The

DALAILAMA’S

Bookof

WISDOM

CONTENTS

COVERTITLEPAGEFOREWORD

PARTONE:CONTENTMENT,JOYANDLIVINGWELL

PARTTWO:FACINGDEATHANDDYING

PARTTHREE:DEALINGWITHANGERANDEMOTION

PARTFOUR:GIVINGANDRECEIVING

COPYRIGHTABOUTTHEPUBLISHER

FOREWORD

The Book of Wisdom is an extract from the earlier publication ofPower ofCompassion–teachingsbyHisHolinesstheDalaiLamagiveninMay1993inLondon.It ishopedthatthisextract–TheBookofWisdom–willbringHisHoliness

the Dalai Lama’s message about the importance of love, compassion andforgivenesstoawideraudience.HisHolinesstheDalaiLamaisthespiritualandtemporalleaderoftheTibetan

people. In 1989 His Holiness the Dalai Lama was awarded the Nobel PeacePrize for his non-violent struggle for the liberation of Tibet. Since 1959 HisHoliness has been living in exile in India. Tibet continues to be occupied byCommunistChina.

TheOfficeofTibet,London

September1999

IamaBuddhistandmywholewayoftrainingisaccordingtotheBuddhistteachingorBuddhaDharma.AlthoughIspeakfrommyownexperience,Ifeelthatnoonehastherighttoimposehisorherbeliefsonanotherperson.Iwillnotproposetoyouthatmywayisbest.Thedecisionisuptoyou.Ifyoufindsomepointwhichmaybesuitableforyou,thenyoucancarryoutexperiments for yourself. If you find that it is of no use, then you candiscardit.

HisHolinesstheXIVDalaiLama

PARTONE

CONTENTMENT,JOYANDLIVINGWELL

Thebasic fact is thatall sentientbeings,particularlyhumanbeings,wanthappinessanddonotwantpainandsuffering.Onthosegrounds,wehaveeveryrighttobehappyandtousedifferentmethodsormeanstoovercomesufferingand toachievehappier lives. It isworthwhile to thinkseriouslyaboutthepositiveandnegativeconsequencesofthesemethods.Youshouldbe aware that there are differencesbetween short-term interest and long-term interest and consequences – and the long-term interest is moreimportant. Buddhists usually say that there is no absolute and thateverythingisrelative.Sowemustjudgeaccordingtothecircumstances.

Our experiences and feelings are mainly related to our bodies and ourminds. We know from our daily experience that mental happiness isbeneficial. For instance, though two people may face the same kind oftragedy,onepersonmayfaceitmoreeasilythantheotherduetohisorhermentalattitude.

Ibelievethatifsomeonereallywantsahappylifethenitisveryimportantto pursue both internal and external means; in other words, mentaldevelopment and material development. One could also say ‘spiritualdevelopment’,butwhenIsay‘spiritual’Idonotnecessarilymeananykindofreligiousfaith.WhenIusetheword‘spiritual’Imeanbasichumangoodqualities. These are: human affection, a sense of involvement, honesty,disciplineandhumanintelligenceproperlyguidedbygoodmotivation.Wehaveallthesequalitiesfrombirth;theydonotcometouslaterinourlives.

As humans,we all have the same human potential, unless there is somesortofretardedbrainfunction.Thewonderfulhumanbrainisthesourceofourstrengthandthesourceofourfuture,providedweutilizeitintherightdirection.Ifweusethebrillianthumanmindinthewrongway,itisreallyadisaster.

I think human beings are the superior sentient beings on this planet.Humanshave thepotentialnotonly tocreatehappy lives for themselves,but also tohelpotherbeings.Wehaveanatural creative ability and it isveryimportanttorealizethis.

With the realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’sability, one can build a better world. According to my own experience,self-confidence is very important. That sort of confidence is not a blindone;itisanawarenessofone’sownpotential.Onthatbasis,humanbeingscantransformthemselvesbyincreasingthegoodqualitiesandreducingthenegativequalities.

ThefundamentalteachingoftheBuddhaishisteachingontheFourNobleTruths:1)Thatthereissuffering;2)thatsufferinghascause;3)thatthereiscessationofsuffering;and,4)thatthereisapathtosuchfreedom.Theunderlyingprincipleofthisteachingistheuniversalprincipleofcausality.What becomes important in the understanding of this basic teaching is agenuineawarenessofone’sownpotentialsandtheneedtoutilizethemtotheirfullest.Seeninthislight,everyhumanactionbecomessignificant.

It ismybelief that thehumanbrainandbasichumancompassionarebynature in some kind of balance. Sometimes,whenwe grow up,wemayneglecthumanaffectionandsimplyconcentrateonthehumanbrain, thuslosingthebalance.Itisthenthatdisastersandunwelcomethingshappen.

The smile is a very important featureof thehuman face.But becauseofhumanintelligence,eventhatgoodpartofhumannaturecanbeusedinthewrongway,suchassarcasticsmilesordiplomaticsmiles,whichonlyserveto create suspicion. I feel that a genuine, affectionate smile is veryimportant in our day-to-day lives. How one creates that smile largelydependsonone’sownattitude.Itisillogicaltoexpectsmilesfromothersifonedoesnotsmileoneself.Therefore,onecanseethatmanythingsdependonone’sownbehaviour.

Theimportantthingistousehumanintelligenceandjudgement,andtobemindful of the benefits for long-term and short-term happiness. Up to acertainpoint,thebodyitselfisagoodindicator.Forinstance,ifsomesortof food causes you discomfort one day, then later you will not want toconsumethat typeoffood. Itseemsthatatacertainstage thebodyitselfcantelluswhatissuitableforwell-beingandhappinessandwhatisnot.

