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Supporting Fathers
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
• We work to ensure all our services are inclusive
• Fathers are a key target across all our services
• Our face to face and outreach work goes to where
fathers are
• We consult via focus groups on what works for fathers
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
• The key challenge is to build on use of our helpline and email helpline
• 13% of calls and rising from fathers to the helpline, this flies in the face of assumptions about men’s use of helplines
• We surmise that their deep anxieties are so strong that they overcome wariness about asking for help and call the helpline
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
Recently analysed 4,838 calls to the helpline from fathers
Findings:• 63% expressed anxiety about their situation and their
levels of stress• 62% of fathers were concerned about the emotional state
of their children • 61% wanted to talk about issues around divorce and
separation
Parentline Plus supporting fathers
Findings continued:
• 37% voiced worries about couple disagreements and conflict
• 44% of calls are from fathers in a nuclear family
• 21% wanted to talk about contact issues
• 50% of calls were about problems with teenage children
• 23% were concerned about children aged 9-12
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
Core messages:• Fathers know they are key to their children’s wellbeing,
and they are concerned about how to find solutions to the challenging and negative behaviour that they see in their children
• Fathers want their family experience to improve but they appear to lack confidence in some of the basic communication and listening skills that enable positive engagement with other family members
• Where there is conflict about contact arrangements, fathers worry about how little they see their children and how difficult it is to make a difference
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
One father said:
“You name it she does it. Grounding is now losing its usefulness – she is giving everyone a hard time with her hormones raging and refusing to comply at all. Don't get me wrong we do have some good times but they get less and less. I am willing to try anything to bring tranquillity to the home again.”
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
The issues:
• School – truancy, exclusion, bullying – lack of engagement with the school
• Divorce and separation – contact, parental responsibility, repartnering, money impact on children
• Teenage children – high levels of conflict, frustration,
worries about risky behaviours
Challenging Behaviour
0%
5%
10%
15%
20%
25%
30%
35%
40%
45%
Fathers All Calls
a) Conflict with siblings
b) Conflict with parent
c) Conflict with peers
d) Conflict with stepparent
e) Conflict with other family members
f) Lying
g) Stealing
h) Involved in Youth Justice System
i) Pester power
j) Smoking
k) Drug use
l) Alcohol
m) Threatening/wanting to leave home
n) Runaway
o) Bad crowd
p) OTHER
Challenging Behaviour:
Emotional state of the caller
0%
10%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
70%
Fathers All Calls
a) Anxiety
b) Stress
c) Anger
d) Bereavement
e) OTHER
Feelings:
Parentline Plus Supporting FathersReaching out to fathers:
• Email helpline [email protected], launched as a father friendly service in 2004
• Evaluation demonstrated that fathers using the service had a higher level of distress than mothers, similar to helpline calls findings
• Advertising on 800 London buses over the Easter holidays and inclusion in FQ magazine (the essential Dad mag) and on their site
• Fathers Direct – information in their newsletter and in their Fathers Work magazine
• In Working with Men journal, to 700 agencies working with young men
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
Fathers, services and society: • Fathers want to do the best for their children• Fathers offer a different, but equally valid perspective to
how a family is doing• Acknowledge that when both parents are involved at all
stages in a child’s life the child thrives. Seeing only one parent does not equate family involvement
• Children learn early on that their father matters• Respect the views of fathers and seek to engage them in
any care, education or support given to their children
Parentline Plus Supporting Fathers
Fathers, services and society continued:• Reach out to fathers and develop specific father-orientated
activities• Be flexible not directive in the delivery of whole family
services• Acknowledge that mothers can sometimes act as gatekeepers
to fathers, exacerbating a father’s lack of practical and emotional engagement in the family, because they are reluctant to let go of the power contained in their role of nurturer
• Consider working to identify couple and relationship difficulties as well as working with the whole family
