NKC TRIBUNE ♦ THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 B3

Sigfried Tallymaker toiled late intothe night, his pointy ears wiggling hap-pily in time to the Christmas carolsbroadcast throughout the North Pole,inventorying everything Boss Clauswould need for The Big Night mereweeks away. Two billion rolls of wrap-ping paper, check. One 3X red suitcleaned and pressed, check. Nine rein-deer (counting Rudy), check. Four hun-dred jars of Magic No. 9 Mine CoalDust, ch…. er, OH NO!! Sigfried fran-tically peered into the solitary sootyold apothecary jar. Nearly empty!

Sprinting as fast as his little legscould carry him, Sigfried burst intoClaus’ office, all out of breath, shout-ing, “Boss! *pant, pant* The dust!*pant, pant* All. Gone! *pant, pant*”

“Slow down my old friend,” the portlygentleman seated behind the ginger-bread desk patiently said with a jollychuckle. “Tell me what has happened.”A few minutes later, even Santalooked a little pale. “Call the Mayorof Cle Elum and Pointyshoe.”

That’s when they called me, SamPointyshoe. I head up the ELF.B.I.(Yes, the ELF Bureau of Investiga-tion.) The biggest case of my career,bigger than the toy shortage of 1952or the great candy cane debacle of2003, started with a crash landing ofthe sleigh near our target destinationCle Elum, Washington.

It looked like the remaining residuesof the No. 9 Dust would get usthere, but on the descent, Blitzensnorted in alarm as the reserves ranout two stories above the ground andwe suddenly began to fall from thesky. Thanks to some fancy navigation

by Mr. C. and rehearsed emergencyfootwork by all the reindeer, thesleigh touched down on one runner ina deep cushion of snow and slidacross a pasture, jolting to a roughstop in Ellensburg, about 25 miles offcourse. Santa looked a little dazedfrom a bump on the head, the sleighwas missing a runner, and my stomachwas doing flip flops from the rapiddrop in altitude, but otherwise every-one was okay.

A highly guarded secret known toonly a handful of Santa’s closest as-sociates, the rare Magic No. 9 MineCoal Dust, when sprinkled over thenine reindeer, not only fuels theirpower of flight, but the sooty black-ness also provides a natural cloakingmechanism to conceal the flyingsleigh in the night sky to ensure theelement of Christmas morning sur-prise. The eons of time trapped inthe fossil fuel is released instanta-neously, making it possible to encirclethe entire globe in a single night, too.

But not just any old coal dust will do.The magical properties only exist incertain pockets of the appropriatelynamed No. 9 Mine running below theground off Bullfrog Road. Just priorto that last Upper Kittitas Countymine’s closing in 1963, stockpiles ofthe stuff were hoarded away in aNorth Pole warehouse. But the re-maining stash had gone missing. Andit was up to me and my trusty agentMindy Mintycane to find the goods.

The first order of business was toassess the damage from the crash.“Report please, Tallymaker,” Clausshouted with a slightly dizzy laugh.The stockroom elf and several others

peered out nervously from the Im-possible Capacity toy sack in the backof the cattywampus sleigh. “Yes sir,right away sir,” he stammered as hecrawled out and made quick work ofsorting mission critical problems fromminor boo boos. “Well Boss, the rightrunner is busted beyond repair andwill need replacement, the GPS isfried and your seat cracked fromthe, er, impact. The toy sack has amedium present sized tear.Pointyshoe is looking a little greenerthan usual, and you sir, with all duerespect, have a bump on your nogginto rival the golden goose egg Christ-mas present you picked out for theMissus last year.”

“Well what are you waiting for,Christmas?” I barked at the en-tourage of elves and reindeer tobreak them out of their frozenshock. Somebody had to take chargeof the situation. I quickly scribbledout assignments on scraps of wrap-ping paper for the elves based on thedamage report, “Get started on yourtasks while Mindy gets a jump onsolving our case. You’re with me Boss.We need to get you patched up.”

“Ho ho oh-kay, okay, but I’m fine, soonly after we get the reindeer bed-ded down and fed first,” Claus saidmerrily, as he affectionately pattedRudy’s head while the frisky deernuzzled his coat pocket looking forgingerbread treats that were usuallywaiting there. I could tell there wouldbe no arguing with The Claus on thispoint. Experience told me he could bestubborn in the most aggravatinglycheery way at times, so if I everwanted to find out what happened tothat magic coal dust, I was going to

need to figure out how to care forthe deer, and fast.

While I was pondering it, I heard thedistinctive “Santa Claus is Coming toTown” ringtone that I’d know any-where. “Yes-yes, Phil, you are a verygood boy, ho, ho, ho, I’ll see you in afew minutes.” Before I could ask, asmiling man pulled up in a brand newsleigh-red Ford F-150 pickup truck. Aglance at the Kelleher Motor Com-pany dealer tags, and my deductivereasoning put two and two togetherto realize the driver handing Mr. Cthe keys was none other than PhilKelleher himself.

“Okay boys,” Claus shouted with awhistle to the reindeer, “load up!” Isnagged the keys. No way was I let-ting him drive in that condition. Iwould never hear the end of it from(the REAL boss), Mrs. C. Tallymakerand a couple of the elves climbed upinto the roomy SuperCrew cab.

