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The Evolution of anInglorious Moron

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Ritesh Rangare, Harshal Gondane

NotionPress

5 Muthu Kalathy Street, Triplicane, Chennai - 600005

First Published by NotionPress

Copyright © Ritesh Rangare, Harshal Gondane 2013

All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 978-93-82447-22-1

This book is sold subject to condition that it shall not byway of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold or hired out,circulated and no reproduction in any form, in whole orin part (except for brief quotations in critical articles orreviews) may be made without written permission of thepublishers.

This book has been published in good faith that the workof the author is original. All efforts have been taken tomake the material error-free. However, the author and thepublisher disclaim the responsibility for any inadvertenterrors.

RITESH-------------------------------------------------------

To Father, Late Shri. Pilaji Rangare.To Mother, Vandana Rangare.To Brother, Sudhir Rangare.

To Friend, Late Manish Shambharkar.And to

SEONI, Madhya Pradesh.

HARSHAL-------------------------------------------------------

To Father, Mr. Bhimrao Gondane.To Mother, Mrs. Nalanda Gondane.

To Mausa-ji, Mr. Madhukar Somkuwar.To Mausi, Mrs. Pushpa Somkuwar.

-------------------------------------------------------TO

NIT Calicut, Kerala.

SPECIAL THANKS

To Mom Vandana Rangare and Younger Brother SudhirRangare for blindly believing in us and constantsupporting us throughout this journey.

To my coaching friends of Seoni, MP Union and theother friends from NIT Calicut, Obviously for theiramazing Characters.

To Roopali Somkuwar who helped us by providing herLaptop during our college days. It’s because of you; wecould complete this in time.

To Mr. Radheshyam Vishwakarma, our Guru ofmarketing from whom we learned to be always positiveand to never ever give up.

Special thanks to Chandrakanth G.M. (Chandu) for allhis help and inputs.

ALSO

To all those who always asked us “To concentrate onjob and not on this Unfruitful shit.” You made ourbeliefs and convictions stronger.

To those friends who believed in us. And also to thosefriends who never believed in our ideas and our dreams.You guys boosted our morale.

To those who considered our manuscript nothing buta “Waste”. You guys made our will to publish strongerand your contribution was much needed to us.

To the amazing software MS Word, for providing us theuser friendly text editor without which we won’t be ableto begin the project.

To the Social Networking sites Orkut and Facebook,for introducing us to the virtual world. To Google forproviding the mailing service Gmail which inspired usto write mails.

To Notion Press and Mr. Naveen Valsakumar (Co-Founder), for believing in our strengths and publish us.

And last but not the least. Ritesh Rangare & HarshalGondane, the authors would like to thank each othersas we both were the first readers, editor and also thecritics of each other.

ii The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron

Prologue

Nyt_Hunter: hi sexy |12:12 am

NaughtyChik: hi… ASL plzz? |12:12 am

Nyt_Hunter: 25 M Bhopal india..urs? |12:12 am

NaughtyChik: 22 F Nagpur.. |12:12 am

Nyt_Hunter: ohh ..thts nice ur frmngp, so We can meet up sme tym.?

|12:13 am

NaughtyChik: nt soo soon hunter.Btw y Nyt hunter? Hw much uhunted down?

|12:13 am

Nyt_Hunter: lolzz ..dnt ask babe, it’sa vry long list. N wht abt u naughtychik.Naughty in chat or in bed? :P ;)

|12:14 am

NaughtyChik: hahaa.. depends on urcapacity ;)

|12:14 am

Nyt_Hunter: n my capacity dpnds onur figure. So whts ur fig? :P

|12:15 am

NaughtyChik: wohhh direct so prsnl..well not a zero fig :D

|12:15 am

Nyt_Hunter: evn I dnt lyk zero fig.loves the flesh

|12:15 am

NaughtyChik: ohh hoo .. u sounddespo lolzz

|12:16 am

Nyt_Hunter: whtevr ..hmm… do u hvcam?

|12:16 am

NaughtyChik: yup, wht do u wannasee ;)

|12:17 am

Nyt_Hunter: nythng, i mean which ucan show me ;)

|12:17 am

NaughtyChik: hahaha… not so fasthunter ;) :P

|12:18 am

Nyt_Hunter: bitch plz.. |12:18 am

Suddenly Shastri ji the training coordinator of ourcompany and Prem came to my room, and I had toleave without logging out of chat. Closing the lid oflaptop, I got up. Shastri ji said “Should we leave Sir-ji?”

I said: “Yes, we already are running late.”In the conference hall, all the business associates

were waiting for me and Prem. It was the businesstraining program of our company Rising Idiots Pvt. Ltd.After three hours of training session we came out of thehall. Shastri ji finished the remaining formalities andasked the manger to take good care of the businessassociates and we left the hall.

