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T H E COMPANION One Life. One Choice. One Gift. FALL 2013 The holidays can be a very difficult time for people who are grieving. While others feel excitement and joy, you may be feeling sadness and loneliness. Things around you trigger memories of the one you love who has died. Everyone’s grief and mourning are unique and people cope differently with their feelings. We would like to share some ideas of things that might be helpful during this holiday season: Talk about your grief – ignoring your grief won’t make the pain go away and talking about it may help to make you feel better. THE HOLIDAY SEASON Do what is right for you – others may try to convince you that they know best. Focus on what you’d like to do and discuss your wishes with a trusted friend. Plan ahead – think about what traditions you wish to continue and which new ones you would like to begin. If you accept an invitation to a social event, let the person know your acceptance is conditional on how you feel at the time of the event. You can also accept the invitation and explain that you may need to leave early. Choose a candle or a single flower for the table to honor your loved one. Purchase or make a special wreath or other decoration as a memorial. You might decorate a wreath with pictures and items that were loved by the person who died and place the wreath at his or her grave. Purchase a holiday book or your loved one’s favorite book and donate it to your local library or school. Ask the librarian to place a label in the front cover inscribed, “In Memory of” with your loved one’s name. Embrace your memories - at a family gathering, place a box or basket near the door. As people arrive, ask them to write a memory on a piece of paper and leave it there. At some point, read these memories. It may comfort you and encourage others to share their memories. Be kind to yourself – if you need quiet time alone, take it. We at OneLegacy will be thinking of you and wish you peace this holiday season. If you are in need of additional support, please feel free to contact us at familycare@ onlegacy.org or 800-423-7220. OneLegacy Aftercare staff (L to R): Eriq Christensen, Deborah Tanner, Luz Diaz. (Front) Anna Binder, Michelle Post. Not pictured: Flora Leos, Kari Kozuki

The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

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Page 1: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

The CompanionOne Life. One Choice. One Gift.

FALL

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The holidays can be a very difficult time for people who are grieving. While others feel excitement and joy, you may be feeling sadness and loneliness. Things around you trigger memories of the one you love who has died.

everyone’s grief and mourning are unique and people cope differently with their feelings. We would like to share some ideas of things that might be helpful during this holiday season:

• Talk about your grief – ignoring your grief won’t make the pain go away and talking about it may help to make you feel better.

The Holiday season• Do what is right for you – others may try to convince

you that they know best. Focus on what you’d like to do and discuss your wishes with a trusted friend.

• Plan ahead – think about what traditions you wish to continue and which new ones you would like to begin.

• If you accept an invitation to a social event, let the person know your acceptance is conditional on how you feel at the time of the event. You can also accept the invitation and explain that you may need to leave early.

• Choose a candle or a single flower for the table to honor your loved one.

• Purchase or make a special wreath or other decoration as a memorial. You might decorate a wreath with pictures and items that were loved by the person who died and place the wreath at his or her grave.

• Purchase a holiday book or your loved one’s favorite book and donate it to your local library or school. Ask the librarian to place a label in the front cover inscribed, “In Memory of” with your loved one’s name.

• embrace your memories - at a family gathering, place a box or basket near the door. As people arrive, ask them to write a memory on a piece of paper and leave it there. At some point, read these memories. It may comfort you and encourage others to share their memories.

• Be kind to yourself – if you need quiet time alone, take it.

We at OneLegacy will be thinking of you and wish you peace this holiday season. If you are in need of additional support, please feel free to contact us at [email protected] or 800-423-7220.

OneLegacy Aftercare staff (L to R): Eriq Christensen, Deborah Tanner, Luz Diaz. (Front) Anna Binder, Michelle Post. Not pictured: Flora Leos, Kari Kozuki

Page 2: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

The Companion

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dediCate a Rose On The 2014 donate life Rose paRade float

The Donate Life Dedication Garden offers donor families and transplant recipients the opportunity to dedicate roses placed on the Donate Life float in the Rose Parade. each dedicated rose is placed in a vial that carries a personal message of love, hope and remembrance. These dedicated roses create a living memorial on the Donate Life float each year.

If you would like to dedicate a rose, go to www.donatelifefloat.org and click “Dedicate Roses” or you can contact us in Family Care at 800-423-7220 for a dedication form. each dedication is $30.

Dedicated roses can be personally placed onto the float in Pasadena on December 29th. There are a limited number of placement times, so please complete your dedication early if you’d like to participate in rose placement.

