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Page 1: The Cauldron - issue 13

TheCauldronMonday, april 19, 2010 *** ESTaBliSHEd 1929 *** iSSuE 13 | FREE

The No-Fear Guide To Beer

Page 2: The Cauldron - issue 13

8

As Cleveland State University’s student run, managed, and operated alternative weekly paper, The Cauldron is dedicated to delivering information to the student and professional body of CSU; doing so without bias, without constraints, and without fear.

Presenting news, entertainment, opinion and other media that originates organically from within the student body, our distinctive media will organically flow and adapt to suit that body’s needs.

The Cauldron prints according to sound journalistic principles of accuracy, account-ability, integrity, transparency and with a recognition of press freedom and student expression.

The Cauldron shall remain a forum; maintaining a strong connection to the diverse campus community, regarding but not limited to Cleveland State University, the city of Cleveland, the United States, and the Global Community.

Mission stateMent

advertising Policy:For advertising inquiries e-mail us at [email protected] or contact Jayson gerbec a t (216) 687-2270

contact UsCleveland State University4th Floor Cole CenterCleveland, Ohio 44115Phone (216) 687-2270Fax (216) 687-5155www.csucauldron.com

The MelTing PoT03 Opening Statements03 Did Conan O’Brien make the right decision, taking his show, late-nite antics to TBS?04 IllumiNation:Who takes the seat?

news05 CSU Celebrates National Library Week05 Just Your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist05 SGA Election Results 05 Weekly Events Calendar06 Photo Spotlight: Dash for Dollars07 Advertising Guru Comes To Cleveland

ArTs & enTerTAinMenT10 Noise InspectorsWe Rock So You Don’t Have To11 Concert Picks 12 iGuess?Behind the Revolutionary Magic of Apple’s iPad

sPorTs13 Viking Softball Hits Record Highs14 Is this Finally the Year?14 Sports Flashback

CoNteNtS VOLUME 110 • ISSUE 13

PaGe two : MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010

The CauldronSamantha Shunk

Editor-In-Chief

Managing Editor

Reid May

Advertising Manager

Jayson Gerbec

Copy EditorKristen Mott

Copy EditorJustin Brenis

News EditorAlexes Spencer

Sports EditorRob Ivory

Arts & Entertainment EditorJonathan D. Herzberger

Layout EditorSteve Thomas

Business ManagerAnne Werner

Student Media & Web SpecialistDaniel Lenhart

Faculty AdvisorDr. Rodger Govea

The Cauldron is a free newspaper; however, to preserve readership each person may only take one copy of each issue.

For larger quantities, contact the editor-in-Chief at [email protected].

Hiring for route delivery and packaging. 30 minutes from campus. Flexible scheduling around classes.

Earn $8.00 to $14.00 per hour. Work Through school on into Summer.

Call 800-376-5388 or visit:www.homecityice.com to apply online.

Home City Ice Co.Wa l t o n H i l l s , O h .

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Please call 216-687-2270 or email cauldronadvertisements @hotmail.com

8The No-Fear Guide to BeerBy Justin Brenis, The Cauldron Copy Editor

Photography by Justin Brenis

Page 3: The Cauldron - issue 13

The MelTing PoT MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010 3

By Justin Brenis, The Cauldron Copy Editor

this week’s oPeNING StatemeNtS

Courtesy: image.guardian.co.uk

“I have often wished I had time to cultivate

modesty... But I am too busy thinking about

myself.”Edith Stillwell, as

quoted in the Observer (April, 30th 1950)

Conan O’Brien announced this week that he will make his return to late night television on cable. The former Tonight Show host will take his act to TBS, with a show starting at 11 p.m. eastern time. George Lopez will move his show back to accommodate the new act and follow O’Brien at midnight.

For NBC, this is a good news. O’Brien’s decision to leave public television for his next act will seriously reduce the competition between his late night program and the Tonight Show, hosted again by Jay Leno. Had O’Brien signed on with FOX (as many speculated) or another public network, he would have been in direct competition with his predecessor/successor and former network. Not the most ideal situation for NBC.

Now, O’Brien gets a new show on a network that covets his contributions, while other late night programmers are able to continue focusing on a specific field of competition. This is certainly not to suggest that the act will fail to live up to

expectations, or generate a solid, consistent audience.However, given the differences between basic channels

and cable, the people with access to O’Brien’s new programming becomes a vastly different demographic. Now, in order to witness numerous late-night hilarities (and the most ridiculous hair you will probably ever see) you must be a cable subscriber, which means 30 to 40 dollars per month. That is a lot more than many can afford.

As a result, viewership will be very different and so will the numbers. O’Brien’s show could do very well on TBS—in fact, I anticipate positive returns when measured against a comparable market. But forget about realistic comparisons with the Tonight Show on NBC or Late Night on CBS. Those shows will generate higher numbers simply because of their position on an easy-access channel.

I think this is a little bit risky, for everyone involved. TBS has certain expectations, of course—but how much do those

expectations reflect the actual market for a cable version of late-night television? Its risky for O’Brien, too. However, I like the leap more for him individually because he has less to lose.

For O’Brien, this is not about making or breaking his career. He has already achieved widespread success as a television show host and really (not that I know the man personally) does not care about the numbers. He wants to have a good time and try something different, which is perfect, because TBS wants the someone who can be fun and different (see Lopez, George).

Plus, O’Brien is sitting on 40 million reasons why he should not worry about the success of his next endeavor. NBC’s gigantic settlement, plus their willingness to let him get away has given him the opportunity of a lifetime—doing what he loves just for the sake of it, without worrying about the ratings, the money and most of all, Jay Leno breathing down his neck.

Too bad there aren’t anonymous groups for the modesty-deficient:

Hello, my name is Justin Brenis, and I am incapable of being wrong.

I guess in the end that would be far too therapeutic. Americans today really have a hard time with being

open-minded, myself included. I recently attended the Cleveland Indians’ home opener and boy did I have a whopper of an Opening Statements to write after that.

First, the parking was horrendous (probably should have anticipated that), then the seats were a lot higher up than I had thought (again, lack of anticipation on my part), and then, as icing on the cake, while purposely buying the AM/PM All-You-Can-Eat Seats off of StubHub, I was denied the free food because my ticket didn’t say “AM/PM” on it.

For some reason I was under the impression that, without doing the proper research, I had been singled-out and wronged, deprived of what I felt I deserved. Boy, let me tell you I was beyond pissed. I spent over an hour arguing with Guest Services because of their poor advertising of the seats.

In the stadium they have the All-You-Can-Eat offer labeled as “Sections 533-546,” and that alone, to me, made me feel that since my seats were section 533, row T, that I inherently deserved the free food being offered. The point Guest Services kept pushing was “Did you specifically look for All-You-Can-Eat seats? Not every part of every section is eligible for the offer.”

Of course I hadn’t. The game was sold out, I had to buy my tickets off of StubHub which is a website that essentially acts as a legal escrow service to cut down on scalping outside of stadiums. All I could think of at the time however was how I was being deprived the right that I paid $20 a ticket for (mind you All-You-Can-Eat seats are typically $32 a piece).

So after all this, I called our Editor-In-Chief and demanded that I get to write this Opening Statement so that I could reveal to you all the injustices being practiced at Progressive Field (Unrelated Note: I’m not the only one who still calls it “The Jake” am I?).

