Taylor’s Callaway Progress As a Student and a Writer

Taylor Callaway

Dr. Matthew Horton

English Composition 1101

8 December 2011

Taylor’s Callaway Progress As a Student and a Writer

Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter....................................................................................................................1

Quality Comparison .........................................................................................................................4

Least Successful Article Response ......................................................................................5

Most Successful Article Response .......................................................................................7

“What’s the Difference?” .....................................................................................................9

Revision Samples ...........................................................................................................................11

Least Successful Article Response (with markup) ............................................................12

Least Successful Article Response (final) .........................................................................15

Most Successful Article Response (with markup) .............................................................17

Most Successful Article Response (final) ..........................................................................20

Most Successful Essay (with markup) ...............................................................................23

Most Successful Essay (final) ............................................................................................32

Page 1

December 8th, 2011 Taylor Callaway Student, English Composition 1101 Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 304 Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA, 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, As the semester comes to a close, I now look back and see the progress I have made as a student. When the semester began, I came into English Composition 1101 with my head held high as I was fresh out of high school with the feeling that I could breeze through college courses. However, I was swept off my feet to find that college would be much more challenging and demanding then high school. With assignments such as article responses, I was able, after multiple tries, to read an article and translate exactly what the author was saying and defending. Before I had ever done article responses, I would simply read articles and have no real clue of what exactly the author was getting at in the article. As you will see in my portfolio, it is obvious that I clearly understand the purpose of article responses, which is to find the author’s point of view, and I can now translate exactly what an article is saying and explain the reasons why that point of view is important. I can use this skill in my future to gain a better understanding of the things I read and decide for myself why they’re important to consider. In editing and revising my article essay, this portfolio will prove how far I have come this year. Not only do I truly understand the format and parts of an essay, I have developed superior grammar skills that have allowed me to improve as a writer. Although I did come to you with many questions, my attitude was always intended to help myself progress in my writing and this portfolio surely shows the improvements I have made this semester. Although it has been up and down, this semester has taught me to never take any assignments lightly because your professors will not take them lightly. I do appreciate the fact that you never gave out any unearned grades, everything has and will be earned through hard work and that has helped me hold close to that strong work ethic that can so easily be lost in college. After receiving low grades early in the semester, I was confused at first as to how I did not do better but I realized, through this portfolio, the amount of improvement that can always be found in my work. It took me a while but I finally started to understand how this English class was going to work. I could read the directions and understand what my teacher wanted out of me. By the end of the year, the differences in the work that was completed at the beginning of the semester and the work that was completed at the end of the semester were almost as though they were done by two different people. Although it took some harsh learning experiences, I was able to adapt to the changes that a college course required and improve my work to a better quality. This portfolio will allow you to see first-hand how much I have learned this semester and how much I have developed in my writing and editing skills. Hopefully this portfolio will show you how

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dedicated I am to persistently improving my writing skills as to hold onto something that I can use in my future. For my least successful article response, I chose the response to the article “Faustian Economics.” This was my least successful because I did a poor job of portraying the author’s point of view, explaining why that point of view is culturally significant, and basically providing the reader with enough evidence to interest them enough to read the article. The biggest difference between this article response and the others was the fact that I did more summarizing about the article in the first paragraph, which is supposed to explain the author’s point of view. I had a couple sentences similar to this, “The author has an important view on this topic simply because there are so many people in this world, especially Americans, who constantly need more, more, more and will sacrifice anything to get more.” I did manage to explain the author’s point of view but I did not sufficiently portray exactly why the author defended that point of view. That was something I made sure to include in my revised article response. My second paragraph, like the first, did a solid job of summarizing but did not really explain why the point of view was significant to consider. I need to improve this paragraph by including why this is important for our society to consider and also to provide an area of culture that needs to be examined for change. In my adjustments, I made sure to exclusively talk about how the point of view affected our culture and even provided “If” scenarios that provided the reader with reasons that the point of view was worth thinking about. The revision of this article response allowed me to see the importance of following directions and also allowed me to critique my work to a finer quality. In choosing my most successful article response, I decided to use the article “Prozac for the Planet.” I chose this article response to be my most successful because I felt as though it portrayed the author’s point of view and the reasons the author defended that point of view with the most accuracy. After reading it a couple times I noticed that I got into my habit of summarizing. The first couple lines of the first paragraph talk about factors that lead to environment problems. I had multiple sentences like this, “Each year, the Earth's climate rises maybe one degree Celsius but that change in climate could be substantial to the heating and ultimate falling out of the planet.” This summarizing of information from the article and therefore it was removed. It wasn’t until around the fourth sentence when I began discussing the author’s point of view. Article responses are supposed to exclusively explain the point of view and its significance to our culture of living, anything else is extraneous and does not provide the reader with appealing information to read the article for themselves. I feel as though I was able to pinpoint exactly what the author was the author was trying to emphasize in his article, which is the continuing problem with our environment and the steps we need to take to fix it. The second paragraph too, like the first, also does a bit of summarizing as well. I feel as though the second paragraph does a good job of explaining why the point of view is worth thinking about but I do need to do a better job of examining why this point of view is worth thinking about. A sentence like, “The author’s point of view is worth considering because our entire way of life is going to have to change if we want to help our planet last longer,” could strengthen my second paragraph allowing it to be more focused on why the author’s point of view is significant. People will adhere to that because lifestyle can

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be a very stubborn path, whereas people do not like to change their usual routine. These adjustments have allowed my article response to follow the directions more closely and ultimately improve the quality of the work. Although I consider it my best article response, there is always room for improvements, as I noticed in revising the response, and it is my job to never be content until I have made completely sure nothing else can be done to make my work better. For the most successful article essay that I completed, I used the article ‘Is That All There Is.’ This article essay talks about the growing trend of secularism. I believe this was my best article essay because I was able to understand what the article was talking about and then find a relevant topic to the article upon which to elaborate on, which was my experience as a student going through public and private schools to portray how secularism was seen from my perspective. The main ideas of the essay were sufficiently covered, it was the little things here and there that brought my grade down. The areas that needed adjustment were the introduction paragraphs, the thesis statement, the topic and closing sentences, and the grammar and punctuation. The introduction paragraphs did not do a good job of reaching out to the audience and preparing them for what was coming in the paper. For the improvements of the first introduction paragraph, I talked more about religion and the different types of schooling to prepare the audience for what the topic of the paper was going to be about. To strengthen the second introduction paragraph, I vaguely covered the main ideas of the three stages to show the reader the specific order and format of the paper. My thesis statement was not as accurate as it should have been so I had to improve it to include everything the three stages would be talking about. The original thesis statement did not encompass all three stages and it really tried to focus my paper around the fact that public schools did not do a good job compared to private schools. My topic sentences were too vague and did not sufficiently prepare the reader for the upcoming paragraph. I adjusted them to be more specified on what exactly the paragraph would be about. My closing sentences did not successfully prove why my topic sentence had actually been proven nor explain how this paragraph or idea was tied into the thesis. I edited them to be more focused on what was explained in the paragraph and to explain its importance and relevance to the topic statement and ultimately the thesis statement. The last bit of improvement was the grammar. To make this better, I simply proofread my essay over and over to make sure the sentences were not hard to read and flowed better together. With these adjustments, my paper is not perfect but it now has more emphasis on the central topic and better orderliness altogether. As I edited two of my article responses and one essay, I was able to see some of the things that have held me back as a writer from having exquisite work. One of these things is the tendency for me to repeat myself. I could see how often I would write two sentences in a paragraph that portrayed the same, exact idea. Whether it is the fact that I try to over-emphasize the point in my argument or the fact that I try to fill more pages with writing, I seem to do it every now and then in my paper and the way that I can get away from that habit it by proofreading. Proofreading will allow me to notice myself repeating points and give me a chance to portray a different perspective or idea on the same issue. Repeating myself has been a recurring theme in my papers for a while now and I need to check myself more often to prevent it from continuing to happen. Another

