Talera Counsels Sage 26.10.05 - 80kb

8/22/2019 Talera Counsels Sage 26.10.05 - 80kb

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More wisdom for Sage, can't he just accept a good thingwhen its flirting with him? Apparently not.

Liam walks towards the Palace Terrace, the trail of his longcoat billows in the breeze behind him as he nears..8Liam has returned.

t Bernie jumps sage) t there RPed now lemme alone, simpsons on) Jedi_Master_Sage woohoo!] Jedi_Master_Sage : actually, no, that was in ooc so it

doesn't count] Jedi_Master_Sage walks down the corridor of the praxeum

hall and stops at Talera's door. He pauses as heconsiders her situation and knocks

Talera hears the knock and looks up. It was early. Shewondered who it might be as she says" come in,...."

Jedi_Master_Sage opens the door and enters "Talera, I waswondering if you had a moment to spare"

Talera seeing Sage she frowns slightly" sure come onin...Im just perfecting a report for the council.. Have aseat"

Jedi_Master_Sage nods and sits down in a chair acrossfrom her "You've been married more than once, haven't

you?" Talera : no just once... Talera now that was out of the blue. She wondered where

this was going. He had never asked her anythingpersonal like this.

Jedi_Master_Sage : But you were engaged to anotherweren't you?

Talera : no Sage...I was married once and now I am engaged ...why? Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh, I see, I thought the wedding had

already happened. The reason I ask is because I wanted to

talk to you about how you handled the end of your marriage. Talera : to be honest...it handled me. It was very hard. Jedi_Master_Sage : I know the feeling, but I doubt you dealt

with yours as poorly as I did mine. Talera tilts her head and looks at fishface. She smiles

softly" Sage I dont think I have ever seen you handle


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anything poorly." Jedi_Master_Sage :You clearly weren't paying attention

when I learned the news of the death of Desaray's friend Jedi_Master_Sage : I want to know how you managed to

stay away from the darkside during your.. trial Talera : the demise of my marriage I thought happened the day aftermy daughter was born. She was abducted and Baylock left....I

thought he left me. In truth I found out years later he left to find

Taera. I left shortly after he did and didnt look back for

Talera : years. I wasnt a Jedi then. I knew nothing of the force onlythat I could make things happen. I think I avoided darkness purely

by ignorance. Then.

Jedi_Master_Sage : So your lack of a strong connection tothe force, meant your emotions were not as augmented and

amplified by the force? You basically handled the situationas a "normal" being then?8hr_Wr has left the conversation.8rth_Thor has joined the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : wb]rth_Thor : (Thanks)

8rth_Thor is away. Talera : if normal means I hunted sith for fun and smuggled to pay

for my fun. Yes.

Jedi_Master_Sage : But you stayed away from the darkside,rage was not your motivation, justice was, wasn't it? Talera : revenge was my motivation. Again I was not constrained by

the ideas and morals I have now. I thought was if I killed them all

eventually I would find my daughter.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Do you think you touched the darksidethen, as a result of your loss?

Talera : I think if the darkside could have it would have swallowedme up with my despair. But something stubborn in me stopped it.

Something I cant explain.

Jedi_Master_Sage : So you touched the darkside, butresisted it then?8AshaleeWulf has joined the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Ash!]8AshaleeWulf is away.

AshaleeWulf: Sage!))


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Talera : probably touched it yes. Probably danced with it. Butsomething pure within me kept it at bay. Today I think it was my

love for my daughter. Years later my husband showed up on Naboo

looking for me. To my surprise we were still married. I was ..

Talera :involved with someone at the time.

Liam stands up from the bar and moves toward thedrawing pad where he sits down and proceeds to sketcha picture of the fountain statues

Jedi_Master_Sage : Suppose this happened after you hadbeen trained and become a jedi, how do you feel you wouldhave handled it then?

Talera : when he came back I was training...I tried to make it work.It didnt. In the end we had to make a decision. He either would

abdicate and come to Naboo. Or I would leave the order. We both

chose to remain who we were. Jedi_Master_Sage : Suppose the same situation that

happened when your daughter was born happened after youhad been trained instead..8rth_Thor has left the conversation.

AshaleeWulf slinked through the nights shadows similar tothat of a cat on the prowl before she made her waytowards the palace terrace she was dressed fully in blackwith her black cloak's hood up over her head hiding her

red hair she was also wearing a pair Talera : ok....I think I would have been sad. I would grieve for mymarriage and I would find my daughter.

AshaleeWulf of darkened glasses as of late her eyes hadbeen having some troubles with bright lights

Liam narrows his eyes at the garden wall as he spots outof the corner of his eye, what he sees as a silhouette of ashadow

Jedi_Master_Sage : So as a jedi, you would be betterequipped to resist the darkside completely? Having astronger connection to the force, would not make you morevulnerable to grief and despair?

Talera : I think being sentient with emotions makes one vulnerable.I think the understanding of the force that as a Jedi we have...gives

us some valuable tools to navigate our paths successfully.

Jedi_Master_Sage : How would... a relationship itself


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protect one from the pain of loss and despair?AshaleeWulf made her way slowly into the terrace her

gaze drifting over those around8AshaleeWulf has returned.

Liam nods to Ash with a smile, but remains cautious ofanyone who dresses all in black and seems to beattempting to remain concealed

Talera : Sage you cant protect yourself against pain or loss. The keyto pain and loss is to accept them eventually as part of actually

living.

