The coronavirus pandemic has made friendship extra complicated for kids. Many are feeling lonely, anxious, and upset, wondering, “Will I even have any friends when this is over?” From the authors of Growing Friendships: A Kids’ Guide to Making and Keeping Friends, this practical and funny ebook helps children ages 6–9 navigate the chal-lenges of social distancing. With relatable cartoons and gentle humor, it explains:

* Fun ways to connect with friends from far away

* What to do when friends don’t respond to messages

* Some low-contact ways to get together with friends as social restrictions ease

ALADDIN BEYOND WORDSAn imprint of Simon & Schuster 8427 N.E. Cornell Road, Suite 500Children’s Publishing Division Hillsboro, Oregon 97221-25431230 Avenue of the Americas 503-531-8700 / 503-531-8773 faxNew York, NY 10020 www.beyondword.com

Text copyright © 2020 by Eileen Kennedy-Moore and Christine McLaughlinCover and interior illustrations copyright © 2020 by Beyond Words/Simon & Schuster, Inc.Cover copyright © 2020 by Beyond Words/Simon & Schuster, Inc.Cover and interior illustrations by Cathi Mingus

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

The vignettes in this book are based on dialogues with children the authors have known. The characters are composites and so no real names have been used. The dialogues represent typical behavior and problems, and they do not refer to specific people or real events. This book is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute and should not substitute for individual professional advice, psychotherapy, or the provision of psychological services.

ALADDIN and related logo are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.BEYOND WORDS PUBLISHING and related logo are registered trademarks of Beyond Words Publishing. Beyond Words is an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com.

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Managing Editor: Lindsay S. Easterbrooks-BrownProofreader: Emmalisa Sparrow WoodInterior and cover design: Sara E. Blum

The text of this book was set in Adobe Garamond Pro.

FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES EVERYWHERE

The authors of Growing Friendships

wrote a bonus guide about making and keeping friends

during the coronavirus pandemic.

I agree. I don’t understand why people don’t

lick themselves. But actually, this book is about having fun with friends even when you can’t be

near them.

Oh, it’s probably about washing

hands a lot. Cats lick themselves all over

to stay clean. People should do that.

Really? Let me see.

What are you reading?

Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

1: Start the Fun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Luke’s Challenge: Feeling Lonely and Bored

2: Message with Kindness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Olivia’s Challenge: Worrying When a Friend Doesn’t Respond

3: Stay Strong . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Pranav’s Challenge: Feeling Angry and Fed Up

Now You Try It! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

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Introduction

The coronavirus pandemic has turned daily life upside down for all of us. School moved online. Your after-school activities were can-celed. Maybe you had to miss fun events like a field trip, concert, vacation, or holiday celebration. You also don’t get to hang out with friends like you used to. And maybe you’re worried about you or someone you love catching the virus. Dealing with the coronavirus pandemic and all the changes it has brought is really, really hard. You’ll probably have times when you feel extra worried or kind of down or super frustrated with how long this keeps going on. All of those reactions are normal and very understandable. Scientists are working very hard to figure out how to handle the coronavirus. In the meantime, this guide can give you some ideas of how to stay connected with your friends during this difficult time. To slow the spread of the virus, kids in many communities are wearing masks or staying six feet apart from people outside their family. In other places, things are opening up. Your grown-ups can help you find safe ways to see your friends through video chat or maybe even in person. Friendship may seem a lot different nowadays, but the most important thing to remember, whether you’re with your friends in person or only online, is that kindness is the key to friendship.

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1Start the Fun

LUKE’S CHALLENGE: FEELING LONELY AND BORED

I miss all my friends!

I wish we could play basketball together.

That’s when it’s really fun.

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There’s nothing to do. Coronavirus

stinks. I’m so sick of being alone.

I don’t understand why he’s so sad. The

pandemic is working for me! All my people are home, and I get

to go on lots and lots of walks.

I like it better when they leave during the day. They’re

sitting in my spot on the couch and no matter how much I glare at

them, they don’t move.