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thing that I need to improve upon is the delivery of my ideas through sentences. As I was editing, I noticed a lot of times that my sentences were somewhat confusing as I tried to word them in different ways or use big words. Many times, I wanted to make my paper sound more ‘scholarly’ and therefore my syntax was not easy to read. The way to prevent this from happening is by slowing down the writing process and clearly thinking and stating the things that I am trying to say. Here and there in my papers, I found sentences that were misleading and/or confusing to read. This is one of the things I need to improve in the future. I feel as though my writing skills are relatively strong as I do a good job of putting up an argument and defending it but it is the little things such as not repeating myself and making my sentences more clear that will hone my writing skills to a higher level. In revising two of my articles responses and one of my article essays, I am truly able to see the strides I have made as a writer through the corrections and changes I have made and believe that is a reflection of the progress I have made this semester. I believe that I deserve an A. As I stated earlier, I came into this semester with the mindset that I had attained all the writing skills in high school that I needed but I would soon find out that I was not ready to consider myself equipped for the challenge. I felt as the semester went on, I was able to grasp the direction and expectations of the assignments and turn my writing to the next level, even though there is more that I can improve upon. My writing skills, in my opinion, have improved dramatically because I am able to exceed what used to be my standards of sufficient work and ascend to a higher level of writing. The revision of my article responses and the essay prove to me that I have fully understood the directions and the expectations and could turn mediocre work into truly successful writings. At first, I was somewhat embarrassed by the work I had done early in the semester because it was simply a result of me being afraid to open my mind to creative ideas and present writing that was meaningful and sophisticated. However, as I began to write more I was able to understand the importance of broadening my mind and this allowed me to grow as a writer. My recent work, to me at least, has allowed me to see how far I have come in such a short period of time. I do not say that because my grade in the class has risen but after revising my work to pick for this portfolio, I could see changes in my approach and writing style that I could not have been able to improve upon had I not taken this class. This class has opened my mind to constantly improve my writing style and it is substantial to realize how much this class has allowed me to grow and develop as a writer. Thank you for reading my portfolio; I cannot describe how crucial this class is to my development as a student and also a writer. I also want to thank you personally for the help you have given me this semester. The beginning of the semester took some time for me to adjust to the college environment but I eventually figured out how what was expected from you and worked as hard as I could to get the best grade I could. Sincerely, Taylor Callaway

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Least Successful Article Response

Faustian Economics

Friday, August 26, 2011Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.”

Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 31 Dec. 2009.

In the article, the author talks about the ongoing problem with the suffering

economy and the "limitless" American pursuit for something bigger and better. Using

examples, the author argues that the US has had a problem with being greedy and

reckless for almost all of it’s two-hundred year existence and there are little signs to show

any change for the better in the upcoming future. The author takes the stance of a

foreigner looking at the US from an outside view with an unbiased perspective on the

worsening issue. The author is trying to pinpoint the reasons why our nation is in serious

trouble economically and to understand what it is that drives Americans to live the way

they do. The American dream for power has certatinly muted the voice of people whose

purpose is not to get all that one can get, "We seem to have come to a collective delusion

of grandeur, insisting that all of us are “free” to be as conspicuously greedy and wasteful

as the most corrupt of kings and queen" (Berry). The author steadily defends the idea that

the American lifestyle is based on the ideals of greed and wealth and that is the very

reason this country has an economy that is falling to pieces.

The author has an important view on this topic simply because there are so many

people in this world, especially Americans, who constantly need more, more, more and

Page 6

will sacrifice anything to get more. The author identifies the problems with the growing

"limitless" knowledge and the negative effects it brings such as war, crime, etc. Without

proper wisdom, limitless knowledge is very dangerous as Americans have already seen

so far with global warming, nuclear war, and diminishing fossil fuel resources. The

author is basically asking his audience to look around and notice what is happening to

this nation. Americans have the most reckless habits in the world and if they continue

then our nation will be in serious trouble.

Page 7

Most Successful Article Response

Earth's New Way to Control the Climate

Cokinos, Christopher. "Prozac for the Planet." The American Scholar Magazine. Phi Beta

Kappa Society, Oct. 2010. Web. 10 Nov. 2011.

In his article, Cokinos argues that our future depends on a method called 'geoengineering'

to control the climate and ultimately salvage the condition of planet Earth. Each year, the

Earth's climate rises maybe one degree celsuis but that change in climate could be

substantial to the heating and ultimate falling out of the planet. Although it is only

proposed by government officials and the top scientists in the world, geoengineering is

the answer to our problem of 'global warming.' There are two sides of the argument, those

that vouch for the use of geoengineering as soon as possible and those that opt to wait it

out until it geoengineering is abolsutely necessary. The author obviously wishes to use

geoengineering right now. There are many options for geoengineering including the

brightening of marine clouds and release of sulfur in the atmosphere to help control the

temperature of the Earth but there are always side effects which include things such as

whiter skies. Cokinos still believes that the heating of our planet must be controlled and

geoengineering is our only option at this point. The author says, "I think of

geoengineering as Prozac for the planet. The methadone metaphor implies that our

addiction to fossil fuels requires a replacement for them. This is accurate, but the

replacement isn’t geoengineering; it’s sustainable energy development." This quote

shows that the author agrees with geoengineering simply because it will help to answer

Page 8

the problem now. The author strongly states that geoengineering cannot be used to

preserve the process of our current lives of materialism and recklessness but to preserve

the special things of our planet; an example would be the polar bears whose habitat of ice

would be shattered due to the heating of the planet. However, Cokinos feels strongly

about geoengineering and believes it can be the solution to stopping the heating of this

planet

The author's opinions are important because they refer to one of the most important

questions that our planet is trying to figure out, how to preserve our world. Without

regard to the ways in which geoengineering could help us to continue to live with sports

cars, mansions, and anything one can afford, the author points out that geoengineering is

essential to preserve the habitat of our nation. When considering the end of the way we

live our lives currently, too many people worry about how they will not be able to live in

a huge house and own five cars. The author writes this article to inform people that our

world is going to change for the worse if we do not pay attention to the factors that truly

matter. Global warming was an idea that many people heard and were afraid of but now it

is here and the author writes this article to make sure people can understand and react! By

controlling the climate, the author believes that we can preserve life and save civilization

in ways such as limiting the amount of ice that melts that would eventually engulf bodies

of land such as New York City. Cokinos has a completely selfless approach to this idea

of controlling our climate as he wants to preserve life and save our planet, not to make it

where we can still live our lives the same way. This article is a wake up call to many

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people who are unaware of the implications the heating of this planet could have.

