Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Lesson 1Forgiving ........................................................................3Job 7:11-21; Psalm 22:1-11

Lesson 2Forgiving Self ..................................................................8Exodus 34:6-7; John 21:15-17; Matthew 27:3-5

Lesson 3Forgiving Others ............................................................13Matthew 18:15-35

Lesson 4Being Forgiven ..............................................................18Psalm 51:6-14

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prepare Before the SessionRead the session for today in the Study Guide. Then read the options in this Teaching

Guide, placing checkmarks beside the activities you plan to include. After you have decidedwhich options to use, gather the appropriate materials.

WHAT’S IN YOUR TEACHING GUIDE

This Teaching Guide has three purposes:➤ to give the teacher tools for focusing on the content of the session in the Study Guide.➤ to give the teacher additional Bible background information.➤ to give the teacher variety and choice in preparation.

The Teaching Guide includes two major components: Teacher Helps and Teacher Options.

Teacher Helps

Teacher Options

Find Relevance helps you zero in on why eachsession is important for theadults you teach.Seek Understandingpresents helful Bible Backgroundinformations and insights that will helpyou better understand the Scripture.

Teaching Outlineprovides you with an outlineof the main themes in theStudy Guide. My Teaching Plan is aconvenient place for you tomake notes for teaching thesession.

Offer Illustrations presents material that will help you painta picture of the session. This section often presents items fromchurch history, current events, or interesting anecdotes thathelp introduce the session.Discussion provides teaching activitiees that will help learnersdiscuss the Scripture text.Questions presents multiple collections of questions forvarious kinds of adults.Involve Learners helps learners become actively involvedwith the Scripture text for a particular session.Closure gives you a means for wrapping up the session.

You Can Choose!There is more material in each session than you can use, so choose the options from each sectionto tailor the session to the needs of your group.

Find RelevanceWhy do/should adults careabout this session? Central to

any human relationship is theneed for forgiveness. As

Christians we are defined by our relation-ship with God through Jesus Christ.Meanwhile, the health of our relationshipwith God serves as a mirror for all ourother relationships. When we know love,forgiveness, justice, and mercy with God,we can also know these blessings withother people who are important to us.

The concept of seeking and acceptingforgiveness from God is familiar to allChristians. In fact, for many, this forgive-ness from and reconciliation with Godthrough Jesus Christ is defined as salva-tion. There is, however, an element offorgiveness in this relationship that maybe less familiar and, for many of us, evena bit uncomfortable to conceive: the ideaof forgiving God. But consider, althoughforgiveness is typically thought to implyan offense, it can also mean “release.”Having said this, in what sense do we“release” God? When we experience painand disappointment, whether warrantedor otherwise, we often harbor feelings ofresentment, frustration, even angeragainst God. Like it or not, we findourselves needing to “release” God andthereby ourselves from those feelings.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? Frustration toward

God is the overarching themecharacterizing our passage.

Convinced that God has deliberatelysought to make his life miserable, Jobshakes his fist at Heaven for all thetragedies in his life. In a word, Job istrying to make sense of the senselessnessof his trials (Terrien and Scherer, 964).

As for the psalm, scholars debate itsorigin. Some believe it clearly prophesiesabout Jesus’ pain at his Crucifixion.Proponents of this theory claim the psalmwas familiar to Jesus and was repeated byhim on the cross to encapsulate his expe-rience. Others believe Jesus’ words fromthe cross inspired the psalm, dating itafter his death. Those who take this posi-tion believe the verses to be history ratherthan prophecy. Yet all agree it is a cry ofdespair so universal that it could beuttered from pained lips across time. Inthis way, the text reveals both sides of thecoin: despairing fear that God has forgot-ten us altogether balanced with thepersistent hope that God will not fail toact (Taylor, 116-7).

1Lesson Teaching Guide

FORGIVING

Job 7:11-21; Psalm 22:1-11

ResourcesWilliam R. Taylor et al., “Psalms,” The Interpreter’s Bible,vol. 4, ed. George A. Buttrick (Nashville: Abingdon Press,1982).

Samuel Terrien and Paul Scherer, “Job,” The Interpreter’sBible, vol. 3, ed. George A. Buttrick (Nashville: AbingdonPress, 1982).

My Teaching Plan

Introduction: These passages describehonest expressions of frustration that beginin the writer’s anguish and continuethrough examinations of the nature of God.

I. Job Voices His ComplaintsA. Anguish described (v. 11)B. Question posed of threat to God

(v. 12)C. Lack of escape from pain (vv. 13-14)D. Death sought (vv. 15-16)

II. Job Pleads with GodA. God’s relationship to humanity

questioned (vv. 17-18)B. Respite from pain requested (v. 19)C. God’s motivation questioned (v. 20)D. Forgiveness requested (v. 21)E. Questions own continued existence

(v. 21)

III. Psalmist Speaks to GodA. Claims and questions God (v. 1)B. Describes own pain (v. 2)C. Refers to nature of God (v. 3)

IV. Psalmist Makes Case for God’s HearingA. Describes history of relationship

with God (vv. 4-5)B. Degrades self (vv. 6-7)C. Quotes Scripture (v. 8)D. Recalls God’s saving acts in the past

(vv. 9-10)E. Asks God for closeness and help

(v. 11)

4 Lesson 1

Offer IllustrationsHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ “God Must Have a Reason”Like many large cities, Louisville,Kentucky, is home to a high-risk traumacenter. Along with its medical services, thefacility also offers learning opportunitiesfor seminary students. Upper-level semi-nary students are even assigned rotationsas chaplains and placed in the midst ofthe on-going hospital activity. It is anespecially significant experience forstudents who want the opportunity tolearn how their theological ideas andbeliefs fare in the light of true—and oftentragic—life-and-death experiences.