Sometimesyourintelligencemayopposeyourimmediatedesirebecauseitknows the long-term consequences. Thus, the role of intelligence is todetermine thepositiveandnegativepotentialofaneventor factorwhichcouldhavebothpositiveandnegativeresults.Itistheroleofintelligence,with the full awareness that is provided by education, to judge andaccordinglyutilizethepotentialforone’sownbenefitorwell-being.

If we examine our mental world, we find that there are various mentalfactorswhichhavebothpositiveandnegativeaspects.Forinstance,wecanlookat two typeswhich arequite similar: one is self-confidence and theotherisconceitorpride.Bothofthemaresimilarinthattheyareupliftingstatesofmindwhichgiveyouacertaindegreeofconfidenceandboldness.Butconceitandpridetendtoleadtomorenegativeconsequences,whereasself-confidencetendstoleadtomorepositiveconsequences.

I usuallymake a distinction betweendifferent types of ego.One type ofego is self-cherishing inorder toget somebenefit for itself,disregardingtherightsofothers.Thisisthenegativeego.Anotheregosays,‘Imustbeagoodhumanbeing.Imustserve.Imusttakefullresponsibility.’Thatkindofstrongfeelingof‘I’orselfopposessomeofournegativeemotions.

So there are two types of ego, and wisdom or intelligence makes adistinction. Similarly, we must be able to distinguish between genuinehumilityandalackofconfidence.Onemaymistakethetwobecausebothofthesearesortofslightlyhumblingmentalfunctions,butoneispositiveandtheotherisnegative.

There is both positive and negative desire. For instance, the MahayanaBuddhist literature mentions two desires or two aspirations. One is theaspiration to be of benefit to all sentient beings and the other is theaspiration to attain fully the Enlightened state for that purpose.Withoutthese two types of aspiration, the attainment of full Enlightenment isimpossible.Buttherearealsonegativethingswhichresultfromdesire.Theantidotetothisnegativedesireiscontentment.Therearealwaysextremes,butthemiddlewayistheproperway.

The sense of contentment is a key factor for attaining happiness.Bodilyhealth,materialwealth and companions and friends are three factors forhappiness.Contentmentisthekeythatwilldeterminetheoutcomeofyourrelationswithallthreeofthesefactors.

When our attitude towards our material possessions and wealth is notproper, it can lead to an extreme attachment towards such things as ourproperty, houses and belongings. This can lead to an inability to feelcontented. If that happens, then one will always remain in a state ofdissatisfaction, always wanting more. In a way, one is then really poor,becausethesufferingofpovertyisthesufferingofwantingsomethingandfeelingthelackofit.

Nowwhenwetalkaboutobjectsofenjoymentordesireandmaterialwell-being,Buddhist literaturementions five types of objects of desire: form,sound,odours,tastesandtactilesensations.Whetherornottheseobjectsofenjoyment give rise to happiness, satisfaction and contentment, orconversely,giverisetosufferinganddissatisfactiondependsverymuchonhow you apply your faculty of intelligence. Our behaviour in our dailylivesisthekeyfactorindeterminingwhetherthesereallyproducegenuine,long-lastingsatisfactionornot.Muchdependsonourownattitude.Andforthismentalfactor,motivationisthekeything.

InBuddhistliterature,humanlifeisseenasafavourableformofexistenceorrebirth.Therearevariousfactorsthatcouldcomplementthefavourableexistence as a human being, such as having a long life, good health,material possessions and eloquence so that one can relate to others in amorebeneficialway.Butwhetherornot these conditions lead to amorebeneficialexistenceoramoreharmfulonedependsverymuchonhowyouutilizethemandwhetherornotyouapplythefacultyofintelligence.

Buddhist literaturementionspracticeof theSixPerfections.For instance,in the case of acquiring material possessions, according to Buddhism,generosityandtheactofgivingareseenascausesofwealth.Butinordertopractisegenerosityandgivingsuccessfully,onemustfirstofallhaveasoundethicaldiscipline.Andthatethicaldisciplinecancomeaboutonlyifonehastheabilitytobearhardshipswhenconfrontedwiththem.Forthatyoualsoneedacertaindegreeofjoyfuleffort.

Inorder topractise theapplicationof joyfuleffortsuccessfully,onemusthavetheabilitytoconcentrate,tofocusonevents,actionsorgoals.Thatinturndependsonwhetherornotyouhavetheabilitytoexerciseyourpowerofjudgement,tojudgebetweenwhatisdesirableandwhatisundesirable,whatisnegativeandwhatispositive.

Howdowegoaboutimplementinginourdailylivestheprincipleswhichare stipulated in the practice of the Six Perfections? Buddhismrecommendslivingone’slifewithintheethicaldisciplineofobservanceofwhat are known as the Ten Precepts, or Avoidance of the TenNegativeActions.Most of theNegativeActions are common denominators of allreligioustraditions.Theyareseenasnegativeorundesirableforsocietyingeneral,regardlessofanyreligiouspointofview.

Good conduct is theway inwhich life becomesmoremeaningful,moreconstructive and more peaceful. For this, much depends on our ownbehaviourandourmentalattitude.

PARTTWO

FACINGDEATHANDDYING

The issue of facing death in a peaceful manner is a very difficult one.According to common sense, there seem tobe twowaysofdealingwiththe problem and the suffering. The first is simply to try to avoid theproblem,toputitoutofyourmind,eventhoughtherealityofthatproblemisstillthereanditisnotminimized.Anotherwayofdealingwiththisissueistolookdirectlyattheproblemandanalyseit,makeitfamiliartoyouandmakeitclearthatitisapartofallourlives.