That was a sweaty summer day and the city ofBhopal was reading 43°C. I was soaking up in sweat.We were heading towards our hotel, and Shastri ji wasescorting us to the hotel. I asked Shastri ji to turn onthe AC in the car.

He replied “Sure... Mr. Amar. Today’s weather is abit more humid than a normal day.”

I said: Yeah, I would take a bath as soon as we reachour hotel. My trouser is completely wet in sweat. Whatabout you Prem.?

Prem: I would like to have a cold drink. My throat isdrying up.

Shastri ji: Prem Sir, you don’t have to wait to reachhotel for the cold drink. We’ll stop in an Ice crèmeparlour on our way.

iv The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron

I said: That’s good idea. I’ll have an Ice crème formyself.

After a few minutes, we found an Ice crème parlourand the driver pulled the car to the side. The first thingme and Prem did was to stretch out our bodies left andright. This is considered as a first step of relaxation.Prem splashed water over his face to feel fresh and thenwe entered into the shop.

Shopkeeper: What would you like to have Sir?Shastri ji: Can we have a look at the menu card

please.Shopkeeper: Sure..!!Shastri ji took the menu card and handed over to

Prem, as Prem had a facial expression hinting at hisdesperation for a cold drink. Prem had a look at themenu card and within few seconds ordered his colddrink and handed the menu card to me. I ordered ablack currant ice crème for myself and Shastri ji ordereda Cornetto.

Prem also asked the driver to have something forhimself and also shared his cold drink with him. Thisreflected Prem’s kindness and the thought of equality.Shastri ji was very impressed with the kindnessdisplayed by Prem. He came to me and complimentedPrem.

I said: There is a long story behind the kindness ofPrem.

Shastri ji: I would love to listen to his story.I said: I thought that men suck at listening.Shastri ji: Even then most men listen to their wives.

Isn’t it?I said: That’s only because arguing with a women is

useless.Shastri ji: “Satya Vachan.”I said: Hmm… That means you’re married.

Prologue v

Shastri ji simply nodded and was quiet with a weirdfacial expression. I could read that there is someproblem with him regarding his married life.

I said: Everything all right..? Is there any problem?Shastri ji: Umm… Not really.I said: C’mon you can tell me.Shastri ji: It’s a long boring sad story.I said: Well, in that case… I like long boring sad

stories.Prem interrupted us and asked to get back to the

car, as he was in a hurry to reach Nagpur. We allsettled down back to the car. Shastri ji was trying tocover up his bad mood and began to divert the previousconversation towards me.

Shastri ji: Prem Sir, You motivate the businessassociates very well and the examples you used wereawesome. They were so true.

Prem laughed and gave me a look, as if somethingexpected has happened.

Prem: Actually Shastri ji, if a guy is a little bitsuccessful and speaks few lines on the stage, people callit as a motivational speech.

I said: Well, the truth is, if you speak the same fewlines when you haven’t yet had a success story thennobody will listen to you or even appreciate you.

Shastri ji: Hmm… That’s so true. Seems like youguys have faced many up’s and down’s in your life.

Prem: How can you judge the up side, without seeingthe down side?

I said: Hence the saying “Failure is the first step tosuccess” holds true and 99% of people quit walking thesame path seeing the initial failure and live the rest oflife like ordinary men.

Shastri ji: Hmm… There is so much of power in yourtalks. The whole atmosphere turns positive. No doubtyou guys are such a successful businessmen.

I Said: Oh… Just stop buttering now.

vi The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron

Meanwhile, we reached to the hotel. Premimmediately asked the driver to keep his luggage in thecar and left the hotel in few minutes. I could understandthat he has a lovely wife waiting for him, but thatdoesn’t mean he was henpecked. This was his caringnature and his love for his soul mate. Unlike Prem,I had a different mentality regarding my relationship.I always feel that there should be some space in anyrelationship and spend some time with friends. HenceI planned my journey the next day, and reserved thistime to relax.

As soon as Prem left, I and Shastri ji came backto the room. I was feeling very uncomfortable in thosesweaty clothes. So I rushed to the have a shower, askingShastri ji to make himself comfortable and make somedrinks. When I came out of shower and reached thedrawing hall, Shastri ji was sitting quiet as if in a deepthought with a glass of whisky in his hand. No soonerhe saw me; he paused the film of deep thoughts runningin his mind and kept his glass down to make a drink forme.

I said: So… Shastri ji, what film is running in yourmind?

