TheDoorsofJoy19MEDITATIONSFORAUTHENTICLIVING

DANIELODIER

AbouttheAuthor

DanielOdierwasborninGenevain1945.Heisanovelist,screenwriterandpoet,andhaspublishedover46worksincludingthebestsellingTantricQuest

(InnerTraditions),andDesire:TheTantricPathtoAwakening(InnerTraditions).AnaisNincalledhim“anoutstandingwriteranddazzlingpoet”.TheauthorbeganhisstudieswithKaluRinpochein1968andremainedhisdiscipleuntilhispassingin1989.In2004,OdierreceivedtheCh’anordinationintheLint’siandCaodongschoolsinChina,aswellaspermissiontoteachtheZhaoZhou

Ch’anlineageintheWest.DanieltaughtTantraandBuddhisminseveralAmericanUniversitiesin1995.Hecontinuestorunworkshopsandseminarsin

Europe,CanadaandtheUnitedStates.

Tableofcontents

Preface

1.JoyattheHeartofEverything2.OrganicJoy

3.DevelopingInternalSilence4.FreeingOneselfofCertainties

5.DoWeHaveaChoice?6.LookingfortheTruth7.SpontaneityandFear8.TheIllusionofChange9.ThePowerofDesire10.WhatisReal?

11.Thoughts,EmotionsandSensations12.DevelopingPresenceintheWorld13.Joy,TowardsaGreaterPerfection

14.ABalanceBetweenAutomaticPilotandConsciousness15.CreativeJoy

16.TheReintegrationofChaos17.Consciousness

18.Love19.BodyandMind

Preface

DURINGTHELASTTWENTYYEARS,IhavetaughtinEurope,theUnitedStatesandSouth America. I slowly realised that, although teaching was meant to beliberating,itwasreallyjustarepackagingofanewtheoryoftheworld.Thishas,inturn,creatednewshacklesthatkeephumanbeingsinacloseduniverse.I discovered Zen when I was fifteen years old through the monumental

writingsofD.T.Suzuki.Fromthattimeon,Ifelt theiconoclasticpoweroftheoldChinesemasterswhopromoted the completedeconditioningof anybelief,includingBuddhism.ButIwasstilltooyoungtorenounceanidealsystemthatwouldallowmetoachieveinnerpeace.Later on, I belonged to the first wave of Western invaders who hoped to

discoverwisdomontheroadsofIndia.IencounteredDzogchen,personifiedbyDudjomRinpocheandChatralRinpoche, theVignanBhairavTantra, thanks totheChineseyogi,C.M.Chen,andfinally,theVajrayanataughtbytheonewhowouldbecomemymaster,KaluRinpoche.IfollowedthatpathforsevenyearsandIlearnedagreatdealfromthismagnificenthumanbeingwhoradiatedtotallove.Littlebylittle,themagicaluniverseoftheTibetansfeltincreasinglydistantfromWestern thinking and I turned towards the Shaivism ofKashmir, whosephilosophy, strippedofanyculturalmarkings, touchedmedeeply. ImetLalitaDevi,ayoginiwholivedasahermitandwhopassedontomethespandaandpratyabhijnaways.Herextreme,directapproachwentstraight to thepointandavoidedallspiritualtraps.Sheknewhowtodebunkconditionings;bysheddinglightonfears,sheforcedonetobefearless;shedestroyedthefaçadebygivingaccesstospontaneity.ThiswasnotanapproachIwasusedtolearningbutratheran introduction to asceticism, a renunciation of all fixations. The goalwas tobecome a human being again, to be fully open to theworld, alive and full ofdesire and passion,without the smallest pretension of being anything else butspontaneous.Afterourseparation,andfacedwiththeimplausibilityoffindingheragain,I

feltoncemoretheattractionofZenandenteredseveralcommunitiesinordertodeepenthatpractice.Ihadtheopportunitytoobservethatadheringtobeliefsandruleslimitedconsciousness.Irealisedthatsystemswouldreconstructthemselvesinside me and that this constant quest prevented all authentic liberation. Theconformityandpuritanismofthesespiritualcirclesalwaysfelttoo‘religious’for

me.Oneessentialingredientwasmissing:joy.While teaching, Icouldseehowdifficult itwasformenot tobuildsystems

similar to those thathad limitedme inmyquest. I could see thatmy studentswould inevitably adhere to the propensity we all have of building conceptuallimitationsinordertogivemorevaluetoourknowledgeandexperience.Overtime,asIwasgettingclosertoChan(ChineseZen)andtotheessenceof

theKashmirShaivism, Ibecamemoreandmore iconoclastic, and transformedmyselfintoaspiritualanarchistwhoseonlyambitionwastoreachanauthenticfreedom by forgetting the path that had always been followed. I would oftenrecall the words of Montaigne: ‘I am a man and nothing that is human isindifferenttome’.Itappearedmoreandmoreevident tomethat itwasessential toescapeany

limitations and that joy was the only natural thing to reach for. The spiritualdiscourse seemed tome like a fatal trap. Spending timewith the oldChinesemastersoftheTangdynastyexposedmemoreandmoretothisbizarrefreedom.In2005, Iwent toChina tomeet JingHui, theonly living successor of the

iconicmasterofthetwentieth-centuryHsuYun,andIsawinhimtheincarnationofthefreedomoftheancientphilosophers.IbecamehisdiscipleandeventuallyIwasordainedaChanmaster.Sincethattime,freeofallattachments,IventureonlytohelpthoseImeetto

findspontaneity,joyandfreedom.

1.

JoyattheHeartofEverything

JOY OCCUPIES A CENTRAL PLACE in this quest for the absolute that is theunderpinningof all life. It cannotbecompared topleasureorhappiness, sincethesedependonexternalcircumstancesandareephemeral.Joyisattheheartofanysearch,andistheclearestsignthatahumanbeinghasreachedtheharmonyderivedfromhisphilosophical,artisticandspiritualpractices.Whatissospecialaboutjoyisthat,likeanyotheressentialelement,wecan

alwaysfinditagain.Wearebornwiththisgift,butweneglectitandseekmoretransientpleasures.Thedisappointmentsbroughtaboutbyfleetingpleasuresandthe superficial idea of happiness make us forget joy, which needs constantcreativitytoflourish.Whenonemeetsajoyousperson,oneobservesthatjoyaloneisindependent

ofanyexternalfactor;itflourishesregardlessofexternalcircumstancesand,inspiteofthefactthatitcanfluctuate,nothingcandestroyit.Itistheoppositeofmelancholia, with its lack of connection to the circumstances of our lives.Neither the joyous nor the melancholic person needs positive or negativeelementstodeterminetheirstate.Onemightthenwonderfromwherethisindependencestems?Joyassumesa

richnessofconnections,amultitudeoffactorsthatcanceloutthedestructivenessofdisappointmentorsadness;itistobefoundatthecentreofaswarmofbliss.Joy is connected to our presence in the world. It stems directly from it. Torediscover joy, we need to rediscover or develop our ability to embrace thebroadest area of reality at our disposal. Joy requires practice. There are alsomultipleobstaclestojoythatcanbedefeatedoneaftertheotheraslongaswehaveintuitionandaclearperceptionofwhattheyare.

Joyrestoresaninnocencethatcomesfromabizarrewisdom:anexperienceoflifeinallitsdimensions.Thisinnocenceisnotignoranceofthetragic;onthecontrary,it’sasharpperceptionofthishumandynamic.Onecouldevensaythatthiselementisinseparablefromjoy.Withoutthisbalance,joywouldstillbea

fragileassetcontrolledbycircumstances.

Authenticjoyisaspacewhereeverythingcanbecomemanifest,apermanentdisplayoffireworksthatdoesnotgarishlytainttheskybutallowsustodiscoverthatithasnolimits.Joydoesnottoleratehalfmeasures.Onecannotbepartiallyjoyous.Whenjoydoesnottakeoverthewholebeing,itisonlyoneofthemasksof happiness. Joy implies creativity and the courage of freeing oneself frommany of our own concepts and conditionings.One can only access it throughsteadfastfearlessness.

ExaminingJoy

WhenIliveajoyousmoment,doIreconnecttootherjoyousmomentsandtothesourceofjoy?

Doesthesourceofjoyseemdependentonanobject,orisitadeeper,innateandindependentfeeling?

Doesmyjoydependonmypresenceintheworld?DoesitincreaseinthemomentswhenIamtotallypresent,ordoesitdecreasewhenIamdistractedor

perturbed?

AmIundertheimpressionthatjoyisconditional,dependingontheintensityofthepresentexperiences,ordoesitcompletelyoverwhelmmewithoutany

apparentreason?

IfImadealistofeventsthatevokejoyinme,whatwouldbeonthatlist?

Onthislist,howmanyeventsdependonothers?

2.