Illnesshappens. It isnotsomethingexceptional; it ispartofnatureandafactoflife.Ofcoursewehaveeveryrighttoavoidillnessandpain,butinspiteofthateffort,whenillnesshappensitisbettertoacceptit.Whileyoushouldmakeeveryefforttocureitassoonaspossible,youshouldhavenoextramentalburden.As thegreat Indian scholarShantidevahas said: ‘Ifthereisawaytoovercomethesuffering,thenthereisnoneedtoworry;ifthere is no way to overcome the suffering, then there is no use inworrying.’Thatkindofrationalattitudeisquiteuseful.

Death is a part of all our lives.Whetherwe like it or not, it is bound tohappen.Insteadofavoidingthinkingaboutit,itisbettertounderstanditsmeaning.Weallhavethesamebody,thesamehumanflesh,andthereforewewillalldie.Thereisabigdifference,ofcourse,betweennaturaldeathandaccidentaldeath,butbasicallydeathwillcomesoonerorlater.Iffromthebeginningyourattitudeis,‘Yes,deathispartofourlives’,thenitmaybeeasiertoface.

There are two distinct approaches to dealing with a problem. One is tosimply avoid it bynot thinking about it.Theother,which ismuchmoreeffective, is to face it directly so that you are already conscious of it.Generallytherearetwotypesofproblemorsuffering:withonetype,itispossible that, by adopting a certain attitude, onewill be able to actuallyreduce theforceandlevelofsufferingandanxiety.However, therecouldbeothertypesofproblemsandsufferingforwhichadoptingacertaintypeof attitude and way of thinkingmay not necessarily reduce the level ofsuffering,butwhichwouldstillprepareyoutofaceit.

Whenunfortunatethingshappeninourlivestherearetwopossibleresults.One possibility is mental unrest, anxiety, fear, doubt, frustration andeventuallydepression,and,intheworstcase,evensuicide.That’soneway.Theotherpossibilityisthatbecauseofthattragicexperienceyoubecomemore realistic, you become closer to reality. With the power ofinvestigation, the tragic experiencemaymake you stronger and increaseyour self-confidence and self-reliance. The unfortunate event can be asourceofinnerstrength.

The success of our lives and our future depends on our motivation anddetermination or self-confidence. Through difficult experiences, lifesometimesbecomesmoremeaningful.Ifyoulookatpeoplewho,fromthebeginningoftheirlives,havehadeverything,youmayseethatwhensmallthingshappentheysoonlosehopeorgrowirritated.Othershavedevelopedstrongermentalattitudesasaresultoftheirhardships.

I think the personwho has hadmore experience of hardships can standmore firmly in the face of problems than the person who has neverexperiencedsuffering.Fromthisanglethen,somesufferingcanbeagoodlessonforlife.

Personally,Ihavelostmycountryand,worsestill,inmycountrytherehasbeenalotofdestruction,sufferingandunhappiness.IhavespentnotonlythemajorityofmylifebutalsothebestpartofmylifeoutsideTibet.Ifyouthinkofthisfromthatanglealone,thereishardlyanythingthatispositive.But from another angle, you can see that because of these unfortunatethings I have had another type of freedom, such as the opportunity ofmeeting different people from different traditions and also of meetingscientists from different fields. From those experiencesmy life has beenenriched and I have learned many valuable things. So my tragicexperienceshavealsohadsomevaluableaspects.

Looking at problems from different angles actually lessens the mentalburden.From theBuddhist viewpoint, every eventhasmanyaspects andnaturallyoneeventcanbeviewedfrommany,manydifferentangles.Itisveryrareoralmostimpossiblethataneventcanbenegativefromallpointsofview.Therefore,itisusefulwhensomethinghappenstotrytolookatitfrom different angles and then you can see the positive or beneficialaspects.Moreover, ifsomethinghappens, it isveryuseful immediatelytomake a comparison with some other event or with the events of otherpeopleorothernations.Thisisalsoveryhelpfulinsustainingyourpeaceofmind.

Iwillnowexplain,asaBuddhistmonk,howtodealwithdeath.Buddhataught the principles of the Four Noble Truths, the first of which is theTruthofSuffering.TheTruthofSuffering is taughtwithin thecontextofthree characteristics of existence, the first being impermanence. Whentalkingaboutthenatureofimpermanencewemustbearinmindthatthereare two levels.One is thecoarse level,which isquiteobviousand is thecessation of the continuation of a life or an event. But the impermanentnaturewhichisbeingtaughtinrelationtotheFourNobleTruthsreferstothemoresubtleaspectofimpermanence,whichisthetransitorynatureofexistence.

By reflecting on the coarser levels of impermanence onewill be able toconfront and counteract grasping at permanence or eternal existence ofone’sownidentityorself,becauseitisgraspingatpermanencethatforcesustoclingontothisvery‘now-ness’ormattersofone’slifetimealone.Byreleasingthegripofthisgraspingandenduringwithinus,wewillbeinabetterpositiontoappreciatethevalueofworkingforourfuturelifetimes.

OneofthereasonswhyawarenessofdeathandimpermanenceissocrucialintheBuddhistreligiouspracticeisthatitisconsideredthatyourstateofmindatthetimeofdeathhasaverygreateffectondeterminingwhatformof rebirth you might take. Whether it is a positive state of mind or anegativeonewillhaveagreateffect.Therefore,Buddhistreligiouspracticegreatly emphasizes the importance of the awareness of death andimpermanence.

One of the positive side-effects of maintaining a very high degree ofawarenessofdeath is that itwillprepare the individual tosuchanextentthat,whentheindividualactuallyfacesdeath,heorshewillbeinabetterposition to maintain his or her presence of mind. Especially in TantricBuddhism,itisconsideredthatthestateofmindwhichoneexperiencesatthepointofdeath is extremely subtle and,becauseof the subtletyof thelevelofthatconsciousness,italsohasagreatpowerandimpactuponone’smentalcontinuum.