Shastri ji: Nothing Sir, just the random thoughts.I said: One shouldn’t lie with a glass of whisky in a

hand. Let me guess, isn’t it about your married life.Shastri ji again nodded his head and began his story

taking a sip of his drink.Shastri ji: Just like Prem Sir, I too have a lovely wife

and a small baby boy too.Taking a sip of my whisky I said “Hey… That’s great.

What’s the name of the boy?”Shastri ji smiled and said “Wife’s name is Veena and

our kid is yet to be named.Taking a bottom’s up, he made another peg for

himself and I could imagine that something morepainful is going to come out now. He took out his wallet

Prologue vii

and showed the photo of his wife. But this wasn’t aspainful as I had imagined and she was beautiful indeed.

I said: Shastri ji, you have a beautiful and lovingwife, a baby boy then what is your problem? I just can’tfind anything wrong in your story.

Shastri ji: That’s because there is nothing wrong withthem. It’s about me.

I said: About you what? You seem to be veryunderstanding and caring person.

Shastri ji interrupted me “No no… It’s not like that.You do not understand what I mean to say.”

I said: Then tell me clearly Shastri ji.

Taking another bottom’s up of his 3rd peg. He said“Even after having a beautiful loving wife, I’m unable tomake love to her.”

I said: Why? You don’t like her? Or do you lovesomeone else?

Shastri ji: No… That’s not true.I said: Then what?Taking a pause for few seconds he said “I don’t like

girls. I like boys.”I said: You mean to say that you’re…Before I could complete my sentence he said “Yes,

I’m a Gay.”An uncomfortable silence spread for few minutes, I

took couple of sips of the drink and gave a expressionof being uncomfortable to be with a gay alone in a hotelroom with drinks in our hands. But then he himselfassured me about my safety and said “Don’t worry, Nowthat you’ve come to know that I’m a Gay, Don’t beuncomfortable. I won’t do anything to you.”

I simple nodded and curiously asked him “If you’rea Gay, then why did you marry Veena? Does she knowyou’re…”

Again interrupting me, he said “Yes, she came toknow recently that I’m a gay. My parents forced me for

viii The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron

this marriage and I didn’t have the guts to take a standand tell the truth to my parents. But after marriage, Itried hard to change my feelings and concentrate on mywife. We had a baby, but having a baby isn’t a strongenough solution to my problem. So, then I had to tellthe truth to Veena.

I said: Oh… that’s so sad. What happened then?I felt he would cry, but unlike my expectations, he

was in complete control on himself and said “Now, welive separately and I concentrate most of the time inbusiness. Anyway, leave it Sir, I told you already thatit’s a long boring sad story. I don’t want to discuss itanymore. You tell me your story, why Prem Sir is sokind to everyone?”

I said: Will you believe me if I tell you that Premshares a close relationship with a Kinner.

Shastri ji: What the fuck…? How did the Kinnerscome into the story of Prem Sir?

I said: I told you there’s a long story behind itand if I explained it in short, you would say that it’simpractical.

Shastri ji: In that case, I’m ready for the full version.We have a full night to spend and a full bottle ofWhisky to be finished.

I said: Ok, so the full version begins from my pre-college days.

Shastri ji made another peg for himself and listenedintently.

Prologue ix

1

And she came in…Well to start the story without boring you much, I’ll takeyou directly to 2004.

Location: My Home !It was a typical lower middle class home. Now

you might have heard about the middle class manytimes but the actual meaning of “middle class” is stillunknown to the people who belong to it. What Irealized about the difference between a high class anda lower middle class people, was that the money theupper class spent on buying branded underwear, wasspent by the lower middle class to buy a full dress.

Dad was a clerk in a bank and after having workedhis way up for years, his salary had slowly equated tothe salary of the so called “middle class”. If supposeever, dad was paid any less, we would have been underthe poverty line. Mom was a housewife, and her only‘support’ to dad were those occasional quarrels. Andeven after having worked hard for so many years, hecould not afford to buy a flat or to even build anindependent house.

So wherever dad was being transferred, we renteda house and we were really lucky to get an house onrent as this is becoming a serious problem nowadays,Second only to finding a maid in big cities. I had twoyounger brothers whose responsibility were completelyon my shoulders once my dad retired. So all hopes wereon me, to support the family and raise it from being alower middle class.

Our family wandered every time dad got transferredand this time it was a small town called Dhule. Weagain rented a house and we were lucky once again that

we found it easily. The location of house was excellentand the rent was very low compared to the existingstandards.

The house was having merely 4 rooms, which moreor less looked like the sleeper class bogies of train.All the rooms and the frames of the doors were in asingle line such that, a person, sitting in the living roomcould notice who’s in the bathroom. I thought that thelandlord had forgotten to fix the doors and had left itundone with frames only, but then my dad explainedto me that this was done intentionally by the landlordprobably to save money, so now we had to use ‘Parda’(Screen), to have some privacy in home.