OrganicJoy

THE SIMPLEST JOY, THE MOST basic and essential, is organic joy. It is the firstemotion felt by the child and it progressively disappears because of externalinfluences and the anguish the child receives immediately after birth. Thisorganicjoymanifestsitselfpowerfullyduringadolescenceandsporadicallylateron.Religions negate anddepreciate the body, for they see it as an obstacle toabsolute purity and, therefore, they contribute to poisoning our perception oforganic joy. The body becomes tense, limits its experience of the world,developsthesensethatitisirreparablyflawedandthatitmustbesacrificedforthebenefitofthemind.Thebodygraduallylearnstofeelaliveonlythroughpainandthat,atleast,givesusasign:Isuffer,thereforeIamalive.Thefirststep towardsenhancing joyconsists in reconnectingwith thebody,

accepting it, and recognising its inalienable right to life; that is, beingcourageousanddetermined to realiseone’sownnature.Moral injunctionswillappearasaseriesofsubtleobstacles.Itwillbenecessarytodecipherthemandbring them to light. We need to listen attentively to our internal voice thatconstantlyattemptstohinderthecommunicationofthebodywithwhatisreal.Where does this voice come from that states: You don’t have the right to bealive.Isitthevoiceofourparents,ofourteachersoroftheclergy-thosewithwhomwehaverubbedshoulders?Orcoulditbethemanifestationofourdeepestfearsof living lifeat its fullest?Or is it this famousdeathwish thatescortsusthrough life?Themorewe listen to this voice, themorewe can recognise itsabsurdity. It is thevoiceof the internaldialogue,ourownvoice.Thereforewecanallowittobesilent.Whatgivesmeaningtolifeisouracceptanceofbeingfullyalive.Sowhendeathcomes,weshan’tregretthatwedidnotlivefully.Onceweareabletogobeyondthatfirststep,whenwehavegivenourselvesa

fullrighttolife,wewillrealisethatourbodyandourcapacitytofeelthepulseof life and our emotions were anesthetised by years of sensory, mental andemotional deprivation. We will then realise we were given the illusion of afragilesecurity,readytoexplodeundertheslightestshock.

Onourroadtojoy,wemustfirstabandontheverynotionofsecurity.Lifeisbeautiful to the extent that it is dangerous. I remember having once seen ateenager who proudly displayed a T-shirt that she had painted herself stating:‘Whatdoesnotscaremeisofnointeresttome.’Letusremindourselvesofthatcourageinordertobegintotasteorganicjoy.Ourbodyisamarvellousandelusiveinstrument.Itisabletoguideusinour

decisions with precision and speed, thanks to its immediacy. The body onlyknowstwowords:yesandno.Itdoesnotknowhesitationorindecision.Itswayofsayingyesistoopenup,whileitswayofsayingnoistocloseup.Thisdirectmessagemanifestsitselfinlessthanasecond,whileourbrainisstillreflecting,scanningthepast,scouringstatistics,establishingrisksoffailure,onlytoendupaftermanyminutes,evenhours,proposingamoreprudentsolutionthatweareverylikelytoadopt.Letusallowourbodytooperateaccordingtoitsrapidmodeandletustrustitinordertounblockthemind.Thisisourfirstexercisetowardsjoy. We will be scared! We will be under the impression that we are actingfoolishly! Slowly, we will rediscover the fundamental pleasure of havingreconnectedwithourbody.Bytrustingthebodywewillrapidlydevelopourcapacitytocapturewhatis

real.Ourlifewillbecomelesspredictableforourselvesaswellasforothers.Wewill be astonished by the accuracy of our bodily responses and we willprogressivelysmileattheineffectivecomplexityofourmentalprocesses.Letusreserve ourmind for all themarvellous things it can do and let us provide itmomentswhenitcanrest.Forcingit toworknon-stopforsixteenhoursaday,ourmind really deserves timeoff.A largepart of the stress and tiredness thatlimitsusstemsfromtheconstantandincessantdiscoursethatkeepsusbuzzingdayandnight.Thebodycanonly relaxwhen there is silence.Weareused toputting it in a state of stupor through the use of alcohol, drugs, images andsounds,whenwhatitsimplyneedsistodrinkatthefreshfountainofsilence.Gradually, we will appreciate tasting the silence of our mind, no longer

imposing the fears and boundaries that it fabricates by analysing the past.Organicjoyrequiresthemindtobesereneandtranquil.Ithasbeenofgreathelpuntil this time, but we have put it to forced labour. Themind, like any otherworker,deserveshoursofrest.Thereisnolabourunionprotectingthemind.Soletusstopexertinganinternaldictatorshipbeforewerevoltagainsttheexternalone.

QuestionsforourBody

Today,whatwerethemomentsofprofoundsatisfaction,ofpleasureorofjoy?Isthereadifferencebetweensuchmomentsofsatisfactionandthesefeelingsof

pleasureandjoy?

Whatistherelationshipbetweenrelaxingmybreathingandmyinternalsensations?

WhenIinhale,doIrelaxthedeepmusclesoftheabdomen,thosejustabovethepubicbone,ordoItightenthem?

Howdoesababybreathe?Ananimal?ByrelaxingthestomachwhenIinhaleorbypullingitin?Whichoneisnaturalbreathing?

Beingpresentdependsontherelaxationofthebreath.WhatwouldhappenifIattemptedtobeconsciousofmybreathtwentyorthirtytimesaday,forfifteento

twentyseconds?

Afterseveraldays’practice,wouldmypresenceintheworldbegintochange?

3.

DevelopingInternalSilence

HOWDOESONEDEVELOPTHEsilence thatallowsfor theblossomingoforganicjoy?Bycloselyobservingtheactivityofourinternaldiscourseandbybecomingconscious of its ongoing repetitiveness.We knowhow to escape the drivel ofeverydaylife,butwhyisitthatwearecompletelyunabletoescapeourinternaldiscoursewhich is so predictable and boring? It is depressing to listen to thisvoice.Wewillcome to realise thatwearecompletelyunder the thumbof thisexpressionoffear.It is easy to diagnose fear. It has an immediate connection with our

manifestations of hope. The more we hope, the more frightened we become.Hope is a fear that has been subverted. It signifies a lack of presence in theworld,anabsenceof joy,acontinuoussearchfor thesatisfactionofhappiness.Sinceinfinitydoesnoteverconnectwithus,weseldomreceivewhatwewishedfor,meaningweareconstantlyfrustrated.Whenwewaitcontinuallyforbeauty,we become blinded to the wonders that surround us, while waiting for afantasisedhappiness.Assoonaswegiveawarenesstoourbody,wediscoverthatwelacknothing

webelieveweneed.Theeverydaytracesofbeautyaresufficientinbringingusjoy.Wehaveabody!It iscapableofmoving,feeling, tasting,seeing, listeningandsmellingthethousandperfumesoftheworld.Ourbodycanalsosleep,wakeup, sensewater spilling over the skin, it can eat, drink,walk, look at the sky,touchotherhumanbeings,makelove,plungedeeplyintoanotherperson’seyes,listen to music; observe a bud flowering. Bodily sensations can also migrateexternallyfromtheskintowardsourinternalorgans.Weareabletoexperiencethefullnessoftheebbandflowofbloodandofotherliquids.Wecanenjoyandappreciateourbreathing,controlit,allowittogetindeeper,inconnectionwithouremotions.Wecanfeelthemovementofourdiaphragm,mixingtheenergyofthelowerbodywiththatoftheupperbody.Wecanfeelourtongue,allowittorelax,besurprisedbytheluminousflashesthatappearonoureyeballswhenthepineal gland is stimulated. The relaxation of the tongue is essential for the

relaxationofthewholehead.Themoreweattendtowhatishappeninginsideus,themoreourmindwillbe

blessedbyawell-deservedsilence.Itwill thenbeinsplendidformtofunctionwhenwereallyneedit.Aliveandfresh,preciseandcreative.Overworkeditwillbarelydeliverminimalservice.Ourbodyisabletofeelthequiveringoflife;itcanbesurprisedandawakened

toasenseofwonder.Wonderisthesurestsignofareturntoorganicjoy.

QuestionsfortheMind

WhatdoIrealisewhenIobservetheconnectionbetweentheinternaldiscourseofmymindandmyfrequentemotions?AmIconsciousofmybodilypresence?

WhathappensifIobservehowmybodyisfeelingwhilemyemotionsarehighandwhatIthenavoidlearningfromthisexperience?

WhenIshareanemotionwithafriend,whatpartdoescreativityplayinmystory?

Aftersharingthisemotionseveraltimes,doIincreasethecomplexityofthestorybyaddingdetailsthatwerenotpresentthefirsttimearound?

AsIbecomeconsciousofthenarrativeaspectsofanemotion,doesthisbringmebacktothesensation,thepathoftheemotioninmybody.AmIawareofthe

tensingandrelaxingofmymuscles?

Whatisthepathofanemotioninsidemybody?Whatarethesensitivepointsinmybodythatrespondtodifferentemotions?

DoesconcentratingonlyonwhatIfeelhelpmetogivelessthoughttotheemotionandtoitsdescription?