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Under normal circumstances, it’s easy to get together with friends. You see them at school or in the neighborhood. You invite them over. You have a good time together! There’s a special energy that comes from being with friends in person. You feel interested and excited and alive and happy. This “frenergy” is what Luke is missing. But with the coronavirus pandemic, many kids can only get together with their friends online. Frenergy is less powerful when you’re just talking to someone online because you’re separated. But it can still be there. Kids make and keep friends by doing fun things together, so don’t just talk. Luke really has two challenges:

1. He needs to make the effort to connect with friends, even though they can’t get together in person, and

2. He needs to come up with fun things to do online with his friends.

When you’re feeling lonely and grumpy, you may not want to reach out to friends, but that’s when it’s most important to do so. Some kids like playing video games or computer games with their friends. It’s especially fun if you can talk or video chat at the same time. But video games aren’t the only way to connect long distance. Here are a bunch of ideas of things you might want to try doing with friends to get a bit of that frenergy. If you have to share a device with your grown-ups or siblings, you’ll need to figure out together a time when you can reach out to your friends online. It’s hard to have your contact with friends lim-ited, but these ideas will help you make the most of when you do get to video chat with them.

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PLAY A PHYSICAL GAME

Some of the board games or card games you enjoy playing in person can work online.

Scavenger Hunt: Look up images for “at-home scavenger hunt.” You’ll see lots of options. Choose one with your friend and see who can find all the items fastest.

Battleship: Try to sink your opponent’s ships by guessing their location on a grid before your opponent sinks your ships. If you both have the game, set it up so you each use a station. Otherwise, look online for printouts of battleship game boards to use. https://www.gameideasforkids.com /battleship.htm

Mad Libs: Write a silly story with your friend. One of you needs a Mad Libs book, or you can use the Mad Libs app http://www.madlibs.com/apps/ or try an online one here https://www.madtakes.com/. You ask your friend to think of nouns, adjectives, or verbs, and when they’re inserted into a story that you read back to the friend, they sound very funny. Do it again, switching roles.

Bingo: One person needs the spinner to call out the numbers. Scan or take pictures of some cards and send them to your friend or use a bingo card generator like this one https://myfreebingocards.com/numbers/1-75. Use pennies to cover the spots. Keep calling out numbers until someone covers five spots in a row, up and down, sideways, or diagonally.

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War (card game): Each person uses a deck of cards, or agree on starting with a smaller number of cards. (This game can take awhile!) Both of you flip over the top card. If your card is bigger than your friend’s, you get to keep your cards. If your friend’s card is bigger, you lose your card. Set it aside. If you match, have a war! Put down three facedown cards then a faceup card. The person with the bigger card keeps their cards, and the other person puts all of their cards in the war aside. Play until one person runs out of cards.

Guess Who: In this game, you each choose a character from a set of pictures on a sheet then ask each other yes-no questions (e.g., Do you have blue eyes? Do you have facial hair?) until you figure out who the other person’s character is. If you both have the game, make sure you have the same set of characters, and set up a holder for each of you. If you don’t have the game or you have different sets, go online and download matching characters sheets. https://www .hasbro.com/en-gb/guesswho/guess-who-characters. You can also play this game just using your imagination. Each of you think of an animal (e.g., squirrel, walrus) and then ask yes-no questions (e.g., Do you live on a farm? Do you have fur?) to figure out what the other person’s animal is.

Hedbanz: This is similar to Guess Who. You both need the game, but don’t use the plastic rings to put things on your head. Pick a card (and don’t show it!) for your friend to guess while your friend picks a card for you to guess. Ask each other yes-no questions. Whoever figures out the card first, wins.

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Outburst Junior: You both need this exciting guessing game to play it. Tell your friend a category. Your friend tries to guess as many things listed in that category as possible before the timer runs out. Then switch roles.

Bop It or Simon: These games can be played in solo mode, but if you and your friend both have them, you can take turns doing the moves and seeing who can last longest.

Pictionary: Draw a picture to help your friend guess a word or phrase listed on a game card before time runs out. If you both have the game, you can each use your own set of cards to pick a word when it’s the other person’s turn to guess. If only one of you has the game, when it’s the game owner’s turn to guess, that player can close his or her eyes and show the other player a card. You can also play a fun online version of this game called skribbl.io. Set up a virtual “private room” so it’s just you and your friend playing.

Simon Says: Give your friend instructions of silly things to do such as, “Simon says, ‘Scratch your belly,’” or “Simon says, ‘Hop on one foot.’” But then slip in an instruction without saying, “Simon says”! If your friend does it, oops! It’s your turn to receive instructions, and your friend’s turn to tell you what Simon says.

