Swimming for Sophie: A Story of Strengths, Resilience

and Success

Dr. Alex Linley

Capp

www.cappeu.com

Introduction

On Saturday 29 January 2011, I completed a 200m swim in water of 0-

1C across Britain‟s coldest lake, Llyn Llydaw on Snowdon.

“Why?!” you might legitimately ask! My extreme swim was in aid of

the Children‟s Heart Appeal at Birmingham Children‟s Hospital,

who saved my youngest daughter Sophie‟s life when she was just

13 months old.

I set out to raise £20,000 towards the Appeal target of £2m. What I

didn‟t realise was just how much I would learn along the way. This

is what I want to share with you through this presentation.

This is my story of Swimming for Sophie.

A Story in Six Parts

Part 1: In the Beginning

Part 2: The Call

Part 3: The Spark

Part 4: The Trials

Part 5: The Challenge

Part 6: The Homecoming

Part 1: In the Beginning

Sophie was born on Wednesday 4

December 2002 at 8.12pm.

Between the ages of 6 and 13 months,

she was admitted to hospital eight

times, with a range of chest

complications.

Ultimately, on Thursday 29 January 2004,

she was transferred by ambulance to

Birmingham Children‟s Hospital for

further investigation.

We didn‟t know it at the time, but she

was born with co-arctation of the

aorta, or a narrowed artery. Dr. De

Giovanni at BCH diagnosed this and

operated on the same day.

Sophie aged 8 months

Part 1: In the Beginning

Watching my little girl go to sleep with

the anaesthetic was the hardest thing

I have ever had to do. I felt so

powerless as her questioning eyes

looked at me as if to say “What‟s

happening, Dad?” and there was

nothing I could do to answer her.

Within hours, Sophie was fine and well on

the way to making a full recovery.

She was on six different medications for a

time, with the last one finishing after

three years.

We resolved that one day we would do

something to say thank you to BCH

for saving our daughter‟s life. We just

didn‟t know what it would be...

Sophie aged 8 months

Life Lesson 1: Growth through Adversity

The five dimensions of posttraumatic

growth:

• Relating to others

• New possibilities

• Personal strength

• Spiritual change

• Appreciation of life

“You judge a man by the size of the problems

he can cope with. Judging by that, you

have broad shoulders, son.”

Part 2: The Call

The desire to thank Birmingham Children‟s

Hospital still rested deep within me.

The catalyst which sparked it into life was

seeing the launch of the Children‟s

Heart Appeal on BBC Midlands Today.

What to do?

As Founding Director of Capp, I knew I had

an organisation I could persuade to

support me.

As a Catalyst myself, I knew I could do

something that would inspire others.

And through all of our work on strengths, I

knew that this was the place to begin.

Life Lesson 2: Aligning Strengths to Goals

Aligning strengths to goals with the

Realise2 4M model (see

www.Realise2.com):

Marshal Realised Strengths - use them

appropriately for your situation and

context.

Moderate Learned Behaviours - use them

in moderation and only when you

need to.

Minimise Weaknesses - use them as little

as possible and only where necessary.

Maximise Unrealised Strengths - find

opportunities to use them more.

Alex’s Strengths for the Swim

v

v

v

1) Adventure

2) Mission

3) Courage

4) Centred

5) Curiosity

1) Legacy

2) Catalyst

3) Innovation

4) Drive

5) Scribe

1) Work Ethic

2) Spotlight

3) Resolver

1) Adherence

2) Persistence

3) Planful

Marshalling Realised Strengths

Some of my realised strengths easily lent themselves to the project

that would become “Alex‟s Extreme Swim”:

Legacy: I‟m always focused on doing something that will leave a

lasting positive difference.

Catalyst: I love to inspire people to take action for themselves.

Innovation: I feel like I was born to do things that are new and

original.

Drive: I‟m prepared to go above and beyond.

Scribe: I love writing things for others to read.

Moderating Learned Behaviours

Some of my learned behaviours gave us pause for caution, others

actually suggested opportunities – as long as they weren‟t

overplayed!

Work Ethic: I‟m prepared to work hard and put in the effort that‟s

needed to get things done.

Spotlight: I‟m quite happy being the centre of attention (as long as

it‟s not all the time!).

Resolver: I can sort out problems when they arise, but it‟s not

something I would want to do constantly.

Minimising Weaknesses

Some of my weaknesses required careful attention, to ensure they

weren‟t going to trip us up along the way:

Adherence: I‟m not at all someone who sticks to the rules, following

guidelines and procedures – far from it!

Persistence: I‟m not known for always sticking with things (although I

prefer to think of this as being about better judgement and „the

dip‟ – see below).

Planful: I‟m not that good at making plans for the future or being

organised in terms of what should be done by when.

Maximising Unrealised Strengths

My unrealised strengths provided a real opportunity. One of my driving

questions was “How can I use this fundraising challenge as an

opportunity to use and develop these unrealised strengths more?”