4.

FreeingOneselfofCertainties

AREBELIEFS,DOGMASANDCERTAINTIES anefficientway toconfront reality? Itwouldseemthatsincerealityisfluid,therigidityofourconceptsmightcauseusalotoftroubleinadjusting.Withthisrigidfunctioning,weopposeaflowthatignores any other possible system. Our certainties get brushed aside by atempest.Ourlackofsupplenessputsusinpermanentconflictwithreality.Thedevelopmentof joy isdirectlyproportional to therelinquishmentofour

concepts of the world. Why are we so stubbornly attached to our rigidstructures? Ever since we accessed language, we have been nourished by thecertainty thatasystemof theworld isessential forourbalanceandhappiness.Themorerigidourcertaintiesbecome,themoreproblemswehavewitharealitythatrefusestoenterintoourplans.On the contrary,wouldwisdomnot advocate abandoning theweight of this

mentalmachinery?ThisisoneofthecentralteachingsofChineseZen:toleavebehindanyconceptionoftheworldandtofullyenterreality.Thisisthekeytofreedomandcreativity. It isalso thekey to joy.Whenyougiveup the ideaofhaving a concept of the world, there is no problem with dealing with realitysince there isnomental formationgivingyoua signal that realityought tobedifferentfromwhatitis.Howcanwealleviateourselvesofourrigidconceptsoftheworld?Weneed

to examine carefully howour concepts create interferences, then observe howtheseinterferencesdevelopintoconflictsthatweareunabletoresolveandhowthey add to the weight of our life, to our lack of satisfaction and to ourfrustrations.Byanattentiveexaminationofhowwe function,wecandiscoverhowineffectivethisallis.Whenweclearlyrealisethatthisslowsdownourlifeand thatweblockourselves,wewillno longerchallenge realitywithsomanyconceptsandwewillimmediatelynoticemorefluidityinourbehaviour.This acceptance of the creativity of life is very stimulating from mental,

emotional and physical standpoints. It allows us to discover that there is animmediatelessontobediscoveredbehindeachexperience,evenifwegiveita

negative label. We also observe that no experience is completely negative.Something positive will always emerge, even in the most catastrophic ofcircumstances.Fukushimawasahumanandecologicaldisaster,yetwecannotdeny that it helped the awakening of an acute consciousness of the danger ofnuclear power and tipped thebalanceof somegovernments, such asGermanyandSwitzerland, towardsapolicyofnucleardisengagement.Thebreakupofaloveaffairmaycauseintensepersonalsuffering,whileatthesametimeallowingtheemergenceofagreatrenewalandanewlyfoundindependence.

‘Menbelieveinsomethingtoforgetwhotheyare.Theyburythemselvesinideals,getnestedinidolsandkilltimethroughthe

reinforcementofbeliefs.Nothingwouldthreatenthemmorethantobeconfrontedbyapureexistencethatwouldannihilatetheirpleasant

self-deception.’

CIORAN

ExaminingBeliefsandCertainties

IfImadealistofeverythingthatistheessentialframeofmylife–dogmas,beliefsandcertainties–whatwoulditreveal?

IfIconsidereachofthemandtrytoconnectthemwithhowIactinlife,wouldIfindthattheyhavehelpedmetobemorecongruentandmoreauthentic?

Orarethereelementsinthislistthatcreatedistanceandseparationfromothers?

DoesmyabilitytolistentootherschangewhenIdonothavepreciseinformationonthetopic?

Inanencounter,adinneroratimeofsharing,howmuchtimeisspentdefendingconcepts?

AmIupsetandtroubledwhensomeonedoesnotsharemyideas?DoIneedtoconvincethatperson?

AmIabletoconsiderthathisorherconceptmightbeasdefensibleasmine?

IfIabandonmyviewpoint,whatischangedintheconnectionandinthewaymybodyfeels?

5.

DoWeHaveaChoice?

GOINGWITHTHEFLOWOFlifedoesnotinhibitaction.Quitethecontrary,butthisraisesafundamentalquestionaboutchoice:dowereallyhaveachoice?Oneofthebedrockideasofourcultureisthatwehavefreewill.Halftheworlddefinesfreedom as having freedom of choice. The other half bases freedom on theabsenceofchoice.Whatconceptshouldwefollowtoexperiencefreedom?Thebeliefinatheorycomplicatesthematter.Theoldagainstthenewwillbe

opposite,whetheroneisChineseorWestern.Tomakeitsimpler,letusconsideramomentwhenwearesure thatwehavemadeachoice.Letus takeasimpleexample: thebreakupofa loveaffair.Whendidwedecide to leave theother?When we packed our suitcase? Several months earlier? Following anaccumulationofdifferencesanddisappointmentsoremotionalupheavals?Whendidwehavethefirst ideaofabreakup?Whendidthetruepicturethatwehadprojectedbecometooreal?Wasthereanintuitionthatweignoredwhenwefirstmet? To what extent is our desire for a separation conditioned by past loverelationships?Isthereaconnectionwiththeemotionalwoundsofchildhoodandadolescence? With our fear of abandonment? With the shock of separationduringtheexperienceofbirth?Asweproceedwiththisexamination,wewilldiscoverthatwecannotfindthe

moment of choice, whether for the great moments of life or for the simplestdecisions.WhyshouldIfeellikeputtingsugarinmycoffeetodaywhenIdon’tusuallydoso?Ineverysituationwehavetogobacktothebeginningoflife.The idea that we don’t have a choice is based on the interconnection of

everything. Since everything is connected, everything has an influence on thewhole and conditions it. We are swept away in a gigantic whirlwind andtransportedtotheunknownfrominstanttoinstant.Wherewouldonethenplaceapersonalchoice?The absence of choice abolishes guilt, ours as well as others’. We can no

longerhold theother responsible forourpain.Heor she isbeingpushedbyaforce much larger than his own person or ours. Therefore, there is absolute

freedom.Suchaconcept,however, isuseless. Itwouldonly lead toadditionalinternalconflict.Sowhatcanwedo?Lookatreality,paycloseattentiontoevents,gowiththeflowofthingsthen

ceaseexhaustingourstrengthinfightingagainstit.Aprofoundjoyemergesfromthat surrender. We can no longer pretend that we are in charge, that we canimposeourwill.Wewill allowourselves tobecome sensitive to the creativitythat opens upwithin us.We explorewhat is present rather than running afterwhatisabsent.

InterrogatingourChoices

Takesomethingsimple,forinstance,choosingarestaurant.Trytorememberthemomentwhenyousettledonfishormeat,adessert,acoffeeoratea.Wasitwhilereadingthemenu?Orwasyourchoiceconnectedtopreviousfood

preferences?

Doyouneedtogobacktoyourchildhoodtofindthesourceofyourchoices?

Ifoneofyourchoicesisconditioned,howabouttheothers?

Thinkaboutoneofyourromanticbreakups:themomentyoudecidedtoleaveyourpartner.Howfarbackdoyouneedtogo?

Ifyoufeelthateveryactionistheresultofaninfinitenumberofeventsofwhichyouaretotallyunaware,wereyoureallychoosingordidyouactasaresultof

theseconstantandindecipherableconditions?

Ifyoudidnotchoose,howcouldyoufeelproudorguiltyaboutanaction?

Ifoppositesgetharmonisedatthecosmiclevel,isn’tanyactionperfect?

Trytofindaneventthatyouconsiderasverynegativeandattempttoseeifnothingpositivecameoutofit.

Dothesamewithapositiveevent.

6.

LookingfortheTruth

WE SPEND AN IMPORTANT PART of our lives looking for the truth. But whichtruth?Theonepeopletrytoimposeonusthrougheducation,morality,religionorspiritualpractices?Ortheonewediscoverbyourselves?Doestruthexist?Ifit did, it would present itself as an absolute that no one would be able tocontradict.Werapidlybecomeawarethatnomatterwhatourtruthis,believersin different truths will be quick to attack it. Our efforts to make a solid andunassailable systemareuseless.Nomental fortresscan resist for long.Wegetexhausted seeking.Weget exhausted defending. Is there not another path thatwouldcoincidewithjoy?HuangPo,awell-knownChanmasteroftheninthcentury,goesstraighttothe

heartoftheissuebyquotingoneofhisillustriouspredecessors:‘Itisuselesstolookforthetruth;onejustneedstonotcherishopinionsaboutit.’Everyopinioninvolvesapartialview.Whenwegiveupthisview,thebody-spiritcalmsdownand relaxes, leaving room for joy. Huang Po adds: ‘Our essence is open likespace,that’sall.’A largepartofourmentalagitationstemsfromour imperiousdesire to find

thetruth.Itisasifweweretryingtoisolateastarinthesky,sothatwecouldgiveitthestatusofAbsoluteStar.Obtainingwisdomistofloat:tonotclingontotheopinionsofothersbutnotfocussingonourown.Thoughtsbecomemorefluid;theypassbywithoutencrustingthemselves.Thebodylooksatthemwiththesamesenseofwondermentaswhenitlooksatspace.Anymentalandbodilytension prevents joy from becomingmanifest. In order to arise, joy needs theopennessofboththespiritandthebody.