Well not only the rooms but the things we had inour home were also antique and one of its kind. Tostart with the living room which had a sofa on the leftside and was made about 20 years ago by a carpenterwho was somehow related to us. That sofa was calledMaharaja Sofa. Why it was called so is still a mystery.

Opposite of the sofa was a Diwan which was usedmore for storage rather than sleeping. One chappalsstand was also kept in the living room near the doorand it was made welding up of around 10-15 iron rodsand then painted so that the welding should not bevisible. Next, was the bedroom which had a double bedin it. It made horrible creaky noises, (like one hears inhorror movies), when anybody tried to get in or getout of the bed. Just above to the bed was the ceilingfan which maintained the same speed in all seasons, nomatter what and somehow we never complained aboutit.

In summer season, we used an old cooler which usedso much water to cool a bed room that all the familymembers could bath twice in that much amount ofwater. Still somehow nobody was complaining about itand we never let the cooler ‘feel’ the shortage of water.

2 The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron

Anyways let’s move to the next room which we usedto call the Kabaad room, as there was nothing usefulin it other than probably the fridge. Lastly, the kitchen,which was so small, for even two people to worksimultaneously in it and to top it was the bathroomattached to it, which ate into the already meagre spaceof the kitchen. So this was the condition of my homeand you can only imagine my situation and familybackground.

We didn’t have any personal means of transportother than Dad’s old scooter. Earlier, such means wasnot necessary, but now, as we kids were growing up,we badly felt the need of at least a bicycle and sothe three of us gathered courage and put our requestto dad. Unlike our expectations of emotional blackmailand high drama for the request to get sanctioned, dadagreed immediately and bought two bi-cycles, which thethree of us shared.

Before shifting to Dhule, I was preparing for thecompetitive examinations, but as I turned out to be alittle weak to face a competitive exam on my own, Icouldn’t score well and so decided to drop a year andjoin a coaching center, which would guide me in rightdirection and prepare me better to face any competitiveexamination. Dad supported my decision, and I began tocollect the information of the good coaching centers inthe town and that’s when I came to know about AaryaSir, who was famous for improving the academic levelof students of Dhule.

So I took the address from somewhere and went tohis coaching institute the very next morning to meethim and ask him about the admission procedure. Hewas teaching some students on a very small blackboard,so I sat in the next room, waiting for him. A big crowdof students were standing in front of the class, whichwas more than I had ever seen in any normal coachingand that gave me an assurance, that something must be

And she came in… 3

special about this teacher, that so many students likedhim. After about an hour, he came into the room whereI was waiting and he pretended as if he was so busy butactually he wasn’t.

I said: “Good Morning Sir”Sir: “Sit beta, what’s your name?”I said: “Sir it’s Amar”Sir: “Hmm… you don’t belong from around here, do

you? I think you have come from another place, right?”I said: “Yes sir, actually my father was transferred

here, so we to had to accompany him”Sir: “Yes, I thought so as most of my students are

from around here”I said: “Yes sir, I heard about you from many people.

That’s the reason why I’m here”

Sir: “So what was your percentage in 12th standard?”At that moment, I felt that if I told him my actual

percentage then my image will be shattered even beforeit was being made. I mean, most of them do the sameand only the very high scorers would tell their originalresults. So I told him a percentage higher than theactual.

Sir: “Hmm good… you scored good percentage in

12th but then haven’t you tried for any competitiveexamination?”

I said: “Yes sir, I tried, but then the score was notupto the mark, so I decided to prepare for it once again”

Sir: “Actually you are a bit late to join here, asI have already started the batch for the competitiveexaminations and have finished a few topics too. Butstill, you don’t worry, you can come regularly fromtomorrow. I’ll somehow cover up the portions you’velost in these days. So you be here tomorrow by 8:00 ammorning. Ok”

I said: “Yes sir, Thank you sir”


I knew that it will work and as expected Aarya sirshowed some interest in me and took me under hiswings. Anyways he had to accept me because it was hisjob and the only means of livelihood, but still, I felt thatmy first impression on him was good, no doubt.

Next morning I woke up early to start off mycoaching classes, and as it was far away from our homeand I had to travel a great distance by the Dugdugi (bi-cycle) to reach there on time. I was always soaked upin sweat every morning by travelling on my Dugdugi;I couldn’t make it on time most of the days .So onone such day, the chemistry class had already started. Icouldn’t find any place left to sit, so I had to move tothe back bench. All the girls use to sit in front and theboys at the back benches. The room was very congestedand it was very difficult to adjust in it.

In a few minutes a girl entered in the class, as I stolea glance at her, I felt that I had seen this girl before.When I looked at her again, suddenly I realized that

the girl was my old classmate from 5th to 10th standard

and she left in 11th standard as her father had beentransferred to this city.