InTantricpracticeswe finda lotofemphasisplacedon reflectionsuponthe process of death, so that the individual at the time of death not onlyretainshisorherpresenceofmind,butalsoisinapositiontoutilizethatsubtlestateofconsciousnesseffectivelytowardstherealizationofthepath.

FromtheTantricperspective,theentireprocessofexistenceisexplainedinterms of the three stages known as ‘death’, the ‘intermediate state’ and‘rebirth’. All of these three stages of existence are seen as states ormanifestations of the consciousness and the energies that accompany orpropel the consciousness, so that the intermediate state and rebirth arenothingother thanvarious levelsof the subtle consciousness andenergy.Anexampleofsuchfluctuatingstatescanbefoundinourdailyexistence,when during the 24-hour day we go through a cycle of deep sleep, thewaking period and the dream state. Our daily existence is in factcharacterizedbythesethreestages.

Asdeathbecomessomethingfamiliartoyou,asyouhavesomeknowledgeofitsprocessesandcanrecognizeitsexternalandinternalindications,youare prepared for it. According to my own experience, I still have noconfidence that at themoment of death Iwill really implement all thesepracticesforwhichIhaveprepared.Ihavenoguarantee!

SometimeswhenIthinkaboutdeathIgetsomekindofexcitement.Insteadoffear,Ihaveafeelingofcuriosityandthismakesitmucheasierformetoacceptdeath.Ofcourse,myonlyburden if Idie today is, ‘Oh,whatwillhappentoTibet?WhataboutTibetanculture?Whatabout thesixmillionTibetanpeople’srights?’Thisismymainconcern.Otherwise,Ifeelalmostnofearofdeath.

Inmydaily practice of prayer I visualize eight different deity yogas andeightdifferentdeaths.Perhapswhendeathcomesallmypreparationmayfail.Ihopenot!Ithinkthesepracticesarementallyveryhelpfulindealingwithdeath.Evenifthereisnonextlife,thereissomebenefitiftheyrelievefear.Andbecausethereislessfear,onecanbemorefullyprepared.Ifyouarefullypreparedthen,atthemomentofdeath,youcanretainyourpeaceofmind.

Ithinkatthetimeofdeathapeacefulmindisessentialnomatterwhatyoubelievein,whetheritisBuddhismorsomeotherreligion.Atthemomentofdeath,theindividualshouldnotseektodevelopanger,hatredandsoon.I thinkevennon-believers see that it isbetter topassaway inapeacefulmanner,itismuchhappier.Also,forthosewhobelieveinheavenorsomeotherconcept, it is alsobest topassawaypeacefullywith the thoughtofone’s own God or belief in higher forces. For Buddhists and also otherancient Indian traditions, which accept the rebirth or karma theory,naturallyatthetimeofdeathavirtuousstateofmindisbeneficial.

PARTTHREE

DEALINGWITHANGERANDEMOTION

Angerandhatredaretwoofourclosestfriends.WhenIwasyoungIhadquite a close relationship with anger. Then eventually I found a lot ofdisagreement with anger. By using common sense, with the help ofcompassion and wisdom, I now have a more powerful argument withwhichtodefeatanger.

Perhaps there are two types of anger. One type of anger could betransformed into a positive emotion. For example, if one has a sincerecompassionatemotivationandconcern for someoneand thatpersondoesnotheedone’swarningabouthisorheractions,thenthereisnoalternativeexcepttheuseofsomekindofforcetostopthatperson’smisdeeds.

According tomy experience, it is clear that if each individualmakes aneffortthenheorshecanchange.Ofcourse,changeisnotimmediateandittakesalotoftime.Inordertochangeanddealwithemotionsitiscrucialtoanalysewhichthoughtsareuseful,constructiveandofbenefittous.Imeanmainlythosethoughtswhichmakeuscalmer,morerelaxedandwhichgiveuspeaceofmind,versusthosethoughtswhichcreateuneasiness,fearandfrustration.

Withinthebodytherearebillionsofdifferentparticles.Similarly,therearemanydifferentthoughtsandavarietyofstatesofmind.Itiswisetotakeacloselookintotheworldofyourmindandtomakethedistinctionbetweenbeneficialandharmfulstatesofmind.Onceyoucanrecognizethevalueofgoodstatesofmind,youcanincreaseorfosterthem.

BuddhataughttheprinciplesoftheFourNobleTruthsandtheseformthefoundationoftheBuddhaDharma.TheThirdNobleTruthiscessation.Inthis context cessation means the state of mind or mental quality which,throughpracticeandeffort,ceasesallthenegativeemotions.Itisastateinwhich the individual has reached a perfected state ofmindwhich is freefromtheeffectsofvariousafflictiveandnegativeemotionsandthoughts.

The state of true cessation is, according toBuddhism, the refuge that allpractisingBuddhists seek.The reasononeseeks refuge in theBuddha, isnotbecauseBuddhawasfromthebeginningaspecialperson,butbecauseBuddharealizedthestateoftruecessation.

Generallyspeaking,inBuddhistliterature,anegativeemotionorthoughtisdefined as ‘a state which causes disturbance within one’s mind’. Theseafflictive emotions and thoughts are factors that create unhappiness andturmoil within us. Emotion in general is not necessarily somethingnegative. At a scientific conference which I attended along with manypsychologists and neuro-scientists, it was concluded that even Buddhashave emotion, according to the definition of emotion found in variousscientificdisciplines.Sokaruna (infinitecompassionorkindness)canbedescribedasakindofemotion.

Naturally emotions canbe positive andnegative.However,when talkingabout anger, etc., we are dealing with negative emotions. Negativeemotionsarethosewhichimmediatelycreatesomekindofunhappinessoruneasinessandwhich,inthelongrun,createcertainactions.Thoseactionsultimately lead to harm to others and this brings pain or suffering tooneself.Thisiswhatwemeanbynegativeemotions.