WhatisLeftWhenWeAbandonourTruth?

Inmyrelationshipswithothers,whatisthepartofmydiscoursethatattemptstoimposemytruth?

Inwhatwaydoconflictingtruthsconstrainme?

Whatistheconnectionbetweenmyabilitytolistenandtheabandonmentofmyfixedideas?

WhathappenswhenIreplacetheword‘truth’withtheword‘authenticity’?Andwhatifeverythingweretrue?

7.

SpontaneityandFear

SPONTANEITYISANIMMEDIATERESPONSEtoreality.Itimplieshavingabodyfreedof its tensions, breathing naturally with a mind at peace, without fear. It isdifficult to achieve. It could be considered the ideal test to discover to whatextentahumanbeingenjoysfreedom.Wecanapplyittoourselvesbynoticingourabilitytorespondimmediatelyto

life in all its unpredictability. Spontaneous beings have discarded the differentmasksthathavebeenimposeduponthem,aswellastheonestheyself-crafted.Hesitation denotes confusion.Here again,we need to trust our body for its

capacitytoprovidearapidyes/noresponsetosituations.Thebodyisunabletosay‘maybe’or‘wewillsee’.Itreactsimmediatelybyopeningorclosing.Themind,however,requiresaconsiderabletimelapsetoreachaconclusion

andthrustitselfintoaction.Thestrengthofitshesitationisoftensogreatthatitconvincesustowaitanddonothing.Theinternaldiscoursebuildsandmaintainsthisfearbypresentingtousallthenegativepossibilitiesthatweneedtoconsiderbefore we act.With time, we become frightened human beings who wait forothersorforlifetopushusintoaction.Fearstemsfromourinternaldiscourse.Whenthemindisquiet,whatremains

isonlyaninstinctivefearthatcanhelpsaveourlife;it isadirectanswerfromthebody.The fear that interests us here is a psychological fear. The one we create

whenever we face an unexpected moment in life. This fear speaks to us,conditionsusanddevelopsfurtherthankstoourincessantinternaldiscourse.Wecan listen to it and dismantle its construction in the same way we woulddismantletheworkingsofaclockandseeitshrinkthelongerweobserveit.Fear has a body. When we realise that we are the creators of our own

anxieties,wecanslowlyattainthesilencethatallowsforspontaneity.Themorespontaneouswebecome,themorejoywillcometothefore.Itisafundamentaljoy, stemming from our freedom to act without needing any special reasons,since the beauty of the world and of people manifests itself naturally in

spontaneity. We are then able to relate with a multiplicity of elements thatenchantus,withoutanyneedtoownthem.This joy is an unconditional delight in the beauty of being alive and of

appreciatingtheinfiniteinspirationofrealityasamirrorofourowncreativity.

WhatamIAfraidof?

Makealistofyourfears.

Isitpossibletoreducethesefearstoonefear?

Isn’tthefearofaboundlessspaceatthesourceofallsecondaryfears?

HowlongdoIneedtorespondtounexpectedcircumstances?Duringthiselapsedtime,howisthemindbehaving?

AmIabletoobserveaconflictbetweentheresponseofthebodyandthatofthemind?

Whichoneisthemostimmediate?

Istherepressionofspontaneityasocialfear?

WhenIachievespontaneityisitbecauseIimmediatelytrustmybodyormymind?

Ifmyabilitytobespontaneousincreases,amIalsoabletothinkmorequickly?

Isthereadifferencebetweenmybody,mindandemotions?

8.

TheIllusionofChange

THE IDEA THAT CHANGE IS necessary is an illusion. From birth, we areconditionedtoadopttheconventionalattitudesthatwillhelpusbecomesociallyacceptablehumanbeings,potentiallyworthyofaffection,admirationand love.Werapidlygetusedtoasystemthatfavoursappearanceoverauthenticity.Themessage that we constantly receive from our parents, teachers and lovers issimple:‘Youwouldbebetterifyouweresomebodyelse.’Thisconstantcriticismpushesustopretendtobewhatwearenotsowecanenjoysomepeace.Webuybookson‘howtobe’.Wefollowmethods,weattempttohideourinadequaciesfrom others and soon our own censorship becomes fiercer than that of ourexternalcensors.Whenwe succeed,webecomeobjects of admiration for being someonewe

arenot.Wecomfortourselveswiththefactthatwe’renottheonlyoneswholie.We casually call this the ‘social game’, but this game only distances usmorefromwhoweare, to thepointwherewe forgetwhoweare.Withhelp fromatherapist, we try to find ourselves again, so we can rediscover our authenticselves.Oneday,byabandoning thevariousmethodsof ‘change’,webegin togeta

glimpse of another aspect of change, one that is not an escape towards thefabricatedpersonawebelieveweare,butonethatallowsustoreturntotherootofwhowereallyare.Wedevelopaparticulartendernessforthissuppressedbutvibrant being. By dropping the mask, we discover the extent to which ourauthenticselfhasbeendeprivedofexpression.Thiscomingbacktotheauthenticselfmarksadecisivesteptowardsjoy.This

beingwhohasbeenthereallalongissimplywaitingtoberecognisedandlovedforwhoheis.Heaskstobeacceptedinhisentirety,withhisshadowsideaswellashislightside,hisreasoning,hiscraziness,hisexcessesandalsohiscreativity,which will develop the more we acknowledge the true ‘him’. The more heaccepts who he is, the more creative he will be. This long journey back tooneself is the only change that makes sense.Without it, the access to joy is

blockedbyapictureofoneselfthatisbothfalseandanillusion.We may experience some fear at that moment when our authentic being

emerges,notrealisinghowthisnewstateiscontagious.Itispossiblethatthoseclose to usmaybe shocked at first, but it seemsunlikely that theywould notallowtheirownauthenticity toemerge.Thisemergencewillenableus tomeetthosewhohavethecouragetobethemselvesandwhoalsoallowthemselvestopursuesuchexploration.Evenifweencounterobstacles, theimmediateimpactofthisprocessofexplorationwillbethemanifestationofajoytowhichnoonecanremainindifferent.

AmIReallyDifferentToday?

Lookatapictureofyourselfasachild,whileatthesametimelookingatyourselfinthemirror.Isitessentiallythesameface?

Makealistofthemostimportantconditionsthatyouweresubjectedtosincechildhood.Whatweretherecurrent‘values’thatpeopleattemptedtoimposeon

you?

Whateffortsdidyoumaketobethatotherbeing?

Wereyouabletosatisfythosewhoaskedyoutochange?

Didyourfailuretochangeresultinfrustration,bitternessorafeelingofindignity?

Haveyoualreadyhadtheexperienceofperceivingyourauthenticselfandof

abandoninganyideaofbeingsomeoneelse,adisguise,asocialmask?

Whatsensationdidyougetfromreturningtoyouressence?

9.

ThePowerofDesire

DESIRE IS OFTEN CONSIDERED THE enemy of harmony and internal peace.Bedevilledbyreligions,itremainsthisunwantedremnant,whichtossesusaboutonthecrestofwavesunlesswegetridofif.Desireisalmostalwaysassociatedwithahungerthataccentuatesthedifficultyofcompletelysatisfyingit.Spinozasaysthatassociatingitwithpoweroffersusanewunderstanding.Byobservingdesire,wecanunderstanditsdynamicholdoneveryhumanbeing,evenifitisrenounced,whichalsobecomesaformofdesire.Thisposesaquestion:Towhatextentisdesireessentialtojoy?Itispossible

to change theperspective thatwe are at the centreof theuniverse, pretendingthat we are the only ones who possess a conscience. Let us imagine for amoment thatmatter ischargedwithconsciousnessand that itbeckonsusso torespondtoourdesires.Wewill thenbeanimatedbylightermovementsandbetouchedbyacertain

grace. No more one-way street. Everything is movement. The world comestowardsme,Iwelcomeit.Ilosethesupremacyofthe‘I’;Ifloatinaspherethatdesiresme,aspherewhereeachatomispushedtobindwithmenaturally.Thisisexactlythedefinitionofajoythathaslostallarrogance.Thejoyousindividualisabeingwhoissensitivetothefireworksofwhatisreal;heallowshimselftobeskeweredandpenetratedbythecolourfulexplosionofwhat iscontinuouslyborn and extinguished. Instead of being driven to concentrate on thedisappearanceofanobjectintothedistance,suchanindividualwillconcentrateontheconstantemergenceofmultiplenewrealities.Joyhelpsusdiscover thisopendesireasvastlydifferentfromaprocessinwhichweinvestallourhopeinoneobject,thuslimitingjoy.The power of the imagination reaches its highest intensity in desire. Let us

allowittofunction,sinceitisaforetasteofmoretodiscover.Allowthisprocesstodevelop,withoutrushing,byfullyappreciatingtheimagesthatweform.Letus imagine the taste of the fruit before putting it in our mouths. Thisapprehension in the dynamic process diffuses the fatal coupling of desire and

possession and shows us that themost delicious possession is to give time toimagination. If the object should then escape us, we would not feel anyfrustration,aswewouldhavealreadyfullyenjoyedit.Thiswayofexploringdesireshowsusthattherearetwodynamicexperiences

in this movement: the first places total energy on a single object and then isbereft fromnot possessing it or losing it. The second operates as a beam thatalways stays in contact with multiplicity. This kind of desire does not knowfrustration.Itissatisfiedthemomentitarises.Onecouldsaythatitisthedesireofthephilosopher,adesirethatdoesnotinvolvestressorstrain,adesireintheformofaspacethatincludestheworldinitsfragilewholeness.Aswecontinue toobservehowwedesire,wecanalsodiscover thatbehind

eachyearninghidesalargerandsecretdesiretofindtheauthenticandfreeself;this slowly gets detached from its past conditioning and fears and is able toexplorelifewithpassion.

