TEAM BUILDING… · Write down what you hear the people say and what you see them do. ... to involve multiple people from different ... What do they look like? Who do you get along

T E A M B U I L D I N G

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“WE is the key between you and me.” That may be the cheesiest

line you have ever read. But… when you think about it, everything is

better with a little cheese anyway, right?. Cheeseburgers, cheese

fries, and grilled cheese-- all better with cheese. And, if you are

a cheese lover, it’s actually a decent analogy-- the world “tastes”

better with a little teamwork.

The world can be a frustrating place to live. Sometimes we feel handcuffed

because we can’t do something. Sometimes we feel frustrated because

we would like to be someone else. We may feel blocked from success.

We may feel trapped with no way out.

This is why this line is so important, “WE is the key between you and me.”

When we learn to listen to another person, understand their feelings and

understand what they are good at, we can work together. “WE” becomes

the key that unlocks our handcuffs or opens the door to success and to

feeling like we belong in a community.

You are here today because you want to affect the next generation of

young people. So, here is the goal of the day: by the time you complete

this training, you will grasp the concept of “WE is the Key Between You and

Me” for yourself with enough proficiency to be able to explain it to other

people. You will gain skills that will help you confidently mentor a group

of people. You will be able to implement a method of teaching using an

experience in order to connect an individual person’s morals to his or her

daily life. And you will have a working knowledge of all the games we will

use during the program.

It is important for our emotional, social, and spiritual health to always be

“sandwiched” in mentoring roles. We should always pursue mentorship for

ourselves, and always seek out opportunities to mentor those around us.

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What is this event going to look like?

ACTIVE EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING

When we talk about experiential learning, we mean that we’re going to

play team-building style games, and then debrief what we learn from

the metaphor of the game. Experiential learning is incredibly powerful.

It incorporates all the parts of a person—mind, body, heart, and social

factors. Unlike traditional forms of learning that “splash” information on

the mind, experiential learning “dunks” the whole self into an interactive

form of learning.

A LARGE GROUP PROGRAM

When a community shares an experience, they have a common language—

anyone in the group can talk with anyone else in the group about their

experience. This means teachers can take what the group learned and talk

about it in classes. Students can talk about their experience with their friends

over lunch. Learning and accountability is greater when a topic is learned by

a large group.

SMALL GROUP MENTORING

By breaking the large group down into smaller groups, each student

receives individual attention. Students gain a sense of comradery. Names can

be used and students feel less intimidated to participate. Group members

have the opportunity to share perspectives and learn more about each

other’s individual stories.

This is where you come in. Your role today is to be a group mentor.

What is a mentor?

A mentor is a person or friend who guides a less experienced person by building

trust and modeling positive behaviors. An effective mentor understands that

his or her role is to be dependable, engaged, authentic, and tuned into the

needs of the mentee. The key to being a good mentor is being a good listener.

Bump Day

There is an anxiety that comes over many people when they are asked to be a

mentor. But let’s not get crazy. The goal of the day is not necessarily to transform

a person in a single day. It’s simply to bump someone in your group.

HELP SOMEONE ELSE

TELL SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR CHANGE

KEEP A CHANGE

FIND A MENTOR

MAKE A CHANGE

MAKE A FRIEND

PLAN TO CHANGE

THINK ABOUT CHANGING

THINK ABOUT ACTIONS

HATE PEOPLE LESS

HATE PEOPLE/DO BAD THINGS

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LECTURE

BOREDOM

CONTROLLABLE

CHAOS

MEMORABLE

EXPERIENCE

The Flux

You may notice that it is hard to keep the right balance between maintaining

control of a group and boring them out of their minds. Finding this balance is

the key to memory retention. Lecture is controllable, but will eventually lead to

boredom. Experiential learning is memorable, but can lead to chaos. The key is to

switch from one to the other as you see boredom or chaos creeping in.

Method

INSTRUCTIONS FOR EACH GAME

Do it first - there will be a set of instructions for you. Just play the game! Have

fun! Write down what you hear the people say and what you see them do.

Draw it out - there will be a set of questions for each game. Read each question

first, understand it for yourself, and then ask it in your own words.