In Tantric practice there are meditative techniques which enable thetransformation of the energy of anger. This is the reason behind thewrathfuldeities.On thebasisofcompassionatemotivation,angermay insomecasesbeusefulbecauseitgivesusextraenergyandenablesustoactswiftly. However, anger usually leads to hatred and hatred is alwaysnegative.Hatredharboursillwill.

Iusuallyanalyseangerontwolevels:onthebasichumanlevelandontheBuddhistlevel.Fromthehumanlevel,withoutanyreferencetoareligioustradition or ideology,we can look at the sources of our happiness: goodhealth,materialfacilitiesandgoodcompanions.Nowfromthestand-pointofhealth,negativeemotionssuchashatredareverybad.

Yourmentalstateshouldalwaysremaincalm.Evenifsomeanxietyoccurs,as it isbound to in life,youshouldalwaysbecalm.Likeawave,whichrisesfromthewateranddissolvesbackintothewater, thesedisturbancesareveryshort,sotheyshouldnotaffectyourbasicmentalattitude.Ifyouremaincalmyourbloodpressureandsoonremainsmorenormalandasaresultyourhealthwillimprove.

Someofmyclosefriendshavehighbloodpressure,yet theynevercomenear to having crises in their health and they never feel tired. Over theyearsIhavemetsomeverygoodpractitioners.Meanwhile,thereareotherfriendswhohavegreatmaterialcomfortyet,whenwestarttotalk,aftertheinitialfewnicewords,theybegintocomplainandgrieve.Inspiteoftheirmaterialprosperity,thesepeopledonothavecalmorpeacefulminds.Asaresult, they are always worrying about their digestion, their sleep,everything!Therefore it isclear thatmentalcalmness isavery importantfactorforgoodhealth.

The second source of happiness comes from our material facilities.SometimeswhenIwakeupintheearlymorning,ifmymoodisnotverygood, thenwhen I lookatmywatch I feeluncomfortablebecauseofmymood.Thenonotherdays,dueperhaps to thepreviousday’sexperience,when Iwakeupmymood ispleasantandpeaceful.At that time,when Ilook atmywatch I see it as extraordinarily beautiful.Yet it is the samewatch, isn’t it? The difference comes frommental attitude.Whether ouruseofourmaterial facilitiesprovidesgenuinesatisfactionornotdependsonourmentalattitude.

Itisbadforourmaterialpossessionsifourmindisdominatedbyanger.Tospeak again from my own experience, when I was young I sometimesrepairedwatches. I tried and failedmany times.Sometimes Iwould losemypatience andhit thewatch!During thosemoments,myanger alteredmywhole attitude and afterwards I felt very sorry formy actions. Ifmygoalwastorepairthewatch,thenwhydidIhititonthetable?Againyoucan see how one’s mental attitude is crucial in order to utilize materialfacilitiesforone’sowngenuinesatisfactionorbenefit.

The thirdsourceofhappiness isourcompanions. It isobvious thatwhenyouarementallycalmyouarehonestandopen-minded.Evenifthereisabigdifferenceofopinion,youcancommunicateonahumanlevel.Youcanput aside these different opinions and communicate as human beings. Ithinkthatisonewaytocreatepositivefeelingsinotherpeople’sminds.

Ithinkthatthereismorevalueingenuinehumanfeelingthaninstatusandsoon.Iamjustasimplehumanbeing.Throughmyexperienceandmentaldiscipline, a certain new attitude has developed. This is nothing special.You,who I think have had a better education andmore experience thanmyself,havemorepotentialtochangewithinyourself.Icomefromasmallvillage with no modern education and no deep awareness of the world.Also,fromtheageof15or16Ihadanunthinkablesortofburden.

Eachofyoushould feel thatyouhavegreatpotentialand that,withself-confidenceandalittlemoreeffort,changereallyispossibleifyouwantit.If you feel that your present way of life is unpleasant or has somedifficulties,thendon’tlookatthesenegativethings.Seethepositiveside,thepotential,andmakeaneffort.

So, as far as our contact with fellow human beings is concerned, ourmentalattitudeisverycrucial.Evenforanon-believer,justasimplehonestbeing, theultimate sourceofhappiness is inourmental attitude.Even ifyouhavegoodhealth,materialfacilitiesusedintheproperwayandgoodrelationswithotherhumanbeings,themaincauseofahappylifeiswithin.

Nowyoucanseehowtominimizeangerandhatred.First,itisextremelyimportant to realize the negativeness of these emotions in general,particularlyhatred.Iconsiderhatredtobetheultimateenemy.By‘enemy’I mean the person or factor which directly or indirectly destroys ourinterest.Ourinterestisthatwhichultimatelycreateshappiness.

Wecanalso speakof theexternal enemy.For example, inmyowncase,ourChinesebrothersandsistersaredestroyingTibetanrightsand, in thatway,moresufferingandanxietydevelops.Butnomatterhowforcefulthisis, it cannot destroy the supreme source of my happiness, which is mycalmness of mind. This is something an external enemy cannot destroy.Ourcountrycanbeinvaded,ourpossessionscanbedestroyed,ourfriendscan be killed, but these are secondary for our mental happiness. Theultimatesourceofmymentalhappinessismypeaceofmind.Nothingcandestroythisexceptmyownanger.

Moreover,youcanescapeorhidefromanexternalenemyandsometimesyou can even cheat the enemy. For example, if there is someone whodisturbsmypeaceofmymind,Icanescapebylockingmydoorandsittingquietlyalone.ButIcannotdothatwithanger!WhereverIgo,itisalwaysthere.EventhoughIhavelockedmyroom,theangerisstillinside.Unlessyou adopt a certainmethod, there is no possibility of escape. Therefore,hatredoranger–andhere Imeannegativeanger– isultimately the realdestroyerofmypeaceofmindandisthereforemytrueenemy.

