The Fundamentals: Volume 4, Chapter 5: A Personal Testimony

8/20/2019 The Fundamentals: Volume 4, Chapter 5: A Personal Testimony

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106

Tlie F

u idamentals

· Whethe r

or not

there was an

existence beyond the grave

was a matter abo

1

ut wl1ich

I

l1ad

sp,ecula ted much but

had

dis

misse d

it from

my thou ght . Having become a

thorough

going ra tional ist (and being no more irrational than the gener ~

ality

of tho se

who assume that ·

self -flattering

title )

1 took

. the ground

that

it was

possible

to

believe only

what

could

be made evident to th~ physical senses, and

having rejected

the

witness of God, and so made Him a

liar (

1 John

5

:9, 10)

and hav ing

disregarded

''the evidence of things

not seen''

( Heb.

11 :1) , I

was perishing for

lack of

know ledge while

passing,

in n1y o,wn estimation and tl1at of others , as a. ' ' very

. wel l-inf ,o,rmed ma,n. ''

I had

become a

.church-1nember

and

commun .icant at the

age of sixteen ; had been for many years thereafter quite a

regular attendant o·n chu .rcl1 servic

1

es, and had heard innun1er-

•

· able

sermons ; yet

I

was

as

ign .orant

as

any

Hottentot

con-

cerning

God'

1

s 0

1

n

1

e and onl.y ·way

of

salvation. , Such is ·the

wretch .eel condition of million s -o,f excellent people in this

'' Christian''

land and

in this ''e nlightened' ' century.

~he

·Gospel is hid · from the ,m because ''the god

of

this age' ' h.atb

blinded their minds

' 'lest

tbe light of the

glorious Gospel

of

#'

Christ, who is the image of God, should shine

unto

them''

( 2

Cor.

.4 :4

)1

W'ORLDLY PRO,SPERITY U'NSATISPYING

•

.

•

~{Whosoever

drinketh of

thi s

water

shall

thirst

again''

(J ohn 4 :13). Let me

add briefly,

as touching my material

circumstances, that

in

the practice

of my chosen profession

( law) I was sµffi.ciently successful to

gratify

my own ambi

ti.on ,and

to excite the

envy

of

others; that I was

bless ,ed with

. ~xcellent

physical

health; and that

my domesti

1

c

relations

were

all

that

could

be

desired. Nothing seemed

to

be

lacking that

could ·insure or contribute t,o happiness and contentment.

But peace of

mind

and

r·est of conscience

are not

to be

found

in

what

the

world calls

''easy

circutns ltance s.''

Not-


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•

•

•

1 Perso~ial

Test 11 01·y

withsta ndi11g

tha t I

had appare ntly every

reaso11

to be V. ~11

satisfied with

my lot,

and

every opport11nity

to

enjoy

the

good

things of

tl1is

world, my mental condition

was

anything but

•

satisfactory. It is hard to picture the state of a mind sub-

ject ·to increa singly

frequent

and protracted spells of

depres

sion, for which there seemed to

be

no reason

or

exp la11aio11

Certainly I

was

thoroughly

discontented, desperately

un l1appy ,

and

becoming

moie and more an easy prey to

gloomy

thoughts

and

vague, undefinable apprehensions. No longer could I

fi.nd ' mental sa tisfaction and diversion in the places and things

which once supplied them. My grat ifications had been largely

of an intellectt tal order, and my mind had be

1

en much

OCCt1pieu

. in 'efforts to pierce

the

veil

of the material universe, and

to dis

cover what, if anything,

Jay

concealed behind it. This quest had

carri .ed me into the domains of science, phil0

1

iOphy,

occultism,

theosophy, etc .. etc. All this pursuit had

yielded

nothing

111ore

1·eliable than conj ~.cture,

a11dhad

1eft

the inquirer after

the

truth

wear ·jed, baffle,d and

inteilect .ttal.ly

starved.