Drive it home - this is your chance to drive home the point of the game. A

metaphor for each game has been written out for you to use, but you are

not required to use this metaphor if something more applicable to your

specific group comes up during the “Draw it out” section. The questions are

there as a tool for your use.

BEST QUESTIONS

What? The goal is to find out from the group’s perspective, what actually

happened during this game. When asking these questions, make sure

to involve multiple people from different perspectives - the winner, the

loser, and the person who stayed detached from the game should all

answer this question.

So what? The goal is to find out why it matters how each individual acted

during the game. Draw out connections between students’ actions during the

game and actions they take in their everyday lives. “Do you always get mad

when things don’t go your way, or is this a one time thing?”

Now what? The goal is to see the steps necessary to change. A great question

would be, “How would you like to respond differently the next time you face a

situation like this?” The goal as the leader is to ask questions that will take them

somewhere they would not go themselves.

Mentor tips

CREATE TRUST

People tend to be more genuine and open if they see someone be honest

and open. It is very helpful to take some time at some point to tell a genuine

story about yourself. The story is not meant to get you attention or take the

focus away from the people in your group, it’s a tool used to help create an

atmosphere of trust and openness. The more genuine you are, the more

genuine people will be in return.

CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT

Establish your authority at the beginning of the day. Do this by using a

commanding voice to call the group to order and appearing you know what

you’re doing (we didn’t say you need to feel like you know what you’re doing…

just appear that way!)

TWO PERSON KNEE TO KNEE

Instruct your group to find a partner,

Have each pair face each other with their knees touching.

Have them touch hands, pinkies, or fists.

Require them to make unbroken eye contact for 60 seconds

Have one person tell the other person about themselves. Here are some

conversation options:

Describe every person in your family. What do they look like? Who do you get

along with best and why?

What would you like to be when you grow up?

Name one thing you have hated about today so far. Name two things you like

so far. Name one thing you look forward to about the rest of the day.

Would you rather have fingers the size of legs or legs the size of fingers

and why?

Have them report back what they learned about the other person.

Ask them whether it was more difficult to be the speaker or the listener and why.

This game helps break down social barriers, and it can encourage those students

who haven’t spoken all day to speak up.

NOTES

Control the environment. A good circle where everyone can make eye contact

is critical to a group’s success. Make sure that the group is safe. People are

welcome to disagree, but personal attacks are unacceptable.

CREATE CONVERSATION

Ask probing, open-ended questions. Never ask yes or no questions unless there

is a follow-up question like “why?”

Speak less; listen more. The purpose of the debrief time is to allow the group

to “uncover the truth” rather than being taught a lesson. The barometer for

this is that you should only be talking 20% of the time, and your group should

be talking 80% of the time. Silence is the sound of the gears in peoples’ heads

spinning.

Be patient. This is the most difficult job of the facilitator. Let the group struggle.

Allowing them to go through the process is critical. Not completing an activity

may be more valuable than succeeding. There may be more learning happening

in a group sitting in silence than in a group that talks the whole time.

Some groups are tough

Even after following all the mentor tips, it can be difficult to get conversation

going in some groups. Here are two techniques you can use to get the

conversation rolling:

GROUPS OF FOUR

Break your group into groups of four:

Have your group answer these questions and report back to you what they find

What’s your name?

What is one thing that is unique about you?

What is one thing you all have in common? (Nothing obvious like “we’re all

boys.” Find something that you think is totally unique about your group!)

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felt in these games? How did you get through it?

What do you think the paper represents for you?

Now what? How will you change, knowing what you now know?

Today is going to require a lot of teamwork and creativity. Are you willing

to help the group succeed? What abilities do you bring to the group?

Drive it Home:

The goal is to contrast what is impossible verses what is possible and to

name what is similar verses what is different. When we were successful,

we were allowed to work together, to communicate, and to be creative.

Point out that those are often the keys to success. Help them connect the

piece of paper and the tarp with things that feel impossible today (grades,

relationships with family members, success, etc.)

NOTES

Impossible Game

Do it First:

1st Half: Give everyone a piece of paper.

Say, “How many of you think you can jump over this piece of paper? Here

is the stipulation: you have to hold onto your toes. No teamwork and no

creativity allowed.”