“We’re going over to Knudson Lum-ber,” Tinker Fixy, our best carpenterelf, piped in. Fortunately our unsched-uled landing was within a stone’s throwof the lumberyard. “I checked theirwebsite on my phone and confirmedthat they have the wood, tools andyour favorite shade of red barn paintto fix the seat.” Tallymaker chimed in,“Maybe ask Kari Shelley if she hassome suggestions to reinforce thatseat better with milk and cookie sea-son coming soon,” winking towards hisold friend who took the good naturedribbing with a chuckle, of course. Itwas a long running joke that spannedthe centuries and never seemed togrow old between them.

(continued on page B4)

Second Time AroundWomen’s Clothing Upscale Resale & Exchange

717 E. First St. • Cle Elum • 509-674-6945 • OPEN: Wed-Sat, 10am-5pm • Sun, 11am-4pm

Make any Purchase over $15Now thru Dec. 24

and enter for a chance to

WIN A PURSE!

Check out our new shipment of

UGLY CHRISTMASSWEATERS!

Shop our selection of

Clothing • Shoes • JacketsPurses • Jewelry • AccessoriesCasual to Fancy & in between, Sizes 0 - 3X

Fashionable Winter Wear & Cozy Angora Socks

Purses &Paracord Bracelets

Gift Certificatesfor that special lady in your life.

I, however, was not as patient. Thatmissing Dust wasn’t going to find it-self! I hoped Mindy was having betterluck tracking down clues. As if on cue,just then my own phone buzzed.Mindy’s sugary sweet high-pitchedvoice chimed in on the other end ofthe line. “I’ve made it over to CleElum sir. My accountant Harold B.Iverson, CPA gave me a ride, and re-minded me I could deduct this tripfrom my taxes as a business expenseduring the drive. He also mentionedthat his father Hans’ skis just wenton display at a local museum here. Re-member they used to have a ski jumpin Cle Elum back in the coal miningheyday in the 1920s and we used towatch the competitions when wecame to pick up the magical coaldust? Well, there seems to be a con-nection, so maybe the skis will give usa clue about what happened to thedust. I’m going to check it out. I re-member seeing an article about theski jump in the local newspaper, so I’llswing by the Northern KittitasCounty Tribune office to lookthrough their archives before head-ing over to the museum. Oh, and bythe way, he said you could bed downthe reindeer at his barn up on PeohPoint. I’m texting you the directionsnow.”

Well Frosty’s eyes, we were finallygetting somewhere on this mystery!

Before jumping on I-90 to head overto Cle Elum, St. Nick insisted thatwe swing by Old Mill Country Storeto pick up some feed for the reindeermilling in the bed of the pickup. Flyingalways leaves them famished. Like akid in the candy store, Blitzen hun-grily pointed his nose at bags of oatsand sweet feed and tapped his hoofon his favorite seasoning, a savorymineralized salt block. Becky Mc-Dowell helped us pick out somerugged coats for the work team backat the sleigh and set them aside.With all the bags of feed loaded inthe back with the happy deer, whowere leaning into the wind like theywere able to fly again, we hit theroad. Soon after, they were settledin at the barn and happily munchingaway.

We headed downtown where wecaught our first glimpses of theflurry of activity of the town gettingready for its big annual Christmas inCle Elum festivities. We waved at Vi-sion Cle Elum director Kerri Farnumas she guided the hanging of a light-post wreath with one hand and talkedon her cell phone with the other. Shepaused long enough to wave back andflash us a signature huge smile, be-fore going back to multi-tasking thepreparations.

Mindy texted again that she foundthe perfect undercover disguise tofit in. “At Second Time Around con-signment shop. Saw a poster forRoslyn’s 1st Annual Ugly ChristmasSweater Jamboree coming up thisweekend. Spoke with Laura Master-son here at the shop and she said shejust got in a whole new shipment ofChristmas sweaters! The hardestpart is picking one out! They’re soadorable I might have to get somefor the rest of the lady elves, too.Don’t tell them, want it to be a sur-prise. And oh look at the great priceon this lovely A-list gown, shoes andbag for the North Pole ExtravaganzaBall. I’ll be back for them once wesolve this case.” I was rememberinghow she nimbly floated across thedance floor at last year’s post-pro-duction wrap party when I snappedback to focusing on the tasks athand.

Despite his assurances that he wasjust fine, Santa was beginning to looka little woozy. I wanted to get theClauster checked out, for my peaceof mind if nothing else. As we walkedinto the KVH Urgent Care – CleElum the big comforting fireplace inthe lobby reminded us of home andimmediately put us at ease. When hisname was called, Santa was relaxedand insisted, “I’m in good hands withthese medical professionals; now gofind the answers my boy, we needthat dust! Tallymaker will stay withme. You go meet that smart Minty-cane at that museum.”

I jumped in the truck with one of theother elves riding shotgun, using myphone app to navigate us down the hillto Billings Street, and over to ThirdStreet to find the Carpenter HouseMuseum and Gallery where Mindywas questioning local historical soci-ety officer Charlene Kauzlarich.“Pointyshoe,” she called over to me,“we examined Hans’ skis up on thethird floor exhibit. There weretraces of the magic dust on them. Wehad to use our instruments to detectit however, as it was activated intofull conceal mode. Something in this

museum was affecting it. I askedMrs. Kauzlarich here if anything wasanything unusual or out of place andshe said this music box had justshown up on top of the piano.” WhenI opened the ornate carved woodenbox, skaters on a frozen pond glidedalong to the Walking in a WinterWonderland tune. “I’m getting magi-cal readings off the charts and thisreceipt from a local secondhand storewas found inside sir,” Mindy reported.We had our next clue!