Adventure: I wanted to take more risks and push the boundaries.

Mission: I wanted to develop a greater sense of purpose and

contribution.

Courage: I wanted to do more to face up to my fears.

Centred: I wanted to do more to challenge my calmness.

Curiosity: I wanted a reason to explore new areas.

Part 3: The Spark

I have always been a swimmer.

As my strengths profile suggests, I was

looking for a challenge that would

stretch me and leave a legacy.

On 8 August, 2010, Lewis Pugh was

featured in The Sunday Times

Magazine.

Lewis Pugh is the cold water endurance

swimmer par excellence, having

completed 1km swims in the five

oceans of the world, including at the

North Pole on 15 July 2007.

This was the spark that started the

adventure...

Llyn Llydaw, Snowdon

Llyn Llydaw on Snowdon – the coldest

lake in Britain.

c. 450m above sea level; half way up

Snowdon.

Accessed via the Miner‟s Track on the

ascent to Snowdon.

Featured in Robson Green‟s “Wild

Swimming Adventures” where he

swam Llyn Llydaw with Lewis Pugh.

Lewis Pugh used Llyn Llydaw as a training

base for his North Pole swim.

Llyn Llydaw and the Miner‟s Track Source: www.beenthere-donethat.org.uk

Life Lesson 3: Learning from your Heroes

We can learn from our heroes, as long as:

1. We believe we are capable of change

ourselves.

2. We pay attention to the individual

characteristics, attitudes, and

behaviours that we can emulate, and

NOT to becoming that person as a

whole.

3. We focus on deeply understanding

the target and choose to compare on

what we can change, rather than

what we can’t.

Inferiority,

jealousy,

regret

Inspiration,

learning,

relationship

Superiority,

confidence,

relief

Anxiety,

self-doubt

Contrast Assimilation

Up

Dow

n

(Michael Cohn, 2004)

Part 4: The Trials

My first “wild swim” was in the River

Lowther, in the Lake District, at the

end of October 2010.

The air temperature had dropped to -5C

the night before.

Water temperature unknown, but I would

estimate about 10C – so quite warm

by the standards that were to come!

I was in the water for 5 minutes this

time.

River Lowther, Lake District

Wed 27 October – 3 months to go...

In the Ice Training Pool

“I feel very scared. When I think about

why, it‟s clear that it‟s the fear of

failure, not fear of pain or discomfort

or consequences. I can take the pain

and discomfort for the time it takes –

and more – after all, I have a choice.

Sick children don‟t.

But failure – fear of not achieving

something I set out to do – for me,

that is real fear. But it‟s a fear that

inspires, not that cripples. I know

that when I overcome it, the

exhilaration will be great, the

achievement significant. And it‟s this

that always pushes me through.”

Sat 27 November – 2 months to go...

Air temp: 1.1C

Water temp: 0.1C – 80 secs

Ice 8mm thick on entry

Ice Bath Training at Warwick Sport

Three ice bath immersions:

• 10.5 mins @ 8.8C – any excuse not

to get in at first!

• 20 mins @ 8.7C – I was definitely

hypothermic after this one.

• 12 mins @ 10.1C – because my body

heat was warming the ice bath and

we couldn‟t get it any colder!

• Video available at http://www.cappeu.com/About/Birmingham

HeartAppeal.aspx

Warwick Ice Bath Training

Tues 18 January 2011 – 11 days to

go...

Llyn Llydaw Test Swims

Friday 21 January 2011 – 30% frozen...

40m across lake at narrowest point

Water temperature of 1.6C (“Don‟t worry,

it won‟t be this cold next week!”)

Video available at http://www.cappeu.com/About/BirminghamHeart

Appeal.aspx

Friday 28 January 2011 – none frozen...

Again, 40m across the lake

Water temp 1.7C, air temp -0.5C

And back in for a Coca Cola can!

Llyn Llydaw test swims

Fri 21 January 2011 – 8 days to go...

Fri 28 January 2011 – 1 day to go...

The Dip...21 January 2011

“And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil (1886)

Effort

Results

Life Lesson 4: Distinguishing the Dip

Curve 1: The Dip: Short term pain, long term gain

Best advice: Stick through it

(Seth Godin, 2007)

Effort

Results

Life Lesson 4: Distinguishing the Dip

Curve 2: The Cul-de-sac: Short term pain, long term failure

Best advice: Know when to quit

(Seth Godin, 2007)

Effort

Results

Life Lesson 4: Distinguishing the Dip

Curve 3: The Cliff: Short term benefit, long term disaster

Best advice: Avoid the temptation

(Seth Godin, 2007)

When to Stick and When to Quit

When to Stick

1. You‟re tired

2. You doubt yourself

3. You have multiple options

4. You can see the future pay-off

When to Quit

1. When it isn‟t working

2. You don‟t have options to get to

the outcome

3. You can‟t see the future pay-off

4. Quit irrespective of sunk costs

Five Ways of Quitting

1. Strategic quitting – quitting to do something better for the long term.

2. Reactive quitting – quitting when it gets tough – don‟t!

3. Serial quitting – quitting time and again, for the wrong reasons.

4. Coping – persevering when you shouldn‟t.

5. Failing – not knowing the difference of when to stick and when to quit.

How do you know? Measure your progress against your goals. If you‟re making progress,

stick. If you‟re not, re-evaluate – it may be time to quit.