Cokinos demands the attention of the reader to understand how significant this issue is

and to be ready to change to save the truly important things in our world. Cokinos

provides basis for which the question of the future of our world can be answered, it just

needs the influence and acceptance from the people willing to make that change.

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What’s The Difference?

For my most successful article response, I used the article “Prozac for the Planet.”

This article talked about the growing problems with our current ways of living regarding

the environmental effects that are becoming more serious. This article response received

a ten out of ten. The first paragraph talks about the growing problem with our current

methods of living as they produce hazardous consequences for our environment. I

discussed the author’s point of view on this issue as he wants to use ‘Geoengineering’ to

salvage our world from completely being destroyed. I used a quote to portray how the

author felt about geoengineering in regards to the positive impact that could result. I

made sure to emphasize that the author felt we needed to use geoeningeering now to

preserve our world but not to prolong materialistic habits. The second paragraph

discussed why the author’s point of view is significant because it refers to one of the most

important topics being talked about today, the future of this Earth. I included reasons why

the author feels geoengineering is needed because of things like saving our habitat and I

also challenged the reader to decide whether they were willing to change their daily

routines, which are probably endangering to the environment, in order preserve our

world. At the time I completed this response, I had already done multiple responses so I

had had a good understanding of what was expected. I felt like I clearly stated the

author’s point of view and the reasons why that point of view is significant and that is

why this was my most successful article response.

For my least successful article response, I used the article “Faustian Economics.”

I received a six out of ten for this article response. This article talks about the problem

with the American society, as too many people are obsessed with materialistic things and

Page 10

having all the money they can get. In the first paragraph, I talked about the things that the

author looks for to understand why our nation is in trouble because of the way we live

and somewhat tries to explain the reasons for our ongoing problems such as greed and

wealth. I summarized much of what the article was getting at and did not do a sufficient

job of explaining the author’s point of view or describe the ways in which the author

defended his point of view. The second paragraph also summarizes the perspective of the

author. However, this paragraph did explain why having such an ambitious mindset could

be dangerous as it leads to things like war, crime, and eventually environmental

problems. Yet, it did not really explain why the author’s point of view is culturally

significant. There were glimpses of a strong article response in these two paragraphs but

overall my lack of following directions lost points and that is why this was my least

successful article response.

When looking at these two article responses, it almost seems as though two

different people wrote them. The article response of “Faustian Economics” was the first

article response I completed so there is indisputable evidence that I was inexperienced

and unprepared for what the directions were asking for. I did the “Prozac for the Planet”

response later in the semester and that explains the difference in content, setup, and

overall character of the response. The “Faustian Economics” response did not talk about

the specific point of view of the author whereas the “Prozac for the Planet” response

emphasized the author’s point of view for an entire paragraph. The main difference that I

observed between the two responses was that the “Faustian Economics” one summarized

too much of the information contained in the article and did a mediocre job of explaining

why the point of view was significant or challenging the audience to examine themselves.

Page 11

The “Prozac for the Planet” response did a good job of challenging the reader to examine

their own situation and providing reasons, such as the rising water levels, to give depth to

the current topic at hand. I can look at these two responses and be somewhat satisfied

with the progress I have made. In the beginning of the year, it seems as I was just filling

in pages to complete grades but towards the end of the semester I was really starting to

follow the directions and pinpoint exactly what the expectations for the assignment were.

Page 12

Least Successful Article Response

The Problem With Our Society’s Mindset

Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 31 Dec. 2009.

In the article, the author talks about the ongoing problem with the suffering economy and the

"limitless" American pursuit for something bigger and better. America’s trademarked theory of

getting more, more, and even more must change in order to preserve the life that is all around us

on this Earth. If we continue to believe that this world is a limitless, inexhaustible entity then we

will eventually run out of resources and be forced to find alternatives ways of living to avoid

serious consequences that could even include extinction, though that is exaggerated. Using

examples, the author argues that the US has had a problem with being greedy and reckless for

almost all of it's two-hundred year existence and there are little signs to show any change for the

better in the upcoming future. The author takes the stance of a foreigner looking at the US from

an outside view with an unbiased perspective on the worsening issue. The author is trying to

pinpoint the reasons why our nation is in serious trouble economically and to understand what it

is that drives Americans to live the way they do. The American dream for power has certatinly

certainly muted the voice of people whose purpose is not to get all that one can get but to serve

their country and make our nation a better place to live. , "We seem to have come to a collective

delusion of grandeur, insisting that all of us are “free” to be as conspicuously greedy and

wasteful as the most corrupt of kings and queen" (Berry). The author steadily defends the idea

that the American lifestyle is based on the ideals of greed and wealth and that is the very reason

this country has an economy that is falling to pieces. Our nation must change if we expect to

Comment [WU1]: I changed the title because the directions say that the title for article responses must be unique and appealing to the audience. This was a lack of following directions, but I did follow directions on the rest of the article responses that I did.

Comment [WU2]: I added this because I felt like the paragraph, before revision, did not really capture the intensity that the author felt about how we needed to change. But with these sentences, the author’s point of view is really laid out for the audience to consider.

Comment [WU3]: This sentence summarizes too much of the article. The purpose of article responses is to provide the author’s point of view and the significance of that point of view, not the content of the article. The article responses are there to provide the audience with substantial opinions before reading the article. This was the first article response I did and I lost points for summarizing but it proved to teach me a lesson to not summarize in the future.

Comment [WU4]: Again, more summarizing. To truly fulfill the requirements of an article response, I need to adequately prove the author’s point of view without summarizing.

Comment [WU5]: I deleted this comment because I felt as though it did not really stand out and really prove what the author was saying. Sure it summarizes the current American routine of ‘get all that you can’ but it doesn’t prove that the author believes we should change, which is his point of view.

Page 13

survive, considering the limitless abundance of things our country manipulates is becoming

smaller and smaller. The author believes the arts are the only we can rely on, “To deal with the

problems, which after all are inescapable, of living with limited intelligence in a limited world, I

suggest that we may have to remove some of the emphasis we have lately placed on science and

technology and have a new look at the arts. For an art does not propose to enlarge itself by

limitless extension but rather to enrich itself within bounds that are accepted prior to the work.”

Using the ideology that the arts present, the author believes we must enrich truly important

values such as the connection between neighbors, friendship, loyalty, love, etc. in order to

salvage ourselves from our current disposition.

The author has an important view on this topic simply because there are so many people in this

world, especially Americans, who constantly need more things , more, more and will sacrifice

anything to get themmore. The author identifies the problems with the growing "limitless"

knowledge that so many people want to have and the negative effects it brings such as war,

crime, etc. Without proper wisdom, limitless knowledge is very dangerous as Americans have

already seen so far with global warming, nuclear war, and diminishing fossil fuel resources. The

author is basically asking his audience to look around and notice what is happening to this

nation. The author makes the reader consider the true problem with our current mindset which is

an arrogant, no-care attitude to the aging world around us and decide whether we are willing, as

humans, to change. This topic is very significant as it raises questions to the future existence of

our society and poses possible ways to change and avoid losing control of our Earth altogether. If

people could commit to changing their ways, however difficult, our world could last longer and

even become a more sensitive, sophisticated society based on values that are more important

Comment [WU6]: I included the author’s opinion about the arts because I believe it brings up a good point and that allows the audience to see the author’s point of view for future solutions.