It was in this context that a youngseminarian sought to minister to thevictim of a senseless automobile accident.The accident occurred in an outlying ruralarea and involved a family of three whohad been riding in the cab of a pickuptruck. They were returning home from afamily outing when their truck was hithead on by a drunk driver.

The mother of the family was in herlate 20s. When the young chaplain firstmet with her, she was in a hospital bedwith both legs and one shoulder broken.Her husband was in another part of thehospital suffering internal injuries, whiletheir child, also bearing numerousinjuries, had been put in a children’shospital in another part of town. Thewoman was lucid, in pain and very angry.She minced no words as she spoke openlyand honestly about the accident, her fearfor her child and husband, and most ofall, her pain and her grief. As she contin-ued to speak, though, her tiradesgradually gave way to calm. It was asthough her pain had begun to dissipateand she was able to gain some relief.

The chaplain learned that the womanhad begun to let go of her anger. She hadspoken honestly of her pain and made avital step toward wholeness. Honestybefore and with God leads to healing.

❍ Forgiveness As WaterImagine for a moment that forgiveness islike water. While the ecosystem is notmade entirely of water, it cannot functionwithout it. Weather, agriculture, and thelife cycles in nature all require water. Infact, life itself is dependent upon water.When we compare forgiveness to water,we are able to understand how integral itis to our spiritual lives. Withholdingwater prohibits health—to animals,plants, humanity, and rain forests.Likewise, withholding forgivenessprohibits our health, too—our spiritualhealth, that is.

Teaching Guide 5

DiscussionHow do I lead learners to dialogue about the session?

❍ Color RepresentationsAsk your learners to take a moment toconsider your discussion so far todayabout being reconciled with God. Havethem consider what ideas, thoughts, opin-ions, and beliefs they brought to thesession about reconciliation as opposedto any new insights they have gainedduring your meeting thus far.

Next, pass around a basket containingpieces of colored paper (use at least sixdifferent colors). Ask everyone to chooseat least one piece that they feel illustratessomething about their ideas and beliefsregarding reconciliation with God. Invitethem to share their responses with thelarger group. For example, “I selected thissmall blue piece because blue representscold to me, which is appropriate since Iam not sure I have warmed up to thisconcept yet,” or “I selected this large redpiece of paper because red represents lovefor me, and my recent loss has taught meso much about God’s love and forgive-ness.”

After everyone who wishes to sharehas had the opportunity to do so, havethe group work together to formulate astatement that expresses their beliefsabout being reconciled with God.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ What is a lament?➤ What images in our assigned texts

speak most clearly to you?➤ How do these texts speak to you about

forgiveness?

Questions for All Adults➤ When have words like those found in

the passages formed in your heart?➤ In what ways have you found the

freedom to express yourself towardGod, as have the writers of our focalScriptures?

➤ Do you see expressions such as these ashelpful or harmful to your spirituallife? Explain.

➤ Why do you think we tend to shy awayfrom the notion of releasing God?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ What have you learned about being

reconciled with God?➤ When have you been angry with God?

How have you expressed those feelings,if at all?

➤ If you knew someone who was angrywith God, how would you advise thatindividual about expressing theiranger?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ Is a reconciling relationship with God

reciprocal?➤ How does a reconciling relationship

with God affect your future?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ How do you openly express forgiveness

to your children?➤ What are you teaching your children

about forgiving others?➤ How do you respond when you have

wronged your children?

6 Lesson 1

Involve LearnersHow can I lead learners to explore the session together?

❍ Psalm 22 for TodayAsk your learners to reflect on the wordsof Psalm 22 as you read it aloud. Pausefor a moment and then read the psalmagain, but this time pause where indicatedbelow so that participants can silently fillin the blanks to create a personal psalm:

My God, my God, why have you forsakenme? Why are you _____? O my God, I cryby day, but _____ and by night, but _____.Yet you are holy, like _____. In you _____trusted; they trusted, and you _____. Toyou they cried, and were saved; in youthey trusted, and were not put to shame.But I am a _____, and not human; scornedby others, and _____. All who see _____they make mouths at me, they shake theirheads; “Commit your cause to the Lord;let him deliver—let him rescue the one inwhom he delights!” Yet it was you whotook care of me by _____ ; you kept mesafe _____. On you I was cast from mybirth, and since _____ you have been myGod. Do not be far from me, for trouble isnear and I need you because _____.

❍ When It Comes to Being Reconciledwith God...

Cut apart and distribute sentence stripsfrom the Resource Kit page (p. 23) for thissession, each person receiving onesentence. After a moment of reflection,invite group members to take turnsreading and completing their sentencesaloud. Then invite individuals to tradesentence strips and go through the activ-ity again.

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I think...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I know...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I believe...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I question...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, my experience has been...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I have been taught...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I read...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, it reminds me of...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I don’t like...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I am comforted by...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I am challenged by...

➤ When it comes to being reconciled withGod, I am aware of...

