Hampton Roads Crossfire

2 About “The Bench”

3-5 Advertisements

6 Schedule.Scores.Standings

7-11 Team Write-Ups

12 Skeeball Tournament

13 Picture Captions

14 The Hookup

15 Double Pitcher Contest

16 Sponsor Bar & Charity

17-18 Pictures

Tom Zuppke

Please direct any comments or

questions to your league representative.

The BenchWinter 2013: Issue 3

Coming Soon To “The Bench” Near You

Then email them to me at backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Double

Pitcher

Contests

Every team will be offered a space every edition of theNewsletter to submit something funny... write abouttheir game... whatever...and since we’re doing anewsletter every Wednesday of every week, you haveplenty of time to come up with something! If yourteam doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in thenewsletter, talk to your captain!

Ideas for Team SubmissionsWhen I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas:• Play by plays of the game• Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s

amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ]

• Draw pictures!!!!!• Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube

video, or motivational speeches!• Email chains from the morning after .• Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the

internet• Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person

with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.!• Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.

Submissions are due EVERY Wednesday by 7 p.m.

Backyard Sports Club’s email is backyardsportsclub@gmail.com. I look forward to

working with all of you!

** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.

DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check,not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s,the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in thenewsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We willtry to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know sothat they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiestthing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in goodfun.

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

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Ghent Winter Bar TourFriday, February 22nd

READY! SET! CRAWL! Already the most charitable pub crawl inthe nation, the Ghent Winter Bar Tour will try to outdo itselfonce again on Saturday, February 23rd as it hits the streets ofmidtown Norfolk for the biggest night out this winter, and it’sONLY $20. As always, all proceeds from this event will benefit afantastic organization making a big difference in our localcommunity - Edmarc Hospice for Children! More than 1,000participants helped make last winter's tour a raging success with$22,250 raised for charity and we expect even more good thingsthis time around. Our largest annual pub crawl will journey onceagain down Colley Avenue, 21st Street, and the surroundinglocale in the historic midtown Norfolk neighborhood of Ghentfrom 4:00 PM until 9:00 PM (or whenever the last bar closes).All of the details on this grandest of charity pub crawls,including how to register for the event, are available throughthe links in the menu above. So get yourself and all of yourfriends signed up now... because it's time to crawl!

Register Now: http://www.ghentwinterbartour.com/

BYSC Charity Skeeball TournamentSaturday, February 23rd

In conjunction with the good people at Millions of Beers, BackyardSports Club would like to invite you to participate in the CharitySkeeball Tournament to help raise money for the Hampton RoadsSpecial Olympics. The mission of Special Olympics is to provide year-round sports training and athletic competition in a variety of Olympic-type sports for children and adults with intellectual disabilities, givingthem continuing opportunities to develop physical fitness,demonstrate courage, experience joy and participate in a sharing ofgifts, skills and friendship with their families, other Special Olympicsathletes and the community. To provide these wonderful athleteswith such amazing opportunities, the Special Olympics Foundationrelies on the generous support of public donations as they are, andwill continue to be, a nonprofit organization.

Who: Your team will consist of two players. When: Saturday, February 23rd from 11am – 3pm.Where: Millions of Beers, 1732 Parkview Dr, Chesapeake,

Virginia 23320Cost: $20 per person

REGISTER at www.backyardsportsclub.com

Hair Graphics

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WANNA ADVERTISE?If you have a business or an event that you want to

get out to the league, email me with details.

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Tropical Smoothie211 25th Street

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Eat Better. Feel Better. If you’re looking for a healthy bite to eator looking to cater your next party, go to Tropical Smoothie at theOceanfront! Our very own, Nikki Rivera from Long N’ Hard Ballsowns this joint, so lets show her some love! Tropical Smoothieoffers high quality, great tasting food and smoothies that willleave you refreshed, not sluggish!

Backyard Sports Club SpecialAny person wearing their Backyard Sports Club shirt will receive 10% off your order. So I suggest you keep an extra BYSC shirt in

the back of your car!

This offer only valid at Tropical Smoothie at the Oceanfront!