Comment [WU7]: As I did a lot in the first paragraph, this sentence summarizes the problem with our current mindset as a nation. It does not explain the cultural significance of the author’s point of view.

Comment [WU8]: I added these two sentences because I feel like they really nail the purpose of this paragraph, which is to explain why the author’s point of view is significant. These two sentences prove how the author’s POV appeals to the audience and forces a response, whether that be of remorse because they are guilty of not changing and having selfish mindsets.

Page 14

than attaining as many things as possible. The article challenges people to consider if they would

be willing to make sacrifices that could change our society completely for the betterment of this

world. Americans have the most reckless habits in the world and if they continue then our nation

will be in serious trouble.

Comment [WU9]: These sentences grasp the importance of the author’s POV because they evoke emotions that relate directly to the cultural significant topic, our limitless society nearing an end. These sentences prove that our culture is at stake and without doing something about it we endanger our future.

Page 15

Least Successful Article Response

The Problem With Our Society’s Mindset

Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 31 Dec. 2009.

In the article, the author talks about the ongoing problem with the suffering economy and the

"limitless" American pursuit for something bigger and better. America’s trademarked theory of

getting more, more, and even more must change in order to preserve the life that is all around us

on this Earth. If we continue to believe that this world is a limitless, inexhaustible entity then we

will eventually run out of resources and be forced to find alternatives ways of living to avoid

serious consequences that could even include extinction, though that is exaggerated. The

American dream for power has certainly muted the voice of people whose purpose is not to get

all that one can get but to serve their country and make our nation a better place to live. The

author steadily defends the idea that the American lifestyle is based on the ideals of greed and

wealth and that is the very reason this country has an economy that is falling to pieces. Our

nation must change if we expect to survive, considering the limitless abundance of things our

country manipulates is becoming smaller and smaller. The author believes the arts are the only

we can rely on, “To deal with the problems, which after all are inescapable, of living with limited

intelligence in a limited world, I suggest that we may have to remove some of the emphasis we

have lately placed on science and technology and have a new look at the arts. For an art does not

propose to enlarge itself by limitless extension but rather to enrich itself within bounds that are

accepted prior to the work.” Using the ideology that the arts present, the author believes we must

Page 16

enrich truly important values such as the connection between neighbors, friendship, loyalty, love,

etc. in order to salvage ourselves from our current disposition.

The author has an important view on this topic simply because there are so many people in this

world, especially Americans, who constantly need more things and will sacrifice anything to get

them. The author identifies the problems with the growing "limitless" knowledge that so many

people want to have and the negative effects it brings such as war, crime, etc. The author makes

the reader consider the true problem with our current mindset which is an arrogant, no-care

attitude to the aging world around us and decide whether we are willing, as humans, to change.

This topic is very significant as it raises questions to the future existence of our society and poses

possible ways to change and avoid losing control of our Earth altogether. If people could commit

to changing their ways, however difficult, our world could last longer and even become a more

sensitive, sophisticated society based on values that are more important than attaining as many

things as possible. The article challenges people to consider if they would be willing to make

sacrifices that could change our society completely for the betterment of this world. Americans

have the most reckless habits in the world and if they continue then our nation will be in serious

trouble.

Page 17

Most Successful Article Response

Earth's New Way to Control the Climate

Cokinos, Christopher. "Prozac for the Planet." The American Scholar Magazine. Phi Beta Kappa

Society, Oct. 2010. Web. 10 Nov. 2011.

In his article, Cokinos argues that our future depends on a method called 'geoengineering' to

control the climate and ultimately salvage the condition of planet Earth.. Each year, the Earth's

climate rises maybe one degree celsuis but that change in climate could be substantial to the

heating and ultimate falling out of the planet. Although it is only proposed by government

officials and the top scientists in the world, geoengineering is the answer to our problem of

'global warming.' There are two sides of the argument, those that vouch for the use of

geoengineering as soon as possible and those that opt to wait it out until it geoengineering is

abolsutely absolutely necessary. The author obviously wishes to use geoengineering right now.

There are many options for geoengineering including the brightening of marine clouds and

release of sulfur in the atmosphere to help control the temperature of the Earth but there are

always side effects which include things such as whiter skies. Cokinos still believes that the

heating of our planet must be controlled immediately and geoengineering is our only option at

this point. The author says, "I think of geoengineering as Prozac for the planet. The methadone

metaphor implies that our addiction to fossil fuels requires a replacement for them. This is

accurate, but the replacement isn’t geoengineering; it’s sustainable energy development." This

quote shows that the author agrees with geoengineering simply because it will help to answer the

problem now. The author strongly states that geoengineering Geoengineering cannot be used to

preserve the process of our current lives of materialism and recklessness but to preserve the

Formatted: Font: (Default) Times New Roman,12 pt, Italic

Comment [WU1]: I removed this sentence from the paragraph because it is just summarizing. The point of article responses is to show the point of view and the author and the importance of that point of view. Summarizing the article is extraneous as the audience is supposed to read the article response to get the author point of view and it’s importance and then read the article to find the facts.

Comment [WU2]: Again, this sentence is summarizing the article and that I what we want to avoid. Only the point of view of the author is important in this article. The audience reads my article response and then reads the actual article to get the full information.

Comment [WU3]: I deleted this introduction to the sentence because I did not want to sound repetitive. Also, it is clearly established that I’m talking about the author’s point of view.

Page 18

special things of our planet; an example would be the polar bears whose habitat of ice would be

shattered due to the heating of the planet. However, Cokinos feels strongly about geoengineering

and believes it can be the solution to stopping the heating of this planet and hopefully perpetuate

the life span of this Earth.

The author's opinions are important because they refer to one of the most important questions

that our planet is trying to figure out, how to preserve our world. Without regard to the ways in

which geoengineering could help us to continue to live with sports cars, mansions, and anything

one can afford, the author points out that geoengineering is essential to preserve the habitat of

our nation. When considering the end of the way we live our lives currently, too many people

worry about how they will not be able to live in a huge house and own five cars.Cokinos stresses

the importance of putting aside materialistic desires and consider our planet’s existence as

imminent. The author writes this article to inform people that our world is going to change for

the worse if we do not pay attention to the factors that truly matter. Global warming was an idea

that many people heard and were afraid of but now it is here and the author writes this article to

make sure people can understand and react! By controlling the climate, the author believes that

we can preserve life and save civilization in ways such as limiting the amount of ice that melts

that would eventually engulf bodies of land such as New York City. Cokinos has a completely

selfless approach to this idea of controlling our climate as he wants to preserve life and save our

planet, not to make it where we can still live our lives the same way. This article is a wake up

call to many people who are unaware of the implications the heating of this planet could have.

Cokinos demands the attention of the reader to understand how significant this issue ischallenges

the reader to consider changing their selfish ways for the betterment of this planet and to be

ready to change to save the truly important things in our world. Cokinos provides basis for which

Comment [WU4]: I reworded this sentence to imply the importance of changing our ways, the author’s point in the article, to help our planet. I had to reword it to sound more appealing from a cultural standpoint as opposed to stating how people currently live.

Comment [WU5]: This sentence is more based on the author’s point of view then the cultural significance of that point of view. This paragraph’s purpose is to define the reasons the author’s point of view should be considered.