AshaleeWulf inclines her head in response to Liam's nodas she moved to a table and sat down she currently lefther glasses on till her eyes adjusted to the lighting

Liam takes some graphite dust to add shading to th sketch

he is making8hr_Wr has joined the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : wb] Jedi_Master_Sage sighs "So really, its easier to have no

one to lose" t dances around his kitchen starkers as he sings the

muppets sweedish chef song)hr_Wr (Adds computer to her kill list.)hr_Wr : (Thanks)

AshaleeWulf blinks at Boto "just don't pull a three blindmice and cut off something important with a carvingknife Boto"))

Talera nods slightly" easier if the choice you make doesnthaunt you. And if you like the easy path" She wasbeginning to get a glimmer of what this may be about.

t : uh.. no... i wont be doing that.. i need that)hr_Wr Wlaks onto the terrace and looks around,

she walks over to a table and sits down. She lookstowards Liam and then towards Ashalee.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Would you say one who refuses toenter into a relationship and never becomes close toanother, has less vulnerability to the darkside because theyhave no one to lose, as opposed to one who is deeply closeto another, but loses them?

AshaleeWulf inclined her head slightly in greeting to


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Sapphire as she shifted slightly in her seat Liam nods to Sapphire and then to Ash "Hey there, hows

your evening been so far?" Talera : Sage...I think vulnerability comes from the person not the

relationship. If a person refuses to get close to another I think theyjust run the risk of being alone. Loving is a risk even without the

darkside. If you are secure in who you are. I dont

Talera : think you are any more vulnerable that you allow yourself tobe.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Two jedi are twins, identical. trainedfrom birth by the same master and are given the samemissions for many years because they work so welltogether. They each meet twin sisters, each sister falls forone of the jedi brothers..

Jedi_Master_Sage : one jedi falls in love and marries thegirl. the other does not. After the wedding, there is a shuttleaccident that kills both sisters

Jedi_Master_Sage : One jedi has lost his wife, the other haslost one he only met as an acquaintance. Who has more tobe concerned with by the darkside?

Talera : One man grieves his loss and runs the risk of giving in to hispain and the other feels regret for not loving the woman when he

had the chance. Both are at risk . But the one that loved will come

full circle and be so very glad for the time he had toAshaleeWulf 's gaze moved to Liam before she answered"Same old same old and yours?"

Talera : love his wife. And he will have no regrets. Sage we all runthe risk everyday that we may stray from our path. Being mindfull

of our emotions is what keeps up on our path.

Talera : you can be mindfull even during a time of loss. Talera : Loving is hard, Losing is hard. And admittedly there may

be some ease in not really living at all. Existing void of any emotion

or care for another. No family or close friends that you might

mourn one day. Liam : Mostly the same, I'm contemplating whether or not to

give up on my current profession of being a privateinvestigator

AshaleeWulf : and what are you thinking of becoming? Liam : I have no idea, artistry sounds good, but it only pays


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well if you're actually good, I'm ony average. I just get sodamn tired of getting calls from jealous spouses who thinkthey're being cheated

hr_Wr Smiles alittle and pulls out ehr drawing

pad and starts drawing quietly, she looks around slowly Jedi_Master_Sage "Why do you feel so many jedi who haveloved and lost either come close to the darkside or fall toit? While others like myself and Tucker who haveremained single, have not done so?" he refrains frommentioning what he's been exploring with Bernie for>

Jedi_Master_Sage nowAshaleeWulf : so take a hiatus from the jealous spouse

cases and do a trial run on the artist thing? Liam : Thats mostly the plan. It just means having to scrape

by. See, I could get the better cases if I had the rightcontacts. All these former NIA hotshots keep getting thegood jobs because they know people

Talera : since I have become a Jedi..when I was myself. I have notcome close to darkness.

AshaleeWulf : so make some more contacts? Jedi_Master_Sage : But you have never lost Justin, nor

would you have much reason to fear you would, he may wellprobably outlive you

AshaleeWulf was almost channeling Deejay then)) Talera : I lost Zio..... t : hmm?) Talera : as for Justin he is constantly throwing himself in harms way.

It is his job.

Liam : Easily said, What about you? You could pass for anassassin or a biker in that outfit

AshaleeWulf : I hit z instead of s before correcting it)) Jedi_Master_Sage : I thought you never had a chance to

become deeply involved with him?

AshaleeWulf : whose to say I'm not one or the other? t : lol) Liam smirks as he orders a scotch "good point, you want

anything?"AshaleeWulf :juice please?

Liam singles the waitress droid "and a jawa juice"


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Liam : Why they call it that I'll never know Talera I told you that I loved him Sage...you dont recall

that? " She wonders how he would react if he knew thetwins her Zios children. Thankfully her thoughts were

carefully guarded.AshaleeWulf : maybe they squeeze it from Jawa's? ::Ashalee was trying to be funny::

Jedi_Master_Sage :You never said it went deeper than that Liam : heh, scary thing is, I've seen jawas drink it on tatooine Talera : deeper than love? I guess Im not understanding your

defination here. We were in love Sage.....I loved him and he loved

me.

Talera she chuckles softly. Zio had been such a hard loss.8hr_Wr has left the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : But to share an emotion and to expressthat love by entering into a relationship are not the samething, right?

AshaleeWulf : so ya got a name? or should I just call youarty dick?

Talera : what makes you think we didnt have a relationship? Wedated for almost two years.

Liam : I have a name and if you call me that, your assassinskills or biker brawling will get tested very quick. I'm Liam,

you got one too? or do I call you leather babe? Jedi_Master_Sage : I did not realise, I actually thought herefused your advances

AshaleeWulf : names Ashalee but most people tend toshorten it to some variation or another

Talera : um...my advances? Liam : I'll stick with Ash, Lee sounds too much like Li, which

I'm decided about as to whether if I like it or notAshaleeWulf : nice ta meet ya Liam

Jedi_Master_Sage : I thought you expressed interest in himand he refused?

