7/28/2019 The Days of Her Separation
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The Days of Her Separation(Lev 12:5; 15:25) 9/7/07
Im jealous. My friends enjoyed glorious home births and got to
enjoy their babies from
the first moment on. That is the way God meant it to be. Babies
need their mothers andmothers need their babies. Separation is
traumatic, believe me!
Something happens in a womans heart when she becomes a mother.
Ill never be the
same again. Now I understand how Beulah feels when we take her
baby away and make
him live in a pen with all the other pail bunters. The beef cows
all get to raise their ownbaby but Jerseys are nurse cows and have
to feed more than their own. If I let Beulah
have her baby, he would overeat and get sick. But of course she
cant understand that.
Months after she calved she is bawling at the fence for her
baby. And now Im doing thesame. Understanding does help but its
still HARD to cope.
I was so busy these first few days I hardly had time to think.
But last night the frustration
overwhelmed me and I just bawled. R is MY baby, not the
hospitals! Every day and
every shift it seems my baby has a different nurse; hardly the
same one twice. Somenurses are more understanding and compassionate
than others toward the parents. The
separation factor is already hard on the parent and the nurses
can make or break the
ability to cope.
I have mostly had nice ones but one did sharply remind me that I
must not set foot in thedoor (even for a second to ask a question)
without phoning first. I went back out and
phoned and we got along fine after that.
I am definitely thankful for the care my baby is getting. When I
think of how many
babies are born in the world without access to this professional
care which mine gets atno cost to me (other than the usual taxes!)
I wonder how I could be so privileged. What if
I had been a missionary in the African bush and lost my baby for
lack of access to carelike Ouma and Oupa E did. No wonder Ouma
never really got over it. How is it that God
allowed me to be a missionary to Canada where I am not called to
make such sacrifices?If I had not so many health challenges of my
own in the past 20 years, I very well might
not be here in C. I readAdventist Frontiers (www.afmonline.org)
cover to cover and
would have given my life to missions as soon as I finished
college if I hadnt been too ill.Now I can look back and understand
why Paul says, In everything give thanks (1TH
5:18).
I am certainly thankful for friends whose shoulder I can cry on.
And I so much appreciate
the dozens of emails I have received assuring me of the prayers
and support of family andfriends around the world. I feel as if Im
being held up with arms of love and so I have
not felt lonely in spite of being here in the city on my own. If
I only had my baby then all
would be well. I just pray I can keep my sanity in the waiting
time until I can take herhome.
I trust that today I will be able to talk to someone about the
difficulties I encountered
yesterday with not being able to hold her and the insensitive
nurse that made me feel as
awkward as a wild boar at feeding time last night. The reason I
chose the doctor I did wasbecause her policy is that the parents
are in charge. She takes a stand-back position on
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7/28/2019 The Days of Her Separation
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the birth. If everything is proceeding normally, then she lets
it be. But if she feels that
some intervention is needed, she explains the facts and risks to
the parents and leaves it
up to them to decide. If only all the nurses would do that
now!
The first day the nurse explained why we couldnt hold her
because she wasnt keeping
her temperature up so it wouldnt be a good idea to take her out
of her incubator. That I
could understand. That was only the first day. So I got to hold
her, change her, and helpfeed with the tube the next couple days.
And GR got to hold her and do the feedings threetimes on Sabbath.
[Sorry! The photos are still in his camera!] But yesterday my
schedule
and babys didnt mesh so I missed out on two of the three feeding
times that I can be at
the hospital for. The second time baby was wide awake and the
nurse wouldnt let metake her back out of her box even tho she had
just put her in after feeding. I only missed it
by minutes and she didnt give me any reason.
Then at the evening feed my nurse was busy so another one
assisted. I have always been
awkward with babies and never really felt a need to handle other
peoples babies orovercome that awkwardness. Everyone said that with
your own its different. Well, I wish
that all came with instinct like it does with the mother geese
and cows and deer! Other
nurses have seemed very happy with me doing as much as I can and
have been verypatient with my mistakes. But this one did not make
me feel at ease. She didnt offer to
let me change baby and during the feed she kept interrupting.
She took baby out of my
arms several times instead of just showing me how to do better.
To top it off she let me
know she hadnt been doing this for 25 years for nothing. It is
bad enough to strugglewith the learning curve, but to have your
lack of skill rubbed in your face is just a little
insensitive. I managed to keep myself together though until I
got outside. Then the tears
flowed free. I just pray she was a weekend nurse and that today
I have the nicer onesback!
My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my
heart, and my portion
forever. Psalm 73:26.Now Hannahs prayer is really my own. (See 1
Samuel 2:1-10.) In the end I shall
certainly triumph over the proud.