Hangman: Think of a word and write lines to show a space for each letter. Have your friend guess letters to try to figure

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out the word. If your friend guesses a letter that’s not in the word, write it down and draw one line of a hangman (or a house, if you prefer). Your friend has to try to guess the word before the drawing is complete. Secret hint: the best word ever for hangman, because it’s so hard to guess, is BURP.

HANG OUT AND PLAY ONLINE

Being with your friend online while you do activities you each enjoy can be a good way to connect, even if you’re doing those activities separately.

Legos: If you’re a Legos fan, this might be a good time to start a new kit or make something from your imagination. If your friend does it at the same time, you can admire each other’s progress.

Do a craft: Make friendship bracelets, weave something with rainbow looms, or just draw or color together. You can enjoy each other’s company through video chat while doing this and maybe even mail the end result to each other.

Watch a movie together: On Netflix, you can set up watching the same movie at the same time with friends.

Share a meal—long distance: You might even want to make the same recipe. But even if you decide to eat something different, you can invite your friend or even your friend’s whole family, to join you for a meal through video chat. Just make extra room at the table for a laptop.

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LEARN TOGETHER, APART

If you have very limited time when you can videochat with your friends, a good option is to work on the same thing separately and then share progress when you can get together online.

Juggling: Do you know how to juggle? This would be a great time to learn, and it will be more fun if your friend tries to learn with you! Get a kit or use what you have lying around. Watch an instructional video. Start with two thin scarves. Build from there. Practice when you’re apart, then show each other how you’re doing and encourage each other when you can get together.

Magic tricks: Who doesn’t love magic tricks?! You and your friend can each learn some to amaze each other, then teach each other how to do them.

Cartwheels: Cartwheels are fun but they take a lot of practice to learn. Now’s the time! See what you can do on your own then give each other pointers and encouragement.

Make animals or pictures out of fingerprints: Be creative! Use an inkpad or markers to create a bunch of fingerprints on a piece of paper. Surprise your friend with the funny pictures you can make out of the fingerprints.

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SHARE SOMETHING FUN

In between online get-togethers with your friend, you can stay in touch by sending each other friendly messages. Here are some possibilities.

Send a joke: Bring a smile to your friend’s face by sharing a joke or funny meme. Your friend might send one back!

Share baby pictures or an old video: It’s fun to see what friends looked like when they were little. Share some photos or videos from preschool or before. Was your friend bald or hairy as a baby?

Create a surprise video for your friend: Maybe show your dog’s new trick or you doing a silly dance or singing a goofy song. Maybe demonstrate a funny trick. It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it’s probably better if it isn’t. Just send something to brighten your friend’s day.

STAY SAFE ONLINE

With so much of kids’ life now taking place online, it’s especially important to be both smart and kind when you’re using an elec-tronic device. Your grown-ups are the best people to help you figure out online safety, but here are some things you’ll definitely want to keep in mind:

* Don’t talk to people online who you haven’t met in person. They may not be who they say they are.

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* Be careful not to share personal information online. This includes your real name, age, birthdate, and address.

* Never pretend to be someone you aren’t. That’s lying.

* Never forward a message or picture that someone sent you. That’s like blabbing. It’s up to the sender to decide who gets the message.

* Never say mean things about others online. Mean comments can last forever on the internet, and they can spread like dandelions in grassy lawn.

* Don’t message anyone when you’re mad or upset. Give yourself time to cool down and think clearly.

* Remember, nothing you put online is ever private. Don’t write or send anything that you wouldn’t want announced over morning announcements at your school.

* If you get into a situation where kids are picking on you online, take a screenshot, then tell your grown-ups. Don’t respond or you could make the situation worse.

* Sometimes kids come across inappropriate pictures online. If you do, don’t click on anything. Walk away from the device and get your grown-ups’ help.

* Keep in mind that messages can wait. If you’re busy doing something, you don’t have to stop just because a friend messaged you.

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* Put the gadgets away at bedtime, mealtimes, and when you’re doing something with your family.

* Staying connected with friends online during the pandemic is important, but so is getting outside, reading books, exercising, cleaning up your room, taking a shower, talking or playing with family members, and all the other things you do when you’re not online. Talk with your grown-ups about how much and what kind of screen time is right for you.

Cats do not like to be chased.

We prefer less active forms of

entertainment, like sitting on my owner’s

head when he’s sleeping. That’s

always interesting.