Somepeoplebelievethattosuppressemotionsisnotgood,thatitismuchbetter to let it out. I think there aredifferencesbetweenvariousnegativeemotions.Forexample,withfrustration,thereisacertainfrustrationwhichdevelopsasa resultofpastevents.Sometimes ifyouhide thesenegativeevents, such as sexual abuse, then consciously or unconsciously thiscreates problems.Therefore, in this case it ismuch better to express thefrustrationandletitout.

However,according toourexperiencewithanger, ifyoudonotmakeanattempttoreduceit,itwillremainwithyouandevenincrease.Thenevenwith small incidents you will immediately get angry. Once you try tocontrolordisciplineyouranger, theneventuallyevenbigeventswillnotcauseanger.

Whenangercomesthereisoneimportanttechniquetohelpyoukeepyourpeaceofmind.Youshouldnotbecomedissatisfiedor frustrated,becausethisisthecauseofangerandhatred.Thereisanaturalconnectionbetweencause and effect. Once certain causes and conditions are fully met it isextremelydifficulttopreventthatcausalprocessfromcomingtofruition.Itiscrucialtoexaminethesituationsothatataveryearlystageoneisableto put a stop to the causal process. Then it does not continue to anadvancedstage.

In the Buddhist text A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, the greatscholar Shantideva mentions that it is very important to ensure that apersondoesnotgetintoasituationwhichleadstodissatisfaction,becausedissatisfaction is the seed of anger. This means that one must adopt acertain outlook towards one’s material possessions, towards one’scompanionsandfriends,andtowardsvarioussituations.

Ourfeelingsofdissatisfaction,unhappiness, lossofhopeandsoforthareinfactrelatedtoallphenomena.Ifwedonotadopttherightoutlook,itispossible that anything and everything could cause us frustration. Yetphenomenaarepartofrealityandwearesubjecttothelawsofexistence.Sothisleavesusonlyoneoption:tochangeourownattitude.Bybringingabout a change inouroutlook towards things and events, all phenomenacanbecomefriendsorsourcesofhappiness,insteadofbecomingenemiesorsourcesoffrustration.

Inoneway,havinganenemyisverybad.Itdisturbsourmentalpeaceanddestroyssomeofourgoodthings.Butifwelookatitfromanotherangle,onlyanenemygivesus theopportunity topractisepatience.Nooneelseprovidesuswiththeopportunityfortolerance.Sincewedonotknowthemajority of the five billion human beings on this earth, therefore themajority of people do not give us an opportunity to show tolerance orpatience either. Only those people whom we know and who createproblems for us really provide us with a good opportunity to practisetoleranceandpatience.

Shantidevasaysthatitistheveryintentionofharminguswhichmakestheenemyveryspecial.Iftheenemyhadnointentionofharmingus,thenwewouldnotclassifythatpersonasanenemy,thereforeourattitudewouldbecompletely different. It is his or her very intention of harming uswhichmakes that person an enemy and because of that the enemy provides uswithanopportunitytopractisetoleranceandpatience.Thereforeanenemyis indeed a precious teacher. By thinking along these lines you caneventuallyreducethenegativementalemotions,particularlyhatred.

Anotherquestionisthatifyoualwaysremainhumblethenothersmaytakeadvantageofyouandhowshouldyoureact?Itisquitesimple:youshouldact with wisdom or common sense, without anger and hatred. If thesituationissuchthatyouneedsomesortofactiononyourpart,youcan,withoutanger, takeacounter-measure. Infact,suchactionswhichfollowtrue wisdom rather than anger are in reality more effective. A counter-measure taken in themidstof angermayoftengowrong.Without angerandwithouthatred,wecanmanagemoreeffectively.

There isanother typeofpracticeof tolerancewhich involvesconsciouslytakingonthesufferingsofothers.Iamthinkingofsituationsinwhich,byengaging in certain activities,we are aware of the hardships, difficultiesand problems that are involved in the short term, but are convinced thatsuchactionswillhaveaverybeneficial long-termeffect.Becauseofourattitude and our commitment and wish to bring about that long-termbenefit, we sometimes consciously and deliberately take upon ourselvesthehardshipsandproblemsthatareinvolvedintheshortterm.

I amquite sure that if thisFourteenthDalaiLama smiled less, perhaps Iwould have fewer friends in various places. My attitude towards otherpeople is to always look at them from the human level. On that level,whether president, queen or beggar, there is no difference, provided thatthereisgenuinehumanfeelingwithagenuinehumansmileofaffection.

PARTFOUR

GIVINGANDRECEIVING

Apracticalwayofdirectingloveandcompassion

Compassionisthemostwonderfulandpreciousthing.Whenwetalkaboutcompassion,itisencouragingtonotethatbasichumannatureis,Ibelieve,compassionateandgentle.Forexample,onescientisthastoldmethatthefirstfewweeksafterbirthisthemostimportantperiod,forduringthattimethechild’sbrainisenlarging.Duringthatperiod,themother’stouchorthatof someonewho is acting like amother is crucial.This shows that eventhoughthechildmaynotrealizewhoiswho,itsomehowphysicallyneedssomeoneelse’saffection.Withoutthat,itisverydamagingforthehealthydevelopmentofthebrain.

Whenwegotoahospital,irrespectiveofthedoctor’squality,ifthedoctorshows genuine feeling and deep concern for us, and if he or she smiles,thenwefeelOK.Butifthedoctorshowslittlehumanaffection,theneventhough he or she may be a very great expert, we may feel unsure andnervous.Thisishumannature.

Ineducation, it ismyexperience that those lessonswhichwe learn fromteacherswhoarenotjustgood,butwhoalsoshowaffectionforthestudent,go deep into our minds. Lessons from other sorts of teachers may not.Although youmay be compelled to study andmay fear the teacher, thelessonsmaynotsinkin.Muchdependsontheaffectionfromtheteacher.