ClosureHow do I lead learners to respond?

❍ A Prayer of ForgivenessLead your group in the following closingprayer:

Today we heard the lamentations of thePsalmist and Job.Through the ages we heard their cries,Their words echoed in our ears andhearts.

Today we come desiring to know God.Some of us come bearing ill in our hearts.Our own lamentations are stuck inside.Lead us to wholeness and life everlasting.

Teaching Guide 7

2Find Relevance

Why do/should adults careabout this session? A well-

known acrostic for the word“joy” is often used in churches

and Sunday schools to describe the priori-ties for Christian living. In this particularacrostic, the “J” stands for “Jesus,” the“O” for “Others,” and the “Y” for“Yourself.” Further implications suggestthat Jesus should be the first priority in aperson’s life, followed by others, andending with oneself as the last priority.

While the intentions behind thisacrostic are noble indeed, the message itdelivers not only goes against Scripture(“Love your neighbor as you love your-self ” [Mt 19:19]), but it also isemotionally impossible to carry out.People who do not love themselves cannotlove others. In reality, only when peoplelove God are they able to love themselvesand, in turn, others.

Forgiveness follows a similar progres-sion. As has already been established inthe first session of this unit, forgiveness isintegral to healthy human relationships.Similarly, the ability to forgive oneself isfoundational to the ability to forgiveothers. In other words, only when we cantruly forgive ourselves can we offerforgiveness to others. Forgiving ourselvesbegins the journey toward wholeness.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? The text for today’s

session draws upon an imagefrom Exodus 33 that bears

notice. In Exodus 33:22 the writer speaksof “the cleft of the rock” as a place whereMoses waited for God. This imagesuggests that the rock allowed Moses toexperience as much of God as was possi-ble without being overwhelmed by God’smagnitude and glory (Rylaarsdam, 1075).That the text addresses the nature of Godfollowing this image suggests that thegracious and forgiving nature of Goddescribed is only a small fraction of thefull image. God’s indescribable forgive-ness inspires us to forgive just as readily.

Meanwhile, the John passagedescribes Peter’s confession of love forJesus, and this is after Peter has deniedJesus three times. The text highlights thatpart of Peter’s journey toward forgivinghimself is manifest in service to others. Itshould not be misunderstood, however,that service brings about forgiveness.

Lesson Teaching Guide

FORGIVING

SELF

Exodus 34:6-7; John 21:15-17; Matthew 27:3-5

Teaching Guide 9

ResourcesWilbert F. Howard, “John,” The Interpreter’s Bible, vol. 8,ed. George A. Buttrick (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1982).

J. Coert Rylaarsdam, “Exodus,” The Interpreter’s Bible, vol.1, ed. George A. Buttrick (Nashville: Abingdon Press,1982).

My Teaching Plan

Introduction: The assigned Scriptures fortoday’s session illustrate three dimensionsof our relationship with God. The Exodustext describes the promise between Godand humanity about God’s nature; the Johntext describes Peter’s sin and repentance;and the Matthew text provides Judas’s reac-tion to his own sin.

I. God’s Description of Grace (Ex 6-7)A. MercifulB. Slow to anger C. Abounding in steadfast love and

faithfulnessD. Forgiving iniquity, transgression, and

sin

II. God’s Description of Judgment A. Holding the guilty responsible B. The continuous effects of sin

III. Jesus Questions Peter’s Love ThreeTimes (Jn 21:15-17)A. Peter’s affirmative responses each

timeB. Jesus’ command for Peter to feed his

lambs

IV. Judas Returns to Those with Whom HeSinned (Mt 27:3-5)A. Judas’s confessionB. Judas’s suicide

Offer IllustrationsHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ The Town of the Barefoot CobblerThere is an old saying that “the childrenof the cobbler go barefoot.” As weexamine the concept of forgivingourselves, we see that it is a biblicalmandate originating from the very natureof God. In this light, let us consider otherillustrations to gain insight:

In a small town not far from you livesa doctor who is ill. The symptoms sheexperiences indicate a mild but uncom-fortable diagnosis. She intends to get aprescription that will treat her symptomsbut is too busy treating others. The symp-toms persist and keep her fromfunctioning at her best. Though shepossesses it, she does not use her medicalknowledge on herself.

This town is also home to a tailor ofexceptional skill and artistry. Royaltyfrom many nations travel to this town tobe outfitted for their most formal occa-sions. Unfortunately, the last queen whovisited had to be turned away. The tailor’sown clothes were so unkempt that he wasashamed to be seen. He has the skill andmaterial to clothe himself quite well, buthe has perfectionist tendencies. He iswilling to make clothing for others but isafraid clothing made for himself might beuncomfortable or become soiled or go outof style—so he goes without.

Perhaps the most unusual resident ofthis town is a gardener. This gardener hasthe most amazing knack for designing andgrowing beautiful gardens with meagerresources. He began his own garden withthe cast-off cuttings from a nearby estate.With his care, the cuttings took root andflourished. Soon his garden drew manyvisitors. All who saw it were amazed at itstranquility and beauty. The gardener wasgenerous with advice for those seeking toreplicate his garden. From time to time, hewould travel to a nearby town and assist inthe design and creation of other gardens.

But, to the surprise of the businesspeoplein town, the gardener was not interested infranchising or selling his garden or skill.And he always tended his own gardenbefore venturing away to care for thegarden of others.

