The Fear of Disappointing Others

unmet expectations = disappointment

How does it make you feel when you fail to live up to the expectations of others?

What if you have failed to meet people’s expectations, and as a result…

• they are unhappy with you• they are dissatisfied with you• they are angry with you• they are frustrated with you• they are irritated with you• they have a low opinion of you

• they show no mercy in their response to you• they have no sympathy or

forgiveness• they punish you• they dismiss you

How would it make you feel? • they are unhappy with you• they are dissatisfied with you• they are angry with you• they are frustrated with you• they are irritated with you• they have a low opinion of you

• they show no mercy in their response to you• they have no sympathy or

forgiveness• they punish you• they dismiss you

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

couldn’t care less

it’d bother me, but I’d be fine I’d be horrified

How would it make you feel? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1-4couldn’t care less

5-7it’d bother me, but I’d be fine

8-10I’d be horrified

F rustrated

I nsecure N euroticE motional

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others?

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.

- Proverbs 29:25 (ESV)• Face Your Fear• Steer Clear of the Snare• Trust The LORD• Be Safe in His Care

Face Your Fear

• Fear = trembling, quaking, panic caused by emotional distress & anxiety• Man = mankind, people

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25

Summary – The “fear of man” depicts the moment at which a person’s panic or distress about what another person might say or do becomes influential, controlling, or paralyzing.

Face Your Fear – “The fear of man”

1. You say “yes” even when you want to say “no.”2. You’re very insecure about your abilities, knowledge, and your

performance.3. You feel exhausted from always trying to be “perfect,” or even

good enough.4. You hold back from saying what you really think & feel - even when

it would be appropriate, and important to speak up.5. You’re more concerned about being nice & avoiding conflict than

being real.

How does the fear of disappointing others show up in your life?

Face Your Fear – “The fear of man”

Summary – The “fear of man” depicts the moment at which a person’s panic or distress about what another person might say or do becomes influential, controlling, or paralyzing.

Face Your Fear – Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others?

•Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by

panic & distress over what another person might say or do.

•Steer Clear of the Snare

Steer Clear of the Snare

• Lays = literally, “gives.” • Snare = trap.

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25

Summary – The fear of people is a trap that steals your freedom & brings destructive consequences into your life.

Steer Clear of the Snare – “lays a snare”

1. You say “yes” even when you want to say “no.”2. You’re very insecure about your abilities, knowledge, and your

performance.3. You feel exhausted from always trying to be “perfect,” or even

good enough.4. You hold back from saying what you really think & feel - even when

it would be appropriate, and important to speak up.5. You’re more concerned about being nice & avoiding conflict than

being real.

How does the fear of disappointing others lay a snare?

Steer Clear of the Snare

Summary – The fear of people is a trap that steals your freedom & brings destructive consequences into your life.

Steer Clear of the Snare – Do not fall into this freedom-stealing destructive trap.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others?

•Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress

over what another person might say or do.

•Steer Clear of the SnareDo not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap.

•Trust the LORD

Trust the LORD

• Trust = rely upon with full confidence• LORD = Yahweh

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25

Summary – Avoid the trap by putting your full confidence in Yahweh

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe

The Snare of Fear• Works-based Mindset• Others’ approval of my

performance• Self-Focused• Criticism,

Condemnation, my value is diminished• FEAR

The Safety of Trust• Grace-based Mindset• God’s Grace & my

identity in Christ• Others-Focused• Mercy & Grace, my

value does not change• TRUST

MindsetSense of Value

& SecurityDesire to

PleaseResult of Failure

My Response

v s.

The Snare of Fear vs. The Safety of Trust

FEAR• Frustrated• Emotional• Angry• Resentful

TRUST• At Rest• Unchained• Unleashed• Secure

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others?

• Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what

another person might say or do.

• Steer Clear of the SnareDo not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap.

• Trust the LORDPut your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God.

•Be Safe in His Care

Be Safe in His Care

Safe = being set “on high”- i.e., a safe & secure place

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25

Summary – To be safe in God’s care is to find your sense of well-being and security in Him.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others?

• Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what

another person might say or do.

• Steer Clear of the SnareDo not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap.

• Trust the LORDPut your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God.

• Be Safe in His Carefind your sense of well-being and security in Him.