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The Dracula Rock Show

Senior Script

by Malcolm Sircom

ISBN: 978 1 84237 056 81/220212

Published by

Musicline Publications P.O. Box 15632

Tamworth Staffordshire

B77 5BY 01827 281 431

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THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW

CAST Male Count Dracula Vladimir, a Russian vampire Doctor Watson, a pathologist Professor Moriarty Quasimodo, general handyman to Moriarty “Fingers” Johnson ) “Steroid Stan” ) members of Moriarty’s gang Jagged Mick, an ancient Rock Star Female The Queen of the Night, an Underworld icon Zazu, a Canadian Zombie Mrs.Peterson, Moriarty’s housekeeper Inspector Shirley Holmes of the Dewberry Police Barbara Bell ) Big Time Brenda ) members of Moriarty’s gang 3 Blood Sisters, backing singers Male or Female Narrators 1 & 2 Lead Zombie Lead Vampire Chorus [all with several speaking parts] Zombies Vampires Inspector Holmes’ Police Squad Professor Moriarty’s criminal gang



CONTENTS

List of Scenes and Musical Numbers

Cast 3 Production Notes 6

ACT ONE

Scene One The Underworld 14 Track 1 - Song 1: Stayin’ Undead Zombies & Vampires 14 Track 3 - Song 2: The Master Dracula + Zombies & Vampires 17 Track 4 - Song 3: The Power Of The Night The Queen of the Night 19

Dracula, Zombies & Vampires Track 5 - Song 4: Everybody Gotta Rock Dracula + Queen, 21 Zombies & Vampires Scene Two A Street in Dewberry 23 Track 6 - Song 5: Walkin’ The Beat Insp. Holmes + Police Squad 23 Track 8 - SFX 3: Horror Chord 24 Scene Three Professor Moriarty’s Laboratory 26 Track 10 - Song 7: We Will Rob You Moriarty, Mrs Peterson, 29

Quasimodo + Criminals Scene Four “Pop Idol” audit ions [optional] 30 Scene Five Outside the Dewberry Assembly Rooms 31 Track 11 - SFX 5: Horror Chord 31 Track 12 - SFX 6: Horror Chord 32 Scene Six Inside the Assembly Rooms 33 Track 13 - Song 10: Who Needs Love? The Blood Sisters 34 Track 14 - Song 11: Honky-Tonk Love Jagged Mick, Blood Sisters + 35

Company



List of Scenes and Musical Numbers

ACT TWO

Scene One A Street in Dewberry 37 Track 15 - Song 12: The Frog March Police, Criminals + optional 37

Holmes, Zombies & Vampires

Scene Two The Underworld 39 Track 16 - Song 13: When You’re Shy Zazu 40 Scene Three A Rock Venue 41 Track 17 - Song 14: Reprise: The Master Dracula 41 Track 18 - Song 15: The Dracula Rock Show Jagged Mick + Blood Sisters 42 Scene Four Professor Moriarty’s Crimatorium 44 Track 20 - Song 16: So Much Good Holmes + Police Squad, with 46

Moriarty & Criminals Track 21 - Song 17: Reprise: So Much Good Moriarty + Criminals 48 Scene Five A Rock Venue 50 Track 22 - Song 18: Going Home Dracula, Zombies & Vampires, 51

with Quasimodo Scene Six The Underworld 53 Track 23 - Song 19: The Way You Are Vladimir & Zazu 53 Scene Seven Dracula’s Chamber 55 Track 25 - Song 20: Dewberry Bill Dracula 56 Scene Eight The Underworld 58 Track 26 - Song 21: Brains! Zombies, Vampires, 58

