Taking Care of Elderly Parents

8/8/2019 Taking Care of Elderly Parents

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Taking Care of Elderly ParentsSome images had to be removed for copyright purposes.



AHH--- T

HE GOOD OLDD AYS (1920-1929)

Life expectancyLife expectancy

Male 53.6Male 53.6

Female 54.6Female 54.6

BUT THINGS WEREBUT THINGS WERE MUCH MUCH BETTER BY 1935BETTER BY 1935

Male 59.9Male 59.9




WHAT ABOUT NOW?Male 75.7Male 75.7


MORE PEOPLE 65+ IN U.S.MORE PEOPLE 65+ IN U.S.

THANTHAN

All of CanadaAll of Canada About 200 other nationsAbout 200 other nations



A FORBIDDEN SUBJECT A FORBIDDEN SUBJECT

³I have seldom been in an

unstructured conversation about oldage with anybody, young or old, that

lasted more than five minutes.´



DIFFERE

NTD

IFFERE

NTS ANDWICHESS ANDWICHES

TR ADITIONALTR ADITIONAL

CLUBCLUB

OPEN F ACEDOPEN F ACED

More than 25% of American

families are involved in some waywith elder/parent care. ---- Carol AbayaCarol Abaya



SOME TOUGH QUESTIONSWHEN

do I spend time with my parents?

do I spend time with myspouse/children?

do I spend time with God?

do I spend time with me?WHERE do I find resources?

HOW do I get rid of the feeling of guilt?



THE BIBLE & AGINGHonest about its effects --Eccl. 12:1-7

Respect -- Lev. 19:32; Prov. 16:31

Honor & Respect for ParentsEx. 20:12

Matt. 19:19

Matt. 15:1-9; Mark 7:1-131 Timothy 5:18



BIBLE EX AMPLESGenesis 47:11Genesis 47:11--1212

Matt. 8:14; Mark 1:29Matt. 8:14; Mark 1:29--31; Luke 4:3831; Luke 4:38--3939

John 19:26John 19:26--2727

DOES THIS SOUNDDOES THIS SOUND

F AMILIAR?F AMILIAR?Proverbs 30:11Proverbs 30:11--1414



BUTH

OW DOESI

T WORKIN THE ³RE AL WORLD?´W AIT UP

SPE AK UP

TURN UP

RISE UP



PLE A

SE DON

OTGIVE ME SPINACH!! I KNOW WHAT I DO AND DO

NOT LIKE.

I KNOW HOW I W ANT TO BE

TRE ATED.

I KNOW HOW I VIEW LIFE.



TWO VIEWS OF AGING

WORLD CHRISTIAN

Verse 2 of ³I Know

Who Holds

Tomorrow´

Psalm 37:25

2 Cor. 4:16



GENER AL CL ASSIFIC ATIONSYour Aging Parents; When and How to Help

Margaret Anderson

M ATURE

ROCKIN

G-CHAI

RSELF-PROTECTIVE

BITTER

SELF-DEROG ATORY



OLD AGE IS NOT FOR

SISSIES Art Linkletter

Irrespective of individual status or achievement, Senior Americans have the rightto expect to be held in high esteem and treatedwith consideration and dignity because of agealone.

Senior Americans have the right toindependence, privacy and choice of persons

with whom they live and associate; they alsohave the right not to fear abridgement of thoserights because of advancing age.



In all instances where decisions governing

personal health are concerned, Senior Americans have the right to complete andaccurate information necessary to ensurefreedom of choice in selection of health careservices. They have the further right to expectmedical treatment from persons whose

knowledge is strengthened with compassionand whose judgment is governed by moralrestraint.

Senior Americans have the right to managetheir financial affairs, as well as the right to

complete information and full disclosure of possible consequences from those throughwhom they seek assistance with themanagement of those affairs.



Senior Americans have the right tofreedom from fear of mental andphysical abuse, as well as fromchemical or physical restraint except inmedical emergencies.

Senior Americans have the right to theinformation and assistance needed toensure a continuing healthy lifestyle.

Senior Americans have the right to

choose how and with whom they spendleisure time, as well as the right toexpect considerate assistance whenthey travel.



YOU¶VE GOT

THE WRONG IDE AOlder and Wiser: Wit, Wisdom and Spiritual

Advice from the Older Generation by Eric W.

Johnson

³PROBLEM´ PERCEPTION

RE A

LITY

LONELINESS 65% 13%

NOT NEEDED 54% 7%

POOR HE ALTH 47% 21%

BOREDOM 37% 6%NO FRIENDS 28% 5%



PLE ASE T ALK TO MEYour Aging Parents; When and How to Help

SECURITY

ASSOCIATION WITH OTHERS

RECOGNITION OF KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS

AUTONOMY

³Christians who are elderly speak

of a hope that their children willremain true to their faith.´

Job 12:12



ACTIONS SPE AK LOUDER

THAN WORDS J AMES 2:14-26

± Relationship between faith & works

± Relationship between words & action³GIVING THE BLESSING

TO YOUR P ARENTS´Family Matters Handbook; pp. 376-377

ME ANINGFUL TOUCH

SPOKEN WORDS

HIGH VALUE

SPECIAL FUTURE



³OF ALL THE WAYS YOU³OF ALL THE WAYS YOUCAN BLESS YOURCAN BLESS YOUR

PARENTS, THE GENUINEPARENTS, THE GENUINE

COMMITMENT TO WALKCOMMITMENT TO WALKWITH YOUR PARENTSWITH YOUR PARENTS

THROUGH EACH STEPTHROUGH EACH STEP

IN LIFE ISIN LIFE ISPARTICULARLYPARTICULARLY

IMPORTANT AT THE ENDIMPORTANT AT THE END

´́



TRY W ALKING A MILE IN

MY SHOES BEFORE YOU

CRITICIZE ME LUKE 12:6-7

± God knows us as individuals

± We are valuable to Him as individuals

JOHN 3:16

JUDE 22-23 2 COR. 2:15-16

INDIVIDU ALITY OF F AMILIES



WHAT GOES AROUND

COMES AROUNDG AL. 6:7-8

1-4; bearing each other¶s burdens

9-10 ± Not weary in well-doing

± Taking advantage of opportunities to dogood to all

7-8 ± May not be all ³churchy´ things

± May involve getting hands dirty helpingpeople



S ATCHEL P AIGE W AS RIGHT

(SORT OF)³Donna, don¶t ever look back or

second-guess yourself. You made the

best decision you could at the time

with the information you had.´

OUR LORD W AS RIGHT

( ALW AYS)Matt. 6:34Matt. 6:34



Just do remember:Just do remember:

There is no one right wayThere is no one right way or or

wrong way to "do" elder/parent wrong way to "do" elder/parent

care.care.

Every situation and relationshipEvery situation and relationship

is different.is different.

There is no magic wand to makeThere is no magic wand to make

a tough situation better.a tough situation better.---- CarolCarol

Abaya Abaya



SOME THOUGHTS

FROM A ³NON-EXPERT´ It is a seasonIt is a season

There is a reasonThere is a reason

I was not the perfect child when they wereI was not the perfect child when they were

rearing me and I will not be the perfect sonrearing me and I will not be the perfect son

or daughter now.or daughter now.

I still am of value to God and so are myI still am of value to God and so are myelderly parents.elderly parents.

We all need some ³netWe all need some ³net--holders.´holders.´

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Taking Care of Elderly Parents