The best advice: 1. Decide in advance when to quit.

2. Never quit for short term reasons, always quit for long term ones.

3. The long term will be here before you know it!

Part 5: The Challenge

I had completed a test swim on Friday 28

January 2011 and there was no ice.

We returned on Saturday 29 January 2011,

to be told by a walker that the car park

had been -8.5C when he arrived at

0630.

We arrived at Llyn Llydaw to find it 90%

frozen – with ice of 3-4cm thick –

overnight.

We had to change the route and adapt the

plan. Everyone offered to come another

day, but no, this was the day.

Video available at: http://www.cappeu.com/About/Birmingham

HeartAppeal.aspx

Everyone at Llyn Llydaw

Getting Ready

David clearing the ice for entry “Just one more!”

The Swim

Almost there

Just keep going, even though you can‟t feel

your feet, legs or hands...

The Result

• Water temp 0-1C, ice across the water.

• Air temp -3C.

• 200m swim across the bay.

• Diversion to avoid ice.

• In the water for c. 4 mins.

• Couldn‟t feel feet, legs, or hands.

• Couldn‟t stand.

• Lifted out of the water.

• Into the support vehicle.

• Rushed down to the hot shower with a Dr. on each side.

• Body temp dropped by 2.5C in 10 mins (38.52C – 35.96C).

Being lifted out of the water

Life Lesson 5: Mix Up and Move Forward

Strengths Rotation:

• Using different strengths at different

times to avoid boredom and fatigue.

Strengths Dynamics:

• Using strengths in combination to

generate powerful results.

Strengths Partnering:

• Using the strengths of others as a

complement to your own strengths

and weaknesses – the essence of

great teamwork.

My Amazing Support Team

• Chris “Cool Guy” Byrne

• David “007” Stephenson

• Tony “Fix it” Andrews

• Ilias “The Doc” Macheridis

• Alex “Ice Man” Linley

• Dean “The Muscle” Lockton

• Chris “Made it Float” Holden

• Lesley “Look Out” Holden

• Mike “Drive Safe” Round

• Justin “Action Man” Owen

• Paul “Gotcha” Kay – who took the photographs!

Part 6: The Homecoming

Sense of delirium for 2-3 days after the

event – with what felt like nothing to

think about!

Sophie had her wish – she was on

television – twice! BBC Midlands

Today and ITV Central News.

Life divided into two stages – “Before the

swim” and “After the swim”.

But above all, the sense of massive

achievement – for having pushed

through the dip and come out on the

other side.

Sophie with Prayer Bear

Life Lesson 6: Our Greatest Contribution

What have I learned?

1. We are capable of more than we

might ever believe

2. Overcome the resistance inside you

3. Start the work

4. The positive spiral of goal attainment

5. Establish a new baseline

6. Open the door of possibility

“Things lead to things”

Prof. Adrian Furnham

Frequently Asked Questions

The questions I am most often asked following my extreme swim are:

• What was the hardest part? [Overcoming every sensation that tells

you not to do what you are about to do]

• What was the best part? [Completing the swim, followed by the

point when my body temperature started to rise about 40 mins

later]

• Did you ever feel like giving up? [On one level, often. On the level

that mattered, never]

• Would you do it again? [Yes, in a heartbeat...]

• What‟s next?! [Watch this space!]

Acknowledgements

This project would not have been possible without the support of many

amazing people, who gave of their own strengths in the service of others:

Tony Andrews, Trudy Bailey, Baron Hill Estate, Dr. Chris Byrne, Nicky Garcea,

Reena Govindji, Chris and Lesley Holden, Fidelis Hynam, Sally Jones, Paul

Kay, Dean Lockton, Dr. Ilias Macheridis, Gurpal Minhas, Brynmor Morgan,

Kissa Mwenelupembe, Prof. Tim Noakes, Justin Owen, Lewis Pugh, Mike

Round, Snowdonia National Park Authority, David Stephenson, Emma

Trenier.

And of course, my family, who were more scared about me doing this than I

could ever have imagined: Mum, Dad, Jenny, Jack, Lucy, Sophie and Ben.

And finally, thank you, for your donation and for supporting the

amazing work of BCH. We raised over £25,500 by the end!

We did it team!

Key Readings