As we were returning to the truck, Igot a text from Tinker back at thesleigh. “Seat repaired :) Called aroundfor replacement runner parts. Got alead to talk to a nice guy namedChuck. He should be calling you soon.”The phone rang a few seconds later,and the voice on the other end saidhis name was Chuck Wallick withMountain Auto Parts here in CleElum, and that he might be able tohelp us. Their NAPA parts storedidn’t get much call for sleigh partsthese days, but he had noticed somein the back of a farm truck when hewas checking the battery for a guywho had come in for help last week.He had called the farmer, who agreedto meet up with us at a local coffeeshop. I dropped Mindy off to talk tothe thrift store owner while I droveout to the east end of Cle Elum.

In the parking lot outside of Gunnar’sBistro, I quickly spotted the pickupwith a perfect sleigh runner in theback. I was more than ready for a cupof Joe by this point, and coffeeshops are a great place to get leadsfrom locals, so this unplanned stopcould really pay off. I went inside andthe aroma of fresh brewed coffeehit me right away. I had a hard timedeciding between all the flavors likePeppermint Bark and Snowflake, butchose a Pumpkin Pie spice flavoredcoffee. Seated near the back was aman in overalls waving to catch myeye. While we were working out thedeal on the runner, a woman at anearby table saw my ears and askedif I had been to a lumberyard nearthe I-90 interchange earlier in theweek. I replied that I hadn’t, but whydid she ask? Turns out she had seensomeone of my stature and distinc-tive ear shape ahead of her in linethere. Hmmm, nothing was scheduledon the books, so what would an elf bedoing in Cle Elum?

Maybe this mysterious visit hadsomething to do with the magic coaldust’s disappearance. I scribbled thispossible lead into my trusty note-book, finished making the deal forthe runner, and loaded it up in thetruck, and called Tallymaker to checkin on Boss Claus.

Tallymaker said Santa had been re-leased but they hitched a ride froman old friend to the Cle Elum Bakeryto replenish his pockets with choco-

late chip cookie treats for the rein-deer. You see, Claus has been comingto this bakery since the brick oven,which has never cooled, was firstfired up over a century ago. Heclearly remembered the pride he feltat the coming of age milestone whenIvan Osmonovich first scratched hisname on one of the bricks in 1961 as afull-fledged baker, an old tradition inthe family bakery in which he hadgrown up. Claudia Osmonovich winkedat Tallymaker as she dropped some-thing in the bag with the cookies. Itturned out to be a packet with aSeahawks 12th Man decoratedcookie and a note from Ivan, but all itsaid was, “Across the street, punch-ing this is the key to drumming up aclue.”

Sigfried took a picture of the noteand cookie on his elfone and texted itover to me. After I left the coffeeshop, I drove back down First Street,and pulled into the bakery to pick up

Claus and Tallymaker. I looked acrossthe street where Owens Meats hadinstalled the first meat vending ma-chine in the region. I pondered thenote, punching this, punching this …and what did the cookie have to dowith drumming up a … wait a minute!Twelve drummers drumming, the 12thMan, did it have something to do withthe number 12? I walked over andtook a closer look at the vending ma-chine. The jerky, pepperoni and othermeat snacks looked tasty and mystomach was growling, so I put in mymoney and went to punch in my selec-tion, and froze. That’s it! Punch innumber 12! When I punched in thesequence of one then two, the packetof spicy pepperoni fell to the tray.Taped to the back of it was a keytied to a tag that said simply “KF.”

KF. KF. KF. Hmm, I pulled out myphone to look up KF in our Elf.B.I.database, when the screen wentblank. No, no, no, no, not now. Ilooked around for the rest of theelves only to find them lined up infront of the meat vending machinetaking Elfies to post on Glitter, ourNorth Pole social media site. “C’monguys” I barked, my patience withtheir silly antics growing thin, some-one get me a phone.”

Tapping around the screen of theborrowed elfone, I found a K & FStorage off Oakes Street. I calledthe managers who met us there. Westared at the thirty blue units ofvarying sizes, wondering where tostart. Claus handed me the 12th Mancookie. With a shrug I approachedunit #12 and tried the key. It stuckat first, and I nearly gave up, whenthe internal tumblers suddenlyturned and the lock fell open. When Ipulled up the door, we all peered inwith anticipation of what it mighthold. The 10’x24’ space was packednearly full with mining equipment,sturdy timbers, lanterns, and a mapof the No. 9 Coal Mine. Alright! Thetiniest elf, Pippy, squeezed in andsearched the scene for additionalclues, coming back with a businesscard for a mining supply store in thearea. “Good work, Pippy!” I said withgenuine gusto. My Merry Elf Coachwould be proud, for once.

I went to text Mintycane … and real-ized my stupid phone was still deaderthan a Christmas goose. This wouldnot do. A passerby gave me directionsto Intermountain RadioShack indowntown Cle Elum. Turned out myphone was beyond repair, likely dam-aged in the blasted crash, but TimiMaloney was able to hook me up witha fancy new smart phone – much nicerthan my standard issue agency phone,and even got my contact list andother info transferred over. Whilewaiting, I found a new GPS for thesleigh and a few other gadgets thatwould come in handy. Timi showed meall the features of my new phone, and

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS IN CLE ELUM CAPER 2015B4 THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 ♦ NKC TRIBUNE

Sam PointyshoeELF.B.I. Director

Mindy MintycaneELF.B.I. Agent

we were back in business! I dialedMindy’s number. No answer. Just hervoicemail. That wasn’t like her.

