clearlyforthefirsttime,althoughshehadbeenhearingiteversincesheawakened."Whatisit?"shewhispered.

ShesatdownslowlyonthefootofTheodora'sbed,wonderingatwhatseemedcalmnessinherself.Now,shethought,now.Itisonlyanoise,andterriblycold,terribly,terriblycold.Itisanoisedownthehall,fardownattheend,nearthenurserydoor,andterriblycold,notmymotherknockingonthewall.

"Somethingisknockingonthedoors,"Theodorasaidinatoneofpurerationality.

"That'sall.Andit'sdownneartheotherendofthehall.Lukeandthedoctorareprobablytherealready,toseewhatisgoingon."Notatalllikemymotherknockingonthewall;Iwasdreamingagain.

"Bangbang,"Theodorasaid.

"Bang,"Eleanorsaid,andgiggled.Iamcalm,shethought,butsoverycold;thenoiseisonlyakindofbangingonthedoors,oneafteranother;isthiswhatI

wassoafraidabout?"Bang"isthebestwordforit;itsoundslikesomethingchildrendo,notmothersknockingagainstthewallforhelp,andanywayLukeandthedoctorarethere;isthiswhattheymeanbycoldchillsgoingupanddownyourback?Becauseitisnotpleasant;itstartsinyourstomachandgoesin.wavesaroundandupanddownagainlikesomethingalive.Likesomethingalive.Yes.Likesomethingalive.

"Theodora,"shesaid,andclosedhereyesandtightenedherteethtogetherandwrappedherarmsaroundherself,"it'sgettingcloser."

"Justanoise,"Theodorasaid,andmovednexttoEleanorandsattightagainsther."Ithasanecho."

Itsounded,Eleanorthought,likeahollownoise,ahollowbang,asthoughsomethingwerehittingthedoorswithanironkettle,oranironbar,oranironglove.Itpoundedregularlyforaminute,andthensuddenlymoresoftly,andthenagaininaquickflurry,seemingtobegoingmethodicallyfromdoortodoorattheendofthehall.DistantlyshethoughtshecouldhearthevoicesofLukeandthedoctor,callingfromsomewherebelow,andshethought,Thentheyarenotupherewithusatall,andheardtheironcrashingagainstwhatmusthavebeenadoorveryclose.

"Maybeitwillgoondowntheothersideofthehall,"Theodorawhispered,andEleanorthoughtthattheoddestpartofthisindescribableexperiencewasthatTheodorashouldbehavingittoo."No,"Theodorasaid,andtheyheardthecrashagainstthedooracrossthehall.Itwaslouder,itwasdeafening,itstruckagainstthedoornexttothem(diditmovebackandforthacrossthehall?diditgoonfeetalongthecarpet?diditliftahandtothedoor?),andEleanorthrewherselfawayfromthebedandrantoholdherhandsagainstthedoor."Goaway,"sheshoutedwildly.

"Goaway,goaway!"

Therewascompletesilence,andEleanorthought,standingwithherfaceagainstthedoor,NowI'vedoneit;itwaslookingfortheroomwithsomeoneinside.

Thecoldcreptandpinchedatthem,fillingandoverflowingtheroom.AnyonewouldhavethoughtthattheinhabitantsofHillHousesleptsweetlyinthisquiet,andthen,sosuddenlythatEleanorwheeledaround,thesoundofTheodora's

teethchattering,andEleanorlaughed."Youbigbaby,"shesaid.

"I'mcold,"Theodorasaid."Deadlycold."

"SoamI."EleanortookthegreenquiltandthrewitaroundTheodora,andtookupTheodora'swarmdressinggownandputiton."Youwarmernow?"

"Where'sLuke?Where'sthedoctor?"

"Idon'tknow.Areyouwarmernow?"

"No."Theodorashivered.

"InaminuteI'llgooutinthehallandcallthem;areyou-"

Itstartedagain,asthoughithadbeenlistening,waitingtoheartheirvoicesandwhattheysaid,toidentifythem,toknowhowwellpreparedtheywereagainstit,waitingtoheariftheywereafraid.SosuddenlythatEleanorleapedbackagainstthebedandTheodoragaspedandcriedout,theironcrashcameagainsttheirdoor,andbothofthemliftedtheireyesinhorror,becausethehammeringwasagainsttheupperedgeofthedoor,higherthaneitherofthemcouldreach,higherthanLukeorthedoctorcouldreach,andthesickening,degradingcoldcameinwavesfromwhateverwasoutsidethedoor.

Eleanorstoodperfectlystillandlookedatthedoor.Shedidnotquiteknowwhattodo,althoughshebelievedthatshewasthinkingcoherentlyandwasnotunusuallyfrightened,notmorefrightened,certainly,thanshehadbelievedinherworstdreamsshecouldbe.Thecoldtroubledherevenmorethanthesounds;evenTheodora'swarmrobewasuselessagainsttheicylittlecurlsoffingersonherback.Theintelligentthingtodo,perhaps,wastowalkoverandopenthedoor;that,perhaps,wouldbelongwiththedoctor'sviewsofpurescientificinquiry.Eleanorknewthat,evenifherfeetwouldtakeherasfarasthedoor,herhandwouldnotlifttothedoorknob;impartially,remotely,shetoldherselfthatnoone'shandwouldtouchthatknob;it'snottheworkhandsweremadefor,shetoldherself.Shehadbeenrockingalittle,eachcrashagainstthedoorpushingheralittlebackward,andnowshewasstillbecausethenoisewasfading."I'mgoingtocomplaintothejanitorabouttheradiators,"Theodorasaidfrombehindher."Isitstopping?"

"No,"Eleanorsaid,sick."No."

Ithadfoundthem.SinceEleanorwouldnotopenthedoor,itwasgoingtomakeitsownwayin.Eleanorsaidaloud,"NowIknowwhypeoplescream,becauseIthinkI'mgoingto,"andTheodorasaid,"Iwillifyouwill,"andlaughed,sothatEleanorturnedquicklybacktothebedandtheyheldeachother,listeninginsilence.Littlepattingscamefromaroundthedoorframe,smallseekingsounds,feelingtheedgesofthedoor,tryingtosneakawayin.Thedoorknobwasfondled,andEleanor,whispering,asked,"Isitlocked?"andTheodoranoddedandthen,wide-eyed,turnedtostareattheconnectingbathroomdoor."Mine'slockedtoo,"Eleanorsaidagainstherear,andTheodoraclosedhereyesinrelief.Thelittlestickysoundsmovedonaroundthedoorframeandthen,asthoughafurycaughtwhateverwasoutside,thecrashingcameagain,andEleanorandTheodorasawthewoodofthedoortrembleandshake,andthedoormoveagainstitshinges.

"Youcan'tgetin,"Eleanorsaidwildly,andagaintherewasasilence,asthoughthehouselistenedwithattentiontoherwords,understanding,cynicallyagreeing,contenttowait.Athinlittlegigglecame,inabreathofairthroughtheroom,alittlemadrisinglaugh,thesmallestwhisperofalaugh,andEleanorhearditallupanddownherback,alittlegloatinglaughmovingpastthemaroundthehouse,andthensheheardthedoctorandLukecallingfromthestairsand,mercifully,itwasover.

Whentherealsilencecame,Eleanorbreathedshakilyandmovedstiffly."We'vebeenclutchingeachotherlikeacoupleoflostchildren,"TheodorasaidanduntwinedherarmsfromaroundEleanor'sneck."You'rewearingmybathrobe."

"Iforgotmine.Isitreallyover?"

"Fortonight,anyway."Theodoraspokewithcertainty."Can'tyoutell?Aren'tyouwarmagain?"

Thesickeningcoldwasgone,exceptforareminiscentlittlethrillofitdownEleanor'sbackwhenshelookedatthedoor.Shebegantopullatthetightknotshehadputinthebathrobecord,andsaid,

"Intensecoldisoneofthesymptomsofshock."

"IntenseshockisoneofthesymptomsI'vegot,"Theodorasaid.

"HerecomeLukeandthedoctor."Theirvoiceswereoutsideinthehall,speakingquickly,anxiously,andEleanordroppedTheodora'srobeonthebedandsaid,"Forheaven'ssake,don'tletthemknockonthatdoor-onemoreknockwouldfinishme"-andranintoherownroomtogetherownrobe.BehindhershecouldhearTheodoratellingthemtowaitaminute,andthengoingtounlockthedoor,andthenLuke'svoicesayingpleasantlytoTheodora,"Why,youlookasthoughyou'dseenaghost."

WhenEleanorcamebackshenoticedthatbothLukeandthedoctorweredressed,anditoccurred,toherthatitmightbeasoundideafromnowon;ifthatintensecoldwasgoingtocomebackatnightitwasgoingtofindEleanorsleepinginawoolsuitandaheavysweater,andshedidn'tcarewhatMrs.Dudleywasgoingtosaywhenshefoundthatatleastoneoftheladyguestswaslyinginoneofthecleanbedsinheavyshoesandwoolsocks."Well,"sheasked,"howdoyougentlemenlikelivinginahauntedhouse?"

"It'sperfectlyfine,"Lukesaid,"perfectlyfine.Itgivesmeanexcusetohaveadrinkinthemiddleofthenight."

Hehadthebrandybottleandglasses,andEleanorthoughtthattheymustmakeacompanionablelittlegroup,thefourofthem,sittingaroundTheodora'sroomatfourinthemorning,drinkingbrandy.Theyspokelightly,quickly,andgaveoneanotherfast,hidden,littlecuriousglances,eachofthemwonderingwhatsecretterrorhadbeentappedintheothers,whatchangesmightshowinfaceorgesture,whatunguardedweaknessmighthaveopenedthewaytoruin.

"Didanythinghappeninherewhilewewereoutside?"thedoctorasked.EleanorandTheodoralookedateachotherandlaughed,honestlyatlast,withoutanyedgeofhysteriaorfear.AfteraminuteTheodorasaidcarefully,"Nothinginparticular.Someoneknockedonthedoorwithacannonballandthentriedtogetinandeatus,andstartedlaughingitsheadoffwhenwewouldn'topenthedoor.Butnothingreallyoutoftheway."

Curiously,Eleanorwentoverandopenedthedoor."Ithoughtthewholedoorwasgoingtoshatter,"shesaid,bewildered,"andthereisn'tevenascratchonthewood,noronanyoftheotherdoors;they'reperfectlysmooth."

"Hownicethatitdidn'tmarthewoodwork,"Theodorasaid,holdingherbrandyglassouttoLuke."Icouldn'tbearitifthisdearoldhousegothurt."She

grinnedatEleanor."Nellieherewasgoingtoscream."

"Sowereyou."

"Notatall;Ionlysaidsotokeepyoucompany.Besides,Mrs.Dudleyalreadysaidshewouldn'tcome.Andwherewereyou,ourmanlydefenders?"

"Wewerechasingadog,"Lukesaid."Atleast,someanimallikeadog."Hestopped,andthenwentonreluctantly."Wefolloweditoutside."

Theodorastared,andEleanorsaid,"Youmeanitwasinside?"

"Isawitrunpastmydoor,"thedoctorsaid,"justcaughtaglimpseofit,slippingalong.IwokeLukeandwefolloweditdownthestairsandoutintothegardenandlostitsomewherebackofthehouse."

"Thefrontdoorwasopen?"

"No,"Lukesaid."Thefrontdoorwasclosed.Sowerealltheotherdoors.Wechecked."

"We'vebeenwanderingaroundforquiteawhile,"thedoctorsaid."Weneverdreamedthatyouladieswereawakeuntilweheardyourvoices."Hespokegravely."Thereisonethingwehavenottakenintoaccount,"hesaid.

Theylookedathim,puzzled,andheexplained,checkingonhisfingersinhislecturestyle."First,"hesaid,"LukeandIwereawakenedearlierthanyouladies,clearly;wehavebeenupandabout,outsideandin,forbetterthantwohours,ledonwhatyouperhapsmightallowmetocallawild-goosechase.Second,neitherofus"-heglancedinquiringlyatLukeashespoke-"heardanysounduphereuntilyourvoicesbegan.Itwasperfectlyquiet.Thatis,thesoundwhichhammeredonyourdoorwasnotaudibletous.Whenwegaveupourvigilanddecidedtocomeupstairsweapparentlydroveawaywhateverwaswaitingoutsideyourdoor.Now,aswesitheretogether,allisquiet."

"Istilldon'tseewhatyoumean,"Theodorasaid,frowning.

"Wemusttakeprecautions,"hesaid.

"Againstwhat?How?"

"WhenLukeandIarecalledoutside,andyoutwoarekeptimprisonedinside,doesn'titbegintoseem"-andhisvoicewasveryquiet-"doesn'titbegintoseemthattheintentionis,somehow,toseparateus?"

Chapter5Lookingatherselfinthemirror,withthebrightmorningsunlightfreshening

eventheblueroomofHillHouse,Eleanorthought,ItismysecondmorninginHillHouse,andIamunbelievablyhappy.Journeysendinloversmeeting;Ihavespentanallbutsleeplessnight,Ihavetoldliesandmadeafoolofmyself,andtheveryairtasteslikewine.Ihavebeenfrightenedhalfoutofmyfoolishwits,butIhavesomehowearnedthisjoy;Ihavebeenwaitingforitforsolong.Abandoningalifelongbeliefthattonamehappinessistodissipateit,shesmiledatherselfinthemirrorandtoldherselfsilently,Youarehappy,Eleanor,youhavefinallybeengivenapartofyourmeasureofhappiness.Lookingawayfromherownfaceinthemirror,shethoughtblindly,Journeysendinloversmeeting,loversmeeting.

"Luke?"ItwasTheodora,callingoutsideinthehall."Youcarriedoffoneofmystockingslastnight,andyouareathievingcad,andIhopeMrs.Dudleycanhearme."

EleanorcouldhearLuke,faintly,answering;heprotestedthatagentlemanhadarighttokeepthefavorsbestoweduponhimbyalady,andhewasabsolutelycertainthatMrs.Dudleycouldheareveryword.

"Eleanor?"NowTheodorapoundedontheconnectingdoor.

"Areyouawake?MayIcomein?"

"Come,ofcourse,"Eleanorsaid,lookingatherownfaceinthemirror.Youdeserveit,shetoldherself,youhavespentyourlifeearningit.Theodoraopenedthedoorandsaidhappily,"Howprettyyoulookthismorning,myNell.Thiscuriouslifeagreeswithyou."

Eleanorsmiledather;thelifeclearlyagreedwithTheodoratoo.

"Weoughtbyrightstobewalkingaroundwithdarkcirclesunderoureyesandalookofwilddespair,"Theodorasaid,puttinganarmaroundEleanorandlookingintothemirrorbesideher,"andlookatus-twoblooming,freshyounglovelies."

"I'mthirty-fouryearsold,"Eleanorsaid,andwonderedwhatobscuredefiance

madeheraddtwoyears.

"Andyoulookaboutfourteen,"Theodorasaid."Comealong;we'veearnedourbreakfast."

Laughing,theyraceddownthegreatstaircaseandfoundtheirwaythroughthegameroomandintothediningroom."Goodmorning,"Lukesaidbrightly."Andhowdideveryonesleep?"

"Delightfully,thankyou,"Eleanorsaid."Likeababy."

"Theremayhavebeenalittlenoise,"Theodorasaid,"butonehastoexpectthatintheseoldhouses.Doctor,whatdowedothismorning?"

"Hmm?"saidthedoctor,lookingup.Healonelookedtired,buthiseyeswerelightedwiththesamebrightnesstheyfound,all,inoneanother;itisexcitement,Eleanorthought;weareallenjoyingourselves.

"BallechinHouse,"thedoctorsaid,savoringhiswords."BorleyRectory.GlamisCastle.Itisincredibletofindoneselfexperiencingit,absolutelyincredible.Icouldnothavebelievedit.Ibegintounderstand,dimly,theremotedelightofyourtruemedium.IthinkIshallhavethemarmalade,ifyouwouldbesokind.Thankyou.Mywifewillneverbelieveme.Foodhasanewflavor-doyoufinditso?"

"Itisn'tjustthatMrs.Dudleyhassurpassedherself,then;Iwaswondering,"Lukesaid.

"I'vebeentryingtoremember,"Eleanorsaid."Aboutlastnight,Imean.IcanrememberknowingthatIwasfrightened,butIcan'timagineactuallybeingfrightened-"

"Irememberthecold,"Theodorasaid,andshivered.

"Ithinkit'sbecauseitwassounrealbyanypatternofthoughtI'musedto;Imean,itjustdidn'tmakesense."Eleanorstoppedandlaughed,embarrassed.

"Iagree,"Lukesaid."Ifoundmyselfthismorningtellingmyselfwhathadhappenedlastnight;thereverseofabaddream,asamatteroffact,whereyoukeeptellingyourselfthatitdidn'treallyhappen."

"Ithoughtitwasexciting,"Theodorasaid.

Thedoctorliftedawarningfinger."Itisstillperfectlypossiblethatitisallcausedbysubterraneanwaters."

"Thenmorehousesoughttobebuiltoversecretsprings,"Theodorasaid.

Thedoctorfrowned."Thisexcitementtroublesme,"hesaid.

"Itisintoxicating,certainly,butmightitnotalsobedangerous?AneffectoftheatmosphereofHillHouse?Thefirstsignthatwehave-asitwere-fallenunderaspell?"

"ThenIwillbeanenchantedprincess,"Theodorasaid.

"Andyet,"Lukesaid,"iflastnightisatruemeasureofHillHouse,wearenotgoingtohavemuchtrouble;wewerefrightened,certainly,andfoundtheexperienceunpleasantwhileitwasgoingon,andyetIcannotrememberthatIfeltinanyphysicaldanger;evenTheodoratellingthatwhateverwasoutsideherdoorwascomingtoeatherdidnotreallysound-"

"Iknowwhatshemeant,"Eleanorsaid,"becauseIthoughtitwasexactlytherightword.Thesensewasthatitwantedtoconsumeus,takeusintoitself,makeusapartofthehouse,maybe-oh,dear.IthoughtIknewwhatIwassaying,butI'mdoingitverybadly."

"Nophysicaldangerexists,"thedoctorsaidpositively."Noghostinallthelonghistoriesofghostshaseverhurtanyonephysically.Theonlydamagedoneisbythevictimtohimself.Onecannotevensaythattheghostattacksthemind,becausethemind,theconscious,thinkingmind,isinvulnerable;inallourconsciousminds,aswesitheretalking,thereisnotoneiotaofbeliefinghosts.Notoneofus,evenafterlastnight,cansaytheword'ghost'withoutalittleinvoluntarysmile.No,themenaceofthesupernaturalisthatitattackswheremodernmindsareweakest,wherewehaveabandonedourprotectivearmorofsuperstitionandhavenosubstitutedefense.Notoneofusthinksrationallythatwhatranthroughthegardenlastnightwasaghost,andwhatknockedonthedoorwasaghost;andyettherewascertainlysomethinggoingoninHillHouselastnight,andthemind'sinstinctiverefuge-self-doubt-iseliminated.Wecannotsay,'Itwasmyimagination,'becausethreeotherpeopleweretheretoo."

"Icouldsay,"Eleanorputin,smiling,“’allthreeofyouareinmyimagination;noneofthisisreal.'"

"IfIthoughtyoucouldreallybelievethat,"thedoctorsaidgravely,"IwouldturnyououtofHillHousethismorning.YouwouldbeventuringfartooclosetothestateofmindwhichwouldwelcometheperilsofHillHousewithakindofsisterlyembrace."

"Hemeanshewouldthinkyouwerebatty,Nelldear."

"Well,"Eleanorsaid,"IexpectIwouldbe.IfIhadtotakesideswithHillHouseagainsttherestofyou,Iwouldexpectyoutosendmeaway."Whyme,shewondered,whyme?AmIthepublicconscience?Expectedalwaystosayincoldwordswhattherestofthemaretooarroganttorecognize?AmIsupposedtobetheweakest,weakerthanTheodora?Ofallofus,shethought,Iamsurelytheoneleastlikelytoturnagainsttheothers.

"Poltergeistsareanotherthingaltogether,"thedoctorsaid,hiseyesrestingbrieflyonEleanor."Theydealentirelywiththephysicalworld;theythrowstones,theymoveobjects,theysmashdishes;Mrs.FoysteratBorleyRectorywasalong-sufferingwoman,butshefinallylosthertemperentirelywhenherbestteapotwashurledthroughthewindow.Poltergeists,however,arerock-bottomonthesupernaturalsocialscale;theyaredestructive,butmindlessandwill-less;theyaremerelyundirectedforce.Doyourecall,"heaskedwithalittlesmile,"OscarWilde'slovelystory,'TheCantervilleGhost'?"

"TheAmericantwinswhoroutedthefineoldEnglishghost,"Theodorasaid.

"Exactly.IhavealwayslikedthenotionthattheAmericantwinswereactuallyapoltergeistphenomenon;certainlypoltergeistscanovershadowanymoreinterestingmanifestation.Badghostsdriveoutgood."Andhepattedhishandshappily."Theydriveouteverythingelse,too,"headded."ThereisamanorinScotland,infestedwithpoltergeists,whereasmanyasseventeenspontaneousfireshavebrokenoutinoneday;poltergeistsliketoturnpeopleoutofbedviolentlybytippingthebedendoverend,andIrememberthecaseofaministerwhowasforcedtoleavehishomebecausehewastormented,dayafterday,byapoltergeistwhohurledathisheadhymnbooksstolenfromarivalchurch."

Suddenly,withoutreason,laughtertrembledinsideEleanor;shewantedtoruntotheheadofthetableandhugthedoctor,shewantedtoreel,chanting,across

thestretchesofthelawn,shewantedtosingandtoshoutandtoflingherarmsandmoveingreatemphatic,possessingcirclesaroundtheroomsofHillHouse;Iamhere,Iamhere,shethought.Sheshuthereyesquicklyindelightandthensaiddemurelytothedoctor,"Andwhatdowedotoday?"

"You'restilllikeapackofchildren,"thedoctorsaid,smilingtoo."Alwaysaskingmewhattodotoday.Can'tyouamuseyourselveswithyourtoys?Orwitheachother?Ihaveworktodo."

"AllIreallywanttodo"-andTheodoragiggled-"isslidedownthatbanister."TheexcitedgaietyhadcaughtherasithadEleanor.

"Hideandseek,"Lukesaid.

"Trynottowanderaroundalonetoomuch,"thedoctorsaid."Ican'tthinkofagoodreasonwhynot,butitdoesseemsensible."

"Becausetherearebearsinthewoods,"Theodorasaid.

"Andtigersintheattic,"Eleanorsaid.

"Andanoldwitchinthetower,andadragoninthedrawingroom."

"Iamquiteserious,"thedoctorsaid,laughing.

"It'steno'clock.Iclear-"

"Goodmorning,Mrs.Dudley,"thedoctorsaid,andEleanorandTheodoraandLukeleanedbackandlaughedhelplessly.

"Iclearatteno'clock."

"Wewon'tkeepyoulong.Aboutfifteenminutes,please,andthenyoucanclearthetable."

"Iclearbreakfastatteno'clock.Isetonlunchatone.DinnerIsetonatsix.It'steno'clock."

"Mrs.Dudley,"thedoctorbegansternly,andthen,noticingLuke'sfacetightwithsilentlaughter,liftedhisnapkintocoverhiseyes,andgavein."Youmay

clearthetable,Mrs.Dudley,"thedoctorsaidbrokenly.