The Company Track 27 - Song 22: Reprise:Everybody The Company 61

Gotta Rock Photocopyable Song Lyrics 62


THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW PRODUCTION NOTES

Staging This is a show that moves from location to location throughout, and will provide creative challenges to all departments involved in the production. Great opportunities exist for the art department to design sets and build props for The Dracula Rock Show. The way that the show moves from scene to scene will depend on the facilities of the theatre. Drop or roll cloths will give the smoothest transition but scenery flats and liberal use of tabs (curtains) will give good effect. Alternatives are suggested throughout these notes. The show commences with Scene One – The Underworld. This is the place of the living dead!! (Purgatory not Hell!!) Perhaps large columns or arches; there could be recesses for tombs to be located and these could be painted with fluorescent dyes, illuminated with UV strip lighting (black light). A tomb could be situated in a prominent place as could be a skeleton hanging strategically. Bats are evident, hanging from the ceiling. Large spiders’ webs hang from the columns and pillars, maybe with oversize grotesque spiders. This can be as outrageous a set as you want (and resources allow) and needs to be a full stage to accommodate opening and closing musical numbers. The transition to Scene Two starts with the Narrators giving a short link dialogue. This could be done in front of the house tabs or mid-tabs if flats are used for scenery. Alternatively, the dialogue could ensue as a roll or drop cloth is placed in position. Either way, position of the actors and lighting should draw attention away from the scene change. Scene Two – A Street in Dewberry is fairly non-specific in location or style and could use a cloth or could simply be performed in front of tabs with suitable props indicating the location, i.e. a street name sign, pillar box, street lamp etc. This is a link scene that allows the stage crew time to set the next major scene, Scene Three – Professor Moriarty’s Laboratory. Although this is not a long scene it does require a large stage area to create the right impression of the laboratory. It does not need to be the whole stage by necessity, but does need to give the feeling of space filled with years of failed experiments! As stated in the stage direction at the start of the scene, it is an untidy, cluttered place as befits a mad professor. The items stated in the stage direction are the bare minimum for this set and could be supplemented by all sorts of impedimenta borrowed from the science block! Large retorts and distilling flasks filled with brightly coloured solutions (vegetable dyes), possibly a discretely hidden smoke machine providing a gentle stream of smoke from the apparatus all add to the atmosphere. Some phials containing brightly coloured liquids (vegetable dyes – especially blue) are present on a bench. Signs could be present which indicate nuclear or bio-hazards. Strobes, rope lights will add to the atmosphere. The skeleton should, ideally, have a separate head to the body. This is the playground of a mad professor! This scene is followed by the optional Scene Four or continues with Scene Five.


Scene Four – The Auditions is entirely optional and could be in front of Main Tabs or on a separate stage area e.g. to one side of the main stage. ‘Pop Idol’ or ‘The X-factor’ type layout with the narrators, seated as a panel of judges, creating the barbed comments which are left to the producer to create ad-lib, dependent on the acts that you have. If you decide not to include this scene, the show continues into the link – Scene Five. Scene Five – Outside the Dewberry Assembly Rooms. Again, this can be a cloth or in front of tabs set, depending on resources etc, allowing the set to be changed from ‘Moriarty’s Laboratory’ to the interior of the ‘Assembly Rooms’. The same setting as Scene Two could be utilized with, maybe, some small additions such as posters advertising a show or event at the Assembly Rooms or signs indicating “Queue here” etc, “Box Office” etc As an alternative, the scene could be the front entrance of the Dewberry Assembly Rooms and probably has large stone steps leading up to a rather (rundown now) grandiose entrance door. To one side of the doors is a large billboard advertising “THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW featuring JAGGED MICK & THE BLOOD SISTERS”. A short link dialogue from the Narrators at the end of Scene Five takes us into the next scene. Scene Six – Inside the Assembly Rooms is set inside the Assembly Rooms, as the audience are arriving for the evening’s performance. The scene is set in the auditorium with a stage area for Dracula to announce and the acts to perform. This could be achieved by bringing the ‘stage-audience’ into the theatre’s (real) auditorium – setting out some extra seats at an angle so that the real audience can see the actors - and Dracula and the Acts performing on the actual stage. This would engage your audience with the scene as well as creating the depth required for this scene. This scene concludes Act One. Act Two Scene One – A Street in Dewberry is the same half-set as utilized in Act One Scene Two. This is nothing more than an entr’act that sets the stage for Act Two. This scene opens onto Scene Two – The Underworld. This is a very short scene, with only two characters in it and consequently needn’t be the same, large set as Act One Scene One. I would suggest having this scene as a half stage set as this allows space behind to set the larger scenes (Scene Four and Scene Seven). The interior of a tomb or similar with the same sort of decorations, i.e. bats, spiders webs, fluorescent painted items etc would suffice without taking up a large portion of the stage area. This moves via Narrator’s dialogue into Scene Three – A Rock Venue. This is also a small link-scene that can be performed on a half-set or similar. It just needs enough space for the singers and their routine. It can be set in front of black tabs if need be, anything that could represent a small rock club or similar. All of these scenes so far can be set in front of the main set for the next major scene. Scene Four is a full set as it encompasses a chorus number and line dance. It is described as ‘Professor Moriarty’s Crimatorium’,