Comment [WU6]: I added this to the sentence to show which area of culture the author’s point of view challenges and that is our internal motivations. The wording of this sentence makes the reader think about something that is so prominent in our society, which are things like greed, selfishness, etc. and asks them if they can truly change.

Page 19

the question of the future of our world can be answered, it just needs the influence and

acceptance from the people willing to make that change.

Page 20

Most Successful Article Response

Earth's New Way to Control the Climate

Cokinos, Christopher. "Prozac for the Planet." The American Scholar Magazine. Phi Beta Kappa

Society, Oct. 2010. Web. 10 Nov. 2011.

In his article, Cokinos argues that our future depends on a method called 'geoengineering' to

control the climate and ultimately salvage the condition of planet Earth. Each year, the Earth's

climate rises maybe one degree Celsius but that change in climate could be substantial to the

heating and ultimate falling out of the planet. Although it is only proposed by government

officials and the top scientists in the world, geoengineering is the answer to our problem of

'global warming.' There are two sides of the argument, those that vouch for the use of

geoengineering as soon as possible and those that opt to wait it out until it geoengineering is

absolutely necessary. The author obviously wishes to use geoengineering right now. There are

many options for geoengineering including the brightening of marine clouds and release of sulfur

in the atmosphere to help control the temperature of the Earth but there are always side effects

which include things such as whiter skies. Cokinos still believes that the heating of our planet

must be controlled immediately and geoengineering is our only option at this point. The author

says, "I think of geoengineering as Prozac for the planet. The methadone metaphor implies that

our addiction to fossil fuels requires a replacement for them. This is accurate, but the

replacement isn’t geoengineering; it’s sustainable energy development." This quote shows that

the author agrees with geoengineering simply because it will help to answer the problem now.

The author strongly states that geoengineering cannot be used to preserve the process of our

current lives of materialism and recklessness but to preserve the special things of our planet; an

Page 21

example would be the polar bears whose habitat of ice would be shattered due to the heating of

the planet. However, Cokinos feels strongly about geoengineering and believes it can be the

solution to stopping the heating of this planet and hopefully perpetuate the life span of this Earth.

The author's opinions are important because they refer to one of the most important questions

that our planet is trying to figure out, how to preserve our world. Without regard to the ways in

which geoengineering could help us to continue to live with sports cars, mansions, and anything

one can afford, the author points out that geoengineering is essential to preserve the habitat of

our nation. When considering the end of the way we live our lives currently, too many people

worry about how they will not be able to live in a huge house and own five cars. Cokinos stresses

the importance of putting aside materialistic desires and consider our planet’s existence as

imminent. The author writes this article to inform people that our world is going to change for

the worse if we do not pay attention to the factors that truly matter. Global warming was an idea

that many people heard and were afraid of but now it is here and the author writes this article to

make sure people can understand and react! By controlling the climate, the author believes that

we can preserve life and save civilization in ways such as limiting the amount of ice that melts

that would eventually engulf bodies of land such as New York City. Cokinos has a completely

selfless approach to this idea of controlling our climate as he wants to preserve life and save our

planet, not to make it where we can still live our lives the same way. This article is a wake-up

call to many people who are unaware of the implications the heating of this planet could have.

Cokinos demands the attention of the reader to understand how significant this issue is as it

challenges the reader to consider changing their selfish ways for the betterment of this planet and

to be ready to change to save the truly important things in our world. Cokinos provides basis for

Page 22

which the question of the future of our world can be answered, it just needs the influence and

acceptance from the people willing to make that change.

Page 23

Taylor Callaway

Professor Horton

English 1101

27 September8 December 2011

What Do You Believe: Finding the Faith

In his article “Is That All There Is,” James Wood argues that “Life develops meaning

because someone identifies with God’s purpose. This identification must spring from an act of

evaluation, a decision that there is value in serving a deity whose purpose is deemed good.” In

our society, there are many barriers that prevent the teaching of religion in public schools which

leads me to believe that this could be one of the reasons secularism is becoming a popular trend

in our society today. Secularism is defined as the exclusion of religious practice or religious

acknowledgment from everyday life. Religion is an idea that takes a proper background of

practice and education to be truly understood can truly be understood with the proper

background of practices and motivations behind historical religious events. Without a good

comprehension of religion the goals behind it, one can misunderstand the concept altogether..

Because they do not provide students with a religious background, public schools Public schools

do not provide that background preparation of religions or any approach to teaching religion in

general and therefore leave students with little to no reason to even try to understand religion at

all. With that being said, I believe private schools better prepare students to understand topics

such as religionreligion that help give students a better understanding of the world and even

provide basis for determining one’s own opinions and beliefs. Woods is referring to the

foundations of faith and the method in which people find that faith. From a first hand

perspective, it is eye-opening to see the difference between the path that teenagers with a private

Comment [GSC1]: I basically went back and read this paragraph and decided that it needed to be changed to give the reader a better idea of the ideas that would be discussed in the paper. After reading what I had originally wrote in my first paragraph, I realized that the content of the paragraph did not really attempt to interest the audience or prepare to orient in any way on what the paper was going to be about.

Comment [WU2]: I reworded this sentence to make the sentence flow better. This, being grammar, was on one of the things that brought my grade down so I proofread multiple times to sharpen my sentences and make them flow better.

Comment [GSC3]: I added this sentence to really anchor the first paragraph. By reading this sentence, after having read the paragraph thus far, I feel like I capture the topic and point of discussion that really gives the audience an idea of what my paper is going to be about, which is the ways in which public differ from private schools in their educational methods and the difference in which they prepare students on topics such as religion.

Comment [GSC4]: I went back, after I had really framed my new paragraph, and decided that I needed to throw private school education, specifically the teaching of religion courses, into this paragraph to make sure the audience was ready for the time when private schooling became an important topic in my paper.

Comment [GSC5]: This paragraph did not really reach out to the audience to prepare them for what I was planning on talking about in the paper. I was just generalizing on our culture in general.

Page 24

school education take and the path that teenagers with a public school education take. I am

referring to the way they live their lives, whether that is mostly secular or spiritual. By that

statement, I mean to say that the type of schooling you attend, public or private, models the

foundation of your opinion of God and religion.

As a young kid, I began in a public elementary school that did not provide religion

courses or even tolerate religious discussions. I was excluded from religious discussions and

activities but remained curious about the concept. In my transition from public school to private

school, I was immediately exposed to religious education and was able to view the world in a

different way. find my own opinions on matters dealing with religion. As I learned more about

religion, I was actually ablebegan to see the impact it had on people’s lives. I started to grasp the

deeper meaning of religion.find my own beliefs and opinions and claim my faith. In my life, I

believe that the religionus courses I took in private school allowed me to gain agave me a better

understanding of world religionsthe world around me and ultimately allowed me to find my own

faith to decide what I believed in,faith which implemented religion into my everyday life, ending

my former habits of living a relatively secular life.

Coming from a Episcopalian private school, I have had intensive courses pertaining to

religion that have helped me shape my beliefs and opinions at a young age that would have been

difficult to form without taking those courses. Although it may sound bias, there is reasonable

belief that many of my friends in public school have followed more secular lifestyles or have

questioned God because there are questions that are simply unanswered leaving a void where an

explanation could be explained in private school. In my life span, I believe that the courses and

involvement my private high school provided regarding to religion have helped me immensely in

Comment [GSC6]: I took this part out of the first paragraph because it doesn’t really relate to the thesis or the topic of the paper. My goal is not to compare the education of public and private schools but to explain what I got personally from my private school experience.