Life

had

no mea11ing, advantage, purpose or ju stification ;

and

the

powers of the much-vaunted hun1an i11te]1ectseemed unequal

to

the sol.tttion of

the simp

1

lest

my steries.

The

prospect 'before

n1e 'Was

Unsp

1

eakab 'ly

dark and

for

bidding,

•

'''vVR El?E IS THE WISE?'' ( 1 Co·r. 1 :20) ·.

But some

remedy against sett le.cl

desp,air must be

found.

So 1· followed others in the attemp

1

t to find

1

distraction in the

gaieties, a1nusements and excitements of a godless, pleasure

seeking

wo1·ld, a'tnong

whom I was

a.s

godless·

as

anyt

Some

good

p,eople

who were interested in me, and who had an

i11kling

of my condition, assured me

that

what I needed

v.ias n10

1

re ''div ·ersion'

1

and ''relaxati ,on,'' and that I was '''work-

•

•

ing too hard,'' etc. This

view

of

the matter was urged

by ·

church members. No one told me the simp,le truth;

na.mely,

that I ne

1

eded Christ and His salvation. 0, the ·innumerabJ,e

mi1lions who are

stumbling

through life , vaguely conscious of

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108

The Fundamentals

a great need, but ignorant of its nature, and having no one

to

tell them

I

have given this description

of

my unhappy state at

some lent,h in the belief t~at a·mong those who may read

it,

many will recognize

it

as a description of the main features

of their own condition.

To such I can say with the utmost assurance that the e

is deliverance for you, full and complete, and that it is not far

off, but it is close by. The word is nigh thee, in thy mouth

and in thy heart, that is, the word of faith which we preach;

that

if

thou shalt confess with thy mouth Jesus as Lord, and

shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from

the dead, thou shalt be saved (Rom. 10 :8, 9).

So completely has that old condition of mental distress and

unrest passed away that I would riot now be able to even

recall and describe it, but for a record which I made within

six months of my conversion.

"Who shall deliver me I thank God through Jesus Christ,

oitr Lor


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A Piersonal 1 .estimoiiy

·109

circu_mstancethat, as I was

makin .g

my way to the door afte r

the meeting, several persons greeted me with a

pleasant word

and a

shake

of

the

'hand,

and one inquired abo

1

ut

my spiritual

.~ate. I went

away

fr

1

om that meeting still in complete igno-

1an1,e of

th

1

e

.simple trut ·h t·hat

my wretchedness was

a1·1

d11e

to the fact th,at I was an unreconciled and unpardon ,ed sin11er,

a11d of

the greater truth

tl1at

there was One wh,o had died

for ·my sins, who fl:ad reconciled me to

God

by His

blood,

and through whom

I could . obtai ,n for ,giveness

of sins and

eternal life . . Again I

Say

that no ' natural explanati ,on will

account for the

fact that I was constraine ,d

to

return t,o a

place so utterly

devoid

of attractions

and

so foreign to all

· my natural tastes

and inclina ·tions.

The people

wer le not in

t ·he social grade to

which

I had been

acc·ust

1

ome,d,

.and I would

have found no

1

thi11gat all

congenial

in

their

society.

•

A·nd here I. wish ·to call particular

attentio11

to a striki1rig

ins,tanc

1

e of the fact that God's ways are no

1

t as out· ways, and

that the 'Wisdom of matt is foolishness with G

1

od. I

should

hav

1

e supposed that, in order to convihce m

1

e of t'he truth .of ·

the 'Bible and of C11ristianity it wottld 'be necessary to em·ploy

the best efforts

of

a

faculty of

the p1·ofo,un,de,st th,eologians,,

vetsed in all

the argu ll

1

ent,s

of skep tical

ph.ilos

ophy,,

,and

able · ·

to

f urnisl1

plausible rep lies

to

t.hem. But

God, in His wisdom,

sent me to learn the wa,y of ever lasting life ftom a

cotnpai1y

of .exceedingly p

1

lain, humble

p

1

eopl

1

e, of

little

1

education,1 to

whom I re,gar ,ded

myself as immeasur .ably superior i.n all the

high

1

er branches of knowledge. It is

true

that tl1ese

people

knew very little of

w·hat

is tattght

in colleges

and

seminaries;

but

the,y

did

have ·that k11owledge which is

th

1

e

highe,st

a11d

most

excellent ,of.