which is suitably vague! It could be a museum sort of place with crime related items around the room or it could be ‘Cluedo’ type setting of Edwardian Drawing Room/Library. Preferably, there should be some chairs about, suitable to the type of setting chosen. Scene Five returns to A Rock Venue as per Scene Three. Again it is a short link-scene and could easily be acted out in front of black tabs or a half-set. This scene allows the next one to be set up behind it allowing a smooth transition to Scene Six – The Underworld. This can be exactly the same setting as Scene Two above as it is a very short scene with one duet. As mentioned above (Scene Two), a half set here will allow the full set for Dracula’s Chamber to be set behind. Scene Seven – Dracula’s Chamber is the focus of this show! Although it is not a long scene, it needs to be all that Dracula is! Set in the style of Bram Stoker’s Transylvanian, fifteenth century castle with plenty of horror! Gore! Whatever! Possibly a stag’s head with antlers high up over a fireplace and a scattering of instruments of torture, such as chains, manacles etc hanging from the walls. Possibly some serio-comic paintings with prominent titles “Dracula v Frankenstein”: “Dracula v Godzilla”: “Dracula v The Hulk”, etc. A red velvet, draped coffin needs to be prominent on the set. It could be stood up nearly vertical, or it could be horizontal on a catafalque as if lying in state. Whatever your resources allow! If it is not feasible to change from this set back to The Underworld for Scene Eight, it is possible to act out this scene in Dracula’s Chamber and use this same set for the walkdowns etc. Choreography The choreography for this show is largely self-explanatory. The opening number Song One – Stayin’ Undead has a creepy feel to it. The movement of the Zombies and Vampires should emphasise this feel. Song Two – The Master has an Elvis Presley Rock and Roll feel to it and is a full chorus number. The Queen of the Night, accompanied by Dracula and the Vampires and Zombies sing the next number, Song Three – The Power of the Night. This is a traditional tango number and provides great opportunities for choreography. Song Four – Everybody Gotta Rock is a rock and roll number with a traditional rock and roll dance break set midway. Song Five – Walking the Beat is another rock number with a short dance break, sung by all of the police officers. Song Seven – We Will Rob You is quite a conspiratorial number sung by Moriarty and his gang of villains. It has several mini-dance breaks in it, which need movement choreographing. Who Needs Love? – Song Ten is a rock ballad sung by the Blood Sisters: straightforward. Song Eleven – Honky-Tonk Lover is a lively rock and roll sung in the style of Mick Jagger and needs to have the character Jagged Mick strutting around the stage in the style of Jagger, who used the stage to great effect. It is a full chorus number involving the Blood Sisters and concludes Act One. Act Two opens with Song Twelve – The Frog March which is a full chorus number involving all of the Police and the Criminals including Holmes if required. It is a lively rock number. The next song is a solo sung by Zazu, Song Thirteen – When You’re Shy and needs


little movement. Song Fourteen is a reprise of Song Two. The next number is the title song Song Fifteen – The Dracula Rock Show and has a distinct Abba feel to it. Choreograph accordingly. A distinct change of tempo is felt in the next two numbers as we move to a Country Blues riff. Song Sixteen – So Much Good includes a break to a line dance mid-way, whilst Song Seventeen is a reprise without the line dance. The tempo slows down in Song Eighteen – Going Home to a moderate pace with a very traditional fifties ‘Calamity Jane’ feel to it, sung by the Vampires and Zombies. The next number, Song Nineteen – The Way You Are, is a duet sung by Zazu and Vladimir; again, straightforward. Dracula’s solo – Dewberry Bill (Song Twenty) is a parody of the 1940’s hit – Blueberry Hill and is a rock ‘n’ roll standard. Song Twenty One – Brains! Is a comedy number with a steady swing feel to it, sung by the Zombies and Vampires accompanied by the whole cast. The final number Song Twenty Two is a reprise of Song Four and is a full chorus number that everyone joins in. Costume Dracula Black dinner suit and waistcoat (either black or florid), white shirt with

bow tie and a black cloak with a scarlet red lining. His face should be made up with ivory white, with his eyes ringed with carmine to create a ghoulish appearance. Fangs complete his appearance.