Whenweareyoungandagainwhenweareold,wedependheavilyontheaffection of others.Between these stagesweusually feel thatwe can doeverything without help from others and that other people’s affection issimplynotimportant.ButatthisstageIthinkitisveryimportanttokeepdeephumanaffection.

Whenpeopleinabigtownorcityfeellonely,thisdoesnotmeanthattheylack human companions, but rather that they lack human affection.As aresult of this, their mental health eventually becomes very poor. On theotherhand,thosepeoplewhogrowupinanatmosphereofhumanaffectionhaveamuchmorepositive andgentledevelopmentof theirbodies, theirmindsandtheirbehaviour.

Childrenwhohavegrownup lackingapositiveatmosphereusuallyhavemorenegativeattitudes.Thisveryclearly shows thebasichumannature.Also, as I have mentioned, the human body appreciates peace of mind.Things that are disturbing to us have a very bad effect upon our health.Thisshowsthatthewholestructureofourhealthissuchthatitissuitedtoanatmosphereofhumanaffection.Therefore,ourpotentialforcompassionisthere.Theonlyissueiswhetherornotwerealizethisandutilizeit.

The basic aim of my explanation is to show that by nature we arecompassionate, that compassion is something very necessary andsomething which we can develop. It is important to know the exactmeaning of compassion. The Buddhist interpretation is that genuinecompassionisbasedonaclearacceptanceorrecognitionthatothers, likeoneself,wanthappinessandhavetherighttoovercomesuffering.Onthatbasis one develops some kind of concern about the welfare of others,irrespectiveoftheirattitudetooneself.Thatiscompassion.

Yourloveandcompassiontowardsyourfriendsisinmanycasesactuallyattachment.Thisfeelingisnotbasedontherealizationthatallbeingshaveanequalright tobehappyandtoovercomesuffering.Instead, it isbasedon the idea that something is ‘mine’, ‘my friend’ or something good for‘me’. That is attachment. Thus, when the person’s attitude towards youchanges,yourfeelingofclosenessimmediatelydisappears.Withtheotherway,youdevelopsomekindofconcernirrespective,oftheotherperson’sattitudetoyou,simplybecausethatpersonisafellowhumanbeingandhaseveryrighttoovercomesuffering.Whetherthatpersonremainsneutraltoyouorevenbecomesyourenemy,yourconcernshouldremain.

Actuallygenuinecompassionandattachmentarecontradictory.Accordingto Buddhist practice, to develop genuine compassion you must firstpractise themeditationof equalization and equanimity, detachingoneselffrom those people who are very close to you. Then, you must removenegative feelings towards your enemies. All sentient beings should belooked on as equal. On that basis, you can gradually develop genuinecompassionforallofthem.

Itmustbe said that genuine compassion is not likepityor a feeling thatothersaresomehowlowerthanyou.Rather,withgenuinecompassionyouviewothersasmoreimportantthanyourself.

Inordertogenerategenuinecompassion,firstofallonemustgothroughthetrainingofequanimity.Thisbecomesveryimportantbecausewithoutasense of equanimity towards all, one’s feelings towards others will bebiased.SonowIwillgiveyouabriefexampleofaBuddhistmeditativetrainingondevelopingequanimity.You should think about, first, a smallgroup of people whom you know, such as your friends and relatives,towardswhomyouhaveattachment.Second,youshouldthinkaboutsomepeople towhomyou feel totally indifferent.And third, thinkabout somepeoplewhomyoudislike.

Onceyouhaveimaginedthesedifferentpeople,youshouldtrytoletyourmindgointoitsnaturalstateandseehowitwouldnormallyrespondtoanencounter with these people. You will notice that your natural reactionwouldbe thatofattachment towardsyour friends, thatofdislike towardsthepeoplewhomyouconsideryourenemiesandthatoftotalindifferencetowardsthosewhomyouconsiderneutral.Thenyoushouldtrytoquestionyourself.

You should compare the effects of the two opposing attitudes you havetowardsyourfriendsandyourenemies,andseewhyyoushouldhavesuchfluctuating states of mind towards these two different groups of people.Youshouldseewhateffectssuchreactionshaveonyourmindand try toseethefutilityofrelatingtotheminsuchanextrememanner.

I have already discussed the pros and cons of harbouring hatred andgeneratingangertowardsenemies,andIhavealsospokenalittleaboutthedefectsofbeingextremelyattachedtowardsfriendsandsoon.Youshouldreflect upon this and then try tominimize your strong emotions towardsthese twoopposinggroupsofpeople.Thenmost importantly,youshouldreflectonthefundamentalequalitybetweenyourselfandallothersentientbeings.

Just asyouhave the instinctivenaturaldesire tobehappyandovercomesuffering,sodoallsentientbeings;justasyouhavetherighttofulfulthisinnate aspiration, sodoall sentientbeings.Soonwhat exactgroundsdoyoudiscriminate?

Ifwe lookathumanityasawhole,weare social animals.Moreover, thestructuresofthemoderneconomy,educationandsoon,illustratethat theworld has become a smaller place and that we heavily depend on oneanother.Under such circumstances, I think theonlyoption is to live andwork together harmoniously and keep in our minds the interest of thewholeofhumanity.Thatistheonlyoutlookandwaywemustadoptforoursurvival.

Bynature,especiallyasahumanbeing,myinterestsarenotindependentofothers.Myhappinessdependsonothers’happiness.SowhenIseehappypeople,automaticallyIalsofeelalittlebithappierthanwhenIseepeoplein a difficult situation. For example, whenwe see pictures on televisionwhich showpeople starving inSomalia, including old people and youngchildrenthenweautomaticallyfeelsad,regardlessofwhetherthatsadnesscanleadtosomekindofactivehelpornot.

