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06/11/2014 Ten easy steps to happier living | Life and style | theguardian.com

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Ten easy steps to happierlivingTake control of your own wellbeing with these10 keys to happier living. Thinkpositively, look

after your body, help others

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Mark Williamson

heguardian.com, Monday 3 November 2014 06.00 GMT

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Caring for someone else can boost your happiness. Photograph: Rex

Features

Were constantly bombarded with messages about

what makes for a good life. Advertisers tell us it comes

from owning and consuming their products. The media

associate it with wealth, beauty or fame. And politicians

claim that nothing matters more than growing the

economy. But do any of these things really bring lasting

happiness?

For thousands of years, people have looked to

philosophy, religion and grandmotherly wisdom for

answers to such questions. But in recent decades this

ancient wisdom has been tested by scientific research.

Life and style

Health & wellbeing

Society

Mental health

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Samaritans Radaranalyses Twitterto identify users atrisk for suicideWeb appidentifies phrasesand keywords thatmay indicatesomeone is'struggling tocope' and alertsfriends. By StuartDredge

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omen

Scientists have found that although our genes and

circumstances matter, a huge proportion of the

variations in happiness between us come from our

choices and activities. So although we may not be able

to change our inherited characteristics or the

circumstances in which we find ourselves, we still have

the power to change how happy we are by the way

we approach our lives.

Action for Happinesshas identified 10 keys to happier

living, based on an extensive review of the latest

research about what really helps people flourish. These

are not 10 commandments, because each of us is

unique and what works for one of us may not for

someone else. They are simply 10 areas that tend to

make a big difference to peoples happiness - and

crucially they are all areas that are within our control.

1. Do things for others

Caring about others is fundamental to our happiness.Helping other people is not only good for them; its

good for us too. It makes us happier and can help to

improve our health. Giving also creates stronger

connections between people and helps to build a

happier society for everyone. Its not all about money -

we can also give our time, ideas and energy. So if you

want to feel good, do good.

Action ideas

Do three extra acts of kindness today. Offer to help,give away your change, pay a compliment, or make

someone smile.

Reach out to help someone whos struggling. Give

them a call or offer your support. Let them know you

care.

2. Connect with people

Our relationships with other people are the most

important thing for our happiness. People with strong

relationships are happier, healthier and live longer. Ourclose relationships with family and friends provide love,

meaning, support and increase our feelings of self-

worth. Our broader social networks bring a sense of

belonging. So its vital that we take action to strengthen

our relationships and make new connections.

Action ideas

Make more time for the people who matter. Chat with

a loved one or friend, call your parents or play with the

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kids.

Make three extra connections today. Stop to chat in

the shop, wave at a neighbour, learn the name of

someone new.

3. Take care of your body

Our body and mind are connected. Being active makes

us happier as well as healthier. It instantly improves ourmood and can even lift us out of depression. We dont

all have to run marathons - there are simple things we

can do to be more active each day. We can also boost

our wellbeing by spending time outdoors, eating

healthily, unplugging from technology and getting

enough sleep.

Regular exercise can lift you out of depression, but even if youre

healthy a burst of activity will boost your mood.

Action ideas

Be more active today. Get off the bus a stop early,

take the stairs, turn off the TV, go for a walk anything

that gets you moving.

Eat nutritious food, drink more water, catch up on

sleep. Notice which healthy actions lift your mood and

do more of them.

4. Notice the world around you

Have you ever felt there must be more to life? Good

news there is. And its right here in front of us. We

just need to stop and take notice. Learning to be more

mindful and aware does wonders for our wellbeing,

whether its on our walk to work, in the way we eat or in

our relationships. It helps us get in tune with our

feelings and stops us dwelling on the past or worrying

about the future.

Action ideas

Give yourself a bit of head space. At least once a day,

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stop and take five minutes to just breathe and be in the

moment.

Notice and appreciate good things around you every

day, big or small. Trees, birdsong, the smell of coffee,

laughter perhaps?

5. Keep learning

Learning affects our wellbeing in lots of positive ways. Itexposes us to new ideas and helps us stay curious and

engaged. It also gives us a sense of accomplishment

and helps boost our self-confidence and resilience.

There are many ways to learn new things throughout

our lives, not just through formal qualifications. We can

share a skill with friends, join a club, learn to sing, play

a new sport and so much more.

Action ideas

Do something for the first time today. Sample sushi,

try a new route, read a different newspaper or visit a

local place of interest.

Learn a new skill, however small. A first aid

technique or a new feature on your phone, perhaps.

Cook a new meal or use a new word.

6. Have goals to look forward to

Feeling good about the future is really important for our

happiness. We all need goals to motivate us and these

have to be challenging enough to excite us, but alsoachievable. If we try to attempt the impossible, this

creates unnecessary stress. Choosing meaningful but

realistic goals gives our lives direction and brings a

sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when we

achieve them.

Action ideas

Take the first step. Think of a goal youre aiming for

and do one thing to get started. Make a call, fill in that

form, tell others.

Share your dreams. Tell three people about an

aspiration that is really important to you this year and

listen to theirs too.

7. Find ways to bounce back

All of us have times of stress, loss, failure or trauma in

our lives. How we respond to these events has a big

impact on our wellbeing. We often cannot choose what

happens to us, but we can choose how we react to
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what happens. In practice its not always easy, but one

of the most exciting findings from recent research is

that resilience, like many other life skills, can be

learned.

Action ideas

Ask for help today. Confide in a friend, talk to an

expert, reach out to a colleague, ask a neighbour to lend

a hand.

When something is troubling you, do something you

really enjoy. Shift your mood and bring a new

perspective on the problem.

8. Take a positive approach

Positive emotions like joy, gratitude, contentment,

inspiration and pride dont just feel good when we

experience them. They also help us perform better,

broaden our perception, increase our resilience and

improve our physical health. So although we need to be

realistic about lifes ups and downs, it helps to focus on

the good aspects of any situation the glass half full

rather than the glass half empty.

Action ideas

Do something that you know will make you feel

good. Listen to music, watch something funny, get

outside or call an old friend.

Try to smile and say something positive or

constructive every time you walk into a room. Notice

the reaction you get.

9. Be comfortable with who you are

Nobodys perfect. But so often we compare a negative

view of ourselves with an unrealistic view of other

people. Dwelling on our flaws what were not rather

than what weve got makes it much harder to be

happy. Learning to accept ourselves, warts and all, and

being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong

increases our enjoyment of life, our resilience and ourwellbeing. It also helps us accept others as they are.


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Ask a friend what they think your good points are youll be surprised

at the lift it will give you.

Action ideas

Ask a trusted friend or colleague to tell you what they

think your real strengths are. Try to make more use of

these.

Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. See your

mistakes as opportunities to learn. Notice things you do

well, however small.

10. Be part of something bigger

People who have meaning and purpose in their lives

are happier, feel more in control and get more out of

what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety

and depression. But where do we find meaning and

purpose? It might come from doing a job that makes a

difference, our religious or spiritual beliefs, or our

family. The answers vary for each of us but they allinvolve being connected to something bigger than

ourselves.

Action ideas

Feel part of something bigger. Spend time with

children, visit an inspiring location, gaze at the stars or

oin a club.

Be more charitable. Give others your time, offer to

help neighbours or friends, consider giving blood or

volunteering.

Mark Williamson is director ofAction for Happiness. For

more about the 10 keys to happier living, check out the

10 keys guidebookand take the happy habits quiz

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