Vladimir Like the other Vampires, he is dressed in a decrepit (distressed) dinner

suit, white shirt and bow tie. The legs of the trousers can be shorter than normal and shredded to enhance the comic ghoul effect. His mouth is scarlet red, the eyes either scarlet or carmine, his face is ivory to create a ‘death mask’.

Dr Watson Tweed overcoat, white shirt with ‘bat’ wing collar, tweed tie and

bowler hat. He is every bit the Victorian, retired, military doctor in his appearance and manner.

Moriarty He is a professor of maths and a criminal genius in Doyle’s stories. He

should be dressed in suit trousers and waistcoat over a shirt with Victorian collar and tie and have a white ‘lab’ coat over the top. His appearance should be somewhat sinister and NOT dapper. In Scene Five, he appears poorly disguised as a street vendor, with a very bad false beard and comic glasses. In Scene Six his appearance changes again to Mafia style with black suit, black shirt, white tie, black hat with white hat-band and dark shades.

Quasimodo A hunchback who wears old army boots, trousers with ragged legs and

a piece of string to hold them up and a ragged yak-skin jacket over his bare chest. His face is unshaven and he looks decidedly unpleasant.


Jagged Mick Is probably best caricatured on Mick Jagger, painting him a little larger than life. Best based on the 70’s style rather than the 60’s as this allows for a more flamboyant approach with bright satin shirt and large collar, flair-bottom trousers and chunky chukka boots. Hair should be thick and below collar length.

Queen of Night A very regal figure. She is elegantly dressed, though rather Gothic, in

keeping with the environment: maybe a rich purple full-length, pettitcoated dress, with a high collar at the back, and some sort of starburst head dress.)

Zazu White shroud, greenish grey skin colour, black lips and sunken eyes. Mrs Peterson If you wish to keep strictly within the period set, then a white laced

pinafore over a long, full dress, topped with a mop cap or bonnet would be appropriate. Or you could add a comic style of 50’s housekeeper with a shorter, bright apron, topped with a head scarf over rollers as a complete contrast to the other characters.

Shirley Holmes A female version of Sherlock Holmes! Could wear a caped overcoat

and deer-stalker cap and carry a cane – even smoke a pipe! Or it could be in the modern style of female police inspector as portrayed by Inspector Jean Darblay in Juliet Bravo, a 1980’s police tv series or similar, more recent, programmes. In Scene Nine, she is dressed in traditional country and western style for the line dance.

Moriarty’s Gang This mixed bag of male and female misfits can be stereotyped as

much as you wish: one in a striped jumper and mask, with a bag marked “Swag” over his shoulder; another carrying a violin case; another dressed Mafia-style, black suit and shirt with white tie, and black hat with white hatband, possibly carrying a violin case; one of the girls can be very tart-y, another in leathers, yet another in martial arts’ costume.

Blood Sisters This backing group are dressed in vampire style, with perhaps ankle

length evening dresses in bright red (sequinned) with a short cape (maybe purple), black eye makeup, fangs (either real or painted on), blood red lips and stiletto heels.

Zombies White shrouds, greenish grey skin colour, black lips and sunken eyes.

Very ghoulish! Vampires The male vampires should, if possible, be dressed in decrepit

(distressed) dinner suits, white shirts and bow ties (torn and tattered in some cases). The legs of the trousers can be shorter than normal to


enhance the comic ghoul effect. The mouths are scarlet red, the eyes either scarlet or carmine, the faces ivory to create a ‘deathly face’ not clown. The girls could be dressed identically.

Police Squad Traditional police uniforms. Could be 19th century uniform with cape