Our school had a tradition that all the boys and girlswere assumed brothers and sisters. So according to thattradition she was my sister and I too accepted her as areal sister. Her name was Neha. She entered the classand without a single glance at the boy’s rows, sat withthe girls in front and I was at back bench.

When the class ended, Sir announced a small breakand after which we had physics and mathematics. Allthe boys went to a Pan Thela (Cigarette shop) and Iwent straight to the tea stall. After having a hot andrefreshing cup of tea, there was still some time left forthe classes to begin and I noticed Neha again standingwith a group of girls and this time she happened to


notice me and was trying to recognize me. In a fewseconds she came up to me…

Neha: “Hey, how come you are here?”I said: “Just like that, actually dad was transferred

here and so I’m here”Neha: “Yaar I didn’t recognize you at first”I said: “Yeah, I thought so. After all we met after a

really long time that’s why”Neha: “Hmm… you have changed so much”I said: “Haan you too have changed yaar”Neha: “When did you join here?”I said: “Just few days ago, I recognized you earlier

but then I thought that you might have forgotten me.So I hesitated to talk”

Neha: “How could I forget you so soon yaar, we hadbeen studying together for so many years”

I said: “Hmm… It’s good that you still remember”(Smiling).

Neha: (Smiling) “Phir koi baat hai kya!! By the way,where do you stay?”

I said: “Near bus stand, What about you?”Neha: “At the friends’ colony. Do visit home

sometime. Ok”I said: “Yes of course, I guess there won’t be any

problem if I really visit sometime”Neha: “Of course not yaar, and anyways you are like

my brother so there’s no chance for any problem”I said: “But even then, it’s better to get a

confirmation first”Chatting up, both of us didn’t keep a track of the

time and suddenly Aarya sir called us in for the nextclass. In a few hours, the remaining sessions of the classended and then I met her again. We both decided totake a walk rather than cycling, so that we could catchup and chit chat for the long time.


Neha: “Hey do you remember one day, when we

were in 7th standard I think, at the time of our dailyNational Anthem you guys ran behind the Kati Pantang(Kite) which came flying towards our school ground.”

I said: “Ya...of course. How could I forget that dayyaar when we had to stand the whole day in the schoolground as the principal was very angry with us guys?”

Neha: “But what you guys did too was equally badand that’s why he gave such harsh punishment. Youguys didn’t respect our National Anthem for a merekite.”

I said: “Oh and then what about respecting thePledge? Bhul gayi, all of our classmates use to say‘Except one’ behind the line ‘All Indians are my brothersand sisters’.”

Neha: (Laughing) “Ya, I remember. That was sofunny.”

We discussed all those things that happened duringour long interval after the school and with all those oldtalks, we reached the turning of the road where we hadto separate our ways towards home. She went her wayand I took my and reached home.

Next day, I got a special kind of attention fromeverybody, as if I had done something unusual and thenI got to know that this was because the other day, I hadbeen talk with Neha and everybody noticed me talkingto her. Coaching was divided into two groups i.e. oneof boys and the one of girls and there was merelyany conversation between them and I soon became themedium by which they could get themselves introducedto Neha.

They were unaware of the fact that I considered hermy sister. Their wrong notions gave me that ‘Specialattention’ from everybody in the class. I used to asksome doubts during the classes and sir was impressed


by this attitude of my and began paying more attentiontowards me than the other guys.

What is going to happen tomorrow and whatsurprising gift I was going to unwrap was a mystery.Fortunately, the next morning brought a priceless giftwhich unwrapped in the coaching class. I wasconcentrating hard on the topic being taught by Sir,everything was going normal and the second class toobegan. I was sitting at the back bench again and it wasdifficult for me see the blackboard, just then I hearda very sweet voice saying ‘May I come in Sir’. Thatmoment might have been a normal one to everybodyelse, but I don’t know why I was attracted to that voiceand my eyes automatically turned towards the door. Itried hard to catch a glance of her face but the bloody!Door was in the way. I tried moving myself from onecorner of the bench to the other just for that singleglance of her.