The 2014 Donate Life Run/Walk will be held on Saturday, April 26th, in Fullerton, California. If your team participated this year, we will mail your team captain a registration packet in January. If you want to form a new team or if your address has changed, let us know so we can send a donor family registration packet to you.

To create a Save The Date flyer to give to friends and family this holiday season, go to the Run Walk website at www.donateliferunwalk.org and under the “Participate” tab, go to the Save The Date link to make your own personalized flyer.

For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or [email protected].

For pictures from the 2013 Donate Life Run/Walk, please see page 4.

If you are interested in receiving grief support or referrals to resources in your community, please contact us at 800-423-7220 or [email protected] and a member of our Family Care team will be in touch.

save tHe date! FORM YOuR TeAM!

Page 3: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

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Fall is once again upon us and as the days grow shorter and cooler, and leaves turn (even here in Southern California) we are often reminded of the passing of days, months, and even stages of life. And, as we go about our busy lives, it usually takes a seasonal change to take a moment to look

around at our world, our families, and our lives to appreciate where we have been, where we are going, and what we have.

Of course, for many of you reading this letter, you have recently had another reason to be pulled from your routine, its busyness, and its comforts as you have lost someone very much a part of your life. Unlike the change of seasons, your sudden loss was not expected, is not enriched by colored leaves, cool breezes instead of hot days, and moments of giving thanks. Instead it was likely wrenching, certainly not filled with any possibilities that you might have imagined, and instead of allowing you to look ahead, most likely prompted to look longingly to the days and months before this loss.

Many donor families express the desire to hear from their loved one’s transplant recipients and to know that their decision to say ‘yes’ to donation has made a positive difference. It is hard to know what each recipient goes through after their transplant. We have heard some recipients say that they experience feelings of guilt and struggle with how to thank a stranger for saving their life. even if a recipient does not write, we do believe that they are very grateful for their gift of life.

here is a letter from a grateful tissue transplant recipient family that we’d like to share:

Dearest donor family,

In the midst of your grief and sorrow, you thought of others. Because of you, our daughter, now ten, has two legs to walk on. Two years ago, a bone tumor left her with fear and pain. Because of your precious gift she is now eager to start each day.

Your loved one will ride with our daughter on her bike, play in the cool waters of the lake and dance at her first prom. Your gift has restored her laughter and returned her childhood.

Some heroes are awarded medals of valor. Others are given parades in their honor. You are our heroes. You have healed our hearts.

Sincerely Yours,

Grateful Parents

MeSSAGe FROM OuR CeO, tom mone

LeTTeR OF GRatitude

And that’s why I am writing to give thanks to YOU, because when death chose to visit your world, you chose to look beyond your own loss. You chose to look to others whose lives were slipping away and you made a choice to help them through the gift of life through organ, eye, and tissue donation. This gift, that is oh so rare, that so immediately and amazingly can transform the severely ill into healthy, active members of our community; this gift is also a symbol of the best in you and in us as a community. And in a world that far too often seems consumed by a “what’s in it for me” attitude, you have shown that in some of our most trying times, the best of us can look beyond our own needs and care for others in need. So I thank you for giving the gift of life and I hope that you have found some comfort in knowing that your loved one’s gift leaves a remarkable legacy that you can be proud of and celebrate as you look forward to coming changes of the seasons when life springs anew from seeds planted in the fall.

Sincerely,

One Life. One Choice. One Gift.

FALL

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Page 4: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

hOPe YOu’LL join us AT The 2014 donate life Run/Walk

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The Companion

Page 5: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

eL CompañeRoUna Vida. Una Decisión. Un Regalo. O

TOñ

O 2

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LA tempoRada festivaLos días festivos pueden ser muy difíciles para las personas que están pasando dolor por la pérdida de un ser querido. Mientras que otros parecen estar llenos de excitación y alegría, usted puede que sienta tristeza y soledad. Lo que sucede a su alrededor le trae recuerdos del ser a quien usted quiso y que ha fallecido.

Cada persona tiene una manera diferente de sentir el duelo y la tristeza, y cada persona sobrelleva sus sentimientos de forma diferente. Queremos compartir algunas ideas que puede que le ayuden durante esta temporada festiva.

• hable de su tristeza—ignorar su dolor no va contribuir a que su dolor se vaya, y puede que al hablar de su dolor usted se sienta mejor.

• haga lo que usted siente que es mejor para usted—otros puede que traten de convencerle que ellos saben lo que es mejor para usted. enfóquese en lo que a usted le gustaría hacer y converse sus planes con una persona de confianza.