However, when I began writing it and doing my research, I found out that the Indians’ website specifically backs up the information that was told to me at Guest Services…and suddenly my argument lost all its wind. The injustices I wanted to report on became dead-weight and I, unfortunately, got a heaping spoonful of humility shoved down my throat.

I hate being wrong.So after avoiding writing the Opening Statements

I so thoroughly demanded, mostly because I couldn’t decide on a topic, I came up with this, swallowed my humility-coated pride, and began typing.

All in all this got me thinking a lot about America lately with our current economic issues, and our political issues like the Tea Parties and the healthcare debates. At what point did we as Americans, both Republican and Democrat, and every other affiliation, become so self-entitled? Have we always been this way? Is there a way to fix it?

It pervades us every day without our even thinking about it. How many times have you been driving down the highway and have someone try to pull into your lane just before an exit ramp and you speed up to keep them from getting in? They should have planned accordingly, right? I have somewhere to be and I am not going to risk being late by slowing down to let them in!

What about on TV? This may be a little bit of a stretch, but there were days when we had to be home to watch our favorite shows, and if we missed it, we had to either tape it or pray for a repeat. Nowadays, if we don’t have DVR we have Hulu, and every network

out there has their own “Watch Full Episodes Online” feature. But hell hath no wrath like when I wanted to watch full episodes of Bing Bang Theory only to find out they don’t have that show available. So what did I do? I went searching the internet to find a way to watch episodes that had been ported to YouTube or the like…because apparently, as opposed to being patient, I felt wronged…it’s my right as an American to get to watch my shows when I want to, how I want to!

Coming full circle, even at sports games we can’t avoid this. Before and after every game, in Cleveland at least, there are people of various walks of life who, because of choices they made or couldn’t avoid in life, are incapable of even buying themselves something to eat. They sit after each game and peddle flowers, play music and just ask for a few dollars, and most people just walk on by, myself included sometime. If they want money, they should just get a job, right?

Perhaps we’ve become too critical of what we, as human beings, are entitled to anymore. But, I suppose even the flip side can be dangerous.

Don’t believe me? Just think back.Yo, Reader! I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let

you finish thinking, but I just made the best point of them all.

That ring a bell? Even when we think we are acting on the benefit of others, and what we think they deserve, we still find ourselves in that dangerous anti-humility trap. Which I clearly find unacceptable…how dare the fates not provide us with our deserved right to…ah, nevermind.

“In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don’t ever want me to say I’m great?”

Kanye West, Rolling Stone, 2006

Did Conan O’Brien make the right decision, taking his show, late-nite antics to TBS?By Reid May, The Cauldron Managing Editor

Page 4: The Cauldron - issue 13

PaGe Four: Monday, April 19, 2010

On April 9, Justice John Paul Stevens announced his intent to retire from the Supreme Court at the conclusion of the present term. After 35 years on the bench, Stevens will leave as the second longest serving justice in United States’ history.

Stevens’ retirement gives President Barack Obama the opportunity to further shape the court following his appointment of Justice Sonia Sotomayor last year. Saddled with the task of replacing the court’s most liberal justice, Obama will face a challenging Senate confirmation, no matter the nominee.

Several candidates have emerged as “short-list” choices for the soon-to-be-vacant seat. Solicitor General Elena Kagan and federal appeals judges Diane Wood and Merrick Garland are widely regarded to be the top three contenders.

Kagan, a former professor and dean at Harvard Law School, is currently the government representative for cases argued in front of the Supreme Court. She was appointed to her current position in March 2009 and is considered to be rather moderate, ruling on the basis of law instead of politics.

Part of the Kagan appeal is her strong intellectual background and desire to rule on the basis of law, with

less prior conviction. Many suggest that she would be a strong counterpart to the presently motivated conservative justices because her rulings would not be motivated by personal values.

Wood, from the Illinois based 7th District Court of Appeals, is likely the riskiest nomination for President Obama. She has a history of rampant support for abortion rights and will likely be portrayed as anti-Christian by conservatives, if nominated.

For liberals, Wood may represent the best opportunity for a left-leaning stalwart to stand up to the likes of Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Antonin Scalia and Samuel Alito, who make up a strong conservative block. Her record shows consistent support of civil issues.

Garland, from the U.S. Court of Appeals from the D.C. Circuit is considered the most moderate of the three and could be the easiest to pass through the Senate, though his less extensive record will likely receive heavy criticism regardless.

In fact, most consider heavy opposition likely regardless of the candidate. Given the impending election season and widespread desire to motivate the electorate, Senate Republicans will not let any

candidate be seated without a test.However, given the makeup of the court, this

nomination could have serious implications.Stevens was easily the most concrete member of

the four justice liberal-leaning wing of the court, often instrumental in convincing swing-man, Justice Anthony Kennedy, to their side on important issues. Without a similarly strong minded leader, the likelihood of close margins and unbiased opinions in future cases is jeopardized.

If President Obama nominates a less liberal justice, whether he chooses a moderate or a less-partisan candidate like Kagan, in an attempt to appease Republicans, it will seriously limit the ability of the court to make impartial case-by-case based rulings in the future.

For cases involving highly contested political issues, the vote may be decided before the case is actually heard. For all involved, a court with less rigid divide is more conducive to effective rulings. For the sake of the judicial system in the next decade, President Obama things the same must consider these implications when he makes his decision in the coming weeks.

ILLuMINATION: WHO TAKES THE SEAT?

By Reid May, The Cauldron Managing Editor

Courtesy: flickr.com

Page 5: The Cauldron - issue 13

news 5MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010

Last week marked the annual National Library Week. Cleveland State’s Michael Schwartz Library celebrated with special events promoting the library all week long. An ice cream social, local author book talk and a book sale got the student body to drop by the library and engage.

Monday’s ice cream social was a hit. With 300 servings to go around and some announcements, the library received over 200 participators. Most students just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Even a Case Western Reserve student was on location to pick up some items on hold.

The Case student reportedly mentioned that his university’s library more resembles a morgue than a place someone would want to be. He said he wanted a fun library atmosphere like Cleveland State’s.

A library does not operate without its backbone, the librarians, of course. National Library Worker’s Day occurred on Tuesday. Library workers were treated to bagels and doughnuts in the morning, a big cake in the afternoon and different departments of the library did something special for their staff. The Service Center staff was treated to cheesecake, cookies and brownies by their supervisor.

Mary Doria Russell, author of “The Sparrow,”

“Children of God,” “A Thread of Grace,” and new novel, “Dreamers of the Day” visited Cleveland State on Wednesday. Russell discussed her book, “Dreamers of the Day,” and gave some insight on her next book, “Eight to Five, Against.” She answered questions and did a book signing. Her dog even accompanied her and provided some entertainment with his dog tricks.

The last event during National Library Week was a book sale that took place on Thursday. There was a large turnout and people kept calling to get information about the sale, long after everything was put away. An ongoing book sale is located on shelves near the Service Center in the library and can be accessed online as well. Students may browse this selection anytime.

Although National Library Week has drawn to an end, the library and its website are always here. The staff claims that they are more than willing and able to help you with your multimedia needs. Workshops are available and a library survey is up and running for you to enter for a chance to win a netbook.

For more information on the book sale or the survey, visit at library.csuohio.edu and click the link to the blog.

There have been many renowned speakers present at CSU, but none telling quite the same story as the school’s newest speaker, Dan Barker. Dan Barker is an ex-preacher turned atheist who advocates for reason, atheism and rationalism.