I sped over to the last place I hadseen her, Attic Treasures ThriftStore. When I showed around Minty-cane’s photo on my snazzy new phone,shop owner, Ela Gronostalski saidthat yes, she had seen the lovely girlin the picture. Hmmm, Mindy ispretty, isn’t she, I thought to myself.Shaking my head of non-professionalthoughts, I asked Gronostalski ifMindy, er, Mintycane had found any-thing that might have led to her dis-appearance. She showed me awell-worn book of Christmas carolsthat my associate had been lookingat, as it had been in a box of itemsdropped off by the short fellow whoalso bought the merchandise on thereceipt found inside the music box.An aged Milwaukee Road train ticketfell from the book as I flippedthrough the pages. Handwrittenacross the back was a name, “MelFaudree, conductor”. Ela said shethought that Mary and Doug over atthe bed and breakfast knew a lotabout train employees.

Boss Claus had told us all storiesabout the historic railroad bunkhousethat is now the Iron Horse Inn Bed& Breakfast across the Yakima Riverdown in South Cle Elum, so I thoughtI’d check it out in person. InnkeepersMary and Doug Pittis greeted uswith a warm smile and some of Doug’sfresh baked muffins. Turns out thatall the rooms in the bunkhouse arenamed after former Milwaukee Rail-road crewman who had bunked there.But when we asked about Mel Fau-dree, the Pittis’ took us outside. Asemi-circle of genuine caboose carsline the yard. Entering the MilwaukeeCaboose, the one dedicated to theconductor scrawled on the old ticket,Mary told us that the last occupantof the renovated car looked a littlelike me. A thorough search of thecozy rooms revealed a small coaldust-stained envelope tucked in be-hind the train picture on the wallabove the bed. Inside was whatlooked like a mailbox key and a smalltoy elk, but no sign of Mintycane.

“Isn’t the elk also known as ‘wapiti’,derived from the Shawnee and Creeword for ‘white rump’ sir?” Tally-maker interjected.

“Why yes it is, you may be on tosomething Sigfried!” I replied. “Didn’twe drive by a place in Cle Elum withthat name on First Street?”

Pippy giggled, “White rump?”

“No! Wapiti,” I shouted, losing myMerry Coach points already, “Let’sgo!”

“He’s making a list, and checking ittwice,” sang Santa’s merry ringtoneagain. “Thanks Rich, we’ll be rightover,” Claus laughed into the phone.“My prescription from my trip to theclinic is ready, could you drop us offon your way, pretty please with agumdrop on top Pointyshoe?” Santaasked me.

Leaving him and Tallymaker at thecurb, I headed down to Wapiti Of-fice, which houses a bank of privatemailboxes. We located the mediumsized box that corresponded with ourkey. The small brown paper packagetied up with Christmas tree greenstring was surprisingly hefty for itssize. We asked at the front desk ifanyone had seen Mintycane, againshowing the photo on my phone, myfavorite one with her big green eyestwinkling happily after she success-fully completed her agency trainingcertification. Shop owner Gary Ham-mons said they hadn’t seen her, butthat they could help us make somecolor flyers with her photo to put uparound town. What a great idea! Ileft the elf brigade to work on theprinting and distribution of the “Have

you seen me?” flyers, and went backto pick up Santa.

Sitting in the truck outside thedowntown drugstore, I pulled thestring off the package. The wrap-pings fell away to reveal a snow globewith a miniature North Pole scene in-side, and a folded up sale mailer froma local general store with a wholeannex devoted to Christmas.

I had time on my hands, so I re-viewed my notes and remembered thelumberyard connection. I tapped intoour search engine, GIGGLE, and soonhad the number for Marson & Mar-son Lumber, Inc. I identified myselfand explained that I had a lead that amale with elven features and of achild-like height had been seen shop-ping there. I was transferred to KenMarson, president of the 60-year-oldfamily owned lumberyard and hard-ware company, who was happy to helpwith our investigation. “We did have agentleman asking what kind of tim-bers would be best for shoring up amine,” Marson said. He went on to de-scribe how the knowledgeable crewquickly narrowed down the large se-lection of woods on hand to the bestchoice and the order was loaded upon one of the distinctive turquoise-blue Marson fleet trucks and deliv-ered to an abandoned mine site. Ithanked Ken for his help, and hung upthe phone, adding the number to myfavorites for future reference.

Still in the truck, looking at my watchagain, I wondered what was takingthem so long in the drugstore?

Come to think of it, my stomach wasstill a little queasy from the roughlanding, so maybe I should go insideCle Elum Drug and get something forthat anyway. I saw a Santa hat on theother side of the left shelf, but whenI went around to get him, it turned

out to be pharmacist Rich Grillowearing a Santa hat, inspecting theChristmas cards in the greeting carddisplay. “You Pointyshoe?” Grilloasked with a big grin. I told him Iwas, and he said he had a messagefrom Mr. C. He told me to find Minty-cane I should “find Mintycane”, with aknowing nod towards the card rack. Ididn’t have time for this, but if thebig guy ordered it, what could I do?As Rich went off to get me somethingto calm my belly, I began scanning therows and rows of cards – from onesfor wives and husbands, aunts andfriends, to mushy serious ones, togoofy funny ones. Caught myselflaughing at a particularly humorousmessage thinking Mindy would likethis one, when I looked back at thefront again. It was a cartoon of acute little lady elf standing under themistletoe. Mistletoe, mistletoe,where could I find that? Wait aminute, that Christmas store!