WhataremyStrongestDesires?

Ifothersdonotgivemethatsatisfaction,canIreachitbymyself?

MakealistofwhatIdesirethemostintheworld.

ArethereelementsonthatlistthatIhavealreadytasted,butwhichIwouldliketosavourasrealandbytherealme?

Woulditbepossibleforallmydesirestobemergedintoonedesire?

Whichone?

Isthesatisfactionofthisdesiredependentonotherdesires?

10.

WhatisReal?

IN ONE OF THE MOST iconoclastic sutras of Buddhism, Vimalakirti, a laycontemporaryof theBuddha,managedtodeconstruct theconceptsof themostadvancedmonks.WefindinhissutrassomepearlsoftheReal,inthesensethatwemeanithere:‘Realityisfreeofcharacteristics,sinceitisnotconditionedbyanything.’Sengzhao,hisChinesecommentator (384–414AD),adds: ‘Nomentalconsiderationconditionsit,nottheshadowofanyrepresentation,northeechoofa thought. Characteristics unfold as conditionings unfold: remove these, andcharacteristicsaregone.’What prevents us from directly capturing what is Real and from finding

immediatejoywhenwemeetit?Theheavyburdenofourbeliefsandcertainties.AttheheartofChan,onefindsthecommandofChinesemasterswhostatethatitis essential to rid oneself of the conceptual apparatus in order to seize reality.This includes, of course, our Buddhistic dogmas, such as the emptiness ofeverything. ‘Our school has neither slogan nor dogma to transmit,’ statesHongzhi. As to the method, it is simple: ‘Clean the dust and the stains ofsubjective thinking immediately.When thesearewashedaway,yourmindwillbe open, light, limitless, lacking both centre and extremes. Completely one,radiantly luminous, itwill shine through theuniverse, cuttingoff past, presentandfuture.’Whenwetouch thisradiance,weare touching joy.Buthowdowesuppress

thisconceptual filter thatslowsusdownanddistortsourperceptionofwhat isreal? We need a clear and constant awareness of our mental functioning, animmediateinsightintoourhabitualattachments,ourrejectionsandofourhabitof always establishing preconceptions. Our opinions end up forming a heavymassthatinterposesitselfbetweenrealityandourperceptionofit.Ourtendencyto transform the smallest element in a story,whichgets inflated each timewerepeat it,endsupcreatingafilter thatprevents thesapandbeautyofrealitytoflow,thuscreatinganarrativewithoutthesemblanceofanyinstinctualinsight.FromBasho:

Whenfacingtheboltoflightningsublimeistheonewhodoesnotknowanything

Aconsciencethatisdistortedbyourconceptualknotsshowsustheabsurdityof the internal discourse that transforms a cluster of perceptions into a cheapnovel in which we are the heroes. Our ability to describe reality willprogressivelybecomeblurreduntilthishazedisappears.Inthefuture,therewillbealmostnofilter leftbetweenconscienceandreality,almostnocommentary.Wewillbecomethatspacethatleavestracesoflightandjoywhenevercrossedbyanything.

ImmediateReality

Trytoliveaneventwithoutnamingit,describingitorcomparingit.

Isthereanotabledifferenceofintensityregardingreality?

Howdoesrealityemergeintheinternalsilence?

Whatdoesittastelike?

Isthenotknowinganobstacletotheintensityofthesensation?

Howdoesthedescriptionofafeelingkilltheintensityofthefeeling?

Whatistheconnectionbetweeninternalsilenceandinnocence?

Whatistherelationshipbetweeninnocenceandcreativity?

11.

Thoughts,EmotionsandSensations

THOUGHTS,EMOTIONSANDSENSATIONSSEEMtobethreeindependentdomains.Itisuseful toconsider themassuchwhenspeakingaboutthembut inrealitytheconnectionsaretoonumerous.Eachmomentismadeupofathousandneuronalbridgesthatcommunicatethought,emotionandsensationthroughoutourwholebody. It is the lightning speed of these connections that allow joy tomanifestwhenoursystemisnotinvadedbyrumination,discriminationandfear–thefirsttwoofthesebeingcausedbythethird.Acarefulexaminationwillimmediatelyreveal the effects of thought on our emotions. Our body shows impactimmediately. Every moment, our body is exposed to an infinite number ofclimatic fluctuations–bloodcirculation increases,ourporesopen,our internalorganscontractorrelax,ourmusclesrelaxorclenchtoformabarriertocontaintheemotion.Givingattentiontothebodyisessentialforaccessingtheconsciousnessofthe

effect and for following the impact of each thought and each silence.A silentthought, that is, a thought freed of any reassessment – since the first thoughtcannot be considered a handicap – immediately relaxes the body, and, nowaligned with reality, joy manifests itself instantly in this body. There issometimesconfusionwhenwespeakof ‘no thought’.Thisdoesnotmean thatthereisacompleteabsenceofthought,butsimplythatthereisnoattachment,orparticular value given to thoughts.Theymove across space like a comet, or aflightofmigratorybirds,leavingnotraces,creatingneitheranappropriationnorasecondmeaning.In the intimate experienceof joy there is never a question to resolveor the

need to control anything. It is a progressive dispossession, the simplicity ofbeing,aninnocencerecoveredthroughthemagicofbeingpresentintheworld.This presence, recognised by mystics, artists and philosophers, is a two-stepoperation.Thefirstistheconcentrationonasingleobject.Asaresult,thebodycalms down, the mind is quieted, the breathing is restored. This allows thesecondsteptoopenustothedirectexperienceoftheReal.Meditationmakesus

cross these two phases, traditionally known under the names Samatha(tranquillity)andVipassana(deeppenetration).Butmeditationdoesnotalwaysinvolveasittingmeditation.Itcanmeanapresenceintheworld.AlmosteveryChan master has commented with humour and sometimes with a chidingveracity that sitting meditation transforms its practitioners into a bag of rice.Theypointoutthattostayinemptinessisanincurableillness.Meditationdoesnot‘goanywhere’.Itdoesnotseekanything.Itisdevoidofobject.Itmanifestsitselfasanabsenceofconnection.ItisonlyaspaceinwhichtheRealcanrestfromtheneed to representanyparticularobject. Interiorsilencedoesnotarisefrommeditation;itisitsownmanifestationandthissilenceallowsfor‘music’toemerge.Meditation is a state of alert creativity, of mental lucidity, which weexercise when we connect with the Real, and which finds its most beautifulexpressioninaction.Thereisnoneedtowithdrawfromtheworldtofullytouchlifeandexperiencefreedom.

ObservingThoughts,EmotionsandSensations

HaveIalreadyundergoneabody-spaceexperience?

Whenmymindissilent,whereamI?

WhenIamsilent,isthereaseparationbetweentheworldandme?

Whatistheimpactofsilenceonmybodyandmyperceptions?

Doemotionsemergemorefreely?

Dotheypassthroughmeastheywouldinspace?

Dotheystagnateinthebody,asifitwereacontainer?

Isitpossibletohaveanintenseemotionallifeinabodylackingconceptuallimits?

AmIabletothink,feelandexperienceanemotionandtomovefromonetotheotherwithoutinvolvingothers?

12.