Draw it Out:

What? Why did you do what you did? How did it make you feel?

Wait until someone admits that it’s impossible. Let a little frustration set-in.

Ask questions like, “why can’t you do it?”

So what? Describe another time something like this happened to you.

How does it make you feel to not be able to do it?

This is a purposefully impossible game.

What they are describing is the feeling of impossibility. Ask them

what feeling words they would put on it. Perhaps they use words like

“frustrating,” “resignation,” “helpless,” and “embarrassing”. Use whatever

word they choose as the “feeling of impossible”.

Do it Again:

2nd Half: Lay out a large tarp and call it “a huge sheet of paper.”

Say, “The goal of this game is to get every teammate across the piece

of paper without touching it while they hold onto their toes. Once a

teammate is across, they can no longer touch the sheet of paper. You

are welcome to use any tools and any strategy. Every team member

must get across.”

Draw it Out:


What are some of the similarities between the the first game and the

second game? What are some of the differences?

Why did the second game work better?


Describe another time where you felt the same sort of feelings that you

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Middle Name Game

Do it First:

Have participants sit in a circle.

Give each person an index card.

Say: “Write down your ‘ideal middle name.’ It can be anything you want it to

be. It can be funny, serious, something you wished everyone knew about

you, or your actual middle name. Whatever you want (example: Bobby

“Action” Jackson).”

Have every person share their name.

This game teaches you a little bit about each person, and it gives you

permission to use their names.

Draw it Out:


Why did you choose this name? Who were you trying to impress or make

laugh? Yourself, your friends, me, someone who is not here?

We all listened to someone’s voice when we picked out name. Whose

voice did you listen to when picking?

What does this name tell us about you?

Do you think this name is closer to the real you than the name your parents

gave you?


Have you ever wanted to reinvent yourself? What would you change?


What role do you see yourself taking in this group?

Today, how can we as a group be encouraging voices to each other?

Drive it Home:

Each of you is unique. Some of you tried to make us laugh, and we like you

for it. Some of you told us a story about yourself. I’m so glad you are unique,

and I am glad you are here today.

Notes:


If you had another chance at this, what would you do differently?

Drive it Home:

This game does several important things. It helps people get comfortable

with each other. It forces people to enter each other’s personal space

and cope with it in a successful way. It also takes a relatively simple

task and builds until something complex is accomplished (requiring

teamwork, spacial reasoning, social barrier breaking).

Point out that this game represents much of what happens in school-- we

take a very simple set of skills and build on it until it becomes something very

complex. Often, we can’t overcome the complex thing without learning

the steps in the middle. Point out that many of the things they did to cope

with this game can translate to other areas of their lives (communication,

persistence, overcoming awkwardness, asking questions, etc.)

NOTES

Chopsticks

Do it First:

Show every person in the group how to create the “chopsticks” with

your hands.

Say, ”Put your hands together palm to palm (without interlacing fingers).

Bend your middle fingers so that only your middle fingers interlace.

Say, “You should have the “chopsticks” (middle fingers) sticking out on both

hands with all the other fingers locked in place. Now, you can wiggle the

chopsticks.

Leader Hint: When your middle fingers are bent, they stick straight out

perpendicular to the rest of your hands. One of your middle fingers is

closer to your face than the other. Use that hand and rotate the tips of

your fingers away from your face until all your fingers on one hand are

pointed in the opposite direction of the fingers on the other hand.

Once every person has figured this out, have them partner up.

Have them place both of their hands on their partner’s hands, and attempt

to do the same thing with both of their “partnered hands.”

After each set of partners accomplishes this, have the whole group put

their hands on the person next to them’s hands (forming a circle of hands

to hands)

Challenge the whole group to perform this task in under one minute.

Draw it Out:


Describe what happened at the beginning when you were asked to do the

task alone. Was it easy or hard? Why?

Who did you choose as your partner and why?

Did you feel awkward? Describe what you did (or weren’t able to do) to

get over that?

How do you think the people around you felt during that game?


Have you ever been asked to do something else that made you feel the

same way?

Have you ever helped someone else “get over” an awkward feeling? What

was that situation like?