Barker was asked to speak at CSU by the resident atheist, agnostic, and freethinker organization, the CSU Non-Prophets (in conjunction with the Secular Student Alliance). Barker offers a unique perspective on religion, considering he comes from a very religious background as a former preacher of numerous churches. He is also an accomplished musician and wrote two popular religious musicals in the 1970s.

Despite all of Barker’s accomplishments, his most notable are the books he’s written chronicling his growth from religion to secularism. Such works include “Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist” and his most recent book, “Godless, How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America’s Leading Atheists.” For his literary works, Barker is considered one of the leading experts on secular thinking in a religious society.

Barker will be speaking at CSU on Saturday April 24 at 6 p.m. at the Nance College of Business room 118. Admission is free to all students and community members who would be interested in hearing him speak. Barker’s topic for discussion will be “Can we have morals without God?” This question seems very inquisitive considering the different ends of someone’s religious and moral spectrum. However, the topic was decided upon by the Non-Prophets to help a higher reasoning.

“We really wanted to have Dan Barker talk about morality without God to show people non-believers aren’t immoral, they have guidelines for their lives just like religious people” stated Samantha Clemens, president of Non-Prophets.

People from all belief systems are welcome to come and hear Barker’s presentation. There will also be time after his discussion to ask questions about the information presented. This is an opportunity for students to learn something new about abstract concepts of morality and goodness without viewing these things in a religious framework.

For more information about the event, please contact [email protected].

After 72 hours of voting online last week, the 2010 SGA election results were revealed at the SGA Senate meeting last Friday evening.

With the first ever election online, 1,863 votes were cast, which was over 600 more votes than last year’s record-breaking turnout. Although there was some controversy regarding the election, the Board of Elections Advisory Council found all the practices to be fair and unanimously ratified the election results last Thursday.

The hot issue on the ballot of football came back with 68.7% of students in favor. However, 55.6% of students voted “no” to paying a fee. The results show that students would be unwilling to pay a $6 to $8 fee per credit hour. Yet, 51.8% of students were unopposed to paying an extra $4 to $6 per credit hour.

Although students want a football team, the unwillingness to pay for it will be keeping it off the campus for the time being. It is likely to be voted on again at a later date.

The City Wheels car sharing program was voted down by 55.7%. On another note, 97.9% of students claimed they liked the online voting and 98% voted to have SGA and the University use online voting in the future.

For the SGA senator, the Judicial Board candidates that went unopposed, they all won obviously. As the only college seats that had competition, the Business senators Chelsea Duty and Salim Aftim were selected.

The three seats for At-Large senators went to Tasiana Stigall with 40% of the vote, Michael Rogalski with 25.9% and Omar Kurdi with 18.5%. Stigall shared, “We’re going to work together to ensure that students, administration, and staff all work together to create an environment where we learn, have fun, and communicate well.”

Rogalski revealed that he “has been waiting since November to be able to vote” in the SGA senate as he has been an honorary until now.

And, Kurdi said, “I am so happy that this is an opportunity to continue working on my projects” that have been started this semester.

But the result that had most of the people in the meeting on the edge of their seats was the Executive Board, which Eli Auerbach, the BOE (Board of Elections) Chair, withheld until the very end. It was The Party of One Voice that won with 61.2% of the votes, and all four of the members of the party were overjoyed with the news.

Andrew Gotlieb, elected as secretary, stated, “I’m going to try my hardest to go along with my campaign goal to connect the student organizations on campus through communication in the best way possible and within the community of Cleveland.”

LeeAnn Westfall, elected as treasurer, revealed her plan, “I think I’m going to focus mostly on student orgs; I think that’s generally what were excited about. We have almost 200 student orgs, and I really want to teach them how to collaborate so that money goes far.”

Shauna Jackson, elected as vice president, revealed, “The first thing we’re going to move forward on is free access to the Rec Center for all students… You should expect that by fall.” She continued to say that “we’ll take some time to regroup and figure out where the needs are now.”

Mohammad Faraj, re-elected as president, said, “It’s always about what the students want.” He continued to say, “Let’s get started!”

Jackson graciously added, “Thanks to everybody who voted for us and supported us. We’re excited to do this for another year!”

CSu Celebrates National Library WeekBy Angela Vojtech, The Cauldron Contributing Writer

JuST YOur FrIENDLY NEIghBOrhOOD AThEISTBy Lisa Sanchez, The Cauldron Staff Writer

SgA Election resultsBy Samantha Shunk, The Cauldron Editor-in-Chief

we e k l y ev e n T s CA l e n d A r

4/21 - Greek Philanthropy Blood Drive from 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. in MC Lobby.

4/22 - Poetry reading and signing with Elyse Fenton and D.A. Powell. MC 134 @ 7:30 p.m. - “Commuters Go Green” with environmentally friendly giveaways. 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. in MC Atrium. - Rec kicks off Wellfest with a walk around the track with President Berkman at noon.

4/23 - HIV Workshop in MC Lobby from 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Salute to Black Graduates dinner at 7 p.m at Wolstein Center. Tickets are $15. Call 216-687-2048 or 216-687-9394 for information/tickets.

4/24 - Do-Gooder Day starting at 8 a.m. - “Can we have morals without God?” with Dan Barker. 6 p.m. in BU 118.

Page 6: The Cauldron - issue 13

PaGe SIx: Monday, April 19, 2010

Photo SPotlIGht: Da$h For Dollar$Photography by Samantha Shunk

Page 7: The Cauldron - issue 13

Monday, April 19, 2010 : PaGe SeveN

Chances are, you have no idea who AJ Khubani is, nor what he looks like.

But, it’s pretty certain that you have bought one of his products or seen his commercials on TV.

Aj Khubani is the founder, president and CEO of the global king Telebrands and made his fortune off a variety of simple household products like the Ped Egg, Go Duster, Shed Ender, and many more that helped with problems in everyday life. His “As Seen On TV Logo” is known worldwide, but Khubani made sure that his projects jumped to the new form of media, the Internet.

The business has gone from $80,000 in revenue in its first year to today’s revenue which is in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

Khubani visited the Cleveland area last week and spent most of his time in interviews for the Cleveland media, but also had time to get a Zamboni ride as well.

The New Jersey native talked to The Cauldron about his business, his involvement with college students, and how he got started, before the Lake Erie Monsters played their final home game of the year.

“In the early 1980s, the country was in a deep recession and was worse than it was today,” Khubani said as he also noted that the unemployment rate was up to 10.8% and inflation was at 13.5%. “The prospects of getting a job out of college were pretty slim and I thought about what I would do to earn a living.” Khubani said that he worked a variety of jobs in college, including making pizza and bartending, and was able to save

roughly $20,000 to start his new company, Telebrands. “I stared the company by selling an AM/FM

headphones in a mail order catalog, which was in print and not on television,” the CEO said, as he was trying to compete with the very popular Walkman that was coveted by all teenagers. That can be compared with bringing a product in today’s market with a version of the iPhone or iPod. In fact, Khubani commented on how the Walkman “was the iPod of the 1980s, everybody wanted one.”

“I broke even on the product, but the first product that made money was a pair of massage slippers,” the CEO recalled. “Those sold quite well, by 1985 we started to make money and by 1986 the revenues had grown to about $11 million. I then thought how to expand from print advertising; we went to television and were very successful almost immediately.”

