Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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EXERCISE 1 THE BOMB SHELTER EXERCISE

The following 14 individuals and their family members are in this Hotel which doubles as nuclear bomb shelter after a nuclear attack has occurred.

These 14 individuals are the only humans left alive on earth. It will take two weeks for the radiation level to subside to a

safe level. Food and supplies can sustain 5 people for two weeks. The decision as to who will "survive" must be unanimous.

ONLY 5 PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE IN THIS SITUATION! 1. Paolo, Italian, 35, married, one child (Bobby), no religious affiliation. In good health, active

physically, enjoys politics, very friendly, but homophobic. 2. Agata,18, trans-woman. She lives with her parents who are Jehovahs witnesses and do not

support her transition. She does not want any medical interventions. She is at University studying art history. 6 months ago she was diagnosed as having schizophrenia.

3. Greg Dane. Jewish, 38, BS and MS in psychology, counselor in a mental health clinic, good health, one child (Bobby), active in community activities.

4. Bobby Dane, Jewish, 10, attended special education classes for 4 years, mentally challenged, IQ of 70, good health, enjoys pets.

5. Marcus, German, 27, trans-man. He is HIV positive. He works as a psychiatric nurse with vulnerable adolescents. Marcus has 2 children, aged 5 and 6, who live with him but are not here at the moment.

6. Maria, Spanish, 33, raised Catholic, mature Individual, exotic dancer, prostitute, good health, in a foster home as a child, was attacked by foster father at age of 12, ran away from home, has a child, 3 weeks old (Sandra).

7. Sandra, three weeks old, Spanish-French, good health, nursing. 8. Jovan Mali, Croatian tourist visiting Edinburgh, 32, Catholic, BA and MA in primary education,

teacher, divorced with one child (Tina), good health, outstanding teacher, enjoys working with children.

9. Tina Mali, Croatian, 8, Catholic, primary school, excellent Individual, good health. 10. Clara, Romani (Gypsy), 21, no children, good health, enjoys outdoors sports, grew up in Serbia. 11. Eva, Polish, 21, hard working Individual in dentistry, she is also a nurse. 12. Lord Flanagan. Irish, 75, Catholic, psychologist, MBP, active in civil rights activities,

criticized for his liberal views, good health, former athlete. 13. Dr. Lee. Asian-British, 66, general practitioner, has had two heart attacks in the past 5 years,

but continues to practice medicine. 14. Pauline, 14, pre-op trans-woman. She is still at school. She has a lot of support from her

family regarding her transition and has recently started going out in her female role

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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EXERCISE 1b How well did you listen to the others in your group? Did you feel heard? Did you allow yourself to be pressured into changing your mind? Were you too stubborn that so that the group couldn't reach a decision? Did you feel you had the right answer? What do your own selections say to you about your values? What surprised you about your choices or the selections of other groups? What assumptions did you make about gender? Race? etc.

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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EXERCISE 2 What are your personal challenges, stressors and conflict situations? Write them in the circles below - depending on whether you feel they are predominantly in and out of your control.

In Control

No Control

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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EXERCISE 3 Things/activities that are positive for us that you do to feel less stressed, anxious or depressed.

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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FOR FUTURE REFERENCE 1 Conflict resolution strategy 1. Know yourself 2. Identify Personal needs 3. Choose safe negotiation place 4. Active listening 5. Clearly express your needs 6. Use problem solving and appreciative inquiry to identify problems/options Preventing conflict 1. STOP 2. LISTEN 3. OBSERVE 4. RESPOND Resources http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.htm http://www.ohrd.wisc.edu/onlinetraining/resolution/index.asp

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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FOR FUTURE REFERENCE 2 How to manage deadlock in conflicts and negotiations? During the negotiation process, people will commonly get "stuck" and feel a sense of desperate frustration about what is occurring. At such times, it is important to consider the appropriate use of the following strategies:

1. When stuck, talk about how it feels set aside "the issue" for the moment. 2. Reframe the issue: Shift from substantive issues to procedural. 3. Break the problem into more manageable elements. Start with a shared concern 4. When in doubt: restate and mirror what the other person is saying. Show reasonable

efforts to understand his or her point of view. 5. Stay flexible - generate new options. 6. Validate and affirm areas of agreement these are frequently overlooked, as we

have focused only on areas of disagreement! 7. Clarify criteria: On what basis are we evaluating the various options before us? Can

we agree on criteria that are "mutually acceptable" to all parties, even if not fully shared by all?

8. Reaffirm the ground rules. Again, these are frequently overlooked at times of deadlock.

9. Take a structured break.. Be sure people go to the break with "homework" to do. 10. Explore best next alternative. This allows for an important reality check before

determining not to negotiate further.

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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EXERCISE 4 AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE 3 Strategies for Looking After Yourself 1. Prioritise your issues that needs addressing

Priority Issue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 2. Setting smart Goals You may have identified a number of issues, but choose one or two and formulate a SMART goal.

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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3. Identify your strengths Event/ Issue My Three Strengths

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

Identify positive aspects/things of the day/event/issue Day/Event/ Issue Three Positive Things

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

1 2 3

Dr Dasha Grajfoner: Managing challenges and stresses, Exercises, Capacity Building Seminar", Edinburgh 12.9.11, Edinburgh

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4. Responsibility pie chart Think of a present or past even or an issue that made you experience guilt or shame and do the following: 1. List people and aspects involved in the situation excluding yourself. 2. Put yourself last on the list 3. Assign proportions of the responsibility for the event that reflect relative responsibility- again put your own % in last. Name/aspect of event/issue % Responsibility

Draw a pie chart to illustrate the above proportions Have your thoughts about your responsibility changed?