Happily,thesoundoftheirlaughterechoingalongthehallsofHillHouseandcarryingtothemarblegroupinthedrawingroomandthenurseryupstairsandtheoddlittletoptothetower,theymadetheirwaydownthepassagetotheirparlorandfell,stilllaughing,intochairs."WemustnotmakefunofMrs.Dudley,"thedoctorsaidandleanedforward,hisfaceinhishandsandhisshouldersshaking.

Theylaughedforalongtime,speakingnowandtheninhalfphrases,tryingtotelloneanothersomething,pointingatoneanotherwildly,andtheirlaughterrockedHillHouseuntil,weakandaching,theylayback,spent,andregardedoneanother."Now-"thedoctorbegan,andwasstoppedbyalittlegigglingburstfromTheodora.

"Now,"thedoctorsaidagain,moreseverely,andtheywerequiet."Iwantmorecoffee,"hesaid,appealing."Don'tweall?"

"YoumeangorightinthereandaskMrs.Dudley?"Eleanorasked.

"Walkrightuptoherwhenitisn'toneo'clockorsixo'clockandjustaskherforsomecoffee?"Theodorademanded.

"Roughly,yes,"thedoctorsaid."Luke,myboy,IhaveobservedthatyouarealreadysomethingofafavoritewithMrs.Dudley-"

"Andhow,"Lukeinquiredwithamazement,"didyouevermanagetoobserveanythingsounlikely?Mrs.Dudleyregardsmewiththesameparticularloathingshegivesadishnotproperlyonitsshelf;inMrs.Dudley'seyes-"

"Youare,afterall,theheirtothehouse,"thedoctorsaidcoaxingly."Mrs.Dudleymustfeelforyouasanoldfamilyretainerfeelsfortheyoungmaster."

"InMrs.Dudley'seyesIamsomethinglowerthanadroppedfork.Ibegofyou,ifyouarecontemplatingaskingtheoldfoolforsomething,sendTheo,orourcharmingNell.Theyarenotafraid-"

"Nope,"Theodorasaid."Youcan'tsendahelplessfemaletofacedownMrs.Dudley.NellandIareheretobeprotected,nottomanthebattlementsforyoucowards."

"Thedoctor-"

"Nonsense,"thedoctorsaidheartily."Youcertainlywouldn'tthinkofaskingme,anolderman;anyway,youknowsheadoresyou.

"Insolentgraybeard,"Lukesaid."Sacrificingmeforacupofcoffee.Donotbesurprised,andIsayitdarkly,donotbesurprisedifyouloseyourLukeinthiscause;perhapsMrs.Dudleyhasnotyethadherownmidmorningsnack,andsheisperfectlycapableofafiletdeLukeàlameuniére,orperhapsdieppoise,dependinguponhermood;ifIdonotreturn"-andheshookhisfingerwarninglyunderthedoctor'snose-"Ientreatyoutoregardyourlunchwiththegravestsuspicion."Bowingextravagantly,asbefittedoneofftoslayagiant,heclosedthedoorbehindhim.

"LovelyLuke."Theodorastretchedluxuriously.

"LovelyHillHouse,"Eleanorsaid."Theo,thereisakindoflittlesummerhouseinthesidegarden,allovergrown;Inoticedityesterday.Canweexploreitthismorning?"

"Delighted,"Theodorasaid."IwouldnotliketoleaveoneinchofHillHouseuncherished.Anyway,it'stoonice,adaytostayinside."

"We'llaskLuketocometoo,"Eleanorsaid."Andyou,Doctor?"

"Mynotes-"thedoctorbegan,andthenstoppedasthedooropenedsosuddenlythatinEleanor'smindwasonlythethoughtthatLukehadnotdaredfaceMrs.Dudleyafterall,buthadstood,waiting,pressedagainstthedoor;then,lookingathiswhitefaceandhearingthedoctorsaywithfury,"Ibrokemyownfirstrule;Isenthimalone,"shefoundherselfonlyaskingurgently,"Luke?Luke?"

"It'sallright."Lukeevensmiled."Butcomeintothelonghallway."

Chilledbyhisfaceandhisvoiceandhissmile,theygotupsilentlyandfollowedhimthroughthedoorwayintothedarklonghallwaywhichledbacktothefronthall."Here,"Lukesaid,andalittlewindingshiverofsicknesswentdownEleanor'sbackwhenshesawthathewasholdingalightedmatchuptothewall.

"It's-writing?"Eleanorasked,pressingclosertosee.

"Writing,"Lukesaid."Ididn'tevennoticeituntilIwascomingback.Mrs.Dudleysaidno,"headded,hisvoicetight.

"Myflash."Thedoctortookhisflashlightfromhispocket,andunderitslight,ashemovedslowlyfromoneendofthehalltotheother,thelettersstoodoutclearly."Chalk,"thedoctorsaid,steppingforwardtotouchaletterwiththetipofhisfinger.

"Writteninchalk."

Thewritingwaslargeandstragglingandoughttohavelooked,Eleanorthought,asthoughithadbeenscribbledbybadboysonafence.Instead,itwasincrediblyreal,goinginbrokenlinesoverthethickpanelingofthehallway.Fromoneendofthehallwaytotheothertheletterswent,almosttoolargetoread,evenwhenshestoodbackagainsttheoppositewall.

"Canyoureadit?"Lukeaskedsoftly,andthedoctor,movinghisflashlight,readslowly:HELPELEANORCOMEHOME.

"No."AndEleanorfeltthewordsstopinherthroat;shehadseenhernameasthedoctorreadit.Itisme,shethought.Itismynamestandingouttheresoclearly;Ishouldnotbeonthewallsofthishouse."Wipeitoff,please,"shesaid,andfeltTheodora'sarmgoaroundhershoulders."It'scrazy,"Eleanorsaid,bewildered.

"Crazyistheword,allright,"Theodorasaidstrongly."Comebackinside,Nell,andsitdown.Lukewillgetsomethingandwipeitoff."

"Butit'scrazy,"Eleanorsaid,hangingbacktoseehernameonthewall."Why-?"

Firmlythedoctorputherthroughthedoorintothelittleparlorandclosedit;Lukehadalreadyattackedthemessagewithhishandkerchief."Nowyoulistentome,"thedoctorsaidtoEleanor.

"Justbecauseyourname-"

"That'sit,"Eleanorsaid,staringathim."Itknowsmyname,doesn'tit?It

knowsmyname."

"Shutup,willyou?"Theodorashookherviolently."Itcouldhavesaidanyofus;itknowsallournames."

"Didyouwriteit?"EleanorturnedtoTheodora."Pleasetellme-Iwon'tbeangryoranything,justsoIcanknowthat-maybeitwasonlyajoke?Tofrightenme?"Shelookedappealinglyatthedoctor.

"Youknowthatnoneofuswroteit,"thedoctorsaid.

Lukecamein,wipinghishandsonhishandkerchief,andEleanorturnedhopefully."Luke,"shesaid,"youwroteit,didn'tyou?Whenyouwentout?"

Lukestared,andthencametositonthearmofherchair.

"Listen,"hesaid,"youwantmetogowritingyournameeverywhere?Carvingyourinitialsontrees?Writing'Eleanor,Eleanor'onlittlescrapsofpaper?"Hegaveherhairasoftlittlepull."I'vegotmoresense,"hesaid."Behaveyourself."

"Thenwhyme?"Eleanorsaid,lookingfromoneofthemtoanother;Iamoutside,shethoughtmadly,Iamtheonechosen,andshesaidquickly,beggingly,"DidIdosomethingtoattractattention,morethananyoneelse?"

"Nomorethanusual,dear,"Theodorasaid.Shewasstandingbythefireplace,leaningonthemantelandtappingherfingers,andwhenshespokeshelookedatEleanorwithabrightsmile.

"Maybeyouwroteityourself."

Angry,Eleanoralmostshouted."YouthinkIwanttoseemynamescribbledalloverthisfoulhouse?YouthinkIliketheideathatI'mthecenterofattention?I'mnotthespoiledbaby,afterall-Idon'tlikebeingsingledout-"

"Askingforhelp,didyounotice?"Theodorasaidlightly."Perhapsthespiritofthepoorlittlecompanionhasfoundameansofcommunicationatlast.Maybeshewasonlywaitingforsomedrab,timid-"

"Maybeitwasonlyaddressedtomebecausenopossibleappealforhelpcouldgetthroughthatironselfishnessofyours;maybeImighthavemoresympathy

andunderstandinginoneminutethan-"

"Andmaybe,ofcourse,youwroteittoyourself,"Theodorasaidagain.

Afterthemannerofmenwhoseewomenquarreling,thedoctorandLukehadwithdrawn,standingtighttogetherinmiserablesilence;now,atlast,Lukemovedandspoke."That'senough,Eleanor,"hesaid,unbelievably,andEleanorwhirledaround,stamping."Howdareyou?"shesaid,gasping."Howdareyou?"

Andthedoctorlaughed,then,andshestaredathimandthenatLuke,whowassmilingandwatchingher.Whatiswrongwithme?shethought.Then-buttheythinkTheodoradiditonpurpose,madememadsoIwouldn'tbefrightened;howshamefultobemaneuveredthatway.Shecoveredherfaceandsatdowninherchair.

"Nell,dear,"Theodorasaid,"Iamsorry."

Imustsaysomething,EleanortoldherselfImustshowthemthatIamagoodsport,afterall;agoodsport;letthemthinkthatIamashamedofmyself."I'msorry,"shesaid."Iwasfrightened."

"Ofcourseyouwere,"thedoctorsaid,andEleanorthought,Howsimpleheis,howtransparent;hebelieveseverysillythinghehaseverheard.Hethinks,even,thatTheodorashockedmeoutofhysteria.Shesmiledathimandthought,NowIambackinthefold.

"Ireallythoughtyouweregoingtostartshrieking,"Theodorasaid,comingtokneelbyEleanor'schair."Iwouldhave,inyourplace.Butwecan'taffordtohaveyoubreakup,youknow."

Wecan'taffordtohaveanyonebutTheodorainthecenterofthestage,Eleanorthought;ifEleanorisgoingtobetheoutsider,sheisgoingtobeitallalone.ShereachedoutandpattedTheodora'sheadandsaid,"Thanks.IguessIwaskindofshakyforaminute."

"Iwonderedifyoutwoweregoingtocometoblows,"Lukesaid,"untilIrealizedwhatTheodorawasdoing."

SmilingdownintoTheodora'sbright,happyeyes,Eleanorthought,Butthatisn'twhatTheodorawasdoingatall.

5-2TimepassedlazilyatHillHouse.EleanorandTheodora,thedoctorandLuke,

alertagainstterror,wrappedaroundbytherichhillsandsecurelysetintothewarm,darkluxuriesofthehouse,werepermittedaquietdayandaquietnight-enough,perhaps,todullthemalittle.Theytooktheirmealstogether,andMrs.Dudley'scookingstayedperfect.Theytalkedtogetherandplayedchess;thedoctorfinishedPamelaandbeganonSirCharlesGrandison.Acompellingneedforoccasionalprivacyledthemtospendsomehoursaloneintheirseparaterooms,withoutdisturbance.TheodoraandEleanorandLukeexploredthetangledthicketbehindthehouseandfoundthelittlesummerhouse,whilethedoctorsatonthewidelawn,writing,withinsightandhearing.Theyfoundawalled-inrosegarden,grownoverwithweeds,andavegetablegardentenderlynourishedbytheDudleys.Theyspokeoftenofarrangingtheirpicnicbythebrook.Therewerewildstrawberriesnearthesummerhouse,andTheodoraandEleanorandLukebroughtbackahandkerchieffullandlayonthelawnnearthedoctor,eatingthem,stainingtheirhandsandtheirmouths;likechildren,thedoctortoldthem,lookingupwithamusementfromhisnotes.Eachofthemhadwritten-carelessly,andwithlittleattentiontodetail-anaccountofwhattheythoughttheyhadseenandheardsofarinHillHouse,andthedoctorhadputthepapersawayinhisportfolio.Thenextmorning-theirthirdmorninginHillHouse-thedoctor,aidedbyLuke,hadspentalovingandmaddeninghourontheflooroftheupstairshall,trying,withchalkandmeasuringtape,todeterminetheprecisedimensionsofthecoldspot,whileEleanorandTheodorasatcross-leggedonthehallfloor,notingdownthedoctor'smeasurementsandplayingtic-tac-toe.Thedoctorwasconsiderablyhamperedinhisworkbythefactthat,hishandsrepeatedlychilledbytheextremecold,hecouldnotholdeitherthechalkorthetapeformorethanaminuteatatime.Luke,insidethenurserydoorway,couldholdoneendofthetapeuntilhishandcameintothecoldspot,andthenhisfingersloststrengthandrelaxedhelplessly.Athermometer,droppedintothecenterofthecoldspot,refusedtoregisteranychangeatall,butcontinueddoggedlymaintainingthatthetemperaturetherewasthesameasthetemperaturedowntherestofthehall,causingthedoctortofumewildlyagainstthestatisticiansofBorleyRectory,whohadcaughtaneleven-degreedrop.Whenhehaddefinedthecoldspotaswellashecould,andnotedhisresultsinhisnotebook,hebroughtthemdownstairsforlunchandissuedageneralchallengetothem,tomeethimatcroquetinthecooloftheafternoon.

"Itseemsfoolish,"heexplained,"tospendamorningasgloriousasthishasbeenlookingatafrigidplaceonafloor.Wemustplantospendmoretimeoutside"-andwasmildlysurprisedwhentheylaughed.

"Istherestillaworldsomewhere?"Eleanoraskedwonderingly.Mrs.Dudleyhadmadethemapeachshortcake,andshelookeddownatherplateandsaid,"IamsureMrs.Dudleygoessomewhereelseatnight,andshebringsbackheavycreameachmorning,andDudleycomesupwithgrocerieseveryafternoon,butasfarasIcanrememberthereisnootherplacethanthis."

"Weareonadesertisland,"Lukesaid.

"Ican'tpictureanyworldbutHillHouse,"Eleanorsaid.

"Perhaps,"Theodorasaid,"weshouldmakenotchesonastick,orpilepebblesinaheap,oneeachday,sowewillknowhowlongwehavebeenmarooned."

"Howpleasantnottohaveanywordfromoutside."Lukehelpedhimselftoanenormousheapofwhippedcream."Noletters,nonewspapers;anythingmightbehappening."

"Unfortunately-"thedoctorsaid,andthenstopped."Ibegyourpardon,"hewenton.Imeantonlytosaythatwordwillbereachingusfromoutside,andofcourseitisnotunfortunateatall.Mrs.Montague-mywife,thatis-willbehereonSaturday."

"ButwhenisSaturday?"Lukeasked."DelightedtoseeMrs.Montague,ofcourse."

"Dayaftertomorrow."Thedoctorthought."Yes,"hesaidafteraminute,"IbelievethatthedayaftertomorrowisSaturday.WewillknowitisSaturday,ofcourse,"hetoldthemwithalittletwinkle,"becauseMrs.Montaguewillbehere."

"Ihopesheisnotholdinghighhopesofthingsgoingbumpinthenight,"Theodorasaid."HillHousehasfallenfarshortofitsoriginalpromise,Ithink.OrperhapsMrs.Montaguewillbegreetedwithavolleyofpsychicexperiences."

"Mrs.Montague,"thedoctorsaid,"willbeperfectlyreadytoreceivethem."

"Iwonder,"TheodorasaidtoEleanorastheyleftthelunchtableunderMrs.Dudley'swatchfuleye,"whyeverythinghasbeensoquiet.Ithinkthiswaitingisnerve-racking,almostworsethanhavingsomethinghappen.

"It'snotusdoingthewaiting,"Eleanorsaid."It'sthehouse.Ithinkit'sbidingitstime."

"Waitinguntilwefeelsecure,maybe,andthenitwillpounce."

"Iwonderhowlongitcanwait."Eleanorshiveredandstartedupthegreatstaircase."Iamalmosttemptedtowritealettertomysister.Youknow-'HavingaperfectlysplendidtimehereinjollyoldHillHouse…'"

"'Youreallymustplantobringthewholefamilynextsummer,"'Theodorawenton."'Wesleepunderblanketseverynight…'"

"'Theairissobracing,particularlyintheupstairshall…"'

"'Yougoaroundallthetimejustgladtobealive…'"

"'There'ssomethinggoingoneveryminute…'"

"'Civilizationseemssofaraway…'"

Eleanorlaughed.ShewasaheadofTheodora,atthetopofthestairs.Thedarkhallwaywasalittlelightenedthisafternoon,becausetheyhadleftthenurserydooropenandthesunlightcamethroughthewindowsbythetowerandtouchedthedoctor'smeasuringtapeandchalkonthefloor.Thelightreflectedfromthestained-glasswindowonthestairlandingandmadeshatteredfragmentsofblueandorangeandgreenonthedarkwoodofthehall."I'mgoingtosleep,"shesaid."I'veneverbeensolazyinmylife."

"I'mgoingtolieonmybedanddreamaboutstreetcars,"Theodorasaid.

IthadbecomeEleanor'shabittohesitateinthedoorwayofherroom,glancingaroundquicklybeforeshewentinside;shetoldherselfthatthiswasbecausetheroomwassoexceedinglyblueandalwaystookamomenttogetusedto.Whenshecameinsideshewentacrosstoopenthewindow,whichshealwaysfoundclosed;todayshewashalfwayacrosstheroombeforesheheardTheodora'sdoorslamback,andTheodora'ssmothered"Eleanor!"Movingquickly,Eleanorran

intothehallandtoTheodora'sdoorway,tostop,aghast,lookingoverTheodora'sshoulder.

"Whatisit?"shewhispered.

"Whatdoesitlooklike?"Theodora'svoicerosecrazily."Whatdoesitlooklike,youfool?"

AndIwon'tforgiveherthat,either,Eleanorthoughtconcretelythroughherbewilderment."Itlookslikepaint,"shesaidhesitantly."Except"-realizing-"exceptthesmellisawful."

"It'sblood,"Theodorasaidwithfinality.Sheclungtothedoor,swayingasthedoormoved,staring."Blood,"shesaid."Allover.Doyouseeit?"

"OfcourseIseeit.Andit'snotallover.Stopmakingsuchafuss."Although,shethoughtconscientiously,Theodorawasmakingverylittleofafuss,actually.Oneofthesetimes,shethought,oneofusisgoingtoputherheadbackandreallyhowl,andIhopeitwon'tbeme,becauseI'mtryingtoguardagainstit;itwillbeTheodorawho…Andthen,cold,sheasked,"Isthatmorewritingonthewall?"-andheardTheodora'swildlaugh,andthought,Maybeitwillbeme,afterall,andIcan'taffordto.Imustbesteady,andsheclosedhereyesandfoundherselfsayingsilently,0stayandhear,yourtruelove'scoming,thatcansingbothhighandlow.Tripnofurther,prettysweeting;journeysendinloversmeeting…

"Yesindeed,dear,"Theodorasaid."Idon'tknowhowyoumanagedit."

Everywiseman'ssondothknow."Besensible,"Eleanorsaid.

"CallLuke.Andthedoctor."

"Why?"Theodoraasked."Wasn'tittobejustalittleprivatesurpriseforme?Asecretjustforthetwoofus?"Then,pullingawayfromEleanor,whotriedtoholdherfromgoingfartherintotheroom,sherantothegreatwardrobeandthrewopenthedoorand,cruelly,begantocry."Myclothes,"shesaid."Myclothes."

SteadilyEleanorturnedandwenttothetopofthestairs."Luke,"shecalled,leaningoverthebanisters."Doctor."Hervoicewasnotloud,andshehadtriedto

keepitlevel,butsheheardthedoctor'sbookdroptothefloorandthenthepoundingoffeetasheandLukeranforthestairs.Shewatchedthem,seeingtheirapprehensivefaces,wonderingattheuneasinesswhichlaysoclosebelowthesurfaceinallofthem,sothateachofthemseemedalwayswaitingforacryforhelpfromoneoftheothers;intelligenceandunderstandingarereallynoprotectionatall,shethought."It'sTheo,"shesaidastheycametothetopofthestairs."She'shysterical.Someone-something-hasgottenredpaintinherroom,andshe'scryingoverherclothes."NowIcouldnothaveputitmorefairlythanthat,shethought,turningtofollowthem.CouldIhaveputitmorefairlythanthat?sheaskedherself,andfoundthatshewassmiling.

Theodorawasstillsobbingwildlyinherroomandkickingatthewardrobedoor,inatantrumthatmighthavebeenlaughableifshehadnotbeenholdingheryellowshirt,mattedandstained;herotherclotheshadbeentornfromthehangersandlaytrampledanddisorderedonthewardrobefloor,allofthemsmearedandreddened."Whatisit?"Lukeaskedthedoctor,andthedoctor,shakinghishead,said,"Iwouldswearthatitwasblood,andyettogetsomuchbloodonewouldalmosthaveto…''andthenwasabruptlyquiet.

AllofthemstoodinsilenceforamomentandlookedatHELPELEANORCOMEHOMEELEANORwritteninshakyredlettersonthewallpaperoverTheodora'sbed.

ThistimeIamready,Eleanortoldherself,andsaid,"You'dbettergetheroutofhere;bringherintomyroom."

"Myclothesareruined,"Theodorasaidtothedoctor."Doyouseemyclothes?"

Thesmellwasatrocious,andthewritingonthewallhaddrippedandsplattered.Therewasalineofdropsfromthewalltothewardrobe-perhapswhathadfirstturnedTheodora'sattentionthatwayandagreatirregularstainonthegreenrug."It'sdisgusting,"Eleanorsaid."PleasegetTheointomyroom."

LukeandthedoctorbetweenthempersuadedTheodorathroughthebathroomandintoEleanor'sroom,andEleanor,lookingattheredpaint(Itmustbepaint,shetoldherself;it'ssimplygottobepaint;whatelsecoulditbe?),saidaloud,"Butwhy?"andstaredupatthewritingonthewall.Hereliesone,shethoughtgracefully,whosenamewaswritinblood;isitpossiblethatIamnotquite

coherentatthismoment?

"Issheallright?"sheasked,turningasthedoctorcamebackintotheroom.

"Shewillbeinafewminutes.We'llhavetomoveherinwithyouforawhile,Ishouldthink;Ican'timagineherwantingtosleepinhereagain."Thedoctorsmiledalittlewanly."Itwillbealongtime,Ithink,beforesheopensanotherdoorbyherself."

"Isupposeshe'llhavetowearmyclothes."

"Isupposeshewill,ifyoudon'tmind."Thedoctorlookedathercuriously."Thismessagetroublesyoulessthantheother?"

"It'stoosilly,"Eleanorsaid,tryingtounderstandherownfeelings."I'vebeenstandingherelookingatitandjustwonderingwhy.Imean,it'slikeajokethatdidn'tcomeoff;Iwassupposedtobemuchmorefrightenedthanthis,Ithink,andI'mnotbecauseit'ssimplytoohorribletobereal.AndIkeeprememberingTheoputtingredpolish…"Shegiggled,andthedoctorlookedathersharply,butshewenton,"Itmightaswellbepaint,don'tyousee?"Ican'tstoptalking,shethought;whatdoIhavetoexplaininallthis?"MaybeIcan'ttakeitseriously,"shesaid,"afterthesightofTheoscreamingoverherpoorclothesandaccusingmeofwritingmynamealloverherwall.MaybeI'mgettingusedtoherblamingmeforeverything."