• Planee con anticipación—piense qué tradiciones o costumbres a usted le gustaría continuar y cuáles nuevas le gustaría empezar.

• Seleccione una vela o una flor para poner a la mesa en honor de su ser querido.

• Compre o prepare una corona o alguna otra forma de decoración como un recordatorio. usted puede decorar la corona con fotografías o recuerdos de su ser querido y llevar la corona a la tumba.

• Compre un libro sobre la temperada festiva o el libro favorito de su ser querido y dónelo a la biblioteca o a la escuela más cercana. Pídale a la bibliotecaria que inscriba, “A la memoria de” con el nombre de su ser querido.

• honre sus recuerdos y memorias—cuando la familia se reúna, ponga una caja o canasta cerca de la puerta. Cuando la gente llegue, pídale que escriban en un papel un recuerdo o memoria positiva de su

ser querido y que la depositen en la canasta. Cuando tenga la oportunidad, lea esas memorias. Puede que le conforten y animen a otros a compartir sus recuerdos.

• Sea amable con usted mismo—si necesita tiempo tranquilo solamente para usted, tómelo.

nosotros aquí en las oficinas de OneLegacy estaremos pensando en usted y deseándole una temporada de paz. Si necesita apoyo, por favor, contacte nuestra oficina, Departamento de Servicios a la Familia al 1-800-423-7220.

OneLegacy Aftercare staff (L to R): Eriq Christensen, Deborah Tanner, Luz Diaz. (Front) Anna Binder, Michelle Post. Not pictured: Flora Leos, Kari Kozuki

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Page 6: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

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dedique una Rosa PARA LA CaRRoza done vida del desfile De LAS Rosas del 2014

el Jardín de Dedicatorias de Done Vida permite que las familias donantes y los beneficiados por los trasplantes dediquen rosas que se colocarán en la carroza de Done Vida del Desfile de las Rosas. Cada una de las rosas dedicadas se coloca en un recipiente individual y lleva un mensaje personalizado de amor, esperanza y recuerdos. estas rosas con dedicatorias dan vida a un monumento conmemorativo en la carroza Done Vida.

Si desea dedicar una rosa, diríjase a la página de internet www.donatelifefloat.org y seleccione el título en inglés, Dedicate Roses, o llame al departamento de Servicios a la Familia al 1-800-423-7220 para solicitar un formulario para la dedicatoria. el costo para cada dedicatoria es de $30.

Las rosas con dedicatorias se colocaran personalmente sobre la carroza el día 29 de diciembre en la ciudad de Pasadena. Comuníquese con nosotros si tiene alguna pregunta.

¡ReseRve la feCHa! ¡FORMe Su eQuIPO!

eL CompañeRo

La Carrera-Caminata Done Vida del 2014 se llevará a cabo el sábado 26 de abril en la ciudad de Fullerton, California. Si su equipo participó este año, durante el mes de enero le enviaremos al capitán del equipo un paquete de inscripción. Si desea formar un equipo nuevo o si su dirección ha cambiado, avísenos y le enviaremos un paquete de inscripción para familias donantes.

Si desea preparar un folleto para reservar la fecha para sus amigos y familiares durante la temporada festiva, diríjase a la página de internet de la Carrera-Caminata, www.donateliferunwalk.org y en la sección Participate, según su título en inglés, y luego al enlace Save the Date y prepare su folleto personalizado.

Si tiene preguntas o quiere solicitar paquetes de inscripción, comuníquese con Anna en Servicios a la Familia al 1-800-423-7220, o escribiéndole al correo electrónico [email protected].

Si usted tiene una idea para un artículo, o está interesado en un tema en particular que desee leer en El Compañero, por favor, déjenos saber. Sus ideas harán que El Compañero sea de más ayuda a las familias donantes, y ellas lo apreciarán. Llámenos a Servicios para la Familia al 800-423-7220

Page 7: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

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Muchas familias donantes expresan el deseo de recibir noticias del beneficiado por el trasplante de su ser querido y saber que su decisión de decir “sí” a la donación ha dejado una huella positiva. es difícil saber por lo que pasa cada uno de los beneficiados luego de su trasplante. hemos oído que algunos beneficiados dicen que sienten culpa y que les es difícil saber cómo agradecer a un desconocido por haberles salvado la vida. Aun si un beneficiado no escribe, creemos que está muy agradecido por su regalo de vida.