Talera who told you that? " any advances that were madewere mutual and totally private. She knew Sage couldonly go off of rumor or conjecture.

Liam smiles as their drinks arrive "likewise Ash, whatbrings you here to Theed?"


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AshaleeWulf : I lived her for a while then some thingshappened and I've only just sorta arrived back and havebeen trying to readjust

Jedi_Master_Sage :You told me you had feelings for him

ever since he held a stone boob in his hand and was notsure what to do with it. I don't recall you saying it becamemore

Liam You on the run?" he asks quietlyAshaleeWulf >.x chokes on mango liqourice after that

post of Sage's))AshaleeWulf : not last time I checked ::Ash answered just

as quietly:: t Since he saw Bern's boobs, sage has had boob on the

mind)

Talera frowns slightly at that." so you assumed because Ididnt tell you differently , that Zio rebuffed me?" shechuckles softly.

AshaleeWulf : don't tell me fish breath got to first base?)) Jedi_Master_Sage : no, Bern's boob-tube kinda shifted in a

landing >.


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completely different when I returned Talera ha ha sage. Who is the woman you are

considering? The one that makes you ponder all of thesequestions." she was not stupid and Sage had only had

one other conversation like this with her. She had apretty good hunch. Liam :You seem to know your way around here well enough

AshaleeWulf : I remember my way around well enough Jedi_Master_Sage : After this conversation, I'm not sure I

should be considering anyone at all. Talera chuckles softly." Sage...do you realize its fear thats

holding you back?" Liam sips his own drink "So which are you? assassin or

biker?"

Jedi_Master_Sage : Fear of what Talera? Being hurt andfollowing the path of people like Jancin? Is that truely fear orsimple responsibility and acceptance of the truth of theforce?

AshaleeWulf : honestly I have no freckin clue? Liam : Memory loss can really suck. I heard about a jedi who

lost his memory and fell in love as a result Talera : its fear. Plain and simple. Sage you cannot fall unless you

allow it. That goes for darkness as well. Experiencing pain and

love helps us to grow in the force as well. It has helped me becomemore dedicated to my path more determined to stay that

AshaleeWulf : William Harmony yes? Talera : path. Any path you choose is hard. Liam : Think so, in his case, memory loss ruled. I wish I'd

wake up and find that sort of surprise in bed with me t was moving through the gardens, silent... lost deeply

in thought. There was a lot of things plauging his mindright now and he wasn't sure what to do about them. Hewas taking time off, soon, for his family.. for himself.. forhis sanity that had been >

AshaleeWulf kicked Liam's shin beneath the table Liam : ow! hey, what was that for?

8hsw has joined the conversation.AshaleeWulf : becareful buster or you'll be waking up with

a dagger pointed above your heart


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Jedi_Master_Sage : I've faced so many dangers, I've comeclose to being one, must we tread so close to the darkside tobe stronger against it? Is there no mid ground, a balance?

t sliced down to a very thin thread after all that had

happened on Isle. He rubbed his right wrist with his lefthand, there was a scar there, that had come from beforethe Jedi had healed him.. from being partially mendedmany times then... he drew his >

AshaleeWulf : is it just me or does it sound like Sage istalking in circles?))

Jedi_Master_Sage : he is trying to find answers that offermore than risk]]

t mind away from it all.. clenching his jaw a little... andstopped rubbing his wrist.. then pulled his sleeves up

over his hands.. He knew he hadn't even dealt with themental side of things it had all caused properly. If itcame too close to brushing on>

AshaleeWulf : not gonna happen if he keeps chasing hisown tail))

Liam : Been there, done that. Sorry if I touched a nerve, I takeit you know that story from another angle then

Jedi_Master_Sage : he doesn't have a tail]AshaleeWulf : you could say I'm close friends with the

female party Talera : there is a balance in all things. You know this. In the endyou must subscribe to your own brand of thinking. I think that you

are focusoing only on the what if. What if you get hurt. What if

you lose a loved one. What if you fall. I ask you...

AshaleeWulf : he has an ass though)) Talera : what if you dont? Jedi_Master_Sage : Thats quite a gamble, on Naboo alone,

49% of marriages end in divorce. The means, all of thetragedies and the like, happen within the other 51%.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Even if that is halved, my chances arenot in my favour and I suppose.. I'm avoiding that question.

Liam : Is it true she went after someone who was stalking himand scalped her with a meat cleaver?

AshaleeWulf : :: Ash sipped her juice before looking toLiam again::


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AshaleeWulf : no she literally biyatch slapped the princesswho was stalking him

AshaleeWulf : in the throne room no less t those thoughts, he found a way to turn his mind from

them quickly, but he couldn't keep doing that... one daythey would snap out and catch him off guard... he hatedVeddy questioning him on it, he hadn't been prepared toexplain.. not fully.. "focus">

t he whispered to himself, needing to centralize hismind, to settle it onto the good things around..

positives... sure, it sucked, and it haunted him.. and hehad ignored the fact that it had happened since he gotback... but still... he had to find the >

Talera : I guess you at some point have to decide if its worth it. Ifshe is. You will face pain, and loss and you will either grow from itor you will let it consume you. But I will say this. If you live your

life in fear of falling to the darkside. You

Liam laughed softly "cool! I guess that proves the theorythat biker-girls and assassins always beat princesses"

AshaleeWulf : technically that wasn't me Liam : well I'm guessing the friend of yours wasn't at all like a

princessAshaleeWulf : no she was just a very pissed off maje

8hsw has left the conversation. Talera : will eventually have to face that fear. It will come lookingfor you. Wether you have loved or not. All you can do is prepare

yourself as best you can and face it when you meet it. But I

prescribe to the notion that should not prevent us as jedi

Talera : living and loving. We just need to be mindfull . Liam suppresses a shudder as he hears that word but is

unsure why, he guesses it must be a chill from the drink"that works. Did they work out in the end?"