"Nobody'sblamingyouforanything,"thedoctorsaid,andEleanorfeltthatshehadbeenreproved.

"Ihopemyclotheswillbegoodenoughforher,"shesaidtartly.Thedoctorturned,lookingaroundtheroom;hetouchedonefingergingerlytothelettersonthewallandmovedTheodora'syellowshirtwithhisfoot."Later,"hesaidabsently."Tomorrow,perhaps."HeglancedatEleanorandsmiled."Icanmakeanexactsketchofthis,"hesaid.

"Icanhelpyou,"Eleanorsaid."Itmakesmesick,butitdoesn'tfrightenme."

"Yes,"thedoctorsaid."Ithinkwe'dbettercloseuptheroomfornow,however;wedon'twantTheodorablunderinginhereagain.Thenlater,atmyleisure,Icanstudyit.Also,"hesaidwithaflashofamusement,"IwouldnotliketohaveMrs.Dudleycominginheretostraightenup."

Eleanorwatchedsilentlywhilehelockedthehalldoorfrominsidetheroom,andthentheywentthroughthebathroomandhelockedtheconnectingdoorintoTheodora'sgreenroom."I'llseeaboutmovinginanotherbed,"hesaid,andthen,withsomeawkwardness,"You'vekeptyourheadwell,Eleanor;it'sahelptome."

"Itoldyou,itmakesmesickbutitdoesn'tfrightenme,"shesaid,pleased,andturnedtoTheodora.TheodorawaslyingonEleanor'sbed,andEleanorsawwithaqueasyturnthatTheodorahadgottenredonherhandsanditwasrubbingoffontoEleanor'spillow."Look,"shesaidharshly,comingovertoTheodora,"you'llhavetowearmyclothesuntilyougetnewones,oruntilwegettheotherscleaned."

"Cleaned?"Theodorarolledconvulsivelyonthebedandpressedherstainedhandsagainsthereyes."Cleaned?"

"Forheaven'ssake,"Eleanorsaid,"letmewashyouoff."Shethought,withouttryingtofindareason,thatshehadneverfeltsuchuncontrollableloathingforanypersonbefore,andshewentintothebathroomandsoakedatowelandcamebacktoscrubroughlyatTheodora'shandsandface."You'refilthywiththestuff,"shesaid,hatingtotouchTheodora.

SuddenlyTheodorasmiledather."Idon'treallythinkyoudidit,"shesaid,andEleanorturnedtoseethatLukewasbehindher,lookingdownatthem."WhatafoolIam,"Theodorasaidtohim,andLukelaughed.

"YouwillbeadelightinNell'sredsweater,"hesaid.

Sheiswicked,Eleanorthought,beastlyandsoiledanddirty.Shetookthetowelintothebathroomandleftittosoakincoldwater;whenshecameoutLukewassaying,"…anotherbedinhere;yougirlsaregoingtosharearoomfromnowon."

"Sharearoomandshareourclothes,"Theodorasaid."We'regoingtobepracticallytwins."

"Cousins,"Eleanorsaid,butnooneheardher.

5-3"Itwasthecustom,rigidlyadheredto,"Lukesaid,turningthebrandyinhis

glass,"forthepublicexecutioner,beforeaquartering,tooutlinehisknifestrokesinchalkuponthebellyofhisvictim-forfearofaslip,youunderstand."

Iwouldliketohitherwithastick,Eleanorthought,lookingdownonTheodora'sheadbesideherchair;Iwouldliketobatterherwithrocks.

"Anexquisiterefinement,exquisite.Becauseofcoursethechalkstrokeswouldhavebeenalmostunbearable,excruciating,ifthevictimwereticklish."

Ihateher,Eleanorthought,shesickensme;sheisallwashedandcleanandwearingmyredsweater.

"Whenthedeathwasbyhanginginchains,however,theexecutioner…"

"Nell?"Theodoralookedupatherandsmiled."Ireallyamsorry,youknow,"shesaid.

Iwouldliketowatchherdying,Eleanorthought,andsmiledbackandsaid,"Don'tbesilly."

"AmongtheSufisthereisateachingthattheuniversehasneverbeencreatedandconsequentlycannotbedestroyed.Ihavespenttheafternoon,"Lukeannouncedgravely,"browsinginourlittlelibrary."

Thedoctorsighed."Nochesstonight,Ithink,"hesaidtoLuke,andLukenodded."Ithasbeenanexhaustingday,"thedoctorsaid,"andIthinkyouladiesshouldretireearly."

"NotuntilIamwelldulledwithbrandy,"Theodorasaidfirmly.

"Fear,"thedoctorsaid,"istherelinquishmentoflogic,thewillingrelinquishingofreasonablepatterns.Weyieldtoitorwefightit,butwecannotmeetithalfway."

"Iwaswonderingearlier,"Eleanorsaid,feelingshehadsomehowanapologytomaketoallofthem."IthoughtIwasaltogethercalm,andyetnowIknowIwasterriblyafraid."Shefrowned,puzzled,andtheywaitedforhertogoon.

"WhenIamafraid,Icanseeperfectlythesensible,beautifulnot-afraidsideoftheworld,Icanseechairsandtablesandwindowsstayingthesame,notaffectedintheleast,andIcanseethingslikethecarefulwoventextureofthecarpet,notevenmoving.ButwhenIamafraidInolongerexistinanyrelationtothesethings.Isupposebecausethingsarenotafraid."

"Ithinkweareonlyafraidofourselves,"thedoctorsaidslowly.

"No,"Lukesaid."Ofseeingourselvesclearlyandwithoutdisguise."

"Ofknowingwhatwereallywant,"Theodorasaid.ShepressedhercheekagainstEleanor'shandandEleanor,hatingthetouchofher,tookherhandawayquickly.

"Iamalwaysafraidofbeingalone,"Eleanorsaid,andwondered,AmItalkinglikethis?AmIsayingsomethingIwillregretbitterlytomorrow?AmImakingmoreguiltformyself?"Thoselettersspelledoutmyname,andnoneofyouknowwhatthatfeelslike-it'ssofamiliar."Andshegesturedtothem,almostinappeal."Trytosee,"shesaid."It'smyowndearname,anditbelongstome,andsomethingisusingitandwritingitandcallingmewithitandmyownname…"Shestoppedandsaid,lookingfromoneofthemtoanother,evendownontoTheodora'sfacelookingupather,"Look.There'sonlyoneofme,andit'sallI'vegot.IhateseeingmyselfdissolveandslipandseparatesothatI'mlivinginonehalf,mymind,andIseetheotherhalfofmehelplessandfranticanddrivenandIcan'tstopit,butIknowI'mnotreallygoingtobehurtandyettimeissolongandevenasecondgoesonandonandIcouldstandanyofitifIcouldonlysurrender-"

"Surrender?"saidthedoctorsharply,andEleanorstared.

"Surrender?"Lukerepeated.

"Idon'tknow,"Eleanorsaid,perplexed.Iwasjusttalkingalong,shetoldherself,Iwassayingsomething-whatwasIjustsaying?

"Shehasdonethisbefore,"Lukesaidtothedoctor.

"Iknow,"saidthedoctorgravely,andEleanorcouldfeelthemalllookingather."I'msorry,"shesaid."DidImakeafoolofmyself?It'sprobablybecauseI'mtired."

"Notatall,"thedoctorsaid,stillgrave."Drinkyourbrandy."

"Brandy?"AndEleanorlookeddown,realizingthatsheheldabrandyglass."WhatdidIsay?"sheaskedthem.

Theodorachuckled."Drink,"shesaid."Youneedit,myNell."ObedientlyEleanorsippedatherbrandy,feelingclearlyitssharpburn,andthensaidtothedoctor,"Imusthavesaidsomethingsilly,fromthewayyou'reallstaringatme."

Thedoctorlaughed."Stoptryingtobethecenterofattention."

"Vanity,"Lukesaidserenely.

"Havetobeinthelimelight,"Theodorasaid,andtheysmiledfondly,alllookingatEleanor.

5-4Sittingupinthetwobedsbesideeachother,EleanorandTheodorareached

outbetweenandheldhandstight;theroomwasbrutallycoldandthicklydark.Fromtheroomnextdoor,theroomwhichuntilthatmorninghadbeenTheodora's,camethesteadylowsoundofavoicebabbling,toolowforwordstobeunderstood,toosteadyfordisbelief.Holdinghandssohardthateachofthemcouldfeeltheother'sbones,EleanorandTheodoralistened,andthelow,steadysoundwentonandon,thevoiceliftingsometimesforanemphasisonamumbledword,fallingsometimestoabreath,goingonandon.Then,withoutwarning,therewasalittlelaugh,thesmallgurglinglaughthatbrokethroughthebabbling,androseasitlaughed,onupandupthescale,andthenbrokeoffsuddenlyinalittlepainfulgasp,andthevoicewenton.

Theodora'sgrasploosened,andtightened,andEleanor,lulledforaminutebythesounds,startedandlookedacrosstowhereTheodoraoughttobeinthedarkness,andthenthought,screamingly,Whyisitdark?Whyitdark?SherolledandclutchedTheodora'shandwithbothofhers,andtriedtospeakandcouldnot,andheldon,blindly,andfrozen,tryingtostandhermindonitsfeet,tryingtoreasonagain.Weleftthelighton,shetoldherself,sowhyisitdark?Theodora,shetriedtowhisper,andhermouthcouldnotmove;Theodora,shetriedtoask,whyisitdark?andthevoicewenton,babbling,lowandsteady,alittleliquidgloatingsound.Shethoughtshemightbeabletodistinguishwordsifshelayperfectlystill,ifshelayperfectlystill,andlistened,andlistenedandheardthevoicegoingonandon,neverceasing,andshehungdesperatelytoTheodora'shandandfeltanansweringweightonherownhand.

Thenthelittlegurglinglaughcameagain,andtherisingmadsoundofitdrownedoutthevoice,andthensuddenlyabsolutesilence.Eleanortookabreath,wonderingifshecouldspeaknow,andthensheheardalittlesoftcrywhichbrokeherheart,alittleinfinitelysadcry,alittlesweetmoanofwildsadness.Itisachild,shethoughtwithdisbelief,achildiscryingsomewhere,andthen,uponthatthought,camethewildshriekingvoiceshehadneverheardbeforeandyetknewshehadheardalwaysinhernightmares."Goaway!"itscreamed."Goaway,goaway,don'thurtme,"and,after,sobbing,"Pleasedon'thurtme.Pleaseletmegohome,"andthenthelittlesadcryingagain.

Ican'tstandit,Eleanorthoughtconcretely.Thisismonstrous,thisiscruel,theyhavebeenhurtingachildandIwon'tletanyonehurtachild,andthe

babblingwenton,lowandsteady,onandonandon,thevoicerisingalittleandfallingalittle,goingonandon.

Now,Eleanorthought,perceivingthatshewaslyingsidewaysonthebedintheblackdarkness,holdingwithbothhandstoTheodora'shand,holdingsotightshecouldfeelthefinebonesofTheodora'sfingers,now,Iwillnotendurethis.Theythinktoscareme.Well,theyhave.Iamscared,butmorethanthat,Iamaperson,Iamhuman,IamawalkingreasoninghumoroushumanbeingandIwilltakealotfromthislunaticfilthyhousebutIwillnotgoalongwithhurtingachild,no,Iwillnot;IwillbyGodgetmymouthtoopenrightnowandIwillyellIwillIwillyell"STOPIT,"sheshouted,andthelightswereonthewaytheyhadleftthemandTheodorawassittingupinbed,startledanddisheveled.

"What?"Theodorawassaying."What,Nell?What?"

"GodGod,"Eleanorsaid,flingingherselfoutofbedandacrosstheroomtostandshudderinginacorner,"GodGod-whosehandwasIholding?"

Chapter6Iamlearningthepathwaysoftheheart,Eleanorthoughtquiteseriously,and

thenwonderedwhatshecouldhavemeantbythinkinganysuchthing.Itwasafternoon,andshesatinthesunlightonthestepsofthesummerhousebesideLuke;thesearethesilentpathwaysoftheheart,shethought.Sheknewthatshewaspale,andstillshaken,withdarkcirclesunderhereyes,butthesunwaswarmandtheleavesmovedgentlyoverhead,andLukebesideherlaylazilyagainstthestep."Luke,"sheasked,goingslowlyforfearofridicule,"whydopeoplewanttotalktoeachother?Imean,whatarethethingspeoplealwayswanttofindoutaboutotherpeople?"

"Whatdoyouwanttoknowaboutme,forinstance?"Helaughed.Shethought,Butwhynotaskwhathewantstoknowaboutme;heissoextremelyvain-andlaughedinturnandsaid,"WhatcanIeverknowaboutyou,beyondwhatIsee?"Seewastheleastofthewordsshemighthavechosen,butthesafest.TellmesomethingthatonlyIwilleverknow,wasperhapswhatshewantedtoaskhim,or,Whatwillyougivemetorememberyouby?-or,even,Nothingoftheleastimportancehaseverbelongedtome;canyouhelp?Thenshewonderedifshehadbeenfoolish,orbold,amazedatherownthoughts,butheonlystareddownattheleafheheldinhishandsandfrownedalittle,asonewhodevoteshimselfcompletelytoanabsorbingproblem.

Heistryingtophraseeverythingtomakeasgoodanimpressionaspossible,shethought,andIwillknowhowheholdsmebywhatheanswers;howisheanxioustoappeartome?DoeshethinkthatIwillbecontentwithsmallmysticism,orwillheexerthimselftoseemunique?Ishegoingtobegallant?Thatwouldbehumiliating,becausethenhewouldshowthatheknowsthatgallantryenchantsme;willhebemysterious?Mad?AndhowamItoreceivethis,whichIperceivealreadywillbeaconfidence,evenifitisnottrue?GrantthatLuketakemeatmyworth,shethought,oratleastletmenotseethedifference.Lethimbewise,orletmebeblind;don'tletme,shehopedconcretely,don'tletmeknowtoosurelywhathethinksofme.

Thenhelookedatherbrieflyandsmiledwhatshewascomingtoknowashisself-deprecatorysmile;didTheodora,shewondered,andthethoughtwasunwelcome,didTheodoraknowhimaswellasthis?

"Ineverhadamother,"hesaid,andtheshockwasenormous.Isthatallhe

thinksofme,hisestimateofwhatIwanttohearofhim;willIenlargethisintoaconfidencemakingmeworthyofgreatconfidences?ShallIsigh?Murmur?Walkaway?"NooneeverlovedmebecauseIbelonged,"hesaid."Isupposeyoucanunderstandthat?"

No,shethought,youarenotgoingtocatchmesocheaply;Idonotunderstandwordsandwillnotacceptthemintradeformyfeelings;thismanisaparrot.IwilltellhimthatIcanneverunderstandsuchathing,thatmaudlinself-pitydoesnotmovedirectlyatmyheart;Iwillnotmakeafoolofmyselfbyencouraginghimtomockme."Iunderstand,yes,"shesaid.

"Ithoughtyoumight,"hesaid,andshewanted,quitehonestly,toslaphisface."Ithinkyoumustbeaveryfineperson,Nell,"hesaid,andthenspoileditbyadding,"warmhearted,andhonest.Afterwards,whenyougohome…"Hisvoicetrailedoff,andshethought,Eitherheisbeginningtotellmesomethingextremelyimportant,orheiskillingtimeuntilthisconversationcangracefullybeended.Hewouldnotspeakinthisfashionwithoutareason;hedoesnotwillinglygivehimselfaway.Doeshethinkthatahumangestureofaffectionmightseducemeintohurlingmyselfmadlyathim?IsheafraidthatIcannotbehavelikealady?Whatdoesheknowaboutme,abouthowIthinkandfeel;doeshefeelsorryforme?"Journeysendinloversmeeting,"shesaid.

"Yes,"hesaid."Ineverhadamother,asItoldyou.NowIfindthateveryoneelsehashadsomething-thatImissed."Hesmiledather."Iamentirelyselfish,"hesaidruefully,"andalwayshopingthatsomeonewilltellmetobehave,someonewillmakeherselfresponsibleformeandmakemebegrownup."

Heisaltogetherselfish,shethoughtinsomesurprise,theonlymanIhaveeversatandtalkedtoalone,andIamimpatient;heissimplynotveryinteresting."Whydon'tyougrowupbyyourself?"sheaskedhim,andwonderedhowmanypeople-howmanywomen-hadalreadyaskedhimthat.

"You'reclever."Andhowmanytimeshadheansweredthatway?

Thisconversationmustbelargelyinstinctive,shethoughtwithamusement,andsaidgently,"Youmustbeaverylonelyperson."AllIwantistobecherished,shethought,andhereIamtalkinggibberishwithaselfishman."Youmustbeverylonelyindeed."

Hetouchedherhand,andsmiledagain."Youweresolucky,"hetoldher."You

hadamother."

6-2"Ifounditinthelibrary,"Lukesaid."IswearIfounditinthelibrary."

"Incredible,"thedoctorsaid.

"Look,"Lukesaid.Hesetthegreatbookonthetableandturnedtothetitlepage."Hemadeithimself-look,thetitle'sbeenletteredinink:MEMORIES,forSOPHIAANNELESTERCRAIN;ALegacyforHerEducationandEnlightenmentDuringHerLifetimeFromHerAffectionateandDevotedFather,HUGHDESMONDLESTERCRAIN;Twenty-firstJune,1881."

Theypressedaroundthetable,TheodoraandEleanorandthedoctor,whileLukeliftedandturnedthefirstgreatpageofthebook."Yousee,"Lukesaid,"hislittlegirlistolearnhumility.Hehasclearlycutupanumberoffineoldbookstomakethisscrapbook,becauseIseemtorecognizeseveralofthepictures,andtheyareallgluedin.

"Thevanityofhumanaccomplishment,"thedoctorsaidsadly.

"ThinkofthebooksHughCramhackedaparttomakethis.NowhereisaGoyaetching;ahorriblethingforalittlegirltomeditateupon."

"Underneathhehaswritten,"Lukesaid,"underthisuglypicture:'Honorthyfatherandthymother,Daughter,authorsofthybeing,uponwhomaheavychargehasbeenlaid,thattheyleadtheirchildininnocenceandrighteousnessalongthefearfulnarrowpathtoeverlastingbliss,andrenderherupatlasttoherGodapiousandavirtuoussoul;reflect,Daughter,uponthejoyinHeavenasthesoulsofthesetinycreatureswingupward,releasedbeforetheyhavelearnedaughtofsinorfaithlessness,andmakeitthineunceasingdutytoremainaspureasthese."'

"Poorbaby,"Eleanorsaid,andgaspedasLuketurnedthepage;HughCram'ssecondmorallessonderivedfromacolorplateofasnakepit,andvividlypaintedsnakeswrithedandtwistedalongthepage,abovethemessage,neatlyprinted,andtouchedwithgold:"Eternaldamnationisthelotofmankind;neithertears,norreparation,canundoMan'sheritageofsin.Daughter,holdapartfromthisworld,thatitslustsandingratitudescorrupttheenot;Daughter,preservethyself."

"Nextcomeshell,"Lukesaid."Don'tlookifyou'resqueamish."

"IthinkIwillskiphell,"Eleanorsaid,"butreadittome."

"Wiseofyou,"thedoctorsaid."AnillustrationfromFoxe;oneofthelessattractivedeaths,Ihavealwaysthought,althoughwhocanfathomthewaysofmartyrs?"

"Seethis,though,"Lukesaid."He'sburntawayacornerofthepage,andhereiswhathesays:'Daughter,couldyoubuthearforamomenttheagony,thescreaming,thedreadfulcryingoutandrepentance,ofthosepoorsoulscondemnedtoeverlastingflame!Couldthineeyesbeseared,butforaninstant,withtheredglareofwastelandburningalways!Alas,wretchedbeings,inundyingpain!Daughter,yourfatherhasthisminutetouchedthecornerofhispagetohiscandle,andseenthefrailpapershrivelandcurlintheflame;consider,Daughter,thattheheatofthiscandleistotheeverlastingfiresofHellasagrainofsandtothereachingdesert,and,asthispaperburnsinitsslightflamesoshallyoursoulburnforever,infireathousand-foldmorekeen.'"

"I'llbethereadittohereverynightbeforeshewenttosleep,"Theodorasaid.

"Wait,"Lukesaid."Youhaven'tseenHeavenyet-evenyoucanlookatthisone,Nell.It'sBlake,andabitstern,Ithink,butobviouslybetterthanHell.Listen-'Holy,holy,holy!InthepurelightofheaventheangelspraiseHimandoneanotherunendingly.Daughter,itisherethatIwillseekthee.'"

"Whatalaborofloveitis,"thedoctorsaid."Hoursoftimejustplanningit,andtheletteringissodainty,andthegilt-"

"Nowthesevendeadlysins,"Lukesaid,"andIthinktheoldboydrewthemhimself."

"Hereallyputhisheartintogluttony,"Theodorasaid."I'mnotsureI'lleverbehungryagain."

"Waittilllust,"Luketoldher."Theoldfellowoutdidhimself."

"Idon'treallywanttolookatanymoreofit,Ithink,"Theodorasaid."I'llsitoverherewithNell,andifyoucomeacrossanyparticularlyedifyingmoralpreceptsyouthinkwoulddomegood,readthemaloud."

"Hereislust,"Lukesaid."Waseverwomaninthishumorwooed?"

"Goodheavens,"saidthedoctor."Goodheavens."

"Hemusthavedrawnithimself,"Lukesaid.

"Forachild?"Thedoctorwasoutraged.

"Herveryownscrapbook.NotePride,theveryimageofourNellhere."

"What?"saidEleanor,startingup.

"Teasing,"thedoctorsaidplacatingly."Don'tcomelook,mydear;he'steasingyou."

"Sloth,now,"Lukesaid.

"Envy,"saidthedoctor."Howthepoorchilddaredtransgress…"

"Thelastpageistheverynicest,Ithink.This,ladies,isHughCram'sblood.Nell,doyouwanttoseeHughCram'sblood?"

"No,thankyou."

"Theo?No?Inanycase,Iinsist,forthesakeofyourtwoconsciences,inreadingwhatHughCramhastosayinclosinghisbook:'Daughter:sacredpactsaresignedinblood,andIhaveheretakenfrommyownwristthevitalfluidwithwhichIbindyou.Livevirtuously,bemeek,havefaithinthyRedeemer,andinme,thyfather,andIsweartotheethatwewillbejoinedtogetherhereafterinunendingbliss.Acceptthesepreceptsfromthydevotedfather,whoinhumblenessofspirithasmadethisbook.Mayitserveitspurposewell,myfeebleeffort,andpreservemyChildfromthepitfallsofthisworldandbringhersafetoherfathersarmsinHeaven.'Andsigned:'Thyeverlovingfather,inthisworldandthenext,authorofthybeingandguardianofthyvirtue;inmeekestlove,HughCram."'

Theodorashuddered."Howhemusthaveenjoyedit,"shesaid,"signinghisnameinhisownblood;Icanseehimlaughinghisheadoff."

"Nothealthy,notatallahealthyworkforaman,"thedoctorsaid.

"Butshemusthavebeenverysmallwhenherfatherleftthehouse,"Eleanorsaid."Iwonderifheeverdidreadittoher."