ali, that kn

1

owled.ge

for which ,one

of the 111ot

scl1olar ly of men of

his

day was wil]ing to

sacrifice all

his

advantages, counting them but refuse, and to cast away all

. his brilliant prospects, saying,

''I

count all

things but loss,

for

t11

exc,ellency

of

the kno luledge of'

Christ

Je .sus

my Lord''

( Pl-1i .

3

1

:1). · · .

•

•

•

•

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110

The F wn damentals

So that my estimate of my own attain1nen ts was alto

gether wrong; and the actual truth was that, in comparison

with the simplest of those who had knowledge

oi

Jesus Christ

as Savior and who confessed Him as Lord, was but an

ignoramu s.

do not rem ember how many ti1nes went to these meet~

ings

before I yielded to the Spirit's influence, and I do- not

remember that was conscious of any benefit from attending

the meetings, which, from the ordinary standpoint, would

have been pronounced decidedly dull. The crisis in my life

came on the evening of May 24th, 1903, when, yielding to

an inward prompting which, gentle as it was, yet overpowered

all my natural reluctance and repugnance to such an act, I

went forward and

knelt

with a few others at the front of the

meeting roon1. I took the sinner's place, and confessed myself

in need of the grace of God.

A

Christian man (the same who

at

first asked

me

about n1y soul) kneeleq by me and called .on

the Lord

Jesus to

save me. Of course, the act of publicly

kneeling and calling on the natne

of

the Lord is not a neces

sary part of the process

of

conversion. There is

no

specified

place or manner in which the gift of eternal life is received.

What

is

necessary, however, is that one should believe God,

first as to the fact that ~e is a sinner and can do .nothing for

himsel_; and second, that Jesus Christ, risen from the dead,

the

Etern .al

Son of

God,

is the Sin-Bearer

for

all who believe

on Hin1- Who was delivered for our offenses, and raised

again for our justification (Rom.

4 :25).

did not know the nature of what was happening, for

did not believe in sudden conversions. supposed that a

change of nature, if it occurred at

all,

qiust be very gradual

an evolution, in fact. But my ignorance of the process did

not stand in the way of the mighty power of God, acting

in grace,

to

quicken me into new life (Eph.

1 :19;

2:5). I ·

called upon the name of the Lord, with a deep conviction of

in in

my

heart ; and that was enough.


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111

''IF ANY MAN BE IN CHRIST, I-lE IS l NEW CREATU RE''

In

the years

that

have elapsed I have come to

a bet~

ter understanding o·f the tre111endous change which

took

-

place that night though onJy in eternity will I fully com-

prehend

it.

Certainly it was

life from tl1e

dead.

Spiritual

things £rom

tl1at moment became

realities, and took a .

place

in

my thou .ght and consciousness. Th,e

things that

once

had

a l1old upon me began to lose their attraction. ·1 soon learned

by a happy

experie11ce

tl1at

if

a man be in

Cl1rist,

there is

a new creation an entirely new environment that old

thi11gs

l1ave

passed away, and all things have

become new; and

that

a]l things

are

of

God

(2

Cor. 5

:17, 18). In

a

very short

time the habits

of my

life , as well

as

the occupations

of my

·heart

and mind, underwent

a great change.