Formatted: Indent: First line: 0.5"

Comment [WU7]: In this sentence, I made sure to include that I remained curious about religion. Before I revised this paper, I say here that I was uninterested about religion and later in the paper I said that I did not understand religion but was curious about religion. I edited this to make sure I wasn’t contradicting myself later in the paper.

Comment [WU8]: I had many sentences like this that were basically “fluff” where as they repeat the idea already presented or add in something that is not really necessary to basically lengthen the sentence. I went back and cropped as many of these little exerts from my paper as I could find.

Comment [WU9]: This paragraph is all about laying out the format of the paper for the audience to see and also to explain the steps that lead to your thesis. These newly revised sentences provide the foundation of my paper as well as leading up to the thesis. I tried to give little details that each stage would contain but not enough as to basically give up the important points that are detailed in the paragraphs.

Comment [WU10]: I took out this part of the paragraph because it didn’t provide the background information that is supposed to prepare the audience for the topic of the paper. I started comparing myself to my friends in public school and that is not anywhere mentioned in my paper. I rewrote this to make it more relevant. Also, I vaguely introduced the three stages of the middle paragraphs in their chronological order. This way, the audience knows how the format of the next three paragraphs is going to be.

Page 25

collecting my beliefs, understanding my experiences and finding my faith that could not

otherwise have been accomplished through a public school.

While in public elementary school, I was never introduced to religion. This non-inclusion

left a void of curiosity in me. When I started schooling, I began at a public elementary school

and was not educated on any religions or theology. From as long as I can remember, I attended

Sunday school with my parents. andIn elementary school, I eventually graduated to ‘Big

Church’ where I learned about the values of Christianity and God. However, I still did not

understand the true meaning of God and the life-changing impact he apparently had on other

people’s lives, especially on kids that were my age. At this point in my life, religious practices

such as reciting Our Father’s Prayer or memorizing the Ten Commandments were regular

occurrences in Bible school or with friends I would listen to stories about the miracles of the

Bible and I learned the ‘Ten Commandments’ but all of it meant nothing to me. Because I wasn’t

learning anything about religious practice or culture in public school, there were no classes to

teach about religion in public schools I was constantly nagging my parents, friends, and teachers

about this religion faith that was so unknown to me. Even by asking for all these peoplethese

questions, I did not find the answersnever found the answers. I needed to convince myself of this

‘faith’ that was constantly talked about. Along with many of my elementary school classmates, I

was living day to day withoutwasn’t praying or even thinking about the reasons that I was alive.

These themes would turn out to be a big part of religion.. Basically, although I did not know it at

the time, I was living a textbook secular life. Secularism is defined as “of or pertaining to

worldly things or to things that are not regarded as religious, spiritual, or scared.” At this point in

my life, neither Christianity nor God had any impact on anything I did. At the beginning of my

private schooling around the age of twelve, I was immediately exposed to religious ideals and

Comment [WU11]: I rewrote my thesis statement because this one somewhat talks about the main subject but does not really include everything that my paper is going to talk about. Also, it includes the ways in which public schools would not have helped me. I was not comparing public to private schools and this thesis hints that that comparison will be somewhere in the paper. The thesis is supposed to be informative and contain the main argument of my paper, which is the job that private schools did to give me a better understanding of religion.

Comment [WU12]: I added this because I felt as though it sums up the feelings I had going through this process and those feelings are included in the paragraph so I felt like this sentence needed to include it.

Comment [WU13]: I changed my topic sentence because my original one was a little bland and didn’t really capture exactly what the paragraph was going to talk about.

Comment [WU14]: I reworded this to make it sound better when reading. The other sentence had to different sentences basically and it just sounded rough when you read it. I did switch the religious practices because I felt like they pertained more to the weekly bible school studies we would have anyway.

Comment [WU15]: I have already defined secularism in the first paragraph. This sentence is unnecessary as the reader already has read the definition. This sentence was used to fill more space to lengthen the paragraph.

Page 26

information that helped me find a basis for my beliefs at a comparatively young age. I began to

take many religion classes and was finally beginning to understand many of the things I

questioned earlier in my life that would soon change my life in a major way. Religion, to me,

was a big word that everyone seemed to practice and understand but a concept that I remained

excluded from. I believe that the lack of religious courses provided in public schools caused a

religious negligence in my early life.

As I moved from public school to private school, I had no idea the changes that were

about to happen in my life.With my transition, from a public elementary school to a private

middle school, I was exposed to religious teachings for the first time which broadened my

understanding and gave me a good idea about what religion was all about. Throughout public

school, I attended church regularly but I never fully understood many of the things that were

being talked about. and it It wasn’t till I attended private school when that I learned many new

thingsthe true purpose of all those lessons. For a start, I started taking religion courses, such as

New Testament, and broadened my understanding that really opened up my image of religion as

a whole., specifically of Christianity and God , and that really helped me find a basis for my

faith. At first, learning all these new things such as the meanings of bible verses or even

understanding the importance of historical events hearing the courageous acts of biblical

characters was too much as I had no context to place the events. prior recollection of their

existence or meaning. However, as I got more and more interested with these classes, I began to

think more about my own faith and that’s when I started to model my beliefs. Had I not taken

these intensive courses about religion or attended school chapel daily, I cannot honestlydo not

believe say that I would have been able to base find my own opinions and beliefs at such an early

age, comparatively. I clearly remember moments in high school when I would sit back and think

Comment [WU16]: I completely cropped out this closing statement because it did not really sum up the paragraph that I had just written. I had to rewrite it because I felt as though I needed something that adequately summed up the paragraph I had written. This closing statement begins to talk about the topic of my next paragraph.

Comment [WU17]: I removed this topic sentence because it was too broad and didn’t really explain ‘what changes were about to happen in my life. ‘

Comment [WU18]: This new topic sentence at least provides an idea of what the paragraph is going to be about and prepares the audience to understand that religion would become an important part of my life.

Comment [WU19]: I removed this at this section of the paragraph because I do not want to give the importance of taking these religion courses until later in the paragraph when more information is exposed.

Comment [WU20]: I reworded this sentence because it was worded awkwardly and makes it hard to read. One of the more important things I was looking to change in my revisions was the flow of sentences.

Page 27

about everything.. It would all come to me at once, with my newly learned understanding,These

meditations led to a newfound understanding of h how unbelievable life truly is. . To get back on

topic, I accredit these epiphanies, my faith, and my new perception of the world my overall

understanding to my private school education. I can honestly say that if I had attended a public

high school I would still have little understanding of God and the values of Christianity that were

taught to me at a young age and I could possibly attest to living a secular life. When I

transitioned to private school, many things in my life began to make sense. Because I understood

the thought process behind religion, I was able to confidently place my faith in something that I

understood and deemed important in my life.

Throughout high school, I was constantly surrounded by religious points of views and

educated daily on the values of the different religions around the world.The teachings and

lessons of world religions, specifically Christianity, gave me a real life view of the world and

allowed me to place my trust in something I believed in for the first time. My secular experience

along with my newfound religious knowledge allowed me to see both sides of the spectrum.