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, Claushad sent Tallymaker down the streeton an errand, and snuck across thestreet to Country Ladies TradingCompany. I later learned that heasked Robbin Ahles to help him pickout a special gift for Mrs. Claus.Every present we produce is a groupeffort as thousands of elves are in-volved in the planning, shopping formaterials and specialty items, wrap-ping and delivery. All but one that is.The danged elves can’t resist LadyClaus’ milk and cookies and just startblabbing. Boss learned eons ago thathe had to take advantage of momentslike this to get her that one surpriseeach year. Was it a trendy pair ofjeans with fancy embroidery on thepockets? A new perfume or handbag?A “12” t-shirt to support her favoritefootball team? Who knows?! Robbin’snot telling any elves on Santa’s strictorders. Really, even me? I’m trusted

with international mission secrets,but not this? *Sigh* So I guess I’llfind out Christmas morning witheveryone else.

I may, or may not, have been sulking alittle bit when Claus and Tallymakerfinally climbed up into the idlingtruck. “Report Tallymaker,” Bosscalled out to the back of the cab. “Iwent down to see Rachel Bennett atFarmers Insurance down the streetlike you asked, sir,” Sigfried an-swered, just a bit winded. “She saidto tell you not to worry, that the ac-cident is fully covered, including anyproperty damage. They’re even takingcare of towing the sled to the shopand sent a rental car to bring overthe rest of the crew.” Santa replied,“That’s great news! Did you thank herfor insisting that the reindeer takethat emergency landing safety classand ask her if they are eligible forthe pet insurance policy?” Tallymakerlooked a little uncomfortable as heconfessed that in the rush he hadforgotten, but would be sure to re-member next time. “No worries myold friend! I needed you back herewith us, and you got the importantstuff taken care of with Rachel.”

Pulling into the parking lot betweenCle Elum Farm and Home and itsChristmas Annex Store, Santa no-ticed the nice hay and straw outfront and sent the elves to go getsome fresh bedding and forage forthe reindeer. The rest of us headedtowards the Annex, which immedi-ately reminded us of a piece of home,Cle Elum’s very own North Pole. Tak-ing the North Pole snow globe out ofmy pocket, I shook it up and realizedthat I had discovered the connection– the North Pole. I gazed around atthe forest of fresh cut trees andwreaths as well as those crafted foruse year after year. Now where would

(CONTINUED ON PAGE B6)

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS IN CLE ELUM CAPER 2015NKC TRIBUNE ♦ THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 B5

“Elfies”

the mistletoe be? I pondered. It washard to stay focused with all the dis-tracting decorations symbolic of thetime of year we live for everywherewe looked. We gawked at ornaments,Christmas village pieces, wrappings,lights and … and, what was that overthe doorway to the back? The littlewhite berries emitted rays of hopeand anticipation, as they have forcenturies. Racing towards it, I peeredaround hopefully anticipating seeingMindy, er, Agent Mintycane. What Ifound instead was Max Keeton hold-ing a dainty Mindy-sized lady elfshoe, scratching his head wonderinghow that got there. “Hey Santa, don’tforget you’re slated for photos Sat-urday,” Max shouted as we left thestore with the shoe, “and can youguys pick up the chair at the furni-ture shop?” What chair? Oh we’ll fig-ure that out later. Right now we hadenough cookies on our plate.

Close inspection showed somethingwritten on the shoe, but it was toosmall and sparkly to decipher withthe naked eye. And was that asmudge of coal dust? Our magicalAgency magnifying glass would clearit up in two shakes of Donner’s tail,but it was seriously cracked in thecrash and a new one would need to becrafted. I consulted the Elf.B.I.database again on my phone, andfound a glass shop in nearby Roslynthat showed promise.

Just past the roundabout on SR903,

I dropped the elf help group off atthe mining company to see what theycould learn about our storage unitfindings. Santa, Tallymaker and I pro-ceeded to the NWIC (Old CompanyStore from the coal mining days)building in Roslyn, home to Fused, anartisan shop filled with a dizzyingarray of brightly colored glass ob-jects, from practical to fanciful.Owner Tony Davey was finishing upteaching a glass ornament-makingclass near the back of the shop.When the smiling students left withtheir projects proudly in hand, Tonyasked what he could do for us. Tally-maker pulled an ancient scroll out ofhis leather satchel and showed Tonythe secret plans for crafting a candycane-framed magnifying glass, knownin olden times as a Glass of Seeing.Mr. Davey easily intertwined heatedlengths of red and white coloredglass and looped them around to formthe candy cane frame. The customlens was going to take some time, sohe suggested we sample a snack fromacross the way while we waited.

Walking into Roslyn Candy Co., werealized what a good recommendationit was. Alesha and Otto introducedus to their impressive selection ofchocolate truffles and other candies.I opted for the Salted Caramel PecanPralines. Sigfried picked the North-ern Exposure inspired Chocolate‘Moose’ Pops. Santa has a soft spotfor marshmallows, and these hand-made ones dipped in chocolate made

him grin like a little kid, well, in acandy store. While we happilymunched on our sweet treats, Tally-maker dropped a quarter from ourchange, which rolled across the floorto a trap door that we hadn’t noticedbefore. “Where does that go?” Iasked in the most professional way Icould muster around a mouthful ofchewy caramel goodness. “Oh, it’swhere we mine the special Roslyncoal candy for Santa,” Alesha saidwith a wink. Claus didn’t confirm ordeny the claim. He just popped an-other marshmallow and led the wayback to pick up the Glass of Seeing.