Finally when sir allowed her into the class, I caughta glance of her, the moment felt like I was seeing anangel on earth. A normal girl, glowing in orange coloredSalwar suit, a very cute face and fair complexioned,was nothing less than the most beautiful angel of god.Her face was round as the moon; her innocent eyes,seemed as if they were searching for a place to hide, herlong cascading hair which fluttered with the slightestof breeze, and her faint smile which would make evenmountain ranges to smile with them. All in all her entryinto the class was nothing less than the entry of anactress in Yash raj movies. And after those romanticlines, it won’t be difficult for you guys to say that “I wasin Love”

The class was still going on, but my eyes were fixedon her. It was very difficult for me to concentrate on theblackboard and out of curiosity, I asked the guy sittingnext to me, what her name was. Unfortunately, neitherdid he know her name, thus my curiosity remained


unsatisfied. There was only one way out to get to knowher name and that was through Neha, but as my imagewas that of a very decent guy, in her eyes, I was worriedif this ‘act’ of my would spoil that image. But, stillsisters are those species who help their brothers duringsuch times. So I understood that the signs that destinywanted me to be patient about this affair. I couldn’t askany other guy in the class as this would spread the newsin the class. Now to denote her somehow, I named heras Gori and strangely, my curiosity lowered down.

Two days has passed and still I was unable to findher real name. Neha and Gori had became good friendsas I saw them going to home together every day.Looking at my craze for her, the guy whom I had askedher name at first while, started teasing me with thename of Gori. I too liked the nature of that guy; soonwe turned out to be good friends. His name was Vikas.In a few days I introduced him to Neha and she too wasimpressed by his nature.

Our meetings now were scheduled everyday in thebreak between the classes and still I did not know thereal name of Gori. One day Vikas pushed me to askabout her to Neha and I too decided the same and I didask her. Neha told me that her name was Tanvi. I wasjust asking her name but Neha actually asked Tanvi tocome over and got me introduced to her.

I was scared big time, now knowing that she waswalking towards us and looking at me. I was never somuch scared before this and in few seconds my bodystarted shivering. Such scare, I hadn’t even experiencedin my examination hall also, but my condition wasreally pathetic at that moment. I ignored the eye contactwith her and controlled myself. The first word thatI heard from her was ‘Hi’ to be very obvious. Nehaintroduced me and Vikas to her and that day I couldn’ttalk to her more and all I muttered was a ‘Hello’ whilebeing introduced.


Now after having been introduced, I was willing totalk to her every day, and would find reasons one wayor the other and just for that I had to sacrifice thecompany of the boys going to the Pan Thela in betweenthe class break. Her one look at me was all that wasenough for me to complete my day happily and for thatvery reason I would stand close to the place where girlsusually stand in the break.

For few days the same schedule continued but thenmy desire to talk to her grew and I took a decision todo or die, but dying without talking to her too was notacceptable. So with no options left, next day when shecame out of the class with Neha, I knew that this wasthe best time to get the mission accomplished. I thenengaged Neha with Vikas and I started to talk to Tanvibut still with an empty mind, which didn’t know how tostart a conversation.

Hence I thought of initiating this with a study matterso that, it would make both of us comfortable totalk. Aarya sir gave us a target for minimum numberof questions as the homework for everyday. And Ithought that this would be the best way to initiate aconversation and so I did…

I said: “Hey, have you done all the questions?” Whatmust be the obvious reply to such a stupid question ofmy… she just gave a mild smile and said

Tanvi: “No yaar, I didn’t complete all. How aboutyou?” I knew that this was the best chance to make agood impression on her, so taking care of what I had tosay…

I said: “Yes, I did complete it all and did some extraquestion too”

Tanvi: “That’s great, I’m not even able to completethe given target of questions and you have done a fewextra”

I said: “Hmm…everybody commits mistake yaar. Sodid I”


She broke out into laughter hearing this and at thesame time Aarya sir called us in, after the break andasked us to get back in the class soon and so I had towind up the conversation anyway. Now just to maintainthe same impression in front of her, I began workingout extra questions other than the given daily target.I was good at studies and I knew it, so chose this asthe best way to impress a girl and that would improvemy knowledge too. This helped me gain the attentionof Aarya sir who began noticing me whenever I askhim doubts in the class in spite of sitting at the lastbench. Don’t know about Tanvi but the after effects ofthis were clearly visible on the other class students, whobegan reserving a seat for me next to them in everyclass.

Once by mistake I sat beside an unknown guy incoaching who was so smart that all the girls in our classwould go flat on him but he was such a cartoon thathe didn’t show any interest in any of them. He wasintelligent and sharp, I could see that when I sat besidehim. After the class, we talked for the first time, but thattoo regarding some difficult question. It was then that Icame to know, his name was Nitin. From that day ourfriendship kick started and apparently, we happened tobe from the same colony, which I hadn’t notice but heknew about it.