TThis theological literacy that I gained not only helped me find my faith, but also helped me to

comprehend the world around me morein a more sophisticated way. I was also able to implement

morals into my actions andbegan to behave more accordingly to the values that religion instilled

into my daily life. logically, as if I was living I with a had found a new purpose in my life. Some

One example of the ways in which I implemented my newfoundof the religious involvement

that was soon becoming my hobby was attending FCA, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and

Younglife. This was a clubThese clubs in my high school where had about forty students, and we

would would meet and basicallyto talk about the impact of God in our lives and the ways in

which we need to serve God more effectively. The club was a great idea because it would allow

Comment [WU21]: I reworded as it uses less words to describe the feelings I was having as opposed to the prior sentence. This eliminates ‘fluff’ and helps the sentences flow better together.

Comment [WU22]: I took this closing sentence out because it doesn’t really sum up what the paragraph was talking about. Rather, it offers a point of view of something completely irrelevant.

Comment [WU23]: I think this closing sentence strongly stresses the importance that taking religion courses put on me as I was finally able to find my faith and credit private schooling for doing something that could not have been done elsewhere.

Comment [WU24]: Again, this topic sentence is was too broad and does not really get any bit specific on what the paragraph is going to talk about. In reading the directions for the parts of an essay, I didn’t really see how powerful topic sentences cane be as they grab the attention of the audience and prepare them for what is coming in the upcoming paragraph.

Comment [WU25]: This new topic sentence is a lot more specific about what the paragraph is going to contain and prepares the audience to read about how religion allowed me to consider my life before knowing what religion was and after.

Comment [WU26]: I took out pieces of sentences like this because they make the sentence read more roughly. In checking my grammar, I wanted to make sure all the sentences flowed and were grammatically correct.

Page 28

my peersallowed for people my age to reflect on their experiences with religion and God and

give everyone a true understanding of what was expected in practice. help kids understand that

they were not the only one overwhelmed by trying to understand religion. I began to think about

my goals in life and their relevance my religion. I began to wonder if my goals coincided with

what my religion believed was ethical or “right?” The religion classes that I was takingtook

made me believe that most people must attain theological literacy, or at some degree of

knowledge of the religion before they can honestly defend the religion or a faithconcepts of a

religion. I know for one thing that before I attended private school, I was intellectually absent on

many questions concerning religion and that made it was difficult to confidently place my faith

in a religion. I was starting living day to day thinking about my goals in life and the reason I was

put on this Earth . On another note, I believe that a lack of theological literacy or religious

knowledge can lead many people to live secular lives. I am not saying that all people who are

theologically illiterate live secular lives, but that their lack of religious knowledge makes it easier

for these people to not understand religious concepts and therefore exclude religion from their

everyday lives. By that I mean, when people do not understand religion they have a harder time

finding their intrinsic beliefs and therefore do not consider religion in their everyday livesFrom a

first-hand perspective, I will say that if I was not educated in private school, I would most likely

be somewhat theologically illiterate and therefore incapable of finding the basis for my faith,

until I was properly educated later on in life.I could now participate in activities with others, such

as FCA and Younglife, and those really showed me how special and unique religion can be.

Coming from a kid who had no idea what religion was at one point, it was interesting to take

religion courses for the first time. It was enlightening to learn the difference between having a

Comment [WU27]: I changed the end of this sentence because it gives the reader a better understanding of what I was experiencing, as were my fellow classmates that were also going through the same thing.

Comment [WU28]: This sentence basically sums up the importance, to me at least, of the impact the classes that I was taking had on my life. I want to show the reader that religion was becoming a very big thing in my life, big enough to engulf things such as my dreams and desires and make sure they were of the right essence, so to speak.

Comment [WU29]: I took out this sentences, and others like it, because it is kind of repeating what I said earlier about my goals in life and their relevance to religion and it is really there to add more writing to the paper.

Comment [WU30]: I removed this sentence because it is almost a complete repetition of the sentence before it. They both talk about how not having an understanding of religion leads to people excluding them from everyday lives. This is one of the habits that I tend to get into when writing papers, which is repetition, and that it why it is extra important to always go back and limit the amount of times you repeat yourself.

Comment [WU31]: This closing statement, like the others, does not do a good job of ending the paragraph. It doesn’t include things like FCA that were in the paragraph that really were important in my new understanding of religion. The discussion of the paragraph was not about what my life would have been like had I not attended private school but how it was because I attended private school.

Page 29

religious background and how not having this education could impair one’s ability to see the

purpose of religion.

In short, I believe that private schoolingmy private school education has helped me

understand the concepts of religion and allowed given me a chance to better understand the

world while also allowing me to find my faith. I could now understand why people that I

encountered everyday thought and acted differently on issues that at one time all seemed one

sided to me. the basis of my faith because of the values I learned by taking those religion

courses. On the contrary, I believe that many public school students who do not receive the same

religious education and theological involvement find it harder to understand somethe basic

concepts and reasoning of religion and. tTherefore, they have trouble, at a young age, finding

their beliefs and, in result, possibly living secular lives follow more secular lives. because of it.

The reason public schools do not teach religion is the Establishment Clause. This fact legislation

prevents millions of teenagers in America today from learning about religions that could

otherwise help them find their belief and place their opinionoffer them a more realistic view of

the world. Many public school students today who are not educated in religion courses or

exposed to religious points of view can be engulfed by the constraints of a secular life. Imagining

an America without the Establishment Clause is eye-opening, as millions more young adults

going through public establishments would be more educated and aware of religious values that

could help them comprehend life in a different way and leave them not asking, “Is That All

There Is?” An interesting question to ask would be is the government ever going to change its

stubborn lease on the teaching of religion in public schools? I think we need to ask ourselves the

question if it is right for public schools to include religion in the curriculums and if public

schools do one day teach religion, can we still stay consumed on the fact that there is it possible

Comment [WU32]: I threw this sentence into the paragraph because it think it allows people to see the difference that religion had on my life other than just helping me find my faith. Private school education actually opened my understanding of the world around me.

Comment [WU33]: I added this because I think it is important to remind the audience that teaching religion in public schools is not only there to help young adults find their faith but to also provide a more realistic understanding of the events that are happening around them and to understand the way people think and act.

Comment [WU34]: I reworded this to make the sentence flow better.

Page 30

to still make is a clear distinction between church and state, still?? I can strongly argue attest that

with religious education many public schools students, who are constantly questioning their faith

or even wondering why people think and act the way they do, can be freed from this lack of

knowledge, find their faith, understand the world better and hinder from living secular lives. In

conclusion, the courses that I took on religion haves given me the tools I need to find my own

opinions and beliefs and comprehend the world in a better way and and because public schools

are not offered this education is the reason I think many young adults live secular lives.

Comment [WU35]: Like earlier, I made sure to include this to remind the reader that teaching religion offers a more realistic view of the world. In other words, I want the author to know that teaching religions will prepare young adults to encounter people that will think differently and to imply that it won’t be such a culture shock for religious educated students to realize those differences in opinions.

Page 31

Works Cited

Wood, James. “Is That All There Is?” The New Yorker Magazine. Conde Nast Digital, 15 Aug.