"I'msurehedid,leaningoverhercradleandspittingoutthewordssotheywouldtakerootinherlittlemind.HughCram,"Theodorasaid,"youwereadirtyoldman,andyoumadeadirtyoldhouseandifyoucanstillhearmefromanywhereIwouldliketotellyoutoyourfacethatIgenuinelyhopeyouwillspendeternityinthatfoulhorriblepictureandneverstopburningforaminute."Shemadeawild,derisivegesturearoundtheroom,andforaminute,stillremembering,theywereallsilent,asthoughwaitingforananswer,andthenthecoalsinthefirefellwithalittlecrash,andthedoctorlookedathiswatchandLukerose.

"Thesunisovertheyardarm,"thedoctorsaidhappily.

6-3Theodoracurledbythefire,lookingupwickedlyatEleanor;attheotherend

oftheroomthechessmenmovedsoftly,jarringwithlittlesoundsagainstthetable,andTheodoraspokegently,tormentingly."Willyouhavehimatyourlittleapartment,Nell,andofferhimtodrinkfromyourcupofstars?"

Eleanorlookedintothefire,notanswering.Ihavebeensosilly,shethought,Ihavebeenafool.

"Isthereroomenoughfortwo?Wouldhecomeifyouaskedhim?"

Nothingcouldbeworsethanthis,Eleanorthought;Ihavebeenafool.

"Perhapshehasbeenlongingforatinyhome-somethingsmaller,ofcourse,thanHillHouse;perhapshewillcomehomewithyou."

Afool,aludicrousfool.

"Yourwhitecurtains-yourtinystonelions-"

Eleanorlookeddownather,almostgently."ButIhadtocome,"shesaid,andstoodup,turningblindlytogetaway.Nothearingthestartledvoicesbehindher,notseeingwhereorhowshewent,sheblunderedsomehowtothegreatfrontdoorandoutintothesoftwarmnight."Ihadtocome,"shesaidtotheworldoutside.

Fearandguiltaresisters;Theodoracaughtheronthelawn.Silent,angry,hurt,theyleftHillHousesidebyside,walkingtogether,eachsorryfortheother.Apersonangry;orlaughing,orterrified,orjealous,willgostubbornlyonintoextremesofbehaviorimpossibleatanothertime;neitherEleanornorTheodorareflectedforaminutethatitwasimprudentforthemtowalkfarfromHillHouseafterdark.Eachwassobentuponherowndespairthatescapeintodarknesswasvital,and,containingthemselvesinthattight,vulnerable,impossiblecloakwhichisfury,theystampedalongtogether,eachachinglyawareoftheother,eachdeterminedtobethelasttospeak.

Eleanorspokefirst,finally;shehadhurtherfootagainstarockandtriedtobetooproudtonoticeit,butafteraminutesherfootpaining,shesaid,inavoicetightwiththeattempttosoundlevel,"Ican'timaginewhyyouthinkyouhave

anyrighttointerfereinmyaffairs,"herlanguageformaltopreventafloodofrecrimination,orundeservedreproach(weretheynotstrangers?cousins?)."IamsurethatnothingIdoisofanyinteresttoyou."

"That'sright,"Theodorasaidgrimly."Nothingthatyoudoisofanyinteresttome."

Wearewalkingoneithersideofafence,Eleanorthought,butIhavearighttolivetoo,andIwastedanhourwithLukeatthesummerhousetryingtoproveit."Ihurtmyfoot,"shesaid.

"I'msorry."Theodorasoundedgenuinelygrieved."Youknowwhatabeastheis."Shehesitated."Arake,shesaidfinally,withatouchofamusement.

"I'msureit'snothingtomewhatheis."Andthen,becausetheywerewomenquarreling,"Asifyoucared,anyway."

"Heshouldn'tbeallowedtogetawaywithit,"Theodorasaid.

"Getawaywithwhat?"Eleanoraskeddaintily.

"You'remakingafoolofyourself,"Theodorasaid.

"SupposeI'mnot,though?You'dmindterriblyifyouturnedouttobewrongthistime,wouldn'tyou?"

Theodora'svoicewaswearied,cynical."IfI'mwrong,"shesaid,"Iwillblessyouwithallmyheart.Foolthatyouare."

"Youcouldhardlysayanythingelse."

Theyweremovingalongthepathtowardthebrook.Inthedarknesstheirfeetfeltthattheyweregoingdownhill,andeachprivatelyandperverselyaccusedtheotheroftaking,deliberately,apaththeyhadfollowedtogetheroncebeforeinhappiness.

"Anyway,"Eleanorsaid,inareasonabletone,"itdoesn'tmeananythingtoyou,nomatterwhathappens.WhyshouldyoucarewhetherImakeafoolofmyself?"

Theodorawassilentforaminute,walkinginthedarkness,andEleanorwassuddenlyabsurdlysurethatTheodorahadputoutahandtoher,unseen."Theo,"Eleanorsaidawkwardly,"I'mnogoodattalkingtopeopleandsayingthings."

Theodoralaughed."Whatareyougoodat?"shedemanded."Runningaway?"

Nothingirrevocablehadyetbeenspoken,buttherewasonlythebarestmarginofsafetyleftthem;eachofthemmovingdelicatelyalongtheoutskirtsofanopenquestion,and,oncespoken,suchaquestion-as"Doyouloveme?"-couldneverbeansweredorforgotten.Theywalkedslowly,meditating,wondering,andthepathslopeddownfromtheirfeetandtheyfollowed,walkingsidebysideinthemostextremeintimacyofexpectation;theirfeintingandhesitationdonewith,theycouldonlyawaitpassivelyforresolution.Eachknew,almostwithinabreath,whattheotherwasthinkingandwantingtosay;eachofthemalmostweptfortheother.Theyperceivedatthesamemomentthechangeinthepathandeachknewthentheother'sknowledgeofit;TheodoratookEleanor'sarmand,afraidtostop,theymovedonslowly,closetogether,andaheadofthemthepathwidenedandblackenedandcurved.

Eleanorcaughtherbreath,andTheodora'shandtightened,warninghertobequiet.Oneithersideofthemthetrees,silent,relinquishedthedarkcolortheyhadheld,paled,grewtransparentandstoodwhiteandghastlyagainsttheblacksky.Thegrasswascolorless,thepathwideandblack;therewasnothingelse.Eleanor'steethwerechattering,andthenauseaoffearalmostdoubledher;herarmshiveredunderTheodora'sholdinghand,nowalmostaclutch,andshefelteveryslowstepasawilledact,aprecisemadinsistenceupontheputtingofonefootdownaftertheotherastheonlysanechoice.Hereyeshurtwithtearsagainstthescreamingblacknessofthepathandtheshudderingwhitenessofthetrees,andshethought,withaclearintelligentpictureofthewordsinhermind,burning,NowIamreallyafraid.

Theymovedon,thepathunrollingaheadofthem,thewhitetreesunchangingoneithersideand,aboveall,theblackskylyingthickoverhead;theirfeetwereshimmeringwhitewheretheytouchedthepath;Theodora'shandwaspaleandluminous.Aheadofthemthepathcurvedoutofsight,andtheywalkedslowlyon,movingtheirfeetpreciselybecauseitwastheonlyphysicalactpossibletothem,theonlythinglefttokeepthemfromsinkingintotheawfulblacknessandwhitenessandluminousevilglow.NowIamreallyafraid,Eleanorthoughtinwordsoffire;remotelyshecouldstillfeelTheodora'shandonherarm,but

Theodorawasdistant,lockedaway;itwasbitterlycold,withnohumanwarmthnear.NowIamreallyafraid,Eleanorthought,andputherfeetforwardoneafteranother,shiveringastheytouchedthepath,shiveringwithmindlesscold.

Thepathunwound;perhapsitwastakingthemsomewhere,willfully,sinceneitherofthemcouldstepoffitandgoknowinglyintotheannihilationofwhitenessthatwasthegrassoneitherside.Thepathcurved,blackandshining,andtheyfollowed.Theodora'shandtightened,andEleanorcaughtherbreathonalittlesob-hadsomethingmoved,ahead,somethingwhiterthanthewhitetrees,beckoning?Beckoning,fadingintothetrees,watching?Wastheremovementbesidethem,imperceptibleinthesoundlessnight;didsomefootstepgoinvisiblyalongwiththeminthewhitegrass?Wherewerethey?

Thepathledthemtoitsdestinedendanddiedbeneaththeirfeet.EleanorandTheodoralookedintoagarden,theireyesblindedwiththelightofsunandrichcolor;incredibly,therewasapicnicpartyonthegrassinthegarden.Theycouldhearthelaughterofthechildrenandtheaffectionate,amusedvoicesofthemotherandfather;thegrasswasrichly,thicklygreen,theflowerswerecoloredredandorangeandyellow,theskywasblueandgold,andonechildworeascarletjumperandraiseditsvoiceagaininlaughter,tumblingafterapuppyoverthegrass.Therewasacheckedtableclothspreadout,and,smiling,themotherleanedovertotakeupaplateofbrightfruit;thenTheodorascreamed.

"Don'tlookback,"shecriedoutinavoicehighwithfear,"don'tlookback-don'tlook-run!"

Running,withoutknowingwhysheran,Eleanorthoughtthatshewouldcatchherfootinthecheckedtablecloth;shewasafraidshemightstumbleoverthepuppy;butastheyranacrossthegardentherewasnothingexceptweedsgrowingblacklyinthedarkness,andTheodora,screamingstill,trampledoverthebusheswheretherehadbeenflowersandstumbled,sobbing,overhalfburiedstonesandwhatmighthavebeenabrokencup.Thentheywerebeatingandscratchingwildlyatthewhitestonewallwherevinesgrewblackly,screamingstillandbeggingtobeletout,untilarustedirongategavewayandtheyran,cryingandgaspingandsomehowholdinghands,acrossthekitchengardenofHillHouse,andcrashedthroughabackdoorintothekitchentoseeLukeandthedoctorhurryingtothem."Whathappened?"Lukesaid,catchingatTheodora."Areyouallright?"

"We'vebeennearlycrazy,"thedoctorsaid,worn."We'vebeenoutlookingforyouforhours."

"Itwasapicnic,"Eleanorsaid.Shehadfallenintoakitchenchairandshelookeddownatherhands,scratchedandbleedingandshakingwithoutherknowledge."Wetriedtogetout,"shetoldthem,holdingherhandsoutforthemtosee."Itwasapicnic.Thechildren..

Theodoralaughedinalittlecontinuingcry,laughingonandonthinly,andsaidthroughherlaughter,"Ilookedback-Iwentandlookedbehindus…"andlaughedon.

"Thechildren…andapuppy…"

"Eleanor."TheodoraturnedwildlyandputherheadagainstEleanor."Eleanor,"shesaid."Eleanor."

And,holdingTheodora,EleanorlookedupatLukeandthedoctor,andfelttheroomrockmadly,andtime,asshehadalwaysknowntime,stop.

Chapter7OntheafternoonofthedaythatMrs.Montaguewasexpected,Eleanorwent

aloneintothehillsaboveHillHouse,notreallyintendingtoarriveatanyplaceinparticular,notevencaringwhereorhowshewent,wantingonlytobesecretandoutfromundertheheavydarkwoodofthehouse.Shefoundasmallspotwherethegrasswassoftanddryandlaydown,wonderinghowmanyyearsithadbeensinceshehadlainonsoftgrasstobealonetothink.Aroundherthetreesandwildflowers,withthatoddlycourteousairofnaturalthingssuddenlyinterruptedintheirpressingoccupationsofgrowinganddying,turnedtowardherwithattention,asthough,dullandimperceptiveasshewas,itwasstillnecessaryforthemtobegentletoacreationsounfortunateasnottoberootedintheground,forcedtogofromoneplacetoanother,heartbreakinglymobile.IdlyEleanorpickedawilddaisy,whichdiedinherfingers,and,lyingonthegrass,lookedupintoitsdeadface.Therewasnothinginhermindbeyondanoverwhelmingwildhappiness.Shepulledatthedaisy,andwondered,smilingatherself,WhatamIgoingtodo?WhatamIgoingtodo?

7-2"Putthebagsdowninthehall,Arthur,"Mrs.Montaguesaid.

"Wouldn'tyouthinkthere'dbesomeoneheretohelpuswiththisdoor?They'llhavetogetsomeonetotakethebagsupstairs.John?John?"

"Mydear,mydear."Dr.Montaguehurriedintothehallway,carryinghisnapkin,andkissedhiswifeobedientlyonthecheeksheheldoutforhim."Hownicethatyougothere;we'dgivenyouup."

"IsaidI'dbeheretoday,didn'tI?DidyoueverknowmenottocomewhenIsaidIwould?IbroughtArthur."

"Arthur,"thedoctorsaidwithoutenthusiasm.

"Well,somebodyhadtodrive,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."IimagineyouexpectedthatIwoulddrivemyselfallthewayouthere?BecauseyouknowperfectlywellthatIgettired.Howdoyoudo."

Thedoctorturned,smilingonEleanorandTheodora,withLukebehindthem,clustereduncertainlyinthedoorway."Mydear,"hesaid,"thesearemyfriendswhohavebeenstayinginHillHousewithmethesepastfewdays.Theodora.EleanorVance.LukeSanderson."

TheodoraandEleanorandLukemurmuredcivilly,andMrs.Montaguenoddedandsaid,"Iseeyoudidn'tbothertowaitdinnerforus."

"We'dgivenyouup,"thedoctorsaid.

"IbelievethatItoldyouthatIwouldbeheretoday.Ofcourse,itisperfectlypossiblethatIammistaken,butitismyrecollectionthatIsaidIwouldbeheretoday.I'msureIwillgettoknowallyournamesverysoon.ThisgentlemanisArthurParker;hedrovemeherebecauseIdislikedrivingmyself.Arthur,theseareJohn'sfriends.Cananybodydosomethingaboutoursuitcases?"

ThedoctorandLukeapproached,murmuring,andMrs.Montaguewenton,"Iamtobeinyourmosthauntedroom,ofcourse.Arthurcangoanywhere.Thatbluesuitcaseismine,youngman,andthesmallattachécase;theywillgoinyourmosthauntedroom.

"Thenursery,Ithink,"Dr.MontaguesaidwhenLukelookedathiminquiringly."Ibelievethenurseryisonesourceofdisturbance,"hetoldhiswife,andshesighedirritably.

"Itdoesseemtomethatyoucouldbemoremethodical,"shesaid."You'vebeenherenearlyaweekandIsupposeyou'vedonenothingwithplanchette?Automaticwriting?Idon'timagineeitheroftheseyoungwomenhasmediumisticgifts?ThoseareArthur'sbagsrightthere.Hebroughthisgolfclubs,justincase."

"Justincaseofwhat?"Theodoraaskedblankly,andMrs.Montagueturnedtoregardhercoldly.

"Pleasedon'tletmeinterruptyourdinner,"shesaidfinally.

"There'sadefinitecoldspotjustoutsidethenurserydoor,"thedoctortoldhiswifehopefully.

"Yes,dear,verynice.Isn'tthatyoungmangoingtotakeArthur'sbagsupstairs?Youdoseemtobeinagooddealofconfusionhere,don'tyou?AfternearlyaweekIcertainlythoughtyou'dhavethingsinsomekindoforder.Anyfiguresmaterialize?"

"Therehavebeendecidedmanifestations-"

"Well,I'mherenow,andwe'llgetthingsgoingright.WhereisArthurtoputthecar?"

"There'sanemptystableinbackofthehousewherewehaveputourothercars.Hecantakeitaroundinthemorning."

"Nonsense.Idonotbelieveinputtingthingsoff,John,asyouknowperfectlywell.Arthurwillhaveplentytodointhemorningwithoutaddingtonight'swork.Hemustmovethecaratonce."

"It'sdarkoutside,"thedoctorsaidhesitantly.

"John,youastoundme.IsityourbeliefthatIdonotknowwhetheritisdarkoutsideatnight?Thecarhaslights,John,andthatyoungmancangowithArthurtoshowhimtheway."

"Thankyou,"saidLukegrimly,"butwehaveapositivepolicyagainstgoingoutsideafterdark.Arthurmay,ofcourse,ifhecaresto,butIwillnot."

"Theyoungladies,"thedoctorsaid,"hadashocking-"

"Youngman'sacoward,"Arthursaid.HehadconcludedhisfetchingofsuitcasesandgolfbagsandhampersfromthecarandnowstoodbesideMrs.Montague,lookingdownonLuke;Arthur'sfacewasredandhishairwaswhite,andnow,scorningLuke,hebristled."Oughttobeashamedofyourself,fellow,infrontofthewomen.

"ThewomenarejustasmuchafraidasIam,"Lukesaidprimly.

"Indeed,indeed."Dr.MontagueputhishandonArthur'sarmsoothingly."Afteryou'vebeenhereforawhile,Arthur,you'llunderstandthatLuke'sattitudeissensible,notcowardly.Wemakeapointofstayingtogetherafterdark."

"Imustsay,John,Ineverexpectedtofindyouallsonervous,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."Ideplorefearinthesematters."Shetappedherfootirritably."Youknowperfectlywell,John,thatthosewhohavepassedbeyondexpecttoseeushappyandsmiling;theywanttoknowthatwearethinkingofthemlovingly.Thespiritsdwellinginthishousemaybeactuallysufferingbecausetheyareawarethatyouareafraidofthem."

"Wecantalkaboutitlater,"thedoctorsaidwearily."Now,howaboutdinner?"

"Ofcourse."Mrs.MontagueglancedatTheodoraandEleanor.

"Whatapitythatwehadtointerruptyou,"shesaid.

"Haveyouhaddinner?"

"Naturallywehavenothaddinner,John.Isaidwewouldbeherefordinner,didn'tI?OramImistakenagain?"

"Atanyrate,ItoldMrs.Dudleythatyouwouldbehere,"thedoctorsaid,openingthedoorwhichledtothegameroomandonintothediningroom."Sheleftusasplendidfeast."

PoorDr.Montague,Eleanorthought,standingasidetoletthedoctortakehis

wifeintothediningroom;heissouncomfortable;Iwonderhowlongsheisgoingtostay.

"Iwonderhowlongsheisgoingtostay?"Theodorawhisperedinherear.

"Maybehersuitcaseisfilledwithectoplasm,"Eleanorsaidhopefully.

"Andhowlongwillyoubeabletostay?"Dr.Montagueasked,sittingattheheadofthedinnertablewithhiswifecozilybesidehim.

"Well,dear,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,tastingdaintilyofMrs.Dudley'scapersauce"-youhavefoundafaircook,haveyounot?-youknowthatArthurhastogetbacktohisschool;Arthurisaheadmaster,"sheexplaineddownthetable,"andhehasgenerouslycanceledhisappointmentsforMonday.SowehadbetterleaveMondayafternoonandthenArthurcanbethereforclassesonTuesday."

"AlotofhappyschoolboysArthurnodoubtleftbehind,"LukesaidsoftlytoTheodora,andTheodorasaid,"ButtodayisonlySaturday."

"Idonotmindthiscookingatall,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."John,Iwillspeaktoyourcookinthemorning."

"Mrs.Dudleyisanadmirablewoman,"thedoctorsaidcarefully.

"Bitfancyformytaste,"Arthursaid."I'mameat-and-potatoesman,myself,"heexplainedtoTheodora."Don'tdrink,don'tsmoke,don'treadtrash.Badexampleforthefellowsattheschool.Theylookuptooneabit,youknow."

"I'msuretheymustallmodelthemselvesonyou,"Theodorasaidsoberly.

"Getabadhatnowandthen,"Arthursaid,shakinghishead.

"Notasteforsports,youknow.Mopingincorners.Crybabies.Knockthatoutofthemfastenough."Hereachedforthebutter.

Mrs.MontagueleanedforwardtolookdownthetableatArthur."Eatlightly,Arthur,"sheadvised."Wehaveabusynightaheadofus."

"Whatonearthdoyouplantodo?"thedoctorasked.

"I'msurethatyouwouldneverdreamofgoingaboutthesethingswithanysystem,butyouwillhavetoadmit,John,thatinthisareaIhavesimplymoreofaninstinctiveunderstanding;womendo,youknow,John,atleastsomewomen."ShepausedandregardedEleanorandTheodoraspeculatively."Neitherofthem,Idaresay.Unless,ofcourse,Iammistakenagain?Youareveryfondofpointingoutmyerrors,John."

"Mydear-"

"Icannotabideaslipshodjobinanything.Arthurwillpatrol,ofcourse.IbroughtArthurforthatpurpose.Itissorare,"sheexplainedtoLuke,whosatonherotherside,"tofindpersonsintheeducationalfieldwhoareinterestedintheotherworld;youwillfindArthursurprisinglywellinformed.Iwillreclineinyourhauntedroomwithonlyanightlightburning,andwillendeavortogetintouchwiththeelementsdisturbingthishouse.Ineversleepwhentherearetroubledspiritsabout,"shetoldLuke,whonodded,speechless.

"Littlesoundcommonsense,"Arthursaid."Gottogoaboutthesethingsintherightway.Neverpaystoaimtoolow.Tellmyfellowsthat."

"Ithinkperhapsafterdinnerwewillhavealittlesessionwithplanchette,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."JustArthurandI,ofcourse;therestofyou,Icansee,arenotreadyyet;youwouldonlydriveawaythespirits.Wewillneedaquietroom-"

"Thelibrary,"Lukesuggestedpolitely.

"Thelibrary?Ithinkitmightdo;booksarefrequentlyverygoodcarriers,youknow.Materializationsareoftenbestproducedinroomswheretherearebooks.Icannotthinkofanytimewhenmaterializationwasinanywayhamperedbythepresenceofbooks.Isupposethelibraryhasbeendusted?Arthursometimessneezes."

"Mrs.Dudleykeepstheentirehouseinperfectorder,"thedoctorsaid.

"IreallywillspeaktoMrs.Dudleyinthemorning.Youwillshowusthelibrary,then,John,andthatyoungmanwillbringdownmycase;notthelargesuitcase,mind,butthesmallattachécase.Bringittomeinthelibrary.Wewilljoinyoulater;afterasessionwithplanchetteIrequireaglassofmilkandperhapsasmallcake;crackerswilldoiftheyarenottooheavilysalted.Afew

minutesofquietconversationwithcongenialpeopleisalsoveryhelpful,particularlyifIamtobereceptiveduringthenight;themindisapreciseinstrumentandcannotbetendedtoocarefully.Arthur?"SheboweddistantlytoEleanorandTheodoraandwentout,escortedbyArthur,Luke,andherhusband.

AfteraminuteTheodorasaid,"IthinkIamgoingtobesimplycrazyaboutMrs.Montague."

"Idon'tknow,"Eleanorsaid."Arthurisrathermoretomytaste.AndLukeisacoward,Ithink."

"PoorLuke,"Theodorasaid."Heneverhadamother."Lookingup,EleanorfoundthatTheodorawasregardingherwithacurioussmile,andshemovedawayfromthetablesoquicklythataglassspilled.

"Weshouldn'tbealone,"shesaid,oddlybreathless."We'vegottofindtheothers."Sheleftthetableandalmostranfromtheroom,andTheodoraranafterher,laughing,downthecorridorandintothelittleparlor,whereLukeandthedoctorstoodbeforethefire.

"Please,sir,"Lukewassayingmeekly,"whoisplanchette?"