AshaleeWulf : no idea t good in all this... where ever it may appear. Just right

now it was difficult... the one thing, that lifts him upwhen darkness began to succumb him... there wastension there, these bastards had hurt more that way...than all the torture in all time >

AshaleeWulf : everything ok Liam?


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Liam : Oh yeah I'm fine, must be a cold breeze that got downmy shirt

AshaleeWulf : really? it seemed to happen more aroundthe time I said the word Maje

Liam narrows his eyes "I'm quite sure if it is, that it doesn'twork more than once, anyway maje aren't scary, theyheal people, or they did before their world wasimmolated"

t put together. He paused, upon nearing the prax...wondering on yet another tangent in his strange life..wondering on that too.. he had already broken the rulesa few times now, and was a rule breaker by default thathe had the force... maybe, even just>

AshaleeWulf : immolated?

Liam : ruined.. trashed.. lots of firepower t a little more understanding into their ways, may

teach him how to at least be able to draw and find peacesomewhere in this struggle, even if it did not involveextending his use of the force...

AshaleeWulf : :: Ash's eyes narrowed slightly behind herglasses:: by whom?

Jedi_Master_Sage sighs "emotions can be controlled, socan hormones, with the force, one can achieve many

things. Yet the pitful of love.. is entirely something else" Jedi_Master_Sage : Her name is .. well her preferred nameis Bernie.

Liam : No one knows, I think it just got in the way while twofleets were fighting, sorry, I was insensitive

t is half tempted one day to walk into the prax... say Iwant help and watch as they point me to sage)

AshaleeWulf : there are no other Majes left?AshaleeWulf : hehe he who can't even help himself get

some)) t : aye, true) Liam : I'm sure some might have made it off the planet

surface, others would have been away before hand. If Iknew, I'd help you find which dumb fierfek of an admiraldecided he couldn't care about a non-hostile world in themiddle of a firefight


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Talera : pitful? you think the Jedi that had accepted love havesuccumbed to a failing? A pitfall?

Jedi_Master_Sage : I meant a pitfall Talera : my question remians...

Jedi_Master_Sage : No, I think a jedi who does accept love,walks into a field with many traps involved.AshaleeWulf : the fierfek had better be a fast runner if I

ever do find him :: Ash grumbled slightly irritated by thisnews::

Talera : and I think that field is no different that the fields we walkeveryday. Love has its benefits though. So many in fact. I dont

think you see these with your focus being on the fear of pain.

Liam says softly "I take it you're a maje then, is the othergirl your sister? the one who slapped the princess"

Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes, you can become so intertwinedwith another, that you don't know where she begins and youend.. only to find her ripped away because the sith decideyour DNA might be useful for making warriors who areborne of that assassin, who dies when your >

Jedi_Master_Sage : daughter kills her, only to be killed byher husband...

AshaleeWulf : no she was me Liam :You said she wasn't technically you... oh, I get it, the

memory thing... let me guess, you're here to see if the jediwaited for you?

t started slowly into the prax gardens, his handsnestled deep in his pockets as his small, slightly stockyself came to a stop just before the building, he wasn'tgoing to head in, or so he didn't think.. he only knew afew that worked in there, and >

AshaleeWulf : haven't seen him lately and I still don'tcompletely remember everything

Talera : Sage...we should learn from the past to be sure. But you areletting it control you. You are letting it prevent you from

experiencing the good things that are given to us from the force.

And yes I believe love comes from the force. I feel deeply for

t it still posed as a symbol of... not... fear anymore,maybe he was beginning to see it in a wary light assalvation... for the jedi had saved his life now so many


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times, and Talera and Sage and Elianne were jedi, theywere his friends... and they had >

Talera : your loss. Epsilons death was a horrible thing. But youcannot control or predict the future.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh my... Kill me now. I think I realise myproblem. I have issues. I'm sounding like someone on a holotalk show

AshaleeWulf : I think Sage was just hit with the proverbialfrying pan))

t never turned their back on him.. as so manypreviously had. sometimes he felt guilty for placing somuch of his troubles and they had pulled him out somuch crap, as had his friend Justin.. and well.. Dinaywent without saying.. it wasn't hard to know >

Jedi_Master_Sage : Damnit, I'm a jedi, we're supposed tosee the future, yet none of us see the worst come

Talera : you sound like someone you has suffered pain and loss anddont want to go through it again. But even swearing off love wont

stop it from happening. Yes you can control your reaction, you can

control how it effects you. But honestly it doenst stop it.

Talera : if the force wills it...it happens. t how he felt about her.. but that was straying his mind

off of this... Had the closed mindedness that he had been

brought up in... be holding him back.. from at leastfinding peace within himself, especially in situationswhen the night seemed darkest. >

Jedi_Master_Sage : Its not pain I fear Talera, is whathappens when pain comes. I nearly became a sith in myquest to make sense of T'Penn's death and why I couldn'tbring myself to join her. I'm not concerned with being hurt,I'm more worried about what I've seen happen t

Jedi_Master_Sage : to others Jedi_Master_Sage : the only working marriages I've seen

were with Valiant and Cellese who hardly see each other andElianne and Halik.

Liam : I hope it all works out for you, but don't you think he'llhave a hard time seeing you if you're all blending withshadows?

t He had never truly stopped to look at the building, to


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see the beauty it was. It seemed to just exume..calmness, and he closed his eyes, trying to soak it up...to let it ease him.. and his forever spinning head.

Talera nods at that." and those are wise worries. I would

be concerned if you didnt have those worries. and yourspeaking of just Jedi versus Jedi marriages?"8JordlVhiro has joined the conversation.8JordlVhiro is away.