Questions➤ What insights about forgiving yourself

can you draw from these illustrations? ➤ What were the reasons given by the

doctor and the tailor for failing to usetheir skills for their own benefit? Whatwas the difference between them andthe gardener?

➤ When have you failed to forgive your-self? How might you be more like thegardener?

❍ Psalm 139O Lord, you have searched me andknown me. You know when I sit downand when I rise up; you discern mythoughts from far away. You searchout my path and my lying down, andare acquainted with all my ways. Evenbefore a word is on my tongue,

O Lord, you know it completely. Youhem me in, behind and before, and layyour hand upon me. Such knowledgeis too wonderful for me; it is so highthat I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from your spirit? Orwhere can I flee from your presence? IfI ascend to heaven, you are there; if Imake my bed in Sheol, you are there. IfI take the wings of the morning andsettle at the farthest limits of the sea,even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me fast.

People are sometimes reluctant toforgive themselves because they do nottruly believe they are forgivable. Whatdoes this text say differently?

10 Lesson 2

DiscussionHow do I lead learners to dialogue about the session?

❍ Forgiveness Formula Make three columns on a chalkboard or apiece of posterboard, writing one of thethree following headings at the top ofeach column: “Nature of God,” “Service toOthers,” and “Forgiveness of Self.”

When you have done this, lead yourgroup to review each passage from today’ssession and respond according to whatthe text says about each of the headings.For example, under the first headingmight be recorded the response, “God isgracious.”

Once the list is complete, ask yourlearners to reflect upon the relationshipconnecting these three headings.Meanwhile, note which of the lists wereeasiest or most difficult to compile.Finally, invite your participants to deter-mine what visual model they might createto symbolize the relationship between thethree lists. For example, they couldsuggest anything from a pyramid or aflow chart to a pie graph or a circularmodel.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ Considering the Exodus text, to which

of God’s attributes do you most easilyrelate? Which of God’s attributes seemsmost distant to you?

➤ Why do you think Jesus asked Peter todemonstrate his love by caring forothers? How does this speak to youtoday?

➤ What were Judas’s barriers to forgivinghimself?

Questions for All Adults➤ What is the connection between the

nature of God and our ability to forgiveourselves?

➤ What are your barriers to forgivingyourself?

➤ How do we know when we haveforgiven ourselves?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ Does forgiving oneself become easier or

harder as life progresses? Explain.➤ How has forgiving yourself positively

affected your life?➤ What advice would you give to others

about learning to forgive themselves?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ How does forgiving yourself play into

your sense of spiritual growth andmaturity?

➤ Do you think it is important to learn toforgive yourself at this stage in yourlife? Why or why not?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ What do you want your children to

know about forgiving themselves? Howdo you illustrate this in your home?

➤ Consider the barriers between you andyour children or spouse that haveresulted from your needing to forgiveyourself. What can you do about thesebarriers?

Teaching Guide 11

12 Lesson 2

Involve LearnersHow can I lead learners to explore the session together?

❍ Practicing Self-ForgivenessRemind your group members that anynew skill takes practice—especially one asdifficult as learning to forgive ourselves.Ask your learners to form four teams asyou give each of these small groups apencil and a piece of paper with each ofthe following words printed at the top:“Intellectual,” “Spiritual,” “Physical,”“Emotional.”

Invite each group to make a list ofways that one can practice self-forgive-ness, being careful to list at least a fewthings for each category. After they haveworked for several minutes, lead thegroups in sharing what they have written.Welcome comments from the largergroup, concluding with the challenge thateveryone select one of the suggestions totackle during the upcoming week.

❍ Fortunately, UnfortunatelyAsk your group to form a circle for thisoption. Explain that you will start bymaking a statement beginning with theword “fortunately.” The person to yourright will then follow with a statementbeginning with “unfortunately,” and so onuntil everyone in the circle has responded.For example, if the leader says,“Fortunately, I went to the store today,” anappropriate response might be,“Unfortunately, the store was closed.”Then, of course, the next person mightsay, “Fortunately, there was another storenearby,” whereas the next person mightsay, “Unfortunately, it was closed also.”

Choose a simple example like the onegiven above to begin the exercise, thenrepeat the activity beginning with thestatement, “Fortunately, forgivingourselves is an important part of ourjourney toward wholeness.” If you have anespecially large class, you may want todivide your adults into smaller circles.

Questions➤ Which statements were easier to

complete, those that began with“Fortunately” or “Unfortunately”?

➤ How difficult was the activity tocomplete? Why?

➤ The session writer suggests that it isdifficult for us to forgive ourselvesbecause our confessions of sin tend to be vague. What do you think of thisassertion?

ClosureHow do I lead learners to respond?

❍ Forgiving Myself Guided Prayer Give each person a copy of the ResourceKit page (p. 24) for this session and eitherlead your group or ask a volunteer to leadin the following guided prayer as groupmembers complete the open phrases:

Gracious and loving God, Who is merciful, slow to anger, andabounding in steadfast love,Faithful and forgiving God,We confess our sins to you today as webring to you _______.We accept your forgiveness for ________.Hear our prayers today as we seek toforgive ourselves.Help us to forgive ourselves for ________And for ________.Lead us to do for ourselves that which youhave first done for us.And guide us to be full of your grace andmercy.In Jesus’ name we pray,Amen.