His home was just few lanes ahead from my home.So we use to go from home to coaching and vice versatogether, on our bi-cycles. In just few days, we turnedout to be such good friends that the guys started teasingus by the name ‘Veer-Zaara’. I didn’t have any ideaabout who they assumed Zaara among us though. Therewas a chick in our coaching who was made for Nitinand her name was Shiny. In fact there were lot morein the league but this was the only ‘gone- case’ amongthem. But Nitin was a simple guy and in case of girls hewas NRI type, (i.e. Naa Raha Interested). In few days,


the boys and girls were talking to each other and therewere no more communication gap between them. In therecess time and between classes, girls would offer toshare their food with the boys and we boys too didn’tmind it. Boys were always hungry, especially when girlsare offering food and the hungriest of them was a guynamed Anuj. I didn’t know much about this guy as hetoo was with his buddy most of the time.

Now, our friendship in the coaching center hadgrown so much that, we all decided to go out to somehotel on the occasion of Anuj’s Birthday. The venue wasthe family hotel of our so called City and the timing was1:00pm. Everyone gathered there slowly and we sat in afamily room. It was sufficiently big enough for all of us;we sat on a single big round table. I sat next to Tanvi,but still I was totally blank about what to talk and howto begin.

Unlike me and the other guys of our coaching, Anujwas the one who was frank with girls and had a Bindassattitude. Frankly speaking, I was the biggest dumb assamongst others. When I heard the girls talking franklyabout setting a girl for some boy or if they liked someguy etc, I was shocked a big time as I couldn’t imaginegirls to be so frank. Actually I haven’t heard or talkedto any girl like this before and this being the first time,I was simply speechless at this behavior of girls.

Some new faces were also there and so we allintroduced to each other in a very formal way. Whenhunger reached its peak point, Anuj asked us all whatwe wished to eat and I was the first to answer him,“Lunch”, I said, which was a little weird I guess becauseeveryone gave me a stupid stare for few seconds. Butthen the entire gang agreed on the same as I orderedlunch for everybody. Meanwhile, I had a little chat withTanvi and I was talking to her more respectfully, whichAnuj didn’t like and shouted at me…


Anuj: “Kya be… Why are you talking to her withAap? Is she elder than you or what? Do you feel shy totalk to her with ‘Tu’?”

Hearing this everybody laughed at me and I felt veryawkward to talk with Tanvi, but this was the first timethat we were together for long time. I didn’t talk to hermuch once the lunch was served on the table and I gavemy full concentration at it.

Finally everybody finished their lunch and the girlsstarted to look at their watches, a hint that they weregetting late to go back home. Some guys who had theirbikes accompanied girls and dropped them on the wayback home and few were had their own scooty. I waswith Anuj and Nitin at the payment desk and the billwas shocking, just as we were figuring out how muchthe girls ate, but still we somehow paid it.

Next day in coaching, everybody started discussingabout the treat and the few other guys, who hadn’tcome for the treat, were jealous and told on us to Aaryasir. Sir, too saw us guys exchanging slam books witheach other and then he gave us all a strict warning thisshould not repeat again. All of us were upset by thisstatement of Sir.

After classes ended, we all decided not to meet ingroups and from the next day everything was back tonormal. Still the girls would pass on their slam bookswithout anybody noticing and we guys too took thebook home and returned them after filling it.

Time was running fast as well as studies and Itoo hadn’t stopped to impress Tanvi by solving morenumber of problems than the given target. This was theonly thing that I could use to impress her otherwise mylooks and dressing sense sucked big time. Whenever wehad to start our conversation we both would ask eachother about the number of questions solved. Those werethe formal talks which we shared just to initiate ourtalks. Still we were not so good friends that we could


share everything with each other. She wasn’t egoistic,about her good looks and would talk with everyonecomfortably, with a guy like me, with just average looks.This is what I liked the most in her, but the momentshe came in front of me, I would become nervous andhaving an eye contact was the most impossible thing forme. Just a glance of her would make my whole day.She was so simple that I didn’t felt like I was talkingto a high class personality, even though she looked likeone.

Now it was the time for my birthday in few days andI ordered for a new dress to the tailor near our house. Iwanted to look special on my birthday. I always rejectedthe offer of dad to buy a new dress for me every yearon my birthday, so this time when I demanded the sameit was easily granted. I was happy that I could celebratemy birthday with my new found friends for the firsttime and the thoughts of Tanvi was going through themind that ‘How would she react today, when she wouldsee me in a new dress and that too as a birthday boy?’

Finally, the day had come when I came to this worldI mean only the date reappeared. I woke up early thatmorning and had a bath. Yes I’m not joking, but I hadto do the most hated job as it was the occasion you feltlike doing the thing you didn’t even think of doing therest of the year. I took blessing of my parents and thenof course the almighty before leaving to the coaching.I purchased some chocolates on the way for the class.I wore the same pinkish color half shirt but my healthwas not permitting me to show it off. Thus I put a jacketover it and entered the class room.