Tallymaker scooped up a handful ofsnow from the top of the Coal MinersMemorial wall and sprinkled it overthe lens of the newly made magnifier.While the No. 9 Mine’s magic coaldust conceals, under the right condi-tions Roslyn’s coal-linked snow re-veals. The detective glass began toglow with a snowflake blue-tintedlight. I held the magnifier to my eyeand examined the petite shoe. Thesparkles dispersed, and the lettersrearranged themselves into a read-able message: “To follow the CardinalRule of Upper County Eating, followyour nose to find the path to the hotbath.” Okay, now these riddles aregetting harder. It was kind of funnyto see so many usually jolly facesscrunched up in concentration, themental wheels turning almost visibly.

Okay, time to put my detective train-ing to use. “Let’s start with the easi-est part – eating! Tallymaker, take aquick street poll asking locals whatfoods they think of when they thinkof the Upper County,” I commanded.He came back with a relatively longlist. Turns out that all the ethnicitiesand cultures that formed the founda-tion of this place brought a score ofsignature dishes with them. So nowwe needed to narrow it down basedon the other clues in the riddle. “Fol-low your nose,” must be somethingstrongly aromatic. Tallymakercrossed off quite a few listings.Okay, we’re down to something calledSarma which is made with cabbage,and this garlic-based bagna cauda. Aquick search on GIGGLE revealedthat one of the literal interpreta-tions of the garlicky candidate is “hotbath.” So our path needed to lead tobagna cauda. Looking around, it fi-nally hit me like a load of Lego®bricks. Right next to the candy storewas a sign with a red bird – Cardinalsare red birds, often associated withChristmas – on it, the Red Bird Café.When we went in, sure enough the un-mistakable aroma of garlic mingledwith other tempting scents. Scanningthe menu filled with “early bird”breakfasts, sandwiches and salads, Iquickly found a Bagna Beef hoagiesandwich made with prime rib andmixed veggies slow cooked in a bath(the hot bath) of butter, oil, an-chovies, and a “mother load of garlic.”That certainly seemed to fit the bill.But what now? I didn’t have a clue,but the sandwich sure did smell good.“How about we think over lunch?”Santa suggested, echoing mythoughts. Amanda Heins brought outthe sandwiches and when I liftedmine, I noticed my plate’s designformed letters, “This is where I go totake my own hot bath when I’m doneserving you.” Where who goes?

“This one’s easy!” Pippy exclaimed,wiggling like an excited sled dogpuppy. “It’s the plate talking! And I

know where a plate takes a hot bath!”

But of course! I had seen a sign for aplace called KitchenSink, a shop in anold bank building in Roslyn with won-derful things for cooking and enter-taining. That had to be it! KeviSutter seemed to be expecting us, ormaybe she just treats everyone likewelcome guests. I showed her one ofthe missing person flyers and askedif she had ever seen Mintycane. Kevi’seyes opened wide and she exclaimed,“Oh this girl must be part Christmasmouse, she got so excited about our‘Cheese Vault’ selections! The onetime bank vault now holds gold of adifferent kind. She especially likedour Big John’s Cajun, handcrafted bythe Beehive Cheese Co.” She led uspast the displays of jar openers andother kitchen gadgets, dish towelsand wine to where the cheeses weredisplayed. By now we were expectingto find some kind of message so weexamined each package carefully,starting with Mindy’s fave. I noticedTallymaker setting a few choice se-lections aside. Looks like Mindy isn’tthe only one with a fondness forcheese! Wait! Let’s look through theGlass of Seeing. Sure enough, theentire vault took on a frosty glow,and like invisible ink can be read inthe right light, a message finger-painted with Magic No. 9 Coal Dustappeared on the walls of the vault.“Seek the Christmas red gemstone tofollow a yarn about treasure.”

Red gemstones? Hmm, that would berubies. That’s it! We saw the placewhen we were in downtown Cle Elum.Time to head back over there. Butfirst, we needed to stop and pick upthe task force we had left at theComanche Pawnee Mining Co. whereKimmi Cebe was helping young Whim-sey Cocoa develop his swing with aKeene rock pick when we went inside.In the hands of humans, it is hammersized, but held by an elf it looks morelike a full sized pick axe. So that’swhy the suspect was buying up thesepicks. It’s beginning to look a lot likesomeone is digging for more than an-swers. But why would they need OURmagic dust if they were doing a legitmining operation? We were missingsomething. Whimsey reported, “Kimmisaid they had lots of gold mining sup-plies and bags of Pay Dirt for peopleto pan for real gold and even do pan-

ning lessons, but that someone ourheight came in last week asking lotsof questions about mining techniquesand bought a bunch of supplies likethese rock picks.” We thanked herfor the information and the elvescarried out their Grab-n-go Bags ofPay Dirt, grinning like prospectorswho just hit the mother lode. But Iwas really getting worried aboutMindy, and time was running out onwrapping up the case we came here tosolve. Time to go from gold to rubies.

