The Art Of Procrastination

Beth Harvey

The key to procrastinating is starting the day off right… late. Very late.

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Once you decide to finally roll out of your bed, you should take some time to relax and slowly accli-

mate yourself to being awake. This can be shocking at first.

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Let your mind slowly begin functioning by watching some television,

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...maybe some Law & Order.

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Make sure to check Facebook regularly; someone might update you on the weather or their most re-

cent and tragic breakup.

5

Compose a song, maybe even about the project you are attempting to avoid.

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Balance your check book; your mother will be impressed and forget to hound you about the proj-

ect you have due.

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Text your friends and see if they started their project yet.

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When they tell you they have been done with their project for two weeks, drive over to visit so you can see what the project actually is and get some ideas

for your own.

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When you come home to work on your project, make sure your environment is completely cleaned so there is no mess to distract you from focusing on your work, even if you have to do the last two

months worth of laundry.

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After you clean and do all the laundry that was lay-ing around, try all the clean clothes on to make sure

they still fit as they did before you washed them. Then, choose an appropriate outfit to wear so you

can start your project.

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Choose an athletic outfit so you can get a quick workout in before starting.

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Be sure to take your dog on your run with you so he does not bother you or try to play while you are

trying to work.

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But, if you did not check Facebook recently, you might not have seen that it is currently raining out-

side… so you can’t run.

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If you find yourself faced with this dilemma, try playing a game with your pup, like tug-of-war.

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Play this game for a while.

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If you really wish to excel at procrastinating, take the extra step and take a few hours to work with

your dog and teach him new tricks.

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Teach him how to sit and stay so he does not nudge you to pet him while you are working. If he begins to nudge you, you will be inclined to pet him and

lose your train of thought.

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Next, teach him the command “leave it”. You will find this command helpful when you drop your

flash drive and he no longer has the urge to swipe it and run from you, playing keep away.

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Next, teach him how to high five you so when you finish your project in the nick of time, he can

congratulate you.

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Then, take a few hours to sit in your favorite chair to unwind from the long day you had.

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At this point, you might be ready to read the direc-tions of the project due in a few days.

*If you still find yourself incapable of starting your project, repeat this sequence

tomorrow and give yourself the night off.

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