Thedoctorsighedirritably."Imbeciles,"hesaid,andthen,

"Sorry.Thewholeideaannoysme,butifshelikesit…Heturnedandpokedthefirefuriously."Planchette,"hewentonafteramoment,"isadevicesimilartotheOuijaBoard,orperhapsImightexplainbetterbysayingthatitisaformofautomaticwriting;amethodofcommunicatingwith-ah-intangiblebeings,althoughtomywayofthinkingtheonlyintangiblebeingswhoevergetintouchthroughoneofthosethingsaretheimaginationsofthepeoplerunningit.Yes.Well.Planchetteisalittlepieceoflightwood,usuallyheart-shapedortriangular.Apencilissetintothenarrowend,andattheotherendisapairofwheels,orfeetwhichwillslipeasilyoverpaper.Twopeopleplacefingersonit,askitquestions,andtheobjectmoves,pushedbywhatforcewewillnotherediscuss,andwritesanswers.TheOuijaBoard,asIsay,isverysimilar,exceptthattheobjectmovesonaboardpointingtoseparateletters.Anordinarywineglasswilldothesamething;Ihaveseenittriedwithachild'swheeledtoy,althoughIwilladmitthatitlookedsilly.Eachpersonusesthetipsofthefingersofonehand,keepingtheotherhandfreetonotedownquestionsandanswers.Theanswersareinvariably,Ibelieve,meaningless,althoughofcoursemywifewilltellyou

different.Balderdash."Andhewentatthefireagain."School-girls,"hesaid."Superstition."

7-3"Planchettehasbeenverykindtonight,"Mrs.Montaguesaid.

"John,therearedefinitelyforeignelementspresentinthishouse."

"Quiteasplendidsitting,really,"Arthursaid.Hewavedasheafofpapertriumphantly.

"We'vegottenagooddealofinformationforyou,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."Now.Planchettewasquiteinsistentaboutanun.Haveyoulearnedanythingaboutanun,John?"

"InHillHouse?Notlikely."

"Planchettefeltverystronglyaboutanun,John.Perhapssomethingofthesort-adark,vaguefigure,even-hasbeenseenintheneighborhood?Villagersterrifiedwhenstaggeringhomelateatnight?"

"Thefigureofanunisafairlycommon-"

"John,ifyouplease.IassumeyouaresuggestingthatIammistaken.Orperhapsitisyourintentiontopointoutthatplanchettemaybemistaken?Iassureyou-andyoumustbelieveplanchette,evenifmywordisnotgoodenoughforyou-thatanunwasmostspecificallysuggested."

"Iamonlytryingtosay,mydear,thatthewraithofanunisfarandawaythemostcommonformofappearance.TherehasneverbeensuchathingconnectedwithHillHouse,butinalmostevery-"

"John,ifyouplease.IassumeImaycontinue?Orisplanchettetobedismissedwithoutahearing?Thankyou."Mrs.Montaguecomposedherself."Now,then.Thereisalsoaname,spelledvariouslyasHelen,orHelene,orElena.Whomightthatbe?"

"Mydear,manypeoplehavelived-"

"Helenbroughtusawarningagainstamysteriousmonk.Nowwhenamonkandanunbothturnupinonehouse-"

"Expecttheplacewasbuiltonanoldersite,"Arthursaid.

"Influencesprevailing,youknow.Olderinfluenceshangingaround,"heexplainedmorefully.

"Itsoundsverymuchlikebrokenvows,doesitnot?Verymuch."

"Hadalotofthatbackthen,youknow.Temptation,probably."

"Ihardlythink-"thedoctorbegan.

"Idaresayshewaswalledupalive,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."Thenun,Imean.Theyalwaysdidthat,youknow.You'venoideathemessagesI'vegottenfromnunswalledupalive."

"Thereisnocaseonrecordofanynuneverbeing-

"John.MayIpointouttoyouoncemorethatImyselfhavehadmessagesfromnunswalledupalive?DoyouthinkIamtellingyouafib,John?Ordoyousupposethatanunwoulddeliberatelypretendtohavebeenwalledupalivewhenshewasnot?IsitpossiblethatIammistakenoncemore,John?"

"Certainlynot,mydear."Dr.Montaguesighedwearily.

"Withonecandleandacrustofbread,"ArthurtoldTheodora.

"Horriblethingtodo,whenyouthinkaboutit."

"Nonunwaseverwalledupalive,"thedoctorsaidsullenly.Heraisedhisvoiceslightly."Itisalegend.Astory.Alibelcirculated-"

"Allright,John.Wewon'tquarreloverit.Youmaybelievewhateveryouchoose.Justunderstand,however,thatsometimespurelymaterialisticviewsmustgivewaybeforefacts.Nowitisaprovenfactthatamongthevisitationstroublingthishouseareanunanda-"

"Whatelsewasthere?"Lukeaskedhastily."Iamsointerestedinhearingwhat-ah-planchettehadtosay."

Mrs.Montaguewaggledafingerroguishly."Nothingaboutyou,youngman.

Althoughoneoftheladiespresentmayhearsomethingofinterest."

Impossiblewoman,Eleanorthought;impossible,vulgar,possessivewoman."Now,Helen,"Mrs.Montaguewenton,"wantsustosearchthecellarforanoldwell."

"Don'ttellmeHelenwasburiedalive,"thedoctorsaid.

"Ihardlythinkso,John.Iamsurethatshewouldhavementionedit.Asamatteroffact,Helenwasmostunclearaboutjustwhatweweretofindinthewell.Idoubt,however,thatitwillbetreasure.Onesorarelymeetswithrealtreasureinacaseofthiskind.Morelikelyevidenceofthemissingnun."

"Morelikelyeightyyearsofrubbish."

"John,Icannotunderstandthisskepticisminyou,ofallpeople.Afterall,youdidcometothishousetocollectevidenceofsupernaturalactivity,andnow,whenIbringyouafullaccountofthecauses,andanindicationofwheretostartlooking,youarepositivelyscornful."

"Wehavenoauthoritytodigupthecellar."

"Arthurcould-"Mrs.Montaguebeganhopefully,butthedoctorsaidwithfirmness,"No.Myleaseofthehousespecificallyforbidsmetotamperwiththehouseitself.Therewillbenodiggingofcellars,notearingoutofwoodwork,norippingupoffloors.HillHouseisstillavaluableproperty,andwearestudents,notvandals."

"Ishouldthinkyou'dwanttoknowthetruth,John."

"ThereisnothingIshouldliketoknowmore."Dr.Montaguestampedacrosstheroomtothechessboardandtookupaknightandregardeditfuriously.Helookedasthoughheweredoggedlycountingtoahundred.

"Dearme,howpatientonemustbesometimes."Mrs.Montaguesighed."ButIdowanttoreadyouthelittlepassagewereceivedtowardtheend.Arthur,doyouhaveit?"

Arthurshuffledthroughhissheafofpapers."Itwasjustafterthemessageabouttheflowersyouaretosendtoyouraunt,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."Planchette

hasacontrolnamedMerrigot,"sheexplained,"andMerrigottakesagenuinepersonalinterestinArthur;bringshimwordfromrelatives,andsoon."

"Notafatalillness,youunderstand,"Arthursaidgravely.

"Havetosendflowers,ofcourse,butMerrigotismostreassuring."

"Now."Mrs.Montagueselectedseveralpages,andturnedthemoverquickly;theywerecoveredwithloose,sprawlingpenciledwords,andMrs.Montaguefrowned,runningdownthepageswithherfinger."Here,"shesaid."Arthur,youreadthequestionsandI'llreadtheanswers;thatway,itwillsoundmorenatural."

"Offwego,"Arthursaidbrightly,andleanedoverMrs.Montague'sshoulder."Now-letmesee-startrightabouthere?"

"With'Whoareyou?'"

"Righto.Whoareyou?"

"Nell,"Mrs.Montaguereadinhersharpvoice,andEleanorandTheodoraandLukeandthedoctorturned,listening.

"Nellwho?"

"EleanorNellieNellNell.Theysometimesdothat,"Mrs.Montaguebrokeofftoexplain."Theyrepeatawordoverandovertomakesureitcomesacrossallright."

Arthurclearedhisthroat."Whatdoyouwant?"heread.

"Home."

"Doyouwanttogohome?"AndTheodorashruggedcomicallyatEleanor.

"Wanttobehome."

"Whatareyoudoinghere?"

"Waiting."

"Waitingforwhat?"

"Home."Arthurstopped,andnoddedprofoundly."Thereitisagain,"hesaid."Likeaword,anduseitoverandover,justforthesoundofit."

"Ordinarilyweneveraskwhy,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,"becauseittendstoconfuseplanchette.However,thistimewewerebold,andcamerightoutandasked.Arthur?"

"Why?"Arthurread.

"Mother,"Mrs.Montagueread."Soyousee,thistimewewererighttoask,becauseplanchettewasperfectlyfreewiththeanswer."

"IsHillHouseyourhome?"Arthurreadlevelly.

"Home,"Mrs.Montagueresponded,andthedoctorsighed.

"Areyousuffering?"Arthurread.

"Noanswerhere."Mrs.Montaguenoddedreassuringly.

"Sometimestheydislikeadmittingtopain;ittendstodiscouragethoseofusleftbehind,youknow.JustlikeArthur'saunt,forinstance,willneverletonthatsheissick,butMerrigotalwaysletsusknow,andit'sevenworsewhenthey'vepassedover."

"Stoical,"Arthurconfirmed,andread,"Canwehelpyou?"

"No,"Mrs.Montagueread.

"Canwedoanythingatallforyou?"

"No.Lost.Lost.Lost."Mrs.Montaguelookedup."Yousee?"sheasked."Oneword,overandoveragain.Theylovetorepeatthemselves.I'vehadonewordgoontocoverawholepagesometimes."

"Whatdoyouwant?"Arthurread.

"Mother,"Mrs.Montaguereadback.

"Why?"

"Child."

"Whereisyourmother?"

"Home."

"Whereisyourhome?"

"Lost.Lost.Lost.Andafterthat,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,foldingthepaperbriskly,"therewasnothingbutgibberish."

"Neverknownplanchettesocooperative,"ArthursaidconfidinglytoTheodora."Quiteanexperience,really."

"ButwhypickonNell?"Theodoraaskedwithannoyance."Yourfoolplanchettehasnorighttosendmessagestopeoplewithoutpermissionor-"

"You'llnevergetresultsbyabusingplanchette,"Arthurbegan,butMrs.Montagueinterruptedhim,swingingtostareatEleanor."You'reNell?"shedemanded,andturnedonTheodora."WethoughtyouwereNell,"shesaid.

"So?"saidTheodoraimpudently.

"Itdoesn'taffectthemessages,ofcourse,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,tappingherpaperirritably,"althoughIdothinkwemighthavebeencorrectlyintroduced.Iamsurethatplanchetteknewthedifferencebetweenyou,butIcertainlydonotcaretobemisled."

"Don'tfeelneglected,"LukesaidtoTheodora."Wewillburyyoualive."

"WhenIgetamessagefromthatthing,"Theodorasaid,"Iexpectittobeabouthiddentreasure.Noneofthisnonsenseaboutsendingflowerstomyaunt."

Theyareallcarefullyavoidinglookingatme,Eleanorthought;Ihavebeensingledoutagain,andtheyarekindenoughtopretenditisnothing;"Whydoyouthinkallthatwassenttome?"sheasked,helpless.

"Really,child,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,droppingthepapersonthelowtable,"I

couldn'tbegintosay.Althoughyouarerathermorethanachild,aren'tyou?Perhapsyouaremorereceptivepsychicallythanyourealize,although"-andsheturnedawayindifferently-"howyoucouldbe,aweekinthishouseandnotpickingupthesimplestmessagefrombeyond…Thatfirewantsstirring."

"Nelldoesn'twantmessagesfrombeyond,"Theodorasaidcomfortingly,movingtotakeEleanor'scoldhandinhers."Nellwantsherwarmbedandalittlesleep."

Peace,Eleanorthoughtconcretely;whatIwantinallthisworldispeace,aquietspottolieandthink,aquietspotupamongtheflowerswhereIcandreamandtellmyselfsweetstories.

7-4"I,"Arthursaidrichly,"shallmakemyheadquartersinthesmallroomjustthis

sideofthenursery,wellwithinshoutingdistance.Ishallhavewithmeadrawnrevolver-donottakealarm,ladies;Iamanexcellentshot-andaflashlight,inadditiontoamostpiercingwhistle.IshallhavenodifficultysummoningtherestofyouincaseIobserveanythingworthyournotice,orIrequire-ah-company.Youmayallsleepquietly,Iassureyou.

"Arthur,"Mrs.Montagueexplained,"willpatrolthehouse.Everyhour,regularly,hewillmakearoundoftheupstairsrooms;Ithinkheneedhardlybotherwiththedownstairsroomstonight,sinceIshallbeuphere.Wehavedonethisbefore,manytimes.Comealong,everyone."Silentlytheyfollowedherupthestaircase,watchingherlittleaffectionatedabsatthestairrailandthecarvingsonthewalls."Itissuchablessing,"shesaidonce,"toknowthatthebeingsinthishouseareonlywaitingforanopportunitytotelltheirstoriesandfreethemselvesfromtheburdenoftheirsorrow.Now.Arthurwillfirstofallinspectthebedrooms.Arthur?"

"Withapologies,ladies,withapologies,"Arthursaid,openingthedooroftheblueroom,whichEleanorandTheodorashared.

"Adaintyspot,"hesaidplummily,"fitfortwosuchcharmingladies;Ishall,ifyoulike,saveyouthetroubleofglancingintotheclosetandunderthebed."SolemnlytheywatchedArthurgodownontohishandsandkneesandlookunderthebedsandthenrise,dustinghishands."Perfectlysafe,"hesaid.

"Now,whereamItobe?"Mrs.Montagueasked."Wheredidthatyoungmanputmybags?"

"Directlyattheendofthehall,"thedoctorsaid."Wecallitthenursery."

Mrs.Montague,followedbyArthur,movedpurposefullydownthehall,passedthecoldspotinthehall,andshivered."Iwillcertainlyneedextrablankets,"shesaid."Havethatyoungmanbringextrablanketsfromoneoftheotherrooms."Openingthenurserydoor,shenoddedandsaid,"Thebedlooksquitefresh,Imustadmit,buthastheroombeenaired?"

"ItoldMrs.Dudley,"thedoctorsaid.

"Itsmellsmusty.Arthur,youwillhavetoopenthatwindow,inspiteofthecold."

DrearilytheanimalsonthenurserywalllookeddownonMrs.Montague."Areyousure…"Thedoctorhesitated,andglancedupapprehensivelyatthegrinningfacesoverthenurserydoor."Iwonderifyououghttohavesomeoneinherewithyou,"hesaid.

"Mydear."Mrs.Montague,good-humorednowinthepresenceofthosewhohadpassedbeyond,wasamused."Howmanyhours-howmany,manyhours-haveIsatinpurestloveandunderstanding,aloneinaroomandyetneveralone?Mydear,howcanImakeyouperceivethatthereisnodangerwherethereisnothingbutloveandsympatheticunderstanding?Iamheretohelptheseunfortunatebeings-Iamheretoextendthehandofheartfeltfondness,andletthemknowthattherearestillsomewhoremember,whowilllistenandweepforthem;theirlonelinessisover,andI-"

"Yes,"thedoctorsaid,"butleavethedooropen."

"Unlocked,ifyouinsist."Mrs.Montaguewaspositivelymagnanimous.

"Ishallbeonlydownthehall,"thedoctorsaid."Icanhardlyoffertopatrol,sincethatwillbeArthur'soccupation,butifyouneedanythingIcanhearyou."

Mrs.Montaguelaughedandwavedherhandathim."TheseothersneedyourprotectionsomuchmorethanI,"shesaid."IwilldowhatIcan,ofcourse.Buttheyaresovery,veryvulnerable,withtheirhardheartsandtheirunseeingeyes."

Arthur,followedbyaLukelookingverymuchamused,returnedfromcheckingtheotherbedroomsonthefloorandnoddedbrisklyatthedoctor."Allclear,"hesaid."Perfectlysafeforyoutogotobednow."

"Thankyou,"thedoctortoldhimsoberlyandthensaidtohiswife,"Goodnight.Becareful."

"Goodnight,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,andsmiledaroundatallofthem."Pleasedon'tbeafraid,"shesaid."Nomatterwhathappens,rememberthatIamhere."

"Goodnight,"Theodorasaid,and"Goodnight,"saidLuke,andwithArthurbehindthemassuringthemthattheymightrestquietly,andnottoworryifthey

heardshots,andhewouldstarthisfirstpatrolatmidnight,EleanorandTheodorawentintotheirownroom,andLukeondownthehalltohis.Afteramomentthedoctor,turningreluctantlyawayfromhiswife'scloseddoor,followed.

"Wait,"TheodorasaidtoEleanor,onceintheirroom."Lukesaidtheywantusdownthehall;don'tgetundressedandbequiet."Sheopenedthedooracrackandwhisperedoverhershoulder,"Iswearthatoldbiddy'sgoingtoblowthishousewideopenwiththatperfectlovebusiness;ifIeversawaplacethathadnouseforperfectlove,it'sHillHouse.Now.Arthur'sclosedhisdoor:Quick.Bequiet."

Silently,makingnosoundonthehallcarpeting,theyhurriedintheirstockingfeetdownthehalltothedoctor'sroom."Hurry,"thedoctorsaid,openingthedoorjustwideenoughforthemtocomein,"bequiet."

"It'snotsafe,"Lukesaid,closingthedoortoacrackandcomingbacktositonthefloor,"thatman'sgoingtoshootsomebody."

"Idon'tlikeit,"thedoctorsaid,worried."LukeandIwillstayupandwatch,andIwantyoutwoladiesinherewherewecankeepaneyeonyou.Something'sgoingtohappen,"hesaid."Idon'tlikeit."

"Ijusthopeshedidn'tgoandmakeanythingmad,withherplanchette,"Theodorasaid."Sorry,DoctorMontague.Idon'tintendtospeakrudelyofyourwife."

Thedoctorlaughed,butstayedwithhiseyetothedoor."Sheoriginallyplannedtocomeforourentirestay,"hesaid,"butshehadenrolledinacourseinyogaandcouldnotmisshermeetings.Sheisanexcellentwomaninmostrespects,"headded,lookingearnestlyaroundatthem."Sheisagoodwife,andtakesverygoodcareofme.Shedoesthingssplendidly,really.Buttonsonmyshirts."Hesmiledhopefully."This"-andhegesturedinthedirectionofthehall-"thisispracticallyheronlyvice."

"Perhapsshefeelssheishelpingyouwithyourwork,"Eleanorsaid.

Thedoctorgrimaced,andshivered;atthatmomentthedoorswungwideandthencrashedshut,andinthesilenceoutsidetheycouldhearslowrushingmovementsasthoughaverysteady,verystrongwindwereblowingthelengthofthehall.Glancingatoneanother,theytriedtosmile,triedtolookcourageous

undertheslowcomingoftheunrealcoldandthen,throughthenoiseofwind,theknockingonthedoorsdownstairs.WithoutawordTheodoratookupthequiltfromthefootofthedoctor'sbedandfoldeditaroundEleanorandherself,andtheymovedclosetogether,slowlyinordernottomakeasound.Eleanor,clingingtoTheodora,deadlycoldinspiteofTheodora'sarmsaroundher,thought,Itknowsmyname,itknowsmynamethistime.Thepoundingcameupthestairs,crashingoneachstep.Thedoctorwastense,standingbythedoor,andLukemovedovertostandbesidehim."It'snowherenearthenursery,"hesaidtothedoctor,andputhishandouttostopthedoctorfromopeningthedoor.

"Howwearyonegetsofthisconstantpounding,"Theodorasaidridiculously."Nextsummer,Imustreallygosomewhereelse."

"Therearedisadvantageseverywhere,"Luketoldher."Inthelakeregionsyougetmosquitoes."

"CouldwehaveexhaustedtherepertoireofHillHouse?"Theodoraasked,hervoiceshakinginspiteofherlighttone.

"Seemslikewe'vehadthispoundingactbefore;isitgoingtostarteverythingalloveragain?"Thecrashingechoedalongthehail,seemingtocomefromthefarend,thefarthestfromthenursery,andthedoctor,tenseagainstthedoor,shookhisheadanxiously."I'mgoingtohavetogooutthere,"hesaid."Shemightbefrightened,"hetoldthem.

Eleanor,rockingtothepounding,whichseemedinsideherheadasmuchasinthehail,holdingtighttoTheodora,said,"Theyknowwhereweare,"andtheothers,assumingthatshemeantArthurandMrs.Montague,noddedandlistened.Theknocking,Eleanortoldherself,pressingherhandstohereyesandswayingwiththenoise,willgoondownthehail,itwillgoonandontotheendofthehailandturnandcomebackagain,itwilljustgoonandonthewayitdidbeforeandthenitwillstopandwewilllookateachotherandlaughandtrytorememberhowcoldwewere,andthelittleswimmingcurlsoffearonourbacks;afterawhileitwillstop.

"Itneverhurtus,"Theodorawastellingthedoctor,acrossthenoiseofthepounding."Itwon'thurtthem."

"Ionlyhopeshedoesn'ttrytodoanythingaboutit,"thedoctorsaidgrimly;hewasstillatthedoor,butseeminglyunabletoopenitagainstthevolumeofnoise

outside.

"Ifeelpositivelylikeanoldhandatthis,"TheodorasaidtoEleanor."Comecloser,Nell;keepwarm,"andshepulledEleanorevennearertoherundertheblanket,andthesickening,stillcoldsurroundedthem.

Thentherecame,suddenly,quiet,andthesecretcreepingsilencetheyallremembered;holdingtheirbreaths,theylookedatoneanother.Thedoctorheldthedoorknobwithbothhands,andLuke,althoughhisfacewaswhiteandhisvoicetrembled,saidlightly,"Brandy,anyone?Mypassionforspirits-"

"No."Theodoragiggledwildly."Notthatpun,"shesaid.

"Sorry.Youwon'tbelieveme,"Lukesaid,thebrandydecanterrattlingagainsttheglassashetriedtopour,"butInolongerthinkofitasapun.Thatiswhatlivinginahauntedhousedoesforasenseofhumor."Usingbothhandstocarrytheglass,hecametothebedwhereTheodoraandEleanorhuddledundertheblanket,andTheodorabroughtoutonehandandtooktheglass."Here,"shesaid,holdingittoEleanor'smouth."Drink."

Sipping,notwarmed,Eleanorthought,Weareintheeyeofthestorm;thereisnotmuchmoretime.ShewatchedLukecarefullycarryaglassofbrandyovertothedoctorandholditout,andthen,withoutcomprehending,watchedtheglassslipthroughLuke'sfingerstothefloorasthedoorwasshaken,violentlyandsilently.Lukepulledthedoctorback,andthedoorwasattackedwithoutsound,seemingalmosttobepullingawayfromitshinges,almostreadytobuckleandgodown,leavingthemexposed.Backingaway,Lukeandthedoctorwaited,tenseandhelpless.

"Itcan'tgetin,"Theodorawaswhisperingoverandover,hereyesonthedoor,"itcan'tgetin,don'tletitgetin,itcan'tgetin-"Theshakingstopped,thedoorwasquiet,andalittlecaressingtouchbeganonthedoorknob,feelingintimatelyandsoftlyandthen,becausethedoorwaslocked,pattingandfondlingthedoorframe,asthoughwheedlingtobeletin.

"Itknowswe'rehere,"Eleanorwhispered,andLuke,lookingbackatheroverhisshoulder,gesturedfuriouslyforhertobequiet.

Itissocold,Eleanorthoughtchildishly;Iwillneverbeabletosleepagainwithallthisnoisecomingfrominsidemyhead;howcantheseothershearthe

noisewhenitiscomingfrominsidemyhead?Iamdisappearinginchbyinchintothishouse,Iamgoingapartalittlebitatatimebecauseallthisnoiseisbreakingme;whyaretheothersfrightened?