Pembroke Chiropractic

Holly Hickson and MarcieMasterman from HoleyBalls in Your Mouth work atPembroke Chiropractic forDr. Mark Soccio. Allow yourbody to “Fall Into GoodHealth” this season withoutthe use of harmful drugs orsurgery. Our holisticapproach goes beyond themedical approach. Our firstgoal is to help you get outof pain as quickly aspossible by assisting yourbody’s inborn ability toheal. Discover Chiropractic!

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Funding Factory Recycling Rumble

It’s Grassfield High vs. Clay County Schools, WV in the2013 Funding Factory Recycling Rumble, and you’ve gotwhat it takes for us to “out-recycle” the competition!

If you have any empty laser and inkjet cartridges, used cellphones, iPods, MP3 playrs, GPS devices, digital cameras,or any of the sort, drop them off at Grassfield High SchoolMain Entrance or with Stella Solorazano from DodgieStyle. NOW THROUGH APRIL 15th. With each item youcontribute, Grassfield High School will be closer to earninga 25% fundraising bonus and winning an Apple iPad!

Let’s help out one of our local schools to achieving one oftheir many goals!

MAKE SURE TO READ DETAILS FOR THE DOUBLE PITCHER CONTEST FOR NEXT WEEK!

Thanks for helping to bring the recycling title to Grassfield!

8:00 Games• Anywhere But the Face vs. Sloppy Seconds Court 1 Ref: James Salgado• Sons of Pitches vs. Dodgie Style Court 2 Ref: Tom Zuppke• Silent Assassins vs. Snack Pack City Court 3 Ref: Terrence Williams• Not Your Average Joes vs. You’re Killin Me, Balls! Court 4 Ref: Nicki LeBlanc9:00 Games• Rings Around Uranus vs. Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth Court 1 Ref: Jon Reyes• Clown Babies vs. Ballsagna Court 2 Ref: Will Buker• Stranger Danger vs. Long N’ Hard Balls Court 3 Ref: Jen Price• Dodgie Style vs. Silent Assassins Court 4 Ref: Shaun Stauffer

Stranger Danger 4 4 0 0Dodgie Style 4 3 1 0 Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth! 4 3 1 0You’re Killin me, Balls! 4 3 1 0Anywhere But the Face 4 3 1 0Sloppy Seconds 4 3 1 0Not Your Average Joes 3 2 1 0 Clown Babies 3 2 1 0Snack Pack City 3 1 1 0Silent Assassins 3 0 3 0Rings Around Uranus 3 0 3 0Sons of Pitches 3 0 3 0Ballsagna 3 0 3 0Long N’ Hard Balls 3 0 3 0

Week 3 Score Board

Standings

Week 4 Schedule, Friday Feb. 22nd

Teams ScoreSilent Assassins vs. Stanger Danger 3-7Ballsagna vs. Dodgie Style 2-10Sloppy Seconds vs. Snack Pack City 8-3Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth vs. Anywhere But the Face 9-5Sons of Pitches vs. Not Your Average Joe’s 5-6Dodgie Style vs. Rings Around Uranus 9-4Long N’ Hard Balls vs. Clown Babies 4-11Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth vs. You’re Killin Me, Balls! 8-4

Team Name GP W L T

Team write-ups

"All the dodgeball ladies...put your hands up!"What can I say? The ladies on my team were thelast 3-4 people standing on more than half thegames. With accuracy of Nicole and Jennifer andsticky gloves of Robyn and Amanda, these ladiesheld their own without any rest. The facebookmessage board last Thursday had a poll on whichteams will stay undefeated and people predictedthat we would lose both games after losing toStranger Danger the week before. We proved ourcritics wrong. Our game plan was to proveourselves, start both games strong, and maintainthe lead. And we did all three. There are 5 teamstied for 2nd place and we play Dodgie Style thisFriday. You guys are going down this Friday!