AshaleeWulf : not last time I checked and I don't alwaysblend I'm just having trouble with my eyes and light atthe moment

Jedi_Master_Sage : Of any jedi at all. Darien marriedLianna, he fell for a time. Raelous lost Shatara the day oftheir wedding and we all know how he turned out after that,

all of Lianna's lovers had brushes with the darkside exceptValiant, although he probably did and j

Jedi_Master_Sage :just denied it. Jedi_Master_Sage : Epsilon even went back when Jancin

died and you were hardly a picture of strength when you lostZio.

Liam : That I can relate to, you can get surgery for it, unlessits natural for you?

Talera : the point is Sage how many have returned? Have come full

circle and been the better for it? Loss is part of life. And justbecause I wasnt stoic and unaffected doesnt mean that I was dark.

But that aside....I truly believe some have to come to the

AshaleeWulf : it wasn't and I'd rather not I'll manage I justneed to adjust

Talera : brink or even fall before they can come back better andstronger. Though thats not to say I endorse that path or that

notion.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Less than half, thats how many.8Kym has joined the conversation.8Kym is away.

Jedi_Master_Sage : And for those who do, does it justifythe lives they destroy in the process?

Kym kisses for all )) Talera : life is long Sage. You cant know if that number will improve

.


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Jedi_Master_Sage : Does it justify the lives who I nearlydestroyed had I not stepped away?

AshaleeWulf : laters all)) Liam : laters]

Talera : I am not justifying anything. I am simply saying we all haveour own paths to follow. But you did step away. That I believe isthe answer to all of your questions. You did step away. As have I.

8AshaleeWulf has left the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : I came so close and I'm not sure even

that I can ever redeem what I did to the sith who drew me into the sanctum of Malachor

Jedi_Master_Sage : ..But thats not the point. How do you doit?

t Opened his eyes, studying the building a bit longer, it

had helped ease his head some, it was not as noisy as itusually was, he had only ever found this kind of peaceone other place, and there, he could not go yet... anddespite the fact he knew they >

Jedi_Master_Sage : How do you brave what may happen?Do you just hope that the gamble will pay off? Does it everget easier?

t still loved each other... or at least he thought she stillloved him.. the wound that had been forged ran deep...

and it would take time to heal... but until then, he couldnot live in this closed off state, with memories that toreat him and angered him>

Talera I remain as close to the force as I can. I consult it inall decisions and if I feel myself losing control. I stop andlet it guide me. " she smiles softly." the love I feel frommy children and Justin. And Zio and others I haveloved...was worth the

Talera : gamble the moment I allowed myself to feel it. The rest isgravey. As for getting easier. I have new challenges everyday but

honestly the balance between the love I have for my family and my

path....it has gotten easier to maintain the more I learn.

Talera : and I try to learn everyday. t to a point he feared losing himself in the darkest

depths of his temper. He stepped towards the praxeum,his boots creaking slightly on the steps... could he find a


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balance between his faith, and still somewhat keep to itsteachings, but also allow >

t himself some freedom... to be.. himself, if not inpublic, at least... in the privacy of his own life, of his

friends and family, not having to fear what they wouldthink if they knew... he had this... what had Talera calledit.... Gift?

Jedi_Master_Sage : The balance.. it lies within the learningsthat precede the challenges..

Talera : the learnings come from the challenges.JordlVhiro was sitting next to her garden within the

prax garden, she was meditating. All thought andmovement held as she allows the energies of the forceto sweep her away,the warm peacefulness relaxing and

gentle. Jedi_Master_Sage : Much like the path of the jedi itself. Talera : nods slightly." I dont believe i would be who I am today

without those challenges. That includes all the pain and all the loss

and all the times I thought I might fall. But in the end here I sit .

Secure in the knowledge that I didnt fall. It didnt

t he moved not a step further forward... torn betweenheading inside, this time it was more than just a visit totalera... for advice on some matters... well.. it was, in a

way... but to him, to arrive at even fully allowing himselfto suggest this.. > Talera break me. And I am better for having allowed love

into my life. And my family is better for me loving them" Jedi_Master_Sage : My family... t compromise allowing himself to take that step

further... at being more open minded... it wasn't theforce he feared... it was himself.8-Taki_Takahashi- has joined the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : taki]-Taki_Takahashi- : Sage)

8-Taki_Takahashi- is away. Talera tilts her head and looks at him carefully..." your

family?.." she urges gently. Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh, it doesn't matter, thats getting too

far ahead of myself.


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Talera : please Id like to know what you were thinking.... Jedi_Master_Sage : Well, if things do work with us,

introducing Bernie to my parents would be either interestingor disastrous. I don't know how they'd feel about me being

with someone of her background, which is very tame bysome standards. But while my parents are more > Jedi_Master_Sage : liberal minded than those of some

provinces, even they have limits of what they see asacceptable8-Taki_Takahashi- has left the conversation.

Talera blinks a moment. there was the name. Why was itfamiliar? She couldnt place it. Think!" Her background?"

JordlVhiro All the fear, any anger or negative emotionseemed to flow away, leaving in its wakes this serene

feeling of being connected to something higher. A peaceloving feeling tingling from deep inside, to tingle alongher nerve endings. Deeping meditation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : It involves magazines, not the core ofher career, but enough to draw disapproval from people ofGaia, unless you venture into the wildlands

Talera : oh my... Talera she smiles." sage she may be just what you need."

she ribbed him gently. Imagine Sage with a wild woman.