Ruby’s Printing, Scrapbooking andThings, llc in Cle Elum, that is. Weworked our way downtown throughthe preparations for the upcomingChristmas in Cle Elum celebration tomeet Ruby herself. Walking throughthe door, I could immediately tellthat it would be impossible to keepthe elf pack focused. A high pitchedsqueal of delight, “Stickers!” piercedthe air, confirming my prediction. TheBig North Pole Scrapbook was a fa-vorite pastime for most off-dutyelves back home. Ruby smiled as theyimmediately zoned in on her seasonalstock. I confess that even I have asoft spot for looking through thecenturies captured in our extendedfamily scrapbook, so I didn’t want tospoil their fun, but I just knew wewere getting close to finding Mindyand saving Christmas. So I gave themthe keys to the truck and told themto go figure out what chair we weresupposed to pick up, with a promise

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS IN CLE ELUM CAPER 2015B6 THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 ♦ NKC TRIBUNE

Designing ‘Glass of Seeing’

A piece of the North Pole

that we would come back, and maybeeven take a class, after the case wascracked. I asked Ruby what “a yarnabout treasure” from our clue mightmean. She showed us to the yarn andknitting supply section to look forfurther clues. The Glass of Seeingrevealed a glow around a Christmasyred and green skein. We purchasedthe yarn and hurried outside wherethe elves were honking the horn.

A beautiful ornate carved oversizechair was securely strapped into theback of the pickup. Pippy said thatthey went driving down First Streetand saw a furniture store and put twoand two together. Tina Lynch over atMountain Elegance Home Furnishing& Design seemed to be expectingthem. “Max called and let me knowthat you would be here to pick up thisspecial chair for the Santa photoswith kids and pets over there. It’s sonice that they are collecting food forthe local food bank,” she said with awarm smile. Pippy tugged on Santa’scoat. “Sir, remember you asked us tobe on the lookout for a new mattressfor you to rest better after your BigNight? We would have been heresooner, but there were so many totest out, like 20 or more, but wecouldn’t decide. You and Mrs. C.should go try them out for yourselvesto pick out just the perfect goodcomfy one that suits you two best!”

My new phone rang, and it was MikeHaynes at Reliable Auto Service LLCdown the street. The sleigh had beentowed into the shop and he heardthat we had the non-stock sleigh run-ner part. With his reputation forhonest quality work, Mike the me-chanic always has a steady stream ofcustomers needing repairs on theircars, trucks, vans, and SUVs, but hewould definitely make room in hisbusy schedule for Santa and the chil-dren around the world. “Just bring inthe part and we’ll get going on it! Thework won’t be done in time for theChristmas in Cle Elum Parade ofLights, but don’t worry! I talked tomy friends on the Cle Elum VolunteerFire Department, and they said theywould be happy to have you ride ontheir fire truck if you would do themthe honor, Santa.” Santa pulled outhis tablet, the 21st century versionof his famous List, opened the cus-tom NaughtyNice app, and tapped abunch of “nice” column checkboxes.He was doing that a lot on this trip.

We dropped off the sleigh runner atthe repair shop and the Santa pic-tures chair at the Christmas store,and were wondering where to turnnext, when my phone rang again. Itwas Mintycane! I quickly answered,“Mindy, where are you?” But it wasLaura at Second Time Around, theconsignment shop where Mintycanehad found her Christmas sweater (Ijust couldn’t bring myself to call any-thing that Mindy picked out to wear“ugly”.) “Hi, your friend left herphone here when she was shopping,and it’s been ringing off the hook!” I

was disappointed of course, but Itried not to let it show as I thankedLaura for letting us know. “Oh, andI’m still holding that gown and acces-sories she picked out for the ball,”Laura added, “She said she was reallylooking forward to wearing it whenshe danced with you.” Mindy wantedto dance with me? My heart startedbeating faster than a toy drum onChristmas morning and it was diffi-cult to concentrate, but I was moredetermined than ever to find thatspecial elfette! Maybe there was aclue on her phone. When I got to theshop, I went ahead and had Laura ringup Mintycane’s items, and asked herto help me pick out a nice piece ofjewelry to go with it.

When I got back to the truck and setMindy’s phone in the center consolenext to the yarn, her phone suddenlylit up and a message flashed on thescreen. “If you’re reading this, thenit means that I’ve become separatedfrom you and my phone. This app isautomatically activated if one of thelocator beacons comes in close prox-imity. Below is a list of all the activelocations within a 25 mile radius,please tap the beacon you havefound.” I tapped the box next to thelisting “R/G yarn skein”. An instruc-tion panel opened up.

“This skein of yarn has been linkedto the essence of a specific targetelf. When you get within approxi-mately 100 yards of the target, theMagic No. 9 Coal Dust spun intothe fibers will react by visibly glow-ing without any devices. When this

happens, find the end and unwindtwelve to eighteen inches. Just asSanta calls out each reindeer byname to activate the levitation prop-erties in the magic dust, calling outthe name of the target elf will causethe yarn to levitate about four feetoff the ground. Let go of the end,and it will be drawn towards the tar-get. Now simply follow the floatingyarn to locate the linked elf.”

Sounded simple enough. But how toget close enough to set off the loca-tor? Wait, I got the gps coordinatesof where the mine timbers were de-livered. That’s a place to start!

By now the remainder of the elvesfrom the crash site had arrived inthe rental car provided courtesy ofthe insurance policy, so I waved myarm out for them to follow me. Mynew gps device guided us to a woodedarea off Bullfrog Road. However, astack of timbers were all that indi-cated that there was a mine entranceanywhere nearby. A brilliant glowsuddenly erupted from the enchantedyarn. We were closing in!

“Santa, would you please call out hername in the voice you use to launchthe deer?” I asked.