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Leaning Tower of Feetza

Do it First:

Say, “This is a competitive game between small groups. The goal is to

build the tallest tower using only your shoes. They cannot be attached

to you body. You can use nothing but shoes to build it. At the end of

the time, someone will come around and measure them and see which

group built the tallest tower.”

Draw it Out:


What kinds of “barriers” did you have to overcome to be successful?

Many people feel awkward about taking off their shoes. Did you? Why or

why not?

Did your group influence how you felt about taking off your shoes? Do

you think other people might have been affected by the group?

How did the differences or similarities on the team make you better or

worse at the game? How can you help each other succeed next time?


What do you think the shoes could represent?

Can you describe another situation that made you feel the same way you

felt today about taking your shoes off?

What do you think made other groups more or less successful than this

group at this game?


If you played again, would your group win? Why or why not? What can you

learn from your answer to this question?

Drive it Home:

For many people, taking off shoes is an extremely awkward thing. Some

groups are really resistant to this, and others are not--and this tells you a

lot about the people in your group. The shoes can represent many other

inhibitions (speaking in public, telling someone you are upset at them,

being afraid to ask for help). Help the group to see the connection--

and then reflect what they did to work through it. For many people, feeling the

acceptance of other people really helps them work through their inhibitions. The

“peer pressure” can be helpful. Understanding how others feel can help us be

better teamates. Remember, “WE is the key.

NOTES

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Notes:Lost and Found

Do it First:

Instruct each group to come up with its own “group sound.”

Split the groups up and spread out away from their group mates. Hand

each person a bandana or blindfold. encourage the groups to find each

other using only their “group sounds.”

Note: think “safety” when playing this game! Have all group leaders look

out for potholes, trees, out-of-control people, and other things that

could cause injury.

Draw it Out:


What did it feel like to be blind folded?

How did you end up finding your group?

What was it like to be the last person to find the group?


Have you ever felt “blinded” in another situation? How did you find

your way?

What are some of the things that cause people your age to feel “blinded?”

Have you ever helped someone else who was “blind” find their way?


How might you respond the next time you feel “blind?”

Drive it Home:

This game can create significant anxiety for some people.The feeling of

being “lost” or “blind” can communicate a feeling that is all too common

among young people. The blindfold itself can be a great metaphor. Bad

peer influence, high amounts of social pressure to succeed, romantic

relationships can all cause us to be “blinded” to the best path. Everyone at

some point is blinded, so the question is--how do we deal with it? How

did we find our group? Persistence, good listening, relying on others, etc.

can all be powerful learning lessons.

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Tulip Traverse and Rubber Band Relay

Do it First:

Give every person a rubber band and have them find a partner. This is a

competition between the two of them. Have them take the rubber band

(size 32 seems to work best)

Prepare the group by explaining “we have built trust, up to this point and

we’re going to continue to trust them with a new tool-- the rubber band.

If anyone misuses the rubber band, we’re going to ask them to sit out for

the rest of the game… but don’t worry-- if we respect each other, we’re

going to have a lot of fun with this rubber band!

Stretch it out a bit and put it over their head so that it is resting on their

upper lip under their nose and below their ears.

Say, “The goal is to move it from your upper lip to your lower lips using

only your face to do it.”

Do it Again:

The rubber band relay requires the group to be split into two teams. Each

side forms a line (it does not have to be a straight line.) At one end of the

line stands a leader. At the other end of the line is an empty water bottle on

a stool or chair and someone to be the judge. Say, “The goal is to send a

message from the start of the line to the end of the line using your rubber

bands only. (You must shoot in the back--no head or extremity shots!)”

Everyone must close their eyes and wait until they feel the message being

sent! The first team to knock down the bottle with the rubber band wins!

Draw it Out:


What was it like to have the rubber band on your face? Was it fun to watch

other people? Why do you think that is?

Would you agree or disagree with this sentence: Some may feel excited to

shoot someone with the rubber band, but at the same time they are afraid

of being shot themselves. Why?


What do you think the rubber band could represent? What could the

bottle represent?

What did you have to do to make your team succeed? What made that hard

or easy?


What would you do different next time?