He then made the huge jump as he went from TV sales into the retail stores, as he broke into a sporting goods store a year later with a pair of sunglasses, starting with an opening order of 200 pieces, which they sold out of, then the store returned with an order of 20,000 pieces.

“We have been selling products for $10 and that has been our most popular price point,” Khubani noted. He also said the fundamental success comes from these steps: advertise to direct response television, brand recognition, then bring the product into the retail stores. “We have continued to retune that model since 1989 and just get better and better at it.”

Not only does Khubani give an ear to inventors that think they have the solution to an everyday problem, but he also gave great advice to college students that are dealing with the tough economy.

“If you are going to be successful at anything, it is going to take hard work. In order to work hard, you have to be passionate about what you are doing. It is very tough to start your own business and be successful; it takes enormous amount of work. If anyone thinks about school, there has to be something that they are passionate about.”

“College is all about [taking] many classes and try[ing] to find out what you like the best,” he said. “When I started in college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but in my sophomore year, I took my first marketing class and I fell in love with it. That class came easy to me and the classes that I enjoyed the most (marketing, accounting, and statistics) happened to come easy to me. It didn’t even feel like work.”

The business guru currently lectures at Princeton and has a program called “Entrepreneurial Engineering,” which helps students come up with products that Telebrands can market. He also annually takes a group of students that have the best projects to China to develop their ideas.

Despite being a very successful businessman, Khubani admits that most people do not recognize him.

“For the most part, people don’t recognize who I am,” he said, “which I think is a good thing.”

advertising Guru Comes to ClevelandBy Rob Ivory, The Cauldron Sports Editor

Photography by Robert Ivory

Page 8: The Cauldron - issue 13

This is an article about BEER.Do I have your attention? Yeah, I thought so.So you think you know all there is to know

about beer, huh? Let me ask you something:- Do you have enough empty Natty Lite cans laying around that you could build yourself some furniture IKEA would be jealous of?- Did you spend your tuition refund check on a new Ping-Pong ball and Solo cup collection? - What if I asked you if you’ve ever had an Arrogant Bastard? Would you sooner list off all of your regretful one-night stands sooner than you would just say “yes” or “no”?

If you answered “yes” to any one of those questions, then do I have a surprise for you. (If by any chance you answered “yes” to them all, then shame on you…I mean, seriously.)

Welcome to The TOP SECRET: No-Fear Guide to Beer. My name is Justin and I’ll be your tour guide (and self-proclaimed “beer snob”) through this wonderfully scattered little file of libation information.

When you think about beer on an average college student’s budget in Cleveland, what do you think of? I’ll bet for the most part it ends up with you, and a few buddies, going to a store, picking up some Bud Lite or Natty and then tossing them back. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s fine, but what if I told you for just about the same amount of money you could experience beer like never before, from all around the world, without ever leaving the city limits?

Well it’s true. Here on campus we are literally no more than 15-20 minutes away from a plethora of amazing beers that will expand your palates and enhance everything you ever thought about the common beer.

Take for example that mysterious gateway, the Bob Hope Memorial bridge, to the illusive “West Side.” Yes, I mean that magical place most eastern Clevelanders ne’er dare tread. Well folks, if the beer enthusiast in you is beginning to feel a bit stifled under all those Miller High Life cans, then perhaps a little getaway to West 25th Street is in order.

What is there for me on West 25th Street, you ask? Only eight minutes from campus, both McNulty’s Bier Markt (pronounced Beer Market) and Cleveland’s favorite son, The Great Lakes Brewery (GLB), reside there and both are excellent establishments to begin expanding your beer palate.

Luke Purcell, brewmaster at the Great Lakes Brewery, has been in the business of beer for a very long time. “I’ve always liked beer,” he says, “as long as I can remember anyway.” When asked what got him started in the brewing business itself, his answer was one that many people don’t even realize is an option, home brewing. “I started to try out better and better beers,” Purcell shared, “and tried making my own beer in my basement…[with] one of the mail-order kits that came with the syrup and the extract in the kit…because it was hard to find good beer back then.”

Starting out in packaging and working his way up to the brewmaster position, Purcell has been there for 14 years. After getting more involved in the brewing end of things, the GLB decided to send Purcell to Beer Technical School, offered at the Siebel Institute in Chicago. There they learn the basics of what it takes to make a beer that easily rivals the yellow, watered-down beverages college students drink on a weekly basis.

Two things Purcell understands very well that all people new to craft beers should come to know are what a beer’s ABV and IBU are, and what they mean. “There are two ways that they measure alcohol [content]: alcohol by weight (ABW) and alcohol by volume (ABV), which is the bigger of the two numbers,” he explained. “Essentially they are the same thing, but more is better in some people’s minds…so ABV is just the percentage of the alcohol in the beer when compared to all the other ingredients.”

When it came to IBUs however, the explanation was slightly more technical. “IBU stands for International Bittering or Bitterness Units,” Purcell said, “and…is an international scale that all brewers in the world use now…[to] kind of [give] you an idea how much bitterness there is [in your beer].” He then went on to explain how exactly an IBU number is ascribed to a beer. “It’s basically on a 1 to 100 scale, and you can exceed that supposedly—it’s not easy to do but it can be done…so it’s usually in the range of 80 to 100. I feel once you get up to around 80 or 90 you can’t tell the difference, kind of like scoville units with hot peppers, when you get to a certain threshold it’s just burning your mouth.” He noted, however, that people shouldn’t fear a beer with a high IBU, and just because a beer is noted as bitter or “hoppy” doesn’t mean that bitterness can’t be balanced out with the sweetness of malts.

When asked, he said he always tells people his favorite beer at the brewery is their award-winning Edmund Fitzgerald Porter. “It’s real dark and roasty…and [even] before I [worked] here it was my favorite beer.” However, if the idea of a darker beer, which tends to be a bit less pleasant and slightly too bitter to the untrained eye and tongue, respectively, Purcell kindly made some suggestions that you and your fellow Vikings should scope out.

“If [you] drink…a generic, yellow beer then we do have a pilsner called The Wright Pils,” he said, “named after the Wright Brothers.” Also along the lines of their lighter beer selection, he recommended, “Our Dortmunder Gold…a really well balanced golden lager and…a really good place to start usually.” Beyond those two, Purcell explained “It just depends on [your] palate. If [you] don’t like bitterness much we have [the] Eliot Ness Amber Lager that has a bit of a darker color.” If there is one thing he feels an average college drinker should try and get over it is, “That “I don’t like dark beer” kind of mentality [which] leads you to taste with your eyes first and is the first hard hurdle to get over. Stouts for example, just because of

The No-Fear Guide to Beer By Justin Brenis, The Cauldron Copy Editor

PagE Eight : Monday, april 19, 2010

Page 9: The Cauldron - issue 13

[their] dark color doesn’t mean [they are] going to be bitter and nasty…”

Right down the street from the GLB is CSU graduate Sam McNulty’s pride and joy, an homage to Belgian Beer, appropriately named McNulty’s Bier Markt. Founded in 2005, along with its restaurant compatriot Bar Cento (pronounced Chen-toh), the Bier Markt, “was originally going to be a world tour of beer.” What made him decide to focus strictly on Belgian brews instead? Well, in what may go down as the epitome of strange-but-true stories, McNulty said, “I was backpacking through India and met a Polish guy who was working at a Belgian beer bar in Australia…we started talking about how many of the best beers in the world come from Belgium. Next thing I know, the concept was now a bar specializing in Belgian beer.” And specialize they most certainly do.