Nobody knew it was my birthday and nobodyremembered it so it was the normal day for them andnobody gave any reaction to my new improved look. Isat at the last bench quietly and till the break I didn’thave the courage to distribute the chocolates. At lastVikas noticed my new improved look and the pink shirt


especially and then I told him that it was my birthdaytoday. He was like a yahoo messenger and soon he toldSir about it, so the after effects of which, I saw in thenext class when Sir announced my birthday to the classand I took out the chocolate bag and distributed it.When I took the chocolate bag to Tanvi, she smiled andwished me. While taking the chocolate she said…

“Can I take only one?” and I was so nervous toanswer her at that moment that I said ‘Yes’ and movedahead. In few hours class was over but the real picturewas not yet complete and the whole group demandedfor a treat. I couldn’t think of affording a treat in somehotel so it then struck me that Neha took us to aSamosa shop on her birthday and I decided to do thesame.

All of us once again visited the Samosa shop togetherand we had fun there while having Samosa. Theexpense was fortunately manageable and within mybudget. Everybody ate and headed back to their home.

Days passed away in fun and we were always lookingforward for those moments when all the friends couldcome together and spend some more time other thanthe classes. So the next event was just few weeks awayand it was the New Year. I purchased a greeting cardfor Neha to wish her. In spite of being her brother, wemaintained a distance and if I gave the greeting card infront of the other guys then that would seem awkward.

When I reached the class room on 1st of January,everybody wished each other and it was like a normalday with nothing special about it. I was searching forthe moment when I could give my greeting card toNeha. During break, after the class, when all guys wentto the Pan Thela and only few of them remained in theclass, I gave her the greeting card.

Tanvi was also sitting next to her and I hadn’tthought of giving any such cards to her as I thought


that our friendship wasn’t too good for all such stuff.Neha was very happy and the obvious reason was thatnobody in the coaching had given such greetings cardsto anybody on this occasion. So Neha was the only girlto get it and It made her feel special for that moment.Tanvi also had a look at the card and said

Tanvi: “Yaar, you haven’t wished me by giving thegreeting card?” I answered it weirdly and…

I said: “Umm… she is my sister yaar that’s why Igave her.” And the immediate reply of Tanvi was…

Tanvi: “Ok then, assume that I too am your sister.”For that moment I thought that she really treats me asher brother and that’s the reason she talks to a guy likeme. But avoiding a talk about it I replied…

I said: “Yes, Yes, why not.”Next day after the first session of classes got over

and we had the break, I was looking for the momentwhen Tanvi was with the least number of friends butthat was impossible and I had to approach her in thatbad situation itself. I went near to her and gave her agreeting card. She was happy for that but I felt veryweird so while giving her the card I said…

“It’s not necessary to make a girl your sister to giveher a greeting card.”

She laughed and accepted the card and kept it withher. That was the first time I had ever given a greetingto a girl who I did not consider as my sister. She tookout slam book from her bag and handed it over to meand asked me to fill it.

At home there was no such place where I could fillthe slam book privately and silently without anybodynoticing it. So I waited for everybody to sleep and thenI filled it. I don’t know why, but that particular day mytwo younger brothers were not sleeping on time. I madethem to read text books as it’s the quickest and the mosteffective sleeping tablets ever.


So finally they slept at around 11:45pm and thenI began the work. I took out her slam book from mybag and began reading the previously filled pages to getsome idea about what to write and how to begin. Nextday when I went to coaching, I returned the slam bookand was expecting Tanvi to read it when she goes backat home. But unlike I expected, she gave the slam bookto her friend and she took it to fill it up. I couldn’t stopher and was helpless.

Around two weeks later she came to talk to meregarding the slam book. She said she liked whatever Ihad written, but asked me, as to why I had left the placefor phone number blank and I felt embarrassed at thatmoment. When I reached home after the class, I beganrequesting Mom to get a landline phone connection atour home.

Dad rejected the request immediately and said thatthere is no need for it, as whenever we had to talk tosomebody, we could use the nearby telephone booth forit. I was trying very hard to convince Mom and dadto see future aspects of it. My younger brothers totallysupported me and finally dad got convinced and agreedat our proposal. In few weeks the landline connectionwas set up and the phone started functioning in hours.

Now having a phone at home makes you feel liketalking to someone and I didn’t have any contact withme except that of Neha. So I called Neha and talked toher for a few minutes being cautious about the chargesof each call. Mom would continuously force me to hangup the phone standing beside me when I was talkingon phone to someone longer than the usual. I didn’teven know how to screw up someone on phone bymaking continuous blank calls. I tried doing this andgave few blank calls to Neha without thinking that shecould have a caller id at her home and they could tracethe number. I got a return call after few minutes and itwas Neha. She caught me and I couldn’t lie to her as



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The Evolution of an Inglorious Moron - A Preview