Drive it Home:

These two games both have a lot to do with fear. Some may feel excited

to “shoot someone with the rubber band,” (Both literally and figuratively)

but at the same time they are afraid of being “shot themselves.” In order to

succeed, you have to be considerate and courageous for the sake of the

people around you.

NOTES

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Turn Over a New Leaf

Do it First:

Lay a sheet flat on the ground.

Have everyone stand on the sheet.

Say: “Without anyone stepping off the sheet, turn it over. If anyone steps

off, you start over.”

Draw it Out:


Did you think it was going to be possible or impossible when you first

heard the instructions? How did that affect the way you played?

Do you like being touched or hate it? How do you think that affected the

way you played?

How do you think the people around you felt? How did you help them

cope with these feelings?

Do you think you were part of the solution, or part of the problem? Why?


What do you think the sheet might represent? What past decisions do you

want to “turn over” in your life?


Have you ever tried to “change something” in the past, but obstacles got in

the way? What did you do then to deal with it? What will you do next time?

Drive it Home:

The sheet can represent anything a student wants it to represent--something

difficult to change and overcome (a bad habit, a difficult relationship, a choice

they made in the past, a grade, a sport they chose to play or not to play, etc.)

The people on the sheet can represent the barriers in the way of making a

change, or they can represent people who are trying to help them make a

change. What kinds of people do you want on your sheet? How can we help

each other “turn the leaf over”?

Notes:

Whether you want to be or not, you are a leader and a follower. How can

people take what they learn about their leadership “style” in this game and use

it in other leadership situations?

NOTES

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Leadership Dance

Do it First:

Have participants stand in a circle in their groups.

Choose one volunteer.

Say, “When the music begins, our volunteer will start to dance. Everyone

copies exactly what the leader is doing. When the music changes, the

leadership changes to the next person in the circle and the game continues.”

Draw it Out:


Were you the kind of leader others could easily follow?

What kind of follower were you-- did you enjoy yourself when you weren’t

leading? Why or why not?

What role did the music play? What songs were easier to dance to? How

do you deal with the songs you don’t know as well?

Was dancing fun or awkward? Or something else?

Was it harder to lead or follow?


Have you ever been in another situation where you hand to “lead people

in a dance”? What was the “dance” like? What was similar and what was

different about this game?


How would you take what you learn from this game and use it next time

you are asked to lead people?

Drive it Home:

This game is about leadership. Some people because of akwardness or

fear get in the center and fold their arms and don’t know what to do. This

affects the whole group. Other people get in the center and show boat--

but no one can follow their lead because it is too complex. The instructions

were to help others follow the dance. What did the best leaders do well?

How can you coach those who struggled (without insulting their inability

to dance. I know I can’t dance worth a bean!)

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Roped In

Do it First:

Have participants stand in a circle with everyone holding onto the rope

with two hands.

Tell the group to take one step toward the center.

Have the entire group lean back gently until there is tension on the rope circle

and the entire group is balanced

Add difficulty--ask the group to bend their knees and stand back up-- the “Bob.”

Add more difficulty—have one participant bend their knees, then have the person

on their right bend their knees, move the knee bending around the circle. When

the knee bending reaches the first person again, he stands back up, the person on

his right stands back up, and so on in a wave fashion-- the “Wave.”

Do it More:

Begin with a group holding a rope, hands upward, and elbows straight, with

no slack in the circle.

The group tosses this “pizza” into the air, at least one foot above their hands,

and then everyone in the group catches the circle as it drops back down

without anyone moving their feet.

To add to the challenge, ultimate pizza chefs can spin their pizza dough in the

air—this means tossing the pizza into the air and having the knot come back

down at least two person to the right or left of where it was launched.

Draw it Out:


What caused your group to fall down at the beginning?

What happened is someone pulled too hard or didn’t “pull their weight?”


Have you ever been in another situation where you felt like someone didn’t

“pull their weight?” Can you describe it? How did you respond? Did your

response help or hurt the situation?


Have you ever been one of those people who didn’t “pull their weight?” How

did it affect the people around you? Would you change anything about that situation?

Why or why not?

Drive it Home:

The rope can easily represent the relational connection between people.