When I feel lonely and bored, I just eat things. I chew on the legs of chairs. I eat any socks lying

around. Oh! And I’ve found that if I put my front legs on the counter and grab some napkins, my people

chase me all through the house! That’s fun!

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2Message with Kindness

OLIVIA’S CHALLENGE: WORRYING WHEN A FRIEND DOESN’T RESPOND

I messaged Shondra a bunch

of times an hour ago, and she still hasn’t

answered.

Well, maybe she’s busy.

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I’m scared she doesn’t like me anymore. She told me last

week that she’s been video chatting a lot with Callie.

They’re neighbors, so they

even get to see each other sometimes

when their families go for walks.

You know, if Shondra isn’t replying

to text messages, maybe Olivia should

try howling. Whenever I do that, all the dogs in the neighborhood start howling too.

It’s great!

Maybe for you.

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Feeling cut off from friends is one of the hardest parts of dealing with the coronavirus pandemic. It’s easy to have your fears build up when you’re not seeing each other regularly in person, especially if you tend to worry a lot about what people think of you or whether they really like you. Also, you may not feel as close to your friends when your contact with them is limited. The distance that you’re feeling may lead you to assume that your friend is rejecting you, when really it’s just the situa-tion of being apart. Try not to view sending a message to a friend as a test of the friendship. Thinking, “If they respond right away, that means they like me. If they take too long to respond, that means they don’t care about me at all!” is not fair to the friend. It puts too much pressure on the friend and attaches too much meaning to small actions. It’s important to have realistic expectations about friends respond-ing. When you’re sitting home alone, of course you want a response right away! But, with some friends, it could take a day or even a week to get a response. If the message isn’t urgent, the friend might not respond at all. That’s disappointing, but it might have nothing to do with how the friend feels about you.

THINK OF POSSIBLE REASONS

If Olivia knows she did something to upset Shondra, she should definitely apologize as soon as possible. That’s a good way to start making up with a friend after a conflict. But what if there was no conflict? Olivia needs to be careful about jumping to conclusions about why Shondra hasn’t responded to her messages. If she assumes that it’s because Shondra doesn’t like her, she could be making herself miserable for no reason.

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As Olivia’s Dad implied, there are lots of reasons why a friend might not respond immediately. Here are some of those reasons. Can you think of more?

Maybe she’s busy doing homework.

Maybe she got in trouble and her grown-ups took her device away.

Maybe she’s doing something with her family.

Maybe she doesn’t have her device with her because she left it in the other room.

Maybe she forgot to charge her device.

Maybe she’s sick and not feeling up to chatting.

Maybe she’s tired of being online and is just taking a break.

Maybe she doesn’t like online messaging and is often bad about responding.

Maybe . . .

Thinking about all the reasons why a friend might not be responding helps you take it less personally. No one is available all the time, so it’s not kind or fair to assume that a lack of response means your friend doesn’t care about you.

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WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN A FRIEND DOESN’T RESPOND

But what should Olivia do when Shondra doesn’t respond? Before we talk about that, we need to talk about what she should definitely not do. Olivia should definitely not message Shondra every ten seconds demanding, “Why aren’t you answering? You need to answer! You’re being mean by not answering me!” Sending a friend lots and lots of messages, one after the other, can feel overwhelming or annoying to the friend. It’s kind of like a one-sided water balloon fight, where you’re the only one throwing water balloons, and your friend is just standing there, ducking for cover. That’s no fun for the friend.

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Conversations between friends need to be more like a game of catch, where both friends take turns sending and receiving. If you find that you’re doing a lot more sending than your friend, you prob-ably need to dial it back so it’s more even. The other thing that Olivia should definitely not do is decide never to speak to Shondra ever again because she didn’t respond. If Olivia gives up on the friendship just because she’s frustrated, she’ll be rejecting a friend for failing to do exactly what she wants. That’s not kind. And it’s not a good reason to end a friendship.

GIVING A FRIEND SOME SPACE

Olivia needs to find a middle ground between pushing for a response versus dumping Shondra. She needs to accept that—for whatever reason—Shondra can’t or doesn’t want to chat right now. That’s okay. Good friends are willing to give each other space when needed. Olivia should wait a day or two and then try again to contact her. It can be hard to wait, but doing so gives Shondra a chance to reach out to Olivia. If they’ve been close friends before, they can continue to be close friends, despite the temporary lack of response. A small bump of disconnection doesn’t have to end a good friendship.