or modern style. Switch to country and western outfits for Scene Nine. Lighting and Sound Act One Scene One, Act Two Scene Two, Act Two Scene Six and Act Two Scene Eight – The Underworld is dark and sinister. Pools of red, green and blue lighting on the walls and floor of the set, plus pools of white light bursting onto the acting areas as if sunlight is breaking through the cracks in the tomb walls. This can be achieved by using suitable ‘gobos’ in a hard focused lantern. Fluorescent paint can be illuminated with UV lighting to enhance skeletons, spiders webs, arches etc. Consider utilizing ‘footlights’ or floor lighting downstage to enhance the shadows of the cast’s faces and make them more ghoulish. Use smoke machines to create ‘atmosphere’. Colours such as Bright Red and Congo Blue and Dark Yellow Green can be spilt onto the scenery to give effect. As Song One is to a disco beat, the lighting could be sequenced, during this number to switch to the music. Thunder and Lightning cues the entrance of Dracula in this scene. The Sound Effect is to be found on the accompanying CD. The lightning effect can be produced by strobes or by ‘strobing’ scanning lights or effects’ projectors. Scene Two – A Street in Dewberry and Act Two Scene One is illuminated generally with soft, warm colours. A harsh greenish/yellow down light, as if from a gas mantle, could indicate the pool of light from a street lamp. Scene Three – Professor Moriarty’s Laboratory is an untidy, cluttered place and could be lit using soft colours as an overall setting with pools of harsher steel blue or aqua blue on the bench and acting areas. Low lighting to produce long shadows would also enhance the ‘creepy’ feel of this set. Strobes and rope lights could be added for effect, as could local pin-spot lighting on to the retorts etc. The sound effects are all included on the CD and in this scene the only effect is a particularly long, drawn-out sound of unbolting doors, footsteps, more unbolting, loo flushing etc. Scene Four – The Auditions can be lit ad hoc. A follow spot would suffice or it could be more grandiose depending on the set used. Scene Five – Outside the Dewberry Assembly Rooms is lit in a similar fashion to Scene Two. There are no special effects nor sound effects other than the horror chord, in this scene.


Scene Six - Inside the Assembly Rooms is an auditorium/stage set and can be lit to suit the staging used for this scene: plenty of red lighting for Song Ten – Who Needs Love? This reverts to the main lighting at the end of the song before switching again to beat synchronized lighting for Song Eleven – Honky-Tonk Lover. There are no specific sounds in this scene. Act Two Scene Three and Scene Five – A Rock Venue just needs straightforward lighting such as PAR Can lights with strong colours which can be beat synchronized in Song Fifteen. Scene Four – Professor Moriarty’s Crimatorium is warmly lit with soft, warm colours until the line dance – Song Sixteen (So Much Good). Bright lighting for the song and dance routine, synchronized if desired, before returning to primo lighting plot after the song. A sound effect of a Doorbell is required in this scene and this can be found on the CD. Scene Seven – Dracula’s Chamber can be lit in a similar fashion to the Underworld scenes. Sound Effects - SFX Act One Page Scene One SFX 1 Thunder sound effect for Dracula’s entrance. 8 Scene Two SFX 2 Violin virtuoso clip. 16 SFX 3 Horror Chord at end of scene (Music 6). 16 Scene Three SFX 4 Door unbolting, limping footsteps, door unbolting 18

repeated several times, creaking door open, footsteps, toilet flush, footsteps.

Scene Five SFX 5 Horror Chord (Music 8) 23 SFX 6 Horror Chord (Music 9) 24 Act Two Scene Four SFX 7 Doorbell. 37 Scene Seven SFX 8 Doorbell. 47


Properties

Act One Scene Two A Violin & Bow [A P.C.] Scene Three

An intercom A Bunsen burner An atom bomb

A skeleton A skull A watch [Mrs Peterson] Remote control device Phial of blue liquid Scene Five Poster advertising “THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW, featuring JAGGED MICK & THE BLOOD SISTERS” False beard and glasses [Moriarty] Tray of blue drinks [Moriarty] £10 note [Moriarty] Scene Six Magnifying glass [Holmes]

Act Two Scene Three Feather duster [Mrs Peterson] Violin & bow [Holmes] Watch [Moriarty] Tray with glasses of “champagne” [Watson] Scene Seven Chain with manacles Lipstick & mirror [Holmes] Portable CD player [Watson] Hip flask [Watson]


THE DRACULA ROCK SHOW ACT ONE

SCENE ONE - THE UNDERWORLD (A sinister, cheerless place, rather like catacombs, with mould and fungus on the walls. The designer can have a ball! E.g., there could be recesses in which can be seen fluorescent red eyes. There can be various colour spreads – red, green, blue. There can be a skeleton hanging from chains. Bats can be roosting…let your imagination run riot… Enter THE VAMPIRES [male and female] to a disco beat. [Suggested minimum 6] The men are in decrepit dinner suits, white shirts, some torn. Some trousers can be half-mast. Mouths very red, eyes can also be highlighted red, the faces deathly pale – but not white face, as in clowns... The girls can either be in female dress equivalent, or dressed the same as the men.)