Our actions always affect the people around me. Someone may shout at

a teacher, and it seems like it will only affect the teacher, but it also affects

everyone else in the classroom, the principal, parents, and others. If you

don’t do your portion of a group project or work hard at practice, the

group and team are affected along with the coach, the fans, and future

colleges. Every choice we make affects the people around us. We need to

take that responsibility seriously.

NOTES

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Evolution of Rock, Paper, Scissors

Do it First:

Say, “This games is just for fun! This is a game of rock-paper-scissors… but

weirder! You start off as an egg. If you win, you become a chicken. Chickens

can only play chickens, and eggs can only play eggs. If you lose, you go back

down a level. If you’re a chicken and you win, you become a crow. If you win

as a crow, you become an eagle. If your win as an eagle, you become royalty.

Royalty cannot go back down. As a group, your goal is to all become royalty

within 5 minutes.”

Play it again without allowing anyone to use words— only noises and actions.

Draw it Out


What were the keys to success in this game? How did the whole group work

together?

How did your feelings change from the beginning to the end of the game?

How did all the noise help or hurt you as you attempted to become royalty?

Did it feel like the whole group was working together or working as individuals?

So What? Describe another time something like this happened to you.

Have you ever been in another situation where everyone was working

together, but because everyone was making so much noise, it just left people

feeling confused?

In this game, you were both competing against someone with your “rock,

paper, scissors;” and at the same time working together for the good of

the group. Can you describe another time you were both competing and

cooperating at the same time?

Now What? How would you change, knowing what you know now?

What are some good ways to deal with “noise” in your life?

Drive it Home

This game is a weird mix of competition and cooperation. In this game, it

was possible to use your competitive spirit to help other people succeed.

The goal of this game is to help people see how they can channel their

competitive nature in a way that helps the people around them, if they are

willing to see the “bigger picture.”

NOTES

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I’ve Got Your Back

This is an affirmation exercise where we have students tape a piece of paper to their

backs. Other students are then asked to write an encouraging statement about them

on their back. This is contrasted with gossip, bullying, and back-biting.

Do it First:

Hand every student a pen, a piece of paper and a piece of tape.

Instruct them to stick the piece of paper to their backs.

Say, “This is an opportunity to affirm one another and make each other feel

cared for. We live in a world where people too often gossip, bully, and back-

bite. This is a chance to say something affectionate behind each others’ backs.

Let’s stay away from generic compliments like, ‘You’re nice,’ or ‘You’re funny.’

Let’s try to give the most concrete, clear complements we can.”

Draw it Out


How did you feel when people were writing on your back?

How did it feel when you approached someone else to write on their back?

So What? Describe another time something like this happened to you.

Has anyone ever said kind words “behind your back” before? How did you feel

when you found out about it?

Now What? How would you change, knowing what you know now?

Describe what it might look like if you decided to speak kindly of other people

behind their backs. How do you think your friends would respond if you chose

to say nice things about them when they weren’t around?

Drive it Home

This game is built to be contrasted against bullying and gossiping. We want

to encourage young people to think about how the people around them

feel about their words. We want to encourage them to make a purposeful,

concrete, step-by-step choice to care about the people around them.

Notes

Personal Debrief

Take some time to journal and answer the following questions. The point of this

exercise is not to beat yourself up (remember-- If you “bumped” even one person,

you won!), but to learn from success and failure.

What was the “win” for this event? In other words, why did we do it, and what were

we hoping to accomplish? (There can be more than one answer to this question. For

example, what was the win for the whole team, and what was the win for you as an

individual). Did we hit the mark? How do you know?

What did you learn about pulling off an event like this?

What feelings or thoughts did you struggle with as the pressure mounted? How

did you handle those? Have you drawn any conclusions about those thoughts and

feelings now that the event is done?

What did you learn about yourself?

If we do this event next year, I will... (list as many things as come to mind)

Thank you so much for choosing to be a Hub mentor.We are so grateful to have met you.

Sincerely,The Hub Team

For videos of the games, resources,and more information about the Hub, visit:

Documents

TEAM BUILDING… · Write down what you hear the people say and what you see them do. ... to involve multiple people from different ... What do they look like? Who do you get along