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REACHING OUT THE RIGHT WAY WHEN A FRIEND DOESN’T RESPOND

The new message that Olivia sends after a day or two should not be “Are you mad at me?” That question can come across as whiny. Also, if Shondra is upset with Olivia, it’s her job to say something. It’s not Olivia’s job to dig for problems. Olivia’s message also shouldn’t be something like “You’re mean,” “I’m mad at you,” or “I hate you.” Who would want to answer a message like that?! Even though Olivia is feeling hurt, lashing out at Shondra isn’t going to get the response she wants. Trying to have a conversation about painful feelings over text rarely works. Most communication about feelings happens through our tone of voice, facial expression, or body language. So there’s a big chance of misunderstanding when people just text about feel-ing upset. It’s best to wait until they’ve reconnected and maybe use video chat if they can’t talk in person about problems. Olivia’s new message should be something friendly. This makes it more likely that Shondra will answer in a friendly way. Olivia could ask about something going on in Shondra’s life, such as “How’s your new puppy?” or “Have you seen any good movies lately?” She could share something funny or interesting, or she could invite Shondra to do something fun with her, such as play-ing a game or watching a movie together online. She could also express concern for Shondra by sending a message like “Hi, I haven’t heard from you in awhile. Are you okay?” (Remember those “Maybes” you thought of?) And if Shondra still doesn’t respond to a second message after a day or two? Olivia should wait a week then try reaching out again. She might want to try contacting Shondra in a different way, such as a video or phone call instead of a message.

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RECONNECTING WITH A FRIEND AFTER A GAP

If they do connect, whether it’s after a day, a week, or longer, Olivia definitely shouldn’t give Shondra a hard time about her earlier lack of response. Instead, she should just let the past be the past and focus on having a good time together in that moment. Doing fun things together is what builds and strengthens friendships. Once they’ve reconnected, Olivia could gently ask for what she wants by saying something like, “Could you please try to respond to my texts? It’s frustrating for me when I send you something and don’t hear anything back.”

Cats prefer a more subtle approach. If my people ignore me

too much, I punish them by secretly peeing on the couch.

I don’t like it when my people ignore me. When I want attention, I bark and bark

and bark.

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But, out of caring for Shondra, Olivia may decide not to do this. The pandemic is hard on everyone. A little extra understanding and forgiveness, especially during difficult times, is good for friendships.

WHEN A FRIENDSHIP STRUGGLES

What if Shondra really is annoyed with Olivia and ignoring her on purpose? What if she still doesn’t reply after Olivia waits a few days and then waits another whole week? That can happen, and it’s hard. But demanding a response or being nasty won’t help. We can’t force people to talk to us. Maybe Shondra will reach out later or maybe she won’t. But Olivia’s best bet is to leave the door open to friendship down the road. One thing that makes Shondra’s lack of response extra hard is that Olivia feels jealous of Shondra’s relationship with Callie. She imagines Shondra and Callie having lots of cozy conversations while she’s left out, sitting home alone. What if Olivia is right, and Shondra really does prefer spending time with Callie? Friends are allowed to have other friends. We can’t control other people’s feelings or relationships. Shondra has a right to be friends with whomever she wants. It might be tempting for Olivia to say mean things about Callie to Shondra, to try to break up that friendship, but that’s likely to backfire. There is zero chance of Shondra thinking, “Ooh! I want to be better friends with Olivia because she’s mean to Callie!” Out of caring for Shondra, Olivia needs to accept her friendship with Callie and maybe even try to get to know Callie better. Maybe the three of them could do fun things together online.

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ADDING MORE FRIENDS

No matter what happens with Shondra, it would be a good idea for Olivia to try to reach out to other friends. Who else did she have fun with before the pandemic? Those kids are also sitting home and would probably appreciate hearing from Olivia. Even if she hasn’t talked to them in awhile, this is a great time to reconnect. A larger circle of friends gives you more options for fun and puts less pressure on each individual friendship. It’s a bit like having more than one favorite shirt. If one is in the wash or lost somewhere in your room, you can just enjoy the other one, and neither shirt gets worn out.

I have a favorite shirt!

It used to belong to one of my people, but now I sleep with

it. I also chew on it so it’s nice

and holey.

I wouldn’t want to wear a shirt. It would cover all my beautiful fur. But I heard a story once called “Puss in

Boots.” I think I would look amazing in boots. I don’t know why my people never buy them for me.