3Find Relevance

Why do/should adults careabout this session? All rela-

tionships require forgiveness.From the sandbox scuffle to the

boardroom brawl, relationships of anysignificance will eventually experienceconflict and thus require forgiveness. Inthe previous two sessions the focus hasbeen on the relationship between theindividual and God. This session,however, moves one step further toexamine and define the forgiveness we areto offer to others.

God’s forgiveness through JesusChrist is a foundational aspect ofChristian faith. As people created in theimage of God and seeking to live godlylives, it is imperative that we learn how toforgive others. Before we can fully experi-ence God’s forgiveness of us, we must firstbecome practiced at extending forgivenessto others. Failure to practice forgivenessonly limits and thwarts our spiritualpotential. By strengthening our ownhandling of forgiveness, we are freed tobecome all that God has intended.

Seeking UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturemean? Of the two especially

noteworthy concepts addressedin today’s Scripture text, the first

involves the lengths to which peopleshould go in order to bring about recon-ciliation. By encouraging gentle andloving initiative towards the offender, theintent is to preserve—if at all possible—the character of the offender. In otherwords, forgiveness is offered as a vehiclefor the reconciliation. So clearly, the firstcontact with the offender is to be lovingand patient. A second contact, if needed,includes a few others, also loving andpatient. Only when all other attempts failis the offender left outside the circle offellowship ( Johnson, 472-3).

The second noteworthy conceptsuggests that in order to experience God’sforgiveness completely, it is necessary toforgive others. The initiative of forgive-ness comes from God, but we cannot fullyreceive this blessing offered to us unlesswe are just as ready and willing to extendforgiveness toward others. In this light,we can understand how the act of forgiv-ing others actually opens our own heartsto receive the full forgiveness of God(Ibid., 478).

Lesson Teaching Guide

FORGIVING

OTHERS

Matthew 18:15-35

14 Lesson 3

Resources“Former hostage Terry Anderson looks for hope, renewalin Beirut,” CNN.com (6 Aug 1996)<http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9608/06/terry.ander-son/index.html> (13 Jan 2001).

Sherman E. Johnson, “Matthew,” The Interpreter’s Bible,vol. 7 (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1982).

My Teaching Plan

Introduction: The procedure and partici-pants involved in reconciliation are clearlydelineated in the Matthew passage westudy today. Readers are also reminded ofGod’s continuing initiative toward forgive-ness.

I. Procedures for Forgiveness andReconciliation

A. Offended person takes the initiative(v. 15).

B. Recruit witnesses if initiative isunsuccessful (v. 16).

C. Involve the church (v. 17).D. Distance oneself from offender if

reconciliation is ultimately rejected(v. 18).

II. Power of BelieversA. To unify and bind together (v. 18).B. To be heard by God (vv. 19-20).

III. An Illustration of ForgivenessA. A slave’s debts are forgiven

(vv. 23-27).B. The forgiven refuses to forgive

another (vv. 28-30).C. The king learns of the slave’s actions

(v. 31).D. The king withdraws forgiveness

(vv. 32-33).E. We receive a reminder of God’s

forgiveness and consequences forfailure to forgive (vv. 34-35).

Offer IllustrationHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ Warm Water on a Block of IceInvite your learners to imagine a grudgeas a jagged ice block sitting heavily rightin the center of a person’s heart. Silentand sharp, it simply does not belongthere. While it is odorless and colorless, itaffects the heart’s every beat, not onlytaking up space, but also hindering theheart from pumping blood efficiently.Every thought of revenge or retributionliterally tears the heart apart from theinside out. And, to make matters worse,every retelling of the offense which gavebirth to the grudge only causes this cold,piercing presence to take root morefirmly. Although the person housing thishazardous infection may not even beaware, it slowly takes over, inevitablyedging out the form and function of theheart itself.

To this block of ice, forgiveness is likewarm water, capable of smoothing awaythe edges and shrinking the frozen layers.Beginning as a mere trickle, the desire toforgive builds into a steady stream until itencircles the ice with continuous warmth.With each action, thought, and prayer, thewarmth of forgiveness eventuallydissolves the block entirely. Where bitter-ness and resentment once lived, blood cannow flow freely, energizing and dynamic.Without fail, forgiveness overcomesresentment every single time.

❍ To Live AgainMany years ago during the Iran hostagesituation, American journalist TerryAnderson was one of the people capturedand held hostage. The captivity was longand the conditions abhorrent as Terryendured mental and physical torturedaily. Yet throughout the ordeal the jour-nalist kept a fragile sanity until, finally,his release was negotiated. He wasreturned to a US military base and hospi-talized for several weeks. When he wasdeclared physically able, he returnedhome.

Back in his hometown, Terry beganthe task of rebuilding his life. Offers fromall over the world came from media offi-cials who wanted to hear his hostagestory. He spurned initial offers, insistinghe was not yet ready. Privately, he wascultivating his mental and spiritualhealing by working to forgive his captors.He recognized that his captivity continuedas long as he was unable to forgive thosewho had treated him so cruelly. Terryreports having spent many hours remem-bering those who had treated him withsuch inhumanity and asking God’sforgiveness for them. Only when he felt hecould remember them in love could hespeak about his captivity. And only whenhe was free from the bondage of loathingwas he free to live again.

Teaching Guide 15

DiscussionHow do I lead learners to dialogue about the session?