2011. Web. 27 Sept. 2011.

Page 32

Taylor Callaway

Professor Horton

English 1101

8 December 2011

What Do You Believe: Finding the Faith?

In his article “Is That All There Is,” James Wood argues that “Life develops meaning

because someone identifies with God’s purpose. This identification must spring from an act of

evaluation, a decision that there is value in serving a deity whose purpose is deemed good.” In

our society, there are many barriers that prevent the teaching of religion in public schools which

leads me to believe that this could be one of the reasons secularism is becoming a popular trend

in our society today. Secularism is defined as the exclusion of religious practice or religious

acknowledgment from everyday life. Religion is an idea that takes a proper background of

practice and education to be truly understood can truly be understood with the proper

background of practices and motivations behind historical religious events. Without a good

comprehension of religion the goals behind it, one can misunderstand the concept altogether.

Because they do not provide students with a religious background, public schools leave students

with little to no reason to even try to understand religion at all. With that being said, I believe

private schools better prepare students to understand topics such as religion that help give

students a better understanding of the world and even provide basis for determining one’s own

opinions and beliefs.

Page 33

As a young kid, I began in a public elementary school that did not provide religion

courses or even tolerate religious discussions. I was excluded from religious discussions and

activities but remained curious about the concept. In my transition from public school to private

school, I was immediately exposed to religious education and was able to view the world in a

different way. As I learned more about religion, I began to see the impact it had on people’s

lives. I started to grasp the deeper meaning of religion. I believe that the religion courses I took

in private school gave me a better understanding of the world around me and ultimately allowed

me to find my faith which implemented religion into my everyday life, ending my former habits

of living a secular life.

While in public elementary school, I was never introduced to religion. This non-inclusion

left a void of curiosity in me. From as long as I can remember, I attended Sunday school with my

parents. In elementary school, I eventually graduated to ‘Big Church’ where I learned about the

values of Christianity and God. However, I still did not understand the true meaning of God and

the life-changing impact he had on other people’s lives, especially on kids that were my age. At

this point in my life, religious practices such as reciting Our Father’s Prayer or memorizing the

Ten Commandments were regular occurrences in Bible school or with friends but all of it meant

nothing to me. Because I wasn’t learning anything about religious practice or culture in public

school, I was constantly nagging my parents, friends, and teachers about this faith that was so

unknown to me. Even by asking these questions, I never found the answers. Along with many of

my classmates, I wasn’t praying or even thinking about the reasons that I was alive. These

themes would turn out to be a big part of religion. Basically, although I did not know it at the

time, I was living a secular life. At this point in my life, neither Christianity nor God had any

impact on anything I did. Religion, to me, was a big word that everyone seemed to practice and

Page 34

understand but a concept that I remained excluded from. I believe that the lack of religious

courses provided in public schools caused a religious negligence in my early life.

With my transition, from a public elementary school to a private middle school, I was

exposed to religious teachings for the first time which broadened my understanding and gave me

a good idea about what religion was all about. Throughout public school, I attended church

regularly but never fully understood many of the things that were being talked about. It wasn’t

till I attended private school that I learned the true purpose of all those lessons. For a start, I

started taking religion courses, such as New Testament, and broadened my understanding of

religion as a whole. At first, learning all these new things such as the meanings of bible verses or

even understanding the importance of historical events was too much as I had no context to place

the events. However, as I got more and more interested with these classes I began to think more

about my own faith. Had I not taken these intensive courses about religion or attended school

chapel daily, I do not believe that I would have been able to find my own opinions and beliefs at

such an early age. I clearly remember moments in high school when I would sit back and think

about everything. These meditations led to a newfound understanding of how unbelievable life

truly is. I accredit these epiphanies, my faith, and my new perception of the world to my private

school education. When I transitioned to private school, many things in my life began to make

sense. Because I understood the thought process behind religion, I was able to confidently place

my faith in something that I understood and deemed important in my life.

The teachings and lessons of world religions, specifically Christianity, gave me a real life

view of the world and allowed me to place my trust in something I believed in for the first time.

My secular experience along with my newfound religious knowledge allowed me to see both

sides of the spectrum. This theological literacy that I gained not only helped me find my faith,

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but also helped me to comprehend the world around me in a more sophisticated way. I began to

behave more accordingly to the values that religion instilled into my daily life. I had found a new

purpose in my life. Some of the ways in which I implemented my newfound religion was

attending FCA, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and Younglife. These clubs in my high

school had about forty students, and we would meet to talk about the impact of God in our lives

and the ways in which we need to serve God more effectively. The club allowed for people my

age to reflect on their experiences with religion and God and help kids understand that they were

not the only one overwhelmed by trying to understand religion. I began to think about my goals

in life and their relevance to my religion. I began to wonder if my goals coincided with what my

religion believed was ethical or “right?” The religion classes that I took made me believe that

most people must attain theological literacy, or at some degree of knowledge of the religion

before they can honestly defend the concepts of a religion. I know that before I attended private

school, I was intellectually absent on many questions concerning religion and that it was difficult

to confidently place my faith in a religion. I believe that a lack of theological literacy or religious

knowledge can lead many people to live secular lives. I am not saying that all people who are

theologically illiterate live secular lives, but that their lack of religious knowledge makes it easier

for these people to not understand religious concepts and therefore exclude religion from their

everyday lives. I could now participate in activities with others, such as FCA and Younglife, and

those really showed me how special and unique religion can be. Coming from a kid who had no

idea what religion was at one point, it was interesting to take religion courses for the first time. It

was enlightening to learn the difference between having a religious background and how not

having this education could impair one’s ability to see the purpose of religion.

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In short, my private school education has helped me understand the concepts of religion

and given me a chance to better understand the world while also allowing me to find my faith. I

could now understand why people that I encountered everyday thought and acted differently on

issues that at one time all seemed one sided to me. On the contrary, I believe that many public

school students who do not receive religious education find it harder to understand the basic

concepts and reasoning of religion. Therefore, they have trouble, at a young age, finding their

beliefs and, in result, follow more secular lives. The reason public schools do not teach religion

is the Establishment Clause. This legislation prevents millions of teenagers in America today

from learning about religions that could otherwise help them find their belief and offer them a

more realistic view of the world. Many public school students today who are not educated in

religion courses or exposed to religious points of view can be engulfed by the constraints of a

secular life. Imagining an America without the Establishment Clause is eye-opening, as millions

more young adults going through public establishments would be more educated and aware of

religious values that could help them comprehend life in a different way and leave them not

asking, “Is That All There Is?” An interesting question to ask would be is the government ever

going to change its stubborn lease on the teaching of religion in public schools? I think we need

to ask ourselves the question if it is right for public schools to include religion in the curriculums

and is it possible to still make a clear distinction between church and state? I can strongly attest

that with religious education many public schools students, who are constantly questioning their

faith or even wondering why people think and act the way they do, can be freed from this lack of

knowledge, find their faith, understand the world better and hinder from living secular lives. In

conclusion, the courses that I took on religion have given me the tools I need to find my own

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beliefs and comprehend the world in a better way and because public schools are not offered this

education is the reason I think many young adults live secular lives.

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Works Cited

Wood, James. “Is That All There Is?” The New Yorker Magazine. Conde Nast Digital, 15 Aug.

2011. Web. 27 Sept. 2011.