The Art of Forgiveness    

 

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Matthew 18:21-22 (New Century Version) 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when my fellow believer sins against me, how many times must I forgive him? Should I forgive him as many as seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive him more than seven times. You must forgive him even if he wrongs you seventy times seven.” Objective: Identify the causes and effects of unforgiveness, and teach methods of leading to forgiveness. Introduction

I. Definitions:

a. Forgiveness – to give up resentment of or claim to requital for; to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong): to stop blaming (someone).

b. Healing – to make sound or whole; to cause (an undesirable condition) to be overcome; to patch up (a breach or division); to restore to original purity or integrity

c. Hurt – inflicted with physical pain; caused emotional pain or

anguish; suffered pain or grief; to cause pain or injury to (yourself, someone else, or a part of your body).

d. Lies – intentional untrue statements meant to deceive; false or

misleading impressions; something that misleads or deceives.

e. Jealousy – an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has; an unhappy or angry feeling caused by the belief that someone you love (such as your husband or wife) likes or is liked by someone else.

f. Envy – a painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed

by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.

g. Insecurity – not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well; nervous and uncomfortable; not certain to continue or be successful for a long time.

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II. Causes of Unforgiveness

a. Hurt

i. Ephesians 4:31-32 “Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never

shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. 32Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.

b. Lies

i. Colossians 3:9-10 “Do not lie to each other. You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before. 10 You have begun to live the new life, in which you are being made new and are becoming like the One who made you. This new life brings you the true knowledge of GOD.”

c. Jealousy

i. James 3:16 “Where jealousy and selfishness are, there will be confusion and every kind of evil.”

d. Envy

i. Galatians 5:19-21 “The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: being sexually unfaithful, not being pure, taking part in sexual sins, 20 worshiping gods, doing witchcraft, hating, making trouble, being jealous, being angry, being selfish, making people angry with each other, causing divisions among people, 21 feeling envy, being drunk, having wild and wasteful parties, and doing other things like these. I warn you now as I warned you before: Those who do these things will not inherit GOD’s kingdom.”

e. Insecurity

i. Matthew 6:19-21 “Don’t store treasures for yourselves here on earth where moths and rust will destroy them and thieves can break in and steal them. 20But store your treasures in heaven where they cannot be destroyed by moths or rust and where thieves cannot break in and steal them. 21Your heart will be where your treasure is.”

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III. Results of Unforgiveness

a. GOD will not forgive our sins.

i. Matthew 6:15 “But if you don’t forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.”

ii. We must rely on GOD’s Mercy (not giving us what we DO deserve), instead of living in GOD’s Grace (special favor).

b. We are guilty of being judgmental.

i. Matthew 7:1-2 “Don’t judge others, or you will be judged.

2 You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.”

ii. We must forgive (release) others from their violations of us, or others will not release (forgive) us of our violations of them.

c. We prohibit our prayers from being answered by GOD.

i. Mark 11:24-25 “ So I tell you to believe that you have

received the things you ask for in prayer, and God will give them to you. 25 When you are praying, if you are angry with someone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins.”

ii. The numerous prayers that we believe GOD to answer on our behalf are being stopped due to our unforgiveness.

d. We cause negativity (bitterness) to be attracted to us.

i. Matthew 7:12 “Do to others what you want them to do to

you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets.”

ii. Refusing to forgive is a negative spirit that emits negativity energy. Unforgiveness pulls negativity into our place of lives.

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e. We contaminate ourselves, causing hurt and unhappiness to others.

i. Hebrews 12:15 “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” – NLT

ii. Our unwillingness to forgive results in our actions and behaviors injuring those who did not offend/violate us.

f. We give the devil (Satan) authority over our lives and futures.

i. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 “ If you forgive someone, I also

forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if I had anything to forgive—I forgave it for you, as if Christ were with me. 11 I did this so that Satan would not win anything from us, because we know very well what Satan’s plans are.”

ii. Our forgiveness not only releases our blessings, but it also strikes a blow to the devil’s intentions for messing up your life.

g. We will be denied admittance to Eternal Life/Heaven with GOD.

i. Matthew 7:21 “Not all those who say ‘You are our Lord’ will

enter the kingdom of heaven. The only people who will enter the kingdom of heaven are those who do what my Father in heaven wants.”

ii. Forgiveness is what GOD Wants. Our inability or unwillingness to forgive, regardless of the violation, goes against what GOD Wants, hence, denying us Eternal Glory.

h. We become unproductive in life and in The Eyesight of GOD.

i. Matthew 7:18-19 “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and

a bad tree cannot produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.”

ii. Unforgiveness hinders our vitality (ability to be successful) and our value (ability to be useful).

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IV. Reasons for Unforgiveness

a. Fear – to be afraid of someone or something that is likely to be dangerous, painful or life threatening.

i. 2 Timothy 1:7 “God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.”

ii. The overpowering enemy of fear is FAITH! The best and easiest way to forgive is to believe opposite of your fears.

b. Animosity – to possess strong anger, dislike, hatred or hostility

towards someone or something.

i. Ephesians 4:26 “When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day.”

ii. Learn to dislike or hate the action, behavior or sin, but to also FORGIVE the person guilty of it. The intentions of others should not dictate your smiles or frowns; your joys or pains; your successes or failures. FORGIVE.

c. Pride – the feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from

one’s own achievements, qualities or skills.

i. Proverbs 16:18 “Pride leads to destruction; a proud attitude brings ruin.”

ii. Accept the reality that knowing the correct way, and ignoring it has resulted in a mistake. Repent, forgive and move on. Do not allow pride to cause further damage.

d. Revenge – the action of inflicting hurt or harm upon someone for

an injury or wrong suffered at his or her hands.

i. Romans 12:19 “My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: ‘I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,’ says the Lord.”

ii. Repaying evil for evil will not change the original pain caused by the betrayal, deceit (lie) or hurt. It will only further detach the blessings and peace of GOD from your life.

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e. Ignorance – the lack of knowledge or information.

i. Romans 11:25 “I want you to understand this secret, brothers and sisters, so you will understand that you do not know everything: Part of Israel has been made stubborn, but that will change when many who are not Jews have come to God.”

ii. Ignorance like unforgiveness is a pandemic that knows no culture, economic or educational status, gender or race. The only cure for it is to acknowledge what is unknown and LEARN! Ignorance + Learning = Forgiveness

f. Stupidity – the behavior that shows a lack of good, common sense or judgment; displaying a not intelligent quality; a lacking of the ability to learn and understand things.

i. Proverbs 12:1 “Anyone who loves learning accepts correction, but a person who hates being corrected is stupid.”

ii. Accepting the choice NOT to forgive, is also informing others of our lack of intelligence or poor judgment. Forgiving acknowledges our strength, but also corrects their weakness.

g. Ungodliness – to be irreligious, immoral or not reverencing GOD;

not believing or respecting GOD; immoral or evil.

i. Psalm 1:4-6 “But wicked people are not like that. They are like chaff that the wind blows away. 5 So the wicked will not escape God’s punishment. Sinners will not worship with God’s people. 6 This is because the Lord takes care of his people, but the wicked will be destroyed.”

ii. Any unforgiveness that you hold on to marks you as disobedient to GOD, or ungodly/wicked, and it will destroy you.