The beer menu, which can be ordered from both the Bier Markt and Bar Cento, is over a foot long and clocks in at roughly five or six pages from cover to cover. To top off this already awesome selection, McNulty plans to add to Cleveland’s up-and-coming brewery scene by opening up The Market Garden Brewery, whose motto aptly is “Where Beer is Bliss…” sometime in the near future.

When asked what sparked opening up his own brewery in conjunction with featuring such a large selection of world brews, McNulty had this to say: “Why let someone else have all the fun of making the beer?” Like his neighbor Luke around the corner, McNulty had, “been home brewing for years, so it was a natural step.” The next step was all in who you know, and luckily, McNulty knew Andy Tveekrem, former GLB Brewmaster, and most recently the brewmaster for Dogfish Head Breweries, another craft brewery out of Chicago. Tveekrem, also known as ‘The Striking Viking’, “is going to be bringing his famous talents to our new Market Garden Brewery,” McNulty proudly boasted.

“But the West Side is scary, Justin, it is a dangerous, unfamiliar territory—terra incognita at its very worst.” First, let me commend you on your grasp of basic Latin, and then assuage your fears by telling you the West Side is not the only area in Cleveland that can hold its own against your newly trained beer-snobitude. Yes, believe it or not, even closer to campus than you’d think, the East Side is home to some great places to expand that beer palate of yours.

For starters, a mere 18 city blocks towards Public Square is Cleveland’s newest night scene since the days of the Flats…East 4th Street. East 4th Street is home to such establishments as Cleveland culinary king Michael Symon’s restaurant Lola, Pickwick and Frolic, and a newer establishment known as The Greenhouse Tavern. Greenhouse, owned and operated by head chef Jonathan Sawyer (recently named one of Food and Wine Magazines “Best New Chefs”), runs on a theory of pure sustainability in everything it does. What does this mean, exactly? Adopting a “green” initiative, the Tavern is built mostly out of materials donated by local donors like the original lab tables from Case Western’s science department, light

fixtures made from bicycle wheels, and hosts a rooftop garden where a number of vegetables and herbs served at the restaurant are grown, w e a t h e r permitting.

This also means that they seek to work with l ike-minded business when it comes to picking food distributors and, in the case of this article, beers to feature. “I would say it’s kind of my love affair with all ingredients that got me into beer,” Sawyer shared. “Shortly after getting into culinary school I realized this is what I am going to do with the rest of my life, so I went on this mission to conquer as many beers…as I possibly could for the rest of my life and that is kind of how it all started.”

“One thing I do kind of like about beer,” Sawyer pointed out, “is that you can view beer as the ‘affordable luxury’ and [that] makes sense [of spending] a couple of extra bucks on a beer. Rather than really splurging on a bottle of wine, in our current economic times it really makes sense to have an affordable luxury. So if you need to celebrate, maybe it isn’t a bottle of really expensive Champagne anymore, maybe it’s a bottle of Saison D’Maison, our house beer.”

With all this talk about “craft” or “micro-” brews, Chef Sawyer took a minute to help clarify the difference between them and what you get at your local 7/11. “The term ‘craft-brewer’ [is] more like a chef owner/operated restaurant. You are having the brewer brew the beer and sell the beer to you, as opposed to having the brewer’s brewmaster’s hired hands getting it to you. So [it is] the more owner/operator style kind of brewery.”

In the end, it was Chef Sawyer who really broke it down into college language, and offered these final words of advice to you, the soon to be college beer snob. “You need to think about your palate just like you think about your education,” he said. “While that 12-pack of Natty Lite may only cost you six dollars, you could get a [better] beer that has 10% alcohol, which equals about four of those [Natty Lites] for the same price. You can also...try...draft beers which are much more affordable than the bottles and begin to educate your palate like that.”

There you have it folks, your own personal guide to leaving boring beer in the dust. Keep in mind though, the aforementioned restaurants are only a few of the many great beer finds in Cleveland, so have some fun and explore! While exploring make sure you use this guide like you should drink your beer, responsibly, and, above all else, enjoy.

Monday, april 19, 2010 : PagE ninE

Photography by Justin Brenis

Page 10: The Cauldron - issue 13

&enTerTAinMenTArTsMONDAY, APRIL 19, 201010Greetings, noble reader. You’re looking

well today. Did you do something different with your hair? No? It just does that naturally?

Well.Regardless, I’m glad you stopped by –

we’ve got things to talk about. No, no – nothing serious. But you know how you’re always complaining that there’s no good music on the radio, and you’ve no way to sort through all this confusing ‘non-mainstream’ stuff? I just

wanted to say, well, I’m here for you. We all are – the whole Noise Inspector Family is – from Jon with his boots, to Alexes and her curious southern customs, to me, with my vexing habit of addressing you directly in these little preambles, and usage of words like “vexing” and “preamble.”

We’ve got your back, whether you like it or not. So, since you’re here, I would um, I guess, suggest you like it? Anyway, to the reviews!

Fang Island – Fang IslandOkay guys, ok. So... you’re art students from

the Rhode Island School of Design. You named your band after an article in The Onion about Donald Rumsfeld’s secret lair, and the mythical island it was hidden on. You have described your sound as, and I quote, “everyone high-fiving everyone.”

Congratulations! My attention: you have it.The question is, do they keep said attention?

The answer – for those who tire of drowning in my oceans of prose – is a resounding “kinda.” Not that I mean to damn them with faint praise, far from it. Fang Island is unlikely to be the CD that changes your life, makes you re-think a genre, or otherwise dominates your headphones for any great length of time.

But it’s fun.Guitarist Jason Bartell has described their

approach as “making music for people who like music” - as opposed to, say, Joe Satriani – who

makes music for people who like people who make music. Convoluted sentences aside, Fang Island wants to make fun music, and they seem to succeed more often than not. Sort of a less-yuppie version of Vampire weekend – which, after the tryingly pretentious Contra, Vampire Weekend themselves might want to consider – there’s little in the way of pretense here.

Any other band having a poorly-shot video where they rock out in a Kindergarten classroom would likely feel contrived, and cheesy. These guys just seemed to be happy to be there. The Kindergarteners themselves, seemed to be having a good time, but a few got bored pretty quickly. And while letting the reactions of a group of little kids preface my sharing the same opinion might leave me unemployed rather quickly, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

The verdict? Fun, infectious, if fleeting. On a scale of Kidz Bop to the Ramones, I give this six and a half Andrew W.K.’s.

Crime In Stereo – I Was Trying To Describe You To Someone

So, there are two types of people who’re going to be reading this – those who have some clue as to who in the Sam Hill these Crime In Stereo guys are, and those without said clue.

The latter group is likely to outnumber the former 20 or so to 1. But that’s ok – we’re going to go on this journey together. See, Crime In Stereo used to be a Hardcore Punk band, or maybe it was skate punk – some would argue that it was melodic hardcore, but I would argue that nobody can agree what that means, so the distinction is mostly academic.

Basically, they sounded like Dag Nasty, played really fast, screamed a lot, and their albums had titles like Explosives and the Will to Use Them. They were quite lovely.

But this? I don’t really know what to call this record – it’s not really punk, or hardcore, or post-hardcore, or any of those things. I suppose it sounds a little like Alexisonfire – albeit without the math-rock sensibility, and the overwrought emotionalism. Which, let it be said, I think is a great thing.

