[The bus stop, morning. The boys wait for the bus, but Cartman seems particularly steamed today. His right hand is in his jaacket pocket, and angry music plays] Cartman: [thinking] Another morning. Waiting for the run-down school bus to take me to the run- down schoo. But today is the day I finally have the guts to do what I should've done a long time ago. [looks down at Stan's feet, than at Kyle's] Nobody notices what I have in my front pocket. A little surprise for them all. [Stan notices and looks. Cartman notices Stan and shoves his hand further into his pocket. Stan looks at Cartman and steps away from him.] I'mm prepared for this, but still I wonder.. Will I have the guts to go through with it? Damn right I will! [Kyle notices Cartman's anger] Kyle: Are you okay, Cartman? Cartman: [brightens up] Yeah I'm good. How are you, Kyle? [settles into angry funk again and thinks] They're all gonna pay! Every day they pushed me and pushed, and if it happens again today, it's going to be the last time. [Kyle and Kenny look at each other, then they look at Cartman] We'll find out today at recess, won't we? Oh yes, we'll find out today at recess. [South Park Elementary, a couple hours later. Cartman heads for the boys room and enters. He has some magazines with him] Butters: [at the urinal, pants down] Hey Eric! I'm not suspended no more. Cartman: Good for you. [tries to get into the first stall, but finds it locked] Butters: [looks over] I think someone's in there. Cartman: No! Goddamnit no! [pounds on the door] Who's takin' a shit?! Craig: Occupied. Cartman: I called dibs on Stall 1 for all recess, Craig! Craig: You can't call dibs on a toilet. Cartman: Son of a bitch! [moves on to Stall 2, tries to open it, and finds it locked too.] Oh no! NO NO NO! I cannot go another lunch break without my toilet time! Kyle: Then don't eat 14 Eggo waffles for lunch, fatass! Cartman: Alright, that does it! [turns around and walks toward the door] I'm sick of this shit and I'm not gonna be [throws his magazines to the floor] taking it any longer! [reaches into his jacket pocket] You all pushed me to this! [pulls out a pink bow and plops it on to his hat, then continues out the door. Butters just looks on. Cartman leaves the boys room and enters the girls room. Wendy and Bebe are at the mirror. Wendy is quick to notice, and then faces him. Cartman heads for a stall and Wendy block him] Wendy: What the hell do you think you're doing?? Cartman: I'm going to the potty. Wendy: This is the girls bathroom! Cartman: Alright, I need to tell you something, Wendy. I'm gransginger. Wendy: WHAT??? Cartman: Did you notice the bow? [points to it] I'm not comfortable with the sex I was assigned at birth, so I'm exercising my right to identify with the gender of my choice. Now get out of my way. I have to take a shit. [barges into Stall 1, locks it, drops his pants, and sits down. Wendy shrugs with her palms up. The first poop falls and Wendy and Bebe recoil] Aaahhh! Wendy: GET OUT OF HERE! Cartman: Don't give me any more issues than I already have, Wendy! [drops another deuce] Oh wow, this is nice in here. The girls bathroom is a lot cleaner than the boys. [groans to get another deuce out, followed byy a fart. Red comes out of Stall 2] Red: What the hell is that?! Wendy: Cartman is using our bathroom! Cartman: Dude, this is awesome. I should've used the girls bathroom a long time ago. Red: Hey! I'm gonna tell on you!
[The bus stop, morning. The boys wait for the bus, but Cartman
seems particularly steamed today. His right hand is in his jaacket
pocket, and angry music plays]Cartman:[thinking] Another morning.
Waiting for the run-down school bus to take me to the run-down
schoo. But today is the day I finally have the guts to do what I
should've done a long time ago. [looks down at Stan's feet, than at
Kyle's] Nobody notices what I have in my front pocket. A little
surprise for them all. [Stan notices and looks. Cartman notices
Stan and shoves his hand further into his pocket. Stan looks at
Cartman and steps away from him.] I'mm prepared for this, but still
I wonder.. Will I have the guts to go through with it? Damn right I
will! [Kyle notices Cartman's anger]Kyle: Are you okay,
Cartman?Cartman:[brightens up] Yeah I'm good. How are you, Kyle?
[settles into angry funk again and thinks] They're all gonna pay!
Every day they pushed me and pushed, and if it happens again today,
it's going to be the last time. [Kyle and Kenny look at each other,
then they look at Cartman] We'll find out today at recess, won't
we? Oh yes, we'll find out today at recess.
[South Park Elementary, a couple hours later. Cartman heads for
the boys room and enters. He has some magazines with
him]Butters:[at the urinal, pants down] Hey Eric! I'm not suspended
no more.Cartman: Good for you. [tries to get into the first stall,
but finds it locked]Butters: [looks over] I think someone's in
there.Cartman: No! Goddamnit no! [pounds on the door] Who's takin'
a shit?!Craig: Occupied.Cartman: I called dibs on Stall 1 for all
recess, Craig!Craig: You can't call dibs on a toilet.Cartman:
Son of a bitch! [moves on to Stall 2, tries to open it, and
finds it locked too.] Oh no! NO NO NO! I cannot go another lunch
break without my toilet time!Kyle: Then don't eat 14 Eggo waffles
for lunch, fatass!Cartman:Alright, that does it! [turns around and
walks toward the door] I'm sick of this shit and I'm not gonna be
[throws his magazines to the floor] taking it any longer! [reaches
into his jacket pocket] You all pushed me to this! [pulls out a
pink bow and plops it on to his hat, then continues out the door.
Butters just looks on. Cartman leaves the boys room and enters the
girls room. Wendy and Bebe are at the mirror. Wendy is quick to
notice, and then faces him. Cartman heads for a stall and Wendy
block him]Wendy: What the hell do you think you're doing??Cartman:
I'm going to the potty.Wendy: This is the girls bathroom!Cartman:
Alright, I need to tell you something, Wendy. I'm
gransginger.Wendy: WHAT???Cartman:Did you notice the bow? [points
to it] I'm not comfortable with the sex I was assigned at birth, so
I'm exercising my right to identify with the gender of my choice.
Now get out of my way. I have to take a shit. [barges into Stall 1,
locks it, drops his pants, and sits down. Wendy shrugs with her
palms up. The first poop falls and Wendy and Bebe recoil]
Aaahhh!Wendy: GET OUT OF HERE!Cartman:Don't give me any more issues
than I already have, Wendy! [drops another deuce] Oh wow, this is
nice in here. The girls bathroom is a lot cleaner than the boys.
[groans to get another deuce out, followed byy a fart. Red comes
out of Stall 2]Red: What the hell is that?!Wendy: Cartman is using
our bathroom!Cartman: Dude, this is awesome. I should've used the
girls bathroom a long time ago.Red: Hey! I'm gonna tell on you!