Queremos compartir con usted la siguiente carta de una familia beneficiada agradecida por el trasplante de tejido:

Estimada familia donante:

En medio de su pena y tristeza pensaron en otros. Debido a ustedes, nuestra hija, quien ahora tiene diez años, tiene dos piernas para caminar. Hace dos años un tumor óseo la dejó con miedo y dolor. Debido a su valiosísimo regalo, ella ahora comienza cada día con entusiasmo.

Su ser querido andará en bicicleta con nuestra hija, jugará con ella en las aguas frescas del lago y bailará con ella en su primer baile de promoción. Su regalo le ha restaurado la risa y devuelto la niñez.

Algunos héroes son galardonados con medallas de valor. Para otros se realizan desfiles en su honor. Ustedes son nuestros héroes. Ustedes han sanado nuestros corazones.

Atentamente,

Padres Agradecidos

CARTA De aGRadeCimiento

Una Vida. Una Decisión. Un Regalo.

OTO

ñO

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Una vez más el otoño ha llegado, los días se hacen más cortos y más frescos y las hojas caen (incluso aquí en el sur de California) recordándonos a menudo el paso de los días, los meses y hasta las etapas de la vida. Y, como llevamos nuestras vidas tan ocupadas, generalmente se necesita un cambio de temporada para tomar un momento y mirar el mundo a nuestro

alrededor, nuestras familias y nuestras vidas para apreciar donde hemos estado, hacia dónde vamos y lo que tenemos.

Por supuesto, para muchos de ustedes que están leyendo esta carta, recientemente tuvieron otra razón que los hizo salir de su rutina, de sus ocupaciones y sus comodidades, como el haber perdido una parte muy importante en su vida. A diferencia del cambio de las estaciones, su imprevista pérdida, no se enriqueció con coloridas hojas, ni de brisa fresca en vez de días calurosos, y momentos de dar gracias. En cambio, fue probablemente desgarradora, ciertamente no llena de posibilidades que podría haber imaginado y, en lugar que le permita mirar hacia el futuro, lo más probable es que mire con nostalgia hacia los días y meses antes de esta pérdida.

Y por eso es que estoy escribiendo para darle las gracias a

MenSAJe DeL DIReCTOR eJeCuTIVO De OneLeGACY, tom moneUSTED, porque cuando la muerte decidió visitar su mundo, usted decidió mirar más allá de su propia pérdida. Decidió mirar a otros cuyas vidas se les escapaba y usted tomó la decisión de ayudarles mediante el regalo de vida a través de la donación de órganos, ojos y tejidos.

Este regalo, que es ¡ah! tan raro, que inmediata y sorprendentemente puede transformar al gravemente enfermo a un saludable y activo miembro de nuestra comunidad; este regalo es también un símbolo de lo mejor de usted y de nosotros como una comunidad. Y en un mundo donde a menudo nos centramos en una actitud de “¿Y yo qué gano?”, usted ha demostrado que en algunos de nuestros tiempos difíciles, lo mejor de nosotros puede mirar más allá de nuestras propias necesidades y preocuparse por otros en necesidad. Así que gracias por el regalo de la vida y espero haya encontrado consuelo en saber que el regalo de su ser querido deja un legado extraordinario del cual usted puede sentirse orgulloso y conmemorar mientras espera con ansias los venideros cambios de temporada cuando florece de nuevo la primavera de las semillas plantadas en el otoño.

Atentamente,

Page 8: The Companion FALL - OneLegacy · personalized flyer. For questions and registration packets, contact Kari in Family Care at 800-786-4077, x. 5647 or kkozuki@ onelegacy.org. For pictures

221 S. Figueroa Street, Suite 500 Los Angeles, CA 90012

www.onelegacy.org

If you do not wish to receive “The Companion” andwouldlikeyournameremovedfromournewslettermailing,pleasecall213-229-5647. Thank you.

Siprefierenoserincluidoenladistribucióndeesteboletín,favordecomunicarseconnosotrosal800-423-7220. Gracias.

Versión en español empieza en la página 5

We consider it a privilege to be a companion to you in your journey through grief and healing. In accompanying you, we learn so much from each of you—about your loved one, what this experience is like for you, and the impact he or she has made in your life. We hope to support you through your journey and also hope to reassure you that you are not alone.

Our goal with The Companion is to help connect donor families through stories and shared experiences, to provide articles that address grief and the healing journey, and to provide donor families with information about events related to organ and tissue donation and transplantation. We hope that The Companion is helpful to you and your family.

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OneLegacy...bridging lives.

The Companion