❍ Forgiving QuestionsDistribute to each of your learners a notecard with one of the following “questionwords” printed on it: “Who(m)?” “What?”“Where?” “Why?” “When?” “How?” Next,invite each group member to write asentence dealing with forgiveness andintroduced by the word listed on theirnote card. The questions also should berelevant to the themes underlying today’sScripture text. Some examples areprovided to get your group started.

Examples• Whom does the text tell us to forgive?

• What are the most troublesome barriersto forgiving others?

• Where does forgiveness begin?

• Why is it so important to forgive others?

• When does one know to forgive anotherperson?

• How does one go about forgivinganother person?

Allow ample time for your partici-pants to compose their questions beforeopening the floor for discussion. You willfind that your adults’ questions areperfect tools for generating involvedconversation about forgiveness.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ What does the text reveal about the

importance of fellowship in a commu-nity of faith?

➤ Where reconciliation and forgivenessare concerned, what role does commu-nity accountability play?

➤ What is the significance of the size ofthe debt described in the parable? Howdoes this translate to your own experi-ence?

Questions for All Adults➤ For you, what is the most difficult part

of forgiveness?➤ What do you believe about forgiving an

unrepentant person? ➤ What helps you come to a place of

forgiveness and reconciliation?➤ Why do you think forgiveness is often

referred to as a “practice”?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ How has your attitude toward forgive-

ness changed over time?➤ When has our nation or community

either modeled or failed to modelforgiveness?

➤ How would you rate the importance offorgiveness?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ How have your ideas about forgiveness

changed since childhood?➤ Do you believe it becomes easier or

more difficult to forgive as you becomeolder?

➤ How is forgiveness a part of your dailyroutine at work or at school?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ How do you model (or want to model)

forgiveness in your home?➤ What situations bring with them

discussions about forgiveness in yourfamily?

16 Lesson 3

Involve LearnersHow can I lead learners to explore the session together?

❍ Forgiveness SimilesGive each person in your group theResource Kit page “Forgiveness Similes”(p. 25), along with a pencil. Remind yourlearners that a simile is a literary compari-son using the words “like” or “as.” Usingthe words provided on the Resource Kitpage (which are also printed below), theyare to create a variety of similes compar-ing each item to some aspect offorgiveness. Invite volunteers to sharetheir ideas.

ExamplesFire: Forgiveness is like a fire in a forest,consuming all hatred and resentment likedry wood and underbrush.

Rock: An unforgiven act is like a rocktrying to float.

Words for SimiliesWater Tree EarthSky Root SandWaves Sunset SunriseLight Ice CliffShoreline Mountaintop Valley

❍ Practicing ForgivenessAsk each of your adults to choose apartner as you distribute one of the role-play cards from the Resource Kit page (p. 26) to each pair. If you prefer, you mayopt to distribute blank cards instead,asking the partners to jot down a situationin which one person needs to forgiveanother. Finally, your pairs will worktogether to work out a solution to theirsituation and role play it before the group.

Role-Play Situations➤ A man whose wife has said unkind

things to him.➤ A parent whose child has thrown a

tantrum about a family rule.

➤ A worker whose co-worker has donesomething to make her look bad infront of the boss.

➤ A homeowner whose neighborcomplains constantly about his chil-dren and dogs.

➤ A sister whose brother lies to makehimself look good.

➤ A man and someone who has stolenfrom him.

➤ A woman and a person who constantlycriticizes her at work.

➤ A man and a person who has toldsomething untrue about him tofriends.

Questions➤ What appears to be the easiest part of

forgiveness? The most difficult?➤ What insights did you gain about

forgiving others?➤ What questions do you still have about

forgiving others?

ClosureHow do I lead learners to respond?

❍ Forgiveness Group PrayerClose your session by inviting learners tostand in a circle and hold hands. Explainto them that it is perfectly normal forforgiving others to be difficult.

Regardless, we must stand together tocommit ourselves to the task of forgivingothers. We hold hands in support of eachother and recognize that we need God toempower our forgiveness. Having said allthis, lift up a brief prayer of forgiveness,inviting each person to say a few wordsbeginning with “Forgiveness….” End theprayer with a simple “Amen” beforedismissing your group until next week.

Teaching Guide 17

4Find Relevance

Why do/should adults careabout this session? Benefits

are the added compensationemployees receive as part of their

employment agreement. Such benefitscan include perks like monetary bonuses,health and dental insurance, vacationtime, pension or retirement plans, and forthe lucky few, even company vehicles.These factors are negotiated at the time ofemployment and are a significant part ofthe relationship between employer andemployee.

Being forgiven is one of the manybenefits of being in relationship withGod. As part of that relationship, weexperience God’s love, provisions, prom-ises, and presence. Jesus Christ hasalready negotiated our compensationpackage, making the benefit of forgive-ness ours if only we will take it.

Today’s Scripture passage explores allthat being forgiven entails, from theemotional components of joy and glad-ness to the spiritual elements of a cleanheart and a right spirit. Then, of course,there is the text relational component of aclose fellowship with God and the physi-cal part which is associated with ourdeliverance. In fact, the psalmist’s multi-faceted portrayal is quite eloquent.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? Today our text begins

with a statement some scholarsuse to refute the notion of “origi-

nal sin.” Others believe that because truthis what God desires most from humanity,sin simply cannot be according to God’swill for us. Instead, sin is the choice ofeach and every individual and, therefore,secondary—not original (Poteat & Taylor,269).