- James Salgado

So a tough 3rd week for You're Killin' me Balls.The skill and strategy that had kept us undefeatedand tied for 1st through the first two weeksseemed non existant against a Dodgeballs in yourMouth team that showed up with their A gameready to play. We snuck a win in here and therebut they were surgical on us. I do want to end ona positive note though, I'm giving the "LastMan/Woman Standing" Award to Rusty andKathrin for pulling off two of our wins when theywere outgunned 3 vs 1. And don't worry team Ican already feel the Mojo returning:)

- El Capitan Shaun

Team write-ups

Our first double-header of the season! Wasn't surehow this was going to pan out since I'm sure most ofyou have noticed-my team mainly consists of"seasoned players." We didn't let that stop of though.MVP of the night went to my cousin James for havingMoves Like Jagger! There were four players fromBallsagna left in the game against James...whohappened to be on the ground most of the time. Theywere throwing balls left and right, and for somereason they could not get him out! After all his rollingaround and shimmy shaking, James managed to get allfour players out! KUDOS to James. Another highlightwas when Jay slid across the turf to catch a ball so hisboy Michael wouldn't get out! For being "seasoned,"these boys have some moves! We prevailed 10-2!

Dodgie Style versus Rings Around Uranus!Shew....where should I even start? I definitely felt likeI was on the playground back in 4th grade! Thisseemed to be more of a screaming match. Bothteams were yelling at the refs, yelling at each other,and just plain yelling to the point where Carolyn andmyself were "counseled" by the refs! So for that, Iapologize! If my teammates are reading this, pleaseadhere to what I said at the beginning of the season:.....if you get out, step out of bounds.....we are notcheaters. Don't yell at the refs...they call it as they seeit. If they make a call respect it. If they miss a call, let itgo....they are the ones officiating the game, not you.We will all have to play each other at some point solet's have fun and not be that team of douchebags!Comprende?!

- Stella Solorzano

I wanted to see the Price Rivalry beginthis night, but Dianna had to call out. Iwas wondering if it was going to be goodas the Reyeseses rivalry. Snack Packbrought their A game this night. I have toadmit I was impressed for a little bit. Isaw Snyder trying to flex his guns and Jefftrying to squat into a little rolle polle sohe wouldn't be hit. All the girls on SnackPack City hovering together not trying toget hit by the ball. They took the first 3games and were looking very strong. Ourteam had to change strategy and startdominating the game. We took the next8 games. We probably needed to justwarm up a little. It was a great game onboth sides of the ball. Good Luck toSnack Pack City and hope to see you guysin the playoffs.

- Jon Reyes

Team write-ups

We are gathered here on this day to mourn the loss of a below average dodgeball team who chose to lay down on the wrong set of tracks at the wrong time (Sidenote: Is there really a good time to lay down on railroad tracks? Even if they are the right set if tracks?). It was almost as if Son's of Pitches was a penny, nobody likes those anyways, and Not Your Average Joe's was the train. You know what? That's exactly what it was! Afterwards we even picked up all the SoP pennies and showed our parents just how flat they were! They were amused but unhappy we went to the rail yard. Apparently they deemed it "off limits." Whatever that means?!? Son's of Pitches. You had your whole dodgeball life ahead of you (tear). The fact you chose to get in our crosshairs, yes trains have crosshairs, was admirable. Dumb but admirable. Believe me when I say we felt horrible for what we did...until we got to the bar. Sorry my bad, I suck at lying. We stopped feeling bad probably after the fifth game. After that point it just became a game within a game; to see just how long it took us to get all your players out. I believe out best time was 1 minute 34 seconds. Go us right? If you wish to send your condolences please feel free to send them to:

911 SoP WayOuchtown, VA 36669

There were no casualties to speak of on our side of the ball but Amanda Mason still throws the ball as if she was in a Volkswagen commercial throwing the baseball around with her Dad in the front yard. Lastly, and as if you needed to be told, Joe Equitan STILL avoids the dodgeball like a pirouetting ballerina on Broadway.That is all.