DevelopingPresenceintheWorld

BEINGPRESENTOCCURS SPONTANEOUSLYWHEN anobjector apersoncaptivatesus.Ourwholeattentionisthendirectedtowardsasingleobjectandweareabletotaste,feel,see,listentoandreallytouchwhatwearefacing.Thispleasureofpresenceisnourishing,restorativeandbringsusjoy.Itissointensethat,duringchildhood and adolescence, we spend hours in this state of receptivity andcuriosity as we discover the world. As we accumulate experience andknowledge, our curiosity and sense of wonder fades with time. We already‘know’, and little by little we lose the ability to be present. We experienceboredomandlethargy.Nothingsurprisesus.Thisistheconditionofmostadults,who also interpret the natural ability of children and adolescents to be in thepresentasmeaningthattheyaredistracted.Thiserroneousjudgmentpushesustobelievethatpresencemeansdistraction,

diverting us from the direct experience of the world by forcing the child toconformtotheopinionsofothers.If we think back to the most vivid memories of our adolescence or our

childhood, we will discover that they were moments of pure presence. Ournaturalcapacity forconcentrationonnoveltyenabledus tocontemplatea leaf,ananimal,ashadow,thestarrysky,thesea,withouttheleastmentalfluctuationduring longminutes,evenhours.Thesemoments left an indeliblemark,whilewesometimesforgotthenamesofpeoplewhowereclosetous,sometimeseventhe shape of their face. If we met them twenty years later, we would notrecognisethem.Buttheleaf,thesky,thedragonfly:yes.How can we find this state of presence again? By a multitude of short

incursionsintotheReal.Tenortwentysecondsaresufficient.Wemustmakeaminimalefforttoreallytakealook,tofeel,totouchanobject,then,afterashortlapseof time,wecan let goofbeingpresent to return toourhabitual stateofdistraction.Ifweconsciouslycomeoutofbeingpresent,afterawhilewewillgetaclear

signalthatwehavebeenunconsciouslynon-present.Thispracticeissomewhat

frustratingatthebeginning,sinceweforceourselvestoabandonpresence,yetitiswithineveryone’sreachasitrequireslittleeffortandashortspaceoftime.Itis very effective in developing presence for a very simple reason: presencebringsuspleasure andwe lovepleasure.This pleasure, repeated several timesduring the day, will reveal that there is neither triviality nor repetition in ourdaily life. Even if we shower everymorning, each shower is totally differentfromtheothers.Evenifwedrinkthesameteainthesamemugs,theexperienceis new every time. This discovery will make us content to be alive, willreconnectusandwilldispelourwaitingforsomeeventthatmightnotbringuspleasureorhappiness.Wewillspendalotlesstimefantasisingaboutobjectsthatwethinkmakeushappy.Andthisisagoodmeasureofthequalityofpresence,since it allows for the disappearance of hope, a form of fear and anacknowledgementofourinabilitytobepresent.Presencealsoenablesustocomeoutofsolitude.Itgivesrisetocuriosityand

interest in others. Presence is a rare form of beauty. Every human being issensitivetoit.Itislikebeinginlove.Didyounoticehowanunusualcuriosityandinterestareawakenedwhenyouareinlove?Presencehasthesameimpact.One could say that presence is a state of loving that does not need a uniqueobject. It is an opening to themanywonders of theworld in a radiantmentalsilence.

TestingPresence

Whensomebodyspeaks,doIlistenordoIthinkofmyresponse?

HowmanysecondscanIconcentrateonasingleactionwithmentalinterference:drinkingtea,showering,eatingfruit,listeningtomusic,reading

onepageinabook,lookingatthelandscape?

DoIhavetheimpressionthatIcanhearmyinternalsilence?

Whensomeonemakesanunpleasantremarktome,howlongdoIbroodoverthewordsIheard?

AmIawareofmyocularmovements?DoIblinkoften?

DoIsometimeshavethesensationofmybreathing,ofthemovementofmydiaphragm,oftherelaxationofmytongue?

WhenIaminadifficultsituation,doIconfrontitordoItrytodistractmyselfinordertoforgetit?

Whensomeoneasksmeaquestion,orwhenanactionneedsareaction,howlongdoesittakeformetoanswerortoact?

Aremyanswersclearordotheydenotealackofspontaneity?

DoIhavetheimpressionthatItastethesmallthingsinlife,oramIalwayswaitingforimportanteventstowhichIattributethepowerofchangingmylife

andbringingmehappiness?

CanIsaythatlifeoffersmealot?

DoIsometimesfeelthatmybodyandmymindareinperfectharmony?

Whentheyareinopposition,whichonemakesthedecision?

WhenIfollowmyinstinctsormyintuition,istheresponsefasterthanwhenIaminmyusualmentalspace?

IfIweremorespontaneous,wouldIcreatemorechaosormoreharmonyaroundmyself?

Whichmakesmoremistakes,themindorthebody?

WhenImakeamistake,howlongdoIthinkaboutitandhowlongdotheinternalcommentarieslast?

DoIfeelguilty?

DoIsometimessimplybecomeconsciousofmymistakeandimmediatelyrecapturemymentalsilence?

WhenIamspontaneous,doIregretit?

DoIrestrictmycapacityforlifeinordertoavoidhurtingothers?

IfIrelaxedmyattention,wouldmyfreedomenableotherstobemoreopen?

13.

Joy,TowardsaGreaterPerfection

ANTONIOR.DAMASIO,INHISessay‘SpinozaWasRight’,wrote:

‘OnecanagreewithSpinozainsayingthatjoy(laeticiainLatin)isassociatedwithatransitionoftheorganismtowardsagreater

perfection.Withoutanydoubt,[thisisso]inthesenseofthegreatestfunctionalharmony,andalsointhesenseofincreasedpowerand

freedom.’

This functional harmony arises from a deep acceptance of our unconsciousprocesses.Theacceptanceofthisinternalalchemymeansthatalargepartofourinternal processes are directly correlated to our awareness. Our consciousnessunjustly appropriates the idea of choice, when in fact choice is completelysubjecttothemysteryandwhimsofthemind.Whatwecallconsciouschoiceisonlyabelatedvalidationofathousandunconsciousoperations.Neurobiologistsaffirmthatthebrainneedsonly23hundredthsofasecondto

carry out the operations that precede action and that the conscious part of thebrainonlychooseswhattheunconscioushasalreadychosen.Thisshedslightonthe inordinateprideweholdabout the ideaof choice.Ourconsciousnessonlythenreachesaconclusionandin thebestmomentsofspontaneity thishappensseven or eight seconds later. In this case, spontaneity would only be theimmediate acceptance of unconscious choices, without a theoretical, moral orsocial opposition. One could almost say that to be spontaneous means to beunconscious.ThisiswhatwecouldrefertoasConsciousness.Throughtheirknackofmentalsilenceandconcentration,someZenmastersor

practitionersofmartialartssucceedinsubstantiallyreducingtheirreactiontimesbysevenoreightseconds.Thisiswhatcomesintoplayintheformalencounterswhere themasterproposesakoan to thediscipleandexpectsan instantaneousresponsewilldecidetheadvancementofthediscipleinmeditativepractice.

ThestoryoftheChinesemasterXiangYan,wholivedintheninthcentury,isanexample.Hetoldhisdisciple:‘Supposethatyouareholdingontoabranchlocatednear the topofa tall treebyyour teeth,and thatyoucannotuseeitheryourhandsoryourfeet.AfollowercomesbyandasksyouwhatistheultimatemeaningofZen?Ifyoudon’tansweritmeansyouareavoidingthequestion.Ifyouanswer,youfallandloseyourlife.Whatwillyoudo?’More than one second of hesitation is considered evidence of confusion. It

resultsinanimmediatereturntomeditation.Thebeautyofthispracticeisthatitisimpossibletoconceiveofagoodanswer.Onlyspontaneitycansaveusandifthe student is bright enough to provide an answer, the master will certainlyriposteunlessheisabsolutelyconvinced.Following this example and without needing to practice Zen or any other

discipline, we can test our capacity to respond not only to questions that areaskedofusbutalsotothespontaneouseventsinlifethatrequireanimmediateresponse.Thiswillgiveusaclearviewofourcapacitytobealerthumanbeings.

TheEffectsofJoy

Whenyouarefeelingjoyous,areyouundertheimpressionthatyouowethisjoytoanimportantevent,ordoyoufeelanorganicjoyindependentofanyfactor?

Whenthereasonforthejoydisappears,doesjoystayinyou?

Whatistheimpactontheabdomenmusclesandonbreathing?

Doesyourbodyexperienceagentlevibration?Doyourfacialmusclesrelax?

Doyoufeellikesmilingorlaughing?

Doyouthinkofsomethingelsethatcouldbringyougreatersatisfaction?

Doesyourheartrateslowdown?Doyousalivate?

Doyouexperiencethesamesignsaswhenyouareinlove?

Haveyoueverexperiencedblissfulnesswithoutbeinginlovewithsomeone?

Doyouhavetheimpressionthatthebodyextendsbeyonditsboundaries,thatitdilatesandfluctuates?

14.