Shewasaware,dully,thatthepoundinghadbegunagain,themetallicoverwhelmingsoundofitwashedoverherlikewaves;sheputhercoldhandstohermouthtofeelifherfacewasstillthere;Ihavehadenough,shethought,Iamtoocold.

"Atthenurserydoor,"Lukesaidtensely,speakingclearlythroughthenoise."Atthenurserydoor;don't."Andheputoutahandtostopthedoctor.

"Purestlove,"Theodorasaidmadly,"purestlove."Andshebegantogiggleagain.

"Iftheydon'topenthedoors-"Lukesaidtothedoctor.Thedoctorstoodnowwithhisheadagainstthedoor,listening,withLukeholdinghisarmtokeephimfrommoving.

Nowwearegoingtohaveanewnoise,Eleanorthought,listeningtotheinsideofherhead;itischanging.Thepoundinghadstopped,asthoughithadprovedineffectual,andtherewasnowaswiftmovementupanddownthehall,asofananimalpacingbackandforthwithunbelievableimpatience,watchingfirstonedoorandthenanother,alertforamovementinside,andtherewasagainthelittlebabblingmurmurwhichEleanorremembered;AmIdoingit?shewonderedquickly,isthatme?Andheardthetinylaughterbeyondthedoor,mockingher.

"Fe-fi-fo-fum,"Theodorasaidunderherbreath,andthelaughterswelledandbecameashouting;it'sinsidemyhead,Eleanorthought,puttingherhandsoverherface,it'sinsidemyheadandit'sgettingout,gettingout,gettingout-

Nowthehouseshiveredandshook,thecurtainsdashingagainstthewindows,thefurnitureswaying,andthenoiseinthehallbecamesogreatthatitpushedagainstthewalls;theycouldhearbreakingglassasthepicturesinthehallcamedown,andperhapsthesmashingofwindows.Lukeandthedoctorstrainedagainstthedoor,asthoughdesperatelyholdingitshut,andthefloormovedundertheirfeet.We'regoing,we'regoing,Eleanorthought,andheardTheodorasay,faraway,"Thehouseiscomingdown."Shesoundedcalm,andbeyondfear.Holdingtothebed,buffetedandshaken,Eleanorputherheaddownandclosedhereyesandbitherlipsagainstthecoldandfeltthesickeningdropastheroom

fellawaybeneathherandthenrightitselfandthentamed,slowly,swinging."Godalmighty,"Theodorasaid,andamileawayatthedoorLukecaughtthedoctorandheldhimupright.

"Areyouallright?"Lukecalled,backbracedagainstthedoor,holdingthedoctorbytheshoulders."Theo,areyouallright?"

"Hangingon,"Theodorasaid."Idon'tknowaboutNell."

"Keepherwarm,"Lukesaid,faraway."Wehaven'tseenitallyet."Hisvoicetrailedaway;EleanorcouldhearandseehimfarawayinthedistantroomwhereheandTheodoraandthedoctorstillwaited;inthechurningdarknesswhereshefellendlesslynothingwasrealexceptherownhandswhitearoundthebedpost.Shecouldseethem,verysmall,andseethemtightenwhenthebedrockedandthewallleanedforwardandthedoorturnedsidewaysfaraway.Somewheretherewasagreat,shakingcrashassomehugethingcameheadlong;itmustbethetower,Eleanorthought,andIsupposeditwouldstandforyears;wearelost,lost;thehouseisdestroyingitself.Sheheardthelaughteroverall,comingthinandlunatic,risinginitslittlecrazytune,andthought,No;itisoverforme.Itistoomuch,shethought,Iwillrelinquishmypossessionofthisselfofmine,abdicate,giveoverwillinglywhatIneverwantedatall;whateveritwantsofmeitcanhave.

"I'llcome,"shesaidaloud,andwasspeakinguptoTheodora,wholeanedoverher.Theroomwasperfectlyquiet,andbetweenthestillcurtainsatthewindowshecouldseethesunlight.Lukesatinachairbythewindow;hisfacewasbruisedandhisshirtwastorn,andhewasstilldrinkingbrandy.Thedoctorsatbackinanotherchair;hishairfreshlycombed,lookingneatanddapperandself-possessed.Theodora,leaningoverEleanor,said,"She'sallright,Ithink,"andEleanorsatupandshookherhead,staring.Composedandquiet,thehouselifteditselfprimlyaroundher,andnothinghadbeenmoved.

"How…"Eleanorsaid,andallthreeofthemlaughed.

"Anotherday,"thedoctorsaid,andinspiteofhisappearancehisvoicewaswan."Anothernight,"hesaid.

"AsItriedtosayearlier,"Lukeremarked,"livinginahauntedhouseplayshellwithasenseofhumor;Ireallydidnotintendtomakeaforbiddenpun,"hetoldTheodora.

"How-arethey?"Eleanorasked,thewordssoundingunfamiliarandhermouthstiff.

"Bothsleepinglikebabies,"thedoctorsaid."Actually,"hesaid,asthoughcontinuingaconversationbegunwhileEleanorslept,"Icannotbelievethatmywifestirredupthatstorm,butIdoadmitthatonemorewordaboutpurelove…"

"Whathappened?"Eleanorasked;Imusthavebeengrittingmyteethallnight,shethought,thewaymymouthfeels.

"HillHousewentdancing,"Theodorasaid,"takingusalongonamadmidnightfling.Atleast,Ithinkitwasdancing;itmighthavebeenturningsomersaults."

"It'salmostnine,"thedoctorsaid."WhenEleanorisready…"

"Comealong,baby,"Theodorasaid."Theowillwashyourfaceforyouandmakeyouallneatforbreakfast."

Chapter8"DidanyonetellthemthatMrs.Dudleyclearsatten?"Theodoralookedinto

thecoffeepotspeculatively.Thedoctorhesitated."Ihatetowakethemaftersuchanight."

"ButMrs.Dudleyclearsatten."

"They'recoming,"Eleanorsaid."Icanhearthemonthestairs."Icanheareverything,alloverthehouse,shewantedtotellthem.

Then,distantly,theycouldallhearMrs.Montague'svoice,raisedinirritationandLuke,realizing,said,"Oh,Lord-theycan'tfindthediningroom,"andhurriedouttoopendoors.

"-properlyaired."Mrs.Montague'svoiceprecededher,andshesweptintothediningroom,tappedthedoctorcurtlyontheshoulderbywayofgreetingandseatedherselfwithageneralnodtotheothers."Imustsay,"shebeganatonce,"thatIthinkyoumighthavecalledusforbreakfast.Isupposeeverythingiscold?Isthecoffeebearable?"

"Goodmorning,"Arthursaidsulkily,andsatdownhimselfwithanairofsullenilltemper.TheodoraalmostupsetthecoffeepotinherhastetosetacupofcoffeebeforeMrs.Montague.

"Itseemshotenough,"Mrs.Montaguesaid."IshallspeaktoyourMrs.Dudleythismorninginanycase.Thatroommustbeaired."

"Andyournight?"thedoctoraskedtimidly."Didyouspenda-ah-profitablenight?"

"Ifbyprofitableyoumeantcomfortable,John,Iwishyouwouldsayso.No,inanswertoyourmostcivilinquiry,Ididnotspendacomfortablenight.Ididnotsleepawink.Thatroomisunendurable."

"Noisyoldhouse,isn'tit?"Arthursaid."Branchkepttappingagainstmywindowallnight;nearlydrovemecrazy,tappingandtapping."

"Evenwiththewindowsopenthatroomisstuffy.Mrs.Dudley'scoffeeisnotaspoorasherhousekeeping.Anothercup,ifyouplease.Iamastonished,John,

thatyouputmeinaroomnotproperlyaired;ifthereistobeanycommunicationwiththosebeyond,theaircirculation,atleast,oughttobeadequate.Ismelleddustallnight."

"Can'tunderstandyou,"Arthursaidtothedoctor,"lettingyourselfgetallnervyaboutthisplace.Satthereallnightlongwithmyrevolverandnotamousestirred.Exceptforthatinfernalbranchtappingonthewindow.Nearlydrovemecrazy,"heconfidedtoTheodora.

"Wewillnotgiveuphope,ofcourse."Mrs.Montaguescowledatherhusband."Perhapstonighttheremaybesomemanifestations."

8-2"Theo?"Eleanorputdownhernotepad,andTheodora,scribblingbusily,

lookedupwithafrown."I'vebeenthinkingaboutsomething."

"Ihatewritingthesenotes;Ifeellikeadamnfooltryingtowritethiscrazystuff."

"I'vebeenwondering."

"Well?"Theodorasmiledalittle."Youlooksoserious,"shesaid."Areyoucomingtosomegreatdecision?"

"Yes,"Eleanorsaid,deciding."AboutwhatI'mgoingtodoafterwards.AfterweallleaveHillHouse."

"Well?

"I'mcomingwithyou,"Eleanorsaid.

"Comingwherewithme?"

"Backwithyou,backhome.I"-andEleanorsmiledwryly-"amgoingtofollowyouhome."

Theodorastared."Why?"sheaskedblankly.

"Ineverhadanyonetocareabout,"Eleanorsaid,wonderingwhereshehadheardsomeonesaysomethinglikethisbefore."IwanttobesomeplacewhereIbelong."

"Iamnotinthehabitoftakinghomestraycats,"Theodorasaidlightly.

Eleanorlaughedtoo."Iamakindofstraycat,aren'tI?"

"Well."Theodoratookupherpencilagain."Youhaveyourownhome,"shesaid."You'llbegladenoughtogetbacktoitwhenthetimecomes,NellmyNellie.Isupposewe'llallbegladtogetbackhome.Whatareyousayingaboutthosenoiseslastnight?Ican'tdescribethem."

"I'llcome,youknow,"Eleanorsaid."I'lljustcome.

"Nellie,Nellie."Theodoralaughedagain."Look,"shesaid."Thisisjustasummer,justafewweeks'visittoalovelyoldsummerresortinthecountry.Youhaveyourlifebackhome,Ihavemylife.Whenthesummerisover,wegoback.We'llwriteeachother,ofcourse,andmaybevisit,butHillHouseisnotforever,youknow."

"Icangetajob;Iwon'tbeinyourway.

"Idon'tunderstand."Theodorathrewdownherpencilinexasperation."Doyoualwaysgowhereyou'renotwanted?"

Eleanorsmiledplacidly."I'veneverbeenwantedanywhere,"shesaid.

8-3"It'sallsomotherly,"Lukesaid."Everythingsosoft.Everythingsopadded.

Greatembracingchairsandsofaswhichturnouttobehardandunwelcomewhenyousitdown,andrejectyouatonce-"

"Theo?"Eleanorsaidsoftly,andTheodoralookedatherandshookherheadinbewilderment.

"-andhandseverywhere.Littlesoftglasshands,curvingouttoyou,beckoning-"

"Theo?"Eleanorsaid.

"No,"Theodorasaid."Iwon'thaveyou.AndIdon'twanttotalkaboutitanymore.

"Perhaps,"Lukesaid,watchingthem,"thesinglemostrepulsiveaspectistheemphasisupontheglobe.Iaskyoutoregardimpartiallythelampshademadeoftinypiecesofbrokenglassgluedtogether,orthegreatroundballsofthelightsuponthestairsortheflutediridescentcandyjaratTheo'selbow.Inthediningroomthereisabowlofparticularlyfilthyyellowglassrestinguponthecuppedhandsofachild,andanEastereggofsugarwithavisionofshepherdsdancinginside.Abosomyladysupportsthestair-railonherhead,andunderglassinthedrawingroom-"

"Nellie,leavemealone.Let'swalkdowntothebrookorsomething."

"-achild'sface,doneincross-stitch.Nell,don'tlooksoapprehensive;Theohasonlysuggestedthatyouwalkdowntothebrook.Ifyoulike,Iwillgoalong."

"Anything,"Theodorasaid.

"Tofrightenawayrabbits.Ifyoulike,Iwillcarryastick.Ifyoulike,Iwillnotcomeatall.Theohasonlytosaytheword."

Theodoralaughed."PerhapsNellwouldratherstayhereandwriteonwalls."

"Sounkind,"Lukesaid."Callousofyou,Theo."

"IwanttohearmoreabouttheshepherdsdancingintheEasteregg,"Theodorasaid.

"Aworldcontainedinsugar.Sixverytinyshepherdsdancing,andashepherdessinpinkandbluereclininguponamossybankenjoyingthem;thereareflowersandtreesandsheep,andanoldgoatherdplayingpipes.Iwouldliketohavebeenagoatherd,Ithink."

"Ifyouwerenotabullfighter,"Theodorasaid.

"IfIwerenotabullfighter.Nell'saffairsarethetalkofthecafés,youwillrecall."

"Pan,"Theodorasaid."Youshouldliveinahollowtree,Luke."

"Nell,"Lukesaid,"youarenotlistening."

"Ithinkyoufrightenher,Luke."

"BecauseHillHousewillbeminesomeday,withitsuntoldtreasuresanditscushions?Iamnotgentlewithahouse,Nell;ImighttakeafitofrestlessnessandsmashthesugarEasteregg,orshatterthelittlechildhandsorgostompingandshoutingupanddownthestairsstrikingatglued-glasslampswithacaneandslashingatthebosomyladywiththestaircaseonherhead;Imight-"

"Yousee?Youdofrightenher."

"IbelieveIdo,"Lukesaid."Nell,Iamonlytalkingnonsense."

"Idon'tthinkheevenownsacane,"Theodorasaid.

"Asamatteroffact,Ido.Nell,Iamonlytalkingnonsense.Whatisshethinkingabout,Theo?"

Theodorasaidcarefully,"ShewantsmetotakeherhomewithmeafterweleaveHillHouse,andIwon'tdoit."

Lukelaughed."PoorsillyNell,"hesaid."Journeysendinloversmeeting.Let'sgodowntothebrook."

"Amotherhouse,"Lukesaid,astheycamedownthestepsfromtheverandatothelawn,"ahousemother,aheadmistress,ahousemistress.IamsureIwillbeaverypoorhousemaster,likeourArthur,whenHillHousebelongstome."

''Ican'tunderstandanyonewantingtoownHillHouse,"Theodorasaid,andLuketurnedandlookedbackwithamusementatthehouse.

"Youneverknowwhatyouaregoingtowantuntilyouseeitclearly,"hesaid."IfIneverhadachanceofowningitImightfeelverydifferently.Whatdopeoplereallywantwitheachother,asNellaskedmeonce;whatuseareotherpeople?"

"Itwasmyfaultmymotherdied,"Eleanorsaid."SheknockedonthewallandcalledmeandcalledmeandIneverwokeup.Ioughttohavebroughtherthemedicine;Ialwaysdidbefore.ButthistimeshecalledmeandIneverwokeup."

"Youshouldhaveforgottenallthatbynow,"Theodorasaid.

"I'vewonderedeversinceifIdidwakeup.IfIdidwakeupandhearher,andifIjustwentbacktosleep.Itwouldhavebeeneasy,andI'vewonderedaboutit."

"Turnhere,"Lukesaid."Ifwe'regoingtothebrook."

"Youworrytoomuch,Nell.Youprobablyjustlikethinkingitwasyourfault."

"Itwasgoingtohappensoonerorlater,inanycase,"Eleanorsaid."Butofcoursenomatterwhenithappeneditwasgoingtobemyfault."

"Ifithadn'thappenedyouwouldneverhavecometoHillHouse."

"Wegosinglefilealonghere,"Lukesaid."Nell,gofirst."Smiling,Eleanorwentonahead,kickingherfeetcomfortablyalongthepath.NowIknowwhereIamgoing,shethought;Itoldheraboutmymothersothat'sallright;Iwillfindalittlehouse,ormaybeanapartmentlikehers.Iwillseehereveryday,andwewillgosearchingtogetherforlovelythingsgold-trimmeddishes,andawhitecat,andasugarEasteregg,andacupofstars.Iwillnotbefrightenedoraloneanymore;IwillcallmyselfjustEleanor."Areyoutwotalkingaboutme?"sheaskedoverhershoulder.

AfteraminuteLukeansweredpolitely,"Astrugglebetweengoodandevilfor

thesoulofNell.IsupposeIwillhavetobeGod,however."

"Butofcourseshecannottrusteitherofus,"Theodorasaid,amused.

"Notme,certainly,"Lukesaid.

"Besides,Nell,"Theodorasaid,"wewerenottalkingaboutyouatall.AsthoughIwerethegamesmistress,"shesaid,halfangry,toLuke.

Ihavewaitedsuchalongtime,Eleanorwasthinking;Ihavefinallyearnedmyhappiness.Shecame,leadingthem,tothetopofthehillandlookeddowntotheslimlineoftreestheymustpassthroughtogettothebrook.Theyarelovelyagainstthesky,shethought,sostraightandfree;Lukewaswrongaboutthesoftnesseverywhere,becausethetreesarehardlikewoodentrees.Theyarestilltalkingaboutme,talkingabouthowIcametoHillHouseandfoundTheodoraandnowIwillnotlethergo.Behindhershecouldhearthemurmuroftheirvoices,edgedsometimeswithmalice,sometimesrisinginmockery,sometimestouchedwithalaughteralmostofkinship,andshewalkedondreamily,hearingthemcomebehind.Shecouldtellwhentheyenteredthetallgrassaminuteaftershedid,becausethegrassmovedhissinglybeneaththeirfeetandastartledgrasshopperleapedwildlyaway.

Icouldhelpherinhershop,Eleanorthought;shelovesbeautifulthingsandIwouldgowithhertofindthem.Wecouldgoanywherewepleased,totheedgeoftheworldifweliked,andcomebackwhenwewantedto.Heistellinghernowwhatheknowsaboutme:thatIamnoteasilytakenin,thatIhadanoleanderwallaroundme,andsheislaughingbecauseIamnotgoingtobelonelyanymore.Theyareverymuchalikeandtheyareverykind;Iwouldnotreallyhaveexpectedasmuchfromthemastheyaregivingme;Iwasveryrighttocomebecausejourneysendinloversmeeting.

Shecameunderthehardbranchesofthetreesandtheshadowswerepleasantlycoolafterthehotsunonthepath;nowshehadtowalkmorecarefullybecausethepathleddownhillandthereweresometimesrocksandrootsacrossherway.Behindhertheirvoiceswenton,quickandsharp,andthenmoreslowlyandlaughing;Iwillnotlookback,shethoughthappily,becausethentheywouldknowwhatIamthinking;wewilltalkaboutittogethersomeday,TheoandI,whenwehaveplentyoftime.HowstrangeIfeel,shethought,comingoutofthetreesontothelaststeeppartofthepathgoingdowntothebrook;Iamcaughtin

akindofwonder,'Iamstillwithjoy.IwillnotlookarounduntilIamnexttothebrook,whereshealmostfellthedaywecame;Iwillremindheraboutthegoldenfishinthebrookandaboutourpicnic.

Shesatdownonthenarrowgreenbankandputherchinonherknees;Iwillnotforgetthisonemomentinmylife,shepromisedherself,listeningtotheirvoicesandtheirfootstepscomingslowlydownthehill."Hurryup,"shesaid,turningherheadtolookforTheodora."I-"andwassilent.Therewasnooneonthehill,nothingbutthefootstepscomingclearlyalongthepathandthefaintmockinglaughter.

"Who-?"shewhispered."Who?"

Shecouldseethegrassgodownundertheweightofthefootsteps.Shesawanothergrasshopperleapwildlyaway,andapebblejarandroll.Sheheardclearlythebrushoffootstepsonthepathandthen,standingbackhardagainstthebank,heardthelaughterveryclose;"Eleanor,Eleanor,"andshehearditinsideandoutsideherhead;thiswasacallshehadbeenlisteningforallherlife.Thefootstepsstoppedandshewascaughtinamovementofairsosolidthatshestaggeredandwasheld."Eleanor,Eleanor,"sheheardthroughtherushingofairpastherears,"Eleanor,Eleanor,"andshewasheldtightandsafe.Itisnotcoldatall,shethought,itisnotcoldatall.Sheclosedhereyesandleanedbackagainstthebankandthought,Don'tletmego,andthen,Stay,stay,asthefirmnesswhichheldherslippedaway,leavingherandfading;"Eleanor,Eleanor,"sheheardoncemoreandthenshestoodbesidethebrook,shiveringasthoughthesunhadgone,watchingwithoutsurprisethevacantfootstepsmoveacrossthewaterofthebrook,sendingsmallripplesgoing,andthenoverontothegrassontheotherside,movingslowlyandcaressinglyupandoverthehill.

Comeback,shealmostsaid,standingshakingbythebrook,andthensheturnedandranmadlyupthehill,cryingassheranandcalling,"Theo?Luke?"

Shefoundtheminthelittlegroupoftrees,leaningagainstatreetrunkandtalkingsoftlyandlaughing;whensherantothemtheyturned,startled,andTheodorawasalmostangry."Whatonearthdoyouwantthistime?"shesaid.

"Iwaitedforyoubythebrook-"

"Wedecidedtostayherewhereitwascool,"Theodorasaid."Wethoughtyouhearduscallingyou.Didn'twe,Luke?"

"Oh,yes,"saidLuke,embarrassed."Weweresureyouhearduscalling."

"Anyway,"Theodorasaid,"weweregoingtocomealonginaminute.Weren'twe,Luke?"

"Yes,"saidLuke,grinning."Oh,yes."

8-4"Subterraneanwaters,"thedoctorsaid,wavinghisfork.

"Nonsense.DoesMrs.Dudleydoallyourcooking?Theasparagusismorethanpassable.Arthur,letthatyoungmanhelpyoutoasparagus.''

"Mydear."Thedoctorlookedfondlyuponhiswife."Ithasbecomeourcustomtorestforanhourorsoafterlunch;ifyou-"

"Certainlynot.IhavefartoomuchtodowhileIamhere.Imustspeaktoyourcook,Imustseethatmyroomisaired,Imustreadyplanchetteforanothersessionthisevening;Arthurmustcleanhisrevolver."

"Markofafightingman,"Arthurconceded."Firearmsalwaysingoodorder.''

"Youandtheseyoungpeoplemayrest,ofcourse.PerhapsyoudonotfeeltheurgencywhichIdo,theterriblecompulsiontoaidwhateverpoorsoulswanderrestlesslyhere;perhapsyoufindmefoolishinmysympathyforthem,perhapsIamevenludicrousinyoureyesbecauseIcanspareatearforalostabandonedsoul,leftwithoutanyhelpinghand;purelove-"

"Croquet?"Lukesaidhastily."Croquet,perhaps?"Helookedeagerlyfromonetoanother."Badminton?"hesuggested.

"Croquet?"

"Subterraneanwaters?"Theodoraaddedhelpfully.

"Nofancysaucesforme,"Arthursaidfirmly."Tellmyfellowsit'sthemarkofacad."HelookedthoughtfullyatLuke."Markofacad.Fancysauces,womenwaitingonyou.Myfellowswaitonthemselves.Markofaman,"hesaidtoTheodora.

"Andwhatelsedoyouteachthem?"Theodoraaskedpolitely.

"Teach?Youmean-dotheylearnanything,myfellows?Youmean-algebra,like?Latin?Certainly."Arthursatback,pleased."Leaveallthatkindofthingtotheteachers,"heexplained.