Jedi_Master_Sage : In the wildlands, she'd be mocked forbeing so inhibited and her lack of adventure Talera laughs softly" your kidding..." t slipped into the entrance hall of the prax finally, as if

finally making a decision, he did not want thesememories to rule him, and he was not going to take theeasy way out and ask someone to remove them fromhim... he had to face this himself, as >

Jedi_Master_Sage : No, in the wildlands, are Gaians whobelieve that blood fire is not something to be controlled, butto be let loose. They do not experience it every ten yearswith small sparks in between, they live it like a bonfire everynight. Marriage is meaningless

Jedi_Master_Sage : to them t difficult as it would be... he had to learn how to do

more than shove these things aside. He slipped past the


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desk... telling them that he was looking for someone,which in a way was true, and he would know where tofind them... if they would allow him>

Talera : oh my,,,how carnal. Is there no jealousy?

8Liam has left the conversation.8Jay_Ley_Shallag has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : Only if you don't share Talera laughs softly" oh wow I never knew your heritage

was so....impassioned." t to venture forth... and for the sake of argument, and

the fact... Dee would vouch for him... he they let himthrough... his booted feet echoing as they hit the solid

prax floor. For a change he was taking his time, not surewhere he was going, or if he >

Kym rlls over on bed, wrapping the sheets around herfurther

Kym : Jay Jay )) Jedi_Master_Sage :jay]

Jay_Ley_Shallag : key )Jay_Ley_Shallag : kym ))Jay_Ley_Shallag : sage)

t would even find anyone here to talk to, but the calmalone in here was enough to at least make it easier for

him to centre himself... Jedi_Master_Sage : Not mine, I am within the imperial

domain which is the greater portion of civil Gaia. But everyten years of our adult lives.. yes, passionate it is. Unlessyou're a jedi and use the force to control it.8Jay_Ley_Shallag is away.8JordlVhiro has left the conversation.

t runs into tallys office, sits on the desk in some paddyrobes then tears them off to show he would never

abandon his black leather pants and black shirt... ) Jedi_Master_Sage jedi boto? thats just wrong]] Talera : How interesting...So every ten years your hot to trot? What

year are you right now?

Talera : lol) t : no sith sherlock, aint ever gunna happen) t brb, then i might come bug yas )


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Jedi_Master_Sage : No, I carefully balance myneurochemistry so I don't die from an imbalance and i'm 117,my last spark was a month ago.

Jay_Ley_Shallag : half opens an eye ..grabbing the sheet

and try to yank some of it back Talera : I see...Kym roles back over so he can have some sheets "areyou awake?"

Jedi_Master_Sage : Sparks are easy to suppress, a humanwith a strong will could do so

t : back, so can i bug huh huh huh?)Jay_Ley_Shallag sleepily.."mayby, I am not sure"

Jedi_Master_Sage : IF YOU BLOODY MUST] Jedi_Master_Sage snickers]

Kym blinks)) Talera : sparks are what you have every ten years? t fine i wont then)

Kym slipos an arm around him "i'm sorry"8nglza has joined the conversation.

Jay_Ley_Shallag ..kisses her .."for what"Jay_Ley_Shallag : angeleeza))Kym angel ))Kym : for the way i've been lately

nglza in the Prax the little girl wings and all walksthough the corradors to knock on who she thinks iselainne's room but its Talera room

Jedi_Master_Sage : No, "sparks" is a term given to a smallburst of hormonal drive. Bloodfire is what happense everyten years and its like being so horny, you feel like your bloodis on fire, its the mating frenzy

t continued up the halls, passing tallys office on theway, but he was moving slower through the halls, his

eyes closed... as if just soaking up the feeling this placehad to offer... he needed to know how to reach this...calm, without this building, and >

Jedi_Master_Sage : leeza]nglza : Hi boto

Talera : and you get this? Jedi_Master_Sage : "sparks" happen a few times a year,


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more often with some than othersJay_Ley_Shallag raises an eyebrow .."you've had your

reasons" Talera : you get this blood fire?

Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes but I've been able to quell it. Its allhormones in the end, its like playing an instrument whilesomeone is shaking it.

Jedi_Master_Sage nods "every ten years since I was 20. Ihave only succumbed to it once, when I was married,that can't be avoided"

t when Dinay wasn't around.. he couldn't be the manshe deserved if he let the torture he had been througheat him up... sap who he was. He was so lost in this... hedidn't even know he had paused outside tallys office, nor

did he hear any voices...Kym nods "i know but i'm better now"

Talera laughs softly at that. " nice analogy. So when Iasked before about what year you were in. I was askingabout blood fire. "

nglza : Boto... are you ok Jedi_Master_Sage : My next cycle is three years away,

provided I don't have an early cycle.Jay_Ley_Shallag ..smiles.."does that mean, I don't get to

brush your hair anymore" Talera well my only caution to you is not to make and lifealtering decisions when that time comes. "

Jedi_Master_Sage : I doubt I'd ever allow a cycle to followthrough, I've become too used to it by now.8nglza is away.8rth_Thor has joined the conversation.8rth_Thor is away.

Kym looks upo a little "you can brush myt hair if you

want to"nglza : hi thorn))Jay_Ley_Shallag grins.."you seemed to enjoy it"

Jedi_Master_Sage : wb] Jedi_Master_Sage : Besides, there is no passion, there is

serenityrth_Thor (Angeleeza, thanks Sage)


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t here, in this state, he could deal with the memoriesof his torture, he may still need some help, but.. if hecould reach this state.. be in a place where he didn't fearwhat would happen if he thought about it, he could talk

it out, clearly empty the > t heavy pain it pressed against his soul... here, in aplace where his rage towards all the interconnectedevents that had led and stemmed from the pain he hadsuffered, not only physically, but mentally... would not tiphim to that ire where he would >

Kym snuggles up real close "it was soothiong"rth_Thor : Walks down the tomb's hall and looks around

slowly, she slides off her hood and lets her long brown hair hangdown and cover her shoulders.

t blockade himself fully... withdraw from those hecared about... out of fear

rth_Thor (Darn enter button)nglza : she puts her hand on to boto to try and get him to

hear her." boto what is wrong why wont you see me. am I

invisible."Jay_Ley_Shallag : chuckling "it was good fun, although I

think to go to hairdresser school first"rth_Thor Walks down the tomb's hall and looks

around slowly, she slides off her hood and lets her longbrown hair hang down and cover her shoulders. Shelooks around the main area slowly and wonders slightly.