ABalanceBetweenAutomaticPilotandConsciousness

IS ITPOSSIBLETOBECOMEcompletelyconscious?Themultiplicityandspeedofour unconscious processes is such that our consciousness would probablyimplode ifwe had that possibility. Is it also possible to avoid being absent tosuchanextremethatwecanspendhoursandwholedaysonautomaticpilot?Forourultimatewell-beingandtheblossomingofjoy,certainlynot.Wecanachieveabalancebetweenthesetwoextremitiesand,withoutgettingtiredortense,wecanslowlyadvanceontheterritoryofunconsciousness.Wecangainaccesstocreativitybyobservingourdailyroutines.Whydowe

havetheneedtorespondendlessly in thesamemanner to thesamesituations?For instance, thehabitof saying ‘no’ toanything thatkeepsus inourcomfortzone.Wearenotriskinganythingbydoingthatsinceallthegivensareknownandundercontrol.The‘no’istheguardianofoursecurityandtheguarantorofourultimateboredom.Itgivesusthetimetoengageinourfavouriteoccupation,thecriticismanddenigrationofothers,of theirboldness, their errors and theirfollies.Theproblemisnotsomuchourinclinationtorepeatouractions,butthefact

thatwearenotconsciousofthem.Ahabitofwhichweareconsciousisonitsway todisintegration.Weoftenworry thatothersprogrammeus–our friends,loversorsuperiorsintheworldofwork.Wegladlyaccusethemofmakingourlives difficult. If we look at this more closely, we will discover that we arealmosttheonlyonesimposingthecontrolonourselves,limitingthepossibilitiesof change and creativity. In the final analysis, others only play with thelimitationsthatwerevealtothemthroughthefrivolityofouractions.The more joy establishes itself within, the more we will realise that it is

inseparablefromfreedom.Andthemoreawarewebecomeandputanendtoourdefensive routines, the freerwewill be. Joy also increases ourwillingness totake risks and the desire to venture into unknown territory. The bodyimmediately feels charged by a quiver of excitement giving the sensation thateverything is functioning at full efficacy. The body emerges as a vibrating

instrumentoutofastagnantanddullmass.Wefollowanewpathwithoutbeingdisturbedby thebeaconsofwarningposedby thosewhofearreality.Weclearthe unknown as if with a machete and even the wild beasts look at us withamazement.OnewhoknowsjoywillnotceasetheexplorationoftheReal.

TakingRisksanditsConsequences

Doyoubelievethatyouaretakingrisksintheprofessional,emotionalorphysicalaspectsofyourlife?

Areyoureadytocallyourwaysofthinkinganddoingthingsintoquestionifsomeoneshowsyouabetterway?

Howwouldyouwelcomethechange?Inyouremotionallife?

Inyourrelationships?

Doyouleaveenoughspaceforotherssothattheycanmodifytheirvisionofthings,theirwayofactingorthinking?

Whenyouareabouttoengageinanewbehaviour,doesyourmindpresentyouwithnegativeprospectsaboutthischange?

Orisitsilentandallowsyoutoenterimmediatelyintoaction?

Doyouexpectthatotherswillbehaveinthewaythatyouhopedorimagined?

Wouldyousaythatyourapproachtolifeiscreative,thatitpushesyoutoinventandallowotherstosurpriseyou?

15.

CreativeJoy

IFWETURNOURATTENTION tothecreativeprocessofapainter,amusicianorawriter, we discover that creation springs up during a state of mental silence,wheneverythingthatdoesnotneedtobethoughtisallowedtoarise.AclassicalChinesepainteroncebuilt a studio forhimself in the shapeof aboat:Abunkwith a slit for his arm was hanging on top of the paper, at the height of hisstretched out arm extended by the brush. As he allowed the boat to floataccordingtothecapriciousmovementsoftheriver,hewouldletgoofhisarmandhishandandthemostbeautifullandscapewouldemergeonpaper.Creativityisnottheexclusivityofartistsorofthosewhothinktheyareableto

inundate theworldwith their productions. It is accessible to allwho discoverpresenceandenterintoadeeprelationshipwiththeworldthatsurroundsthem.Creating one’s life means constantly exploring reality and developing a

greateracuityinperception,inrefinementandingrace.An artist worthy of that name always explores the unknown. He does not

reproducetheworkofothers,norhisown.Heisinconstantmovementtowardstheunknown.Hedoesnotpayattentiontowhatothersexpectofhim,sinceevenhedoesnotknowwhereheisgoing.Hecreatessohecandiscoverwhereheisbymovingforward.Let us see if we follow the same roads in similar situations. Habit always

makesus take thesameroad.Changingour itinerary inacitycanhelpusfindnew ways of behaving. We will become more conscious of the circular andobsessive routines, of the infinite repetitions of our gestures,words, thoughts,andphysicalsensations.Themindneedsnovelty,needstoperceivemoreandingreaterdepth,needstonotgetusedtoanything,soasnottofallintoastateoflethargy.Sensory creativity is not repeating the same gestures or movements; it

introducesdifferentwaysoftouching.Mental creativitymeans becoming immediately aware thatwe have already

travelled along certain paths; attempting to open new mental paths whenever

possible;becominganadventurer!Emotional creativity is not lapsing into the circular grooves that our lazy

habitsautomaticallypresenttous;lettingoneselfgo;dismissingfearandmentalforeshadowing;recapturingtheinnocenceoftheonewhodoesnotknow.Creativity slowly empties our memory, and an empty memory does not

expressapictureoracomparisontosomethingelsewhenaneventoccurs.Everymomentisincomparableandofaluminousfreshness.

AmIanArtist?

Inyourdailylife,doyouexperiencejoyincreatingsomethingsimple:aspaceforanobject,arecipe,asensorydiscovery?

Howimportantisyourcontactwiththearts:music,literature,philosophy,painting,sculpture.Doesitbringyoufulfilment?

Doyouliketodiscovernewcreations?Areyouafraidofinnovations?Doyouseecreativityinchanceencounters?

Inyourrelationships,doyouallowforcreativityoradifferentapproach,ordoyoufeelmoresecureinrepeatingoldpatterns?

Areyouawareofmomentsofwonder?Howoften?Inthesemoments,doyoufeelcreativeaboutwhatyouobserve?

Haveyoualreadyhadtheexperienceofconsideringtheinanimatematterthatsurroundsyouascreative?

Doyoueverwonderifmatter,theelementsandthevegetalandthemineralkingdomscouldhaveconsciousness?

Areyouawareofthevibrationofmatter,ofthedanceofatoms?

Doyousometimeshavetheexperienceofenteringanecstaticmoment,whenthereisnodifferencebetweenyouandwhatyouperceive?

16.

TheReintegrationofChaos

THE FEAR IN WHICH OUR present society lives pushes us to forget about thecreativeaspectsofchaosandtoseeonlydisorderandcatastrophe.IfwegobacktoGreekmythology,wewillbeable tosee thecreativityofchaosandthenbeabletoreintegrateitintoourlives.Chaoswasherebeforeanythingelse,akindof floatingandundifferentiated

magma filled with suspended energy. Then Gaia – the earth, sprang up, thenEros–love,Nyx–night,andErebusjoinedandgavebirthtothedayandtotheether.Thenloveandhateappeared,toforeshadowthereturntochaos.Byperceiving chaos as energy,we reduce both the fearwe have of chaotic

statesandourdesiretosuppressourstrategiestoavoidthem.Periodsofchaosaremarvellouslycreative.Theyaretheendofadeceptivelyorganiseduniverseandbringtheemergenceofanewforce.Ifwedarenottorunawayfromchaos,andnottocloseoureyes,wewillgettheimpressionoffloatingamidstanoceanofaquiveringenergy.Thebodyabsorbsthisenergy,thespiritisnourishedbyitandgoesthroughaphaseofwithdrawalandrestfulemptinessoutofwhichtheseedsofcreativitygerminate. It is theendofoneorderand thebeginningofarevitalisation.Thereis,inharmony,asortofsoporificsoftness.Thedesiretostayandsettle

initisthesimplestexpressionoffear.Piercingtheharmonybubbletopenetratethechaosinwhichharmonyseemstofloatisthebeginningofagreatadventure.Meetingwithuncertaintystimulatesourmindandbodysoparalysedbyhabit.Thereissomethingsuspectinouradorationofharmony.Icanseeapointin

time in which an altar containing the statuette of Caesar, representing chaos,wouldreplacethatoftheBuddha.Everymorningwewouldpresentanofferingofourabandonmentofharmonybymeditatingon thebeautyof thechaos thatinhabits us, and its infinite possibilities. Situations are not chaotic, only ourreactionstothem.Accepting chaos, floating on it as on a benevolent ocean, is a joyous state

from which fear has been vanquished. By ceasing our desire to control

everything we will feel stimulated, encouraged to desire things to emerge.Controlemergesoutofthefearoffeelingfullyalive.Thereisnoauthenticjoywithoutencounteringchaos.

MyIncursionsintotheCreativityofChaos

Areyouafraidofeverythingthatseemslikechaosinthearts,relationships,materialmatterornaturalcatastrophes?

Doyouavoidcomingnearoropeningyourselftochaoticsituations?

Doyouperceiveemotionalchaosasadangerorasasourceofdiscovery?

Areyouafraidorattractedtochaoticbeings?

Doyouresistthatattraction?

Forthelastfewyears,ourplanetseemstobeinrevoltagainstourlackofecologicalconscience.Doyouexperiencethismultiplicationofnaturalcatastrophesasasignthatweneedtodevelopourconsciousnessorasa

fatality?