God’s desire for truth can also beimplied in the psalmist’s reference to the“secret heart.” Some believe this referencepoints to our subconscious mind. If theyare correct, then the text tells of God’sdesire for truth to influence all one saysand does (Ibid., 270).

The psalmist continues by recogniz-ing his own sinfulness, comparing it tothe uncleanness associated with leprosy.Although he acknowledges his ownillness and filth, he nevertheless stillapproaches God believing that he can behealed and made clean. This beliefappears connected to his ability to experi-ence God’s forgiveness (Ibid., 271).

Lesson Teaching Guide

BEING

FORGIVEN

Psalm 51:6-14

Teaching Guide 19

ResourcesA Guide to Reading and Writing Japanese (Tokyo: Charles E.Tuttle Co., 1990).

Edwin Poteat and William R. Taylor, “Psalms,” TheInterpreter’s Bible, vol. 4, ed. George A. Buttrick (Nashville:Abingdon Press, 1982).

My Teaching Plan

I. God’s Desire (v. 6)A. For truth B. For wisdom

II. Request for Cleansing (v. 7)A. From sinB. From all which contaminates

III. Request for Restoration and Strength (v. 8)

IV. Request for Complete Forgiveness (vv. 9-10)

V. Request for Fellowship with God (v. 11)

VI. Request for Renewal of Spirit (v. 12)

VII. Statement of Actions to FollowForgiveness (v. 13)

VIII. Plea for Safety (v. 14)

IX. Promise of Testimony (v. 14)

Offer IllustrationHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ Under the Waterfall In the central region of Luzon, aPhilippine island, is a majestic waterfall.It lies on a river that winds through athick jungle full of exotic birds andbrightly colored flowers. It is possible toview the falls from the riverbank, but onlyby taking a canoe-like boat into the water-fall can it be truly experienced. The journeyup the river is peaceful and pleasant, butclose to the falls the silence is broken bythe sound of roaring water. The roarbecomes so loud that boat passengers cancommunicate only with hand signals. Themoment before plunging into the falls,passengers report a consuming cold andheavy pressure, but as they come out atthe bottom shouts of pure exhilarationabound. The boaters always come outsoaking wet but laughing nonetheless.They seem amazingly similar in appear-ance as they emerge from the thunderingwater.

So it is with being forgiven. While theapproaches to forgiveness are as varied asthe sinners themselves, the experience ofbeing forgiven by God elicits pure joy, acomplete “soaking” with the recognitionof God’s grace. There is no “partiallyforgiven,” just as there is no “partialplunge” under the waterfall. Forgivenessis thorough and complete and touches usprofoundly. And, as the boaters in thewaterfall, those who are forgiven have astory to tell for years to come.

❍ To Dwell and Be ForgivenThe written Japanese language consists ofthree different alphabets. One is a simplephonetic alphabet, the second is a similaralphabet used mainly to form wordsderived from other languages, and thethird is a complex picture alphabet madeup of several thousand characters.

This third alphabet is called Kanji andis related to both the Chinese and Koreanalphabets. The several thousand Kanjicharacters are picture-like symbols, oftenwith related meanings and roots. EachKanji character has a written form withone or more pronunciations. When aword is spoken, the written form is oftendescribed in pantomime, as though thespeaker were writing the word in theirpalm.

It is interesting to note that the char-acters for “forgive” and “dwell” receive thesame pronunciation. “Kyo” is the pronun-ciation for both the words “forgive” and“dwell.” Both these words also incorporateinto their designs the character for“mouth,” represented by a square-ishshape. The character for “dwell” is alsoused for the phrases “to be” and “to bepresent.” It is combined with other char-acters to mean “dwelling place,” “livingroom,” and “nap or doze.” The characterfor “forgive” is also combined with othercharacters to mean “permission” or“approval.”

The relationship of these charactersprovides an illustration for our relation-ship to God and our overall experience offorgiveness. For Christians, beingforgiven is equal to dwelling, living, beingpresent with God. When we are able toreceive God’s forgiveness, our experienceis like that of the psalmist in that thetestimony of God’s grace draws others toGod (Guide to Japanese, 132).

20 Lesson 4

DiscussionHow do I lead learners to dialogue about thesession?

❍ Identifying ExperienceWrite the words or phrases printedbelow on a chalkboard or poster board,explaining to your learners that each ofthese items can be found in today’stext.

Truth in Inward BeingWisdom of GodSecret HeartPurge Me with HyssopHear Joy and GladnessBones That Have Been CrushedRejoice Create a Clean HeartCast from God’s PresenceRestore the Joy of SalvationSustain a Willing SpiritDeliver from BloodshedSing Aloud of Deliverance

Have each of your participantschoose one phrase that speaks to themmost directly. It may remind them ofan experience they have had with beingforgiven. It may be something withwhich they struggle or something theydon’t understand. It may be somethingthat they hope for or dream about.Whichever approach they take, encour-age your group members to let thewords of the psalmist become part oftheir own experience.

After all your adults have selected aword or phrase, invite them to sharewhat they have selected and why.Notice any patterns emerging betweenthe selections. For example, severalpeople might struggle with the samephrase or have similar experiences. Ifthere are questions, try not to be tooquick to answer them yourself, but letthe group address and dialogue abouttheir concerns. Continue this processuntil everyone in the group who wishesto share has had a chance to speak.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ What connections between God’s will and

our response are found in today’s text?➤ What is the role of confession in the

Scripture?➤ How does the psalmist receive assurance

of pardon?