- Jamie Hopkins

This game was a little closer than the last one butthe outcome, sadly, was still the same. Through 8games, the score was tied at 4 sets a piece. ThenJoes scored two quick wins and with only a shorttime left, our last minute win was not enough totake the overall match. We lost 6-5. But we had agood time and were able to welcome back our ladycannon Caroline. She proved very valuable insystematically taking people out like a KGB sniper.Without a few of our top guys, we were still just afew weapons short. Our ladies were the MVPs of thismatch as they were consistently the last onesstanding. Our men are not blessed with quick feet(or small frames). Good work ladies!

- Will Buker

Promoting Ball Awareness...Since 2008

Team write-ups

I can only be but so creative and my team seems tohave no writing skills. So this week....It’s an Ode to Chocolate Pudding:

Flowy and delicious,That chocolate snackpack flavour,In which your spoon swirls around.Can you guess it?Add vanilla sprinkles or whipped cream,Add in what you desire,For it will always be delicious.Through its texture,The brown will drag you in,For the answer isThis. That which will entice you,Is the sheer swirly deliciousness of it.Chocolate pudding it is,For feel fabulously fallen,Into the whirlpool of dark taste,And lost within it,For I assure you, you will be addicted soon, Go taste that blast of rich enticing flavour!

- Jen PriceI don’t really remember much from thisgame. But I know it was pretty intense. Ballswere flying everywhere, people weregetting hit in the face, diamonds were flyingoff peoples ear, people were crawlingaround on the ground..all sorts of crazythings were going on. I think there was asplit second were I thought, “oh man, we’reactually going to win a game!” but thenStranger Danger shut that down real quick,thanks @ssholes! And Kelli Medlin…here’s abig F U for getting on one of my girls forplaying the game and getting you out!Hahahaha sorry, I’m still laughing aboutthat. Apparently dodgeball brings out thebeast in Kelli! Ok, that’s all I got. Good gameStranger Danger!

- Charm REYES

Team write-ups

Craigslist Missed Connections

Dodgeball Bar StarOur dodgeball teams played each other at 9pm last Friday (Clown Babies vs Long N’ Hard). You know the game. We’re sorry about that one guy that got the rules of the two leagues we’ve played in mixed up. We vow never to mention that other league’s name (Voldemort) and not to argue with SmoothOperator about one’s hands being “part of the ball” anymore. They aren’t. Noted. Speaking of rules…which leads me to laws…which leads me to legal matters…which leads me to Release Forms - we’re still waiting to sign the paperwork for your teammate’s GoProfootage of the game. Let’s cover all bases here before we end up on some balls flying at faces fetish site. Your suggestive team name has me worried. We made sure to win the Double Pitcher contest again (2-0) to impressyou…but not as much as you impressed me teaching all the white peoplehow to line dance to country songs. I hugged you after you saved mefrom Josh poking me in face. That’s probably how they communicate inWest Virginia, but it was still a special moment – the hug, not the poke.You must have a lot of those though - it looked like it made Jon’s nightwhen you humped him from behind on the dance floor, almost as muchas it made Jamie’s night abusing small children at Chilled Ponds. It reallydid look magical – the humping, not the abusing small children. I’mwilling to trade more Double Pitcher beer for dance lessons. Meet me onthe Millions of Beers dance floor when “I Play Chicken with the Train”starts….I’ll be the one in the post-Harlem Shake lobster costume.

-Balls, The Lobster

BYSC SkeeballT O U R N A M E N T

WHEN & WHEREFebruary 23 ▪ 11am - 3 pmMillions of Beers 1701 Parkview DriveChesapeake, VA 23320

The DEETS$20 per person. To register a team go to http://backyardsportsclub.com/tournaments/12286-backyard-sports-club-charity-skeeball-tournament

WHOYour team will consist of 2 players. There is no gender requirement.

SCORINGThe scoring works as follows: Players will alternate turns. At the conclusion of eachplayers turn, their score will be applied to the total score for that set. At the end ofthe set, the team with the highest cumulative score will win. The winner of the matchwill be the first team to win 3 sets.

PRIZESThis tournament will be open to the first 32 teams that register (64 people total). Thetop two teams will receive a cash prize. Tournament volunteers will also be doing50/50 raffles to offer a shot at making an instant win throw into one of the goals.Team costumes are strongly encouraged and prizes will be given to best teamcostume.