"Andhowmanyfellowsarethereinyourschool?"Theodoraleanedforward,courteous,interested,makingconversationwithaguest,andArthurbasked;attheheadofthetableMrs.Montaguefrownedandtappedherfingersimpatiently.

"Howmany?Howmany.Gotacracktennisteam,youknow."HebeamedonTheodora."Crack.Absolutelytophole.Notcountingmilksops?"

"Notcounting,"saidTheodora,"milksops."

"Oh.Tennis.Golf.Baseball.Track.Cricket."Hesmiledslyly.

"Didn'tguessweplayedcricket,didyou?Thenthere'ssswimming,andvolleyball.Somefellowsgooutforeverything,though,"hetoldheranxiously."All-aroundtypes.Maybeseventy,altogether."

"Arthur?"Mrs.Montaguecouldcontainherselfnolonger."Noshoptalk,now.You'reonvacation,remember."

"Yes,sillyofme."Arthursmiledfondly."Gottochecktheweapons,"heexplained.

"It'stwoo'clock,"Mrs.Dudleysaidinthedoorway."Iclearoffattwo."

8-5Theodoralaughed,andEleanor,hiddendeepintheshadowsbehindthe

summerhouse,putherhandsoverhermouthtokeepfromspeakingtoletthemknowshewasthere;I'vegottofindout,shewasthinking,I'vegottofindout.

"It'scalled'TheGrattanMurders,'"Lukewassaying."Lovelything.Icanevensingitifyouprefer."

"Markofacad."Theodoralaughedagain."PoorLuke;Iwouldhavesaid'scoundrel.'"

"IfyouwouldratherbespendingthisbriefhourwithArthur…"

"OfcourseIwouldratherbewithArthur.Aneducatedmanisalwaysanenliveningcompanion."

"Cricket,"Lukesaid."Neverwouldhavethoughtweplayedcricket,wouldyou?"

"Sing,sing,"Theodorasaid,laughing.

Lukesang,inanasalmonotone,emphasizingeachworddistinctly:

"ThefirstwasyoungMissGrattan,

Shetriednottolethimin;

Hestabbedherwithacornknife,

That'showhiscrimesbegin.

"ThenextwasGrandmaGrattan,

Sooldandtiredandgray;

Shefitoffherattacker

Untilherstrengthgiveway.

"ThenextwasGrandpaGrattan,

A-settin'bythefire;

Hecreptupclosebehindhim

Andstrangledhimwithawire.

"ThelastwasBabyGrattan

Allinhistrundlebed;

Hestovehimintheshortribs

Untilthatchildwasdead.

"Andspittobaccojuice

Allonhisgoldenhead."

Whenhefinishedtherewasamoment'ssilence,andthenTheodorasaidweakly,"It'slovely,Luke.Perfectlybeautiful.Iwillneverhearitagainwithoutthinkingofyou."

"IplantosingittoArthur,"Lukesaid.Whenaretheygoingtotalkaboutme?Eleanorwonderedintheshadows.AfteraminuteLukewentonidly,"Iwonderwhatthedoctor'sbookwillbelike,whenhewritesit?Doyousupposehe'llputusin?"

"Youwillprobablyturnupasanearnestyoungpsychicresearcher.AndIwillbealadyofundeniablegiftsbutdubiousreputation."

"IwonderifMrs.Montaguewillhaveachaptertoherself."

"AndArthur.AndMrs.Dudley.Ihopehedoesn'treduceusalltofiguresonagraph."

"Iwonder,Iwonder,"saidLuke."It'swarmthisafternoon,"hesaid."Whatcouldwedothatiscool?"

"WecouldaskMrs.Dudleytomakelemonade."

"YouknowwhatIwanttodo?"Lukesaid."Iwanttoexplore.Let'sfollowthebrookupintothehillsandseewhereitcomesfrom;maybethere'sapondsomewhereandwecangoswimming."

"Orawaterfall;itlookslikeabrookthatrunsnaturallyfromawaterfall."

"Comeon,then."Listeningbehindthesummerhouse,Eleanorheardtheirlaughterandthesoundoftheirfeetrunningdownthepathtothehouse.

8-6"Here'saninterestingthing,here,"Arthur'svoicesaidinthemannerofone

endeavoringvaliantlytoentertain,"hereinthisbook.Sayshowtomakecandlesoutofordinarychildren'scrayons."

"Interesting."Thedoctorsoundedweary."Ifyouwillexcuseme,Arthur,Ihaveallthesenotestowriteup."

"Sure,Doctor.Allgotourworktodo.Notasound."Eleanor,listeningoutsidetheparlordoor,heardthesmallirritatingnoisesofArthursettlingdowntobequiet."Notmuchtodoaroundhere,isthere?"Arthursaid."Howd'youpassthetimegenerally?"

"Working,"thedoctorsaidshortly.

"Youwritingdownwhathappensinthehouse?"

"Yes."

"Yougotmeinthere?"

"Seemslikeyououghttoputinournotesfromplanchette.Whatareyouwritingnow?"

"Arthur.Canyouread,orsomething.

"Sure.Nevermeanttomakeanuisanceofmyself."EleanorheardArthurtakeupabook,andputitdown,andlightacigarette,andsigh,andstir,andfinallysay,"Listen,isn'tthereanythingtodoaroundhere?Whereiseverybody?"

Thedoctorspokepatiently,butwithoutinterest."TheodoraandLukehavegonetoexplorethebrook,Ithink.AndIsupposetheothersarearoundsomewhere.Asamatteroffact,IbelievemywifewaslookingforMrs.Dudley."

"Oh."Arthursighedagain."Mightaswellread,Iguess,"hesaid,andthen,afteraminute,"Say,Doctor.Idon'tliketobotheryou,butlistentowhatitsayshereinthisbook…"

8-7"No,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,"Idonotbelieveinthrowingyoungpeople

togetherpromiscuously,Mrs.Dudley.Ifmyhusbandhadconsultedmebeforearrangingthisfantastichouseparty-"

"Well,now."ItwasMrs.Dudley'svoice,andEleanor,pressedagainstthedining-roomdoor,staredandopenedhermouthwideagainstthewoodenpanelsofthedoor."Ialwayssay,Mrs.Montague,thatyou'reonlyyoungonce.Thoseyoungpeopleareenjoyingthemselves,andit'sonlynaturalfortheyoung."

"Butlivingunderoneroof-"

"It'snotasthoughtheyweren'tgrownupenoughtoknowrightfromwrong.ThatprettyTheodoraladyisoldenoughtotakecareofherself,I'dthink,nomatterhowgayMr.Luke."

"Ineedadrydishtowel,Mrs.Dudley,forthesilverware.It'sashame,Ithink,thewaychildrengrowupthesedaysknowingeverything.Thereshouldbemoremysteriesforthem,morethingsthatbelongrightlytogrownups,thattheyhavetowaittofindout."

"Thentheyfindthemoutthehardway."Mrs.Dudley'svoicewascomfortableandeasy."Dudleybroughtinthesetomatoesfromthegardenthismorning,"shesaid."Theydidwellthisyear."

"ShallIstartonthem?"

"No,oh,no.Yousitdownoverthereandrest;you'vedoneenough.I'llputonthewaterandwe'llhaveanicecupoftea."

8-8"Journeysendinloversmeeting,"Lukesaid,andsmiledacrosstheroomat

Eleanor."DoesthatbluedressonTheoreallybelongtoyou?I'veneverseenitbefore."

"IamEleanor,"Theodorasaidwickedly,"becauseIhaveabeard."

"Youwerewisetobringclothesfortwo,"LuketoldEleanor.

"Theowouldneverhavelookedhalfsowellinmyoldblazer."

"IamEleanor,"Theosaid,"becauseIamwearingblue.IlovemylovewithanEbecausesheisethereal.HernameisEleanor,andshelivesinexpectation."

Sheisbeingspiteful,Eleanorthoughtremotely;fromagreatdistance,itseemed,shecouldwatchthesepeopleandlistentothem.Nowshethought,TheoisbeingspitefulandLukeistryingtobenice;LukeisashamedofhimselfforlaughingatmeandheisashamedofTheoforbeingspiteful."Luke,"Theodorasaid,withahalf-glanceatEleanor,"comeandsingtomeagain.

"Later,"Lukesaiduncomfortably."Thedoctorhasjustsetupthechessmen."Heturnedawayinsomehaste.

Theodora,piqued,leanedherheadagainstthebackofherchairandclosedhereyes,clearlydeterminednottospeak.Eleanorsat,lookingdownatherhands,andlistenedtothesoundsofthehouse.Somewhereupstairsadoorswungquietlyshut;abirdtouchedthetowerbrieflyandflewoff.Inthekitchenthestovewassettlingandcooling,withlittlesoftcreakings.Ananimal-arabbit?-movedthroughthebushesbythesummerhouse.Shecouldevenhear,withhernewawarenessofthehouse,thedustdriftinggentlyintheattics,thewoodaging.Onlythelibrarywasclosedtoher;shecouldnotheartheheavybreathingofMrs.MontagueandArthurovertheirplanchette,northeirlittleexcitedquestions;shecouldnothearthebooksrottingorrustseepingintothecircularironstairwaytothetower.Inthelittleparlorshecouldhear,withoutraisinghereyes,Theodora'ssmallirritatedtappingsandthequietsoundofthechessmenbeingsetdown.Sheheardwhenthelibrarydoorslammedopen,andthenthesharpangrysoundoffootstepscomingtothelittleparlor,andthenallofthemturnedasMrs.Montagueopenedthedoorandmarchedin.

"Imustsay,"saidMrs.Montagueonasharp,explosivebreath,

"Ireallymustsaythatthisisthemostinfuriating-"

"Mydear."Thedoctorrose,butMrs.Montaguewavedhimasideangrily."Ifyouhadthedecency-"shesaid.

Arthur,comingbehindhersheepishly,movedpastherand,almostslinking,settledinachairbythefire.HeshookhisheadwarilywhenTheodoraturnedtohim.

"Thecommondecency.Afterall,John,Ididcomeallthisway,andsodidArthur,justtohelpout,andIcertainlymustsaythatIneverexpectedtomeetwithsuchcynicismandincredulityfromyou,ofallpeople,andthese-"ShegesturedatEleanorandTheodoraandLuke."AllIask,allIask,issomesmallminimumoftrust,justalittlebitofsympathyforallIamtryingtodo,andinsteadyoudisbelieve,youscoff,youmockandjeer."Breathingheavily,red-faced,sheshookherfingeratthedoctor."Planchette,"shesaidbitterly,"willnotspeaktometonight.NotonesinglewordhaveIhadfromplanchette,asadirectresultofyoursneeringandyourskepticism;planchettemayverypossiblynotspeaktomeforamatterofweeks-ithashappenedbefore,Icantellyou;ithashappenedbefore,whenIsubjectedittothetauntsofunbelievers;Ihaveknownplanchettetobesilentforweeks,andtheveryleastIcouldhaveexpected,cominghereasIdidwithnonebutthefinestmotives,wasalittlerespect."Sheshookherfingeratthedoctor,wordlessforthemoment.

"Mydear,"thedoctorsaid,"Iamcertainthatnoneofuswouldknowinglyhaveinterfered."

"Mockingandjeering,wereyounot?Skeptical,withplanchette'sverywordsbeforeyoureyes?Thoseyoungpeoplepertandinsolent?"

"Mrs.Montague,really…"saidLuke,butMrs.Montaguebrushedpasthimandsatherselfdown,herlipstightandhereyesblazing.Thedoctorsighed,startedtospeak,andthenstopped.Turningawayfromhiswife,hegesturedLukebacktothechesstable.Apprehensively,Lukefollowed,andArthur,wrigglinginhischair,saidinalowvoicetoTheodora,"Neverseenhersoupset,youknow.Miserableexperience,waitingforplanchette.Soeasilyoffended,ofcourse.Sensitivetoatmosphere."Seemingtobelievethathehadsatisfactorilyexplainedthesituation,hesatbackandsmiledtimidly.

Eleanorwashardlylistening,wonderingdimlyatthemovementintheroom.Someonewaswalkingaround,shethoughtwithoutinterest;Lukewaswalkingbackandforthintheroom,talkingsoftlytohimselfsurelyanoddwaytoplaychess?Humming?Singing?Onceortwiceshealmostmadeoutabrokenword,andthenLukespokequietly;hewasatthechesstablewherehebelonged,andEleanorturnedandlookedattheemptycenteroftheroom,wheresomeonewaswalkingandsingingsoftly,andthenshehearditclearly:

Gowalkingthroughthevalley,

Gowalkingthroughthevalley,

Gowalkingthroughthevalley,

Aswehavedonebefore.

Why,Iknowthat,shethought,listening,smiling,tothefaintmelody;weusedtoplaythatgame;Irememberthat.

"It'ssimplythatit'samostdelicateandintricatepieceofmachinery,"Mrs.MontaguewassayingtoTheodora;shewasstillangry,butvisiblysofteningunderTheodora'ssympatheticattention."Theslightestairofdisbeliefoffendsit,naturally.Howwouldyoufeelifpeoplerefusedtobelieveinyou?"

Goinandoutthewindows,

Goinandoutthewindows,

Goinandoutthewindows,

Aswehavedonebefore.

Thevoicewaslight,perhapsonlyachild'svoice,singingsweetlyandthinly,onthebarestbreath,andEleanorsmiledandremembered,hearingthelittlesongmoreclearlythanMrs.Montague'svoicecontinuingaboutplanchette.

Goforthandfaceyourlover,

Goforthandfaceyourlover,

Goforthandfaceyourlover,

Aswehavedonebefore.

Sheheardthelittlemelodyfade,andfelttheslightmovementofairasthefootstepscameclosetoher,andsomethingalmostbrushedherface;perhapstherewasatinysighagainsthercheek,andsheturnedinsurprise.Lukeandthedoctorbentoverthechessboard,ArthurleanedconfidinglyclosetoTheodora,andMrs.Montaguetalked.

Noneofthemheardit,shethoughtwithjoy;nobodyhearditbutme.

Chapter9Eleanorclosedthebedroomdoorsoftlybehindher,notwantingtoawaken

Theodora,althoughthenoiseofadoorclosingwouldhardlydisturbanyone,shethought,whosleptsosoundlyasTheodora;Ilearnedtosleepverylightly,shetoldherselfcomfortingly,whenIwaslisteningformymother.Thehallwasdim,lightedonlybythesmallnightlightoverthestairs,andallthedoorswereclosed.Funny,Eleanorthought,goingsoundlesslyinherbarefeetalongthehallcarpet,it'stheonlyhouseIeverknewwhereyoudon'thavetoworryaboutmakingnoiseatnight,oratleastaboutanyoneknowingit'syou.Shehadawakenedwiththethoughtofgoingdowntothelibrary,andhermindhadsuppliedherwithareason:Icannotsleep,sheexplainedtoherself,andsoIamgoingdownstairstogetabook.IfanyoneasksmewhereIamgoing,itisdowntothelibrarytogetabookbecauseIcannotsleep.

Itwaswarm,drowsily,luxuriouslywarm.Shewentbarefootandinsilencedownthegreatstaircaseandtothelibrarydoorbeforeshethought,ButIcan'tgointhere;I'mnotallowedinthere-andrecoiledinthedoorwaybeforetheodorofdecay,whichnauseatedher."Mother,"shesaidaloud,andsteppedquicklyback."Comealong,"avoiceanswereddistinctlyupstairs,andEleanorturned,eager,andhurriedtothestaircase.

"Mother?"shesaidsoftly,andthenagain,"Mother?"Alittlesoftlaughfloateddowntoher,andsheran,breathless,upthestairsandstoppedatthetop,lookingtorightandleftalongthehallwayatthecloseddoors.

"You'reheresomewhere,"shesaid,anddownthehallthelittleechowent,slippinginawhisperonthetinycurrentsofair.

"Somewhere,"itsaid."Somewhere."

Laughing,Eleanorfollowed,runningsoundlesslydownthehalltothenurserydoorway;thecoldspotwasgone,andshelaughedupatthetwogrinningfaceslookingdownather."Areyouinhere?"shewhisperedoutsidethedoor,"areyouinhere?"andknocked,poundingwithherfists.

"Yes?"ItwasMrs.Montague,inside,clearlyjustawakened.

"Yes?Comein,whateveryouare.

No,no,Eleanorthought,huggingherselfandlaughingsilently,notinthere,notwithMrs.Montague,andslippedawaydownthehall,hearingMrs.Montaguebehindhercalling,"Iamyourfriend;Iintendyounoharm.Comeinandtellmewhatistroublingyou."

Shewon'topenherdoor,Eleanorthoughtwisely;sheisnotafraidbutshewon'topenherdoor,andknocked,pounding,againstArthur'sdoorandheardArthur'sawakeninggasp.

Dancing,thecarpetsoftunderherfeet,shecametothedoorbehindwhichTheodoraslept;faithlessTheo,shethought,cruel,laughingTheo,wakeup,wakeup,wakeup,andpoundedandslappedthedoor,laughing,andshookthedoorknobandthenranswiftlydownthehalltoLuke'sdoorandpounded;wakeup,shethought,wakeupandbefaithless.Noneofthemwillopentheirdoors,shethought;theywillsitinside,withtheblanketspressedaroundthem,shiveringandwonderingwhatisgoingtohappentothemnext;wakeup,shethought,poundingonthedoctor'sdoor;IdareyoutoopenyourdoorandcomeouttoseemedancinginthehallofHillHouse.

ThenTheodorastartledherbycallingoutwildly,"Nell?Nell?Doctor,Luke,Nell'snothere!"

Poorhouse,Eleanorthought,IhadforgottenEleanor;nowtheywillhavetoopentheirdoors,andsheranquicklydownthestairs,hearingbehindherthedoctor'svoiceraisedanxiously,andTheodoracalling,"Nell?Eleanor?"Whatfoolstheyare,shethought;nowIwillhavetogointothelibrary."Mother,Mother,"shewhispered,"Mother,"andstoppedatthelibrarydoor,sick.Behindhershecouldhearthemtalkingupstairsinthehall;funny,shethought,Icanfeelthewholehouse,andheardevenMrs.Montagueprotesting,andArthur,andthenthedoctor,clearly,"We'vegottolookforher;everyonepleasehurry."

Well,Icanhurrytoo,shethought,andrandownthecorridortothelittleparlor,wherethefireflickeredbrieflyatherwhensheopenedthedoor,andthechessmensatwhereLukeandthedoctorhadlefttheirgame.ThescarfTheodorahadbeenwearinglayacrossthebackofherchair;Icantakecareofthattoo,Eleanorthought,hermaid'spatheticfinery,andputoneendofitbetweenherteethandpulled,tearing,andthendroppeditwhensheheardthembehindheronthestairs.Theywerecomingdownalltogether,anxious,tellingoneanotherwheretolookfirst,nowandthencalling,"Eleanor?Nell?"

"Coming?Coming?"sheheardfaraway,somewhereelseinthehouse,andsheheardthestairsshakeundertheirfeetandacricketstironthelawn.Daring,gay,sherandownthecorridoragaintothehallandpeekedoutatthemfromthedoorway.Theyweremovingpurposefully,alltogether,strainingtostaynearoneanother,andthedoctor'sflashlightsweptthehallandstoppedatthegreatfrontdoor,whichwasstandingopenwide.Then,inarush,calling"Eleanor,Eleanor,"theyranalltogetheracrossthehallandoutthefrontdoor,lookingandcalling,theflashlightmovingbusily.Eleanorclungtothedoorandlaugheduntiltearscameintohereyes;whatfoolstheyare,shethought;wetrickthemsoeasily.Theyaresoslow,andsodeafandsoheavy;theytrampleoverthehouse,pokingandpeeringandrough.Sheranacrossthehallandthroughthegameroomandintothediningroomandfromthereintothekitchen,withitsdoors.It'sgoodhere,shethought,IcangoinanydirectionwhenIhearthem.Whentheycamebackintothefronthall,blunderingandcallingher,shedartedquicklyoutontotheverandaintothecoolnight.Shestoodwithherbackagainstthedoor,thelittlemistsofHillHousecurlingaroundherankles,andlookedupatthepressing,heavyhills.Gatheredcomfortablyintothehills,shethought,protectedandwarm;HillHouseislucky.

"Eleanor?"Theywereveryclose,andsheranalongtheverandaanddartedintothedrawingroom;"HughCram,"shesaid,"willyoucomeanddancewithme?"Shecurtsiedtothehugeleaningstatue,anditseyesflickeredandshoneather;littlereflectedlightstouchedthefigurinesandthegildedchairs,andshedancedgravelybeforeHughCram,whowatchedher,gleaming."Goinandoutthewindows,"shesang,andfeltherhandstakenasshedanced."Goinandoutthewindows,"andshedancedoutontotheverandaandaroundthehouse.Goingaroundandaroundandaroundthehouse,shethought,andnoneofthemcanseeme.Shetouchedakitchendoorasshepassed,andsixmilesawayMrs.Dudleyshudderedinhersleep.Shecametothetower,heldsotightlyintheembraceofthehouse,inthestraininggripofthehouse,andwalkedslowlypastitsgraystones,notallowedtotoucheventheoutside.Thensheturnedandstoodbeforethegreatdoorway;thedoorwasclosedagain,andsheputoutherhandandopenediteffortlessly.ThusIenterHillHouse,shetoldherself,andsteppedinsideasthoughitwereherown."HereIam,"shesaidaloud."I'vebeenallaroundthehouse,inandoutthewindows,andIdanced-"

"Eleanor?"ItwasLuke'svoice,andshethought,OfallofthemIwouldleastliketohaveLukecatchme;don'tlethimseeme,shethoughtbeggingly,andturnedandran,withoutstopping,intothelibrary.

AndhereIam,shethought.HereIaminside.Itwasnotcoldatall,butdeliciously,fondlywarm.Itwaslightenoughforhertoseetheironstairwaycurvingaroundandarounduptothetower,andthelittledooratthetop.Underherfeetthestonefloormovedcaressingly,rubbingitselfagainstthesolesofherfeet,andallaroundthesoftairtouchedher,stirringherhair,driftingagainstherfingers,cominginalightbreathacrosshermouth,andshedancedincircles.Nostonelionsforme,shethought,nooleanders;IhavebrokenthespellofHillHouseandsomehowcomeinside.Iamhome,shethought,andstoppedinwonderatthethought.Iamhome,Iamhome,shethought;nowtoclimb.

Climbingthenarrowironstairwaywasintoxicating-goinghigherandhigher,aroundandaround,lookingdown,clingingtotheslimironrailing,lookingfarfardownontothestonefloor.Climbing,lookingdown,shethoughtofthesoftgreengrassoutsideandtherollinghillsandtherichtrees.Lookingup,shethoughtofthetowerofHillHouserisingtriumphantlybetweenthetrees,tallovertheroadwhichwoundthroughHillsdaleandpastawhitehousesetinflowersandpastthemagicoleandersandpastthestonelionsandon,far,faraway,toalittleladywhowasgoingtoprayforher.Timeisendednow,shethought,allthatisgoneandleftbehind,andthatpoorlittlelady,prayingstill,forme.

"Eleanor!"

Foraminuteshecouldnotrememberwhotheywere(hadtheybeenguestsofhersinthehouseofthestonelions?Diningatherlongtableinthecandlelight?Hadshemetthemattheinn,overthetumblingstream?Hadoneofthemcomeridingdownagreenhill,bannersflying?Hadoneofthemrunbesideherinthedarkness?andthensheremembered,andtheyfellintoplacewheretheybelonged)andshehesitated,clingingtotherailing.Theyweresosmall,soineffectual.Theystoodfarbelowonthestonefloorandpointedather;theycalledtoher,andtheirvoiceswereurgentandfaraway.

