Take out your typed draft!

Our Learning Goal

• To view our own work with a critical eye and practice our writing skills by using the writing process.

Edit Palooza 2014!

• Take out a correcting pen and a highlighter.• Today we will make corrections, and add notes

for ourselves.• You are editing your own paper today.

Heading

• Heading should be in the upper left hand corner.

• According to MLA, it should be double spaced.– This may vary from class to class.

Font and Size

• Times New Roman• Size 12 12

• The essay needs to be Double Spaced.

Title

• Your title will be in the center of the page, one space from the heading.

• The title will be UNIQUE• The title is the same size and font and is NOT

underlined.

Introductory Paragraph

• Indent using the “tab” key.• Hook: Did you start off with a catchy hook?– Did you use a dogbarf question?! Change it!

• Link: The Link provides some background, (mentions the book title and author), and ties the hook in with the thesis.

• Thesis: Is the last sentence of your intro paragraph.

Thesis

• Does your thesis have a subject and an opinion?

Body Paragraph 1

• Only hit “return” or “enter” once then indent using “tab”

• Do you have a Topic Sentence?– A broad statement that supports the thesis and

essentially tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.

Commentary

• Do you have at least two commentary sentences for each CD?

• Do you have a minimum of 4-6 sentences?• Commentary is IMPORTANT! These sentences

explain your quotes and facts!

• These sentences give your opinion and explanation of the topic!

Concrete Details

• You should have at least two quotes or facts in each body paragraph. You may use more.

• Did you use parenthetical notation? (page 2)• Are your quotes properly punctuated?– This is apparent when George says “You silly

goose! Those are my yams” (Steinbeck 5).• The Concrete Details back up what you are

saying! They prove your point!

Example

• If you were chatting with a friend, you might COMMENT that Mrs. Hall is gross.

• Your friend would be all “What!?”• Then you would back up your comment with a

fact/concrete detail:– “Dude, she does not wash her clothes; I saw her drool

soup on her sweater, then the next time she wore it, the soup spot was still there. Sick, yo.” (further the idea with more CM) I’m surprised they let a dirty bird like her work with children—not the best role-model.”

Concluding Sentence

• Does your body paragraph end with a sentence that wraps up the information?

• Does your CS transition into the next paragraph?

Body Paragraph Length

• Body paragraphs should be at least eight (8) sentences long.

Count your Body Paragraphs

• You should have at least 3 body paragraphs.

Conclusion

• Restate the thesis. Start your conclusion by putting your thesis into different words.

• Summarize your main points: remind the reader about your “proof”

• The last sentence should “open it up to the world.”– This means, leave the reader still thinking about

your paper. How does this topic relate to life? If you made a bold claim, end with a call to action.

Organization

• Did you order your body paragraphs?– Second strongest– Weakest– Strongest

Circle the following

• Go through your paper and circle the first person pronouns.– I– Me– We– You– Us

• This essay is literary analysis so it must be in 3rd person!

Notice

• Notice how often you used a phrase such as:– I believe– I think– I feel– In my opinion– Etc.

• This is weak; we can make sentences stronger by simply stating what we think.

Highlight

• Highlight weak words:– A lot– Stuff– Things– Very– Kind of– Shows– Really – Any other weak ones?!

Were you focused?

• Did you stick to your thesis?• Or did you go astray and explain other topics?

Alignment

• Align your paragraphs to the LEFT

Book Title

• Book titles must be italicized.• To Kill a Mockingbird• Of Mice and Men• Short stories are in quotes:• “The Scarlet Ibis”

Tense

• When writing about literature, we always use present tense.

• Write about the story as if it is happening right now!

Be DETAILED

• Write as if the reader does not know you!• Would this essay make sense to an outsider?

You can assume the reader is familiar with the book, but they don’t know YOU.

• Professional, formal, TUXEDO writing. No jeans or sweatpants.

Now go fix your draft!

• *You do not need to go through the rest of the slides.

Peer Edit

• When you finish editing your own paper, have at least one person read over your essay.

• The purpose is NOT to be rude OR passive and nice—notice elements your writer did well, misspelled, repeated, etc.

• Pick out 1 excellent word your partner used and write it on the board.

• Lastly, have your partner read your paper out loud to you.

Using “I”• Here is an example of how using the first person can make the

writing clearer and more assertive:• Original example:

– In studying American popular culture of the 1980s, the question of to what degree materialism was a major characteristic of the cultural milieu was explored.

• Better example using first person: – In our study of American popular culture of the 1980s, we explored the

degree to which materialism characterized the cultural milieu.• The original example sounds less emphatic and direct than the

revised version; using “I” allows the writers to avoid the convoluted construction of the original and clarifies who did what.

Using “I”• Here is an example in which alternatives to the first person would be

more appropriate:• Original example:

– As I observed the communication styles of first-year Carolina women, I noticed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

• Better example: – A study of the communication styles of first-year Carolina women revealed

frequent use of non-verbal cues.• In the original example, using the first person grounds the experience

heavily in the writer’s subjective, individual perspective, but the writer’s purpose is to describe a phenomenon that is in fact objective or independent of that perspective. Avoiding the first person here creates the desired impression of an observed phenomenon that could be reproduced and also creates a stronger, clearer statement.

Using “I”

• Here’s another example in which an alternative to first person works better:

• Original example:– As I was reading this study of medieval village life, I noticed that

social class tended to be clearly defined.• Better example:

– This study of medieval village life reveals that social class tended to be clearly defined.

• Although you may run across instructors who find the casual style of the original example refreshing, they are probably rare. The revised version sounds more academic and renders the statement more assertive and direct.

Using “I”

• Here’s a final example:• Original example:

– I think that Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases, or at least it seems that way to me.

• Better example: – Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to

contemporary cases.• In this example, there is no real need to announce that

that statement about Aristotle is your thought; this is your paper, so readers will assume that the ideas in it are yours.