Kym smiles a little then sits up an dlooks at him "alexkissed me"

Jay_Ley_Shallag ...with out any jealousy.."did you kiss himback?"

Kym shakes her head "of course not!"Jay_Ley_Shallag smiles.."I Love you and trust you, so I

know you would be try to your heart and I think I knowwhere it lays"Kym nods "i love you" points at his chest "noone else"

t startled slightly at the hand on him.. and turned tolook at Leeza... sighing softly, she had broken that peacehe had been sapped up in, and he bit his lower lip amoment, trying not to let his annoyance to that show... it


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was so hard for him to find > t peace.. when it was infact broken, it disapointed him

"yeer ain't invisable... I were jus'... eh, dinnae matter"nglza : boto. You friend of leeza. much trouble in heart.

need talk to me find peace. matters i think it does please letleeza help

Jedi_Master_Sage : Besides, there is no passion, there isserenity [repost]

t nae..." he said simply.. there was no way in hell hewas letting a child know that which burdened him "ain'tfer yeer ears"

Talera : ty sorry) Talera : yes thats very true...

Jedi_Master_Sage : np]Jay_Ley_Shallag looking at her face.."you are looking muchbetter, hardly a mark left"

Talera : Have I been any help to you at all Sage?nglza : leeza knows death leeza was weeks with her dead

family before jedi found her. leeza knows war father. Leeza

see many things so eyes heart and soul wish to help boto Jedi_Master_Sage :Yes you have, thank you so much

Talera. I have more to think about. I am still unsure of some

things, but I'm closer now than before t "leeza... nae..." he said, unable to hide the slight

annoyance in his tone "tis sumting i need tae speak taean adult bout" he didn't mean to snap at the girl, but hehad been in such a clearer place, where he could try andsort this out, and she had >

Talera nods slightly" I am so pleased that I can help you insome small way. And I amd rooting for you to give it atry. Someone needs to be loved by you. "

Jedi_Master_Sage : I seriously doubt that, but I appreciatethe sentiment.Kym smiles "i'm glad, the bar staff kept giving me

funny looks" t broken that.. it was... dissapointing to say the least...

and he glanced around himself... seeing where he was,his blue eyes settling onto Tallys office door... "scuse me"


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he said to the girl, and moved away from her, going toknock on the door.. open >

t or not Talera looks up hearing the knock. She raises an eyebrow

as she wasnt expecting anyone. " I wonder who that is.Come in?"Jay_Ley_Shallag :just be gald they didn't offer any funny

drinks..they have experimenting..some tasted interestingto saly the most

nglza : i knock earler noone answer Jedi_Master_Sage looks to the door t Leeza... sorry.. juz' lemme alone please... " he let

himself into Talera's office, looking slightly annoyed, andbeing the bastard he was when annoyed, he closed thedoor before the girl could enter.. he did not want a childaround to hear anything he>

t may speak aboutKym : diferent spicies prefer differnt combinations

t :jus') Jedi_Master_Sage : Boto, we were talking about a friend of

yours. Talera : Paul? hello..come in. Have you met Master Sage? oh I see

you have. Have a seat Paul.

nglza knocks on the door againJay_Ley_Shallag : yeah..that the gameroan grog mix is

strong enough to knock out a cownglza she is so worried about her friend.

Jedi_Master_Sage : Paul?8rth_Thor has left the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage goes to the door and peeks out "Yes?"nglza : boto very sad need friend. may I enter please.

t "tell tha' bloody kid tae knick off..shes sweet an' all..

bu' nae righ' now... " he looked to Sage.. hoping the manwould kinda understand he was here for a reason,kinda... "hey tally... sage... " he settle back into a seatwith a sigh

Talera looks at paul. She frowns slightly." who is outthere?" She asks Paul.

Jedi_Master_Sage : I'm not sure he's in the mood right now


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t :Leeza... Jedi_Master_Sage : MEH!!!!!!] Jedi_Master_Sage MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH!!!!]

nglza : he has big worry sad heart . he needs friends now.

he is my friend. friends stick by and stay even when thingsbad

Jedi_Master_Sage :You are a... SHADOW JEDI - Neitherlight nor dark, you control your own life and you do whatyou want to]]

t : lmfao) Jedi_Master_Sage :

http://quizilla.com/users/Shinoku/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Jedi%20Are%20You%3F/ I got that above result ]]

Talera : LMFAO!!)8Mood has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage stoopid fricken quiz]]

8Mood is away. t Leeza! jus' go... I'll talk tae ye later..." he paused for a

moment, wishing to find that peace back... but losing ithad really pissed him off

Jay_Ley_Shallag looking down at kym snugled into thecrook of his elbow.."so ready now to start thinking aboutgetting married"

t :Mooda) Jedi_Master_Sage : hmm.. Leeza, friends also give friends

space when they wish it. Talk to him when he is ready, ok? Talera : You are a Light Jedi!))) )

nglza : I am a light jedi ) Jedi_Master_Sage : i got shadow jedi !!!! ARGH] Jedi_Master_Sage : [try to process this.. *I* got shadow] Talera : we get it we get it. even you are flawed. LOL)

nglza : Its very apt) t lmfao... ~hands sage an angel~)

Mood He meditates, inside the praxeum gardens. Hedoes this so often, that usually one can almostguarantee his presence within the praxeum gardens...sitting atop of an old tree stump.