Portion of the proceeds will go to the Special Olympics Foundation

Analyze THIS!

RED? Like you should be talking! ¿Qué

coño? ¿estas ciego? That was such a bad call! You obviously

don’t know what the F you are talking about? Open your eyes BLUE!

Oh snap dude! You’ve F’d with the wrong girl!

Damn! Look at that chick in them booty

shorts!!! Ow Ow

Bwahahaha! Dude, I’d run if I

were you!

Nah, dude….I’m feelinthe chick with the knee high socks!

Oh hell no! I’m not fallin for it guys! I’ll just keep my eyes

closed before Charm kicks my ass!

Hey Red! You’re OUT!

The HookupI know I’ve featured this guy before in a previous newsletter, but I figure Jamie Hopkinsneeds all the help he can get. He’s a pretty hard ho to pimp off apparently. Maybe if Ioffer money to whoever will take one for the team and take this dude out…maybe, justmaybe he’ll finally lose his ”V” card? Yes ladies, I said “V” card. Jamie is definitely ararity. It’s hard to come by a 36 or 37 year old virgin! If you haven’t had the pleasure ofgetting to know Jamie, let me just tell you…I’m JEALOUS! Ha JK! But seriously, if youdon’t already know him….you should definitely try to strike up a conversation with him.He’s a very interesting cat! He’s always on point with his quick wit. And as much as I jokeon him, he’s a good dude, with a heart of copper! Come on….give this tall, tan for a redhead (or maybe he just has a really red face), puppy dog cute guy…. Hell I don’tknow….give him a shot!

DOUBLE Pitcher Contest

Congrats to Clown Babies AGAIN! Come on guys, we need to stepup our game, Clown Babies are no joke. Seriously, they don’t play when it comes to their ALCOHOL. No wonder ya’ll came right into this

league and fit right in. Good job Clown Babies!!!!

“Harlem Shake”

The team that has the most teammembers wearing their Harlem Shakecostume or prop while playing dodge ballwins the double pitchers! Yes, that meansyour sight may be hindered and you maybe carrying a little extra weight causingyour ball not to go as far as normal, butlet’s make this fun ya’ll! And people,please take tons of pictures since I won’tbe there! BOOOOO HOOOO!

Friday Feb. 22nd Contest

“Recycle Rumble”

The team that has the most items todonate will win the double pitchers fortheir team. Bring in your empty inkcartridges, old cell phones, digital camerasyou don’t use any more or GPS devicesthat you no longer use because you useyour phone. Items will be counted after allgames have been played. Winner will beannounced at Millions of Beers. Check outthe Advertisements page for more info.

Friday March 1st Contest

7

Charities & Sponsor Barwww.backyardsportsclub.com

Drink Specials• $2.50 Pint Domestic Drafts

• $9 Domestic Pitchers

• $3.50 Well Cocktails

Provided to Each Winning Team• 1 pizza with 2 toppings at Eagles Nest

Or

• 20 wings at Million’s of Beers

CARPE FREEZUM at the coolest event of the year!

The Polar Plunge® Winter Festival is Special Olympics Virginia’s largest fundraiser, attractingmore than 10,000 people to an otherwise deserted beachfront in February. Individuals andteams, alongside our athletes and thousands of community members, experienceheartwarming and bone chilling extremes as they take the plunge into the icy Atlantic Oceanin the height of winter!

About Special Olympics

Special Olympics Virginia is a year-round program of sports training and athletic competitionfor children and adults with intellectual disabilities. We serve more than 10,000 athletesthroughout the Commonwealth. Thanks to a statewide volunteer network of more than20,000 and the support of generous partners throughout Virginia, athletes pay nothing toparticipate. And with nearly 2,000 events annually, including seven state-level competitionsand numerous extreme fundraisers like the Polar Plunge, we invite everyone to join us inour mission to open hearts and change minds about people with intellectual disabilities.

Beautiful Faces of Dodgeball

Chesapeake, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Hampton Roads Crossfire League