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The difference between clarity and awkwardness.

The difference between clarity and awkwardness

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Page 1: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

The difference between clarity and awkwardness.

Page 2: The difference between clarity and awkwardness
Page 3: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

What is a modifier, anyway?• Modifiers are words, phrases, or clauses

that provide description in sentences. Modifiers allow writers to take the picture that they have in their heads and transfer it accurately to the heads of their readers.

Consider this very “un-modified” sentence:• Stephen dropped his fork.

Page 4: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

Poor Stephen, who just wanted a quick snack before his after school detention, quickly dropped his fork on the cafeteria tray, gagging with disgust as a large cockroach wiggled out of his grilled cheese sandwich, a sight requiring a year of therapy before Stephen could eat bread again. + =

Page 5: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

Adjective = poor. Adjective clause = who just wanted a quick

meal. Adverb = quickly. Adverb clause = as a large cockroach wiggled

out of his grilled cheese sandwich. Absolute phrase = a sight requiring a year of

therapy before Stephen could eat bread again. Infinitive phrase = to get through his after

school detention. Participle phrase = gagging with disgust. Prepositional phrase = on the cafeteria tray.

Page 6: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

You should place single-word modifiers near the word or words they modify.

If these modifiers are placed incorrectly, they are called misplaced modifiers. Consider the following sentence:• [WRONG] After our conversation lessons, we

could understand the Spanish spoken by our visitors from Madrid easily. (Do we understand the Spanish easily, or do the visitors speak it easily?) This revision eliminates the confusion:

• [RIGHT] We could easily understand the Spanish spoken by our visitors from Madrid.

Page 7: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

It is particularly important to be careful about where you put limiting modifiers. These are words like "almost," "hardly," "nearly," "just," "only," "merely," and so on.

Many writers regularly misplace these modifiers. You can accidentally change the entire meaning of a sentence if you place these modifiers next to the wrong word:• [WRONG] Randy has nearly annoyed every professor he

has had by sending them email spam. (he hasn't "nearly annoyed" them)

• [RIGHT] Randy has annoyed nearly every professor he has had by sending them email spam.

• [WRONG] She almost gave $5,000 to charity. (But then she thought better of it and bought a big screen TV.)

• [RIGHT] She gave almost $5,000 to the charity. (Wow, how nice of her!)

Page 8: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

Like individual words, It is important that you place the modifying phrase or clause as close as possible to the word or words it modifies:• [WRONG] By accident, he poked the little girl

with his finger in the eye. (Wha?)• [RIGHT] By accident, he poked the little girl in

the eye with his finger.

• [WRONG] I heard that my roommate intended to throw a surprise party for me while I was outside her bedroom window. (Whoo hoo! Party without the birthday girl!)

• [RIGHT] While I was outside her bedroom window, I heard that my roommate intended to throw a surprise party for me.

Page 9: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

The dangling modifier is usually located at the beginning of a sentence. Sometimes we write descriptive phrases that point to or modify words that are not clearly stated in our sentences, making our sentences illogical. We call these phrases dangling modifiers. • [Wrong] Walking to college on a subzero

morning, my left ear became frozen. (A walking ear?)

• [Right] I was walking to college on a subzero morning when my left ear froze.

Page 10: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come along with a bow and arrow.

Page 11: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

1. A. Piled up next to the washer, I began doing the laundry.

B. I began doing the laundry piled up next to the washer.

2. A. While John was talking on the phone, the doorbell rang.

B. While talking on the phone, the doorbell rang.

3. A. Standing on the balcony, the ocean view was magnificent.B. Standing on the balcony, we had a magnificent ocean view.

Page 12: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

4. A. As I was running across the floor, the rug slipped and I lost my balance.

B. Running across the floor, the rug slipped and I lost my balance

5. A. While taking out the trash, the sack broke.

B. While Jamie was taking out the trash, the sack broke.

Nice job!

Page 13: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

1. A. I almost listened to the whole album.B. I listened to almost the whole album.

2. A. He was staring at the girl wearing dark glasses by the vending machine.

B. He was staring at the girl by the vending machine wearing dark glasses.

3. A. We read that Janet was married in her last letter.

B. In her last letter, we read that Janet was married.

Page 14: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

4. A. The faulty alarm nearly sounded five times yesterday.

B. The faulty alarm system sounded nearly five times yesterday.

5. A. On the evening news, I heard that there was a revolution.

B. I heard that there was a revolution on the evening news.

I think you’ve got it.

Page 15: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

Select one of the following sentences to write on your paper.

Then, draw a simple picture of what your sentence means with the misplaced or dangling modifier.

Lastly, correct the sentence.1. We could see corn growing from our car window.2. Lying on the beach, mosquitoes attacked me.3. While scuba diving, a jellyfish stung me.4. Mario watched a radiant sunset climbing a hill.5. Chris offered him a book swinging in a hammock.6. The man and woman caught several fish using fancy

lures.7. Dipped in yogurt, many people love fresh strawberries.8. The sweater belongs to my friend that has a V-shaped

neck.

Page 16: The difference between clarity and awkwardness

Waiting for the bus, the time went by slowly.

The time went by slowly while I waited for the bus.