TRACK 1 - SONG ONE - STAYIN’ UNDEAD Vampires: [Verse 1] We’re not alive, and yet we’re not corpses. We’re the result of supernatural forces. All around you, out of sight, Vampires – creatures of the night! What you see ain’t an illusion, All we need’s a blood transfusion! [Refrain] When you got no heart, it’s a groovy start to Stayin’ undead. When you got no soul you can rock’n’roll, while

Stayin’ undead. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ undead. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ undead. Ah… (Enter THE ZOMBIES [male and female] [Suggested minimum 6] Just as the Vampires are mainly in black, so the Zombies are mainly in white. White shroud-like costumes, green-grey faces with black lips, and possibly black rings under the eyes.) Zombies: [Verse 2] We’re what you call an underground movement. We’re all brain dead, with not a hope of improvement. Love the darkness, hate the light. Zombies – creatures of the night! We can’t get no satisfaction. All we get is putrefaction!


Vampires & Zombies: [Refrain] When you got no heart, it’s a groovy start to Stayin’ undead. When you got no soul you can rock’n’roll, while

Stayin’ undead. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ undead. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ undead. Ah… Stayin’ undead! [END OF SONG]

(Enter NARRATOR 1) Narr 1: Yes, night creatures. Zombies… Zombies: (Quiet, menacing chant) Zombies, zombies, zombies!

(Enter NARRATOR 2) Narr 2: And Vampires… Vampires: (Quiet, menacing chant) Vampires, vampires, vampires! Narr 1: Zombies. Brain-dead flesh-eaters. Narr 2: Vampires. Ghoulish blood-suckers. Narr 1: A deadly combination. Narr 2: A threat to civilized life as we know it. Narr 1: That is their reputation, Narr 2: And it is completely and utterly Both: Wrong! Narr 1: It’s true some zombies were the result of voodoo ceremonies, and

craved human flesh. Narr 2: And some early vampires sought human blood, Narr 1: But once they founded their own underground society Narr 2: They became harmless to human beings. Narr 1: Content to eat the flesh Narr 2: And suck the blood Narr 1: Of their environmental food-chain. Narr 2: Rats, mice, Narr 1: Slugs, worms, Narr 2: Beetles, leeches, Narr 1: In other words… Both: Yuk! Narr 1: But they were happy and contented in their enclosed little world, Narr 2: Which was a series of vast hidden catacombs underneath the town of

Dewberry, Narr 1: Until one day a decadent human artefact made its appearance amongst

them. Narr 2: The object that made its way down from the daylight world was… Both: A television! Narr 1: When they observed all the trappings of Western culture… Narr 2: The pop music, the game shows,


Narr 1: The soaps, the adverts, Narr 2: The Terminator films, Both: They began to rumble with discontent…

(Narrators exit) Zombies: Rumble, rumble, rumble… Vampires: Discontent, discontent, discontent… A Zombie: Hey, you guys, why can’t we have the kind of fun humans have? A Vampire: Right on, man.

(All murmur in agreement) Lead Vampire: I want to taste a Big Mac! All: Yeh! Lead Vampire: With loads of ketchup! All: Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup! Lead Zombie: I want to go on my own TV show. A Zombie: Wotcha gonna call it? Lead Zombie: I’m A Zombie – Get Me Outa Here!

(All roar approval) A Vampire: We all want to get outa here.

A Zombie: Yeh, but how we gonna do that? You know we’ve been sealed in for ages.

Lead Vampire: There’s only one way. We have to summon the Master! (All gasp)

A Vampire: Count Dracula! But we only call him in emergencies. A Zombie: We haven’t summoned him for over 100 years. A Vampire: But isn’t this an emergency? I say we summon the Master! Lead Zombie: We summon the Master! All those in favour say “Aye”. All: Aye! Lead Vampire: Then let us incant the summons. All: [Chanting, starting softly, getting louder and louder] Master, master, sleeping sound. In your coffin underground, Show once more your every feature.

You’re the ultimate Night Creature. Come to us, all gathered here,

Master, master, now appear! (Track 2 - SFX 1 - Thunder and lightning. Enter DRACULA. He is dressed in traditional style, black dinner suit, with either black or slightly florid waistcoat, white shirt, bow tie, and long black cloak with scarlet lining: and, of course, the slightly pale face, with red-rimmed eyes, and fangs [but only if they don’t interfere with singing] )


TRACK 3 - SONG TWO - THE MASTER Dracula: Look at me in all my glory, the gory Count Dracula! Are you ready to adore me?