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3Stay Strong

PRANAV’S CHALLENGE: FEELING ANGRY AND FED UP

I’m sorry, Sweetie. I can’t

let you have your friends over.

But why? It’s not fair!It’s my birthday! And besides,

Theo and Carson’s parents let them have playdates all the time!

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I’m going to have no friends! How can I be friends with anyone if they’re all getting together, and I’m stuck at

home? I hate the stupid coronavirus! It’s ruining everything.

That’s too bad that his birthday is getting wrecked.

I can totally relate! I haven’t been able to see all my friends at the dog park in weeks! But at least when I go for a walk, I can sniff the hydrants near my house, where they’ve been. That’s a good way

to communicate with friends. Maybe he should try that!

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It’s not always easy to do the right thing, especially when other people have different rules for handling social distancing. Pranav’s family may have an extra strong reason for being cautious about coronavi-rus exposure: maybe someone in the family has asthma, diabetes, or high blood pressure, or a grandparent is living with them. Or maybe his grown-ups just don’t want to take the risk of him or anyone in the family getting what can be a very serious illness. Pranav’s grown-ups aren’t making the rules to be mean. They’re doing their best to keep everyone safe. Pranav is worried that a long separation from his friends will hurt those friendships, especially if the other kids are getting together without him. That could happen, but his good friends will be extra happy to see him when they finally can get together. In the mean-time, it’s important to do what he safely can to stay connected with his friends.

IDEAS FOR A SOCIALLY DISTANT CELEBRATION

But where does that leave Pranav and his birthday? First, let’s be honest and agree that it stinks for him to have a birthday during the pandemic. He’s not going to be able to celebrate it the way he wants. So, what he needs to do is talk with his grown-ups about what he can do. With the new normal, until the virus is totally under con-trol, we’re all going to have to be creative about how to celebrate special events.

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Pranav can definitely plan a special birthday meal and maybe do something new and different. Maybe his grown-ups would let him camp in the backyard or the family room with a sibling. Maybe the family could have a silly string fight outside. Maybe the family could create a giant marble track with empty paper towel rolls and tape, a treasure hunt, or an obstacle course for family members to race through. Maybe they could set up a tire swing or a slack line between two trees to practice walking on, or stay up late to watch a movie marathon together. A video-call party with friends or extended family is definitely not as good as an in-person party, but something is something. A game that includes everyone, like some of the ones we mentioned in the first chapter, could make things more festive.

SOME LOW-CONTACT OPTIONS

Pranav could have a conversation with his grown-ups about whether there’s anything else he could do to celebrate his birthday that would be reasonably safe but also allow Pranav to at least see friends. They might say that, given their circumstances, no in-person contact is allowed right now, and Pranav would have to accept that. But they might be willing to consider some very safety-conscious options. Would they be comfortable with Pranav’s friends driving by with their grown-ups while he talks to them from a distance, and they stay in their cars? Even seeing a friend’s face directly (not through a screen) can feel great! Would his grown-ups be comfortable with one friend coming over for an hour in Pranav’s back yard if each kid stays on only half of the yard? The adults could put two ropes parallel on the ground to mark a 6-foot “no contact” zone in the middle. If both kids stay on their side, they’re definitely far enough apart. The kids could play the

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same game, while physically separated. Having a sack race, blowing two sets of bubbles, drawing with two sets of chalk, or playing with two different hacky sacks are all possibilities. What if Pranav’s family and another family met at a park for a birthday picnic breakfast (when the park isn’t crowded) and set up their blankets six-feet apart? Each family could bring their own food, and the grown-ups would be there to make sure the kids remember to go no closer than the edge of their picnic blanket. Any plans to see a friend in person require that the grown-ups believe that both Pranav and the other kid understand the impor-tance of obeying the rules. Some kids are not so good at remembering to stay apart—which makes sense because it’s a weird thing to do! But it may also be necessary for safety in Pranav’s situation. These aren’t normal ways to get together with friends, but they’re inching toward normal.

MOVING FORWARD

As the coronavirus pandemic drags on, almost everyone is going to have moments of thinking, “I’m so sick of this! I wish things could just go back to the way they were!” That’s completely under-standable, but, unfortunately, safety measures like wearing a mask, washing hands a lot, and staying away from crowds are going to be with us for a while.