Questions for All Adults➤ What is the connection between being

forgiven and telling others about beingforgiven?

➤ Does this psalm present a picture offorgiveness similar to or different fromyour own experience?

➤ If you had the opportunity to speak withthe writer of this text, what questionswould you ask about forgiveness?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ What part of the psalm is most meaning-

ful to you?➤ How does this psalm illustrate what you

know about forgiveness?➤ How would you resolve a situation in

which forgiveness was not offered?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ What “wisdom in your secret heart”

would you like to have?➤ Do you have opportunities to “sing aloud

of your deliverance”? How could you dothat in your school or work place?

➤ What do you tell others about God’sforgiveness?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ What are some ways you could help your

children experience “wisdom in theirsecret hearts”?

➤ In relating to your children, how do youbalance reconciliation and forgivenesswith responsibility and accountability?

➤ How do you communicate your own experi-ence of being forgiven to your children?

Teaching Guide 21

22 Lesson 4

Involve LearnersHow can I lead learners to explore the session together?

❍ Forgiveness Verbs Demonstrated“Educational modality” is the phrase used todescribe one theory of learning. This theoryclaims that different people learn by differentmodes, or methods. Most of us can probablyagree that this has proven true in our ownexperience. Yet one educational mode oftenoverlooked is the one that involves physicalmovement. For instance, the game charadesuses physical movement to interpret ideas.

Ask your group to examine today’sScripture passing using physical movement.They may be confused at first, but give eachlearner a note card naming one of the verbsfound in today’s text: desire, teach, purge,wash, hear, rejoice, hide, blot out, create, put,cast away, take, restore, sustain, return,deliver, sing. Then, ask each individual tointerpret their verb for the rest of the groupwithout using words or sounds. Of course,the larger group will try to guess which verbsare being interpreted. At the conclusion ofthe exercise, ask the following questions.

Questions• What new insight did you gain from this

exercise?

• Was it more difficult for you to guess theword or to “act out” the word?

• Were there any surprises? If so, what werethey?

❍ Write a Personal PsalmGive each of your participants a copy of theResource Kit page (p. 27) for this session. Askthem to draw from their personal experiencesand knowledge of being forgiven as they seekto fill in the blanks with words that are espe-cially meaningful to them. Tell them theymay use the biblical text to provide them withdirection and insight. At your discretion,their writings can be for private use or forsharing with the group.

ClosureHow do I lead learners to respond?

❍ BenedictionUse your assigned Scripture text as abenediction to the session. You maychoose to read it “round-robin” style,with each person reading one verse, orantiphonally, with half the groupreading the even verses and the otherhalf reading the odd verses. If youchoose the antiphonal method, youwill find it particularly helpful to haveyour two groups face each other.Conclude with a prayer.

Page 23

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I think...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I know...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I believe...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I question...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, my experience has been...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I have been taught...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I read...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, it reminds me of...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I don’t like...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I am comforted by...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I am challenged by...

When it comes to being reconciled with God, I am aware of...

When It Comes to Being

Reconciled with God

Page 24

We Confess Our Sins and

Accept Your forgiveness

Gracious and loving God,

Who is merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,

Faithful and forgiving God,

We confess our sins to you today as we bring to you .

We accept your forgiveness for .

Hear our prayers today as we seek to forgive ourselves.

Help us to forgive ourselves for

And for .

Lead us to do for ourselves that which you have first done for us.

And guide us to be full of your grace and mercy.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

Amen.

Page 25

Forgiveness Similes

A simile is a literary comparison using the words “like” or “as.” Using the wordsprovided here, create a variety of similes comparing each item to some aspect offorgiveness.

ExamplesFire: Forgiveness is like a fire in a forest, consuming all hatred and resentment like dry

wood and underbrush.

Rock: An unforgiven act is like a rock trying to float.

Words for Similes

Water

Tree

Earth

Sky

Root

Sand

Waves

Sunset

Sunrise

Light

Ice

Cliff

Shoreline

Mountaintop

Valley

Page 26

• A man whose wife has said unkind things to him.

• A parent whose child has thrown a tantrum about a family rule.

• A worker whose co-worker has done something to make her look bad in front

of the boss.

• A homeowner whose neighbor complains constantly about his children and dogs.

• A sister whose brother lies to make himself look good.

• A man and someone who has stolen from him.

• A woman and a person who constantly criticizes her at work.

• A man and a person who has told something untrue about him to friends.

Role-Play Situations

Page 27

Writing a Personal Psalm

Draw from your personal experiences and knowledge of being forgiven as you seek to fill inthe blanks with words that are especially meaningful to you. You may use the biblical text,Psalm 51:6-14, to provide direction and insight.

6 You desire in the therefore teach me in my .

7 Purge me , and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be

.

8 Let me hear ; let the that you have .

9 Hide your face from my , and blot out all my .

10 Create in me a , O God, and put a within me.

11 Do not away from your , and do not take your

from me.

12 Restore to me the and sustain in me a

13 Then I will teach , and will return to you.

14 Deliver me from , O God, O God of my , and my

will sing aloud of your deliverance.