It reminds me a little of The Devil and God are Raging Inside me by Brand New, but that’s not an exact fit either – Brand New started out as a frankly whiny emo band, if a good example of one; but by Devil, they seemed to transition to something with exponentially more gravity – both in sound, and subject matter. I described it at the time as “the kind of album that you’d expect someone who writes about girls not liking them to make – after they’d experienced real tragedy first-hand.”

Yes, I just quoted myself. Yes, I know how

insufferably gauche that is – bear with me.The thing is, Devil was very much a poppy

band learning about weight, and dynamics. Crime in Stereo has always known how to deliver a boot to the face – now they’re learning how to sing, and the power of silence, and space – but make no mistake, they didn’t misplace the boots or anything.

I could continue the comparison train, referencing other hardcore and punk bands to expand into more melodic territory – AFI, Greenday, whoever – but none of these comparisons really fit. It jumps around in terms of speed and aggression, with tracks like “Drugwolf” echoing early Sponge – which I guess makes it post-grunge - and “Type One,” and “Everything I’m Not,” which sounds a little like Angels and Airwaves might, if AVA wasn’t a bad U2 clone. I think I hear Deftones in there, but it’s hard to say. Sometimes I want to call it “Alternative,” but I know that doesn’t exist anymore – it should be indie, or post-whatever. Post-something – but all the somethings have already been taken, and post-post hardcore doesn’t work, and neocore sounds unabashedly lame. But none of that is important. What is important, is that for the most part, it works – this album really, really works.

At the end of the day, it’s just music; urgent, melodic, powerful music. There’s singing, some screaming. Some songs are grand in scope, some more poignant – but from the first track to the last, this is an album with gravity; and I dare say, gravitas.

I don’t know what they were trying to do, but I think they succeeded. On a scale of Radiohead to Hatebreed, you guys are yourselves. Eight and a half Rock Horns out of ten.

Courtesy: Myspace.com

Courtesy: Myspace.com

Noise iNspectors We Rock So You Don’t Have To

By Jonathan “Killstring” Herzberger The Cauldron A&E Editor

Page 11: The Cauldron - issue 13

Monday, April 19, 2010 : PaGe eleveN

Wow. Mid-April, 2010. Where’s the time gone?Funny you should mention that - as Tex & I have just returned from the future, where we’ve been battling cyborg ninja zombies for the good of all. This is a lesser-known

responsibility of section editors here at The Cauldron - sure, we ensure the integrity of our respective sections, bringing fresh, relevant content to you, our beloved readers; but

we also defend the time stream. Look it up.Anyway, in our return trip to the present, we happened to stop a few days early - or

rather, a few days late - to catch some Cleveland Concert Action. What can I say? We’re always on duty. At any rate, here’s the best of the near-future. And as to the far future?

Let’s just say that if someone wants you to test some ‘experimental augmentation technology’, wait until it’s out of beta.

TRUST US.

Alexes’ Pick: 4/20 Thrice w/ Manchester Orchestra @ House of Blues

Okay, so you know how last week, I said that Jon and I very rarely agree on which concert is in your best interest? Just nod your head yes, because I definitely said it. Now that statement just feels silly, because again, we agree. Only this time, I refuse to re-pick. I’ve planned for this show to be my pick and had a ticket for it for months. So, yes, for the first time ever (I think), you’re getting a double-dose of one concert.

Oh, Dustin Kensrue. If I could, I’d make a miniature clone of you and put it on my nighstand so that it could sing me to sleep on a nightly basis. That’s not creepy, right? Eh, even if it is, I love your raspy angelic voice, and I expect a lot of it on Tuesday. Heck, even my grandmother loves your music, not because she’s totally awesome (she is), but because your voice is incredible.

And surrounding your voice, is this amazing music, made by the hands of the amazing men that you call bandmates. When I listen to you, I am just transported to this mystical land where everything is tragically beautiful, and uni--

Oh, hey, sorry reader, you’re still here, aren’t you. I was having a moment with Dustin. Awwwwkkwwaard.

Yea, so, the show’s $21. And if you haven’t guessed by the double-dosage of reasons, missing this show will probably lead to your early demise during the cyborg ninja zombie apocalypse. Just sayin’.

Killstring’s Pick: 4/20 Manchester Orchestra w/ Thrice, O’Brother @ the HOB

Now, at first you might have thought this was a typo. Isn’t Thrice headlining this show? A cursory glance at any playbill, either in person on online will quickly tell you that yes, the order I’ve listed here is incorrect, and Thrice is headlining this show, and indeed, tour.

Stop bothering me with this “reality” you speak of. Not interested.

I could (and have) elucidate(d) for thousands of words why Manchester O is wonderful, why you should think they are wonderful, and why missing them when they grace your city with their presence is a sub-optimal use of your time. I’d use the phrase ‘sub-optimal’ at least twice more, and you’d be highly convinced of my intellectual acumen, and be inclined to experience the Orchestra live based purely on my eloquent arguments.

But man, who’s got time like that?What you need to know: Man O plays

rock music. I suppose you could call them indie rock, or garage revivalists, but the fact is really, they play rock music. I doubt what they do would sound terribly out of place in any era - they’re not throwbacks, so much as they’re just doing their thing. You should catch them doing said thing - it’s eighteen and a half dollars - I’ve spent more than that on bad dates that left me bitter, sad, and alone at the end of the night. Catch the O, and you might be bitter, happy and alone - and that’s a hell of an upgrade. Plus, you get Thrice - who are still very much the Thrice you remember. If you liked them in 2004, you will probably still like them now - and honestly, they’re good enough to see all by their lonesome.

And you may as well stick around for them, since you’re already going to the Manchester Orchestra show.

You don’t need a time machine to know these shows are going to rock - but we have one, and we checked anyway. They rock.

Concert PicksBy Alexes Spencer and Jonathan “Killstring” Herzberger,

The Cauldron News and A&E Editors

Advertisement

Other Shows: 4/19 Big D & the Kids Table W/Tropadelic, Johnny Red & The

Skammunists @ the Grog Shop, $104/20 Appleseed Cast w/Dreamend @

the Grog Shop, $84/21 Alexisonfire w/Trash Talk,

Therefore I am @ Peabody’s, $134/21 Comedy Night at the Grog w/Bill

Squire, Katrina Brown , and CSU’s Jim Tews @ the Grog Shop, $5

4/22 Echo & The Bunnymen @ the House of Blues, $24.50

4/23 Jarrod Gorbel (formerly of Honorary Title) @ the Beachland

Ballroom

4/23 Bleeding Through w/Born of Osiris, Sleeping Giant, Oceano, Legend @

Peabody’s, $154/25 Clipse w/Ninjasonik, XV, Doxx,

Blacease @ the Grog Shop, $204/25 Bane w/Above This Fire, The

Alpha and Omega, Heads Held High, Homewrecker @ Now That’s Class, $10

Page 12: The Cauldron - issue 13

PaGe twelve : Monday, April 19, 2010

WEEKLY IN

It’s an iPod Touch glued to two giant batteries and a gigantic, beautiful screen. The end.

For those of you who want a little more detail, read on. On April 3, 2010, Apple released their latest product line to a veritable maelstrom of publicity, hype, and fervent anticipation. Steve Jobs & Co. had whipped the public into a frenzy over their new product, which had been touted as a “Magical” and “Revolutionary” device.