"Luke,"shesaid,remembering.They'couldhearher,becausetheywerequietwhenshespoke."DoctorMontague,"shesaid.

"Mrs.Montague.Arthur."Shecouldnotremembertheother,whostoodsilentandalittleapart.

"Eleanor,"Dr.Montaguecalled,"turnaroundverycarefullyandcomeslowly

downthesteps.Movevery,veryslowly,Eleanor.Holdontotherailingallthetime.Nowturnandcomedown."

"Whatonearthisthecreaturedoing?"Mrs.Montaguedemanded.Herhairwasincurlers,andherbathrobehadadragononthestomach."Makehercomedownsowecangobacktobed.Arthur,makehercomedownatonce.

"Seehere,"Arthurbegan,andLukemovedtothefootofthestairwayandstartedup.

"ForGod'ssakebecareful,"thedoctorsaidasLukemovedsteadilyon."Thethingisrottedawayfromthewall."

"Itwon'tholdbothofyou,"Mrs.Montaguesaidpositively.

"You'llhaveitdownonourheads.Arthur,moveoverherenearthedoor."

"Eleanor,"thedoctorcalled,"canyouturnaroundandstartdownslowly?"

Aboveherwasonlythelittletrapdoorleadingoutontotheturret;shestoodonthelittlenarrowplatformatthetopandpressedagainstthetrapdoor,butitwouldnotmove.Futilelyshehammeredagainstitwithherfists,thinkingwildly,Makeitopen,makeitopen,orthey'llcatchme.Glancingoverhershoulder,shecouldseeLukeclimbingsteadily,aroundandaround."Eleanor,"hesaid,"standstill.Don'tmove,"andhesoundedfrightened.

Ican'tgetaway,shethought,andlookeddown;shesawonefaceclearly,andthenamecameintohermind."Theodora,"shesaid.

"Nell,doastheytellyou.Please."

"Theodora?Ican'tgetout;thedoor'sbeennailedshut."

"Damnrightit'sbeennailedshut,"Lukesaid."Andluckyforyou,too,mygirl."Climbing,comingveryslowly,hehadalmostreachedthenarrowplatform."Stayperfectlystill,"hesaid.

"Stayperfectlystill,Eleanor,"thedoctorsaid.

"Nell,"Theodorasaid."Pleasedowhattheysay."

"Why?"Eleanorlookeddownandsawthedizzyfallofthetowerbelowher,theironstairwayclingingtothetowerwalls,shakingandstrainingunderLuke'sfeet,thecoldstonefloor,thedistant,pale,staringfaces."HowcanIgetdown?"sheaskedhelplessly."Doctor-howcanIgetdown?"

"Moveveryslowly,"hesaid."DowhatLuketellsyou."

"Nell,"Theodorasaid,"don'tbefrightened.Itwillbeallright,really."

"Ofcourseitwillbeallright,"Lukesaidgrimly."Probablyitwillonlybemyneckthatgetsbroken.Holdon,Nell;I'mcomingontotheplatform.Iwanttogetpastyousoyoucangodownaheadofme."Heseemedhardlyoutofbreath,inspiteofclimbing,buthishandtrembledashereachedouttotakeholdoftherailing,andhisfacewaswet."Comeon,"hesaidsharply.

Eleanorhungback."Thelasttimeyoutoldmetogoaheadyouneverfollowed,"shesaid.

"PerhapsIwilljustpushyouovertheedge,"Lukesaid."Letyousmashdownthereonthefloor.Nowbehaveyourselfandmoveslowly;getpastmeandstartdownthestairs.Andjusthope,"headdedfuriously,"thatIcanresistthetemptationtogiveyouashove."

MeeklyshecamealongtheplatformandpressedherselfagainstthehardstonewallwhileLukemovedcautiouslypasther."Startdown,"hesaid."I'llberightbehindyou.

Precariously,theironstairwayshakingandgroaningwitheverystep,shefeltherway.Shelookedatherhandontherailing,whitebecauseshewasholdingsotight,andatherbarefeetgoingoneatatime,stepbystep,movingwithextremecare,butneverlookeddownagaintothestonefloor.Godownveryslowly,shetoldherselfoverandover,notthinkingofmorethanthestepswhichseemedalmosttobendandbucklebeneathherfeet,godownveryveryveryslowly."Steady,"Lukesaidbehindher."Takeiteasy,Nell,nothingtobeafraidof,we'realmostthere."

Involuntarily,belowher,thedoctorandTheodoraheldouttheirarms,asthoughreadytocatchherifshefell,andoncewhenEleanorstumbledandmissedastep,thehandrailwaveringassheclungtoit,Theodoragaspedandrantoholdtheendofthestairway."It'sallright,myNellie,"shesaidoverandover,

"it'sallright,it'sallright."

"Onlyalittlefarther,"thedoctorsaid.

Creeping,Eleanorslidherfeetdown,onestepafteranother,andatlast,almostbeforeshecouldbelieveit,steppedoffontothestonefloor.BehindherthestairwayrockedandclangedasLukeleapeddownthelastfewstepsandwalkedsteadilyacrosstheroomtofallagainstachairandstop,headdownandtremblingstill.Eleanorturnedandlookeduptotheinfinitelyhighlittlespotwhereshehadbeenstanding,attheironstairway,warpedandcrookedandswayingagainstthetowerwall,andsaidinasmallvoice,"Iranup.Iranupalltheway."

Mrs.MontaguemovedpurposefullyforwardfromthedoorwaywheresheandArthurhadbeenshelteringagainsttheprobablecollapseofthestairway."Doesanybodyagreewithme,"sheaskedwithgreatdelicacy,"inthinkingthatthisyoungwomanhasgivenusquiteenoughtroubletonight?I,forone,wouldliketogobacktobed,andsowouldArthur."

"HillHouse-"thedoctorbegan.

"Thischildishnonsensehasalmostcertainlydestroyedanychanceofmanifestationstonight,Icantellyou.Icertainlydonotlooktoseeanyofourfriendsfrombeyondafterthisridiculousperformance,soifyouwillallexcuseme-andifyouaresurethatyouarefinishedwithyourposturingandperformingandwakingupbusypeople-Iwillsaygoodnight.Arthur."Mrs.Montaguesweptout,dragonrampant,quiveringwithindignation.

"Lukewasscared,"Eleanorsaid,lookingatthedoctorandatTheodora.

"Lukewasmostcertainlyscared,"heagreedfrombehindher.

"Lukewassoscaredhealmostdidn'tgethimselfdownfromthere.Nell,whatanimbecileyouare."

"IwouldbeinclinedtoagreewithLuke."Thedoctorwasdispleased,andEleanorlookedaway,lookedatTheodora,andTheodorasaid,"Isupposeyouhadtodoit,Nell?"

"I'mallright,"Eleanorsaid,andcouldnotlongerlookatanyofthem.She

looked,surprised,downatherownbarefeet,realizingsuddenlythattheyhadcarriedher,unfeeling,downtheironstairway.Shethought,lookingatherfeet,andthenraisedherhead."Icamedowntothelibrarytogetabook,"shesaid.

9-2Itwashumiliating,disastrous.Nothingwassaidatbreakfast,andEleanorwas

servedcoffeeandeggsandrollsjustliketheothers.Shewasallowedtolingeroverhercoffeewiththerestofthem,observethesunlightoutside,commentuponthegooddayahead;forafewminutesshemighthavebeenpersuadedtobelievethatnothinghadhappened.Lukepassedherthemarmalade,TheodorasmiledatheroverArthur'shead,thedoctorbadehergoodmorning.Then,afterbreakfast,afterMrs.Dudley'sentranceatten,theycamewithoutcomment,followingoneanothersilently,tothelittleparlor,andthedoctortookhispositionbeforethefireplace.TheodorawaswearingEleanor'sredsweater.

"Lukewillbringyourcararound,"thedoctorsaidgently.Inspiteofwhathewassaying,hiseyeswereconsiderateandfriendly.

"Theodorawillgoupandpackforyou."

Eleanorgiggled."Shecan't.Shewon'thaveanythingtowear."

"Nell-"Theodorabegan,andstoppedandglancedatMrs.Montague,whoshruggedhershouldersandsaid,"Iexaminedtheroom.Naturally.Ican'timaginewhynoneofyouthoughttodoit."

"Iwasgoingto,"thedoctorsaidapologetically."ButIthought-"

"Youalwaysthink,John,andthat'syourtrouble.NaturallyIexaminedtheroomatonce.

"Theodora'sroom?"Lukeasked."Iwouldn'tliketogointhereagain."

Mrs.Montaguesoundedsurprised."Ican'tthinkwhynot,"shesaid."There'snothingwrongwithit."

"Iwentinandlookedatmyclothes,"Theodorasaidtothedoctor."They'reperfectlyfine."

"Theroomneedsdusting,naturally,butwhatcanyouexpectifyoulockthedoorandMrs.Dudleycannot-"

Thedoctor'svoiceroseoverhiswife's."-cannottellyouhowsorryIam,"he

wassaying."IfthereiseveranythingIcando…"

Eleanorlaughed."ButIcan'tleave,"shesaid,wonderingwheretofindwordstoexplain.

"Youhavebeenherequitelongenough,"thedoctorsaid.

Theodorastaredather."Idon'tneedyourclothes,"shesaidpatiently."Didn'tyoujusthearMrs.Montague?Idon'tneedyourclothes,andevenifIdidIwouldn'twearthemnow;Nell,you'vegottogoawayfromhere."

"ButIcan'tleave,"Eleanorsaid,laughingstillbecauseitwassoperfectlyimpossibletoexplain.

"Madam,"Lukesaidsomberly,"youarenolongerwelcomeasmyguest."

"PerhapsArthurhadbetterdriveherbacktothecity.Arthurcouldseethatshegetstheresafely."

"Getswhere?"Eleanorshookherheadatthem,feelingherlovelyheavyhairaroundherface."Getswhere?"sheaskedhappily.

"Why,"thedoctorsaid,"home,ofcourse,"andTheodorasaid,

"Nell,yourownlittleplace,yourownapartment,whereallyourthingsare,"andEleanorlaughed.

"Ihaven'tanyapartment,"shesaidtoTheodora."Imadeitup.Isleeponacotatmysister's,inthebaby'sroom.Ihaven'tanyhome,noplaceatall.AndIcan'tgobacktomysister'sbecauseIstolehercar."Shelaughed,hearingherownwords,soinadequateandsounutterablysad."Ihaven'tanyhome,"shesaidagain,andregardedthemhopefully."Nohome.Everythinginalltheworldthatbelongstomeisinacartoninthebackofmycar.That'sallIhave,somebooksandthingsIhadwhenIwasalittlegirl,andawatchmymothergaveme.Soyouseethere'snoplaceyoucansendme."

Icould,ofcourse,goonandon,shewantedtotellthem,seeingalwaystheirfrightened,staringfaces.Icouldgoonandon,leavingmyclothesforTheodora;Icouldgowanderingandhomeless,errant,andIwouldalwayscomebackhere.Itwouldbesimplertoletmestay,moresensible,shewantedtotellthem,

happier.

"Iwanttostayhere,"shesaidtothem.

"I'vealreadyspokentothesister,"Mrs.Montaguesaidimportantly."Imustsay,sheaskedfirstaboutthecar.Avulgarperson;Itoldhersheneedhavenofear.Youwereverywrong,John,toletherstealhersister'scarandcomehere."

"Mydear,"Dr.Montaguebegan,andstopped,spreadinghishandshelplessly.

"Atanyrate,sheisexpected.Thesisterwasmostannoyedatmebecausetheyhadplannedtogooffontheirvacationtoday,althoughwhysheshouldbeannoyedatme…"Mrs.MontaguescowledatEleanor."Idothinksomeoneoughttoseehersafelyintotheirhands,"shesaid.

Thedoctorshookhishead."Itwouldbeamistake,"hesaidslowly."Itwouldbeamistaketosendoneofuswithher.Shemustbeallowedtoforgeteverythingaboutthishouseassoonasshecan;wecannotprolongtheassociation.Onceawayfromhere,shewillbeherselfagain;canyoufindyourwayhome?"heaskedEleanor,andEleanorlaughed.

"I'llgoandgetthatpackingdone,"Theodorasaid."Luke,checkhercarandbringitaround;she'sonlygotonesuitcase."

"Walledupalive."Eleanorbegantolaughagainattheirstonefaces."Walledupalive,"shesaid."Iwanttostayhere."

9-3TheymadeasolidlinealongthestepsofHillHouse,guardingthedoor.

Beyondtheirheadsshecouldseethewindowslookingdown,andtoonesidethetowerwaitedconfidently.Shemighthavecriedifshecouldhavethoughtofanywayoftellingthemwhy;instead,shesmiledbrokenlyupatthehouse,lookingatherownwindow,attheamused,certainfaceofthehouse,watchingherquietly.Thehousewaswaitingnow,shethought,anditwaswaitingforher;nooneelsecouldsatisfyit."Thehousewantsmetostay,"shetoldthedoctor,andhestaredather.Hewasstandingverystiffandwithgreatdignity,asthoughheexpectedhertochoosehiminsteadofthehouse,asthough,havingbroughtherhere,hethoughtthatbyunwindinghisdirectionshecouldsendherbackagain.Hisbackwassquarelyturnedtothehouse,and,lookingathimhonestly,shesaid,"I'msorry.I'mterriblysorry,really."

"You'llgotoHillsdale,"hesaidlevelly;perhapshewasafraidofsayingtoomuch,perhapshethoughtthatakindword,orasympatheticone,mightrebounduponhimselfandbringherback.Thesunwasshiningonthehillsandthehouseandthegardenandthelawnandthetreesandthebrook;Eleanortookadeepbreathandturned,seeingitall."InHillsdaleturnontoRouteFivegoingeast;atAshtonyouwillmeetRouteThirty-nine,andthatwilltakeyouhome.Foryourownsafety,"headdedwithakindofurgency,"foryourownsafety,mydear;believeme,ifIhadforeseenthis-"

"I'mreallyterriblysorry,"shesaid.

"Wecan'ttakechances,youknow,anychances.IamonlybeginningtoperceivewhataterribleriskIwasaskingofyouall.Now…"Hesighedandshookhishead."You'llremember?"heasked."ToHillsdale,andthenRouteFive-"

"Look."Eleanorwasquietforaminute,wantingtotellthemallexactlyhowitwas."Iwasn'tafraid,"shesaidatlast."Ireallywasn'tafraid.I'mfinenow.Iwas-happy."Shelookedearnestlyatthedoctor."Happy,"shesaid."Idon'tknowwhattosay,"shesaid,afraidagainthatshewasgoingtocry."Idon'twanttogoawayfromhere."

"Theremightbeanexttime,"thedoctorsaidsternly."Can'tyouunderstandthatwecannottakethatchance?"

Eleanorfaltered."Someoneisprayingforme,"shesaidfoolishly."AladyImetalongtimeago.

Thedoctor'svoicewasgentle,buthetappedhisfootimpatiently."Youwillforgetallofthisquitesoon,"hesaid."YoumustforgeteverythingaboutHillHouse.Iwassowrongtobringyouhere,"hesaid.

"Howlonghavewebeenhere?"Eleanoraskedsuddenly.

"Alittleoveraweek.Why?"

"It'stheonlytimeanything'severhappenedtome.Ilikedit."

"That,"saidthedoctor,"iswhyyouareleavinginsuchahurry."

Eleanorclosedhereyesandsighed,feelingandhearingandsmellingthehouse;afloweringbushbeyondthekitchenwasheavywithscent,andthewaterinthebrookmovedsparklingoverthestones.Faraway,upstairs,perhapsinthenursery,alittleeddyofwindgathereditselfandsweptalongthefloor,carryingdust.Inthelibrarytheironstairwayswayed,andlightglitteredonthemarbleeyesofHughGrain;Theodora'syellowshirthungneatandunstained,Mrs.Dudleywassettingthelunchtableforfive.HillHousewatched,arrogantandpatient."Iwon'tgoaway,"Eleanorsaiduptothehighwindows.

"Youwillgoaway,"thedoctorsaid,showinghisimpatienceatlast."Rightnow."

Eleanorlaughed,andturned,holdingoutherhand."Luke,"shesaid,andhecametowardher,silent."Thankyouforbringingmedownlastnight,"shesaid."Thatwaswrongofme.Iknowitnow,andyouwereverybrave."

"Iwasindeed,"Lukesaid."Itwasanactofcouragefarsurpassinganyotherinmylife.AndIamgladtoseeyougoing,Nell,becauseIwouldcertainlyneverdoitagain."

"Well,itseemstome,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,"ifyou'regoingyou'dbettergetonwithit.I'venoquarrelwithsayinggood-by,althoughIpersonallyfeelthatyou'veallgotanexaggeratedviewofthisplace,butIdothinkwe'vegotbetterthingstodothanstandherearguingwhenweallknowyou'vegottogo.You'llbeatimeasitis,gettingbacktothecity,andyoursisterwaitingtogoonher

vacation."

Arthurnodded."Tearfulfarewells,"hesaid."Don'tholdwiththem,myself."

Faraway,inthelittleparlor,theashdroppedsoftlyinthefireplace."John,"Mrs.Montaguesaid,"possiblyitwouldbebetterifArthur-"

"No,"thedoctorsaidstrongly."Eleanorhastogobackthewayshecame."

"AndwhodoIthankforalovelytime?"Eleanorasked.

Thedoctortookherbythearmand,withLukebesideher,ledhertohercarandopenedthedoorforher.Thecartonwasstillonthebackseat,hersuitcasewasonthefloor,hercoatandpocketbookontheseat;Lukehadleftthemotorrunning."Doctor,"Eleanorsaid,clutchingathim,"Doctor."

"I'msorry,"hesaid."Good-by."

"Drivecarefully,"Lukesaidpolitely.

"Youcan'tjustmakemego,"shesaidwildly."Youbroughtmehere."

"AndIamsendingyouaway,"thedoctorsaid."Wewon'tforgetyou,Eleanor.ButrightnowtheonlyimportantthingforyouistoforgetHillHouseandallofus.Good-by."

"Good-by,"Mrs.Montaguesaidfirmlyfromthesteps,andArthursaid,"Good-by,haveagoodtrip."

ThenEleanor,herhandonthedoorofthecar,stoppedandturned."Theo?"shesaidinquiringly,andTheodorarandownthestepstoher.

"Ithoughtyouweren'tgoingtosaygood-bytome,"shesaid.

"Oh,Nellie,myNell-behappy;pleasebehappy.Don'treallyforgetme;somedaythingsreallywillbeallrightagain,andyou'llwritemelettersandI'llanswerandwe'llvisiteachotherandwe'llhavefuntalkingoverthecrazythingswedidandsawandheardinHillHouse-oh,Nellie!Ithoughtyouweren'tgoingtosaygoodbyetome.

"Good-by,"Eleanorsaidtoher.

"Nellie,"Theodorasaidtimidly,andputoutahandtotouchEleanor'scheek,"listen-maybesomedaywecanmeethereagain?Andhaveourpicnicbythebrook?Weneverhadourpicnic,"shetoldthedoctor,andheshookhishead,lookingatEleanor.

"Good-by,"EleanorsaidtoMrs.Montague,"good-by,Arthur.Good-by,Doctor.Ihopeyourbookisverysuccessful.Luke,"shesaid,"good-by.Andgood-by."

"Nell,"Theodorasaid,"pleasebecareful."

"Good-by,"Eleanorsaid,and,slidintothecar;itfeltunfamiliarandawkward;IamtoousedalreadytothecomfortsofHillHouse,shethought,andremindedherselftowaveahandfromthecarwindow."Good-by,"shecalled,wonderingiftherehadeverbeenanotherwordforhertosay,"good-by,good-by."Clumsily,herhandsfumbling,shereleasedthebrakeandletthecarmoveslowly.

Theywavedbackatherdutifully,standingstill,watchingher.Theywillwatchmedownthedriveasfarastheycansee,shethought;itisonlycivilforthemtolookatmeuntilIamoutofsight;sonowIamgoing.Journeysendinloversmeeting.ButIwon'tgo,shethought,andlaughedaloudtoherselfHillHouseisnotaseasyastheyare;justbytellingmetogoawaytheycan'tmakemeleave,notifHillHousemeansmetostay."Goaway,Eleanor,"shechantedaloud,"goaway,Eleanor,wedon'twantyouanymore,notinourHillHouse,goaway,Eleanor,youcan'tstayhere;butIcan,"shesang,"butIcan;theydon'tmaketherulesaroundhere.Theycan'tturnmeoutorshutmeoutorlaughatmeorhidefromme;Iwon'tgo,andHillHousebelongstome."

Withwhatsheperceivedasquickclevernessshepressedherfootdownhardontheaccelerator;theycan'trunfastenoughtocatchmethistime,shethought,butbynowtheymustbebeginningtorealize;Iwonderwhonoticesfirst?Luke,almostcertainly.Icanhearthemcallingnow,shethought,andthelittlefootstepsrunningthroughHillHouseandthesoftsoundofthehillspressingcloser.Iamreallydoingit,shethought,turningthewheeltosendthecardirectlyatthegreattreeatthecurveofthedriveway,Iamreallydoingit,Iamdoingthisallbymyself,now,atlast;thisisme,Iamreallyreallyreallydoingitbymyself.

Intheunending,crashingsecondbeforethecarhurledintothetreeshe

thoughtclearly,WhyamIdoingthis?WhyamIdoingthis?Whydon'ttheystopme?

9-4Mrs.SandersonwasenormouslyrelievedtohearthatDr.Montagueandhis

partyhadleftHillHouse;shewouldhaveturnedthemout,shetoldthefamilylawyer,ifDr.Montaguehadshownanysignofwantingtostay.Theodora'sfriend,mollifiedandcontrite,wasdelightedtoseeTheodorabacksosoon;LuketookhimselfofftoParis,wherehisauntferventlyhopedhewouldstayforawhile.Dr.Montaguefinallyretiredfromactivescholarlypursuitsafterthecool,almostcontemptuousreceptionofhispreliminaryarticleanalyzingthepsychicphenomenaofHillHouse.HillHouseitself,notsane,stoodagainstitshills,holdingdarknesswithin;ithadstoodsoforeightyyearsandmightstandforeightymore.Within,itswallscontinuedupright,bricksmetneatly,floorswerefirm,anddoorsweresensiblyshut;silencelaysteadilyagainstthewoodandstoneofHillHouse,andwhateverwalkedthere,walkedalone.

TheEndThisfilewascreatedwithBookDesignerprogram

bookdesigner@the-ebook.org

7/13/2010

LRStoLRFparserv.0.9;MikhailSharonov,2006;msh-tools.com/ebook/

TableofContents-Contents-Chapter11-21-31-41-5Chapter22-2Chapter33-23-33-43-5Chapter44-24-34-44-54-6Chapter55-25-35-4Chapter66-26-3Chapter77-27-37-4Chapter88-28-38-48-5

8-68-78-8Chapter99-29-39-4

TableofContents-Contents-Chapter11-21-31-41-5Chapter22-2Chapter33-23-33-43-5Chapter44-24-34-44-54-6Chapter55-25-35-4Chapter66-26-3Chapter77-27-37-4Chapter88-28-38-48-5

8-68-78-8Chapter99-29-39-4