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Exactly what the virus safety rules look like for you at a particu-lar point in time will depend on your situation. Your grown-ups will consider the latest news, how common the virus is in your commu-nity, and official guidelines and recommendations to figure out what makes sense now for you and your family. The pandemic situation is changing and evolving. Doctors are getting better at figuring out how to treat this illness, and in some places, fewer people are getting sick. At some point, things will get back to normal. Kids will go back to school, and more people will get together in person. There are a lot of smart people working hard to solve the coro-navirus pandemic, take care of sick people, and keep our country running. Those people are real heroes. When you follow safety rules, you’re also being a hero because you’re doing something to help your family and everyone in your community, even though it’s hard for you, personally. It’s really, really hard. Thank you for being a hero.

DO YOUR PART

The coronavirus pandemic will be easier to bear if everyone pitches in. Even though you’re a kid, there are things you can do to help.

You can write a letter or draw a picture to send to a nursing home or hospital.

You can help your family choose organizations you want to donate money or food to.

You can call a relative or neighbor who might be feeling lonely.

When we get together, I love

sniffing each other, chasing each other’s tails, taking turns drinking from the

toilet, and then lying down on top of each other for a nice nap.

Sounds great! I like doing all of those things with

you too. But I know you’re a good friend even when we don’t

get to see each other.

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You can work with a parent to make masks.

You can write inspiring and encouraging chalk messages or participate in a neighborhood applause session for healthcare workers.

You can help organize or participate in a neighborhood “Find a Bear,” so kids going on walks can look for the bear in the window of every house.

Reaching out to stay in touch with friends counts as a kindness. And don’t forget your family. You may want to try to do an act of kindness for someone in your family every single day. When you choose to have a good attitude and be kind to the people you’re living with, it makes everyone’s experience a bit better. It’ll make you feel happier too.

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NOW YOU TRY IT!

Friendship during the coronavirus pandemic takes more work than it does in person. You have to make extra effort to get together and to plan fun things to do. It’s easy for loneliness, worries, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings to happen when you don’t see each other like you used to. And it’s just plain frustrating to have to put up with being away from friends for so long. Even though friendship looks very different right now, the parts that are the same are caring about each other and enjoying each other’s company. The amazing thing about friendships is that they can grow in all kinds of circumstances. You’ve probably had all kinds of feelings as you’ve been going through this. Talking to your grown-ups can help. Here are some things you might want to think about and discuss.

* What part of dealing with the coronavirus pandemic has been hardest for you?

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* Is there anything that’s been a bit better than usual for you or your family during the pandemic?

* What are you most looking forward to being able to do when all the restrictions in your area are lifted?

* Which of the ideas of fun things to do mentioned in this guide would you like to try?

* Which friends might be fun to contact whom you haven’t reached out to in awhile?

* What acts of kindness would you like to do for a friend, relative, or community members?

About the Authors

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is an author and clinical psy-chologist, based in Princeton, New Jersey. Her most recent book for children, coauthored with Christine McLaughlin, is Growing Friendships. She has also written or coauthored four books for par-ents: Kid Confidence, Smart Parenting for Smart Kids, The Unwritten Rules of Friendship, and What’s My Child Thinking? She is the profes-sor for an audio-video series from The Great Courses, called Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids. A trusted expert on parenting and child development, Dr. Kennedy-Moore serves on the advisory board for Parents magazine, and her blog, Growing Friendships on Psychology Today, has almost 4 million views. Dr. Kennedy-Moore has been a featured guest on Live with Kelly and Ryan, The Today Show, Good Day Philadelphia, and dozens of major radio shows and podcasts. She has been interviewed and quoted in numerous newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, Parents, Real Simple, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day. She and her hus-band have four children. Learn more at EileenKennedyMoore.com or DrFriendtastic.com (for children).

Christine McLaughlin is a prolific freelance writer, editor, and author, whose work focuses primarily on parenting and health. She has published several hundred articles in national magazines and high-traffic websites. She is also author of The Dog Lover’s Companion to Philadelphia (Perseus), Philadelphia: A Photographic Journey (Twin Lights Publishers), BAYADA: 40 Years of Compassion, Excellence and Reliability (Bayada), and coauthor of the American Red Cross: Dog First Aid and Cat First Aid books. She and her husband live in the Philadelphia area with their three children and loveable golden retriever. ChristineMcLaughlin.net.

A funny and useful guide to friendship for

children ages 6–9.

Available at bookstores everywhere.