The

habit of

daily

Bible

reading, · and

of 1norning

and evening prayer,

wa

i1nmediately established. Of ten previot1sly I had tried to

pray, as I felt the pressure of misery and distress of mind; ..

and innumerable

time s

both publicly

and privately, I had ,

''sa id

my

prayers; but it was not praying, for I was in

u,nbelief. I did not believe

tl1e

Word of God, but criticized

and rejected it. I did not believe in the virgin . birth 0£ our

Lord, nor in .His vicarious death, nor in His physical resur- ·

•

rection.

The

doctrine

of His blood-shedding for the sins of ·

others, and of His being made sin for us, that we might be

made the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5 :21) I

rega rded as

unphilosophical and unworthy of belief.

T'he

only

God

I knew

was the god

of

mate rialism, a creature

of

1nan's vain imagination.

I had

no

knowledge

0£

the

God

and Father of our Lord Je sus

1

Cl1rist.

DOUBTS AND DIFFICULTIES S,WEPT AWAY

•

•

•

Perhaps the most

wonderful

change

which was

1nanif est

to my ·consciousness, when my 1nind b·eg~n to

resume its

norm .a) activity and to inquire into ,vhat had happened, v.ras ·

• •

•

..

•


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112

The undamentals

this, that all my doubts, questionings, skepticism and crit i

cism concerning God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, con

cerning the

full

insp irati on, accuracy and authority of ...._he

Holy Scriptures as the incorruptible Word of God, concerning

the sufficiency of Chri st's atonement to settle the que~tion of

sin, and to provide a ground upon which God could, in per

fect righteousness, forgi ve and justify a sinner, and concerning

an assured salvation and per fect acceptance in Christ, were

swept away completely. Fron1 that day to this I have nev er

been troubled

by

doubt s of God and His Word.

IF THOU SI:L LT RE LIE VE IN THINE HEARTu

This experience is to me, and will be to any one

who

refl~cts upon it, .ver~ wonderful

~ ~

i~pressive. ~ad. no

notion at all that intelle ctual difficulties and questioning s

could be removed in any way except by being answered, one

by one, to the intellectual satisfaction of the person in whose

mind they existed. But my doubts and difficulties were not

met in that way. They were simply removed when believed

on the Crucified One, and accepted Him as the Christ of God,

and as my personal Savior.

The explanation of this

is

that

the

seat

of

unbelief

is

not in the head, but in the heart (Rom. 10 :9) . It is th e

will

that is wrong; and the bristling array of doubts and

difficulties which spring up in the mind are mere disguises and

pretexts supplied by th e enemy of souls, behind which the

unbelieving heart tries to shelter itself and to justify

it

unbelief.

This

is

the exp lanat ion of those words of our Lord, who

knew what was in man, ' Ye

w ll

not

come to

Me

that ye might

have life (John 5 :40).

It is man's unbroken and unyielded will that prevents him

from coming to the Fountain

of

eternal life and receiving

that unspeakab~e gift of God. And this, too, is why it is

,vritten, For with th e heart ma n believeth unto righteous-


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113

•

•

ness'' (Rom. 10 :9). The natural 1nind is the conge11ialbreed

ing place of doubts and questionings, and (as

it

deems these

to

b

1

e of

g1·eat

importan ,c

1

e)

i·t

s·ttpp,oses,

that

these

m U,st

be dealt

vvith seriati1n. The ·natural man kn,ows nothing about being

rtransformed by

the

renewing of tl1e n1ind'' (R .om. 12 :2),

a.11dhe ''receives . not the thin .gs of

tl1e.

