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Talking With YouthTalking With YouthListening with your heartListening with your heart
Bob Lewis
Sue Badeau
Permanent Family Connections
[email protected] & [email protected] 2
Workshop IntroductionWorkshop IntroductionThis is an interactive workshop• Youth development• Permanence Is …• Looking at the Issues• Thinking about a specific youth• Identifiable Tasks• Public media & other Recruitment• Practice Exercise• Wrap-up
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Youth Development for Youth Development for SuccessSuccess
Power
Competence
Usefulness
Belonging
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Permanence is everyone’s jobPermanence is everyone’s job 1. Permanence is for
All Youth2. Permanence
Can Be Created3. Permanence is for
Now 4. Permanence is for
The Future
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Permanence is for the futurePermanence is for the future
• Terry, 19, college
• JD, 20, grandchildren
• Peggy’s daughter, 34, jail
• Lu’s son, 16, RTC
THINK AHEAD 5,10,20 YEARSTHINK AHEAD 5,10,20 YEARS
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Permanence can be createdPermanence can be created
The highest level of physical, legal and emotional safety and security for each youth within a family relationship.
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Permanence Can Be CreatedPermanence Can Be Created• A parent or two – A parenting
relationship with at least one adult• Intent – a mutual understanding that
this relationship is intended to last forever
• Unconditional commitment on the part of the adult
• Participation of all parties in the relationship
• Lifelong and mutual support and involvement
• Intimacy & Belonging
ICBS
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Range of legal connectionsRange of legal connections• Adoption• Guardianship• Custody• Legal Name Change• Other Permanent
Living Arrangement• Adoption deferred to
adulthood
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Comparing legal permanenceComparing legal permanence
• Birth parents rights• Caregiver Rights• Legal Documentation • Decision Making for Child/ren • Relationship with the Birth Parent/s• Financial Assistance• Eligibility for Medicaid • Child’s Legal Name• Inheritance• Returning a Child
[email protected] & [email protected] 10
Power
Competence
Usefulness
Belonging
Youth Development for Youth Development for SuccessSuccess
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Identify the Accessible Identify the Accessible Time/Place Time/Place
• The office?
• On the phone?
• Who’s there in the living space?
• Preparing the ground around
• Plant the seeds
• Make opportunities.
• All the time & everywhere
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Listen with RespectListen with Respect
• Listen beyond the words• Repeat actions and
messages of empowerment• Allow for disagreement
without triggering oppositional behavior
• Find areas of agreement• Don’t expect full buy-in• Keep at it
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Know Your Goal and FocusKnow Your Goal and Focus• Talk softly and often about
family connection.• Present thoughts and ideas
for them to consider in their media.
• Partialize the process to the point of acceptance.
• Imagine and help the youth imagine a family connection.
• Don’t expect them to take all the risks.
• Go over it again.
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Using the MediaUsing the Media
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And Your Teen’s View …And Your Teen’s View …What has been his/her experience of
removal and re-removal?
How has s/he experienced the system?
Does s/he have any fears of rejection?
What messages of “independent living” has s/he received?
What is his/her concept of family, and family relationships?
Keep thinking about it.
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Preparing for Family LivingPreparing for Family Living• Deinstitutionalization
• Mutual responsibilities in family living
• Teaching the art of asking questions
• PTSD
• Remembered relationships
• Fantasized relationships
• Hopes and dreams
• Fear of rejection
• Keep teaching about family experiences
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Identifying a Youth’s Identifying a Youth’s NetworkNetwork
• Record search• Asking the youth • Eco-map/Genogram• Remembered people• Asking around• Keep looking
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Preparing a Youth for PublicityPreparing a Youth for Publicity
And other youth-specific family recruitment
Describe the eventExplain your role & the
youth’sPrepare: role play,
practiceDebrief immediatelyStay in touch; continue
to follow up
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Engaging the Youth’s NetworkEngaging the Youth’s Network
• Youth involvement• Invitations• Meetings• Follow up and follow
up
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Mike
Rayleen & Ronald
JamalMarika
Juan
Maya & PJ
ExerciseExercise
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PersistPersist There is no reason to stop.
Weave it into the fabric of your work: whatever else you’re doing, you’re working on permanence.
Have a plan with each youth in your caseload.
Start with a broad plan and get specific in each case.
Return to the broadest focus when necessary.
Focus x Competence x Passion = Adherence