That’s not me waxing hyperbolic. The actual preview videos show designers talking about how magical it is – they use that word, “magical, over and over in every announcement, advertisement – anytime the word iPad showed up, there was a revolution in magic not far behind. Then suddenly, the clouds opened up, the red sea parted, and people had these things in their hands. 300,000 people on launch day alone.

So who bought all these iPads at launch? The answer shouldn’t be surprising; it was Apple Geeks.

Now, I say this without meaning anything derogatory by it – ‘geek’ simply doesn’t carry the sting, or the stigma it might have had a decade or two ago – geeks pervade popular western culture, and it’s a beautiful thing. But Apple Geeks is a lot nicer than saying Apple Fanatics, Apple Fanboys, or The Cult Of Apple, so that’s what we’re going with. Whatever you call them, a launch day survey by Piper Jaffray’s Gene Munster revealed unsurprising statistics that should shock no one.

74% were Mac users (26% owned PC’s, nobody was computer-less) and 96% planned to continue using their computers – only a fraction of the launch day customers were expecting to take home a primary-use device.

66% already owned iPhones. Only four or five respondents (<1%) intended to try and replace their iPhone with the iPad – and 99% said they intended to use the devices together.

78% said they didn’t even consider any other gadget before buying an iPad. 10% were thinking about buying a Kindle, 6% a netbook, 4% a laptop, 1% an iPhone, 1% an iPod touch.

So, these are some illuminating numbers, but the thing that I’m most curious to know is fairly simple: what does one do with an iPad?

Well, of the launch-day survey participants, those who couldn’t wait to get their hands on the Magical Revolution, 74% planned to use their iPads to surf the Web; 38% to read books; 32% to e-mail; 26% to watch video; 18% to play games and other apps; 8% to listen to music. So really, when you look at market applications, the main competitor would seem to be netbooks.

Now, the emerging netbook market is one you can’t blame anyone for wanting a slice of. At 30.2 million shipped in 2009, and a forcast of 43.8 million shipped in 2010 – and that’s assuming that the iPad and anything else in the “Tablet” market will significantly eat into the market share – there are a lot of people in this market. Which really, if you need a portable device to surf the web, use email, and watch movies/listen to music on, you don’t need a quad-core Alienware laptop that could double as a fallout shelter – you need something to get the job done.

Having said that, does the iPad get this particular job done?

Depends. While conducting research for this assignment, I politely requested $499 to purchase a device, you know – for review purposes. People have a right to know. If you think this was a ridiculous thought with no chance of happening, you are absolutely correct, dear reader – as such, my hands-on time with Apple’s Magical Revolution has been pretty limited. Still, that’s not the same as non-existent, so read on, friend.

Your standard-issue netbook is going to run somewhere between $250 to $600 – if you’re paying more than that, there’s little reason to not just get a laptop – as the difference between 2.33 pounds on your lap, and 4 pounds is not that big a deal, and you may as well get some more power for your money.

So at $499 for the basic model, the iPad is pretty well positioned – and as a web-browsing device, it has both massive pros and cons weighing in.

On the pro side, all that talk of Magic and Revolution aren’t as banal as I first thought – using this thing is simply enjoyable – doubly so if you’ve ever watched Star Trek: The Next Generation. I found myself saying “Captain’s Log” whenever I opened a new page – see what I mean? We’re all geeks here, nothing but love.

But I digress. The screen is bright and clear – unless you’ve used the thing at all, in which case, the screen is bright and clear if not for all the fingerprint grease smeared all over it. I am touching the future, and I don’t think the rest of the future washes its hands. Still, the screen is colorful, and lovely. Any concerns I might have had about the iPad’s functionality as an e-reader evaporated – books look nice on this screen, and comics look nothing short of incredible. Seriously – if you never liked comics in their native form, this is the kind of device that could well change your mind.

So, all is well, yes? Not quite.You see, 85% of the top 100 websites in the world

use this thing called “Flash.” It’s a runtime platform that lets things move. And like the iPhone, and iPod touch before it, the iPad has exactly zero flash support. Want a workaround? Hopefully, there’s an app for that. This is why you’ll see things like a You Tube app – because if you just go to youtube.com, you’re out of luck. So no Hulu, no Farmville, no embedded videos on BBC, CNN, or Fox News’ respective .coms, no games, no interactivity, and in a move that clearly demonstrates a lack of understanding as to just what people are using their computers for – no porn.

That’s right kids – if you want naked people on your iPad, you’ll have to get them through the app store. Good luck!

Now, there’s been a lot of back and forth as to why the decision to leave flash out of Apple’s mobile devices. Some point to a feud, where Adobe – the company that makes flash, as well as Photoshop, Illustrator, and others – denied Apple platform exclusivity back in the 90’s, and think that Steve Jobs is still miffed about it. While I cannot pretend to fathom what goes on in Jobs’ mind – though I would guess it involves a lot of maniacal cackling – there is a significantly more practical reason. To understand it, we’ll have to go inside the iPad – literally.

In this age of advanced electronics, reverse engineering is something of a trend. Apparantly to the

point where there exist entire firms, who will break things open, figure out how they work, and sell you their research. Handy. A firm called Chipworks has done exactly that with the iPad, and what they found was more than a little vindicating to iSkeptics.

Let me break this down for you: the iPad is essentially an iPod Touch, glued to two giant batteries, with a screen on top. That’s it. The top-secret A4 processor is a nice processor if you’re making mobile phones, or, as it turns out, iPads. It is, like all netbooks “close enough.” What does this have to do with Flash?

Everything.See, in this writer’s opinion – of which he is hardly the

lone holder – is that the omission of Flash is a conscious decision, in terms of not taxing the little processors more than they can handle. There are coding workarounds, but the closed nature of the App Store places the impetus to do this work on the developers. Running flash on an iPhone – to say nothing of an iPad – would not only tax the processing power of the units, but could potentially cripple their 3G networks. In addition, there’s a very, very good reason not to use Flash on a touchscreen device of any sort – mainly, that of the holding, or mouseover problem. There’s no cursor to leave lying about, there’s no cursor to hover over top of anything, and this is a huge part of how many flash sites integrate functionality.

Quite frankly, nobody developed this software with touchscreen computing in mind. Whether that changes or not, whether the advent of HTML 5 – which for those non-geeks still reading, is a platform that promises to replicate a lot of the functionality of Flash – will change anything, remains to be seen.

So, where does this leave us? Should you buy an iPad?

The answer, perhaps unsurprisingly, is, well; it depends. The main problem is, why do you want one? What do you do with it? For all it’s pomp and circumstance, the iPad as it stands today is a solution looking for a problem.

For lengthy sessions, the problem of how to hold the damn thing is non-trivial – it seems to work best on a couch, or similarly comfy chair. It’s not as portable as the iPhone, which means you pretty much have to treat it like a netbook or standard laptop – you will need a bag, and probably one with some padding and protection. It won’t replace your music player, typing on it isn’t bad – but I wouldn’t want to do serious emails, articles, or papers on it – the screen does a great job mimicking the functionality of a keyboard, but it makes a poor replacement.