Spirit of God; , for th,ey

ar

1

e fool ·ishness unto him; neither can

he

know them, because

•

they are

spiritually

disc·er~ed'' ( 1 Cor. 2: 14). Bu·t when the

heart , the

cente,r

of man's being,

th ,at

i11most

place

to

whicl1

God alone has

acc,ess,,

is p·ersuaded, tl1,e whole

n1an

is chang

1

ed,

•

a11d tl1e mind lil


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The F itndamentals

I should, of course, be wholly at a loss_ o interpret this

experience but for the Scriptures; and thereby the Divine

- authorship of these is further confirmed. In the light of

the Scriptures .it is easy to see that what had occurrep. wa

an inwrought conviction produced by the Holy Spirit, the

One now ministering in the world, testifying of a risen,

ascended and glorified Christ, at the right hand of God, and

convicting of sin, of righteousness and of judgment.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is st yed

on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee

(Isa. 26:3). Another

n1arked result of believing the witness

of

God which He

hath testified of His Son ( 1 John 5 :9) has been the com

plete deliverance from the spells of mental depression, which

were rapidly developing into a state of settled melancholia,

or

what is called nervous prostration, from which so many

are suffering in these times

of

high pressure, and concerning

~he cause of which they are totally ignorant. The mind cannot

be kept in perfect peace that is stayed upon material and

perishing thirtgs. It is manifestly a satisfactory and sufficient

explanation of peace of mind that it is stayed'' upon the

unchangeable God. This deliverance from mental depression

was not immediate, for did not learn at once to stay my

mind on Him ; but the change

began

immediately and pro

gressed until settled peace became the normal mental con

dition.

I have learned, in a word, that the redemption that is_ n

Christ Jesus covers and meets all the consequences of. sin

whether manifested in soul, or mind, or body. Our salvation is

of the Lord and is for the whole man, spirit, soul and

body.

uBelieve on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved,

and thy house

(Acts 16:31). Within two months from the

eyent related above ( which, by the way, through timidity and

fear of comment and ridicule I tried to keep as much as

possible to myself) I was put in a position where I was com-


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A Personal T estirno11y

'115

pelled to open my lips to a beloved member of my own fam ily,

suffering as I could plainly

see,

from what had formerly

oppre ·ssed me, and to preach Christ for the first time. · W hat

effort the delivery of this sermon cost me cannot be described.

It

consisted of these words : What you need is the · Lord

Jesus Christ; and after their utterance the preacher had not

another ·word to say, and the only visible result was a very

awkward and constrain ed silence. Yet this simple, clumsily

given testimony, together with some verses of Scriptu re read

at random, were used by the Spirit of

od

to quicken another

dead soul. There were yet two more of the hou sehold to be

brought to a knowledge -of Christ, but it was not long before

these likewise, and without any pre ssure from us, accepted

Christ, and were tran slated out of darkness .into His n1ar

velous light.

T he path of the righ teous is as the daivning light, that

shineth 'more and more unto the perfe ct day (P rov. 4 :18

R. V.). It

was a great and wonderful surprise to

us to

find

that there was such a thing as an assurance of -salvation,

with im1nediate and unmi stakable blessings given. to believer s

as an earnest and first-fruits of the inherita nce of the saints.

f\11

our previous theological instruction had been to th e

effect

that if one lived Ha good Christian life ( which many -deluded

souls are trying .to do before they have got it) he might

possibly be save d hereafter, but that there was no certainty

for anybody until the day of jud g1nent.''

But even greater surpri ses awaited us. Blessed

as it is

to know upon the evidence of Chri st's own statement , prefaced

by His Verily, verily ,

I

say unto you, that He who hears

His Word and believes on Him who sent Hhn has everlasting

life and shall not come into jud gment, but

is

passed from

death unto life ·(John 5 :24), there ·was much more to follow.

God's goodness toward us did not stop at revealing the truth

as to our acceptance in Christ and our consequent eternal

security. He led us to see that it was our duty ·and privilege


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117

A PeYisonalTe stiwiony

•

The L,ord h1a s further

shown

us

that,

so far from finding

. it a deprivation to withdraw ourselves from the pursuits and

amusements of

the

cam ,p

1

and froJn

its

1

godless mirth,

which

•

is as the crackling of dry thorns under a pot, ~we have in fact

gained unspeakably thereb ,y. The new interests which now

occupy

us (having to do with Him in

whose

presence is full

ness

of

joy, and at whose

right

hand

are

pleasu'tes for .ever

more,)