In our daily lives we are now utilizing many good facilities, includingthings like air-conditioned houses. All these things or facilities becamepossible, not because of ourselves, but because of many other people’sdirectorindirectinvolvement.Everythingcomestogether.Itisimpossibletoreturntothewayoflifeofafewcenturiesago,whenwedependedonsimple instruments, not all thesemachines. It is very clear to us that thefacilities that we are enjoying now are the products of the activities ofmanypeople.

Sinceweallhaveanequalrighttobehappyandsincewearealllinkedtooneanother,nomatterhowimportantanindividualis,logicallytheinterestoftheotherfivebillionpeopleontheplanetismoreimportantthanthatofone single person. By thinking along these lines, you can eventuallydevelopasenseofglobalresponsibility.Modernenvironmentalproblems,such as depletion of the ozone layer, also clearly show us the need forworldco-operation. It seems thatwithdevelopment, thewholeworldhasbecomemuchsmaller,butthehumanconsciousnessisstilllaggingbehind.

Awiderormorealtruisticattitudeisveryrelevantintoday’sworld.Ifwelookatthesituationfromvariousangles,suchasthecomplexityandinter-connectedness of the nature ofmodern existence, thenwewill graduallynoticeachangeinouroutlook,sothatwhenwesay‘others’andwhenwethink of others, we will no longer dismiss them as something that isirrelevanttous.Wewillnolongerfeelindifferent.

If you think only of yourself, if you forget the rights andwell-being ofothers,or,worsestill, ifyouexploitothers,ultimatelyyouwill lose.Youwillhavenofriendswhowillshowconcernforyourwell-being.Moreover,if a tragedy befalls you, instead of feeling concerned, othersmight evensecretly rejoice. By contrast, if an individual is compassionate andaltruistic, and has the interests of others in mind, then irrespective ofwhetherthatpersonknowsalotofpeople,whereverthatpersonmoves,heor she will immediately make friends. And when that person faces atragedy,therewillbeplentyofpeoplewhowillcometohelp.

Atruefriendshipdevelopsonthebasisofhumanaffection,notmoneyorpower.Ofcourse,duetoyourpowerorwealth,morepeoplemayapproachyouwithbig smilesorgifts.Butdeepdown thesearenot real friendsofyours; thesearefriendsofyourwealthorpower.Aslongasyourfortuneremains, then these people will often approach you. But when yourfortunes decline, they will no longer be there.With this type of friend,nobodywillmakea sincere effort tohelpyou ifyouneed it.That is thereality.

Genuinehumanfriendshipisonthebasisofhumanaffection,irrespectiveofyourposition.Therefore,themoreyoushowconcernaboutthewelfareand rights of others, the more you are a genuine friend. The more youremainopenandsincere,thenultimatelymorebenefitswillcometoyou.Ifyouforgetordonotbotheraboutothers,theneventuallyyouwillloseyourownbenefit.

There are various positive side effects of enhancing one’s feeling ofcompassion.Oneofthemisthatthegreatertheforceofyourcompassion,the greater your resilience in confronting hardships and your ability totransformthemintomorepositiveconditions.

One form of practice that seems to be quite effective in enhancingcompassion is found inAGuide to theBodhisattvaWayofLife,aclassicBuddhisttext.Inthispracticeyouvisualizeyouroldself,theembodimentof self-centredness, selfishness and so on, and then visualize a group ofpeoplewhorepresentthemassesofothersentientbeings.Thenyouadoptathird person’s point of view as a neutral, unbiased observer andmake acomparativeassessmentofthevalue,theinterestsandthentheimportanceofthesetwogroups.Youwillnaturallybegintofeelmoreinclinedtowardsthecountlessothers.

I also think that the greater the force of your altruistic attitude towardssentient beings, the more courageous you become. The greater yourcourage, the less you feel prone to discouragement and loss of hope.Therefore,compassionisalsoasourceofinnerstrength.

With increased innerstrength it ispossible todevelopfirmdeterminationandwithdeterminationthereisagreaterchanceofsuccess,nomatterwhatobstaclestheremaybe.Ontheotherhand,ifyoufeelhesitation,fearandlackofself-confidence,thenoftenyouwilldevelopapessimisticattitude.Iconsider that to be the real seed of failure. Therefore, even in theconventionalsense,compassionisveryimportantforasuccessfulfuture.

Havingreflecteduponthefaultsofaself-centredwayofthinkingandlife,andalsohavingreflecteduponthepositiveconsequencesofbeingmindfulofthewell-beingofothersentientbeingsandworkingfortheirbenefit,andbeing convinced of this, then in Buddhist meditation there is a specialtraining which is known as ‘the practice of Giving and Taking’. Usingvisualization, it basically involves taking upon yourself all the sufferingpain,negativityandundesirableexperiencesofothersentientbeings.

You imagine taking this sufferinguponyourselfand thengivingawayorsharing with others your own positive qualities, such as your virtuousstates ofmind, your positive energy, yourwealth, your happiness and soforth. Such a form of training, psychologically brings about atransformation in yourmind so effectively that your feeling of love andcompassionismuchmoreenhanced.

One thingyou should remember is thatmental transformations take timeandarenoteasy.IthinksomepeoplefromtheWest,wheretechnologyisso good, think that everything is automatic. You should not expect thisspiritual transformation to take place within a short period; that isimpossible.Keepit inyourmindandmakeaconstanteffort, thenafter1year,5years,10years,15years,youwilleventuallyfindsomechange.Istill sometimes find it very difficult to practice these things.However, Ireallydobelievethatthesepracticesareextremelyuseful.

My favourite quotation from Shantideva’s book is: ‘As long as spaceendures,aslongassentientbeingsremain,untilthen,mayItooremainanddispelthemiseriesoftheworld.’

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