It’s got wonderful battery life, a gorgeous screen, and an app store packed with potential, if nothing terribly Magical or Revolutionary at launch. If you’re constantly on airplanes, I can see why you’d love one. Having said that, if you already have a laptop you like, the reasons to buy an iPad seem extraordinarily few. It’s a novel luxury item, albeit one that could develop into something that changes mobile computing as we know it – but today, it’s still a novel luxury item. So, if you’ve got five hundred or so dollars burning a hole in your pocket, and you love being on the cutting edge – should you buy an iPad?

iWouldn’t. But iDon’t have that kind of cash lying around.

iGuess?Behind the Revolutionary Magic of Apple’s iPadBy Jonathan “Killstring” Herzberger, The Cauldron A&E Editor

Courtesy: Apple.com

Page 13: The Cauldron - issue 13

MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010 sPorTs 13<< Cleveland Indians: Opening Day 2010

When you’re on the top, life is good. The Cleveland State softball team’s stock continues to rise ever since they won the Horizon League (HL) last year. Last week

has been their best week of the 2010 season as several key players and figures in the softball program reached major milestones, not even halfway through the year.

It has been a year of both offense and defense, which makes Cleveland State the odds on favorite to win the league, again. The team is led by the arm of senior Amanda Macenko, who has surpassed the 100 career win mark and has broken the previous school record of 909 strikeouts.

“I’m just really proud that I am able to do it here and with this team,” the Vikings ace said of her accomplishments. “I don’t think I would have had nearly as much fun doing everything that I’ve done, with anyone else, because these girls are great. I love this team.”

And Amanda has rewritten mostly all of the history books at Cleveland State.

When Amy Kyler finished her career at Cleveland State in 1997, she had 500 strikeouts more than the closest Viking. Now, Amanda has surpassed the 910 mark and continues to ring up opposing batters like there is no tomorrow. At the beginning of the year, Amanda had the most innings pitched and the best win percentage (.678). She trailed only Kyler in strikeouts and appearances, but has taken those titles and still has more than 17 games remaining in her career.

The ace has also been on top of the annual records as she has the most wins for a single season (28 in 2008) only to beat herself (26 in both 2007 and 08). She has the most appearances (48 in 2009) and the second most in 2008.

“I also know that I would not have gotten as many opportunities here as I would have gotten anywhere else,” the hurler said. Amanada has also been recognized by the league, as well, as she has won the 2010 Horizon League Softball Pitcher of the Week three times this year (March 1, March 22, and April 12).

“Since we have had her,” head coach Angie Nicholson exclaimed, “she’s always wanted to be in the circle

(pitching). I am happy for her and she deserves the 100 wins. She has earned every single one of those.”

With Cleveland State currently in first place and going to surpass the 30-win mark, it’s not only Amanda that is getting things done.

As of April 12 (the last updated league stats), the Vikings lead the league in runs scored, runs batted in, triples, homeruns, total bases stole bases, grounded into the least amount of double plays, and even have the most walks in the league.

Freshman Tess Sito has been one of the major players in the bashing that has been going on the diamond. The Elyria native leads the league in batting average, slugging percentage, on base percentage, hits, runs scored, homers, runs batted in, total bases, and stole bases. Also a member of the HL Batter of the Week for February 22.

Adding to the offensive powerhouse is senior Lia Gordon. Gordon smacked her own school record when she belted the walk-off homerun against rivals Wright State in a come from behind victory. Lia now stands with 7 homeruns and passed Amy Jauert (1995-98) with her record setting homer.

“(The record) means a lot to me,” Gordon said, “I think by far its one of the best teams to play at Cleveland State. Amanda and I have been playing together for seven years and to come in together and go out together, I would not want to do it with anybody else.”

Lia already has competition for the homerun record, as freshman Tess has already hit 13 homeruns in less than a year as well as Dara Toman’s eight.

However, the most impressive record that has been broken is head coach Angie Nicholson reaching 100 career wins as skipper of the Vikings.

The coach came in as the 10th in CSU history and already has the second most wins as coach in only her fourth year. And this year’s squad may get the coach back to the NCAA Tournament.

“These guys just never say die, that’s what’s amazing about them,” the coach said, “I never feel that it’s over.”

For Cleveland State softball; there may be no ceiling as this stock keeps rising, higher and higher.

VIKINg SOFTBALL hITS rECOrD hIghSBy Rob Ivory, The Cauldron Sports Editor

Amanda MacenkoTwo-time Horizon League

Pitcher of the Year

STATSWins

2009. . . . . 28 2008. . . . . 26 2007. . . . . 26

Shutouts (Since 1990) 2009. . . . . 6 2008. . . . . 8 2007. . . . . 5

Strikeouts 2008. . . . 272 2009. . . . 267 2007. . . . 153

Games Started (Since 1990) 2009. . . . 45 2008. . . . 38 2007. . . . 31

Lowest ERA 2008. . . . 1.44

Appearances 2009. . . . 48 2008. . . . 46 2007. . . . 41

Innings Pitched 2009. . . . 275.0 2008. . . . 273.0 2007. . . . 227.1

Complete Games (Since 1990) 2008. . . . 35 2009. . . . 34 2007. . . . 25

Career Wins(2006-pres). . . . 80

Lowest ERA (Min. 100 innings pitched)

(2007-pres). . . . 1.94

Career Innings Pitched

(2006-pres) . . . 775.1

Career Strikeouts (2006-pres) . . . . 692

Career Winning Percentage

(Min. 20 decisions) (2006-pres. . . . 678 (80-38)

Career Appearances (2006-pres) . . . . 135

Photography by Robert Ivory

Page 14: The Cauldron - issue 13

PaGe FourteeN : Monday, April 19, 2010

The Cleveland Cavaliers postseason begans Saturday at 3pm when they achieved a victory from the Bulls out of the Windy City. As Cleveland sports fans, we have seen our fair share of excitement, just to be let down in the end with no championship. So the ultimate question remains: can the Cavs pull it out and win a championship for this city?

This year’s team is stacked with players and I truly believe this team has just as much talent as the 1990’s Chicago Bulls did in the years that Jordan was there. Just before the trading deadline the team made a trade that many fans were devastated in. Not many really looked at the type of player the Cavs were getting in Antawn Jamison. A lot of people just saw it as a loss in Zydrunas Ilgauskas. But then it turns out that the Cavs got a two-for-one deal when Z came back for the Cavs citing that he loved the city, the

people and the locker room atmosphere too much to go anywhere else.

Another big weapon the Cavs have is Shaq. He is a monster out there, when he is not hurt. He is expected to play in the first game of the playoffs which will prove to be a real test for the young Joakim Noah from Chicago.

As for the Cavs I think it all comes down to consistency. Lately they have lost a bunch of games due to resting LeBron and Jamison. But when the team gets together they need to feed off the crowd and stay together. They have had some games where they did not look all that great and shooting from West and Williams can be a deciding factor in this postseason.

The Cavs should not have a problem getting to the Conference finals but look for that series to be hard-fought

series. Teams like the Magic and the Hawks are dangerous this year and though the Celtics have gotten their act together despite a slow start, the Cavs have had their number all season long.

Many of the sports analysts are calling for a Lakers vs. Cavs final, though I do not see this happening. The Denver Nuggets have shown that they can play with the big guys and I see the Nuggets playing the Cavs for the championship.

Ultimately, I see the championship going to Cleveland and seeing a big huge parade for the city. Getting through the playoffs is number one priority and if the Cavs make it all the way, then I think you may see a happier James wanting to sign another contract. So cheer on the Cavs as they attempt history and get the city a championship.

IS ThIS FINALLY ThE YEAr?By William Wodka, The Cauldron Staff Writer

Chicago Daily Tribune, Wednesday, April, 17, 1940

the SPortS FlaShbaCk by robert Ivory, The Cauldron Sports editor

Page 15: The Cauldron - issue 13

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