are far

more

satisfying, and contribute

far more

real

gratification than a11

the things

in

which,

for want

of

knowl~

edge of something better, we

used

to be interested, and in

the pursuit of which we spent our time and money. It seems,

humanly

speaking,

impossible

to

n1ake our frie11ds

and

asso-

ciates

in the old 1ife under stand

that

we have not

suffered

· any deprivations whatever. ''Having the understanding Car.k~

ened,'' they can only see the worthless things which we ha.Ve

cast aside, and can take no cognizance of the riches of grace

and glory which

the

believer in Christ has,

''in

whom it hath

pleased the Father that all fulness should dwell'' (Col. 1 :19).

It is as if a beggar were given, through

kingly

munificence,

a suit of rich apparel, and should hasten to put it on, joyfully

casting

aside the rags with wl1ich he was previously clad,

and some onlooker s, lilcewise

1

cla,d in dingy ,garments should

•

be

able to see only the discarded rags, and should thCreupon

hasten

away clasping

their own rags

tightly

around them for

fear a li1{e experie ·nce might befall ·them.

•

''IF I GO, 1 WILL COME AGAIN'' {John 14:3)

•

The L

1

ord has

also

enabled us to look

bey

1

btid ''t 'his

ptese11t ·

evil age," of Which Satan is the god., to the

age

that is soon

to come, in which Christ will return to earth, and all His

redeemed with Him, as prophesied since Enoch's time

(Jude

14; Rev. 19:11-16, etc.), and ''to the times of

restitution

of

•

all things ,vhich God hath spoken

by

the mouth of

ll

His

holy

prop ,hcts since th e ,vorld began" ( Acts 3

:21). .

•

•

•

•

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118

The Fundamentals

But, n1ore than that, we have been led .to look, not for

ear thly happiness or for bliss af ter death , but for th at event ,

which is nearer still, and which it is the privil ege of the

believer to expect at any mo1nent, when th e Lo rd I-Iimself shall'

call upon His own to meet H im in th e air ( 1 Th ess. 4 :16, 17;

1 Cor. 15 :51, 52) . And so th e grac e of God, which bring s

salvation, hath appea red, teaching us that, denying µngod

liness and worldly lusts, we should live so9erly, righteously ,

and godly in this present world; lookin g for that blessed hope

and the glorio us app earing of our great God and Savior

Jesus Chr ist, who gave H imself for us (Titu s 2 :11-14).

This is not the teaching of the wisdom of this age, nor of

the leaders of thi s age ; nor is it the teaching of tho se professed

mini sters of Chr ist who have accepted the gospel of this age

the gospel of its pro gress and betterment; but it is the teach

ing of the grace of God and of the Word of God, and we

have accepted and rejoice in

it. .

Y ea, and all that w oitld live godly in Christ Jesus shall

suffer persecution. It would not be a truthful represen tation

of the matt er to n1ake it appear that therP have been no

unpleasant experience s attending and resulting from this

departur e from our old way s and ent ering upon the one

true and living way. There ha s been, of course, much

adverse comment, much irritation, much hostility aroused ,

we have heard many referenc es· to self-righteousnes s,''

fa natici s1n, and the like. To desert the ways of the world

is, of cour se, to conde1nn tho se ways; and they who are walk

ing in them cannot be expected to take it kindly. They turn

away exclaiming, 'Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of

Damascu s, bett er than all the wa ters of Israel?' (2 King s

5 :12). Then why this narrow-mindedness and bigotry?

And, as might also be expected, the greate st resentment of our

conduct ha s been arou sed in those who, while ·professing to

belong to Christ, are casting their lot indi scrimin ·ately with

th e1n

who openly reject Him.


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119

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This, of

course,

we can

endure patiently;

because He said,

Documents

The Fundamentals: Volume 4, Chapter 5: A Personal Testimony