“Ho, ho, ho, of course my boy!MINDY LOU MINTYCANE!” heshouted with a hearty laugh. Hermiddle name was Lou? Nice. Ahem,focus Pointyshoe, focus. I had un-wound the full eighteen inches, justto be sure, and as described, theskein became very light, thenfloated on its own, the end tugging

at my hand like a reindeer tugging onthe reins, anxious to be on its way.When freed, the end of the laneshot out towards the hillside. Itbumped furiously against thebranches piled there. The elvespulled back the boughs to find a hid-den opening. That’s it, a secret backentrance into the old No. 9 mine!When the obstruction was removed,the glowing fiber unwound and cre-ated a well lit path through themaze of subterranean tunnels. Wefollowed until we heard the distinc-tive sound of pick axes strikingstone and saw the glow of a lantern.We stopped but the woolen lifelinecontinued to spool out, faster if any-thing. The stone striking ceased anda familiar squeaky voice hollered outfrom around the corner, “Who goesthere?” I did a quick head count.Someone was missing.

“I’ll take it from here, my boy,” Clauscalmly said, edging forward a smallstep at a time, the rest of us at hisheels. In a reassuring tone, he calledout, “Fixy lad, let’s have a little chatover hot cocoa, just like we always doback at the North Pole.” As weturned the corner, my heart jumpedinto my throat as I saw Mindy boundto a mine timber in the middle of thechamber, a coal dust stained FixyTinker looming beside her, menacinglywielding a rock hammer like a pickaxe. A coal cart full of freshly minedMagic No. 9 Coal Dust, along withthe missing apothecary jars from theNorth Pole warehouse, lined the backof the cavern.

(CONTINUED ON PAGE B8)

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS IN CLE ELUM CAPER 2015NKC TRIBUNE ♦ THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 B7

Finding hidden clues in books

THE GREAT CHRISTMAS IN CLE ELUM CAPER 2015B8 THURSDAY, DEC. 3, 2015 ♦ NKC TRIBUNE

Second Time Around

Attic Treasures Thrift Store

Rachel Bennett, Insurance Agent

Printing, Scrapbookingand Things, llc

Harold B. Iverson, CPA

Glass • Gallery • Workshop

G UNNA R’S B IS T RO

kitchensink

CARPENTER FAMILY Historical Home & Art Gallery

❖ DRUG ❖CLE ELUM

RELIABLE AUTO SERVICE LLCMichael S. Haynes, Owner

K & F Storage

H STARRING ROLES H

“You stay back, all of you!” Tinkershouted angrily. It’s mine, all mine! Istaked this claim and I will have totalcontrol of the Magic No. 9 CoalDust black market!” So THAT’s whyhe stole our supply. But it still didn’texplain why he did it in the firstplace, or why he kidnapped Mindy.

As much as his irrepressible cheeri-ness can get on my nerves at times, Iwas thankful that the Claus possesseda nearly hypnotic quality to his voicethat can calm even the most agitatedof souls. “Why don’t you tell me whathappened to take you down this path,Fixy,” Santa asked compassionately.

“I’m tired of always being the guy tofix everything for everyone else!When I found this old map to thedust deposits and the secret en-trance to the mine, every time Itried to bring it to you, I got calledon another job. ‘Fix this Fixy’, ‘Fixthat Fixy’. Well I fixed you all! Thenthese nosy agents started nosingaround my operation. I won’t let youruin everything!”

“Now Fixy, you’ve always been such agood boy,” Claus said softly. “In fact,you’ve been one of my favorites, sodependable and …” as Tinker’s eyesglazed over and his arms went slack,the pick hammer slipped from his gripand I took the opportunity to springforward, tackling Fixy to the stonefloor. “Don’t hurt him Sam,” Santagently commanded. As tempted as Iwas to end up on the Naughty list forlife for disobeying a direct orderfrom the Boss, I let the elf pack han-dle securing Tinker and leapt to freeMintycane. She threw her armsaround my neck in appreciation, andbefore I realized what was happen-ing, dangled a slightly crumpled sprigof mistletoe above our heads andplanted a sweet pepperminty kiss onmy surprised face.

With the magical deposits rediscov-ered, Santa was able to negotiateeternal secret access to the specialcoal dust mining operation, so hisChristmas Eve flight would neveragain be threatened by a shortage ofthe dwindling supply. Tami and BobBator of the 70 year old local familyowned Bator Lumber, and their crew,were good sports, agreeing to wearblindfolds while being taken to thetop secret job site to install brandnew Canyon Creek Cabinets to storethe growing collection of apothecaryjars filled to the brim with MagicNo. 9 Coal Dust. The quality cabi-nets, built to last in Washington, sat-isfy Santa’s requirement for greenmanufacturing with over 20 years of

constant improvement, like adoptingtheir Green Cabinet Source program.More checkmarks in the good columnon Santa’s app.

As for Mindy and I, well, after shewas promoted to co-leader of theElf.B.I. with me for her excellentwork and bravery on this importantcase, I mustered up the courage toask her to the big North Pole Extrav-aganza Ball. She said yes! And now,not only is she my partner in thefield, she has agreed to be my part-ner in life as well. And that F-150 Ihad grown so fond of during the mis-sion? It turned out that Santa hadordered it weeks ago and planned togive it to us as a wedding gift. Howdoes he do that? How did he knowbefore we even did?

So, Christmas is saved. We will be lin-gering around a couple of days forChristmas in Cle Elum. Santa has abunch of gigs booked already, like hisphoto and parade appearances. Thecrew has some favorite spots to checkout and classes to take now that wehave more time. So if you see a pointyear or a pointy shoe around town, justwink and keep our tale a secret.

Christmas saved for generations to come