You won’t see any leader more spectacular! You need me, require me, And, man, do you deserve me! Convince me, inspire me, By the way you worship and serve me! Are you feelin’ down? Chorus [Vampires & Zombies:] Yeh! Dracula: Wanna hit the town? Chorus: Yeh! Dracula: Well, baby, I’m your fixer. Tell me the truth, do you want eternal youth? Well, baby, have I got an elixir! ‘Cos I’m the Master, I sure do love the role of the Master, The Master of your soul!

I’m the King! And one more thing, I’m the master of Rock’n’roll!

Chorus: Yes, he’s the Master, He sure does like the role of the Master, The Master of our soul! He’s the King! And one more thing, He’s the Master of Rock’n’roll! Chorus: You’re the Number One! Show us how it’s done! We want to be how you’ll be. We are at your call, and, to cap it all, You’re so very groovy! Dracula: Well, I’m the Master, I sure do love the role of the Master, The Master of your soul!

I’m the King! And one more thing, I’m the master of Rock’n’roll!

Chorus: Yes, he’s the Master, He sure does love the role of the Master, The Master of our soul! He’s the King! And one more thing, He’s the Master of Rock’n’roll! Dracula: [With an Elvis hip-gyration] Uh-huh-huh! [END OF SONG] Dracula: You summon me from a hundred-year sleep. A Vampire: And twenty five days. Lead Zombie: Where did they come from? The Vampire: Leap years.


Dracula: But in my sleep, I still see all; hear all. Both in the human world and here, in the underworld. And what I hear are rumbles of discontent.

Zombies: Rumble, rumble, rumble… Vampires: Discontent, discontent, discontent… Dracula: Silence when you speak to me! How can you want more of what you

haven’t got? More discos: More junk food: More computer games. A Zombie: More brains! Zombies: Brains! Dracula: Brains I can’t supply. As for the rest, well, I can’t just go up to the

humans and say “Send us down truckloads of goodies.” Forget it. Zombies: Bigger rumbles, bigger rumbles… Vampires: More discontent, more discontent… Dracula: You dare defy me? It seems you’ve grown more militant in the last

century. What is it you do want? A Vampire: We want to go – upstairs! All: Upstairs! Dracula: You mean to bed? A Zombie: No – to the surface. A Vampire: The world of the humans.

(A roar of approval) Dracula: But remember what happened last time you mixed with humans. You ate

them. A Zombie: That was over a hundred years ago. Lost our taste for them. A Vampire: Yes – we’ve got used to our diet of unmentionable things. Dracula: But the big problem is – how do you mingle with humans without being

noticed? Where is it that people dress as weirdly as you lot? The only thing I can think of is as spectators at a Test cricket match.

A Vampire: But we want to join the living, not the dead. Dracula: I didn’t think it would appeal. So it’s time for some lateral thinking. A Zombie: Duh – what’s that? Dracula: The opposite of straight thinking. The Zombie: No, I mean what’s thinking? Dracula: Forgive me, friends, I’d forgotten Zombies are brainless. I myself am

more a creator of problems than a solver of them, but I know the very person you need. Like me, she has eyes and ears everywhere, and is even now on her way to join us. And here she is, direct from over 200 years with The Magic Flute - the one and only Queen of The Night!

(Enter THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, a very regal figure. elegantly dressed, though rather Gothic, in keeping with the environment. Maybe a rich purple dress, with a high collar at the back, and some sort of starburst head dress.)


TRACK 4 - SONG THREE - THE POWER OF THE NIGHT Higher Voices: Queen of the Night! Lower Voices: Queen of the Night! Queen: Come and embrace the darkness. What could bring more delight? All your desires can surface – Surrender to the Power of the Night! Vampires: [Intense whisper] Night! Zombies: Power of the Night! Queen: Sounds of the air are altered, tastes have a sharper bite. Dracula: [Hisses] Bite! Queen: Fragrances tempt and tease you – Surrender to the Power of the Night! Vampires: [Intense whisper] Night! All: Power of the Night! Queen: Sensations and pleasures are sweeter, Fading in dawn’s early light. For you can scale life’s highest tower If you just surrender to the Power! V’s & Z’s: The Power, surrender to the Power, the Power! The Power, surrender to the Power of the Night! Queen: Under the stars there’s magic. You can reach any height. Nothing will be denied you – Surrender to the Power of the Night! Vampires: [Intense whisper] Night! Zombies: Power of the Night! Queen: Surrender to the Power of the Night! Vampires: [Intense whisper] Night! Zombies: Power of the Night! Queen: Surrender… Vampires: Surrender… Zombies: Surrender… Queen: To the Power of the Night! All: Power of the Night! [END OF SONG]