Areyoutemptedbytheideaofleavingyourluminousside–theoneinwhichyoumovewitheaseinordertoexploreyourowndarkside,thedarksideofyour

desires,emotionsandfeelings?

Whenotherstellyouaboutdivingintotheirselvesandencounteringchaos,doyoufeellikerunningawayordoyoufeeldrawntosuchanadventure?

17.

Consciousness

CONSCIOUSNESS ISTHEPLACEWHEREall theunconsciousforces,all thecosmicinfluences and the activities of conditioning manifest themselves. To defenditself, it creates a moral consciousness and a consciousness of the world thatrevolves around an illusion of the unity of the ‘I’ separate from the whole.Consciousnessisdeterminedbyaclusteroffactorsfartoovasttobeunderstood.The ego is the creation of this multiplicity that completely escapes analysis.Could there be another way to discover a consciousness that would not beconscious of any particular thing, one thatwould be an empty consciousness,spaciousandluminous,thatwouldincludeeverythingwithoutaneedtonameit?The practice of meditation, regardless of the form or approach, is able to

revealthatawareness.Likethesky,itcontainseverything,wherespecificobjectsfloatlikethestars.Thismeditation,wheretheonewhoperceivesisatonewithwhat is being perceived, is called Samadhi (a non-dual ecstasy). It provides adeep,essentialandlastingjoy.This joywill help us understand that this infinite space is present in every

object,everybeingandeveryparticleofmatter.Onecansaythatthisperceptionisthefoundationofjoy,since,likejoy,itisnotattachedtoaspecificobject.Wecancomparethistoamovieprojector.Thereisthefilm,withtheimages

representingtheawarenessonehasofoneself,themoralconsciousness,andtheillusionoftheego.Thenthereisthelightthathasnoformandislimitless,butrevealstheframesofthefilmandgivesthemanappearanceofcontinuity.Ifoneweretoremovethefilm,allthatwouldbeleftisthelightandthewhitenessofthescreen.Butthroughthepictures,onecanalsoseethelight.Toseethelightofthefilm,oneneedstoknowitbeforeitgivesbirthtoforms.

ThePracticeofConsciousness

Consciousnessmanifestsitselfaspresence,andtoworkwithpresenceissimilartolearningamusicalinstrument,thebodybeingourinstrument.Ifweknowhow

todevelopourattention,itcanharmonisewiththeworldandvibratespontaneously.Inordertodothis,itisbettertopractisemanyshortexercisesoffifteentotwentysecondsratherthanalongerpractice.Doingthisthirty,fortyorfiftytimesadayallowsustoenterintodeepcontactwithasensation,likewaterstreamingoverourbody,thecontactofourbarefeetontheground,smellingandthentastingacupoftea,lookingatthesky,touchinganobject,listeningtoabird,makingeyecontactwithastranger.Enterdeeplyintothecontact,breathebyrelaxingyourabdomen,andafterfifteenortwentyseconds,consciouslyleave

thiscontactandreturntoyourhabitualmode.Afewminuteslater,chooseanothersubjectofattentionandpresence.

Ifyoupractiseforseveraldays,youwilldiscoverthatthemoreyourattentionandpresencedevelop,themoreyourpleasureofbeingintheworldwill

increase.

Itdoesn’ttakelongtodiscoverjoy.Thisdiscoverywillcureyouofwaitingforanexceptionaleventthatwillmakeyouhappy.Themorepresentyouare,thelessyouwillbehypnotisedbyhope.Whatispresent,inthismoment,infrontofyou,

containsallthatisneededtobringyoujoy.

Thesimplefactofbeingabletomove,taste,feel,listen,touchandseeisamiraclewhosebeautyescapesustoooften.

Afterafewweeks,thebodywilldesiremorepresencefromyou.Itisaninstrumentofpleasureand,asitunderstandsthatthereisimmensepleasurein

presence,itnaturallyreturnstoit.

Youareentitledtolivefully.

18.

Love

IFWEHADLOVEWEwouldnotneedanythingelseandanyproblemwouldseeminsignificant. Its scarcity sometimes precipitates a crazy impatience in us.Ourdesirefor lovefreezesusandblocksourdynamismcompletely.Wefeelalone,isolated,inaneffectivecoldness,withonlythehopeofbeinglovedsomeday.Toreceive lovedependsonotherswhocandepriveusof it.There isavery

simplesolutionthatwedonotalwaysthinkabout:givinglovedependsonus.Togive love is, first of all, amanifestation of being present in theworld, of thepresenceof theother,of theability to listen in a stateofphysical,mental andemotionalrelaxation.Sincewearenotaccustomedtoothersbeingpresent,itisnatural for us to succumb to this absence that characterises our socialrelationships, leading to deception games, superficial connections andavoidance.But ifwe give a fewminutes of real presence and attention, the process of

avoidancedisappears.Presencecalls forpresence.Weexperiencepleasure.Anauthenticcommunicationflourishes.Wearenotfarfromlove.Whenonegives,onereceives.Itisassimpleasthat.Inourloverelationships,weoftenconfusegiftandpossession.Acreativelife

implies that we give to others all the space they need in order to blossomcompletely.Butoncetheenthusiasmoftheinitialconnectionpasses,arestrictiveprocessestablishes itself:we limit thebreadthof investigationofourpartners;wewantthemtochange,toconformtoourideas.Lovelanguishes,changingtobitterness.Wedonotcutthewingsoftheotherwithoutpayingaprice.Loveisaconstantcreation.Ifwedonotconfineotherswithinthelimitations

ofourownconcepts,ifwedonotfreezetheminapicture,theywillbeabletoevolvefreelyand,byappreciating their freedom,wewillbeable torediscoverthemdayafterday. It is theonlypowerful tie thatcanestablish itselfbetweentwohumanbeings.Alleffortstolimitorcontrolwillresultinthedeathoflove.Inthisreciprocal,creativebond,joywillmanifestitselfandbindpeopleina

fardeeperwaythananypromisesandlimitations.

QuestionsonLove

Whatismydefinitionoflove?

Accordingtothisdefinition,wouldIsaythatIbothgiveandreceivelove?

WhatisthepartofpossessioninthelovethatIgivetoothers?

AmIreadytogiveallthespaceneededfortotalfulfilmenttotheoneIlove?

Doesthisgiftcoverallareas:money,time,tastes,artisticandpoliticalopinions,andsexuality?

Doesfearofabandonmenthaveaplaceinmyrelationship?

AmImoregenerousinthoughtthaninaction?

AmIjealouswhenIlove?

AmIjealousinlife?

DoIbelievethatthehappinessofanotherpersonrobsmeofapartofmyhappiness?

Isthehappinessofgivinglovethesameformeasreceivinglove?

HaveIalreadyexperiencedalovethatwasnotcentredonanobjectorahumanbeing–afeelingoflovethatincludedtheworld?

19.

BodyandMind

IN CHINESE, THE SAME IDEOGRAM represents both body andmind.Westerners,familiarwith a cultural and religious split, have a difficult timeunderstandingthis.Tonegate,eventotorturethebodyisthewaywechoosetopurifythemind.Unifyingthebodyandthemindisthepathtojoy.Tofindthebodyagainisdifficult.Givinguptheconstantinternaldiscourseis

evenmoredifficult.Thepointhere isnot tonegate themarvellouscapacityofthemind,nor todevalue it in relation to thebody,but to re-establish the rightbalanceandstopmakingthebodytheslaveofourthoughts.Whattakesusawayfrompresenceistheconstantandrecurrentcommentary

of our desires, acts and mental fixations. If we could record a single day ofmental discourse, we would have as much as fifteen to sixteen hours ofcontinuouscommentaryofouractionsandgestures.Bycomparison,readingthisbook only requires an hour. Ongoing discourse is not life; it is only thecommentaryofapossiblelifethatwedonotreallylive.Bypractisingattentionandpresence,thiscommentarywillfadeanddisappear.

There will only be spontaneous action; no fear beforehand, no hesitation, noexplanationaftertheact,butsimplyrestinthesilenceofthemind.ThisiswhatChanpractisesandteaches.Yearsofpracticearerequiredtoachievethisspontaneity,butwecanallreach

abeneficialbalanceinwhichthemind,withoutbeingcompletelysilent,willbeable to generate open spaces, resulting in our actions becoming simpler andmoredirect.To live in joydoesnotmean thatwewillbehypnotisedbyanartificial joy.

Wewillcontinuetobesensitivetothefluctuationsoflife,butitsmanifestationwillseemtobesuspendedinaspaceofjoy.Abodythatisopenandmorefluid,alongwith amore openmind,will not cling to suffering,which itselfwill bedissipatedinarelativelyshorttime.To reach a state of joy requires the courage to ask oneself questions and to

answerthemwithauthenticity.

Theonlygoalofthissmallguideofinternalnavigationistocreateaprocessthatallowsforjoytoflourish.

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