Mood : hey))


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8Wraaaul has joined the conversation. Talera : Paul what is the problem? Something is wrong...

Mood : Wraaaul ()b)))Mood : give ya a propper beer))

Talera : Hey moodles)Wraaaul : Afternoon all, )nglza : a burden shared is a burden halved if you me

canceller ellaine be there it be quateredMood : hey talera ))Kym nods "i noticed"Wraaaul : Out interesting happened recently?)

Jedi_Master_Sage "be patient Leeza, he'll see you whenhe's ready, please, don't push this further, when he

wants the burden halved, you will know, excuse me" heasks as he closes the doorJay_Ley_Shallag : I only say this as the left few days, you

have been in your shell and not really thinking about thewedding

t rubbed his hand over his face... ignore the child atthe door now, he would let Sage handle it "sorry Tally, Idinnae mean tae come by here like this, tings werecatchin me, an' I dinnae, I jus' followed me feet here...felt able tae kinda deal fer a bit>

nglza turns around then runs down the hall crying... t till leeza dredged me outta 't suddenly"

Kym : i know ..i'm sorry, i'm ready tp start thinkingabout ti again now!

Jay_Ley_Shallag : smiles good..because after marriageceramony comes the honeymoon

t ignoring^)nglza her friend is mad at her and doesnt want her ...

it hurt so much she runs out side into the prax garden

and flies into a tree crying there. Talera : start at the beginning...What exactly is upsetting you?

Kym smiles "i know" Jedi_Master_Sage : Do you want me to go?

Mood in the distance he heard the crying of a girl?woman? outside..... his eyes flutter slightly as his mind is


27/29

brought from the Force to reality. Projecting his sensesout, he feels the presence of another in the gardens. Atthis time, usually no one is >8liv has joined the conversation.

8liv is away.Wraaaul : Oliva)Mood >here. He rises, and hops off the tree stump with

a small grunt. He lands, and his hand stretches out,grasping his gimer stick. "Hello?" he says calling out tothat someone...

Mood : Oliva )) t looked between sage and tally "I interupted

sumting?" he asked, not answering tallys question yet...he didn't want to just walk in and steal the floor... if they

had been discussing something importantKym : oliva ))

Talera Im fine with you staying sage..." she turns to Paul."is it alright with you Paul?"

Jedi_Master_Sage : We were just finished.8liv has left the conversation.

nglza : cries in the leaves of the tree her small bodyshaking with sadness... then she hears a voice.. maybe boto ...

" boto I sorry I upset you.."Kym : later all))8Kym has left the conversation.

Jedi_Master_Sage : dark jedi, yeah baby, more like it]]Mood He sees a small girl, no more than 6 or 7 years of

age. Over the years of human contact, Mo'oda had justbegun to be able to gage the age levels of the humanchild."Hmmm, boto, I am not." he smiled. At 2' 6" tall, hewas dwarfed by many children.

t "aye... stay sage.. yeer both knae me.. tis fine.. jus'dinnae wan' a lil lass round.. " he had taken his handsout his pockets and was rubbing at his wrost.. a twitchhe got when thinking about everything...

t wrist^)Mood humanoid*))

Jedi_Master_Sage : How can we help you?


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8Jay_Ley_Shallag has left the conversation.Wraaaul : I gotta bail, will be back later, adios/)Mood : cya fur ball ))

8Wraaaul has left the conversation.

Talera sits back down in her chair and crosses her legs asshe waits for Paul to begin. She assumes Sage will sitagain as well.

nglza : looks down at the very small jedi .. " are you awhill "

Jedi_Master_Sage sits downMood he nodded. "Yess. Much you know about different

races, I see, hmmmm. Know my people, many childrendo not..." he steps froward towards her. "Crying, why

were you hmmm?" he asked calmly. t looked between the two of them then to his hands"show me, teach me please how tae feel tha' peace.. Ifel' out there.. how tae... find 't meself.. so I ken deal wit'these tings in me head, so I ken talk tae Dinay, witout allthis eatin me, so I ken >

nglza :you wish for me to fly down to you? t help her heal... 'f I dinnae learn, how tae come tae

terms... wit' this... tis gunna eat me up.... an' hurt those Ilove.. I kenna do tha' anymore... "

Mood he smiled. He always looked up, so this wassomthing he was not unfamiliar with. "If you wish it" hesaid with a calm peace. He always had a soft spot forchildren. Often they tested patience and many qualitiesof a Jedi to an extreme, but also they were>

Talera looks at Paul...was he asking to be trained as a Jedi?she was thunderstruck. He was the last person shethought would want that path. However she thoughtthat perhaps he may make a very good one." what

exactly are you asking ?"Mood >innocent teachers. And mo'oda had always

enjoyed their presence.Mood : O.O Boto... a Jedi? wow..... A minstrel Jedi I

think thats cool))nglza opening her wings she flies up into the air

smoothly and then slowly glides down to land almost


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silently beside mooda t think again short stuff... i am NOT beoming a jedi)

Mood one could hope...))Mood he watched her fly down. "Now. Disturbs you,

what does, hmmm?" he asked quietly. Both hands restedon his gimer stick. "Mention Boto's name, you did..." heprodded. He vaugly knew Boto... the troubled man downby the dock..... now it was comming back to >

Mood >him. A curious fellow. Jedi_Master_Sage "Talera, I might let you handle this,

thank you once again. I hope all goes well Boto" hestands and leaves the office

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Talera Counsels Sage 26.10.05 - 80kb