Queen: Count Dracula! Dracula: (With a grand sweeping bow) Your Majesty. Queen: Having trouble with your electorate, I see. You should employ better

spin-doctors. They’ve kept me in power since the 1790s. Dracula: Yes, but I’ve been in a coma. Queen: So are most leaders. Doesn’t stop them running their countries. What

seems to be the problem? Dracula: My subjects are revolting. Queen: You can say that again. A Zombie: Hey, man, she called us revolting.


A Vampire: Like, she likes us. A Zombie: Let’s hear it for the Queen! (All cheer) Dracula: They want to go and join the humans. Queen: Mmm. I must think. But first, they must all promise not to harm the

humans - horrible though they are. Dracula: Do you give me your solemn oath not to eat human flesh or suck their

blood? All: We do. A Vampire: What about you, master? Will you still sink your fangs into the necks of

maidens? All: Aye! Dracula: That’s different. That’s expected of me. Queen: Ah, I have it! Humans enjoy themselves by going to rock concerts and

musicals and suchlike. And they often dress in weird costumes for the occasion.

Dracula: You want to take them to the Glastonbury Festival? Queen: No, We will create our own rock band – one so bizarre it makes Iron

Maiden look more like Maiden Aunt. And its fans would dress and look just as hideous as you bunch of deadbeats.

A Zombie: (Admiringly) Did you hear that? She called us deadbeats. A Vampire: She loves us! Queen: We need to find three backing girls singers dressed as Vampires, and a

front man who looks like a Zombie. Dracula: You don’t mean?... Queen: Yes – A Mick Jagger look-alike! Dracula: Friends, your troubles will soon be over. (All cheer) The Queen and I

will ascend to the surface and find ourselves a rock group. Its followers will be encouraged to dress like yourselves, and once it’s up and running, I will send for you. (All cheer) But we cannot leave these catacombs uncared-for. We need two volunteers – a Housekeeper and a Caretaker. Who would like to be Housekeeper? (A Zombie hand goes up timidly.)

A Zombie: It’s Zazu, the shy one. Another Zombie: She wouldn’t say shoo to a moose. 1st Zombie: Don’t you mean “boo to a goose”? 2nd Zombie: She’s Canadian. Dracula: That’s settled then. Zazu it is. And who will be Caretaker in our

absence? (A Vampire stands up.)

The Vampire: I will. Vladimir, from Vladivostok. Can’t leave a lady down here all alone. Dracula: Let’s give them Vladimir and Zazu a big hand. (All applaud. Vladimir

takes a modest bow, whilst Zazu reacts with utmost shyness). Your Majesty, there’s one thing that bugs me. Where do we get our rock-group from?


Queen: Easy. We audition. Plenty of wannabe rock stars around. Dracula: (To the assembly) And once the band’s playing, so will you be. You can

mix with the audiences, and no-one will be any the wiser. And after the shows, you can go out clubbing, no questions asked. What do you say to that?

Lead Vampire: Let’s rock’n’roll! (All cheer)

TRACK 5 - SONG FOUR - EVERYBODY GOTTA ROCK All: Everybody gotta rock! Everybody gotta roll! Rock, rock, rock, by day and night. Roll, roll, roll, way out of sight! This is what you got to do:- A-wa, ba-ba-loo-ba, a-wa-bam-boo!

Rock’n’roll dance Chorus of Vampires & Zombies: Everybody gotta rock! Dracula: You gotta rock! Chorus: Everybody gotta roll! Dracula: Come on and roll! All: Rock, rock, rock, by day and night. Roll, roll, roll, way out of sight! Dracula: This is what you got to do:- All: A-wa, ba-ba-loo-ba, a-wa-bam-boo! Dracula: Everybody shout yeh-yeh! Chorus: Yeh-yeh! Queen: Yee-ha! Chorus: Yee-ha! Dracula: [with Elvis wiggle] Uh-huh! Chorus: [with Elvis wiggle] Uh-huh! All: A-wa, ba-ba-loo-ba, a-wa-bam-boo! [END OF SONG]

(Exit all)

END OF SCENE ONE

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